Funny / Red vs. Blue
Wash: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.
Caboose: Not my fault. Someone put a wall in my way.

Virtually every episode of Red vs. Blue has a Crowning Moment of Funny. These are the best ones. Warning: Each folder will contain unmarked spoilers for the previous seasons.
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     Season 15 

Episode 1: Prologue
  • The beginning of the episode is full of funny moments during the new girl's tour. Highlights include,
    • The man in charge threating any slights against him with 'dog shit in your pillowcase'.
    • Him telling the newbie to never turn off her radio, only for someone else to immediately say they couldn't find him, because his radio was turned off.
    • The girl mentioning she's studying to be a botanist, which the other guy responds with, "I've never been much into robots, being from the South and all."
  • Dylan gets into a secure military facility by using 'confusing acronyms', which start out sounding official, but end up devolving into well known ones such as AOL and FUBAR.
  • Near the end when the cameraman, who has remained silent the whole time, is questioned, Dylan responds he's French and speaks no English. Cameraman's response? "Oui."
  • Dylan's Leaning on the Fourth Wall debate with Carlos about how people are getting bored with the Reds and Blues, and that Dylan should do a story on "those monster-fighting sexy teenagers". It sounds like a typical argument between two fans. Made even better by how many viewers instead took it as a reference to the recently released Power Rangers film.
    • Dylan's caller ID apparently has her supervisor Carlos listed as "Grouchy McBossypants".
    • Dylan asks Carlos for two weeks to write a story on the Reds and Blues. This is what follows:
      Carlos: You want two? You got one. You want rope?
      Dylan: You'll give me enough to hang myself with. Thanks a million, honey bucket.note 

Episode 2: The Chronicle

Episode 3: The Mother of Destruction

Episode 4: Chorus Lessons
  • Andersmith's Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness now that he's a cop, which is getting on Bitters' last nerve. When Bitters tells Andersmith he doesn't even sound like a cop, Andersmith insists he's going by the book:
    Bitters: What book?
    Andersmith: Law & Order. Dun dun.
    Bitters: Ugh gross. CSI: Miami for life.
  • A major factor in Jax continuing to help Dylan now that they're going rogue? Once he gets back home, his student loans kick in.
  • Dylan finally reaching the Reds and Blues is played as a Shout-Out to the end of The Force Awakens, with Caboose standing in for Luke. And then he's freaked out to see Dylan behind him and falls over the cliff.
    Dylan: ...Fuck.

Episode 5: Previously On
  • When Dylan tries telling the other Reds and Blues about Caboose falling off a cliff, she finds everyone's a little... distracted. Sarge is driving his jeep off of cliffs, Grif and Tucker are arguing over band names, and Simmons is running around babbling.
    Dylan: Listen, everyone! I have no idea what the FUCK you're all doing, but you need to know your man Caboose is terribly injured and possibly dead!
    Caboose: (Off-Screen) Oh no! Not Caboose! (Camera pans to show he's right next to Dylan) We need to go rescue him!
    Dylan: You— you're okay?
    Caboose: Oh, yeah. You know, I fell down and stuff, but, you know, I landed on my head and that's okay because that's the part that's most used to it. So, yeah, I'm fine, things are good now. I'm gonna go lie down now.
  • Donut is naked half of the episode. Thankfully, he's off-screen until he puts his armor back on.
  • The entire episode is essentially a recap of the hilarious shit the Blood Gulch crew went through after saving Chorus. To wit:
    • After capturing Hargrove, Tucker activated the Temple of Procreation. Apparently, Grif and Simmons were trapped in a closet together during that time. Which they both refuse to talk about before refusing to meet each other's eyes. During the whole time, the only one who didn't feel different was Tucker. Wash wasn't surprised.
      • The video comments also point out the unmentioned hilarity of sex crazed Carolina and Caboose.
    • Sarge was hopelessly depressed after not having died heroically on Chorus (he definitely did not say so verbatim), and started looking for a new enemy.
    • Carolina had a difficult time getting used to inaction, so she tried to get help from Grif in a Shout-Out to The Empire Strikes Back.
    • They found out that their new island was home to dinosaurs. While they debated on whether being eaten by dinosaurs was ironic, Caboose managed to make friends with them. "Because of course he did."
    • Donut accidentally burned down their new bases with his vanilla-scented candles.
    • Due to having lost nearly all of their food, Grif started looking for native plants to eat. The mushrooms he found were essentially, as described by Simmons, "crystal meth on crystal meth".
    • Simmons spent his summer learning Esperanto, a dead language, thinking that it was Spanish for "Spanish".
    • Freckles has a new body! Except it's a literal toy. Freckles' voice is appropriately high pitched and he occasionally goes on "rampages" where the only "casualty" is Caboose playing dead.
    • After selling their movie rights, they built a water park. Wash joined in with the others as they jumped in happiness while Carolina simply gave a deadpan "Yay." And Donut later burned it down, to Grif's great dismay and confusion.
      • What makes it even better is Donut's following explanation:
    Donut: One, lube isn't normally flammable! And B, I didn't burn down the whole water park, just the park part!
    • Tucker, Caboose and Grif tried to form a band, but couldn't agree on a band name (all of which were punny versions of real-world bands with "blue" or "red" thrown in). Carolina tried to join in. Apparently, she's a terrible singer, though no one dares tell her out of fear.
    • Sarge tried to build his own enemy and made a robot army, but it malfunctioned and attacked the dinosaurs. Wash says it was the greatest thing he ever saw.
    • Grif convinced Simmons that Game of Thrones really happened.
      Simmons: That's...awesome! Man, I'm gonna go visit!
    • Desperately in search of a new enemy, Sarge tried to take the fight to gravity itself. It resulted in the Reds losing their jeep after Sarge drove it over a ledge.
      Sarge: Suck it, Newton!
    • They tried to put in place a new form of government. Proposals included: Anarchynote , monarchy-through-swordnote , military dictatorshipnote , matriarchynote  and malarkeynote . When Simmons tried to explain that Malarkey wasn't a form of government, but a term for meaningless talk and nonsense, he trailed off as everyone realized that summed up the Blood Gulch Crew just fine.
    • Caboose somehow ended up in the Upside-Down from Stranger Things. The gang tried to communicate with him through the same alphabet-and-Christmas-lights method, but since it's Caboose, it didn't really work.
      Washington: "Neat." He just keeps saying "Neat."
    • After finding Donut apparently dead, Grif, Simmons and Tucker buried him in an unmarked shallow grave. Except he wasn't dead, and was just skinny dipping not far away. Everyone reacted to seeing Donut naked the same way they reacted to killer dinosaurs.
    • "Wash. Grew. A beard." Carolina (and quite a few commenters) makes it sound like the greatest thing ever, Wash just thought it was itchy. And we, the audience, can't see any difference because of the 24-Hour Armor. This also shows that Carolina has finally succumbed and become just as crazy as the rest of them. Doubles as heartwarming.
    • That very morning, Grif spiked Simmons' food with his "meth-meth shrooms" For the Lulz.
  • The punchline to all of the above is great too. Dylan asks Jax if he got all of that. He assures her that he did, and only then does he start recording.
  • Grif's reaction to the message from Church, knowing that this is the start of another adventure:
    "God fucking dammit."

