Funny / The Online Warrior

  • Anything funny in Assist Me! Series are here
  • During the party at which Max and his friends played live offline games of Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 after its release Max's dog starts licking one of the guests in the ear. It's as hilarious as it is cute, especially one of the guests calling Max's dog a whore and Max frequently telling it to get down onto the floor.
  • The entire video of Doom and Wesker watching the Resident Evil 6 trailer. Especially the end, when Doom sees the logo...
    Doom: Huh, looks like a giraffe getting blown by a manatee.
    Wesker: Oh goddammit! Now I'll never be able to unsee that!
    • What, no mention of Wesker's Flat "What." when he sees his kid?
  • ANY outtakes scene from the Assist Me! videos. Especially Doom when every time he screws up, he'll say some random lines.
  • Doom vs Star Wars. Watching Doom dance and cause chaos as the Rancor while dropping numerous F-Bombs will leave you dying of laughter.
  • During the Let's Plays of Resident Evil 6, numerous references are given, ranging from the Paranormal Activity movies to The Big Lebowski, and many more jokes ahead.
  • The match where Jigglypuff was play during Yo Videogames : Super Smash Bros Brawl
  • The Street Fighter X Mega Man tips and secrets video is hilarious throughout. There's at least one hilarious line for every character shown.
    "Turns out Chun-Li doesn't like the Megabuster. Gotta shoot her in da face wit' da Megs!"
    "Then you take Chun's Thighsnote  over to Viper's childbearing hips. And in the epic batle of hips vs thighs, thighs will always win."
    "Looks like Cyclops vs Dhalsim is a 9:1 matchup!"
    "Wait, Watermelons? WTF?"
    "Then it's time to play Mega Man Fruit Ninja Soccer with Rose, then take her Ouroboros beam (Hey guys I'm Strider lol) over to Rolento"
    "Rolento gives you some grenades, ~just 'cause he's a cool guy~"
    "Turns out that explosive shrapnel is an effective weapon against the very nude."
    Ryu: "You cheap turtle motherfu-"
    "Balrog mercilesssly chases you through the Casino stage, which you counter with the legendary tactic of HOLDING RIGHT."
    Vega: "Rrrrrrrrrrockman! You are beautiful like a rose petal- OHSHI-"
    "Turns out M. Bison's not a big fan of the ADOUKET."
    "Is it the demon from Hell? The respawn of Satan?! Oh, it's just Akuma. Hey buddy."
  • Every time Donkey Kong Country trolls Max during his and Matt's Let's Play, every time Max starts "Jackie Chan'ing" and manages to avoid several obstacles through blind luck, which doubles as a Moment of Awesome, and especially their conversations regarding "Bananas and Sex."
  • During any Let's Play where Matt is the one playing, i.e. Mega Man X, and Mega Man (Classic) (1, and as of recently 2). His reactions to whenever he loses or fucks up in any of the games he's playing is hysterical. You can view some of his reactions here, here, here, and here. Kinda makes you wish they had a rage cam, doesn't it?
  • The entire Dreamcast play through of Virtual Tennis. Namely Matt's ranting on the game.
  • BOSS RAGE! Feat. Eyedol (Classic Killer Instinct)
    Max: Oh my God, I press ONE button and he goes FUCKING BALLISTIC on me!
  • In his BOSS RAGE against ARIA (KI2013S2), he discovers cheap combo that allows him to fake out the "Kyle" difficulty (which learns your attacks) and get in some emergency damage. But then the AI learns what he's doing and totally takes the piss out of Max's newfound enthusiasm.
    Max:'re wrecking your own house! Why are you wrecking your own shit?!
  • Hugo Breaks Street Fighter: BOSS RAGE Outtake. Hugo does something unexpected for Max. That's all.
  • Nintendo Direct Parody. Seriously the ENTIRE Parody of this promo.
  • BOSS RAGE! Featuring GOD RUGAL & SHIN AKUMA (Capcom Vs. SNK 2). The entire video is full of hilarious moments. In chronological order:
    "Four syndicate bosses have gone mysteriously missing after the latest Mark of the Millenium tournament. Undoubtably, this could be in relation to the recent actions of one M. Bison, who was found scissor kicking his opponent Dan Hibiki to his death. (Tragic.)" - introductional sequence which places Max as a news reporter for the fictional news channel of CVS 2, 'News Combo 7'
    "The hell outta here. I play Third Strike!" - to Ryo, playing with the P-Groove (which specifically immitates SFIII 3's playstyle, down to parrying)
    "Shoryureppa, you blonde bastard!" - to Rock, after beating him with Ken (and remember: Max is partially blonde in real life!)
