Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets / YMMV

Angst? What Angst?: During their mission to retrieve the converter at the beginning of the movie, Valerian and Laureline's whole team dies. This includes men that are shown to be friendly and whom they seem to know personally. Cooper, in particular, dies specifically to save Valerian. Their reaction a few seconds later? Laureline complaining that her dress is ruined. The both of them don't even seem mildly upset and it's never mentioned again. Kinda makes the heroine's tearful compassion for the Pearls later on a little hard to believe.
Best Known for the Fanservice: Yeah, this film has a striptease in which Rihanna cycles through a bunch of fetish costumes. Why do you ask?
Captain Obvious Reveal: The aloof general with his own loyal squad of cycloptic killbots is, in fact, the Big Bad. Although the film doesn't hide this for too long, as we see him torturing a captive relatively early on. Even his own men are openly wary of him and show not the smallest bit of surprise when he's revealed to them as a baddie. It would probably be less obvious if there was more than one likely candidate responsible for the destruction of the Pearls' homeworld.
Complete Monster: Commander Arün Filitt is a brutal Insane Admiral who, years ago, launched doomsday weapons to win a battle despite knowing it could destroy a planet with a sapient, albeit primitive, species known as the Pearls. Filitt sealed the records, fearing embarrassment, while murdering those who might know the truth personally. Years later, when the survivors of the species attempt to bring him to justice, Filitt has one captured and brutally tortured, before ordering him disposed of. When called to account for his actions, Filitt instructs his personal robot guard to murder even other humans and attempts to use a bomb to annihilate the remaining Pearls, caring nothing for those he's tried to destroy in his quest for glory.
Critical Dissonance: While critics haven't been too kind to the movie, the film has gained a cult following.
Ensemble Dark Horse:
- Bubble, unsurprisingly, is a highlight to many viewers thanks to her exotic dance sequence with Valerian and the surprisingly good acting chops of her actress.
- Bridge Bunny Sergeant Neza has a fair amount of fans for being a Nice Guy who gets an impressive action scene in the climax.
Esoteric Happy Ending: The film presents the Pearls' escape on their ship, which recreates their paradise planet's setting, as a happy ending. However, they'll be spending the rest of their days clinging to a flawed illusion of their former lifestyle. They can't fish for pearls anymore, and their converter might be the only one left in existence, so they will eventually run out of pearls to power their world. They'll need to continue maintaining their spacecraft, so they won't even be able to live in their illusory beach setting all the time. And while their civilization used to number more than 6 million, they now only have a few city blocks' worth of space for their entire civilization.
Fandom Rivalry:
- The Germans Love David Hasselhoff situation of the movie has generated a bit of conflict between European Valerian fans and American fans of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) in particular, being another quirky Space Opera with psychedelic visuals.
- Also with Star Wars fans, as some Valerian fans think George Lucas ripped off the comic the movie is based on. Then again, a fair number of Star Wars fans also think he ripped off the comic. George Lucas has a bit of a memetic reputation for ripping off just about everything.
Germans Love David Hasselhoff: The film flopped in the United States and Canada, only making 40 of its $177 million dollar production cost in its first month. However, it performed much better in the international market, making $184 million. It was the most popular film in China for an entire month.
Harsher in Hindsight: After the spate of Hollywood sexual harassment controversies in 2017, it's much easier to see Valerian and Laureline's romantic interactions as inappropriate given that Valerian is Laureline's commanding officer. Even more cringe-inducing now that Luc Besson himself has been accused of sexual assault by several women (and the Princess of the Pearls is played by his fiancée, to boot).
Narm:
- A couple of scenes meant to be completely serious or touching involve a cartoony blue mollusk with the voice of Rihanna. It's incredibly odd, if not unintentionally funny.
- The aforementioned psychic jellyfish scene is hard to take seriously if you've played Pokémon Sun and Moon.
- When Laureline brings up why she doesn't want to marry Valerian in the climactic scene, it's supposed to touch the heartstrings, but it comes across as a fairly transparent I Have Boobs, You Must Obey! move that ruins the whole effect and makes "Love has no rules" snickerworthy.
Narm Charm: It's a film that goes from seriousness to slapstick at the drop of a hat, plays cheesy retro space opera morals about war and colonialism and the Power of Love with a wholehearted straight face, and requires a bit of the MST3K Mantra to really enjoy. In other words, a Spiritual Successor to The Fifth Element.
