"Spanning 119 updates of ongoing development, the Team Fortress 2 team has maintained its unswerving commitment to our user base: to put more hats per square inch in our game than any other piece of media in human history. We've probably improved gameplay and added a new game mode or map here and there too - most likely by accident, while trying to upload something hat-based."
— The TF2 website, summing up the history of the game.
"STOUT SHAKO FOR 2 REFINED"
"Sniping's a good job, mate. It's challenging work, out of doors... I guarantee you'll not go hungry. 'Cause at the end of the day, long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead."
"It doesn't matter how much people respect you when they're on fire."
— Respectless Rubber Glove description
"I just kicked your ass so hard it went BACK IN TIME and got me this VIKING HAT."
— Tyrant's Helm description
"Scientists in the future have studied your ass for centuries... And sent me back in time to kick it!"
— The Tin Soldier
"Is that a miniature Spy in your pocket, or are you just happy to OH GOD STOP HITTING ME!"
— Itsy Bitsy Spyer description
"I never really was on your side"
"This is my world. You are not welcome in my world!"
"I have uploaded a boot up your metal asses!"
— Jane Doe (aka The Soldier) after a fine day of killing robots.
"There will be a certian day...fortunately it's not today, or anytime soon. But there will be a day where Team Fortress 2 becomes as outdated as Super Mario Bros.. and Contra. And in the days when that game is sitting in the dust like a forgotten memory, A few of us that took the game as a passion will sit down at our Desktops, start it up, and play a nice game of Capture the Flag at 2fort, while this song plays in the background, reminding us of what this masterpiece was and always will be."
— From a random YouTube comment
"We send itsy-bitsy cart back home!"
"Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe... maybe. I have yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet."