Tropes Media Browse Indexes Forums Videos Ask The Tropers Trope Finder Media Finder Trope Launch Pad Tech Wishlist Reviews Tools
Cut List New Edits Edit Reasons Launches Images List Crowner Activity Un-typed Pages Recent Page Type Changes Changelog
Tips
Creating New Redirects Cross Wicking Tips for Editing Text Formatting Rules Glossary Edit Reasons Handling Spoilers Word Cruft Administrivia FAQ
Tropes HQ
About Us Contact Us Advertise DMCA Notice Privacy Policy Report Bug
Go Ad-Free Changelog
  • Show Spoilers
  • Night Vision
  • Sticky Header
  • Highlight Links
 

Follow TV Tropes

Following

Funny / Soviet Womble Counter Strike

Go To

Main Page

CS:GO Bullshittery

  • The Running Gag of Soviet getting a high rank without issue while Cyanide gets pissed due to the effort he had to put to get the same, starting with Soviet getting Master Guardian Elite, then Distinguished Master Guardian, and then Master Guardian Elite again. Though this amount of success ends in Part 9 where he gets Silver Elite, 5 ranks below Cyanide's Gold Nova Master to the latter's joy.

    open/close all folders 

     Part 1 

     Part 2 

     Part 3 
  • During a game, Cyanide realizes they left the bomb behind, which was his job:
    Soviet: Whenever you do something awesome, it's "Oh, look at me!", and then whenever you fuck up, it's "Oh, we're a team."
    Cyanide: That's how teamwork works!
  • After Edberg picks up an enemy AWP for the next round, three of his teammates clamor for it, undercut with sounds of "MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!" He proceeds to just throw it on a roof.
    Cyanide: BASTARD MOTHER TACO FUCK—
  • As Soviet picks up a new gun:
    Teammate: Does this one have ammo in it, Soviet?
    Soviet: Shut up.
    • Afterwards, Soviet empties out his gun's magazine right before he dies. 20 seconds later, Cyanide picks it up in the middle of a firefight, and it goes as well as you'd expect.
      Soviet: How does it feel, Cyanide?
      Cyanide: Why would you drop a gun with no ammo?!
      Soviet: 'cause I died!
  • Cyanide's story of how he got a new girl in Teamspeak named Elenii and a regular named Echo together in a room and had them participate in a Jewish wedding.
    Soviet: So, sorry, bear with me for a minute, are you saying you basically took an Englishman and German woman and forced them to partake in a Jewish Shotgun Wedding?
    Cyanide: Yes.
    Soviet: And did she say yes?
    Cyanide: Yes. It irritated the shit out of—
    Echo: No no no, no one said yes, it was just a glass smashed and a mazel tov and everyone said "Yep!"
  • After everyone's attempts to "juggle" their guns by throwing it in the air to catch it again, one of them decides to go the extra mile and shoot his gun mid-air. It flies off onto the roof of a multi-story building.
  • A ZF member named Kaffe plays some soundboarded clips as the group is setting up, much to the annoyance of Soviet. Echo asks for Kaffe to play the "ISIS Theme Tune"... and then Kaffe plays this.
    Soviet: You and I are gotta have a bit of a talk about cultural sensitivity.
    • Later on, Kaffe plays this, which sends everybody, Soviet included, into hysterics. Kaffe's statement afterwards is both hilarious and true.
      Kaffe: It was Twitch friendly because it was censored.
  • The entire second half of the video is dedicated to a session involving a Drinking Game: Drink for every death, and if someone gets a knife kill, everyone drinks (later, Cyanide adds that getting killed by a knife calls for 3 drinks). It doesn't take long for things to go hilariously wrong.
    • Throughout the game, Blair repeatedly complains about his liquor, a cucumber and spinach vodka called "Oddka."
      Blair: Oh, mine is quite alright, actually. (Beat) Oh! Never mind!
    • Soviet started with Southern Comfort, then he went on to a honey Jack Daniels, but when he ran out of that, all he had left was Tequila, and nothing to make it more bearable, just neat Tequila. Everyone sympathizes with him.
    • 9 shots in, Soviet begins giggling uncontrollably. It's quite contagious. It gets even worse as he has to take even more.
    • 15 shots in, Cyanide begins ragging on Soviet:
      Cyanide: (slurred and slowly) Soviet, you can't hold your alcohol worth a shit.
      Teammate: Cyanide, you're fucking slurring yourself!
      Cyanide: I can pronounce the word that was difficult for him to pronounce just now ("Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious") because IIiiii am not dunk.
      Cyanide: THIS, IS JUST, A FORM OF COMMUNICATION, THAT LETS ME, TALK TO, EASIER...
    • Womble notices an interesting piece of graffiti near the spawn.
      Womble: Why's Lenin here? Hello, Lenin!
      Social: Did you just say hello Lenin?
    • A funny background event: One of the players on the opposing team can be seen in the chat repeatedly claiming that the ZF team are hackers and telling them to turn off their hacks. At several points, the rest of his team join in. This starts around the time Soviet reaches 12 shots, and is barely coherent. Apparently, the other team are so bad that they have trouble dealing with several extremely drunk guys.
    • How does the game end? At 18+ shots, Soviet's player character is simply staring off into the sky. Apparently, Soviet got so drunk he physically wandered off the stream and forgot he was doing one.
    • Then there's the follow-up, posted in a (now-removed) Facebook post:
      "So...last night we decided to play some Counter Strike. With the rule "take a shot of whiskey every time you die". Whiskey quickly became Tequila. I have made many mistakes in my life. And last night is clearly making the top 10. I've just gone through the worst hangover a human being is capable of experiencing. I don't even know how many units of alcohol I consumed. I'm being told I didn't even stop the stream, I just wandered off. I found a soggy and defrosted bag of peas in one of my cupboards that drunk me moved there for some reason. I've been going between bed and bathroom every 20 minutes to vomit anything I tried to eat or drink. And at it's worst point, I was head down over the toilet basin alternating between sobbing, puking, and swearing death on a packet of Nestle Whole Grain Clusters because I thought the title "Rise and Shine" was mocking me. Yeah...if anyone is near Brighton, could they come round my flat and beat me to death with a spade. Thanks."

