Podcast / All Fantasy Everything

"SHACLACKITTY!"

—End of episode sign-off

All Fantasy Everything is a podcast hosted by Emmy-winning comedian Ian Karmel, where he and a rotating cast of fellow comedians square off in attempting to draft their ultimate fantasy team. However, unlike traditional drafts, they are not limited to sports. Instead, as the name implies, the topics can be literally anything, ranging from Holidays to casual dining restaurants to the cast of the 1994 film Airheads. Needless to say, the picks can often get extremely bizarre, and the comedic talent in the room leads to inevitable riffing off each other and Corpsing aplenty.

Although the cast varies each week, generally you can find Karmel with one or both of the two most prominent guests, Sean Jordan and David Gborie, with close friends Shane "Sampler Platter" Torres and Zak Toscani also making frequent appearances.

The podcast airs every Thursday, and fans are encouraged to submit their own drafts as well as suggestions for future episodes.

Also, as a bit of fun, this very page is discussed at the beginning of Episode 62: Day Off!

Tropes:

• Action Pet: Exaggerated in Animal Fight, with the crew drafting a small army of animals to fight for them.
• Alcohol-Induced Idiocy: Many of the stories told on the podcast result from this. In addition, the episode Stuff To Do When You're Drunk actively encourages these.
• Ambiguously Jewish: Subverted with Ian. He mentions that he's explicitly Jewish (100%, Bar Mitzvahed and everything) pretty much Once an Episode, yet he identifies as agnostic.
• Ascended Extra: While not an "extra", super-producer Marissa originally had an almost entirely behind-the-scenes role, but has now become one of the gang and will typically draft one pick at the end of each episode.
• As You Know: The cast will jokingly feign ignorance to allow for explanations of certain things, such as how a serpentine draft works, or the fact that Ian is Jewish and Sean is from South Dakota.
• Badass Crew: Done in several episodes, the most notable of which being Entourages and People You'd Want On Your Side Of A Fight.
• Beware the Silly Ones:
  • Not only is Sean a comedian, he's also a 2nd Degree Black Belt in Taekwondo.
  • Also may be true of Shane, if his claims of being a Golden Gloves Boxer are to be believed.
• Brief Accent Imitation:
  • Crops up on occasion. Most often is Ian's "punk voice", where he sings stereotypical punk songs in a voice reminiscent of Tom Delonge.
  • Became a running gag in Movie Quotes, with Ian and the crew riffing off of the Staples Center announcer's oddly creepy pronunciation of "Laker Girrrrrrlllllzzzzz..."
• Chekhov's Gun: Referenced by name by Ian during the Day Off episode, in regards to Zak's day off being set in 2009, allowing the crew to see a Kanye recording.
• Couch Gag:
  • Starting around episode 10 or so, each one begins with Ian giving a drawn-out, often irrelevant intro describing the podcast.
    Ian: "Welcome back to All Fantasy Everything, The podcast that reaches into a velvet bag of cosmic dust, pools some in the palm of it's hand, draws in a deep breath, and then puffs out a gentle breath; spreading the cosmic dust into the air where it twinkles and shimmers and glitters; and as you try to focus on one of them, your eye is pulled into it, as though it had it's own gravitational field, and as your pupil dialates and you begin to see more and more of what was in that speck of cosmic dust you begin to realize that in there is everything that has ever been and ever will be and ever is right now and we look at that speck and say why don't we draft some of that stuff??"
  • Each draft also begins with Sean giving a bizarre, confusing explanation of what a serpentine draft is.
• Didn't See That Coming:
  • The collective reactions of everyone when Zak selected, as the final member of his entourage, a Komodo Dragon. Or, more accurately, a Kimono Dragon.
  • Also Sean's pick of The eclipse for 2017 Pop Culture.
• Disorganized Outline Speech: Many of David's picks can appear this way, as he enjoys telling stories to provide context for his picks. This is not a bad thing, as they're often hilarious.
• Drink-Based Characterization: David's is Cutty Sark whisky, as he jokes that he's trying to work his way into a sponsorship deal. Was expanded upon in the live episode Cocktails, with the gang choosing their cocktails of choice. Hilariously, as of November 2017, a fan had edited Cutty Sark's wikipedia page to reflect this.
• Epic Fail: During a trip to the batting cages, Zak somehow managed to hit 0 out of 30.
• Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!: Happens to Sean during the infamous "Caution to the wind" incident, as he is trying to explain his point, then promptly panics when he realizes that the rest of the crew is correct.
• Fan Community Nickname: All Family Everything.
• Felony Misdemeanor: The entire point of the Pet Peeves episode.
• Formula-Breaking Episode: Episode 59, rather than being a draft, is a Mailbag episode where Ian, Sean, and David answer fan's questions.
• Gamer Girl: Marissa is the most well-versed in video games of the group, particular with Overwatch and Beat Saber, leading to Ian and the gang consulting her frequently on gaming matters.
• Gang Initiation Fight: Sean was apparently in one, much to the bewilderment of everyone else.
• Guilty Pleasure: In Things That Are Good Actually, attempts are made to justify certain things typically seen as a guilty pleasure (such as ska or Dane Cook.) Particularly, everyone is heavily defensive of Applebee's.
• Insistent Terminology:
  • Anytime a friend of the crew's is mentioned (or they refer to something they like,) it will always be followed by a muttered "Friend of the podcast." (Except Mike Mulloy, who is "enemy of the podcast.")
  • Also, whenever one of the cast's mother is mentioned, they are referred to as "Saint _____." Seen most often with "Saint Sue Karmel."
  • Marissa is nearly always referred to as "super-producer."