Episode 6: Reacts

Episode 7: Nightmare on Planet Evil
  • Caboose at one point had a Bop-It. He bopped it against a rock and now it's "sleeping". In teeny tiny pieces.
  • Sarge has gone without sleep for about five days, a reference to another Rooster Teeth production. Jax calls the premise of "sleep is death" weak. Becomes even funnier if you know that Burnie was the one who came up with the premise.
  • Jax attempting to scare Tucker by running around the abandoned city - which is depicted as "Deadite cam." Tucker casually trips him and knocks him unconscious - which Jax describes as "Groovy."
  • While Caboose and Simmons' talk about death is initially sad, it does give us this golden line from Caboose after Simmons claims that ghosts and resurrection are scientifically impossible:
    Caboose: Here's your science, Simmons - Dead friend plus love equals Church.
    Simmons: (confused) I...guess that's...math?
  • We cut to the FOTUS Soldier standing over what appears to be the dead bodies of Sarge, Simmons, and Caboose after getting a distressing call from Caboose, and you assume the worst. Turns out Sarge was just asleep, Simmons saw a snake (a small one at that) and fainted, and Caboose got scared and decided to play dead. Our heroes, everybody!
  • Y'know that ultra-scary soldier the reporters met in Episode 3? The guy who's looking for Tucker? He's actually just a Chorusan civil servant named Spencer Porkinsenson. What he was really trying to do is serve Tucker a class action suit for child-support payments. Turns out activating the Temple of Procreation on Chorus resulted in a lot of illegitimate kids that Tucker's the father of. Tucker appropriately seems very upset, giving off a Big "NO!" afterwards. At the episode's end, he's just lying around the ship, no longer enthused about finding Church.
  • After the FOTUS Soldier leaves, Jax reveals that he edited some clips to make an title sequence for himnote ;
    Jax: So, constructive feedback! I'm thinking of pitching this to the network when he get back!
    Dylan: How did you get him [the FOTUS Soldier] to sign a release form?
    Jax: ...A what-now?

Episode 8: A Fistful of Colors
  • Turns out the Impostors are more sim Troopers, who are a Similar Squad to the Reds and Blues, and at least as quirky as they are, if not more.
    • A particular highlight is when Surge and Sarge debate who's in charge (Turns out Surge is also a Colonel, somehow.) and settle it with Rock Paper Scissors (Or as they call it, "Procedure".
    • Simmons's equivalent is named Gene
    • Moreso, Caboose's equivalent is named Loconote , Tucker's is named Buckynote , Donut's is Cronutnote , and Lopez's is called Lorenzonote .
    • Caboose interacting with Loco is HILARIOUS in that they practically share the same mind.
    • Additionally, both Simmons and Gene agree that "err" is a real word, with Tucker and Bucky both insisting that it's not at the exact same time.
  • After the BGC and the Blues and Reds have taken down the fighter crafts sent by the UNSC, Surge reports that Lopez and Lorenzo were dismembered during the fight, with the two robots ONCE AGAIN reduced to heads.