     Part 4 

     Part 5 
  • As the game is setting up, Cyanide announces he's "going to do something people do every day." Cut to sounds of him pissing on stream in front of 1000+ people.
    Soviet: NO WAY. NO. FUCKING. WAY. YOU ARE A FUCKING ANIMAL. YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE!
  • Cyanide's abrupt decision to rebrand himself as the Nice Guy as a response to a Reddit thread. It lasts for all of seven seconds before Nep announces "I'm peeking Banana."
    • Speaking of innuendo...
    Nep: Why do I suck so much today? (cue several seconds of uncharacteristic silence)
    Soviet: No one? No one's gonna jump on that?
  • Soviet comes up with a rather bizarre theory:
    Soviet: I find that I often do better at Counter-Strike whenever I really, really need to poo. I think there's a correlation there.
    Gambit: So you're saying you need something up your bumhole?
    Edberg: Well that doesn't really matter, you're always full of shit!
  • Soviet complains he doesn't want to go to work, to which Cyanide responds that as a streamer, playing games and recording is his "work."
    Cyanide: You are working right now. That pisses me the fuck off.
    • Later:
    Soviet: Can you stop being so difficult to work with? I'm gonna complain to HR. I am a professional CS:GO player and you are not. As in, I do this for a living, okay?
    (Soviet gets killed at a later round)
    Cyanide: "Professional CS:GO player," he says.
    Soviet: I never said I was any good!
  • At the end of a round, Sheep picks up a Negev for Cyanide. Then he immediately throws it over a fence, sending Cyanide flying into a white-hot Rage Quit.

