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Fanfic / Homestuck high

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Homestuck high (note capitalisation) is an infamous Troll Fic in the Homestuck fandom (allegedly). It begins as a fairly bizarre but innocuous High School AU, in which John and Gamzee compete to take Rose to the Spring Fling. Then it gets weird. Of course, this fanfic has gained infamy with even the biggest fans of the original webcomic—not only due to its generally poor quality, but because it has very little to do with anything or anyone in Homestuck itself.

After a year long hiatus, during which time it was presumed by many to be a Dead Fic, Homestuck high finally updated with Chapter 9. However, the fic was officially discontinued on its fourth anniversary, when the author posted a lengthy addendum confirming the story's status as a Troll Fic and explaining why it would no longer be updated.

Compare My Immortal, Dave Stdider Pokemon Traner, Tarvos and Fairie: A Love Story and Learning and Sburbing.

As of May 9, 2020, the fic has been removed by the author from However, it has not been lost, thanks to it having been archived in various locations across the web.

Provides examples of:

  • Adaptational Sexuality:
    • John (who states in canon that he is "not a homosexual") has a threesome with Gamzee and Karkat at one point. To be fair, though, given that he's in love with Rose, he's still technically not a homosexual...
    • Kanaya (a lesbian in canon) makes out with John's dad in chapter nine. This is probably the least weird part of the fanfic at that point.
  • Alliterative Title: Homestuck as High School AU.
  • All Just a Dream: The original chapter 10 was going to reveal that everything after chapter 1 was thought up by Karkat while he was in his coma.
  • Alpha Bitch: Rose.
    "Hi rose" [John] said blankly
    "What do you want loser" [Rose] replied coldly
    "I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the dance with me?" John said
    "Ok" Rose said "But if someone hotter than you asks me then im gonna go with them"
    "Thats ok" John said
  • Artifact Title: Only the first chapter has anything to do with high school.
  • Artistic License – Biology: Jade gives birth to triplets after a mere two weeks of pregnancy, and each child has a different father. Possible, but very unlikely. (The part about each child having a different father, that is, not the two-week gestation.)
  • Battle of the Bands: Eridan defeats demon!Sollux in a musician's duel. Later on in Chapter 9, there is set-up for a climactic final battle between Dave's band and Sollux, but we never get to see it due to the fic's lack of conclusion.
  • Composite Character: Tavros is now simply Karkat suffering amnesia after a botched suicide attempt. There's also Eridan and John, as elaborated below.
  • Costume Porn: In the first couple of chapters, as part of the usual bad High School AU schtick; Rose wears a leather bikini.
  • Extreme Omnivore: Vriska eats napkins and continues to do so after she finds out that Jade peed on them.
  • Fat Bastard: Demon!Sollux "probably had fifteen girths", whatever that means.
  • First-Person Perspective: Chapter 7 is the only chapter written in first-person.
  • Girl on Girl Is Hot: The reason why John is okay with Rose having a thing for Jade.
  • Hammerspace: Eridan is able to put his guitar in his pocket.
  • Heir Club for Men: Of the three triplets Jade gives birth to, the girl is the only one that is biologically Dave's child, while the two boys are Sollux and Tavros's sons respectively. Dave finds this very distressing.
  • Henshin Hero: John is granted the power to turn into Eridan by Aradia.
  • Heterosexual Life-Partners: Dave and Karkat, supposedly.
  • High-Heel–Face Turn: Nepeta, who was working with Sollux for some reason and then decided to go with Rose when she suddenly falls in love with her.
  • High School AU: It starts out as one, anyway.
  • Hypocrite: After declaring "gay stuff" to be "gross", the author writes the heroes engaging in a detailed albeit confusing gay threesome.
  • IKEA Erotica: The John/Rose sex scene, as well as the John/Tavros/Gamzee sex scene.
  • Informed Attribute: Dave and Vriska apparently really get around, including with each other, and Dave is into virgins.
  • In Name Only: It has nothing to do with Homestuck except for characters' names.
  • Insane Troll Logic: For the simplest example, we have John falling for Rose after she bit his arm, broke his glasses and made him cry. True love right there!
  • Left Hanging: The fic ended prematurely, leaving all of its plots and subplots unresolved.
  • Love Dodecahedron: Gamzee and John both like Rose, whose first love was Karkat, who then became Tavros and slept with Jade, who is dating Dave but has also been impregnated by Sollux, who may or may not have also impregnated Rose using John as a proxy. Furthermore, Vriska has a crush on Dave, Jade and Rose have feelings for each other (according to John), and John finds Karkat attractive and ends up having sex with both Gamzee and Tavros (at the same time).
  • Love Triangle: Subverted; John/Rose/Gamzee, Jade/Dave/Vriska and Karkat/Jade/Dave are all set up but none of them go anywhere.
  • Makes Just as Much Sense in Context: i.e. none.
  • Mundane Made Awesome: John develops magical powers because of a blast of dark magic which comes out of a McDonald's burger.
  • The Power of Rock: This is apparently how Sollux and his equally evil brother Skrollux can be defeated.
  • Purple Prose:
    "I lust johnatan NOT YOU!" she eviscerated softly wilst she cries the velvit tears odf the mennopauses that climacate from the ruens of the reched pedimeants of life.
  • Random Events Plot: Not a single thing in the entire fic makes any sense at all.