    "So we've got a dude from GQ, random boy.. lookin for his dad, and Sakura, roaming the streets, just beating up assholes." - Iori, Rock, and Sakura (obviously) in that order.
    "Geeeeese! Geeeeeeeeeeese!! GEESE!!! I gotta kill this guy with a super...and how appropriate is it that Rock is at the very end; Rock, you gotta kill your daddy! Let's go!" - upon getting to the special sub-boss battlenote  against Geese Howard
    "Let's go! Let's play some Street Fighter, come on!" - a match starts between Akuma and Sagat, both of which instantly spam their respective projectiles nine times while he says this
    "..such events are common in bursts of extreme anger or rage, mostly caused by viewing Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-li. ... Be careful, kids. Winners don't watch that movie."
    "There is no hope! Only Zuul!" - before ragequit #17
    "OH SHIT!" Seeing Dan Hibiki kick his ass, prompting ragequit #19
    "I don't think we have enough points for any of the crazy shit, but at least we got close. We got somewhere." - cue God Rugal bothering to finally appear.
    "There is always hope, and hope has lead us to the most evil motherfucker in the game! Let's rock!" - during God Rugal's intro screen
    "We just need hope! We need to believe!" "We need more than hope, Benny! We need a hero!" - Benny (we remind you, a dog) and Max as 'I Need a Hero' proceeds to start playing in the background
    • And from the God Rugal battle alone:
    "Holy fuck, he chucked Akuma's body!" - in reference to God Rugal's start-of-match pose
    "Yes! Ultimate hype battle, let's go!" - after losing to God Rugal repeatedly, this is directly before he starts a losing match to God Rugal as a lone Shin Akuma
    * Ken killed, with only remaining character Rock* "Alright, Ken, you did it! You set us up for the super! All we gotta do is hit the super now!" *promptly misses super, then loses match by chip out just before God Rugal runs out of health*
    "OHHHH MYYYY GOOOOOOOOD, WE DID IT! Game over! That's it!" - after finally winning with solo Rock, after 38 attempts
  • Max reacts to the Nash/Charlie reveal for Street Fighter V. Essentially, the moment he realizes what day it is.
  • The Hidden Character Intros for Mortal Kombat X between Scorpion and Sub-Zero. All of it. Some of the notable mention:
    Sub-Zero: You teleporting whore!
    Scorpion: Frozen BITCH!
    Sub-Zero: I'll bring you down a tier!

    Scorpion: Do you sell ice-cream?
    Sub-Zero: No only death!
    Scorpion: I WANTED ICE-CREAM!!

    Scorpion: Everyone skips these anyways.
    Sub-Zero: I love you!
    Scorpion: I know!!
  • "I'm GONNA DIE, the flower girl."
  • Four words: "We Can Smile Again."
    • Since the video got removed: Max somehow manages to fail at knocking out Master Core, an immobile object that doesn't attack and should be a cakewalk. He finds out the hard way, despite warnings from Twitch chat, that the Master Core rises up in the sky and shoots undodgeable dark waves if one takes too long defeating it.
  • Just as Kenny hits the jackpot on the roulette in Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball, he gets up and yells "SUCK MAH DICK!"
    • Now has a sequel, provided by Max himself in Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball 3
  • During the Bayonetta 2 walkthrough, the guys decide to try Bayonetta's Daisy costume. Cue a rousing chorus of "BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN' EVERYWHERE!" until Bayonetta breaks a few pots, causing an awestruck Simmons to proclaim...
    Simmons: They're coins!
  • When Kenny and Simmons start playing Ghosts 'n Goblins as part of the NES Classics Stream, Simmons asks why Arthur was naked in the opening cutscene, causing Kenny to blurt out "What, you never wanted to fuck in a graveyard before?!" A few minutes later, Steve and Max walk back in cracking up, explaining that they were just in the other room where Jessica was watching the stream...with Kenny's daughters, meaning they heard everything Kenny said. Apparently Jessica's reaction was a Face Palm.
