United States Army Air Forces Colonel Robert E. Hogan is the senior ranking POW officer in the camp and the leader of the group. He was born in Bridgeport, Connecticut, but considers Cleveland, Ohio to be his home. He commanded the 504th Bomb Group before he was shot down while on a raid on Hamburg in an operation masterminded by Luftwaffe Colonel Biedenbender. It is stated by a US Navy officer in a first-season episode that "If you weren't one of their prisoners, you'd be one of ours", due to his less-than-legal methods of accomplishing his goals. General Biedenbender stated that Hogan has a flair for the over-complex, which is often shown in the series. Many of the covert operations shown are highly complex, but due to Hogan's care in planning and the skill of the other characters, they are usually successful.
Betrayal Insurance: Hogan has a tendency to include this in to all his plans. For example, a Gestapo agent blackmailed him for a million dollars in diamonds so Hogan deliberately tips off Klink to part of the deal (obviously not telling him that Hogan is secretly running an escape and sabotage unit right under Klink's nose) so that if the Gestapo agent tries to kill them anyway, Klink will (unknowingly) save their lives, and if the agent sticks to the deal, the Heroes will cover for him and let him get away.
The Cast Show Off: Bob Crane was a highly skilled drummer. In the episode "Look at the Pretty Snowflakes", Colonel Hogan played an impressive drum solo for the song "Cherokee" in an attempt to cause an avalanche.
Character Tic: Tends to stand around nonchalantly, smirking. He also puts his hands on his men's shoulders a lot.
Complexity Addiction: Colonel Hogan's plans tend to be very complex, sometimes overly so. This gets lampshaded a few times and bites him in the ass once or twice. It's all in the name of keeping the Germans off his tracks. If a group of bombers attack a refinery, that's believable. A group of POWs luring a German bomber and its crew within stealing distance so they can use the plane to bomb a refinery? Not so much.
Consummate Liar: It's amazing the amount of bullshit Hogan is able to pass off with a straight face.
A Father to His Men/Papa Wolf: Colonel Hogan's codename is even Papa Bear. He may tease his men on occasion, but he'll go to any lengths to protect them. This extends to pretty much anyone who's helped the Heroes. He disobeys direct orders from Allied HQ in order to rescue Tiger.
Go Karting with Bowser: As senior POW officer Hogan sometimes gets invited to dinner or to parties with visiting guests, and occasionally Klink agrees to participate in prisoner recreational activities. One scene has Hogan peacefully playing chess with Klink — he throws the game, but takes advantage of the kommandant's distraction to steal his dinner and later convinces him that he was so focused on the game that he forgot he was eating.
Paper-Thin Disguise: When impersonating German officers, Hogan will often refer to himself as "Hoganmuller", "Hoganmeister", "Hoganheimer", "Hoganburg" or similar always using his surname for part of the German name.
Really Gets Around: It would take an entire page to list all of Hogan's one night stands. Suffice to say if there's an unattached female (or on occasion attached) in the episode, Hogan will work his magic. That must be some awesome aftershave he has.
Small Steps Hero: Hogan is unwilling to sacrifice innocent parties but manipulating the villains is just fine with him. He also disobeys orders, despite the very real potential of major consequences, to rescue Tiger.
Stealth Insult: Hogan is a master of this and Klink is typically the target. To give an example, he managed to convince Klink that the name the men have been calling him "Klink the Fink" is actually a compliment.
Success Symbiosis: Hogan frequently has to protect Klink or Schultz or, more often than not, both from the Gestapo or the SS to carry out his schemes.
This Is Gonna Suck: He's Genre Savvy enough to know when the rug is about to be yanked out from under his feet. For example, he knows whenever Crittendon, Hochstetter or Marya show up he's in for a rough ride.
Xanatos Speed Chess: Hogan's the master of this because no plan he has ever goes quite as planned.
Corporal Peter Newkirk
Played by Richard Dawson
Royal Air Force Corporal Peter Newkirk is the group's conman, magician, pick-pocket, card sharp, forger, bookie, tailor, lock picker, safe cracker and impersonator of German officers (and on one occasion, Winston Churchill). On numerous occasions Newkirk also impersonates women to fool the Germans and help the underground movement. He also is in charge of making uniforms and assisting in distracting the Germans to perform other sabotage.
