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Recap / Disenchantment - S1 E5: "Faster, Princess! Kill! Kill!"

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Bean's first cold blooded kill.

"That's my girl."
King Zog

Fed up with Bean after her wild house party gone horribly wrong, Zog sends Bean to a convent to work as a nun. Predictably, she neither fits in nor is able to do anything properly. The nuns eventually kick her out back to the castle.

Zog, angered and fed up, kicks Bean out of the castle, forcing her to get a job before he will even consider letting her return home. Bean manages to find Bunty's house and move in with her while looking for a job to do, to prove her independency, while Elfo is happy being treated as a baby by Bunty. After failing in a plethora of different jobs, Stan, Bunty's husband, invites her to work with him since he lost his apprentice. He turns out to be an executioner and torturer for the kingdom, and Bean's indecisiveness is able to torture a prisoner enough that Stan finds her a natural. A cackling witch is brought down to the dungeon, accused to be guilty of various missing people in the woods and will be executed.


Bunty still treats Elfo as a little baby, but he starts getting fed up with it when Bunty takes things too far.

Bean tries bonding with the witch, seeing a bit of herself on the old woman. Stan throws out his back and is unable to kill Gwen, so Bean is promoted to executioner and has to be the one to execute the witch. Elfo runs away from Bunty, finally fed up with being treated as a baby and goes to the Enchanted Forest alone. Bean can't bring herself to execute Gwen both due to being extremely nervous and believing there might be more to the witch than just being a cackling Wicked Witch. She is ridiculed by her entire kingdom and decides she may not be suited to live in a city. She leaves Dreamland with Luci and they find out they're on Elfo's trail on the forest.

Meanwhile, Elfo is on the forest and finds a gingerbread house with two siblings in it: Hansel and Gretel, who seem to be up to something sinister and want to eat him. When he falls asleep, they put him on the oven to roast. Bean and Luci get to the house and are offered some food by Hansel and Gretel. Bean quickly realizes what is going on after eating and runs to save Elfo, starting to fight against Hansel and Gretel while Luci saves Elfo.


Bean gets a candy axe, and hunts down Hansel and Gretel through the gingerbread house full of traps. She finally gets to the basement full of human remains of their previous victims. They reveal that they are cannibalistic serial killers, and that they cursed the Witch, who was just an innocent old lady who took them in. Bean quickly kills them, which Luci praises her for. The curse on the Witch is quickly broken.

Gwen the Witch is freed from the curse and absolved of her false charges, she goes off to find her sister that was in the house. Zog awards himself a medal for outstanding parenting to Bean's success. Bean hugs her father who says he is proud of her and threatens to rip his spinal chord if he mentions her buck teeth again, to which he proudly says "That's my girl".


