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Team Fortress 2
I'm drunk! You don't have an excuse!
Let's play a Drinking Game,
Team Fortress 2
style! Most of these can and will kill you after more than an hour of gameplay. Some are marked to notify you that it absolutely WILL kill you.
open/close all folders
Take a shot at the drop of a hat.
Are you trying to be held responsible for alcohol poisoning?!
Hats actually fall off of dead players now, after an early 2014 update.
Take a shot when a Medic Übers a Spy.
Take a shot when a Pyro airblasts you off the map.
Take two shots if you get knocked off by a Force-A-Nature Scout.
Finish the glass if you were Über'd right before it.
Take a shot when you're killed by a Sniper.
An extra shot for every taunt kill you succumb to.
An extra shot if they manage to dominate you.
One more shot if you saw their laser sight just before it moved to your head.
Finish the bottle if they Dominate you with taunt kills.
Take a shot for every little kid with a mic in your server.
Take a shot whenever someone complains there are too many of a class on the team.
Another if you agree.
Another if they're complaining about there being too many of the class they're playing as.
Another if the class that's being complained about there being too much of is Sniper.
Two more if you're one of the class, and you're one of the good ones.
Take a shot whenever someone complains about there being too little of a class on the team.
Take another shot if you agree.
Another if the class is a medic.
Two more shots if the class is an engineer.
Take a shot when you're killed by a random crit.
Two if it's not an explosive.
Three if it was a melee strike.
One more if you were at full health.
Take a shot if someone with the intelligence briefcase tries to go into a resupply room, making the announcer spam "taken intelligence" "dropped intelligence" "taken intelligence"
Take two if the intelligence ends up returning to its base instead of being captured.
(For competitive players) Take a shot when your teammates rage or complain about something.
Take another if they're raging about everyone being quiet.
Take a shot and slam your head into the nearest wall when hl2.exe stops working.
Take a sip every time you feel you're going to punch something.
Note that using the Heavy's melee weapons do not count.
Finish the glass when you die of fall damage.
Take a drink whenever anyone on the server finds a hat.
Take a drink when someone micspams or spams a voice command other than "Medic!".
Take a shot whenever somebody asks for everybody to go melee-only.
Another one if someone complains about you not fighting a melee-equipped enemy with your melee weapon.
One more if they are using the Half-Zatoichi.
Take a shot for every part of your body the death cam labels (your foot, your head, your liver, etc.).
Take a shot when an enemy Heavy/Medic pair camps in front of your spawn.
Take a shot for every allied sentry after the second in a given area.
Take a shot if a Pocket Medic refuses to heal you.
Take a shot every time your deathcam shows your killer dead.
Take 2 if it's a Medic.
Take a shot if it shows an allied Spy behind your killer.
Take another shot if the killer is taunting with the spy behind him.
Take a shot every time you hear "Stab, stab, stab".
Take a shot and then facedesk every time you see a Spycrab.
Down the glass if they are on your team.
Down the bottle if they complain about people killing them.
Take a shot whenever someone on your server gets an achievement.
Down the whole bottle if it's off a taunt kill.
Take a shot whenever you accidentally press 'e' when you mean to go forward.
note Take two if a medic actually comes and heals you.
Take a shot whenever you see a ragdoll falling through seemingly solid matter.
Take another if it isn't your own ragdoll.
Down the glass if you aren't even a ragdoll when you fall through.
Take a shot every time the Intelligence is captured. Two if you're the one capturing it. Three if you make it from the Intelligence room to capturing it in one go, without dying.
If playing in a server where the Announcer will repeat "OVERTIME!", take a sip for each time she says it.
...Do you enjoy alchohol poisoning?
Take a shot when you try to extinguish a burning ally but fail to do so because he's panicking too much to hold still.
Take a shot if you catch a teammate staring at a spray.
Take a drink every time someone gets hit by a train.
Two if it was you.
Down the bottle if they were ubercharged.
Take a shot every time a Spy stairstabs you.
Take two if he facestabs you.
Take a shot every time someone mentions .
Brink Take a shot if you have to go melee after running out of all ammo.
Take another if you get a kill during this time.
Three if it wasn't a crit.
Take a shot every time someone says "MEDIC!" when there is no Medic in the team.
Two if it's an enemy Spy.
Take a shot if a Brony joins the server (not necessary if you're playing on a brony server).
Another if someone starts complaining about ponies (down the bottle if it IS a brony server)
Three if one of the two gets kicked.
Take another if he plays an engie and builds a pony dispenser that plays chiptunes (only in brony servers).
Yet another if the dispenser is spared by an enemy because of it.
Two if he likes Rainbow Dash or Derpy Hooves.
Down the bottle if he supports a Pony/Class pairing.
Go to the store, buy a crate of vodka, and drink it all if he starts complaining over the mic when other people disagree.
Take a shot if someone who is playing as Pyro starts singing Do You Believe In Magic .
note Take another if said Pyro is using the Rainblower or the Lollichop.
