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Funny / Soviet Womble Arma

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Arma3 Bullshittery

     Part 1 
  • The very first scene has the ZF clan on a night mission climbing up a hill, but Gambit is behind because he's slowly crawling/slowly scooting forward. Cyanide joins him, and they decide to have a race, complete with another member using his laser sight as a finishing line. Then, as Cyanide draws near and complains about how the line is slanted against him, Gambit simply shoots him and wins.
    Soviet: And it's a photo finish!
    • In the same mission, they manage to successfully take down a helicopter using a turret. As they're laughing and congratulating each other:
    Soviet: Ahh, that wasn't friendly, was it?
    Teammate: I hope not. (laughs)
  • As Soviet gathers intel at a target location, Cyanide nervously notices something and asks "Why have we called for fire support at 225199?" Their current location.
    Soviet: Team 1! Team 1, fucking scatter! Team 1, fucking scatter, now!
  • Shortly after the above, Soviet summarises both Team 1 (Consisting of himself, Kaffe, Pozzie and Quebec) as the "heavy fire and assault squad" and Team 2 (Consisting of Cyanide and Gambit) as the "squad that dicks around and fucks the other team when they're not looking", complete with individual summaries, with Soviet's being a self ego boost while Cyanide is referred as a "curry eating, teamkilling fucktard" and Gambit is referred as a "clone of motherfucking Hermann Goring"
  • The clan heads out in a truck, which they all treat as a wild joyride, complete with gleefully jumping over a steel fence. Then they collide head-on with an enemy vehicle, which flips them all backwards.
    Saggy: inb4 we flip and all die
  • The team lays low in the grass as enemy soldiers are nearby and scouting the area. The game's Artificial Stupidity rears its hilarious head as several enemies walk into a prone teammate and even push his model around without noticing him.

     Part 2 

     Part 3 

     Part 4 

     Part 5 
  • As Soviet debriefs his squad on the mission, Cyanide gets bored and shoves a mine detector in his face mid-lecture. His confusion is already hilarious, but then others start following in, then Cyanide instead pretends it's a selfie stick, to which everyone, Soviet included, decides to join in for, complete with a title card resembling a real life military group selfie.
  • (while in a helicopter) "Can we not be 5 metres from the ocean surface, please?"
    Cyanide: I really like dolphins, I really wanna see one!
    Passenger Soldier: Lower, please!
  • Soviet and Cyanide's mundane amusement at the "next-gen hand gestures" of an AI officer giving a debrief at the base.
    • It's even better than that. That officer giving them the debrief is the "Game Master" of Arma3's Zeus Mode, meaning he's an actual player — Quebec, to be more specific.
  • Soviet having to convince Cyanide that he needs to help rescue the hostages before he can play with the digger they found. Eventually he gets Cyanide to move by promising him that he can bring the hostages back and show them the digger.
    • Then the squad finds a larger digger, and they all go up it, except for Cyanide who Soviet ordered to stay on a hill.
    Soviet: Aw man, this digger is amazing, isn't it, Ross? Isn't this the greatest digger you've ever seen?
    (Bullet flies by him)
    Soviet: Okay, he's shooting at us! Cyanide is shooting at us!
  • When Cyanide is put in charge of a squad, he expresses annoyance with their improper positioning, tossing a grenade and killing three of them as they bunch up together just to give them a lesson about spacing.
  • "It's really fucking simple. I wouldn't recommend shooting at me, because your gun goes pew pew but my fucking gun goes..." '30mm Gatling Gun whirring'
  • Cyanide attempting to impose Zen on the server:
    Cyanide: SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'm trying to impose Zen, you dumb bitch!
    Random 1: Woooooooooo...
    Random 2: Weeengwoooo...
    Cyanide: BZZZZBBZZZBZZBXZBZZXZXZBZZZXZZZZT!!!
    Soviet: AAAAHHHH!!! Owwwww...
    Cyanide: I win!
    Soviet: There were no winners in this contest!
  • The naming antics of Gambit, who names himself "Gas Chamber", then later "Auschwitz". HE'S GERMAN.
  • "All callsigns, this is Crossroads, be advised. The paramilitary forces in the area have been alerted to your, uh, pre... (stammers) pre-pre-pr-pr-pr-pre... (frustrated) THEY'RE COMING."
    Soviet: (audibly amused) Understood, Crossroads.
    Crossroads: Suck a cock.
  • Soviet tries out some new 40mm rounds. He shoots Zodiac point blank with a buckshot round, and it does nothing. Then this happens:
    Soviet: So this is something called a stun grenade.
    (Shoots grenade at Zodiac, it hits him and just drops to the ground)
    Soviet: Completely fucking usele—(Grenade goes off)ARRGHH!!
  • Soviet's confusion towards nearby bird calls while in a jungle, which he then realizes is just a teammate through the radio. This culminates in a Brick Joke later:
    Soviet: Did you get that?
    Teammate 1: (whistles)
    (beat)
    Teammate 2: Was that a bird?
    Soviet: Urgh, just don't ask.
  • The glorious Failure Montage showing 24 ZF members getting wasted in a single mission (at least 6 of which died from friendly fire according to the killfeed), all while "Moving On Up" by M People plays in the background.
    Womble: Jesus, is it just you and me, Aizen?
    Aizen: Didn't we have more!?
    Womble: We had like 12 guys! What happened to the 12 guys we had in our squad 10 minutes ago!?
  • The introduction to Holy'N'Evil/Nevil.
    Soviet: You okay, Nevil? Are you alright?
    Nevil: Eid new bange on myself?
    Soviet: Sorry?
    Nevil: I have bandage but I don't know why I gonda ad bandage do add for some reason.*
    (Beat)
    Soviet: Is he speaking English?