Episode 9: Rigged
  • Dylan's attempt to interview Sarge fails horribly, partially because of Sarge's own ridiculous paranoia but also because he spills that Temple told him to find out what she knew in a screw up of an I Know You Know I Know moment.
  • Tucker getting annoyed by the Similar Squad routine. When he tries to angrily storm off, he ends up mistaking Gene for Simmons, and when corrected, grumbles, "Just help me with my dramatic exit." He also complains that having Gene and Simmons close by means that "I have to hear this shit in stereo now!"
  • Loco turns out to be a serious Genius Ditz with engineering, and gives a stream of incomprehensible Technobabble that confuses Simmons.
  • Donut and Cronut's innuendo-laden conversation about Russian novelists and philosophers.
  • Doc is back...and he immediately makes a hurricane of analogies about how superior the Blues and Reds are to the Reds and Blues. Donut even joins in. Jax also compares the Blood Gulch Crew to Turkish Spider-Man
    Doc: They are the ding-dongs, and you are the dildos.

Episode 10: Battlescars
  • Wash comes up with a plan to lure the people killing Freelancers into a trap by activating Carolina's recovery beacon. How does he express this to her? By telling her to take off her armor. Seeing as how this came after a tender moment, Carolina is appropriately shocked. Even better, after his explanation, Carolina agrees to remove her armor. But Wash continues to stare at her forcing her to make him turn around.
  • When the Blues and Reds shows up with the Blood Gulch Crew, Wash describes it as the worst possible that could happen, beating the likes of mercs and space pirates.
  • Wash's idea of what the doubles mean is that Sarge created robotic duplicates of themselves. Carolina sounds exasperated when she wants to know what's going on.
  • Remember how Carolina had a horrible singing voice and the guys were too afraid to tell her? Turns out she's well aware, she just liked watching them squirm. When she admits it, Wash jokingly tells her that she's evil.
  • Apparently ever since the Reds and Blues have joined the Blues and Reds in their underwater lair-- er, base, they've been having fish for every meal. The BGC are understandably fed up.

Episode 11: Belly of the Beast
  • When Dylan's hiding spot is nearly found by Temple and Loco, she leaves a small green spartan teddy. Loco asks Temple if he should arrest it.
  • The Blues and Reds distracted Tucker by having him play Halo Wars, claiming that it's a military simulator. When Dylan tells him it's a video game, he simply says that it explains all the micro-transactions.
  • Part of the reason Tucker doesn't suspect the many locked doors is because he thinks people could steal his possessions, or walk into his "masturbatorium".
  • Everything about Sarge's "audition", which eventually degrades (even further) from a bunch of random action movie dialouge to him shouting random movie titles... Including Lazer Team 2, which Jax dosen't think is real.
  • The files on Temple's computer include a folder named "Buckey PRIVATE", and his most recent internet hits include "metafores", "Shakesphere monologues", "evil lairs for dummies" and "How to villain".

Episode 12: Blue vs. Red
  • When Gene and Cronut run out of ammo, they resort to taunting to defeat the enemy. They're not very good at it.
    Gene: You suck! You're- bad at math!
    Cronut: You have table manners that leave much to be desired!
    Gene: You smell like maybe you forgot to wear deodorant today!
    Cronut: Your mother's lasagna is mediocre!
  • Temple and his men capture Lorenzo, his threat attempts keep coming off as unintentionally racist such as threatening to stomp the Goomba, you know like Mario.
  • Temple and Biff discussing what place to shoot Biff so he can leave with a medical discharge.
    Biff: The butt? Are you insane? That's right next to my jingo jangos, okay? Bullets splinter.
    Temple: How about the arm?
    Biff: Arteries.
    Temple: Ooh, the ear.
    Biff: "What? Yeah, I can't hear you because some idiot shot my ear off." No way! *grr* There's got to be some part of the body that's expendable.
    Temple: You just need to get shot in the appendix.
    Biff: If only I was a book.

Episode 13: Blue vs. Red Part 2
  • When told she's going on a mission with the simulation troopers, Carolina vehemently insists she would never be on a mission with those simulation idiots.
  • When she gets to Blue Base, Carolina finds that to keep the Reds from finding their flag, the Blue Team buried it, then lost the map. Since they need both flags to win the 'War', Loco made a new flag from a stick and blue briefs.
  • The Blues and Reds watch the fight between Tex and Carolina they decide to put their own soundtrack to it. Things like high action music, Bruce Springsteen, and a Harry Potter audio book of all things.
  • There's also the fact that when the fight begins, the background music shuts off. I mean, completely. Then, this exchange happens while the Blues and Reds watch the fight:
    Biff: Holy mother of awesome. Look at them.
    Buckey: Yo, Reds! Are we still fighting, or- oh, holy shit!
    Surge: All right, men, new plan! Let those two pummel each other to death!
    Temple: The only thing that would make this better is some music.
    Biff: Oh! I got it. I just upgraded the base's sound system. Okay, Shelly, play "Action Mix".
    • Even better, their change in soundtrack actually affects the fight, with the two combatants noticeably changing speed and fighting style to fit the soundtrack to the point where Carolina tells them to cut it out. Then Loco has the base play his Harry Potter audiobook.