The Casanova / Casanova Wannabe: Claims to be a ladies man and sometimes gets lucky... but usually the women he gets lucky with are Gestapo plants.
Dressing as the Enemy: He's one of the go to guys when it comes to portraying German soldiers and officers.
The Fixer: He's the one who makes the fake uniforms and clothing that the boys use for their schemes. He is also the one usually sent to fetch supplies in town and he helps forge documents.
Five-Finger Discount: He pickpockets a lot of Germans throughout the series. In fact, one of their tests on a new prisoner to check if he's a mole is for Newkirk to bump into him and rifle his pockets to make sure he's not carrying anything suspicious.
Hidden Heart of Gold: Despite his criminal skills and snarky attitude, he definitely has this. Notable instances include going back for Gretel instead of escaping to England because he was worried about the Gestapo coming after her, refusing to go through with the Berlin Betty broadcast because he was afraid to get Betty in trouble, and setting General Barton straight after the latter insulted Hogan.
Horrible Judge of Character: When it comes to women... He comes dangerously close to messing up the operations at least twice. He gets better.
I Am One of Those Too: Newkirk once attempted to pass himself off as an expert forger. The head of the forgery operation asks him if he's familiar with a certain forger and certain machine and Newkirk claims to know both intimately. Of course, one's a composer and the other's a piano.
Free French Air Force Corporal Louis LeBeau, a master chef and notoriously patriotic Frenchman. He is often seen referring to Nazis and Germans in general as "pigs", and specifically as "Boches" or "dirty Boches" (a derogatory word for Germans used since the Franco-Prussian War). LeBeau is also a master of covert operations, and has taken the precaution of befriending the camp's guard dogs. As a result, he's able to enter their compound through a secret entrance under a doghouse without the dogs raising the alarm.
Afraid of Blood: He was shot in the shoulder and the rest of the team found him unconscious. It turned out to be a very minor wound and he had simply fainted at the sight of the blood.
Amazon Chaser: He's in love with Marya and is the only member of the crew that trusts her completely.
Berserk Button: Do NOT insult France, or loot its museums. He also takes poor cooking personally.
The Casanova: LeBeau is probably the most romantically inclined member of Hogan's crew.
The Cast Show Off: Robert Clary can sing pretty well and a few episodes showcased this.
United States Army Air Corps Technical Sergeant Andrew J. Carter, aka Little Deer Who Runs Swift And Sure Through Forest, (fun fact, he was a lieutenant in the pilot episode) is in charge of ordnance and bomb-making. He also shows talent in chemistry and can produce formulas and chemical devices as needed. Carter is also often called upon to impersonate German officers and, most convincingly, Adolf Hitler. While bright and enthusiastic at his specialties, Carter often shows a lack of common sense otherwise. For example, after the blowing up of a train Carter could not remember the way back to Stalag 13.
Adolf Hitlarious: When he's pretending to be Hitler odds are you will be laughing very hard.
Ascended Extra: In the pilot he was just a prisoner from another camp passing through on his way back to England.
Badass Adorable: Carter is usually innocent, oblivious and naive. He's also an expert and complete fanatic about his bombs and has probably directly killed more people than anyone else in the group.
Beware the Nice Ones: He's the nicest, most easy-going guy in the group. He's also the guy who provides the explosives and convincingly passes for Adolf Hitler.
Born Lucky: He's the only one on-screen able to beat Newkirk at gin.
Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Goofy, absent-minded, prone to trip on his own feet and something of a Butt Monkey among the team. He's also their best demolition man and has the ability to become someone else entirely when in disguise. It's like his IQ jumps fifty points when he puts on a German uniform.
Chaste Hero: Carter is almost oblivious to the fact there is an opposite sex.
Depending on the Writer: His attitude towards women actually changes very often. While he never reaches the Casanova levels of Hogan, Newkirk, and LeBeau he does show some interest in women occasionally (notably in "Look at the Pretty Snowflakes"). Also notably, one episode in season 6 has him remarking that he never would have thought of girls as an effective distraction, while in the season 1 episode "The Gold Rush", he assumes that Schultz is late coming back to camp because he met a pretty girl in Hammelburg.
He also is typically the man to do the talking (if Hogan isn't present) whenever they impersonate Germans, partly because he looks more German than the rest of the Heroes and partly because he is an absolute master at impersonation.