    Soviet: Who's still alive in my squad?
    Teammate: Joep and uh, this guy that can't speak English.
    Nevil: I cam speek Enlish okay!?
    Soviet: "She sells sea shells on the sea shore."
    Nevil: Doeysell on da seesaw?
    (beat)
    Soviet: Right, that's good enough.
  • The squad's annoyance with CartonWaffle using the radio to broadcast the sounds of himself eating.
    Cyanide: CartonWaffle, please stay off the radio, you're using a lot of unnecessary chatter.
    (radio turns on)
    CartonWaffle: Umm...
    (radio turns off)
  • Cyanide gives a briefing of the new base he finished designing for the clan to use, but asks for a moment of downtime when many of the objects bug out and are floating. Womble and the others think it's still functional and shrug it off, up until one of them gets in a vehicle that immediately flips out and explodes.
  • Soviet gets a helium balloon for his birthday. You can guess the rest.
    Soviet: (in a high-pitched voice) Fuck you Cyanide!

     Part 6 

     Part 7 

     Part 8 
  • The entire squad's series of annoyed "No"'s when they realize Cyanide is their pilot.
    • Made even more hilarious when Cyanide fires back with complaints about Soviet being put on his ship.
  • The squad gets told to eliminate a downed friendly helicopter (the mission was either to recover or destroy it to prevent the enemy from recovering it), but Nyan ends up misfiring two rockets at it. Later on...
    Quebec: I heard the order for somebody to blow it up, and was like "Yeah, fair enough, that makes sense," and then there was an explosion somewhere in the next village.
    Cyanide: It was like someone was getting a cup of coffee and then suddenly a fucking rocket pops in through the window.
    Quebec: Locked onto his Gameboy or something.
    (chat laughs)
  • During one mission as the squad are pressing onto a target location, Soviet notices two unknown figures in the distance, calls in an air strafe (to Cyanide, who for his mission was callsigned "Bamboonium") and shoots them down... and then another squadmate correctly identifies them as civilians.
    Soviet: Wait, you're kidding me!?
    Teammate 1: I don't see civilians anymore.
    Soviet: Oohhhh... [...] Err, Bamboonium, wave off please, I think I just called in an airstrike on a civilian target! Ohhh noo...
    Teammate 2: That's a court-martialin'!
    • Later when the squad is investigating the village and checking the casualties, Soviet asks if the blue guy he shot had a gun, and a teammate confirms he does as he plants a gun as evidence.
    • Even later in chat:
      Soviet: My squad basically committed a war crime in the middle of that...
      Teammate 1: You mean you committed that? Not the squad?
      Soviet: Okay, we just wiped out a village of at least 25 people.
      Teammate 2: I'm willing to testify against my squad leader in exchange for immunity.
  • "What the fuck? What is THAT?! THERE'S A GIANT TRYING TO BOARD THE HELICOPTER!"
  • As Soviet is listening to Edberg's mumbling, one of his Twitch notifications pops up to let him know of a re-sub, and when he tries to ask him to repeat what he said, he ends up saying "I can't hear you over the sound of people subscribing."
    Soviet: I wasn't trying to give you sass there, I was being serious.
    Accidental Sass: I can't hear you over the sound of people giving me money.
  • Soviet and Cyanide are paired up as a sniper squad for one mission, and immediately it devolves into a game of oneupmanship of Twitch subscribers.
    Soviet: Saite, thank you user Saite on Twitch for subbing to me!
    Cyanide: TattemWater, thank you so much for subscribing! GhostBravo, thank you so much for —
    Soviet: Robin4TheWin, thank you for subbing to me and not Cyanide, thank you!
    Cyanide: ComradeHedonismBot, thank you so much for subscribing!
    Soviet: Jumitor, thank you for subbing to me!
    Cyanide: Lulabull123, thank you so much for subscribing!
    Soviet: Bailey, thank you for subscribing, thank you! Ragnar112, thank you for —
    Cyanide: Ragnar112—wait, what!?
    Soviet: Shut the fuck up!
  • Soviet finds a go-kart (or Command Mobility Vehicle if he's to be believed) in the middle of a mission:
    (Accidentally runs over a teammate running after him despite not touching him)
    Soviet: You screwed with the chain of command, you got bit, okay, fuck you.
    Medic: (Faintly) You killed him!
  • The Rapid-Fire Comedy before Soviet before his time as a medic.
    Cyanide: Can you repeat the part where you said the stuff about all the things because I wasn't listening?