Episode 14: True Colors
  • After comparing notes and deciding that the Blues and Reds are suspect, Tucker decides to use subtlety to figure out their intentions. Gilligan Cut:
    Tucker: Are you bad guys?
    Temple: Well, that's all a matter of perspective, isn't it, Tucker?
    Tucker: Ha! Gotcha! That's exactly the kind of thing bad guys say! Oh, holy shit, you're really bad guys, aren't you?
  • A mix of this and Crowning Moment of Awesome, but when the Reds and Blues (minus Sarge and Doc) get cornered, they attach Lopez's head to a missile and launch it, hoping he'll send reinforcements to help.
    Lopez: (as the missile ascends) SHIIIIIIIIIT!
  • Caboose completely blowing Simmons' attempt to be a Reverse Mole.

Episode 15: Objects in Space
  • Episode 15's opening scene is a spoof of the opening stinger to Star Trek: The Next Generation, with Lopez starring as narrator and the ship in question.
    Lopez: Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Lopez. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out life and new civilizations, to boldly go... where no robot has gone before.
    Starring LOPEZ THE HEAVY as Lopez La Pesado
  • Immediately after that, Lopez is caught in a bright light and pulled into a ship. He asks what happened and who's there. Locus then deactivates his camo right next to him. Lopez's response?
    Lopez: Ayuda.
  • Grif has gone full Cast Away, painting several balls with the helmets of the Reds and Blues and doing impressions of them to play out their typical drama. He even taught himself Spanish for Lopez's lines, which comes in handy when Locus arrives with Lopez.
  • Special mention goes to Grif's lines for Caboose, which almost sound even more ridiculous than what he would actually say.
    Grif!Caboose: He's dead! My best friend is dead! Purple pineapple random nonsense bahahgaghahah...
    Grif!Caboose: It's too late, it's over. I'm sad now and forever. There's nothing you can do about it, kangaroo banana kangaroo, my heart's in a pouch.
  • Granted, it doubles as Nightmare Fuel somewhat, but Locus makes his presence known by saying point blank what Grif currently is.
    Grif: (to the volleyballs) Shut up, and listen to me! Everyone, I am so, so...
    Locus: Completely insane. (Grif turns to look at a newly parked spaceship... whereupon Locus deactivates his camo) I would know.
  • Part of realizing Locus is real involves Grif grabbing him by the helmet. The fact that it's Locus on the receiving end makes it even more hilarious.
  • Later when he's trying to prove he's not crazy, he turns around to ask the Doc volleyball, only to find it's gone.
    Grif: Well, that's Doc for you.
  • When mentioning how long he's been alone, Grif spouts out various measurements... including "fifteen seasons".
  • Grif's incessant chatter once he finally has someone to talk to. You can tell Locus is finding the situation rather trying.
    Grif: Cool ship, by the way. I bet that's an awesome side story. Does it have a name? How about the Locus Pocus?
    Grif: Do you have any brothers and sisters? Did you kill any of your brothers and sisters?
    Grif: I thought I was going to go crazy for a while there, but I'm sane as a fiddle. (in a completely serious voice) How many have you killed? (back to chipper) Where did you grow up?
    • As the fandom has noticed, Locus has gone from having a guy in orange who talks too much as his partner to having to partner up with... another guy in orange who talks too much. He just can't catch a break.

Episode 16: Grif Does a Rescue
  • Grif infiltrating the Blues and Reds' base Metal Gear style! Highlights include:
    • Quoting "This is Snake to Big Boss. No sign of surveillance" (unaware that he's already been spotted on the security monitors).
    • The Exclamation Point hovering over Grif's head as he spots a plate of fish.
    • Attempting to crawl through the ventilation shaft, only to get stuck with only his legs sticking out.
  • Even though it was a cruel trick on the part of Temple, hearing Church send a distress signal about Caboose and Tucker blowing up an overflowing toilet was funny while it lasted.
  • At the end of the episode, we see a still-frozen Wash and Carolina, complaining for all the right reasons - respectively, Wash not being able to scratch his nose and Carolina being stuck in a "yoga pose".
  • Caboose sending Temple into a minor Villainous Breakdown just from his continued inability to accept that Church is dead, robbing Temple of any satisfaction over it.