Further, whenever there's something that needs exploding, it's Carter they turn to. Not only are his bombs effective, but they're also (mostly) precise, and he seems to pay attention to their appearance as well.
"Dear John" Letter: Only character in the show to get one. In "The Kommandant Dies at Dawn" he even mentions having made a carrying case for them. Though given how he acts most of the time many people wonder how he got a girlfriend in the first place.
Genius Ditz: Carter is enthusiastic but generally oblivious and he tends to get teased for his cluelessness...until they need something blown up or Hitler impersonated.
His intelligence seems to be dependent on what uniform he's wearing. In an American uniform, he's just about clueless about most things, but a genius at bomb creation. Put him in a German uniform and he's suddenly brilliant.
Last Name Basis: Another example that is the exception to the rule in this show, other characters are just about as likely to call him Andrew as they are Carter.
Lethal Chef: Klink tasted his cooking, immediately looked sick and order Schultz to take it away...and bury it.
Lethally Stupid: Sometimes crosses into this territory. For example, in "Kommandant of the Year" the crew is trying to figure out what the Germans just parked in the camp and what to do about it prompting this exchange:
Hogan: They know it's safe. The Allies won't bomb a prisoner of war camp.
Carter: Hey, gang. What about we find out what it is, and if it's important enough we get London to bomb the camp? That'd be great!
Hogan: Carter? [takes him aside and opens the door]Out.
Mad Bomber: He really likes his explosives to the point of being depressed that he had to send several of his handmade bombs to be dropped on a Nazi facility without getting to go along and watch, comparing it to sending a child off into the world.
Master of Disguise: In-universe, he is the only character who can wear a German uniform in front of Klink and Hochstetter and not be recognized.
Mean Character, Nice Actor: In-universe, Carter's scarily good at impersonating angry German officers of various calibers and Adolf Hitler, despite his puppy-esque normal demeanor.
Slasher Smile: When he pretends to be a chemical warfare specialist he gives off a real nasty one.
Suddenly Ethnicity: Carter gets a letter addressed to "Little Running Deer Who Goes Swift And Sure Through Forest", forcing him to admit he was part Sioux. Newkirk and LeBeau proceed to tease him mercilessly about it, in ways that wouldn't be quite so funny today.
United States Army Air Corps Staff Sergeant James (a.k.a. Ivan) "Kinch" Kinchloe is primarily responsible for radio, telegraph, and other forms of electronic communications. In the series pilot, Kinchloe is introduced as Hogan's chief of staff, and, in addition to his communications expertise, is seen speaking fluent French to Corporal LeBeau. Kinch is from Detroit and has worked for the telephone company. In one episode, he mentions that before the war he fought in the Golden Gloves.
The Big Guy: He's a former boxer and is taller than most of the rest of the heroes. He's also a very pleasant man.
A Day in the Limelight: Kinch was often involved in plots requiring technical/radio work, but since the color of his skin would be a bit noticeable when trying to impersonate a German official, he didn't get as many "dress up" plots as the rest of the cast. One exception involved him capturing and impersonating an African royal trying to ally himself with the Axis forces, complete with a Girl of the Week.
The Lancer: Hogan's official second-in-command,note He introduces Kinch as such to Crittendon even though Carter outranks him.
Manipulative Bastard: Not as good as Hogan, but he has shades of this. "Is General Hammerschlag Burning" has him effectively take control of the mission, leaving Hogan speechless. note Literally. He tells Hammerschlag that Hogan is a mute.
Nerves of Steel: He is the group's unofficial second in command because of his clearheadedness and his calmness under fire and in very stressful situations, and because of this, he is more respected by the other non-coms than is the technically higher ranked Sergeant Carter.
The Operators Must Be Crazy: He's in charge of the camp switchboard and he makes sure calls Hogan doesn't want to get through do not get through.
Static Character: Unfortunately, even though he is Hogan's second and well respected by the team, his role rarely goes beyond radio man and occasional German voice on the phone. Supposedly, this was one of the reasons Ivan Dixon left the show in season 6.
Throwing the Fight: At the end of The Boxing Episode he beats his competitor senseless and then throws the fight to avoid reprisals being directed against the gang from the German officers present.