    Soviet: Why exactly did we capture Asian Tiger Woods?

    Soviet: Cyanide, nothing needs to be said, but somehow I know that you're responsible for that (cut to a floating upside-down tank).
  • The entire Rapid-Fire Comedy section of Soviet being a field medic.
    Soviet: I now pronounce you legally dead.
    Still-standing soldier: Can I get a second opinion?

    Soviet: Shit, I've accidentally given one of you LSD!

    Soviet: Hah, I'm actually pretty good at the medic, I think!
    Teammate 1: I can't feel my legs!
    Soviet: Yeah, I think I've found my calling!
    Teammate 2: ahh...
    Soviet: It's a gunshot wound.
    Teammate: Really?
    Soviet: No, it's AIDS.
    • The following:
    Soviet: Don't mix prescription medicines... unless you're Heath Ledger
    Beat
    Soviet: NO WAIT! Especially if you're Heath Ledger!
  • Soviet's incredulity of a squadmate bringing a ladder into battle... then actually putting it to good use to simply climb up to a second-story window to shoot the targets inside.

     Part 10 
  • Soviet, trying to rescue informant Clarkson in (presumably) Afghanistan:
    Soviet: Hello? What's hello in Arabic? (whispering) Chat, what's hello in Arabic? Don't say something racist, for the love of god don't say something racist. (normal) umm... Shalom. note 
  • Someone having shot an enemy, only to find out they were unconscious when they got shot by that enemy.
    Soviet: That's what you double tap.
    Cyanide: Double tapped Your Mom last night. OOOOOOHHHHHHH (begins spinning around)
    (Is shot by Soviet)
    Cyanide: Fair.
  • Soviet, referencing the time Cyanide was catfished in Part 6:
    Soviet: The town we're in now is called Sofia.
    Cyanide: I don't want to talk about it.
  • During a World War II mission, Soviet's group is playing as British commandos meeting up with Norwegian resistance. To help with the immersion, the Norwegians are speaking their native language, and Cake provided the British with a translation guide and phrasebook to help them communicate. Hilarity ensures.
    • One of the phrases ("Nar er neste pisspreikeriutgivelse?") is translated as "Have you seen any Germans nearby?" In fact, it actually translates to "When is the next bullshittery?"
    • "Cake doesn't get it, we're British. We just point at things and speak English louder."
    • The most important phrase they learn: "Hest kuk." Translation? "Horse cock." Which gets screamed constantly when they meet up with the Norwegians.
  • The climax of the video is a sight to behold: one of Womble's teammates spawns in a Humongous Mecha and tests it out for a while, then parks it so they can listen to the briefing. Womble subsequently sneaks off and takes said mech for a joyride. Cue the Mass "Oh, Crap!" from his teammates while he tramples them and In the Hall of the Mountain King plays in the background.