Episode 17: Quicksave
  • Wash is a liiiiittle out of it from starvation and dehydration after Locus rescues him and Carolina.
    Wash: (slurred) Well, as soon as this elevator stops, I'll be ready to kick ass and take names.
    Locus: We're not in an elevator.
    Wash: Oh, well, in that case, it's gonna be up to you three to save the day.
    Carolina: Three?
    Wash: Yeah! You, Locus, and Big Bird over there. (camera cuts to empty spot) What up, Big B!
  • Sarge tries to get Jax and Dylan to say that it was his plan all along to be a Reverse Heel–Face Mole. First, he is very serious about it, and they don't really buy helping him... but then this happens.
    Sarge: Let me phrase this another way... (goes down on his knees) Pretty please with a cherry on top, tell the guys this was my plan all along, ohhhh... have mercy! Don't make me beg! You wouldn't like what it sounds like!
  • After running into Locus and learning he's there to rescue the Blood Gulch crew, Sarge insists on "proper procedure" to decide who leads the operation. Rock Paper Scissors. Imagining the look on Locus' face as he stares at Sarge constantly playing a one-sided game of Rock Paper Scissors in Stunned Silence is the bulk of the hilarity. You can almost hear him thinking "This is one of the people who took down Hargrove?"
  • Locus can only take so much of the Reds and Blues' constant chatter, which results in him raising his voice to the highest octave we've ever heard from him up to this point:
    Locus: Please. (slices Tucker's cell open with his key) STOP!!!
  • The reactions to Locus' jail break.
    Tucker: Just for the record, I hate this.
    Grif: I dig this.
    Locus: (with Caboose somehow managing to hug him) I hate this.
    Locus: I, for one, believed every word of that and found it all very moving, so CAN WE GO NOW PLEASE?!
  • Grif and Simmons' heartfelt talk ends when they notice Jax slowly walking up to them.
    Grif: Uh, dude, what the fuck are you doing?
    Jax: Don't mind me. I'm just getting into position for the kiss.
    (Grif and Simmons look to each other for a moment)
    Dylan: (returns to see Jax lying on the floor) What happened to him?
    Grif: He slipped.

Episode 18: Desolation
  • The reunion between the Reds and Blues and Vic.
    Dylan: Promise you won't kill me. Or him.
  • Vic's description of the new UNSC headquarters' defenses.
    Vic: Oh, this place is decked down like you wouldn't believe! Half a dozen checkpoints, shields, a battalion of troops stationed there, an entire fleet in orbit on the overhead! And... two hot tubs.
  • How they figure out Temple's plan: they try thinking like the Blues and Reds. Cue everyone looking at Sarge and Caboose.
    Sarge: Why is everybody looking over here?

Episode 19: Red vs. Red

Episode 20: Blue vs Blue

Episode 21: Epilogues
  • Vic's Heroic Sacrifice. Not only is it a parody of Epsilon's last scene from Season 13 (Complete with an 8 bit rendition of the music!), but it serves as the ultimate payoff to the Running Gag of Vic wanting to die: as soon as he reaches that part of Epslion's speech about whenever someone sacrifices themselves to save the day, said person is the only one to not know the pay off... he begins celebrating finally being able to die.
    • On top of that is the fact that due to being prerecorded, Vic's actual final words were an extended highly glitchy "Duderino".
  • After a massive build-up of energy in the wake of Vic's Heroic Sacrifice, the massive time machine-laser drill completes the crescendo by...disappearing in a cartoonish "pop!"
    Grif: Anyone want to explain what the fuck just happened?!
  • Temple's eventual defeat is humiliating to say the least. After going on a corny Vicious Cycle monologue, Tucker scares the shit outta him with the threat of stabbing his face off before deactivating his sword and punching him out, leaving Temple in a hilarious pose.
    • Also dips slightly into Awesome due to Tucker getting one hell of a comeback in on Temple considering Temple backstabbed just about all his allies.
    Temple: Yeah Tucker! If you kill me you'll just perpetuating this neverending cycle of revenge and retaliation! My frriends will avenge me!
    Tucker: What friends?
    Tucker: (snarled) Dickhead.
  • Wash is fine, being taken care of by Dr. Grey on Chorus! According to the Lieutenants and Sister, he claimed he had an important message for the Reds and Blues - before he started singing the Duck Tales theme song and fell asleep.
  • Dylan and Jax's heartwarming talk is completely derailed when Jax clarifies that when he said he'd "never forget this" he meant because of the case of PTSD he'd developed.
  • When Dylan calls Carlos Trabka at the very end to finally deliver her story, his attitude is...remarkably pleasant. This is because when Dylan took his nephew and a starship to pursue the story on her own, he had a complete breakdown and had to be prescribed sedatives. The kind that are usually reserved for horses.
    • And then Dylan brings up how Jax is recovering from multiple gunshot wounds, and the ship is completely totaled. Carlos' serenity starts to slip. Then Dylan says she's got the story, but it'll have to wait. Cue Carlos finally losing his mind:
    Carlos Trabka: I'm not waiting! Don't you dare hang up on me, all right?! I am NOT above putting out a contract on your stinking, filthy, pencil-headed little life, Dylan! Ahahahahaha!
    Dylan Andrews: Yo dude, take a chill pill.
  • Lopez' head dumped into the ocean.
  • The Blues and Reds getting served fish in prison.
  • We actually get to hear Carolina singing in the end credits! And it's ...appropriately awful.
  • The last stinger during the credits? Church still having no idea what the fuck the thing with Caboose and the time portal was about.
    Church: What the actual fuck? All right, well, I'm just gonna try to forget that ever happened and never bring it up again.