What Happened to the Mouse?: Kinch is replaced by Baker in the last season without any acknowledgment or explanation. Since Klink's record of no successful escapes is still mentioned during that season, the character must have either actually died, or his death (or transfer to another camp) faked as he was 'discharged' and allowed to go home through the escape tunnel.
Considering he gets a letter (it's treated as a throwaway joke) about his final draft classification being 4-F (limited service only), it may have been the latter.
Sergeant Richard Baker
Played by Kenneth Washington
Following Dixon's departure from the show after season five, the producers replaced his character in the sixth season with United States Army Air Corps Sergeant Richard Baker. The tasks assigned to Sergeant Baker are almost identical to those of Staff Sergeant Kinchloe, including limited impersonation of some German voices.
Ascended Extra: His actor had appeared in previous seasons as an extra before becoming a main cast member.
Vladimir Minsk was a character only seen in the pilot episode. A Sergeant in the Soviet Air Force before being captured, Vladimir came from a long line of Russian tailors, and used his skills to make uniforms for the men. Newkirk and LeBeau took over his duties in the regular series. He was also bad at sports.
Dropped After the Pilot: Vladimir's actor decided the show wasn't taking the Nazis seriously enough and quit, and Carter became the fifth main character for the series proper.
Kommandant Oberst (German for Colonel) Wilhelm Klink is an old-line Luftwaffe officer of aristocratic (Junker) Prussian descent and a blatant social climber. He was born in Leipzig in the early 1890s, though he refers to Düsseldorf, where he attended the Gymnasium (high school) (graduating 43rd in his class), as his home town. After failing the entrance exams to study law or medicine, he received an appointment from Kaiser Wilhelm II to a military academy, through the influence of his uncle, the Bürgermeister's barber, and graduated 95th in his class.
Better The Devil You Know: Hogan's crew works hard to keep Klink in charge of Stalag 13 because if he got shipped off to the Russian front or court-martialed, odds are somebody competent would take over. Once or twice he's actually up for promotion and the Heroes have to foul it up to keep him at the camp.
Born Unlucky: He is the opposite of Crittendon in this regard. While Crittendon will always come out OK no matter how badly he fouls things up, Klink will usually lose no matter how hard he tries or how good the plan was.
Butt Monkey: His main purpose in the show is to have abuse heaped upon him for your viewing pleasure.
Contractual Genre Blindness: There was actually a term in Klemperer's contract. He would play Klink, provided that Klink never won. The closest Klink ever comes is when Hogan accidentally hooks him up with a beautiful widowed baroness.
General Failure: Werner Klemperer consented to play Klink only on the condition that Hogan and company would always win the day and that Klink was portrayed as a complete idiot rather than a competent officer who's simply outplayed by the heroes.
Glad I Thought of It: Klink does this all the time and naturally Hogan regularly takes advantage of it to manipulate him, often complimenting Klink on the brilliance of his plan.
Hoist by His Own Petard: Several of his schemes to rein Hogan in or to advance his career have blown up in his face. A prime example occurs in "Colonel Klink's Secret Weapon" when, after receiving a poor rating from the Inspector General, he brings in a stern new sergeant to discipline the prisoners. Unfortunately, the sergeant starts disciplining him and makes Klink look bad to advance his own career. He also knows all the regulations and has the family connections to get away with everything. Klink ends up begging Hogan for help in getting rid of him.
Impoverished Patrician: Implied to be this trope. It is mentioned that he comes from an old Prussian family and it is also stated that he has money troubles.
Not So Different: Klink's views on Hogan and himself. Hogan cringes at the thought.
Klink: Perhaps had we met at another time, another place, we might have even become friends. [Hogan winces]
Not-So-Harmless Villain: Sometimes Klink can be competent, or at least has the air of competence. One genuine example is in "Will the Real Adolf Please Stand Up?" where he's unfazed by Hogan's ploy, calls it out as a pack of lies, and tightens security further. Both Hogan and Schultz are caught off-guard. Another is in "A Man's Best Friend Is Not his Dog," where he and Schultz manage to keep Hogan on his toes for the majority of the episode.
Obfuscating Stupidity: It's implied a couple of times that Klink is actually smarter than he looks and acts and is willingly turning a blind eye to Hogan's antics. In one episode, Burkhalter brings radio detection equipment into the camp to locate a suspected resistance radio. As soon as he gets a chance Klink pulls Schultz aside and tells him to run to Hogan's barracks and turn off that radio.
