Funny / The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson

• 1965: Supposedly, the longest continual laughter in live TV goes to a Carson Tonight episode. His guest was actor/singer Ed Ames, who at the time was starring as Mingo on Daniel Boone and had claimed that in the course of his work, he'd learned how to throw a tomahawk. Carson produced a cowboy outline on a board, and Ames lobbed the tomahawk at it. It hit the board successfully, but slammed in right at the figure's crotch, starting the thunderous laughter. When the laughing began to die down, Carson quipped "I didn't even know you were Jewish!", starting it all up again. (Even funnier was Carson's follow-up remark: "Welcome to Frontier Bris!") The crowner, however, came after the laughter from that finally started to taper off, and Ames asked Carson if he wanted to try throwing the tomahawk. Carson looked at Ames, then at the cowboy outline, then back at Ames, and said "I can't hurt him any worse than you did!"
• 1968: The Dragnet parody with Carson and Jack Webb. "Clean copper clappers."
• 1969: George Gobel's appearance, when he finds himself in the impossible position of having to follow Bob Hope and Dean Martin. ("Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?") Of course, the best part of that interview was how Dean Martin kept discreetly tapping his cigarette ashes into Gobel's drink!
• 1979: The day before Thanksgiving, Johnny talked with Doc Severinsen about their respective plans for the holiday. Before long the two of them had each other, and the audience, in stitches.
  Doc: I suppose you'll be home with the family, having turkey... (Johnny laughs hard) Just a typical American family.
  Johnny: (a bit later) Look, if you want to c- if you really feel badly, now I feel so terrible that you're gonna be alone. Would you...
  Doc: I didn't say I was gonna be alone. (Johnny laughs)
  Johnny: You just said you ain't gonna eat no turkey!
  Doc: That's right.
  Johnny: You can come over, th- would you like to come to the house?
  Doc: This is the first time you've ever asked me.
  Johnny: Well, you made me feel so guilty!
  Doc: I mean, when you ask an employee, in front of fifteen million people, "Do you want to come to the house for Thanksgiving?", what am I gonna say? "Nooooo." You know what I say? I say "Yes, Mr. Carson, I'd LOVE it."
  Johnny: Can you come?
  Doc: No. (Johnny cracks up and plops a kleenex box on the desk so they can dry their tears of laughter)
• 1981: Johnny acting out how Walter Cronkite should have done his final newscast, ranging from asking to stop the "tickety-tickety" noise after 19 years to reading a story as Porky Pig.
  Mount St. Helens erupted again. Blew the top clean off. Th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!
• "I have certain guidelines, but I would give about a year's pay to peek under there." (...Which added fuel to the fire of the Zsa Zsa Gabor Pussy Cat Urban Legend.)
• All of his pie skits, which parodied then-recent TV commercials:
  • "Hi. Do you mind if I talk to you for just a minute? I just want to say a few words about Diarrhea-" *SPLAT* *SPLAT* *SPLAT*
  • "Come on, I dare ya. I dare ya to knock this battery off my shoulder." (hit with pie) "Come on, I double dare ya." (hit with two more pies)
  • "Sir, how do you spell relief?" "How do I spell relief? I spell it R-O-L-" (hit with pie) "E ..."
  • "You're away from home and your wallet is stolen. All your cash is gone. What WILL you do. What WILL you-" (hit with pie)
    • The 1992 farewell special featured several outtakes of that skit, including one where the pie hit him in the chest and one where it grazed his hat.
• The "Carnac the Magnificent" segments were always good for laughs, from the moment "Carnac" entered the studio and walked off in the wrong direction, then corrected himself only to trip on the step at the edge of the set at the beginning of every segment.
  • In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk!
  • Johnny's surly attitude while in character as Carnac. In one instance, after the usual long introduction by Ed, Johnny said in an annoyed tone, "Let's get on with it." A great Running Gag in these segments is when Johnny asks for complete silence while he ascertains the answers; Ed replies variants of, "You sometimes have a lot of it." Cue Death Glare from Johnny.
  • Also funny was one time when Ed continued to talk after his usual long introduction:
    Ed: Envelope #1.
    Johnny: Silence, please.
    Ed: Hermetically sealed.
    Johnny: I will divine the answer.
    Ed: Funk and Wagnall's porch... (Beat) ...since noon today. (Beat) But you! (cracks up)
    Johnny: Can we get on with this?!
  • Three words: "Sis Boom Bah!", perhaps the funniest "Carnac the Magnificent" prompt. Johnny and Ed are already struggling to keep straight faces as Johnny holds the envelope against his turban, and when he finally tears open the envelope and reads the card - "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes!" - it takes nearly a minute before they can stop laughing for long enough to move on to the next envelope. They both struggle to hold the rest of the segment together through their laughter.
  • The answer: "Abba Eban". The question: "Describe the sound made when Dr. Renee Richards removes her pantyhose." Johnny and Ed struggle (and fail) to keep it together for the next punchline:
    Ed: We're professionals. We're grown men. We can handle this.
    Johnny: ...(does a high-pitched giggle) Idi Amin... and Mist- (struggles to keep from laughing) And Mr. Goodwrench. (opens envelope) Name (voice breaks) two people, who... who love to fix other people's cars.
  • The 9/5/90 Carnac had a slightly modified intro by Ed, which did not go unnoticed by Johnny:
    Ed: I hold in my hands, the envelopes. My four-and-a-half-year-old daughter Catherine Mary can tell that these envelopes are hermetically sealed. They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch since noon today. NO ONE! knows the answers inside these envelopes, but YOU, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers, without even knowing, heretofore the questions. Isn't that correct, sir?
    Johnny: Do we have TIME for this now? (does the "stretch" motion) [Your] part gets longer every time we do this! Now, family plugs!
  • Any time Carnac delivers a curse to the audience if they boo his punchlines. Even better if he flubs the curse; in the 1/10/80 episode:
    Johnny: May a sickly water buffa- buffalo... soil your... aw, who gives a... (audience laughs)
    Ed: A sickly water buffalo what?
    Johnny: ...Soil your souffle. Carnac headed into Cairo can.
  • In the 4/9/81 episode, in between the jokes, one person in the audience can be heard coughing. Johnny draws attention to it:
    Johnny: No coughing while Carnac is...
    Ed: Nice to hear some sound.
    Johnny: How about THIS sound: "You're fired." (Ed laughs)
  • In the same sketch, Johnny loses his place on the sheets of paper on the desk that have the punchlines so he just sits there with the envelope against his forehead, prompting Ed to remark that Carnac dozed off for a second.
  • Johnny screws up the punchline for the last Carnac on the 3/21/84 episode:
    Johnny: During the rainy season, and When the Swallows Come Back to Capistrano. (opens envelope) What do you need an umbrella- when do you need an umbrella- for why do you need- who cares. (cracks up and walks off)
  • The Carnac from 5/9/90 also deserves mention: The first few jokes don't do very well; as Ed hands him another envelope, he remarks in an amused tone: "We have, uh, several more to go." By the time Ed got to the "I hold in my hands, the last envelope" bit, even Johnny is applauding.
  • In the 2/24/81 episode, Johnny throws one of the envelopes off (Ed: "Couldn't divine that one?"); when he does the punchline for the last envelope, the audience groans:
    Ed: Would you like to pick up the one you threw away?
    Johnny: ...Good night! (runs behind the curtain)
  • One of the Carnac jokes in late 1991:
  Johnny: Tommy Lasorda, Roger Ebert, Marla Maples. (opens envelope) Name someone who's bumped an ump, someone who's plump in the rump, and someone who's dumped the Trump.
  • And the very last one from February 1992.
    Johnny: Green Acres. (opens envelope) What would Kermit the Frog be holding if you kicked him in the wrong place?
• Any of the Charles Grodin interviews. So many great passive-aggressive remarks (Played for Laughs, of course). One of the best running gags involved Carson deriding Grodin's book because it was $18.95. Grodin asked, "Is that too much, for a lifetime of experience?" Carson snarked, "Well I suppose not, if you're... Mother Teresa." This comment would be referenced numerous times in subsequent interviews, and one of Grodin's last appearances, he had a paperback re-issue out that was only $9.95. Carson said, "Well now we're talkin'!"

  Carson: Shoulda started out $9.95, then this would be $4.65 by now!

  • Johnny asked Charles what the worst job he's ever had was. As usual, Charles refused to answer the question and instead turned it around on him:
    Charles: What's the worst job you've ever had?
    Johnny: THIS one! This one right now, this is the worst job I've ever had, trying to talk to you. Right here. Not only the worst job, this is the worst night I've ever had!
  • In his 1992 appearance, he was promoting a movie, a book and a stage play.
    Johnny: I feel like this is a K-Mart tonight! You're just goin' down the aisle: "Uh, gimme one of those, gimme a movie, gimme a book!"