Take yet another if he's using both.
Take a shot every time you hear Demo's drunken gibberish.
If playing in Sawmill, take a shot every time someone gets killed by a saw.
Down the bottle and slam your face into the keyboard if you get pushed into it by a Pyro.
Take a shot if you die from afterburn/bleed less than 3 feet from a health kit.
Two if an ally took it before you.
Another one if your ragdoll falls on top of the health kit.
Take a shot if your team loses a round because of a spycap.
Finish the glass if this was because your team overextended itself fighting the other team and couldn't get back to the last point in time.
Take a shot when you kill a Spy who has absolutely no idea what he's doing.
Take a shot if an allied Pyro doesn't extinguish you when you're burning.
Another if he/she's not using the Phlogistinator.
Another two if you die from afterburn.
Take a shot whenever the game randomly decides to auto-balance you.
Another shot if it auto-balances you to the winning team.
Three more shots if it auto-balances you to the losing team.,
If playing Soldier, Demo, or Spy, take three more shots for each sentry you manage to destroy *right* before getting auto-balanced.
Drink the whole bottle if you get auto-balanced just before your team wins the match.
Down the whole bottle if you get auto-balanced while you are still alive.
Drink the bottle if your team only has Spies and Snipers.
In payload, take four shots if you run out of time just before the cart reaches the goal.
If you're saved by overtime, stuff a napkin into the top of the bottle, and use a toy wagon to push it into your fireplace.
Take a sip every time someone kills someone on the enemy team while MONOCULUS! or Merasmus is present.
Take a shot if someone kills an enemy in the Underworld.
Down the bottle if a player kills someone while on Loot Island or Skull Island.
If the Wheel of Fate causes everyone to dance, down the bottle if the enemy has a sentry gun on the point.
Take a shot if you get killed with a Market Gardener.
In an Attack/Defense game, take three shots if you realize you are going the wrong way.
Take three shots if a teleporter warps you right into no-man's land and you instantly get killed.
Take five if it's to a sentry trap.
Take a drink every time you notice that you are curb-stomping the enemy in Payload but no one is the pushing cart.
Likewise, take a drink if you are on defense and curb-stomping but an enemy is still pushing the cart somehow.
Take a shot every time a "Something Special for Someone Special" message appears.
Another two shots if the message is funny.
note Take a shot every time a player's Strange Weapon reaches a new rank.
Finish the drink if its yours.
Take a drink if someone unboxes a crate in the server you're playing and it's not a trade/idle server.
Drink everything in sight if someone unboxes an unusual hat (regardless of the server).
Take a shot if someone is constantly smashing their Frying Pan against something.
Take a shot for each Engineer in your team that doesn't build a dispenser.
Take two shots if that Engineer is reling on another's dispenser for metal.
One more for each one that doesn't build a Teleporter .
note Take a shot for every time you see a corpse fly through/land in your field of vision with no idea where it came from.
Take a shot if someone on the losing team kills someone after the round ends. Drink a bottle if you were the one killed. Drink both if you weren't killed with a taunt-kill. Get smashed if you dying was recorded and uploaded to Youtube.
Take a shot if you get stuck in a random object in the map.
One more if someone kills you.
Finish the bottle if said random object turns out to be an enemy Spy.
Take a drink every time you abandon the current objective to hunt out the guy who dominated you.
Another if you switch to Spy to do so.
When trying to taunt kill someone, finish your drink if your character does the Thriller dance instead.
Drink another bottle if the server has Halloween Mode enabled and you didn't know it.
Take a shot of Jarate for each Jarate or Mad Milk thrown in your game.
Take a shot for every player after the 5th in a conga line.
Take an extra shot for every enemy player in said line.
Just down the bottle and start dancing IRL if the whole server's at it, and no shots are being fired because everyone's busy doing the conga.
Mann Vs. Machine
Take a shot if you take a Screenshot when you wanted to say you were ready for the wave to start note .
note Drink the whole bottle if you use the current weapon's taunt when you wanted to use whatever it was in the canteen note .
note Finish your drink if a bot carrying the regular Payload gets to your base while you focused on the Tank.
Finish the bottle and scream if an Übercharged robot takes the Payload to the hatch.
Take a shot if you are bludgeoned to death by a mob of Scoutbots.
Take one drink for Wave 1, two drinks for Wave 2, etc. if someone disconnects.
Finish the bottle if you're at least halfway through and your team falls apart.
Take a shot if the Administrator complains that the entire team died at once.
Take a shot if a huge army of robots is camping at the respawn.
Another one for every team member that dies just after leaving the respawn.
Down as many bottles as possible if a Heavy Gauntlet robot grabs the bomb.
If it holds the bomb long enough to get all three bomb buffs, proceed to break out the good stuff and drown your sorrows.
Take a shot if you got backstabbed by a Spybot because you were focusing on the tank.
Finish the bottle to try and calm yourself if a Giant Octo-Heavy has the bomb.
