Jonas Wagner is 18 years old and in the middle of completing his senior year at Sellwood High School. Jonas is shy and sweet and a bit of nerd, which makes him a bit of a bully magnet. As he's paired with Mitch Mueller for a science assignment, he dreads it tremendously but then later grows more comfortable with him and learns a great deal about himself.
- Ambiguously Brown: He, along with his twin sister Sidney, who don't know their race/ethnicity due to being abandoned by their birth parents at a young age. The artist referenced actors of Saudi Arabian descent when drawing them, so they're most likely Middle Eastern.
- Band Geek: Jonas is one of these - specifically, he plays the snare drum.
- Bi the Way: Jonas grows closer to Mitch while doing the science project, running from the facilitators of the waste facility, and dealing with his powers. He comes to realize that he does love Mitch, though he still has an attraction to girls.
- Deadpan Snarker: Jonas. Once he and Mitch are paired together for their science project and they start to warm up to each other, Jonas's more sarcastic side starts to show.
- Emotional Powers: Jonas's Hard Light powers are powered by his powers and the colors change according to his mood.
- Extreme Doormat: Jonas hates confrontation and will usually avoid any and all conflict.
- Happily Adopted: Subverted, his foster family seems perfect on the outside, but his foster father is emotionally and at times physically abusive towards him and possibly sexually abusive as well.
- Lovable Nerd: Jonas is a sheltered, book smart but socially awkward, so he definitely fits the bill. Obviously, Mitch feels this way towards Jonas, but his friends also find Jonas quite adorable.
- Nice Guy: Jonas is a completely sweetheart, to the point where he's the only character who (so far) hasn't used hard swearing in the comic.
- Youthful Freckles: Jonas has these; Mitch calls him "Spots" as a derisive nickname. At first.
After being away from town from two years, Mitch Mueller re-enrolls at Sellwood High and picks up where he left off - as a bully. Crude and violent, he scares all the students and teachers and it seems like no one can control him. He does have a soft spot however - Jonas Wagner whom he's been nursing a crush on since middle school. The school assignment and fantastic events of the comic drive them closer, but Mitch still has plenty of baggage to deal with from his upbringing.
- Badass Gay: Mitch has had some trouble working out his sexuality, but that certainly hadn't distracted him from stabbing his abusive stepdad.
- The Bully: Almost played entirely straight, except he's more of a well-rounded version and a lot more endearing.
- Fun T-Shirt: Mitch's wardrobe has a lot of these, especially of the family-unfriendly variety.
- Gayngst: Mitch didn't know how to deal with his feelings towards other boys, which in turn partly shaped him into who he is today. Word of God revealed he dated a girl for a bit before deciding he couldn't pretend anymore. At school, he is more or less out of the closet.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: Mitch is set off easily, and often punctuates his rage with a loud "FUCK" shouted.
- Hypocritical Heartwarming: Mitch insistent on picking on Jonas (at first), but should anyone else pick on him he will raise hell and high water.
- Irrational Hatred: The Long Exposure Wiki reveals that Mitch despises Michael Cera for no good reason.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Mitch is crass and vulgar with violent tendencies, but it's clear he will defend Jonas and loves his friends.
- Knife Nut: Mitch carries a switch blade that belonged to his deceased brother, and he stabbed his step-father, leading to him being in juvenile detention for two years.
- Lean and Mean: He's as lanky as he is violent.
- Loving Bully: Mitch has a huge crush on Jonas, but instead of confessing he just bullies him instead. Along with the whole developing superpowers thing, it drives the central conflict in the plot.
- Mind over Matter: Mitch has the power of telekinesis. He really likes lifting big objects to smash.
- Momma's Boy: Mitch loves his mother to death, do NOT say anything bad about her.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: There's not a page of the comic where Mitch doesn't let a "fuck" come out of his mouth.
- Smug Smiler: Mitch's default expression at this point.
- Sour Outside, Sad Inside: Mitch lives up to his reputation as a violent, gruff asshole but he actually struggles with pretty serious self-esteem issues to the point of self-loathing and disordered eating. Not that he'd let anyone know that.
- Straight Gay: Mitch is the furthest thing from a Camp Gay.
- Tareme Eyes: Mitch seems to have those.
- Tsundere: Towards Jonas, big time.
- Violently Protective Boyfriend: Anyone picking on Jonas will face his wrath. And when he learns that Dean sexually abused Jonas and the other foster children, he became murderously enraged.
- Weight Woe: Mitch suffers from both anorexia and bulimia, and he is very insecure about his body.
Sidney is Jonas's twin sister and the complete opposite of him: she's assertive, daring and tough. She loves skateboarding and will do anything on a dare. She loves her brother tremendously and will protect him from harm. But as Jonas and Mitch spend more time with each other and face off against stronger forces, she may be out of her depth.
- Ambiguously Brown: Same deal as Jonas, she may be of Middle Eastern descent.
- Asexual: The wiki reveals that while she is a lesbian, she is also asexual.