• Manchild: While Sean is not actually one, the crew will often joke that his picks in drafts can make him sound like one. His hatred of vegetables is a Running Gag, and his Green Room in the Riders episode notably resembles a frathouse.
• Meet Cute: Discussed during the Stuff To Do When You're Drunk episode, with the implausible meet-cute stories seen in romantic comedy films described as more believable when you're drunk.
• Mondegreen Gag:
  • Sean Jordan is guilty of these several times. Namely, in Summer Jams he believes the phrase "caution to the wind" is "cosh into the wind", sending the rest of the cast into hysterics and creating a major Never Live It Down Moment.
    Sean: "I'm gonna need an exact count of how many people listen to this podcast..."
    David: "This is the best shit ever!"
  • Other examples include Sean's confusion of jazz singer Thelonious Monk with "Felonious Monk", and Zak's confusion of Komodo Dragon with Kimono Dragon.
• Moose and Maple Syrup:
  • Subverted with the super-producer Marissa. While she never says or does anything that would label her as excessively Canadian, Ian will frequently consult her on any and all things Canada. They finally did an entire episode drafting Canadians in August 2018.
  • Played with in Talk Show:
    Ian: "You moose-riding, better-education-having..."
• No, Except Yes: At one point, the gang repeatedly commented that while they would NEVER encourage someone to cut off Shane's ponytail ("Don't do it!")...there may have been a bounty on it.
• Non-Indicative Name: One of Ian's favorite jokes is how his name doesn't really match him as a person, and that it instead invokes "a whimsical British Candy store." However, he also notes that his middle name, George, fits him perfectly.
• Noodle Incident: Sean has made several offhand references to having been beaten into a gang, which is finally discussed during 2017 Pop Culture.
• Pet the Dog: Sean was apparently a bit of a bully when he was younger, though at one point left a kid alone because, in his words, "You got heart." This also lead to a fantastic running gag of everyone referring to his picks as having "hort."
• Phrase Catcher: David will frequently let loose an exasperated "Goddammit, Sean!" whenever Sean flubs a word or does something unusual.
• Picky Eater: As revealed in Things You Wish You Were Into, Sean is this with vegetables.
• Refuge in Audacity: Done as literally as possible in the Countries To Flee To episode. Ian names Italy as the first place he'd go if he had to flee the US. If the heat followed him to Italy and he was forced to leave, where would he go? Deeper into Italy, to The Vatican.
• Repeating So the Audience Can Hear:
  • Played with. Whenever someone in the cast gets particularly riled up, everyone else will exaggeratedly narrate what they're "seeing" in the studio. For example, from the One Word Movies episode:
    David: "I'm gonna tell you right now...you fucked up. When you hear my next pick, you're gonna be so upset."
    Sean: "Well, you wanna put your shirt back on and talk about it like a gentleman?"
    Ian: David's doing pushups...he's got a copy of the Koran in the original Arabic...
  • Mentioned in What To Do With A Billion Dollars, as the guys discuss the comedic potential of having extremely weird phone conversations in public.
    David: "I can get a Python for half that price!"
    Sean: "You did what to Christian Slater?!
• Running Gag: Several.
  • The above-mentioned long intros.
  • Whenever a snippet of a song is sung, Ian will quickly assure the audience that the artist is not there, and that it was only one of them doing a (usually poor) impression. Also does extend to impressions in general, due to the above-mentioned Brief Accent Imitation moments.
  • Individual episodes will often have their own gags, such as "You got hort" in the 2017 Pop Culture draft.
  • During the above mentioned "put your shirt back on" style gags, repeated references have been made to the gang owning trained, hostile falcons.
• Satiating Sandwich: Done twice, in both Sandwiches and A Sandwich (with the cast drafting ingredients.) YMMV on how satiating the sandwiches created in the latter are, however.
• Seinfeldian Conversation: Can happen when the cast gets sidetracked, particularly before the draft begins, and often resulting in riffing and goofy stories.
• Serious Business: The Draft can easily become this, with different members of the crew strategizing and changing their lists on the fly (or, as they call it, "playin' jazz.")
• Shamu Fu: During the Day Off episode, Sean mentions how he would weaponize crab legs in a food fight to create impromptu nunchuks.
• "Shaggy Dog" Story: During the A Sandwich episode, Ian tells a roughly 5-minute, emotionally-driven story about a young farmhand and his horse, only to establish exactly how much apple butter is needed for the ideal sandwich. Doubles as an Overly Long Gag.
• Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace: Mentioned by David in the Day Off episode as something he'd want to do, namely in order to help out a friend.
• Special Guest: One of the first episodes, Candy, featured Jon Cryer of Two and a Half Men and Pretty in Pink fame. Ian later implies that this may have been an example of Early-Installment Weirdness, as he mentions during the A Sandwich episode how bizarre it was to have him as a guest.
• Super Villain Lair: Honestly what the cast wants to do with most of the money in What To Do With A Billion Dollars.
• Too Kinky to Torture: Guest Sean O'Connor inverts this in Stuff You Wish You Were Into, noting that he bruises too easily to like painful sex fetishes.
• Trademark Favorite Food: The cast loves Taco Bell, to the point that they dedicated an entire episode to it.
• Whole-Plot Reference: Day Off is this to Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
• Verbal Tic: Sean frequently uses the word "buck", but has also expressed horror that the word "bro" is becoming this for him as well.