Take a shot whenever a Sentry Buster appears, two if it kills someone.
Take a celebratory shot if the bomb carrier is airblasted into a Bottomless Pit.
Take a shot and Face Palm if someone shoots a giant robot instead of the Über Medic healing it.
Take a shot if someone tries to taunt kill a robot.
Take a sip and laugh if he is killed.
Take three shots if he succeeds.
Double the dosage if he used a Übercharge canteen.
Toast him and down your glass if he was a Medic with the Ubersaw.
Take a shot if you are crushed by a Tank.
Take a shot if anyone lets a Major League Scout pick up the bomb and bolt away, unable to be caught.
Two if it's a Super Scout.
If someone successfully gets from the front lines to spawn and kills the Scout right before they deliver the bomb, buy them a drink.
Buy them 5 if it was an Engineer who Sentry Jumped there and used the Rescue Ranger to move his Sentry afterward.
Chug whatever you're drinking if you are tickled into submission by Heavy Mittens at a critical moment.
Take a shot if the Pyro is focusing entirely on attacking, rather than pushing the bomb carrier.
Take a celebratory shot if you annihilate a Giant Octo-Heavy's Medics in one shot with the Third Degree.
Take a shot for each one of the following in your team:
A Spy with the Eternal Reward or Wanga Prick.
An Engineer with the Gunslinger.
Or Eureka Effect.
One more if he bought a Disposable Mini-Sentry.
If he didn't get the Dispenser Range upgrade first.
A Medic with the Quick-Fix.
A Medic without a Kritzkrieg in general.
You can refrain from this one if he is spamming the Vaccinator Übercharge (that lasts 2 seconds and is ready in about 6 seconds) to instantly revive dead teammates.
A Sniper with the Sydney Sleeper or Huntsman.
Take another one, or withhold if you know them personally, if the sniper is actually doing well with either.
Also a Sniper with the Razorback.
One more if there are no Spybots in the current wave.
Regardless of loadout, take a shot if the Sniper player has less than 5 tours.
A Heavy with the Holiday Punch, Tomislav, or Natascha when there aren't any Super Scouts.
A Scout without Mad Milk, the Fan O' War, or Sandman.
A Soldier without a Banner weapon.
A Demoman with the Persian Persuader who isn't Demoknighting.
A Pyro with Degreaser.
Take an extra shot for each one that refuses to change his weapons.
Take another if they DON'T get kicked out of the server for it.
Take a shot if the Scout keeps dying because he put all of his money into his gun upgrades instead of buying damage resistances to make grabbing the money easier.
Take another if the Scout is focusing on trying to damage robots and isn't attempting to collect the money at all.
And another if your team somehow gets most (or all) of the money in spite of this.
Down the bottle and cry if he has max damage resistance and keeps dying repeatedly anyway.
Take a shot if your Demo is trying to kill Robot Medics with his grenade launcher instead of his Sticky Bombs.
Take another if he actually succeeds.
Take a shot every time you see your Medic is attacking robots with his syringe gun instead of healing, Uber Charging, or Kritzing a teammate.
Take another if the player who is playing Medic this way argued to let him play since the Medic would be useful for healing/ubering/kritzing teammates.
Take another shot if he has Mad Milk syringes and he's actually healing the team faster than if he used his Medigun.
Take a shot if your Spy isn't backstabbing any robots and is trying to get kills with his gun.
Take another if using his gun at that moment is actually more helpful than backstabbing.
Take a shot if a giant robot dies from fall damage.
Take a shot if a Mecha-Engineer builds a teleport right next your base.
An extra shot for every player that dies trying to destroy it.
Finish the bottle if a robot delivers the bomb while the whole team is focused on the Mecha-Engineer.
Take a drink to calm your nerves if you turn around and see an army of Spybots.
Finish your drink if you're playing Mann Up Mode and someone receives a rare botkiller weapon (Blood, Gold, Diamond).
Drink five if it was an Australium.
Take a shot for every Squad Surplus Voucher used at the end of the round.
Take a shot if someone gets a hat as a Mann Up reward.
Another if it's not a "robot hat" (or the RoBro 3000).
note In Mannhattan:
Take a shot every time a robot captures a point (meaning there will be another bomb).
Take 3 shots if no one made any effort to stop it.
Take 3 more if letting the gate get captured is actually good in that situation (like if a Super Scout has the bomb, since the bomb is reset whenever a gate is captured).
Take a shot whenever an area gets completely shut down by a group of Robot Engineers.
Take another if 2 Engineers are set up in the spot near the gas canister up front, clipping through each other and having 2 Sentries set up at once.
Take a shot if someone steps on the Banana Peel and goes flying into the instant-kill grinder.
Another if it was you.
Take a third if it was an enemy robot, and a fourth if it was a giant.
Down the bottle if a player gets the "Now Legal to Eat" achievement when the above happens.
Take a shot if a Robot Spy somehow gets stuck behind one of the uncaptured gate doors.
Take a shot whenever your team kills one of the Colonel Barrage bosses before they leave the first area.