- Big Sister Instinct: Sidney will stands up for Jonas against bullies and looks after his well being. Unfortunately there's not much she can do against Dean.
- Cool Big Sis: She and Jonas are the same age, but she's an inch taller and fulfills this role. She stands up to bullies for Jonas and is fiercely protective.
- The Lad-ette: She likes typically male activities such as skateboarding, has a decent amount of strength and will stand up against bullies, male or female.
Dean is Jonas and Sidney's adopted father. He is chief of police of the Sellwood police force, and he and his wife run a foster care full of children. However, underneath the facade of a celebrated police officer and caring father, Dean is a bitter and at times, abusive man towards his family and to Jonas in particular. Jonas is his eldest male child and Dean has very strict idea on how a man should act and he forces Jonas to conform in that mold.
- Abusive Parents: Dean is emotionally, verbally and at times, physically abusive to Jonas and is harder on him than any of the other kids. He may be abusive to his wife as well, as his wife is meek and submissive around him. He is also sexually abusive as he produced child porn of his many foster kids and may have done the same to Jonas and Sidney.
- Control Freak: Indicated that he likes to stay in control of his family, and acts aggressively towards them.
- Heteronormative Crusader: After he catches Jonas and Mitch in a comprising position, he starts coming down hard on Jonas to make sure Mitch doesn't influences him and anyway and it's clear that he has a problem with LGBT people.
- Hypocrite: Despite his disdain for LGBT people and their lifestyles, Dean is also a pedophile who has taken photos of his foster children naked.
- Jerkass: Oh yes. He's a jerk while on the police force and he brings his aggression and controlling temperament home with him from the job.
Neil attends Sellwood High and at the top of the popularity chain. He is rich and spoiled and bullies other kids (particularly those who aren't "perfect" or poor). He's despised at Sellwood but due to his wealth, he's untouchable. That is until Mitch comes back to Sellwood.
- The Bully: Mitch bullies with his fists, whereas Neil uses his words and wealth. He wants to desperately dethrone Mitch as the head bully at Sellwood.
- Hate Sink: He is completely disconnected from the main storyline and not nearly as villainous as say, Dean but he's still a contemptible bully who's just there to make Jonas and Mitch's lives a little harder than they have to be.
- Jerkass: Yep. A pretty big one, at that.
- Rich Bitch: The Spear Counterpart of this trope, as he's a jerk to anyone not as rich as he is.
Javier is part of Mitch's crew and his best friend. While he's a bully along with the rest of the group, he is friendly and jovial.
- A Friend in Need: Is fiercely loyal to Mitch and his other friends.
- The Bully: Along with Mitch and his other friends.
- Hidden Depths: Despite his exterior and his bullying behavior, he is quite smart and does well in school and unlike his friends, he hasn't been held back.
- Juggalo: Javier is a big fan of the Insane Clown Posse and often wears the clown face paint.
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Javier is terrified of paranormal phenomenon.
Another one of Mitch's crew. He is a big redneck (or so he proclaims), and he's not bright at all.
- The Bully: He's destructive and mean, just like the rest of the group.
- Deep South: He pretends he's from the south and speaks with a southern accent - despite being born and raised in California.
- Heteronormative Crusader: He is less accepting of Mitch's sexuality than the other bullies, but he's starting to come around.
Scratch is the only girl in Mitch's crew, but she's the most unpredictable out of all of them. She's destructive and somewhat unbalanced and sometimes even annoying her own friends, sometimes climbing all over them. She's also the only one with a car.
- The Bully: Unlike her crew, she doesn't do it out of maliciousness.
- Butch Lesbian: She's a lesbian and she's not femme in the slighty.
- Chaotic Neutral: Word of God describes her as such.
- Genki Girl: She likes jumping all over people, she likes to act randomly, and making animal noises.
- Furry Fandom: Is part of the furry fandom. Her fursona is a deer.
- Perky Female Minion: She fufills this role in the group of bullies.
Lewis is one of Jonas and Sidney's shared friends, and a fellow nerd friend to Jonas. He is, however a much bigger geek than Jonas and enjoy the stereotypical nerd type interests.
- Extraverted Nerd: A lot less shyer than Jonas and he likes to talk about his interests a lot, but he's not any less awkward.
- Funny Afro: Has a brightly colored afro.
- Those Two Guys: Along with Madison, they're just there to fill out the cast on Jonas and Sidney's side. He's completely ordinary and not connected to the plot.
Madison is another person in Jonas and Sidney's crew. She's a devout Christian and tends to look down on others. She also harbors a crush on Jonas.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Madison considers Sidney her best friend but the feeling isn't mutual. Jonas hasn't noticed her crush on him. Lewis doesn't pay any special attention to her at all.
- Heteronormative Crusader: She is judgmental of gay and lesbian lifestyles as part of her religious upbringing, ironic considering that Sidney, her (supposed) best friend is a lesbian and she crushes on bisexual Jonas.
- Sour Prudes: Looks down on women who dress a particular way, and she usually wears long skirts and blouses.
- Those Two Guys: Disconnected from the plot, along with Lewis.