Antistasi

     Part 9: Antistasi 
  • The video opens with a meticulously edited-together News Broadcast establishing the context for the Antistasi campaign. Among the scrolling headlines at the bottom is text reading "Florida Woman Calls Police on Eight Year Old for Selling Water".
  • As the group starts the game mode, one of the members immediately gets sidetracked by the notice of them doing "guerrilla warfare" and starts singing Gorillaz songs.
    Digby: ♪ Get the cool shoeshine... ♪
    Soviet: Fuck your shoeshine! (shoots him dead)
  • This exchange:
    Moogle: Oh, if you wanna put anything than flip-flops on, now's the time.
    Soviet: No, no, these are my battle flip-flops. I fight with the strength of ten men with my battle flip-flops. Ten really puny men.
  • "I'm wearing a balaclava! But I don't think I'm incognito enough! Double balaclava!"
  • Soviet chooses to name the group "The Badgers", and as he comes up with their battle cry, the footage is cut with an epic Badgers jingle that slowly devolves as the campaign goes on.
    The Badgers, they are The Badgers ("Yeah!")
    They fight for freedom and democracy ("Woo!")
    Badgers, they are The Badgers, yeah!
    • "Ooh, badgers hiss? That's brilliant!" (patriotic hiss)
    • Much to Soviet's annoyance, the rest of the team isn't quite on board with the title, preferring to just call it "Badger", if even that.
      Digby: The Molos Independence and Liberation Front is the name of this organisation.
      Soviet: M.I.L.F.!?
      Digby: For the glory of M.I.L.F.!
      Soviet: We are not being called M.I.L.F.! We are the Badgers!
      Quebec: I've already got a tattoo though, Soviet!
  • "I thought we were trying to make this a dictatorship."
    Soviet: No, we're fighting for democracy!
    Cadsade: Am I the only one fighting for money here?
    Soviet: Fine, you can fight for money. If you want.
  • Soviet claiming that, while undercover, they can just claim to be Bohemia developers photographing the countryside as research if they get caughtnote .
  • The first sign of things to come is the aftermath of their first successful mission, where after capturing a few NPCs as political prisoners, Gatsa sets up one of them as a squad leader, prompting them to literally take him behind the woodshed and shooting him dead.
  • Soviet partakes in another mission, but as they're geared up to go, the player in the driver's seat becomes AFK.
    Quebec: Is it the guy in the right hand seat?
    Moogle: Yeah.
    Quebec: (machine-guns him to death then turns to Soviet) There you go, get in.
    Soviet: Jesus Christ, he was one of us!
    Quebec: Insubordination.
    Soviet: Insubordination!?
    Moogle: Soviet, you can get in now.
    Soviet: Not sure if I want to!
    • During the drive to drop off propaganda pamphlets, they agree to the terms of their proposed system: Digby will only be able to command President Soviet to run the country on Wednesdays and Thursdays, Chairman Moogle on Mondays and Tuesdays, Minister Quebec on Fridays, alternating on weekends. Soviet further proposes that Thursdays be government-free anarchy days (inexplicably represented with a video of a group of people attacking a trash can).
    • After Soviet asks if they're going to drive on the left side or the right side of the road, they decide that they can't so either side any favour, so they're going to drive straight down the middle.
  • One guy gets stuck on a rock and somehow, he can't be killed. Soviet decides to prove it and shoots him point blank. Only he fired a 40mm grenade round. Everybody gives him hell for him and Soviet can only laugh at the fact he nearly killed them all. So he decides to stick to regular rounds from there on.
    Moogle: Next time you're about to kill us all, a little bit of warning.
  • Digby keeps on singing to the point he's the team bard. During a drive, he sings a rather impressive piece of "Men of Harlech" until they come head to head with a Russian patrol. They urge him to sing something Russian. Not knowing a word of the language, Digby fumbles it and they get discovered.
  • "There's a dog up there, don't shoot it." (beat) (shot) "NOO—"
    • Moogle and Soviet are on a mission to recruit NPCs into the resistance, but one they encounter inside a house is bugged out and unresponsive.
    Moogle: You, join us or die.
    Soviet: No, no, this is not what our resistance stands for! We're about justice, and—and like, fairness...
    Moogle: How the hell are we gonna complete the mission if this guy doesn't join our group?
    Soviet: Hearts and minds! It's about getting people on our side.
    Moogle: Just... get in the truck.
    Soviet: Get in the truck, alright. (leaves the building)
    Moogle: Ah... ha-choo! (gunshot)
    Soviet: Augh, for fuck's sake!
  • The return of the Badgers anthem following these actions, accompanied with a darker-colored logo, featuring a badger in more guerilla-style uniform and covered in money:
    The Badgers, they are The Badgers
    They fight for freedom, but mainly money ("That's just Moogle...")