  • In the 9/8/89 interview, Johnny wanted to know if he was mentioned in Charles Grodin's latest book, so he looked through it:
    Charles: This is exciting television. A man looking in an index.
    Johnny: Carson, Johnny: 203. I'm on one lousy page?
  • One of the funnier non-passive aggressive bits in Grodin's interviews was discussing erectile dysfunction and nocturnal emissions, and Grodin bringing up how one technique was to put stamps down there to see if they're, as Johnny put it, "cancelled". At one point Johnny asks Fred de Cordova if this conversation will be censored and mumbles something inaudible, prompting Johnny to snark:
    Johnny: Freddy, you wanna put the stamps away and talk to me for a sec? (cut to Fred, who's laughing hysterically)
• In 1992, David Letterman was a guest shortly after it was announced that Leno would be inheriting The Tonight Show instead of Letterman (the person Carson wanted). One of the first questions Carson asked Letterman was: "How pissed off are you?"
• After claiming that looking into an animal's eyes and speaking to it will calm it, Johnny is swiped at by a cheetah and runs into Ed's arms. Funny every time.
• The night before Johnny's final show, Robin Williams was one of the guests. After being introduced and greeted by Johnny and Ed, he goes off and improvs, as per usual. At one point, after making a particularly off-color remark, he quips, "If that gets bleeped, good luck!" Chuckling, Carson replies, "We're outta here after tomorrow, what do I care?" Williams almost collapses out of his seat in laughter.
• The time Ed was allegedly drunk before Joan Embery was brought out.
  Johnny: (smiling wide) You really think you're fooling everybody, don't you?
• Barney Odum had his dog Flatnose on the show, who could climb trees. Bandleader Doc Severinsen said before the show that if the dog could truly climb the tree on the set, he would kiss Flatnose on an unnamed body part (use your imagination). This was brought up a few times in the episode itself. Doubly funny in hindsight: The segment with Flatnose is what caused Ian McKellen to be bumped from the episode because they ran out of time.
• The parody of American Express Traveler's Checks commercials with Johnny as Karl Malden. Specifically, the one where the couple is in a Japanese hot tub and is unable to pay because they don't have Traveler's Checks.
  Woman: (glassy-eyed) What will we do?
  (Johnny emerges from the hot tub water, fully clothed)
  Johnny: What will they do?! What will they do?! (cracks smile)
• This bit:
  Husband: (comes into the bedroom) I brought the Colonel [KFC] home!
  Wife: I've got a surprise for you: So did I!
  (pulls back bed sheets, and Johnny dressed as Colonel Sanders pops up and waves)
• It's been said by more than one viewer that Johnny is funnier when he bombs, because his reactions to the substandard material are priceless, and Ed McMahon's off-screen chortling only enhances the experience.
  • Just one example: He did a recurring sketch called "The Edge of Wetness" where he put the camera on random people in the audience and narrated who their character was in a soap opera. Every time a joke didn't get a lot of response, Johnny added: "Nothing.", which did cause audience laughter.
    Johnny: That concludes "Nothing", tonight's episode. Join me next week, when we bring you "The Edge of Nothing."
  • Another time, he had a segment on the 3/10/89 episode called "Believe it or Stuff it". The crowd laughed at the first few, but then they hit a slump, so Johnny said "Gee whiz, this really sucks!" The sketch ended with an audience member actually yelling out, "Stop it!", cracking up Johnny.
  • A sketch on the 5/3/84 episode about "cause and effect" had Johnny skipping a couple slides, due to middling laughs on the previous slide.
    Johnny: This is going right into the toilet.
• The interview with four-year-old spelling bee star Rohan Varavadekar had plenty of these. At one point, Rohan was talking about his upcoming birthday and remarked that he knew when Johnny's birthday was: "October 23, 1925."
  Johnny: (after much audience laughter) That was a long time ago, wasn't it?
• One sketch in the 2/1/90 episode had Johnny trying out a long-range microphone. When he pointed it towards Disney Land:
  "Little to the left, Minnie! Higher! Higher!"
• Two moments from Don Rickles come to mind:
  • In one sketch, Johnny was in an Asian spa, and Don (who wasn't supposed to be in the sketch) wandered in and wanted to massage Johnny ("Can I do it a couple minutes? Just gimme a break, I'm so lonely!"). Johnny retaliated by throwing Don into a nearby hot tub.