Nightmare Fuel:
- The destruction of planet Mul.
- The enormous Bromosaurs lurking in the aquatic depths of Alpha.
  Bob: These are males.
  Laureline: How can you tell?
  Bob: Females are much bigger.
- Some of the weapons in the film are positively skin-crawling, like the gun that allows you to take control of another person with a single shot.
One-Scene Wonder:
- The Ugly Cute little puffy-cheeked alien kid Valerian runs into at Big Market. He upsets it, before realizing his mistake.
- Bob the Space Pirate, who helps Laureline retrieve a Jellyfish to help her find Valerian.
- Ethan Hawke's brief turn as a sleazy cowboy pimp in Alpha's red light district.
- Guide Thaziit from the Big Market. Eric Lampaert looks like he's having the time of his life.
Once Original, Now Overdone: When adapting a space opera comic which started in 1967, and which was very original and influential in its day, it's going to be hard to not have bits that feel incredibly similar to subsequent huge sci-fi franchises. The colorful aesthetic was obviously an influence on Besson's earlier The Fifth Element, and even the two leads' Belligerent Sexual Tension really brings to mind Han and Leia.
Questionable Casting:
- Pretty much every critic had this reaction to the casting of Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne as the two leads. The results were just as mixed as the film itself: Delevingne earned some praise for her work, especially when you compare the scathing responses she got for her performance in Suicide Squad (2016), but DeHaan was almost universally seen as miscast. Another common complaint was that the pair looked too much like siblings to believe as a couple.
- Casting non-actor Rihanna as the galaxy's greatest actor was a curious choice, especially when they force her to deliver dramatic monologues that highlight her wooden delivery.
Signature Scene:
- The opening showing how Alpha City came to be, starting off as a simple human space station and then becoming the sprawling metropolis it is. All while set to David Bowie's "Space Oddity." Many people and even those who hated the movie agreed that it was the best scene in the movie.
- Bubble's shapeshifting burlesque dance. Even critics who didn't like the film admitted that scene was a highlight of the movie.
- Valerian's shootout in Big Market is also frequently praised, as it zips back and forth between two dimensions with dozens of Starfish Aliens in the scene at any one time.
So Okay, It's Average: The general consensus seems to be that the film is visually stunning but doesn't do anything particularly remarkable outside of that. Critics also note that the original comic was fresh, inventive, and inspirational... in the seventies.
Special Effect Failure: Bubble's favorite form during her dance seems to be that of a tall white body double who looks absolutely nothing like Rihanna.
Tear Jerker:
- The opening scene where the Pearls' planet is destroyed and the Princess is unable to make it into the locked shelter. Her parents are both crying and banging on the door as it happens.
- The death of Bubble, who is revealed to have been mortally wounded, after she, Valerian, and Laureline escape the Bou Le Bafot. She can't even get a funeral, either, as she crumbles to dust in a trash heap.
They Wasted a Perfectly Good Character: Bubble, an alien shapeshifter played by Rihanna, whose true form is a cute and goofy cloud-like thing. She is shown to have the ability to read anyone's brain with her tendrils and then turn into whoever they know, but all she does in the film is to make a sexy show with instant costume changes (in her human form obviously) and then turn into a living disguise for Valerian, when he has to save Laureline from a Wacky Wayside Tribe that has pretty much nothing to do with the main plot. And after that part ends she is fatally wounded, dies and crumbles into dust.
The Un-Twist: Commander Filitt is so Obviously Evil that many people were convinced they were a Red Herring for the real villain. Nope, turns out that it was exactly who everyone thought it was.
Spiritual Successor: To The Fifth Element. In fact, for the longest time, Luc Besson felt that Element was the closest he'd come to making an adaptation of the comics but thanks to the advances in movie-making tech with Avatar, it was enough to convince him to fulfill his dreams.
Vanilla Protagonist: The. Biggest. Criticism. Of. The. Movie. While likely an attempt at depicting Valerian and Laureline as unflappable Experienced Protagonists, it instead made them come off as painfully uncharismatic and un-immersive. They basically feel like they were plucked from a completely different movie, not matching the fun campy energy the rest of the story is going for. While the titular city itself is a fascinating setting, the leads seem so uninterested in the world around them that it feels difficult to become invested in it. If our heroes don't care, why should we?
Visual Effects of Awesome: Pretty much everyone, even the harshest of critics, agrees that the visuals are killer.

YMMV / Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

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