  • Who walks through a portal in time and goes, "Hey, you, wanna fight?" While the Asura's Wrath fight against Ryu—>Evil Ryu and Akuma—>Oni is highly awesome, there are plenty of funny parts to go around, such as Ryu walking through a portal in time and picking a fight with Asura.
  • While playing M.U.G.E.N, they come across (admittedly very well done) fighting game sprites for all sorts of characters, including those not from fighting games, in a Loads and Loads of Characters roster. In particular, they start a tag-team mode against Cloud and Squall. And, oh boy, does everybody go into distress when trying to beat these two "kids", as they call them. Even God Rugal and God Gouki aren't enough... And that's not including when Rugal gets ejected completely from the fight in a bizarre glitch.
  • NFL Blitz is god-like.
    • Their reactions when someone donated $10,000. Steve is gone, Simmons is Laughing Mad, Kenny sits there in Stunned Silence, and Max scrambles to make sure that it's real.
  • The Tekken 7 Boss Rage, which features "Devil Kenny" (complete with voice editing!) and Simmons cosplaying Lucky Chloe.
    [Enter Devil Kenny]
    Steve: That just...that just happened.
    Devil Kenny: (now sporting a Voice of the Legion) What is the purpose? Why are you even doing this? Just give up!
    Max: (gawks)
    Devil Kenny: There's no point to this! What, is this for your ego?
    Steve: (also gawks)
    Devil Kenny: Fuck Tekken, man! Like, "ohhh we're gonna beat the hardest—" really? Eddy's a backup dancer. Why? (Max moves out of frame) There's people watching this?! What?! (Steve puts some distance in between him and Devil Kenny) Where are you going? (Max peers back into frame) What are you looking at?! I'm probably gonna be in Yo! Video Games! for another year, and just end up being a backup dancer!
    (After another defeat, the AI taunts him)
    Devil Kenny: Look at that! He taunted you! WOW. The computer disrespected you! Like I've been disrespected!
    (Cut to later in the stream, with Kenny having departed)
    Max: What happened to Kenny?
    Steve: How—what is it?
    Max: He didn't go full Devil yet, did he?
    Steve: I saw some wings, I—
    Max: He didn't get the Devil Gene, did he? Because if the Devil Gene comes out in Kenny, it's a fucking problem.
    Steve: That's true; that's true.
    Max: Somebody let Harada know that as long as Lucky Chloe does not actually ha
    (Simmons jumps into frame wearing a pink tutu, cat paw gloves, and a cat ear headphones. He imitates Lucky Chloe's intro while Max and Steve just stare ahead in shock)
    Devil Kenny: WHAT?! WHAT IS THIS?! YOU'RE A FUCKING TROLL! WHAT THE FUCK, SIMMONS?! YOU'RE ALWAYS SUCH A HATER! YOU—(grabs a box and thrashes Simmons with it) YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT! (Simmons drops) Mocking me...LUCKY CHLOE IS TRASH!
    (Cut to Kenny, now with horns, staring a hole through Max and Steve)
    Max: Uh...Kenny's become the devil...
    Steve: He's staring right at us! The horns are serious...
    (The gun wielding jobber does exactly that, throwing Alisa's arms to the floor)
    Max: Nevermind. Fuck everything. He took your arms—
    Steve: MAX IS A LIAR AND A CHEATER! (Steve is gunned down and defeated)
  • Max's reaction to Street Fighter EX Plus having no endings and just saying "Game Over" after he beats it in Street Fighter Legacy:
    Max: Game Over?! What the fuck? What the fuck is that?! What the fuck is this?! Game Over?! Are you fucking serious?! Are you serious?! That's all we get?! That's all we get?! That's fucking horseshit! It went to nothing! What the fuck?! (presses start) OH MY GOD! Come on! Are you serious?! I worked so fucking hard!
  • In his Street Fighter EX 2 playthrough, Max gets to Bison. When Bison somehow goes over the bomb:
    Max: WHAT?! Did you just not give a shit?!
  • The doods' freakout over a cockroach has to be seen to be believed. From Steve wanting to get back at it for "making [him] look like a bitch" to Simmons contemplating crushing it with an arcade stick.
    Max: (while everyone else screams as it runs off) GET AWAY FROM MY COMPUTER, FUCK-FACE!
  • Max's anime transformation
  • Any time he becomes an Edge Lord when playing Dark Souls 3, especially when a text-to-speech program was singing "Bring Me to Life"
  • The doods watching that episode of Oprah when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were on, promoting their "Coming Out of Their Shells" tour.