  • Don was a guest on a night when Johnny was off. When Johnny returned the next night, he noticed that his cigarette ashes box on his desk was broken, and wanted to know what happened. Doc informed him that Don broke it when he was on the show. Rather than just wait until Don was a guest, Johnny stopped the show to go next door where Don was filming an episode of C.P.O. Sharkey and caught him totally by surprise.
• The "Beezer the Lonely Parakeet" sketch on the 8/15/91 episode. Some context: Johnny read a true story in the paper about a parakeet who tried to mate with a dinner roll. They made a sketch out of it, with Johnny narrating their troubled romance over photographs. While the photos got a few laughs, Johnny was surly about it really quickly ("We're going into the dumper."), and almost stopped the sketch early, but after being goaded to continue by Ed, he rushed through the rest as fast as he could.
• In a 1987 episode, Johnny gave the audience a choice between two sketches they could do: One was a series of photos of the Royal Family with jokes about them, and the other was a list of fake phobias (the episode aired near Halloween). The audience chose the photos, and they got a less-than-spectacular response. Of course, Johnny rubbed it in many times:
  Johnny: You asked for this. I was for the phobias myself.
  You have nobody to blame but yourselves.
  (after reading a couple samples of the fake phobias) Shame, shame, you would've gone out of here chuckling, but you're going out with images of those dumb pictures dancing in your head.
• A Sally Field interview in 1982 took a hilarious left turn when Sally, tired of talking about G-rated things on talk shows, told Johnny, "I wanna talk about doing it!"
• One of the all-time best episodes of the show was the 9/26/74 episode, which started out relatively normally but went Off the Rails during a segment where Dom DeLuise tried to do a magic trick involving eggs balanced on books of matches, and ended in an egg-throwing fight between Dom and Johnny. And then when Burt Reynolds was the next guest, whipped cream was ALSO brought into the mix.
• Any instance where Tommy Newsom gets more laughs than Johnny. One time, Johnny brought Tommy to his spot and told him to do his monologue jokes.
  • In another instance, Johnny actually walked off the set for a few seconds after one of Tommy's dry jokes!
    Johnny: (upon returning) Trained all my life as a professional comedian... "go to a clinic", the place goes mad.
    Ed: Can I try this just once? Heeeeeeeeere's Tommy!
  • In the Robin Williams episode from 1982, Doc was off that night and Johnny asked Tommy where Doc is. Tommy's response is hilarious:
  Tommy: Doc went away.
  Johnny: You say that like he died or something!
• Albert Brooks brought out "Buddy", a Speak & Spell that "responded" to questions and commands:
  Albert: Buddy, say hi to the audience.
  Buddy: I.
  Albert: Happy to be here, Buddy?
  Buddy: S.
  Albert: I know you are. Buddy, do you know where you are? Look around, do you know where you are?
  Buddy: T.V.
  Albert: Very good, Buddy! Very good, very good. You know, Buddy had a... an ear infection, Johnny. Couldn't hear earlier today, and almost didn't want to come on. Buddy, is your ear better?
  Buddy: A.
  Albert: I said, can you hear now?
  Buddy: A.
  Albert: I said, IS YOUR EAR BETTER?!
  Buddy: S.
  Albert: All right, fine. Buddy just got back from Mexico, did you have a good time, Buddy?
  Buddy: C.
  Albert: You like Mexico, huh?
  Buddy: C.
  Albert: Gonna stay there for a while?
  Buddy: C.
  Albert: I see. If you could say "Sy", we'd have a bit!
  Johnny: What's your sister's name? Sue!
  Buddy: C.
  Albert: Buddy has a party to go to later tonight, Johnny. He's very excited. He and his girlfriend have been going for two years. You're gonna exchange gifts, right?
  Buddy: S.
  Albert: You gonna give her a car, right? What are you gonna give her?
  Buddy: X.K.E.
  Albert: Ooh, a Jaguar. Very nice. What's she gonna give YOU, Buddy?
  Buddy: V.D.
• A PSA segment from 1990 went Off the Rails, starting after Johnny criticized Kevin the slate guy for entering the shot slowly and he got immediate revenge by deliberately reading the slate slowly.
• The famous monkey nicknamed "Doc" that Jim Fowler brought on in 1982. Not only did he knock over the chair on a table twice, he punched Johnny in the mouth! And in moments afterwards not usually shown in retrospectives, Johnny taunts Doc by spitting a bunch of grapes at him!
• Anytime Ed keeps interrupting when Johnny's trying to set up a comedy sketch. There's this one from a 1985 PSA sketch:
  Johnny: If you happen to be a, I hate the word "celebrity", don't you? If you're well-known, you get requests from a lot of organizations to do what they call public service announcements.