     Part 6 
  • The very beginning of the video, which may as well be an Establishing Series Moment (and is the first video found upon clicking onto SovietWomble's channel):
    Teammate 1: The key to winning a game of CS:GO is to keep good positivity and trust each other.
    Entire Team: Shut the fuck up.
    • A similar moment happens soon after:
      Soviet: Most of us met in DayZ and we've formed an everlasting bond of friendship and love and respect...
      Edberg: Fuck you.
      Soviet: Yes...
  • "That round only took 34 seconds. Name of SovietWomble's sex tape, volume 3."
  • Cyanide: "Sovieeeet! Cake called me fat!"
    Cake: I did not!
    Soviet: You are fat.
    Cyanide: (loud wailing)
    TeamSpeak Announcer: User left your channel.
    TheGuyNamedWaffle: Not sure if he Rage Quit or ate the microphone...
  • During a clever bit of editing, Soviet friendly fires Nep, causing her to turn around with a "Look of betrayal" and get killed by a shot to the back. All accompanied by a dramatic piano.
    Soviet: Sorry, Nep.
    Nep: Are you serious?!
  • Soviet and Kas approach a doorway:
    Soviet: You first.
    Kas: Why me?
    Soviet: Women and children first.
    Kas: I have a... (sighs, then guns Soviet down)
    Soviet: A-hahahaha! BITCH!
  • The clan has a game with two randoms who are speaking in voice chat. Then Cyanide and Nep proceed to spam the voice chat in Russian accents.
    Nep: Motherfucker, I will report you to my boyfriend, do you know who my boyfriend is? It's Putin!
  • " They're going to B." "What are they going to be, Soviet?" "Ugh."
  • Unlike Soviet's usual problem with thrown grenades, one snippet features him throwing a smoke grenade that accidentally hits a small bar of a metal sign, sending it falling through the platforms. Thankfully for him, nobody else sees it.
  • As the clan is organizing in Teamspeak, Cyanide is texting:
    Cyanide: How do you spell "luscious"?
    Soviet: L-U-S-C-C-I-O-U-S-T.
    (beat)
    Cyanide: ...what!? Fuck off!
  • Cyanide is the last man standing:
    Nep: I swear to god if you don't get this, I will fucknote  the shit out of you!
    Cyanide: Oh OKAY! I am not fucking... (completely disarms himself and charges the enemy) COME 'ERE! COME 'ERE! (dies)
  • This bit:
    Cyanide: Give me bomb. Give me bomb. Give me bomb. (Soviet tosses Cyanide bomb) I flash, you run, okay?
    Soviet: Okay.
    Cyanide: Ready? One, two, three, go. (throws flashbang, Soviet runs, in the opposite direction) I'd like for you to know that you're a piece of human shit.
  • "Honestly, the fucking Mars Curiosity Rover gets better ping than I do!"
  • During one game where Soviet is on high ground and armed with a Negev, Nep gets suddenly knifed by an enemy and prompts Soviet to turn around and start spraying out the window. Said enemy proceeds to jump up into his line of fire three times and dies.
  • Soviet picks up a R8 Revolver for one game, and after mentioning he's never gotten a kill with it, Cyanide challenges him to get one kill in the round in exchange for subscribing to him for a month. Soviet takes him up on his offer, but after seeing how crap it is in combat and several back-and-forths on formation, Soviet shoots and kills Cyanide on the basis that it counted as a kill. After a loud and frustrated squabble on the terms, Cyanide gives into his word and subscribes.
  • While in the lobby, Soviet tells the chat the purpose of the stream, that they are raising money for disabled gamers, though he does make a jab at Cyanide by clarifying that he meant physically handicapped rather than mentally like Cyanide, while Cyanide can hear him.

     Part 7 
  • "Why do you have a Deagle, Moogle?"
    Moogle: Because it's Thursday.
    (beat)
    Soviet: (laughs) What?
  • "Cyanide, that's a good point, we now need to reveal that we're the owners of CSGOLOTTERY.CO.UK.ORG, don't we, yes?"
  • The moment when Edberg sees a target's silhouette through smoke and he shoots, but then it turns out it's Moogle, getting him banned.
  • The rather extended sequence of Cyanide relaying random fun facts to annoy the ZF clan.
    Cyanide: He's on Z! And a tapir has the largest penis-to-body ratio of any animal!
    • Other players also get in on the action:
      Moogle: Did you know the whale's average penis size is about 8 metres?
      Nep: Would you be surprised if I said yes, I knew that?
      Moogle: No. (Womble laughs)
    • After several minutes, the entire chat gets fed up:
      Soviet: Unsubscribe! Unsubscribe!
      Cyanide: You have unsubscribed from Cyanide Fun Facts!
      Soviet: Thank you!
      Cyanide: You have now subscribed to Cyanide Gorilla Facts! Did you know—
      Soviet: NOOOO, NOOOO, NOOOO—
  • At one point, Nep gets disconnected, so Womble had Cake be "the eye-candy" for the meantime. He asks her to "moan seductively for the audience"... resulting in what sounds like a soft ghost wail.
    Soviet: (laughs) What was that? I said "moan seductively," not have a fucking seizure.
  • "Someone in my chat is called 'Womble's Dignity' and he just timed out." This is said moments before Soviet comes across a prone enemy, gets up close, but then the enemy unknowingly moves out of the way, notices Soviet and kills him.
  • Cyanide, Gambit, Edberg and the rest of the clan decide to do another "sound test" like Womble asked them to do at an earlier Bullshittery episode. As they make random noises and run off into the distance, Soviet can only remark:
    Soviet: Beset, on all sides, by idiots.