    and a restrictive democracy ("Well no, just democracy...")
    where women can't vote ("Okay, wait—")
    and they kill dogs! ("No—wait, hold on a sec—")
    and spread propaganda ("No, it's not propaganda!")
    and they shot a young man 'cause he wouldn't sign up! ("He was just bugged out!")
    He had a family, they miss him! ("Okay, hold on—")
    No one tell Womble that Gambit's been smuggling drugs ("He's doing what?")
    Badgers, they are The Badgers, yeah!
  • During a sudden ambush, Womble rescues a wounded Poro and takes him behind cover for medical treatment. Once he finishes and Poro gets back up, his mic comes back on to reveal he'd been playing the USSR Anthem during the entire procedure.
  • After a successful base raid, the squad notices an enemy helicopter coming towards them, but it turns out it's piloted by a resistance member, telling the others to hold fire through the walkie-talkies. Unfortunately, Soviet can't hear them over the heavy rain, and he blasts it down with an anti-air rocket.
    Soviet: It's alright, I'm sure they're fine, I'm sure they made it, they're okay.
    (cut to Rorkiy at the crash site screaming as "Psycho" Strings play)
    • After the Friendly Fire Incident, Womble is talking to a Russian soldier who's surrendered about what the Badgers are going to do once they have set up a working government over Altis, and all the soldier can think of is the song "The Sound of Silence" before he gets shot in the head. Womble isn't upset over the blatant war crime that just took place as he is over the fact that:
      Soviet: I WAS ESPOUSING OUR MANIFESTO!
  • One of the squad members is about to shoot a LAW, so Womble and the other member get clear of the backblast... only for the guy firing the LAW to accidentally knock himself out with the backblast.
  • During a mission, Quebec seizes an enemy tank, which inexplicably flips itself over. The squad thinks it could still be salvaged, but when he tries to tow it with a truck, it makes horrible screeching noises and simply refuses any attempts to flip it right-side up again. Eventually, Quebec accidentally causes it to collide with a building, igniting it and its ammunition, killing nearly everyone from the thermal damage as he continues driving around with a flaming tank trailing behind.
    Womble: It's like Greek fire! A weapon to surpass Metal Gear...
  • Eventually, the clan's descent into actual terrorism (including executing surrendering enemy soldiers and suicide-bombing) prompts a third version of the Badgers anthem, with the logo badger drenched in terrifying fire and eating a human arm:
    The Badgers, they are The Badgers
    They're terrorists! ("Oh god, we are, aren't we?")
    They like to eat babies! ("Fuck...")
    And terrorize the populace with suicide bombers! ("Is this what we are?")
    And gun down Russian soldiers that have clearly surrendered!
    Because they're assholes ("What have we become?")
    and thundercunts ("Yeah...")
    and Quebec parked his APC inside an orphanage! ("Oh, for fuck's sake!")
    Badgers, they were The Badgers! ("What do you mean 'were'?")
    From henceforth they have now announced a partnership with ISIS! (plays "Saleel al-Sawarim") ("We're fucking terrorists! We're just terrorists!")
  • Immediately following this, Soviet discovers that his fellow resistance members are using civilians as human shields during a raid.
    Soviet: NO, NO, NO, don't use civilians as a human fucking shield! That is... what!?
    Poro: I am naming him Roberto.
    (long beat as he runs offscreen with him)
    Soviet: We're gonna be fucking tried in The Hague. By the end of this, we're gonna get tried in the fucking Hague.
    • Even worse, they discover that since they can shoot while using human shields, they're actually really effective in combat, to a point where Womble simply gives up and takes the base with everyone else with one in tow.
      Soviet: Fucking hell, we actually took the base, through err... by exploiting the mercy of our enemy, I think. We are terrible people. We are genuinely... genuinely terrible people.
  • Womble discovering that mortars are loud... and that the Russians can hear the sound of a mortar firing... and send a HIND to investigate and neutralise the threat. Cue the Russians wiping out Resistance HQ, ending the game for everyone. In fairness, another player knew that the Russians could eventually zero in on the mortars, knew Womble was playing around with the AI mortar team, and didn't bother to tell him until after the Russians had shown up.
  • The video ends with another montage of News Broadcast, this one establishing the aftermath of the Russians wiping out the Badgers, or as they will be remembered in a final kick in Womble's teeth: M.I.L.F. After reporting on their various atrocities, followed by reports of the newly-vindicated Russian government cleaning up the mess and a Landslide Election in favor of Altis becoming a semi-autonomous territory of Russian, it finishes with the beginning of a report on whether or not violent battle royale video games are causing autism in children.