Take a shot whenever you die on the barricade and the Medic can't revive you because of it.
Take a shot if the entire team is forced to fall back and deal with the tank because the Soldier and/or Demo aren't doing enough damage.
Take a shot whenever you succeed at keeping the bomb out of the town for a wave.
Take 5 shots if you kill the tank before it breaks the barricade.
Down your bottle if your team successfully kills Sir Nukes-A-Lot with fall damage.
Take a shot if you die right after being revived by a Medic.
When playing as a Medic, take a shot when you are killed from behind while your shield is active.
One more if it was a Spybot.
Or a Pyrobot.
Take 3 shots if a Giant clipped through the shield and shot you through it.
Take a shot to cool off every time someone argues Spy is useful on a map that focuses on tanks.
Take a shot whenever your Scout successfully draws aggro from a Giant and prevents your team from taking damage.
Take a shot when you run into a random area and are instantly killed by a sentry you didn't know was there.
Take another if you see an ally blow it up just moments later.
Take a shot every time you get Übered.
Take a shot if you land a randomly fired sandman ball.
Two if it kills the other guy.
Take a shot every time your scout trash-talks the enemies.
Take a shot if you use Bonk!, but a sentry or a Pyro pins you in a corner and kills you when the effects wear off.
Make it two if the sentry gun had you pinned against the skybox.
Take a shot whenever a Sniper kills you in one hit from long range.
Take a shot if you back up into a Spy and get backstabbed.
If you're using the Sandman/cleaver combo, take two shots every time you land the stunball and proceed to miss the cleaver.
Take a shot from a glock if you run into a crocket.
Take a shot if you lose a Scout v Scout match because you ran out of Scattergun ammo.
Take a shot for every Demoman who manages to pipe you from up close.
Take a shot if you fail to kill the enemy medic when you had the chance.
Take two shots when your team expects you to cap that point all by yourself.
Finish the bottle if you manage to cap it anyway.
(For competitive players) Take a sip for every airshot that happens to hit you.
If not a competitive player, make it a whole shot.
Take a shot when a Medic Übers you when you are out of loaded rockets.
Take a shot if you activate the buff banner and the medic doesn't uber alongside.
Take a shot when you are killed in the middle of a Rocket Jump.
Two if it was the jump itself that killed you.
Three if the ground killed you.
One more if someone killed you while you were using the B.A.S.E Jumper.
Take a sip for every rocket airblasted.
Take a shot if a Pyro reflects a rocket at point-blank range.
Take a shot if the pyro rocket jumps with said rocket and proceeds to ignite your team.
Down a bottle if he ignites you in midair with a Flare Gun and Axtinguishes you while landing.
Take a shot every time you whip a teammate with the Disciplinary Action, but the speed boost doesn't activate.
Take a shot every time you whip a teammate and it turns out to be an enemy Spy who drops dead.
Two if it wasn't a Dead Ringer.
Take a shot every time you rocket jump into a pit/off a cliff.
If using the Beggar's Bazooka, take a shot every time you fire all three rockets and don't hit anyone.
Two if you end up killing yourself on the splash damage.
Take a shot if you are killed by a Trolldier.
Take a shot if you fire a Crocket at an un-Übered Heavy but it fails to kill him.
Two if he kills you immediately afterward.
Three if he wasn't overhealed at the time.
Down the bottle if the Heavy player got the achievement for surviving the Crocket without being overhealed.
Take a shot for every rocket destroyed by an Engie's Short Circuit.
Take a (grudging) shot every time you make more progress with the Direct Hit than the Rocket Launcher.
Help yourself to an additional shot for every Scout or Spy you one-shot using the Direct Hit.
Have another shot to drown out the annoyance every time your someone team on your complains about you using the Direct Hit.
Finish the bottle if you kill more than two Scouts or Spies with one full reload (four rockets) of your Direct Hit. No one's going to believe you anyway.
Take a drink when your Cow Mangler's Charged Attack manages to kill more than one enemy.
Take a second drink if it's because of the afterburn.
Finish the bottle in shame during the respawn wait if you vaporize or immolate yourself.
Shout "Pull!" in your best R. Lee Ermey accent and take a shot every time you manage to kill an enemy with the Reserve Shooter's mini-crits.
Do the same as above, but shout "Maggots!" instead if you land a Market Gardener crit.
Take a shot when someone calls you (or all the Pyros collectively) "W+M1".
Laugh over a hearty drink if you dominate them.
Take a shot when you run out of flamethrower ammunition.
Take another if you switch to the Flaregun and realize that the Shotgun would've been a lot more helpful in this situation.
Take a shot every time you fail/miss an airblast.
Take a shot if you airblast normally and accidentally discover a teammate is a spy.
Take a shot if you airblast a projectile the moment it comes out of an enemy's gun.
Down the bottle if it stops a rocket jump.
Another if it was accidental.
Finish the bottle if it wasn't.