  Ed: And it's nice that you do these, because a lot of people don't do them. A lot of stars, when it comes to this, they say... "Pss- n-not me", but YOU!
  Johnny: They say it a lot clearer than that, too.
  Ed: Sure they do! That's why they don't make them. But you come right in and do it. You don't get paid for this, you receive no money for this.
  Johnny: Was I, was I having trouble setting this up, or what? (audience laughs) Anyway, you've seen them, they're from the USO-
  Ed: Boy Scouts.
  Johnny: What?
  Ed: Boy Scouts of America.
  Johnny: Yes, things like that. Those are called-
  Ed: Campfire Girls.
  Johnny: That's right. Public servant- you must really have been banking it away from Star Search. (Ed laughs) You must have foreign distribution for everything.
• A 1982 episode featured a segment where Johnny proved how computers could be idiotic by showing a letter he received from a political committee, repeatedly addressing him as "Mr. Inc." ^Note (in reference to Johnny Carson Inc.)
  Johnny: "Dear Mr. Inc.:"
  • Similarly, another desk bit from 1985 had Johnny reading an auto-generated letter that had abbreviated "association" to "Ass". He had a good time reading some of it: "We're talkin' big money, Ass..."
• The interview with Myrtle Young, a woman who collected potato chips that resembled celebrities. At one point, Johnny munched on a chip, startling Myrtle, who thought he was eating one of her chips. He had pulled a chip from his own bowl under his desk.
• In an episode with Joan Embery, she brought on a really long boa constrictor. Since he was busy holding part of it, Johnny brought Doc out to measure it; when Doc took too long with the tape measure, Johnny snarked, "It's not being fitted for a suit, Doc."
• Any of the sketches where Johnny played G. Walter Schneer, a completely unhelpful bureaucrat who worked for various agencies (but usually the IRS).
  • Special mention to a skit where Schneer was head of a bank. After the first couple of jokes don't get many laughs, Johnny briefly breaks script:
    Johnny: A lot of people ask: Why do a sketch like this?
• Magician Michael Ammar performed on a 1986 episode with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Billy Crystal. When he started the trick, he asked Arnold if he had a dollar bill he could use for the trick. Arnold pulled out a wad of $100 bills and asked, "How much do you need?"
• A 1983 episode started out normally but before Johnny announced the guests, Fred De Cordova (the director) mentioned that they somehow lost the tape for a pre-recorded sketch, which Johnny couldn't believe. That, combined with a moment later on when one of the lights went out during Martin Mull's stand-up, had Johnny wondering if NBC was trying to send him a signal that the show is on thin ice. Obviously Hilarious in Hindsight, since it ran for nine more years after this.
• The interview with Emmanuel Lewis has some amusing moments, especially when Johnny asks Emmanuel if he ever watches The Tonight Show. His response: "Once in a blue moon."
  Johnny: (after much audience laughter) You have six teeth missing, would you like to try for seven?
• A monologue joke from 1989 concerned how in the next twenty years, bugs might be a main source of food due to population growth.
  Johnny: McDonald's already... has got a new menu standing by if this takes off. It's an Insect Fun Meal: It's a Bug Mac with a side order of Flies.
• Any time Johnny is obliged to soft-shoe dance when a joke (or a series of jokes) bomb.
  Doc: We were just sayin' if things don't pick up for you in a minute, we'd have a little dance music for ya.
• In one episode, Johnny interviewed Florence Hodges, a 93-year-old nurse who still worked seven days a week, despite probably not needing to.
  Johnny: Why don't you take a day off?
  Florence: Because they'll let somebody work in my place, and I'll miss something!
• This monologue joke from 11/1/89 was clever, discussing the movie The Final Days about Richard Nixon:
  Johnny: They missed a big scene chance there. They should've had Nixon step on Ford's toe, and Nixon says, "Pardon me." And Ford says, "Sure."
• Right at the top of a 1977 interview with James Caan, some random audience member shouted "I have to roll, see you later, Johnny." Everyone is puzzled.
  Johnny: We have a certain "element" here on Friday nights... you never trust an audience that comes in a bus with chicken wire on the windows.
• The interview from 1986 where Johnny had Roger Moore inhale helium and deliver the iconic "shaken, not stirred" line.
• Any of the Art Fern/Tea Time Movie sketches, particularly:
  • The 4/30/76 had Johnny so exhausted from the long sketch that eventually he just gave up and crouched underneath the fake podium, causing the Matinee Lady to pull the podium back to backstage so he could make his escape!