  • Adaptational Heroism: In this version of Hansel and Gretel, the Witch (named Gwen here) is actually a good person. She adopted Hansel and Gretel after their parents died. However...
  • Adaptational Villainy: Hansel and Gretel killed and ate their own parents; then after Gwen adopted them, they cursed her to laugh instead of speak, tied up Gwen and her sister and held them hostage, and turned her gingerbread house into a slaughterhouse, where they murder and eat anyone who passes by.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Stan shows off his various torture devices to Bean, including such classics as the Iron Maiden. But the last one he points to? The Book of Golf Jokes.
  • Bait-and-Switch:
    • When Bean sits down for lunch with Hansel and Gretel, she bites into a piece of "turkey" leg that turns out to be a person's leg, and immediately jumps to the horrific conclusion that she was served Elfo; but Gretel replies that elf is "dessert meat", and that Elfo is still cooking in the oven. It doesn't make the whole situation any less disgusting though.
    • After defeating Hansel and Gretel, it looks like Zog is going to give Bean some kind of award or praise for her heroic actions... nope, he praises himself for his hands-off parenting skills.
  • Black Comedy Animal Cruelty: Read about the pet shop incident described below under Epic Fail.
  • Black Comedy Cannibalism: Hansel and Gretel make more than a few sick jokes hinting at their taste for human flesh.
  • Brick Joke: Luci says that Zog called Bean a "worthless bucktooth degenerate", which he didn't. At the end of the episode, Zog does indeed says that Bean was that in those exact words.
  • Change the Uncomfortable Subject: After being freed, Gwen declares she's going to go back to her sister, who lived in the attic of her gingerbread house. Which Bean blew up. Everyone suggests she go do something else instead (fortunately, it later turns out her sister is still alive).
  • Chekhov's Gunman: When Pendergast brings Gwen in, he declares she's responsible for murders going back to the Hansel and Gretel cold case. That becomes important later.
  • Cool and Unusual Punishment:
    • Among the many torture implements available is a very large Book of Golf Jokes. Luci decides to read a few of them, and the guy on the rack groans in pain.
    • Bean does this accidentally, trying to skip actually torturing someone. She offers to cook the guy a last meal, but passes and dithers on every option just because she can't or won't cook them, driving him to screaming agony, which her boss mistakes for actual torture.
  • A Day in the Limelight: Downplayed, but the episode explores the home life of Bean's handmaiden Bunty and her husband, Zog's executioner Stan.
  • Dangerous Backswing: While Bean is trapped in the dark cellar of Hansel's and Gretel's gingerbread house of horrors, she faces Hansel who advances on her with a pitchfork, while Gretel is creeping up behind her back unseen. As Bean swings a double-bladed axe over her head, intending to strike at Hansel, she accidentally kills Gretel by hitting her in the head, then strikes at Hansel, killing him too.
  • Ear Worm: Bean mutters that the nuns' holy chant is going to get stuck in her head.
  • Epic Fail: Bean's every attempt at a job ends miserably.
    • When she tries working as a shepherd, she uses a wolf call, scaring all the sheep into running off a cliff.
    • As a lighthouse keeper, she doesn't even bother pointing the light out to sea, resulting in a dozen ships running aground.
    • She tries out being a butcher. She compliments herself on her skills... only to be informed by the owner that this isn't a slaughterhouse, this is a pet shop.
    • When Stan hires Bean as an apprentice executioner, Bean is way too reluctant to actually swing down the axe and kill the Witch, which she gets mocked for.
  • Fractured Fairy Tale: The episode's plot ties Hansel and Gretel in knots, turning it into a darkly comedic parody where the roles of Hansel and Gretel are inverted with that of the Witch.
  • Freeze-Frame Bonus: Blink and you'll miss it, but one of the skulls in Hansel and Gretel's butchering room has three eye holes, implying some relation to Odval.
  • Gaining the Will to Kill: While it's mentioned that Bean has already killed several people (i.e. Sven and the Land Vikings from the previous episode), she's still very squeamish at the idea of executing people in cold blood, until she kills Hansel and Gretel in self defense.
  • Getting Crap Past the Radar: Bunty mistakenly yells at Bean, calling her a strumpet, whom she'd apparently previously told to stay away from her house. "Strumpet" being another word for someone who works in The Oldest Profession.
  • Gingerbread House: Hansel and Gretel live in a house made of candy, which originally belonged to the Witch until they stole it from her. Unsurprisingly, it's a front for Hansel and Gretel to commit murders and cook their victims into food.
  • Green-Eyed Monster: When Bean comments she didn't get much sleep in the nunnery, on account of her "bed" being a granite slab, another nun angrily asks why she gets granite, and a different one complains that princesses get the "good" slabs.
  • High-Pressure Emotion: Zog tries to invoke this via creating steam from his ears, using pellets Sorcerio created and mixed with vinegar in his ears. invokedIt doesn't work until Bean starts to leave, much to his frustration.
  • Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Stan and Bunty make their children work, and even tell a newborn that if it can cry, it can work.
  • I Ate WHAT?!: While at Hansel and Gretel's house, Bean is horrified to learn she's not eating a "turkey leg", but a person's leg. Luci, meanwhile, keeps eating, and if anything seems to enjoy it more for finding out it's (apparently though not actually) Elfo.
  • Insistent Terminology: It's Hansel and Gretel, not Gretel and Hansel!
  • Jerkass Has a Point: Zog is understandably angry at Bean for the wild party she threw while he was away during the previous episode, especially since Vikings used it to invade and try to take over Dreamland. Though in all fairness, since his own reckless behavior drives Bean up a wall, it’s no wonder she doesn’t feel the need to adhere to him.
  • Locked Away in a Monastery: King Zog tries to send off Bean to a convent of nuns to punish her for the last episode's party. Unsurprisingly, a promiscuous sinner like Bean has trouble fitting in with a bunch of pious nuns. When the nuns see Luci's tail peeking out from under her robes, they kick her out and send her back home.
  • Never Heard That One Before: Stan makes a beheading joke when he gives Bean a job as an executioner, and tells her that she'll hear the rest in the first fifteen minutes. "Then it's basically just human tragedy."
  • Not Helping Your Case:
    • Bean is desperate for any kind of reason to not execute Gwen for her alleged crimes, but Gwen won't speak in her defense or indeed do anything but cackle madly. It eventually turns out that she's under a curse that prevents her from speaking.
    • Elfo insists he isn't a baby, he's a toddler.
  • Orphaned Etymology: Hansel and Gretel refer to themselves as Germans, in a fantasy setting where Germany (or any other real country) isn't even confirmed to exist.
  • Public Execution: When Stan's back gives out, he gives Bean the task of beheading Gwen the witch in the town square. Despite the bloodthirst of the entire crowd, Bean ultimately can't bring herself to slaughter a harmless (and as it later turns out, completely innocent) old lady.
  • Sherlock Scan: Luci is able to work out what became of Elfo in the woods by casual observation. Though the part about one his shoes being stolen by a squirrel is easy enough when the squirrel's right in front of him.
    Luci: Judging by these tongue marks, this window has been recently licked by an elf.
  • So Proud of You: Zog almost does this, but says since he knows Bean doesn't care about that kind of thing, he won't.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Elfo not only doesn't suspect the blatantly shifty Hansel and Gretel, he gorges on their sleep-powder dosed candy, lies down in a pan and butters himself.
  • To the Pain: At the end of the episode, Bean whispers to Zog that if he ever mentions her buck teeth again, she'll use them to rip out his spinal chord.
  • Unflinching Walk: Bean, Luci, and Elfo pull one out when walking away from the exploding gingerbread house.
  • Uniformity Exception: Among the nuns, Bean is the only one wearing blue robes, instead of everyone else's green.


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