Take two shots for every time an enemy Pyro reflects something you reflected first.
Take a shot when you manage to successfully rocket jump with the airblast and go absolutely nowhere.
Take two if you die from fall damage.
Take a shot if you manage to reflect a Huntsman arrow.
Take another if you kill an enemy with it, or two if it was the Sniper that shot it.
Down the whole bottle if you get a headshot.
Take a shot every time someone complains that airblasting is easy and overpowered.
Take another if they try to prove it and instead just fail repeatedly/hilariously.
Take yet another if you end up dominating them either with a reflected projectile or by airblasting them into an environmental hazard.
Take a sip when you miss a flare.
When using the Manmelter, make it a shot every time you waste a stored crit.
Take a shot when an ignited Spy keeps running along casually as if his cover wasn't blown.
Take another if he actually succeeds in backstabbing someone afterward.
Take another if it happens to be you.
Take two shots in frustration if the spy manages to get healed by your team's medic.
Take a shot when you fail to kill a Heavy with the Axtinguisher or Postal Pummeler.
Take a shot when an enemy kills you right before burning to death.
Make it four if he dominated you with that kill and you got revenge with the subsequent burn-to-death, making both sounds play at once.
Finish the glass if you and another Pyro kill each other at the same time with your flamethrowers.
Down the bottle if you manage to get the Dead Heat achievement.
Take a shot when you die against an enemy but kill them 10+ seconds later due to afterburn.
Two if they're a domination and revenge kill, respectively.
Take a shot if you miss lighting someone on fire and harmlessly whack them with the Axtinguisher.
Take one more if it kills them anyway.
Take a shot if you activate the Phlogistinator's Mmmph! meter, only to have someone waiting nearby to kill you as soon as the taunt ends.
Take one more if that someone is an Ubercharged Heavy.
Two more if it's a Spy who kills you with his Fencing taunt.
Take a shot every time you activate a spy's dead ringer and see him running away, invisible, but on fire.
Take a shot if a burning ally runs at a random direction while you try to extinguish them.
Another one if it turns out to be an enemy Spy.
Take one more if you just helped that Spy get closer to his targets.
Drink continuously while chasing and burning a Dead Ringer spy.
Alternatively, take a shot for each Axtinguisher crit needed to kill him.
Drown your sorrows if a Spy manages to dominate you.
Take a shot whenever a Huntsman Sniper scores a kill with an arrow you lit.
Take three shots if you attempt to light a Sniper's arrow and discover he's an enemy spy.
Take a shot every time an enemy Pyro extinguishes a player you lit with the Manmelter.
Take another if he kills an ally with the resulting crits, one more for every ally he kills this way.
Finish the drink if he kills YOU with the crits.
Down a shot if you successfully light, airblast, and skeet shoot an enemy with the Flaregun.
One more if it was a scout.
Take a shot for every enemy you kill at huge distances with the flaregun.
Three if you hadn't even seen them.
Two if you're not critting them (critless Manmelter, they're a Pyro too).
Another if you're out-sniping the enemy snipers this way.
Explosives and what not:
Take a shot when a Medic Übers you when you are out of loaded grenades.
Take a shot when a Medic gives the kritz and you fail to destroy anyone/thing.
Take a shot when you kill yourself with your own explosives.
Two if it was a large sticky trap.
Three if you die to melee in the midst of it.
Take two if, while Sticky Jumping, you die from fall damage.
One more if you were using the sticky jumper.
Take a shot for every enemy you kill with a sticky trap in the exact same location.
Take a shot for every trap wasted by an airblast.
Take another and laugh heartily if the Pyro pushes it into a group of his teammates, who you promptly blow up.
Take a shot if you smack someone with the Ullapool Caber and they survive.
Two if someone finishes you off before you touch the ground.
Three if it says they killed you with a caber when they're not even Demo.
Take a shot when you fail to destroy that engie nest.
Take another if only the sentry or engineer survived.
Take a good swig every time your Demo does or yells "Cheers, mate!" (if you never taunt, do so every time you get a melee kill)
Take a shot every time an Engie's Short Circuit destroys your explosives.
When using the Loose Cannon:
Take a shot every time you land a Double Donk
Another if he survives it.
Take a shot every time your cannonball's knockback actually helps the enemy.
Take a shot if you die immediately after obtaining 4 heads.
Take a shot if you're killed or otherwise interrupted in the middle of a shield charge.
Down the whole bottle if you charge off a cliff.
Open another bottle if you charge off a ledge and die from fall damage.
Take a shot if an intended target of a shield charge casually side-steps you in time.
Another if he does you in from behind, mid-charge.
Smash the bottle/glass against your head if it was a Spy or Backburner Pyro.
Take a shot if you accidentally kill someone with your shield bash instead of your melee weapon.
Another if you're using the Eyelander or Half-Zatoichi.
note Take a shot if you charge at a player and hit another one you hadn't seen.
Two if the player hit was an invisible spy.