Old Soldier: Klink is a career soldier. He served in the First World War, first in the Imperial German Army, and later in the newly formed Luftwaffe despite a lifelong fear of flying. He also stayed in the military in the two decades between the wars.
Punny Name: His name is a pun on "clink," a slang word for a prison. Lampshaded by Hogan once:
Hogan: Outside of Stalag 13, "Klink" means two glasses have just been knocked together!
Small Name, Big Ego: Klink's vanity often made him an easy mark for Hogan, who continually massaged Klink's massive ego to manipulate his decisions in ways which would benefit the prisoners and the Allies.
Sycophantic Servant: He does this to pretty much every officer that walks in the door, General Burkhalter especially. They all tend to find it annoying.
Throw the Dog a Bone: Usually Klink is lucky if he just manages to keep his job, and escape a date with the firing squad, after one of Hogan's little escapades. But there is one time that Hogan accidentally hooks him up with a beautiful widowed baroness.
Ultimate Job Security: If it wasn't for the direct intervention of Hogan and his men on many occasions, Colonel Klink would probably be at the Russian Front. Apparently, he's not a bad administrator, but he has no real control over his camp (which is exactly why the heroes give him the ultimate job security in the first place).
Yes-Man: Klink majored in brown nosing, but usually it only serves to dig him deeper into the mess.
0% Approval Rating: If "The Kommandant Dies At Dawn" is any indication, his own men don't seem to like him any more than his prisoners do.
Sergeant Hans Schultz
Played by John Banner
Hauptfeldwebel (Senior Master Sergeant) Hans Georg Schultz, serial number 23781 is Klink's bumbling, highly unmilitary 300-pound Sergeant of the Guard. Schultz is a basically good-hearted man who, when confronted by evidence of the prisoners' covert activities, will simply look the other way, repeating "I hear NUSSINK, I see NUSSINK, I know NUSSINK!" (or, more commonly as the series went on, simply "I see NUSSINK–NUSSINK!") to avoid being blamed for allowing things to have gotten as far as they already had—which might see him given a one-way trip to the Eastern Front.
Brilliant, but Lazy: When he actually puts his mind to something the results can be rather impressive. In one episode the heroes contrive to put Schultz in charge of the camp, but when he proves frighteningly competent at the job Hogan works to return everything to the status quo.
Between wars he built a hugely successful toy company, and reinlisted for lack of something better to do when his factory was taken over for the war effort.
Bumbling Sidekick: Though he's probably actually not as bumbling as Col. Klink. Klink is at least trying to be a competent German soldier whereas Schultz often is deliberately oblivious to what Hogan's crew is up to when he isn't actively participating in their schemes.
Cannot Keep a Secret: Played with. He can't keep German military secrets from Hogan and the boys. However, he's very good at keeping what really goes on at the camp away from Klink and other superior officers.
Friendly Enemy: Well, he's a German soldier and Hogan and his crew are Allied soldiers, but they do seem to consider each other friends. If nothing else, he respects Hogan for saving his can so many times.
Food As Bribe: This is how LeBeau usually gets him to look the other way.
Gentle Giant: He's a big guy. He's also a teddy bear, and it's clear the Heroes follow his orders not out of fear or respect but because he covers for them.
Genre Savvy: On occasion. He's smart enough to realize when Hogan is playing Klink. He just doesn't want to know why.
Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: He is technically one of the bad guys. Actually, he's supposed to be Klink's dragon. Sometimes it's difficult to remember whom he works for.
Schultz: Sometimes, I have to work for our side!
Lovable Coward: He really just wants to keep things nice and quiet and peaceful on his shift and definitely doesn't want to get involved in anything that might look like trouble. Given who he has to work for you really can't blame him either. He's also petrified of the idea of being sent to the front lines. He doesn't even keep his gun loaded.
Mildly Military: In addition to willfully ignoring military fitness standards, Schultz tends to be very laid back and at times disrespectful of superior officers, Klink in particular.
Minion with an F in Evil: He is willing to turn a blind eye to Hogan and his crew's antics. Also he made toys for children before the war.