    Raphael: (to a kid in the audience) Splinter's like our dad, you know? I mean what's so special about your dad?
    Steve: (as everyone else laughs) OH, NO!
    Kenny: (through the laughter) Fucking REKT! "YOUR DAD FUCKING SUCKS!"
    Max: He should've chucked that sword at 'em! Fucking murdered 'em!
  • When playing Mario Party, Kenny wins and is absolutely completely unsubtle about his celebration. Max, knowing what's coming, cues up Snoop Dogg's track for Tekken Tag Tournament 2.
  • Death. By. Soda. The doods do a blind taste test for various types of strange soda flavors, complete with the "Bowl of Shame" (undrank portions get mixed together and whoever loses a challenge later on has to drink it all). Then, they get to the end...
    Max: 3, 2, 1, go! (They all drink)
    (Immediately after taking a very small sip, Max starts convulsing and clutching his chest)
    Caption: I'm in physical pain right now
    Jessica: (laughing her ass off)
    Simmons: (waving his hand and holding onto Max's chair) OHHHHHHHHhHHHHHHhHHHhHHHH! Oh my god!
    Steve: (bent over completely horizontal, laughing, with Benny in his lap)
    Kenny: That's top ramen!
    Simmons: What the fuck was that?!
    Steve: (puts Benny down on the floor) I'm done. I'm done. I'm out!
    Jessica: (still laughing)
    Simmons: What in the Sam Fuck did you put in that?!
    Jessica: (off-camera) Nobody can guess it?
    Simmons: You better not have put alcohol in that, or I am fucking sending you my bill!
    Jessica: (off-camera) No, there is not...
    Simmons: What in the Sam Fuck?!
    Kenny: (convulses))
    Max: I didn't finish it yet...
    Kenny: It's top ramen. WOW. You took a tiny sip!
    Max: What the hell was it?! I-I jus-I just got done taking that sip; like, I just woke up. I don't know what just happened in the last thirty seconds.
    Simmons: Oh my sweet Christ!
    • The last flavor? Teriyaki Beef Jerky soda.
      • And even worse...They find out that there's actual strands of teriyaki beef jerky floating around inside the soda. The doods are horrified.
  • They use the Dreamcast's internet browser to search for Blue Waffle, as Max as never heard of it. Steve and Kenny have, though. Unfortunately, the Dreamcast has its own weird filters for content, because...
    Max: I hope this doesn't work...
    Kenny: (laughing) "I hope this doesn't work!"
    Steve: This is what we need...ohh! Okay, now go all the way down...
    Max: I found some shit...
    (Pause, then...)
    Max, Steve, and Kenny: (screaming in abject horror, convulsing and flailing around)
    Steve: (having stormed around the room) THAT WASN'T EVEN BLUE WAFFLE!
    Kenny: (something between laughing and wailing)
    Max and Kenny: (screaming)
    Kenny: (still screaming)
    Max: Dude!
    Steve: WHAT THE FUCK?!
    Max: I just saw some motherfucker's Bloodborne dick! Oh my god!
  • Max's reaction to Laura's stance in Blanka's story in Street Fighter V.
    Max: Oh my God! Oh Jesus! I looked at I wasn't looking directly at the screen and I was looking away and then I looked and I saw her...and I saw some, like, crazy fucking creature from The Thing. All I saw was like a head with legs. Looked like some shit out of Silent Hill. Oh my fuck, dude. Scared the shit out of me. We gotta kill her. Scared the shit out of me.
    • Before that, there was Max playing through Sakura's story mode. Specifically, when Sakura laments to Ryu what her life is becoming, how she can't stop the march of time, and that she "should" be doing "normal" things like settling down and starting a family. Only to very very quickly clarify that she's not trying to have any kids now.
  • Sometimes, its' the small things that convince Max to play a certain character. For example, Max gave Blazblue Cross Tag Battle a second pass purely because he found a character color palate that he liked. Specifically, Gordeaus' 13th color scheme, a.k.a. the Gambit scheme.
  • Max and Kenny completely losing their minds because Mortal Kombat did not appear at E3 as expected.
  • Following the full reveal of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, there was a lot of internet debate going on about whether the latest entry qualified as a new game or a port of the Wii U version. Max decided to fan the flames a bit by arguing for both sides of the debate, to some rather hilarious results.