Take a shot when you're assassinated. (i.e. backstabbed or headshot)
Two if the Spy was disguised as your Medic.
Take a shot when you get killed while eating your sandvich.
Two if it was a Scout who battered you then took it for himself.
Finish the bottle if the Scout gets the "Dodgers 1, Giants 0" achievement at that moment.
Another if they're kind enough to wait until you finish.
Finish the drink if you do better just running around with the Fists of Steel.
Take a shot every time you drop the sandvich for a teammate, but an enemy grabs it instead.
Take three shots every time you run out of minigun ammo.
One more if you are using the Huo-Long Heater.
Take a shot for every time a Scout hits you with his bat.
Just down the bottle if he beats you to death with it.
Take a shot every time your Heavy starts to imitate his minigun firing.
Finish the glass and start singing with him everytime he starts singing.
Take a sip every time your Heavy calls someone a baby.
Take a shot every time you actually get a Shotgun kill.
Another 2 if you weren't out of minigun ammo.
Take a sip every time you get a revenge or a domination for the Medic healing you.
Take a shot whenever a building of yours is destroyed.
Take a shot when a Spy makes an attempt to Telefrag you.
Take a shot when someone else beats you to the ammo crate.
Take a shot if you had to play Engineer because the other Engies on your team are using the Gunslinger.
Take a shot every time a Spy backstabs you but gets killed by your sentry.
Take a shot if your sentry kills you.
Take a second if you were gibbed by the rockets.
Take another if it was a mini sentry.
Take two shots if a Scout phasing with Bonk! Atomic Punch causes your own sentry to kill you.
Take a shot every time someone gets killed by your sentry and then keeps going back and getting killed again and again.
Take another shot for each time he runs from the same place.
Down the bottle and eat the cap/cork if your building(s) get run over by a train.
Take two shots if you get backstabbed while using the Wrangler.
If a Pyro destroys your sentry, drink one shot for each level it had.
Just down the entire bottle if he killed it by reflecting its own rockets.
Whatever you're drinking, chug it all immediately whenever someone destroys a Golden Wrench.
Take a shot if you have the Frontier Justice and your buildings are destroyed after you die.
Take a quarter of a shot for every revenge crit you waste.
note Take a half shot if you lost it from dying.
Take a shot if you die while hauling a building.
Another if it was a sentry.
Another if you are using the Rescue Ranger.
Take a congratulatory shot for every enemy you gun down in a row (after the 3rd) with revenge crits after your sentry is destroyed.
Take another two if you get the "Unforgiven" achievement as a result.
Take a shot for each time a Heavy or a Scout gives you a "Need a Dispenser" command.
Another for every half minute they spend spamming the command.
Take a shot every time an enemy (usually a Scout) goes behind enemy lines to destroy your teleporter entrance.
Take two if you're able to hold off its destruction by repairing the other end, long enough for another respawning teammate to notice them and kill them.
If you're using the Eureka Effect, one shot for each time you teleport to spawn and rebuild the entrance only for the Scout to return and break it again.
Take a drink every time you upgrade someone else's building for them, you nice person.
Take another drink if you realise that you're the only one upgrading it, not the actual builder.
Take two drinks if they watch you build theirs for them.
Take a drink every time you see another Engineer stood by one of your damaged buildings and not helping fix it.
Take two drinks and sigh when all the other Engineers on your team make you realise that if you want something done, you have to do it yourself.
Take a shot if you die with 100% Über built up.
Take another two if it was a Spy who heard you say "Ready to charge!"
Finish the drink if you accidentally Über an enemy Spy.
Take a new shot if your patient was a Spy who backstabs an ally with your help.
Take another if it gets him the "Insurance Fraud" achievement.
Eat the can if he backstabs you afterward.
Take three shots if you Über your patient and they don't move forward.
Take three shots if you kritz a soldier or demo and they have no ammo or miss completely.
Take another shot, place it in front of you on the table, then slam your head into it if they retreat while under a uber.
Take a shot if you Über a Heavy and fail to destroy an Engineer's nest of sentry guns.
Two if the sentry's bullets pinned the Heavy against a corner.
Take a shot if you accidentally deploy your Über.
Down the bottle if it happened before the start of the match while your team was still stuck in spawn.
Take a shot every time your Über is stopped by a Pyro's airblast.
Two if you're crit-boosting a Demoman or Soldier and the Pyro blasts back the critical explosives.
Take a shot if someone complains that you are not using the regular Übercharge.
Two more if you are using the Quick-Fix.
Take a shot if you Kritzkrieg a Soldier or Demo who THOUGHT you were using a regular Übercharge.
Take two shots and log into the steam complaint forums every time you get your ubercharge meter drained by an engineer carrying a Pomson 6000.
Down the glass if you had an Ubercharge ready.
Eat the bottlecap and laugh like a maniac if you Uber JUST before he hits you.
Shove 12 bottles into your mouth and scream "Gentlemen!" if sombody else kills him before your Ubercharged ally does.