     Part 8 
  • Near the beginning, Cyanide begins with "Did you know?" before everybody frantically tells him to stop.
  • Cyanide, mocking Edberg reaching Global Elite (for the second time): "I'm globul."
    "What? He's global, he doesn't need to hear."
  • The revelation that Nevil types in broken English.
    "i still not BOTTOM FARGH"
    • In a very Crosses the Line Twice bit of humor, the clan remembers that Nevil is divorced.
      Soviet: They had communication trouble.
      (beat, before abruptly cutting to the next scene)
    • Later, Nevil attempts to save* , casually unloading his bullets when the enemy wins as he waits for the next round. The instant he runs out and before the round begins, he gets gibbed by an enemy out of nowhere, causing the entire chat to burst into laughter.
  • Moogle invites Soviet to see something mind-blowing during the warm-up: the second-floor interior of a building that most people miss. Moogle expresses disappointment for Soviet not appreciating it as much, leading to a brief argument of how anyone could see it just from entering the room, then later as they're at spawn:
    Soviet: Can I blow your mind? Look, there's an APC right over there.
    Moogle: Noooo way!
    Soviet: The things you notice when you have eyes.
  • "dis game is like your mother. its a shit."
  • The clan invites a new player to join in a game. It's Jesus.
    Jesus: Just bear in mind, it will take me three days to respawn.
  • The entire bit about Soviet being subbed on Twitch by "Womble's Left Nipple", leading to a brief panic when he realizes his nipples are asymmetrical.
  • After Soviet is the last person alive and plants the bomb, he waits to find the last two enemies. When they show up, they simultaneously open fire on Soviet, then proceed to miss nearly every shot as Soviet takes them both down. This is framed with a dramatic closeup, slow motion, and is inexplicably underscored with "Go Go Power Rangers".
    • He then proceeds to do very well in the following matches, while Edberg does poorly.
    Cyanide: WHY ARE THEY SO SHIT? WHEN IT'S YOU?! WHY CAN'T THEY DO THAT? WHEN IT'S ME?!
    Moog: Why do we never get shit like that? It's like you can see an invisible hand turn down the difficulty just for Soviet.
    • Case in point, during a round Soviet tries to defuse the bomb... only for an enemy to walk up and cover him defusing the very bomb he's supposed to protect.
  • Cyanide eats during the game, and in his words, "When I'm feeling sensual, I become vocal." At one point, Soviet pulls out his dedicated "mute Cyanide" button on his keyboard.
  • During a couple of rounds, Soviet's teammates ask him to buy them certain weapons. In response, Soviet does buy the weapons, but then tosses them off the play area. The second time, after tossing Nep's requested USPS, Edberg asks Soviet to throw his AK in the air under the guise of juggling it, giving Nep the opportunity to pick it up after Soviet falls for it.

     Part 9 
  • When a match is down to the last teammate, Nep says "You can do it, I believe in you." Before she's even done talking, the teammate is gunned down by an enemy.
    Nep: Nevermind.
  • Soviet keeps trying to prefire. He repeatedly hits the wall instead.
  • Nep wonders if Soviet's trying to shoot a shape around her.
    Soviet: No, if I had to shoot a shape around you, it'd be wider.
    Nep: realizes what he just said; promptly guns Soviet down
  • Soviet asks how someone's been.
    Aaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhh!
    Soviet: A good Monday, then?
  • Soviet discovers that the crosshair he's been using for years was actually horrible, given as a joke by Cyanide.
  • Digby is excited to have gotten two kills, declaring that he's no longer terrible ... only to discover the one player he was better than was a bot.
  • Cyanide's reaction to Soviet's new rank (Silver Elite to Cy's G.N.M.)
    Cyanide: (laughs) YEESSSSSS!!! HE IS WHERE HE IS MEANT TO BE! The gods have responded !
    Soviet: I don't belong down here! I'm amazing at CS:GO!
    Cyanide: My entire life has just been validated.
  • At the end of a match, Soviet, no longer having need for the grenade he was cooking, just tosses it away. It hits Cyanide, killing him.
    Soviet: Well, it did some good in the end.
    Cyanide: FUUUUUUU-

Previous

Index

Next

  • Show Spoilers
  • Night Vision
  • Sticky Header
  • Wide Load

Important Links

Ask The Tropers Trope Finder Media Finder Trope Launch Pad Tech Wishlist Reviews Go Ad Free!
Crucial Browsing
Resources
Top