Mistaken for Dying: A purposeful mixup of checkup patients once makes Klink think Schultz has a few days to live, when really he's just going on leave for the weekend.
Schultz: I wish you were going with me!
Klink: *pained* I probably deserved that...
Obfuscating Stupidity: He repeatedly states, "I know NUSSINK!" but in reality he's probably on to just about everything that goes on in Stalag 13. At one point, he stops Hogan's crew from pushing him too far on a deal.
Old Soldier: Apparently. He fought in WWI, and apparently repeatedly saved the life of a cherry lieutenant who went on to become a fearsome general. Nobody believes it at first.
Pity the Kidnapper: In the same vein as Klink. Probably applies to him even more though, considering how often the prisoners he is supposed to be watching drag him into their plots. All he wants is a nice quiet shift with no "monkey business."
Spanner in the Works: Schultz occasionally unintentionally meddles with Hogan's plans (usually by showing up with requests/orders when Hogan is on a tight schedule) but the best example of this is when he reveals Hogan's identity to Marya in their first encounter. This is what enables her to learn about Stalag 13 in the first place.
Tyrant Takes the Helm: You might be surprised at this but Stalag 13 is not a fun place to be when Schultz is in charge. Possibly because he knows what happens and that he's responsible for anything going wrong.
The So-Called Coward: Actually stood up to Gestapo agents and threw his weight around (while pretending to be a general) to protect several of Hogan's men. Being completely drunk at the time probably helped, though.
Ultimate Job Security: Schultz is thought to be incompetent to everyone who knows who he is and tends to be very lax around his superiors. The prisoners count him as an ally (he's in on their schemes though he wishes he wasn't) and have to pull strings to keep him around.
General der Infanterie Albert Hans "Hansi" Burkhalter is Klink's superior officer who frequently tires of Klink's babbling and incompetence, often telling him to "shut up" and threatening to send him to the Russian Front. Burkhalter is mystified by Stalag 13's perfect record, unable to make sense of it in combination with its Kommandant's frequently-evidenced incompetence. Burkhalter affects to live a Spartan existence like a good German officer, but in reality, he loves the good life, even in war. He is scared to death of Mrs. Burkhalter (calling her "the highest authority in Germany"), testifying to this several times during the series.
Bad Boss: He's pretty hard on Klink and seems to take pleasure in ruining Klink's plans, hopes and dreams.
Fat Bastard: Klink thinks so, calling him a nasty old tub of lard on one occasion. Unfortunately for Klink, Burkhalter was standing right behind him when he did so. Burkhalter promptly cancels Klink's leave and says:
Only Sane Man: He's typically one of the few Germans portrayed as competent. But he can be manipulated with a bit of effort all the same...
Orcus on His Throne: He wants to have as little to do with Stalag 13 and Colonel Klink as possible. It's also implied he likes living the good life more then he does his job as a Wehrmacht general.
Pet the Dog: He definitely cares a lot about his widowed sister. He wants to marry her off so that she isn't alone (even if it means becoming Klink's brother-in-law) and when she is taken hostage, he immediately orders Hochstetter to release an Underground prisoner in order to get her back, even threatening to call Himmler and get him to order Hochstetter to do it if he doesn't follow Burkhalter's orders.
Kriminalrat (Major) Wolfgang Hochstetter is a Gestapo officer and an ardent Nazi who never understands why Hogan is constantly allowed to barge into Klink's office at will. Hochstetter frequently demands of Klink "Who is this man?" or "What is this man doing here?!" with increasing stridency. He is also noted for the many times he shouts "Baah!" at Klink or Hogan after his multiple failures. Klink is justifiably afraid of him, but Burkhalter, who despises Hochstetter just as Klink does, is not.
Bluff The Eavesdropper: He once deliberately left the window to Klink's office open while saying out-loud some false information about a radar unit being down just to see if anyone would take the bait. Unfortunately for Hogan, LeBeau took it hook, line and sinker.
Cassandra Truth: He believes that Stalag 13 is at the center of all the sabotage in the area. He's right...he just can't prove it.
Oddly enough, he winds up on the other end of the Cassandra Truth in "Lady Chitterly's Lover". Lord Chitterly escapes from the tunnels and tells Klink about them, who then relates all of this info to Hochstetter...who doesn't believe a single word of it.