While using the Vaccinator, take a shot when you find yourself unable to change the resistance type because you activated the Übercharge.
One more if you die because of it.
Take a shot if your Übercharge ends and you immediately get killed by another Medic-Über pair.
Two if they waited until your Übercharge ended.
Three if it's the beginning of the game.
Take a drink every time you activate your Übercharge and are then hit with the Holiday Punch/a Sandman ball/scared by a ghost/scared by the Headless Horsemann or anything else that makes you stand there helpless with your hands up as about half your charge wastes away.
Take a Shot and laugh maniacally if you uber someone just as a spy was about to backstab them.
Take a Shotgun and shoot it through the roof of your mouth if you bring a Kritzkrieg, Vaccinator or Quick-fix and find yourself facing a proper Über.
Take a self congratulatory shot if you defeat the enemy regular Über with the Vaccinator.
Healing People and Surviving
Take a shot if your patient fails to notice you're in danger.
Two if you die before you have uber.
Three if you were running kritz and couldn't save yourself anyways.
Another two if you decide to flee rather keep following him.
Three if you die trying to escape.
Down the bottle if he makes it back without your help.
Take a shot if you play as Medic when no one else wants to be.
Take two if multiple teammates switch to Medic immediately afterwards.
Take a shot for every player who abuses the Medic call button.
Two if they're NOT a Heavy.
Ten if they're a Scout who won't sit still to let you heal them.
Down the glass in shame if you actually fall for the infamous " FYI, I am a Spy" trick.
Take a shot if you try to heal someone with the Crossbow only to kill an enemy walking by.
Another shot if you shoot a teammate and unintentionally kill a disguised Spy.
Down the bottle if you were trying to get the First Do No Harm achievement.
Take a shot if your Heavy eats his Sandvich instead of giving it to you while you're healing him.
One more if you end up dying because of it.
Take a shot if a teammate takes a health kit before you do.
Another shot if you needed it desperately more than they did (on fire, critical health, etc.)
One more if you both die shortly after and it could have easily been avoided.
Take a shot if you get killed by a Pyro whacking your patient with the Third Degree.
Another if it wasn't a crit.
Take a shot if you die from fall damage after an explosive jump when using the Quick-Fix.
Another two if you and your patient jump off a cliff.
Take a shot if your patient explosive jumps when you have the Quick-Fix and you don't jump with them.
Another if you're glad you didn't.
note Take a shot when the Vaccinator fails to protect you/your patient from a random crit.
Take three shots if you were Übercharged.
Take a shot if the player you're healing starts running to the opposing spawn. By himself.
Take additional shots for every enemy you actually defeat. Übers don't count.
Down the whole bottle if you two actually hold off the entire team long enough for victory, or make it back alive to safe territory.
Down a congratulatory bottle if the only thing the enemy spy manages to do is giving you charge via ubersaw.
WARNING: Since this class is based on good aim and judgment, we at
suggest that if you get too drunk to hit anything, stop drinking before you kill yourself.
Take a shot when you miss to headshot a Heavy.
Two if he's spun up his minigun.
Down the bottle if it's the Brass Beast.
note Just go ahead and raid a bar if you miss his entire body.
Take two shots if a Spy tries to backstab you when you have the Razorback equipped.
Take another shot if he kills you anyway.
Take 5 shots if, in doing so, he earned the "Die Another Way" achievement.
Down a bottle in shame if you didn't even notice your Razorback breaking.
Drink your pantry dry if he uses the Dead Ringer to do so.
Vomit into an empty bottle if he reappears in front of you and Face-Stabs you.
Drink the vomit-bottle if you swing your kukri at him when he reappears; if you hit him, shove the bottle up your ass.
Take a shot if you get counter-sniped.
Two if it was a Huntsman at long range, while you were using a rifle.
Drown your sorrows if a Medic counter-snipes you with a Crusader's Crossbow,regardless of your rifle/bow.
Take a shot if you fire off an arrow randomly and kill someone with it.
Two if it's a headshot.
Take another shot if it was a cloaked spy.
Drink half the bottle if a Pyro airblasts it back to you.
And the other half if it's a headshot.
Take a shot when you Jarate a Spy who manages to kill another teammate afterwards.
Down the glass if he earns the "Wet Work" achievement by doing so.
Finish the bottle at the end of the round if you spent most or all of the most round sniping other Snipers instead of other key targets.
Take a shot every time you get a double-headshot using the Machina.
Take a shot every time you get killed with a melee weapon (Backstabs excepted) while you're zoomed in.
Down your drink if it's a Taunt kill.
Take a sip whenever you nail someone to a wall with the Huntsman
Make it a shot if the ragdoll ends up in a really weird pose.
Take another if it's a Heavy and you get the "William Tell Overkill" achievement.
Take yet another shot for every enemy you kill while they're distracted by this same ragdoll.
Take a shot if someones survives a headshot.
One more if it's because of a Medic's Vaccinator.
One more if it is not a Heavy.