    Mini Series 

Out of Mind
  • Delta is analytical, but proves to be quite human in his quips.
    Tactical matrix is incalculable, outcome is uncertain, chance of success is unknown... but a little payback would be nice.
    (in response to "Just one of the things that makes us human") Excellent point, York. I was not looking at it from a flawed perspective. I will try to do so in the future.
    Oh, so it is pride. I was registering an emotion, but I incorrectly categorized it as stupidity.
  • The final dialogue:
    Tex: You know what? You don't have to tell me. All I have to do is pummel you senseless, rip off your helmet, and access your communication logs. I'll know exactly where he is.
    Wyoming: Uh, hm. I see. Well in that case, perhaps I shall tell you.
    Tex: Nah, I like my way better. [bashes Wyoming's head]

Recovery One

  • Sarge, wanting to get their new base in Valhalla up and running, sends Grif up to the very top of the structure. Eventually, Grif finds that some wreckage is blocking something, and Simmons suggests using a grenade to clear it.
    Grif: Is that safe?
    Simmons: None of this is safe! You wanna start analyzing now?
    • Earlier, Sarge sends Simmons to spy on Blue Base, where Simmons has an encounter with Caboose. He returns to report...
      Simmons: Well, [the base] isn't running on brain power, I can tell you that.
      Sarge: Oh, good! That means Grif can still be used as a reliable fuel source!
    • Grif climbs up the tower to examine the port, and yells his findings down to Sarge and Simmons at ground level:
      Grif: I think it's blocked!
      Sarge: What?
      Grif: It's blocked!
      Sarge: What's blocking it?
      Grif: It looks like a bunch of pieces of a ship!
      Sarge: That's disgusting! Who would climb all the way up there just to do that?
      Grif: I said shi-puh!

  • In "Episode 3: There Goes the Neighborhood" Sarge and Grif finally make it to the Reach version of Blood Gulch after being stranded across the map and getting stuck in Firefight Mode, respectively. There, Simmons reveals that he's had to defend Red Base from the Blues, and in the background the Blue Team is attacking each other.
    Sarge: Simmons, why are they shooting at each other?
    Simmons: Oh, I told them that if they didn't attack us, I would trade them my pre-order code for the exclusive chest piece. Now they're fighting each other to see who gets it.
    Caboose: Marco!
    Grif: But you already used your code. You're wearing it!
    Simmons: Yeah, but they don't know that.

Where There's a Will, There's a Wall
  • Sarge wants to take down the wall behind Red Base to see what's on the other side. His first idea? send a Warthog (Driven by Grif) down a ramp to smash through it. Lopez's Hispanic deadpan commentary only drives the humor home.
    • Meanwhile, the Blues have gotten a Pelican chopper. Each soldier has an Imagine Spot;
      • Church wants to pull a Screw This, I'm Outta Here!.
      • Tucker wants to pick up chicks.
      • And Caboose? His thought balloon just has a floating wreckage of what the Pelican used to be. Thought!Caboose looks down at Real!Caboose and says, "I have no idea what I'm doing."
    • At the end, Lopez has his own Imagine Spot: He's in the tank, and uses it to kill both the Reds and Blues in one shot.

  • When Grif is apparently kidnapped, Sarge calls Command and and VIC (!) forwards him to Doc. Sarge wants Doc's to fill in, but runs into a problem.
    Sarge: Don't tell me you're still one of those lame Paci-whatevers.
    Doc: Pacifists. Yeah, Sarge, I still am. You don't just turn it off when it's convenient. It's not like being a vegan.

  • The Commissioner is hilarious, due to his smug voice and how swiftly he diverts any criticisms towards his management style.