Catchphrase: What is this man doing here?!" and "Baah!" Also, (paraphrase) "I will surround this area with a ring of steel!"
Dangerously Genre Savvy: He's noticeably more competent and intelligent than most of the other Nazi officers Hogan has to deal with and he runs second, just behind Marya, in the number of times he has almost gotten Hogan and company killed.
Day of the Jackboot: After Hogan, Klink and the boys really piss him off concerning a new kamikaze version of the V2 rocket he has the Gestapo seize control of the camp. The next episode consists of Hogan trying to figure out a way to get the men he left in charge of the camp out of their hair.
Dragon-in-Chief: While technically lower-in-rank than Klink and Burkhalter he is a member of the SS which gives him power and authority above what his rank would indicate and when he shows up he is usually the one running the show and he is a much more dangerous threat to the boys than Klink and Burkhalter are.
The Dreaded: Klink is scared of him, for good reason. The local resistance and underground fear him. Hogan is wary of him. Hochstetter is not a man to be taken lightly.
Enraged By Idiocy: You can visibly watch Hochstetter's blood pressure go up when he has to deal with Klink and Schultz.
Everyone Is a Suspect: He has this mindset and views people who are not under his direct command or his immediate superiors with deep suspicion.
Majorly Awesome: From the bad guys' point of view. Klink and Burkhalter both outrank Hochstetter but act completely subservient to the man, though in Burkhalter's case, he allows Hochstetter to run amok only as long as it doesn't cause problems for him. As soon as he feels that Hochstetter has gone too far (or is at least not worth the headache) he pulls rank.
Meaningful Name: Hochstetter is German for "high stepper;" a reference to the Nazis "goose stepping" way of marching in formation.
The Neidermeyer: Just one of the reasons that Klink and Burkhalter hate him.
Straight Man: Hochstetter is not a funny man and is one of the few serious characters on the show; not to mention one of the few real, recurring threats to the main characters. That doesn't stop him from setting up a punchline every now and then.
Surrounded by Idiots: He doesn't exactly hold Klink, Schultz or the rest of the personnel at Stalag 13 in a very positive light. Granted, he has a legitimate reason for this.
Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Before playing Major Hochstetter, Howard Caine played a Colonel Feldkamp of the Gestapo in an earlier episode who was a dead-ringer in terms of looks, attitude and mannerisms to Major Hochstetter. However, Feldkamp was killed in the same episode in which he was introduced, "The Battle of Stalag 13".
You Look Familiar: Howard Caine played a couple of one-off German officers, the above Feldkamp and Major Keitel (commander of an anti-aircraft gun battery), before settling in as the recurring Major Hochstetter. And since he played them all almost exactly like Major Hochstetter, it can become a bit confusing.
Tyrant Takes the Helm: When he shows up he tends to assume control of all German forces in the camp and nearby areas. Naturally he runs everything with an iron fist.
Friendly Enemy: The "enemy" part comes from her being German and under Klink's employ.
Put on a Bus: After season 1, she is replaced by Hilda. Reportedly, Cynthia Lynn's husband convinced her to leave the show after he learned of her affair with Bob Crane.
Retcon: In the pilot, she knows about the tunnels, and actively participates in the operations (as the manicurist). In the series proper, she is never shown working with the heroes, only occasionally providing Hogan with information.
Group Captain (Colonel) Rodney Crittendon is a hopelessly incompetent British officer who crosses paths several times with Hogan and his crew. Crittendon believes that a POW's only focus should be escape. When first transferred to Stalag 13 from Stalag 18, Hogan posed a hypothetical question to Crittendon asking what he would do if he were aware the POWs were engaged in spying and sabotage. Crittendon replies that he would report them to the German authorities, thus preventing himself from being included in the official mission of the Stalag 13 POWs. He ends up finding out about their set-up, but still fouls up operations through a mix of bad luck and incompetence.
Born Lucky: Somehow. He may a Walking Disaster Area to everyone else, but he always comes out okay. Case in point, in "Crittendon's Commandos" Murphy's law in is full effect with the titular commandos getting captured and the heroes actually failing to get their intended target...yet Crittendon avoids capture by sheer luck and the guy they end up accidentally sending to England turns out to be the very guy he was sent to rescue in the first place!
Subverted in some cases, though. He just can't seem to pull off an escape.