Succumb to alcohol poisoning if he survived a fully charged headshot .
note Take a shot if you no-scope someone with the Classic.
Another if it was a headshot.
If you landed a no-scope headshot on a Scout, have a celebratory stag party.
Take a hearty drink & chuckle whenever someone accuses you of cheating, without using any cheats.
note Give yourself a well-earned toast when you dominate them.
Take a shot if there's a class limit preventing you from going spy or 3 other people are playing spy as well.
Take a shot when you get killed by someone you didn't notice.
Take two shots if it was another Spy.
Take three shots if the Spy backstabs you.
Down the bottle if you were cloaked at the time.
Take a shot when you run around a corner and bump into a Pyro.
Take two shots when you run around a corner and bump into the person you're disguised as.
Take one more if you're not even the same class they are.
Take three more if the person doesn't realize you are disguised as him.
One more shot if that person's a Pyro.
Another if you manage to backstab them, and yet another if you get the "Identity Theft" achievement by doing so.
Take a shot every time you kill an Engie but get painted on the wall by his sentry.
Take a shot when you get covered with Mad Milk or Jarate
Another if nobody but the Scout/Sniper notices you anyway.
Take a shot if you get healed by a friendly Medic in plain view of the enemy team.
Finish the glass every time a Pyro unsaps a building with a Homewrecker.
Drink a keg if you're the one that traded him the Homewrecker.
Take a shot when your opponent suddenly turns around before you backstab them.
Two if they're a Heavy or a Pyro.
Take a shot every time you accidentally hit a razorback.
Take another if you manage to kill him anyway.
And another if he didn't even notice his Razorback breaking.
A fourth if he then complains about it "not working" or "OMG HAX".
Take a shot if someone hits you right after you deactivate the Dead Ringer.
Take another shot if they hit you right before you deactivated the Dead Ringer.
Take a shot if the game decides what you thought was a backstab was an ordinary attack.
Another if your victim didn't even notice.
Take two shots every time you get a facestab.
Take a shot if you fool a medic into following you into the line of fire of a sentry.
Take a shot if you successfully camp a teleporter and backstab multiple people.
Down the bottle if somebody goes through a second time and gets backstabbed again.
Down the bottle and smash it on your head if someone telefrags you while you're doing this.
Take a shot if you are killed while being completely invisible.
Two if it wasn't even intentional.
Take a shot when a Pyro holds you in one place for the duration of your Dead Ringer invisibility.
Take a shot if a Pomson 6000 shot drains your cloak.
Two if you were cloaked.
Three if it uncloaks you and gets you killed.
Finish the bottle if it prevented you from using the Dead Ringer.
Take a shot if you forgot you had the Dead Ringer armed and you instinctively go for your cloak button as soon as you find yourself under fire, only to immediately uncloak yourself by accident.
Take two shots if you attempt to activate your Dead Ringer in the midst of combat, only to find you had a different watch equipped.
Take two self-congratulatory shots if you can trick an enemy Medic into using his Ubercharge on you by disguising as a power class and proceeding to futz around and waste the whole charge.
Take another victory shot if the Medic who healed you is annihilated by a sentry gun immediately after the Ubercharge wears off.
Take a shot if, while using the Spy-cicle, you try to backstab someone, only to realize it melted.
Take a shot if you try to backstab a Heavy, only to catch on fire from his Huo-Long Heater.
Take three shots if the Wheel of Fate makes everyone dance while you are disguised, blowing your cover.
Down the whole bottle and grin in a sinister fashion if the enemy team completely drops the objective so that they can find you and try to kick your ass.
Down 3 of your bottles if you walk through a whole line of enemies undetected without being cloaked.
On the same note, down bottles if you managed to backstab each and every one, a bottle a kill.
Down an extra one if you killed that person by anything BUT backstabbing.
And before you ask, I am in fact trying to kill you all. If you care about your health don't do this.
When using the Cloak and Dagger, take a shot for every minute spent doing absolutely nothing while waiting for a chance to backstab.
Take 3 shots if you are killed as soon as you uncloak.
Take a shot if you bump into an invisible enemy Spy.
Take a shot if it blows your cover and you are killed.
Take 3 shots if it blows his cover and he gets killed.
Share a drink with him if you both get killed.
Take a celebration shot if you manage to chain-stab all the enemy players focusing on an objective i.e. capturing a point or pushing the Payload. Take two if you're not using Your Eternal Reward.
Take a shot if an automatic voice response(e.g. stand on the point, push the cart, etc.) alerts the enemy of your presence.
Take a shot for each backstab you get while using both Your Eternal Reward and the Dead Ringer.
If you run into the Spy you're disguised as, only to discover that he is in turn disguised as you, split a bottle with him.
Take a shot for every time you get killed while you're busy pouring yourself another drink.
Take two shots for every person you find that's also playing a Team Fortress drinking game on your server, and another one if they're playing this one.
And finally, drink a bottle for every hour you play this drinking game without getting yelled at repeatedly, banned, and/or hospitalized.