    PSAs and Other Videos 
  • The end of the "Real Life vs. The Internet" PSA:
    • Where they come to politics:
      —REAL LIFE—
      Church: Look, that's just the way I feel about it.
      Sarge: Well I disagree, but I respect your opinion.
      Church: You deserve to DIE! Die and go to hell and be burned!
      Sarge: Oh, yeah?! Well, I hope you get raped! Twice! Maybe then you feel different! Jerk!
      Grif: We don't need to find any weapons of mass destruction! We just need to WANT to find them! That's the way it works!
      Doc: Would you like to change your home page to
      Donut: Politics make me soooo horny! Check out my webcam picks at!
    • The best part of this whole exchange is that the domain name is registered to Geoff Ramsey, Grif's voice actor.
    • Or when they discuss checking your mail:
      —REAL LIFE—
      Church: Bills, bills, bills... coupon. Great.
      Simmons: Pardon me, my friend, but I am Nigirean Roylty, and I need you to send me money. Please ignore the fact that I can't spell "Nigerian." Or "royalty."
      Doc: Would you like to refinance your home? Mortgage rates have never been lower! 
      Grif: Hey, Church! We have all the filthiest sluts on the internet. They're hopped up on herbal Viagra and waiting for you!
      Doc: You could put it in escrow!
    • Earlier in the vid is Gustavo Sorola's (Simmons' VA) favorite quote of the series:
      Simmons: I hate you! And I hate the bands you like!
  • One word: Grifball. Eventually became an Ascended Meme.
  • The "Game On" PSA. "Can we stop that fucking horn already!"
  • Everyone was busy during the "Columbus Day" PSA... so they let Caboose host it. Epic Hilarity Ensues.
  • The Valentine's Day PSA. Caboose mourns over celebrating without Church and remembers their "tradition".
    Caboose: Hey Church! Happy Valentine—
    Church: Get the fuck away from me.
  • Outtakes from Reconstruction. Notable moments are "AUTOBOTS, TRANSFORM!" (followed by his absurdly deep "OH MY GOD"), Scottish!Wash, and the Meta teabagging. Not to mention Church's terrible singing of "I Kissed a Girl."
  • Church attempting to describe Sergeant Johnson's Memetic Badassitude in the last Halo 3: ODST promotional video.
    Church: Sergeant Johnson is as tough as they come. They say he's a strong as an ox, and as agile as... a... smaller ox.
    Sarge: What?
    Church: He moves like a whisper, that you only say to the wind at midnight.
    Simmons: Why would you do that? That doesn't make any sense.
    Church: He's as cunning as a fox, taking a... pottery class at a... Ivy League university... that accepts foxes!
    Grif: Wow. You're not very good at analogies, are you?
  • From the Sixth Anniversary PSA:
    Sarge: Why are you still in character?
    Lopez: Don't Fuck with my Method.
  • The Fire Safety PSA in all of its glory.
    "You may be asking yourself: what is fire? If you're asking that, it's because you're an idiot. You'll probably ask things like 'What am the sky?' and 'How does eat food?' Even cavemen knew what fire was, you dumbass."
  • In their Olympics PSA, Sarge gets the idea to give medals of enriched uranium to the losers.
  • "What I Did On My Summer Vacation.": Caboose gets caught up in the Halo: Reach campaign.
    • When Caboose and Jorge are blasting into space.
      Caboose: Man, I can't wait to touch all of these buttons.
      Jorge: Don't touch any buttons.
      Caboose: ...Touch.
      Jorge: (Ejected into space) Cabooooose~!
    • In Dr. Halsey's introductory cutscene:
      Dr Halsey: Do you have it? (referring to the package)
      Caboose: No, you won't let go of it.
      Dr Halsey: Say the words please.
      Caboose: The words please.
      Jun: What?
    • When Caboose gets dropped off back at Blood Gulch from orbit.
      Caboose: Goodbye. Thank you for the ride. You are my new best friends and I will never forget you. You probably can't hear me though because everyone knows there's no oxygen on a rollercoaster. I am yelling quieter now because I am further away from you.
  • The Blood Gulch team plays Firefight.
  • Donut's Image Song Donut: The Musical will never not be funny.
  • The Higgs Bozos PSA has Sarge's idea of a scientific demonstration, followed by Caboose going on a lengthy and somewhat eloquent speech about the nature of knowledge, closing with the thought that "People will always look up at the sky, and just wonder why we're here". Then he shouts "WATER BISON POWERS ACTIVATE!" and runs off at super speed. Simmons and Sarge's reactions, both to the speech and Caboose's exit, seal the deal.
    Caboose: Yeah, the universe sure is mysterious. But, you know, what if we did solve all the problems? What then? Would we just live on, forever, happy in our triumph over ignorance? Or is ignorance just a common enemy that, once destroyed, would leave our species without a reason to carry on? I guess it doesn't really matter what the answer is, because even if we could attain supreme knowledge, the thought of it just wouldn't keep us together. In the end, people will always look up at the sky, and just wonder why we're here. WATER BISON POWERS, ACTIVATE!
  • From the Online Survival PSA:
    • Discussing how to deal with Internet Trolls with a Red and Blue Battle Creek Zealot each playing the role of a troll. Just hearing SARGE saying this is hilarious:
      Sarge: (trying not to retaliate) Frowny emoticon...!
  • During the PSA's released to announce Halo 4's release date, Sarge and the Reds are trying to keep the release date secret from the Blues so they won't know to pre-order. The camera then cuts to Tucker and Church, who then casually reveal that they already knew the release date and have pre-ordered. Also, Sarge's song about the date so that they remember.
  • The Gadgets PSA, providing a satire against how new seeming gadgets get replaced by even newer ones.
    Simmons: Ah, Jesus!
    Church: What's that noise?!
    Simmons: It's my cellphone. Donut must have borrowed it. He's always overclocking the vibrate setting and calling himself.
    Church: Gross...
  • The Voting Fever PSA; it's a Call-Back to their Halo 4 announce date videos; with Grif and Simmons trying to trick Sarge into thinking they were out to vote. Sarge forces them to do a pro-voting musical number; with a chorus of ODSTs joining in and Grif having no clue about how elections work. To top it all off, it's revealed Sarge used the song as a distraction to steal their place in line to buy Halo 4. And it turns out the two of them actually did get sick. note 