Character Development: He started off as a completely incompetent and oblivious Miles Gloriosus; in his last episode he successfully helps Hogan and co. carry out a mission by impersonating an English traitor.
Cloud Cuckoo Lander: The infamous Crittendon Plan is to plant geraniums along airstrips so that pilots have something pleasant to look at when they land. Seriously.
Lawful Stupid: You saw that part about him telling Hogan he would have to inform the German authorities if he found out the prisoners were running a spy and sabotage ring because he was required to do so under the Geneva Convention, yes?
Lethally Stupid: He came close to blowing up the camp and once he almost caused Hogan to end up on a train rigged to blow.
The Load: Every time he shows up, with one exception, he weighs Hogan and the boys down.
Lord Error-Prone: Crittendon is so incompetent that Hogan feels the best place for him to serve the Allied war effort is in a German prisoner of war camp. Just not Stalag 13.
The Obi-Wannabe: He tries to act wise and take command from Colonel Hogan, but all he comes up with is an endless string of bad ideas and plans. His plan to assassinate a scientist involves a crossbow. And then progresses on to using high explosives. To kill one guy.
Oblivious To Hints: Hogan and crew often try first to subtly convince him to let them continue with their own plans. He doesn't take the hints.
Rules Lawyer: Especially evident during his introduction when he says he would turn the prisoners in if he found them conducting sabotage operations because that would violate the laws and customs of war.
Spanner in the Works: He manages to screw up Colonel Hogan's plans just about every time he shows up. To give one example, he drives a truck loaded with explosives Hogan's crew had rigged to blow back from the factory they parked it at, straight into camp, and parks it beside their barracks.
The Thing That Would Not Leave: If Crittendon appears, plans to get rid of him (or at least keep him as far away from the mission as possible) follow.
Tyrant Takes the Helm: He's incompetent but he's bossy and a strict disciplinarian. And unfortunately for the heroes, he outranks Hogan, which means they have to listen to him.
Marya is a Soviet (although she insists she's a White Russian) spy who works occasionally with Hogan, but whom he doesn't entirely trust. She often appears as the trusted assistant or lover of some high-ranking German officer or scientist. Her mission is often to either discredit or destroy said officer or scientist, as she notes that "Hitler can't be expected to kill all of his generals." Her schemes often come into conflict with Hogan's plans, but she always proves to be either faithful to the Allied cause or to have compatible causes of her own.
Abhorrent Admirer: Looking at her, she's doesn't seem so bad... but Hogan and, especially Klink don't exactly approve of her affections for them (mostly because both of them know that if Marya appears, trouble follows).
Complexity Addiction: To rival Hogan. Most of her plans involve getting the Heroes into trouble so they'll help her out in some bizarre way. Of course, Hogan says multiple times (as in just about every time she shows up) if she'd only asked instead of getting them backed into a corner, he'd have helped her anyway.
Dangerously Genre Savvy: Let's repeat the fact that she is the one character in the series to consistently get the better of Hogan. Also whenever she shows up, everybody dances to her tune whether they want to or not.
Decoy Damsel: All those poor German officers she hooks up with. They have no idea what they are getting themselves into. One does, and he still winds up played.
Indy Ploy: Her plans often center around purposefully getting Hogan and company into an unpleasant situation and then trusting that whatever wacky scheme they come up with to get out of the situation will benefit her cause as well, despite having no idea what they're specifically going to do.
Spanner in the Works: She's not averse to putting Hogan in a tight spot to accomplish her own goals. On the other hand, she never prevents Hogan from getting his job done as well.
Too Kinky to Torture: Hogan once has to tie her up and knock her out with the butt of his gun so it will look like she wasn't involved with the events. She's ecstatic about it and Hogan can't bring himself to do it, so he gives her the gun and tells her to knock herself out. She does it with great eagerness.
The Vamp: All the German generals she hooks up with wind up dead or Allied prisoners.
Women Are Wiser: The most prominent female character in the show is also (probably) the most intelligent and cunning.
Who Needs Enemies?: Marya actually came closer than the Germans to getting Hogan killed a couple of times. Mainly because she straight-up told a few German generals about Hogan's activities.
Played by Arlene Martel
A member of the French Resistance. Her real name is Marie Louise Monet.
Action Girl: She is a major operative in the Underground.