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Captain Obvious / Fan Works

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All examples found in fan fiction and other amateur tributes are here!
  • In The Silmarillion fanfiction A Boy, a Girl and a Dog: The Leithian Script, Beren's comrades quickly gang up on two Feanor's partisans who are attempting to bully him. Said partisans proceed to shout they're outnumbered.
    Seneschal of Formenos: [almost speechless with fury] You — dishonorable ruffians —
    Captain: I beg your pardon? Beren wasn't doing anything to you — to say nothing of the rest of us.
    Seneschal of Formenos: Setting upon us with guile and greater numbers — !
    Captain: I don't understand.
    Warden of Aglon: [snarling in pain] You outnumber us, idiot!
    Captain: [puzzled frown] Er — yes, surely you'd noticed that already? That's usually the way it is.
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  • Advice and Trust: Rei is naturally blunt, but in chapter 8 she makes very obvious statements because her emotion-numbing medication is messing up her mind:
    Rei: (staring at a watermelon) This melon... is very green. Green.
  • In A Prize For Three Empires, the Shi'ar Imperial Guard has captured Carol Danvers, and Oracle warns Gladiator that their prisoner will try to escape.
    Oracle: Gladiator, I must warn you of my vision. I have a sight that she will try to escape before we make planet. Be on your guard.
    Gladiator: (rolling eyes) That I needed you to tell me? Thank you, Oracle.
  • In The Bug Princess, Lydia finds herself lost in the Neitherworld. Fortunately, she soon finds a helpful sign that tells her where she is. "Welcome to the Middle of Nowhere. Population: You." Naturally, she offers her thanks to Captain Obvious for the information.
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  • A Running Gag throughout one episode of Script Fic Calvin and Hobbes: The Series: Calvin keeps having to be this to Hobbes.
  • Cat Tales features this moment when Catwoman is regaling a theater audience with the tale of how she first met Batman:
    So I've got the trinkets. Brunhilda is still snoring away. Cujo, the killer schnauzer, is still locked in the bathroom. I close the safe, restore the power, slide the window back exactly the way it was—8 minutes flat. Personal best for a private residence where I didn't have the floorplan going in. I drop down to the alley—and there… he… is…The Batman. Caped Crusader. Dark Knight. Guardian of Gotham. Crime Fighter extraordinaire. I am Vengeance, I am Justice, I am in desperate need of a personality transplant… Batman.
    In full regalia—looking like Sir Lancelot dipped in tar but not yet feathered.
    And he speaks: "I don't think those jewels belong to you."
    ...I salute you, World's Greatest Detective!
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  • The Child of Love: Ritsuko was hit hard with this in the first chapter when she and Misato are arguing possible consequences of Asuka being pregnant:
    Ritsuko: Anyway, she...she can't think about it! And if an Angel attacks late in her term, she won't be able to pilot Unit 02!
    Misato: Oh, you found that out by yourself?
  • In Christian Humber Reloaded, after Vash's friend Soku betrays him and reports him to the police, he wants to kill her, but remembers that he promised her that he wouldn't kill anyone else. One chapter later, he changes his mind, and not only kills Soku, but also slaughters her friends and family and destroys her village. He then says, "By doing that I broke my promise to her."
  • A Crown of Stars: In chapter 48 a thug pistol-whipped one of his drunk goons across the face with his gun. The goon's answer? "You hit me."
  • In Dave Stdider Pokemon Traner, Will Turner is probably the biggest offender, but Dave himself can get pretty bad too.
  • This exchange between Sergeant Kanril Eleya and Colonel Karryn Retta in From Bajor to the Black, regarding Eleya's career options.
    Karryn: Door number three? An inter-service transfer order.
    Eleya: (beat) Starfleet?
    Karryn: No, the Dominion. Of course, Starfleet.
  • In one chapter of the Harry Potter/The Princess Bride crossover "Harry Potter and the Florinese Dream", Count Rugen calls Prince Humperdinck "Prince Obvious".
  • In Harry Potter: Geth Harry is about to shoot a heretic when their head explodes.
    Geth: Possible Alliance allies have arrived.
    Harry: Yes. Thank you so very much for pointing out the obvious.
  • In the Psych fic Hero, there is the following exchange when a man who's taken a high school class hostage reveals he's got a bomb strapped to his chest:
    Billy: Hey, that's a bomb!
    Shawn: Thank you, Captain Obvious.
  • Knives in the Dark:
    Kingsley Shacklebolt: We seem to be running out of firewhiskey.
    Mad-Eye Moody: Thank you, Shacklebolt. Your statement of the obvious is so valuable.
  • In The Lion King Adventures, Nala has a pretty funny moment in The Curse of Death:
    Nala: I hate sandstorms. They're really... sandy.
    Haiba: Well, duh! They're not gonna be banana-y, are they?
  • Krysta from My Brave Pony: Starfleet Magic. Upon meeting Rhymey, a character who speaks entirely in rhyme, she remarks "Wow, he sure does love rhyming." Not long after, she wanders into a restaurant and remarks upon how hungry everybody is.
  • One Flew into the Cuckoos' Nest:
    She-Hulk: Plus, well, my cousin went off the grid recently. Last I heard from Tony, he was in Nevada. And if someone stresses him out, well, we'll soon know it. The Hulk tends to draw attention.
    Tonks: And in other news, the ocean is wet.
  • Quicken: At the start of the story, when Emma goes berserker and starts head butting, gouging eyes and biting noses off, one of the thugs who attacked her exclaims:
    "Holy shit, she's gone crazy!"
  • Tales of the Undiscovered Swords: Sasanoyuki has a tendency to state the obvious due to his lack of emotion. For example, his reaction when Izuminokami gives him a cabbage and asks him to chop it:
    "You handed me a cabbage."
  • In Teenage Mutant Ninja Kneazles after Neville helpfully mentioned that the "cannot sing above the ground" part of the clue for the Second Task meant it would take place underwater and Harry and Hermione gave him scornful looks he commented "Fine, see if I point out the obvious next time."
  • Characters' reactions to developments in Twillight Sparkle's awesome adventure are frequently this, sometimes mixed with Department of Redundancy Department.
    • Becomes a Ninja Prop when Admiral Awesome pretends to be dying in a fashion so similar to previous meaningless appearances of Captain Obvious that it can easily fool the readers too.
    • Enemy Boss Leader reveals that the way to kill Admiral Awesome is to shoot him in the head. Subverted when it turn out not to actually work though.
  • In Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Supergirl crossover The Vampire of Steel, Willow sees Buffy and Kara hugging and deduces they must be friends.
    Buffy Summers, in jeans, T-shirt, and bare feet, holding the wet cloth to her forehead by one hand, raised her upper body off the couch. “Kara?” she said, her eyes widening in recognition.
    “It’s me, Buffy,” Kara said with a smile. In a second, the Slayer girl and the Girl of Steel were in each other’s arms, hugging.
    “Well,” said Willow, noting that Giles had just entered the room, “I guess they do know each other, after all.”
    “Remarkably observant, Willow,” noted Giles.
  • In Infinity, Chrono's response being told that criminals are running away is "we should catch them, then." This earns him some snark from Fate.
  • In Neither a Bird nor a Plane, it's Deku!, the narration frequently dips into this for comedy.
    In all honesty, he didn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t a red-colored shark head sitting atop a bundle of tentacles. It was hard to expect something like that.


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