  • York's Image Song "Come On Carolina", where he complains she's "always being such a bitch" and asks if she could "please stop kicking me", and suggests "playing Halo 4 naked" and "having babies with green eyes".
  • During a live event, the RT crew did a live table read for the then upcoming 'MIA' miniseries. While the regulars were doing the assorted voices (with Bernie doing Vic), they had a pair of audience members doing 'naration' and 'sound effects'. At one point, when Vic is dialing the phone, the sound effects guy made the touch tone sounds play Mary Had a Little Lamb.
    Gus: Hey, don't steal the spotlight.
    Sound effects guy <bows to the crowd>
    • Also, at the end of the 'call', 'Vic' ab libs that Sarge and Doc sound alike. 'Sarge' replies that they don't, but why doesn't he call up Church, or even Lopez.
    • Once, it strays off the script, so 'Simmons' has to note 'Sarge' cut him off earlier.
  • The 'Match Breaking' PSA with Tucker and Simmons giving advice on how to get a date/to get laid. Funny overall, with a guest appearance of Sister, it ends with a Warthog driven by Carolina, with Grey and Kimball, running Tucker down.
    Tucker: Lavernius Tucker, love doctor extraordinHURGWAAauh
    Carolina: Nobody here had a problem with that, right?
    Kimball: Not at all.
    Dr. Grey: Nope!
    • Prior to this, Simmons runs off after a date he'd stood up because she'd sent him a ;) emoticon, which was "getting too serious". She shows up again - after having spent the night with Tucker working the rebound.
    • Prior to that, Tucker approaches a woman at a club.
      Tucker: [narrating] You can then make your presence known by delivering a well thought-out and rehearsed pick up line. Such as...
      Tucker: [shouting over the loud music] HEY HOT STUFF! NICE LEGS! WHAT TIME DO THEY OPEN? SO WE CAN—
      [She shoots him in the face]
  • Sarge and Caboose go camping. It goes about as well as you'd expect. Except that they go camping in Minecraft.
  • In the Relocated commentary Burnie Burns stated flat-out that if a joke is funny enough, the continuity gets temporarily suspended so it can be used, in the particular case the "Sister falling through the ice" joke.
  • Red vs. Blue Blockbuster Trailer
  • Sleeper, a live-action skit, features Sarge, Caboose, and Grif in cryogenic stasis being awoken by a nameless scientist type (as played by Burnie Burns). Not only is it hilarious to actually see everyone in Spartan armor Head Bobbing like in the games, but Grif treats cryosleep like regular sleep, including installing a snooze button on his tube's alarm and begging off for "five more minutes" when Sarge tries to wake him. When the scientist notes that the taste of cryofluid should keep him from going back to sleep, Grif reveals that he "got bubble gum flavor" and a cut to the scientist's Data Pad reveals that he really has flooded his tube with bubble gum flavored cyrogenic fluid. Everyone else apparently got "scrotum flavor."
  • Simmons interrupting the ASMR PSA (just in time to cover up Caboose removing his helmet) with an Anonymous-style warning. He then leaks all of their personal files to each other, including his own. He gets tackled by Tucker and Grif after they feign sympathy for him and walk off-screen to find him inside the base under the pretense of giving him a hug.
    • Caboose wanting to role-play as a dragon and book-ending the video by asking if they were still going to do that.
    • The content that Simmons leaks is ridiculous:
      • Tucker's Slash Fic collection about himself.
      • Nude pictures of Sister, much to Grif's embarrassment.
        Tucker: Aaaand saved. You know, for later. To give back to her.
      • A screenplay for a Sarge movie sequel written by Simmons himself, though Simmons didn't mean to leak that.
      • A nude picture of Donut, though not leaked by Simmons, but by Donut himself unsurprisingly.
  • One bonus video proported to show that before Nathan Zellner was cast as the alien in Blood Gulch Chronicles, they had the other cast members audition for the role. The result was a video of the various VAs doing it in character of their roles.
    Caboose: I AM AN ALIEN!
  • From their Season 6 outtakes. "Butts" by Burnie Burns.
  • After Season 14, RT put out a short non-machinima video using a 360 setup. It's pretty simple, with Grif and Simmons talking on top of their base, with Grif going over what he thinks would be the perfect way of robbing somebody: Wearing a clown mask and escaping in a hot air balloon. Meanwhile, if you take advantage of the 360 system, you can turn the camera around, and while the guys are talking, the Blues are in the base stealing the Red Army flag with Grif and Simmons being utterly clueless about what's going on.
  • The next 360 video involves the teams dividing the contents of a supply ship that "crashed" in Blood Gulch i.e. it was shot down by the Reds. This includes the viewer probably the ship's unfortunate pilot, who also doesn't survive the next two minutes.
  • The third 360 video is about Tucker and Caboose and Church and Sarge trying to teach Junior about sex. We could try to list the funny moments but every moment is a funny one.
    Tucker: He can't die a virgin! That's Simmons' job!
  • The fourth 360 video is from Caboose's perspective. The result is hearing Church suddenly talk about friendship at the drop of a hat and Sarge having a pirate accent. Not too mention the drawings that keep popping up.
  • On the Youtube channel, after every episode, the usual shilling of the channel has the cast saying funny stuff. The best is Caboose: "Where am I? [sees the SUBSCRIBE \ WATCH NEXT EPISODE text] Well, that looks nice... [ turns to the viewer ] Oh my god! A giant person! *ducks scared*"
  • This interview has Jack Lee answering in character as the Chairman saying he's not evil, just misunderstood - everyone else is in stitches, even as genocide is brought up. Another highlight is Yomary Cruz channeling F.I.L.S.S. answering "I'm sorry, I'm not able to reveal that information".
  • Caboose's Guide To Finding Your Home, as if the one about making friends in season 14 wasn't enough...