  • There's also the one from 1982 where Johnny kept accidentally grabbing the wrong item, a Gyps-U Knife. It was featured in the "Best of '70s and '80s" special.
    Johnny: We have so many bargains for you, I get mixed up sometimes!
  • The one where Johnny's mustache fell off, sending him into hysterics when he realized it.
  • The one from January 1988. One of the products is Quaker Puffed Fire cereal, which emits a ball of gas from the top. It's so smoky that Johnny goes, "Jeeeesus Christ", which is played backwards.
• The Gunsmoke sketch from 3/25/83, where Johnny was supposed to merely remove a hat to reveal a wig but in doing so, the wig flew off his head.
  Johnny: Aw screw it, let's go! (takes Jim Thompson by the hand and walks off the set)
• Joan Embery brought a pair of orangutans on the show and while Johnny was holding it, Joan mentioned that if Johnny laughs, the orangutan might too. So Johnny put on a fake laugh for several seconds, and the orangutan looks to be rolling his eyes, causing Johnny to burst out laughing for real. The orangutan never does join in either, causing him to laugh even harder.
• A minor one in the 9/2/87 episode: Upon coming back from the first commercial break, the band played as usual. And kept playing. Prompting Johnny to just stare into the camera while they eventually finished, including yawning partway through it.
• One Blue Card was submitted by a woman from Lincoln, Nebraska. Johnny lit up: "I used to work in Lincoln! (no response from the woman) ...Okay."
• A segment from the 10/23/84 episode was kids writing about the office of the presidency. A gem towards the end:
  Johnny: "How do you get to be president?" "You make movies and smile while you lie."
• Johnny was a stickler for comic timing, so whenever Ed would interject with a word that wasn't in the script (thus throwing off Johnny's rhythm) he would call attention to it. He often did this in the Aunt Blabby sketches, and then there's this one in a sketch where Johnny played a stock market analyst:
  Johnny: I'm a smidgen more gloomy.
  Ed: Oh.
  Johnny: Excuse me?
  Ed: I just said "oh".
  Johnny: Oh. (pause; then breaking character) Where does it say that you say "Oh"?
• Johnny's jokes in the 8/5/77 monologue thudded so badly that not only did the band play "Tea For Two", but towards the end, Ed gave him the Vaudeville Hook!
  • In the same episode, Richard Pryor, for some reason, got the giggles before consumer advocate David Horowitz came out, and kept laughing throughout his entire segment. At one point, Pryor said a curse word that had to be bleeped, sending Johnny into hysterics.
• This professor sketch from 1981. Ed kept getting tongue-tied when setting up the punchlines, finally causing Johnny to declare: "You really suck tonight!" He then invited a member of the studio audience up to take Ed's place in reading the last set-up. But then the audience member got tongue-tied. Johnny immediately pointed for them to go back to their seat.
• A sketch from 1989 had Johnny showcasing what you can do with your Garfield suction cup dolls, which prompted numerous, brief video clips. Among the highlights were Garfield's head used as a golf tee and being decapitated by the golf club, being grilled, being put on a fishing lure, and a victim of clay pigeon target practice. Also amusingly, Johnny had to repeatedly stress he has nothing against "kitty cats", just the doll itself, and pleaded for cat lovers not to write angry letters.
• Any time Johnny says "Well..." as part of his Ronald Reagan impression.
• In the monologue for the 5/14/81 episode, Johnny kept setting up jokes that he was in such-and-such a location earlier today, prompting off-screen chortling from Ed and Johnny lampshading that he was all over L.A. that day getting material for the monologue.
  • A similar thing happened in the 8/4/82 monologue, and again Johnny called attention to it: "I've been a lot of places today!"
• In one later interview with Tony Randall, they somehow got on the topic of deodorant. Johnny was of the opinion that most people who bathe daily and practice good hygiene don't really need deodorant, which prompted some queasy groans from the audience. He said they've been brainwashed by the deodorant companies, and soon after he called attention to the "smelly group" in the front to ask what they think.
• The July 28, 1988 interview with then-Arkansas governor Bill Clinton began with Johnny setting an hourglass on the desk, as a nod to Clinton's overly-long speech at the 1988 Democratic National Convention the week before, an act that amused Clinton.
• This performance of "The Stars and Stripes Forever" by manualist ^Note a person who performs music by squeezing air through their hands John Twomey

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