     Antistasi Part 1 / 5 

     Antistasi Part 2 / 5 

     Antistasi Part 3 / 5 
  • Soviet narrates the in-universe explanation for them opposing American troops (and why Americans are on Altis to begin with) with that oil has been recently discovered on Altis.
  • Cyanide steals Katla's car. This lasts until Cyanide is lying wounded on the ground...at which point mrbatty steals Katla's car. Subsequently, Cyanide blows it up with their only bomb, during a raid so ill-planned that Soviet is the only one with an actual (working) gun.
    • During the approach of the raid, Batty and Soviet take time out to fat shame Cyanide. This is done by pointing at Cy and calling him fat repeatedly.
  • They decide to go and "poke the Yanks". It turns out during the following montage that "the Yanks" have a particular line in Disproportionate Retribution.
    Womble: Is that a drone? That's a drone. We stole some shitty beat-up truck and they send out a four million dollar drone?
    Womble: It's a small checkpoint, we'll be right-[cue gunfire] JESUS FUCK WHAT THE SHIT?
    Womble: Oh god.
    Womble: OH GOD
    Womble: [being fired at by multiple helicopters] So what we're learning is that the Americans have absolutely no chill.
    Digby: Someone in my chat asked how it feels that we've created an insurgency that elicits a bigger response than Bin Laden did.
  • Moogle shoots a police officer.
    Womble: You can't do that, that's illegal!
    Digby: Well, we are running an illegal insurgency!
    Womble: That's more illegal!
  • Womble has a hard time getting his clanmates to not harass the war correspondents. Eventually, he's riding a quad with Nevil, who runs one over, insists "accidents happen", and then steals a car and bails; Womble moves to treat him, and comes to a horrifying revelation:
    Womble: Wait, hang on, he's with the Daily Mail! [opens fire]
    [cut to Womble in the car with Nevil]
    Womble: Accidents happen.
    Nevil: Accidents happen.
    Womble: Yeah, they just happen.
  • "WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS GAME DRIVE LIKE A FUCKING NUTCASE?!"
  • Forward planning is vital.
    Nevil: Mortar incoming!
    Womble: Nevil, where are you firing?
    Nevil: Don't know.
    Womble: What do you mean you DON'T KNOW?
  • Nevil's entire attempt to two-man an American outpost with Womble to "do what men do".
    Womble: "Do what men do?" Get shot?! (looks over at Nevil to see him slumped over)
    [later]
    Womble: Is anyone on this comm?
    Clan Member: Yeah, we're on it.
    Womble: If you see Nevil can you tell him he's a fucking turnip.
    CM: Do you need medical assistance?
    Womble: No, but he will.
  • At the end of it, Womble painstakingly heals up the unconscious Nevil...and then guns him down before he can even say a single full word.
    Womble: Fucking willy.
  • Non-game related, but Cyanide makes the mistake of complaining about his girlfriend Maja, and specifically how she's been acting while on her period, not knowing that she is watching the stream. She spends the next minute giving him a piece of her mind, culminating in the following exchange:
    Maja: You're a cunt.
    Cyanide: I- what?
    Maja: You're a cunt.
    Cyanide: I love you.
    Maja: No.
    Cyanide: No? okay. I... I... I will be whatever you want me to be.
    Maja: I want to be single.
    (later)
    Maja: You're allowed to tell all of the stories about me if you want to, but don't take them out of context cause then I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!]] (laughs)
    Womble: Okay, Cyanide's Hot Girlfriend has been replaced with Cyanide's Psycho Girlfriend.

     Antistasi Part 4 / 5 
  • Womble and his squad call in an airstrike on a factory, despite Womble putting up concerns that there may be children in there. The factory goes up in flames, getting a lot of impressed remarks from the clan - and then:
    Random ZF: Is it bad to be erect?
    • And then they spot Edberg in the nearby ocean driving a jetski...and proceed to shoot at him. He manages to survive the entire experience, even when the squad fires every RPG they have.
    • Edberg then finds he has a sniper rifle and decides to get even.
  • Apparently, Womble owes Nevil $300.
  • The resistance base gets a bit too...loud again, and, like in the first episode, the local government sends air support to take it out. This time around, the resistance is prepared, and quickly down the chopper with anti-air fire....the bad news is, the now-crashing helicopter plunges straight into the Resistance HQ.
  • At one point, Womble has to go to the toilet and leaves in the middle of something important. Edberg knocks on him to get him back.
  • Womble counting his dog's nipples
  • Digby shooting a random civilian.
    Digby: He was killed by an American-caliber weapon, therefore he was killed by the Americans as far as I'm concerned.

     Antistasi Part 5 / 5 
  • Their encounter with a tank that they are absolutely unprepared for. It culminates in a less-than brilliant idea: ZF clan members will compete to kill the tank by ramming it with their cars in order to win 20 pounds from Edberg. Two of them immediately run for the cars with a cry of "I'M A STUDENT, I NEED MONEY!"
    Edberg: Is it too late to say that I crossed my fingers?
  • Womble trying to use a claymore mine to take out a fence so he can go past, doing nothing to the fence but maiming mrbatty, who failed to stand sufficiently clear...before it's pointed out to him that there's a gap in the fence ten, maybe fifteen feet to his right.
  • An enemy A-10 appears overhead, and Katla takes notice of it
    Katla: Hello!
    Soviet: Don't say HELLO at the A-10!
  • Dinklebean's attempt to fly.
    Soviet: Go for it, Dinkle, you can do it! We believe in you!
    Dinklebean: I'm sure I can do it, thank you for believing in me!
    Soviet: You can do it, we believe in you!
    Dinklebean: Why isn't it speeding up?
    Soviet: Yeah, he's gonna die.
  • Soviet's character passes out from blood loss and Dinklebean and mrbatty have a very civil conversation while waiting to see if he recovers by himself.
    Soviet: They're fucking looting my shit while I'm unconscious.
    Dinklebean: Oh hey! Snickers!
  • Moogle repeatedly failing to land a fighter jet.
  • The extended sequence of AI civilians driving like crazy and otherwise being Too Dumb to Live, culminating in a bit where Soviet claims 1300 civilians have died, mostly in American reprisal attacks...and a civilian just runs in front of his car for no reason.
    Soviet: [Beat] 1301 civilians have died-
  • Then an AI resistance driver swerves specifically to run over a civilian.
    Soviet: The AI is learning from ZF, everyone!
  • Womble utterly failing to remember the saying "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush". Eventually it mutates into "you're better than the bush, because fuck vegetation".
  • Cyanide gets shot down and lands pretty far out to sea.
    Cyanide: (singing) Just keep swimming...just keep swimming... (gasp) A turtle!
  • When Cyanide eventually reaches shore, it turns out that he was literally flying by the seat of his pants...as in he was only wearing his underclothes.
    Cyanide: We don't have a dress code in the insurgency.
  • "Someone kill the engine on the truck-" [gunshots] "NO NOT LIKE THAT"
  • Chinny attempts to fire a portable surface-to-air missile...while standing directly underneath a ceiling. A missile that fires directly upwards. Even Cyanide thinks this is Too Dumb to Live.
  • While relocating their HQ, they accidentally leave their commander somewhere and have to go and look for him. It's eventually concluded that he's disappeared into a bug caused by a mod, and the attempt to debug this goes...weirdly, with Soviet being teleported from behind the wheel of a truck to out in the ocean, while Cyanide, who is in the passenger seat, is untouched. Eventually it turns out that this issue actually crashed the host client.
    Cyanide: Oh, this better not be the start to some kind of horror movie.
    • Even better is that before they got teleported they believed that the commander decided to say "Screw This, I'm Outta Here" and ran off with all their cash while in the midst of the firefight.
  • The conclusion is a montage where the wonders of Manipulative Editing imply that the whole occupation and insurgency were just figments of everyone's imagination caused by heatstroke. And so was Cyanide. The video ends with Womble realizing he is late for work and catching a cab into town. While at "work" he hums the Badgers' Anthem from Part 1 and chuckles to himself.

Vietnam

    Vietnam 
  • The video starts appropriately.
    Ümlautt: Womble?
    Womble: Yep?
    Ümlautt: I've received some grave news from my chat.
    Womble: Which is?
    Ümlautt: Cyanide's found the napalm.
    Womble: Oh, fuck me.

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