History Funny / RedVsBlue

20th Aug '17 10:08:53 AM cybertoy0
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[[AC: Episode 4: Head Noob in Charge:]]
* Caboose is sent to guard the flag in "The General" shows up, so naturally he assumes Donut is that general. But special mention should be made to Church and Tucker, who not only failed to see Donut enter, but ''didn't even turn around when Donut tried to introduce himself!'' Church just assumed it was Caboose and ordered him into Blue Base, leading to this;
-->'''Caboose:''' Wow! You got here fast!\\
'''Donut:''' Why is everybody so freaking rude in this canyon?\\
'''Caboose:''' I'm not, sir! What can I do for you?\\
'''Donut:''' Finally, someone with a little respect.

[[AC: Episode 5: The Package Is in the Open:]]
* After learning that Caboose gave the flag to Donut, Church tries to snipe Donut, and fails.]]
-->'''Donut:''' ''(Waving the flag in a panic)'' Don't shoot! I'm the one who bought the flag!\\
'''Tucker:''' Oh, great. Now he's taunting us. That's just embarrassing.
19th Aug '17 12:31:04 AM buckyb
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* A huge dose of BlackComedy goes down when [[spoiler:Surge is gradually brought around to Sarge's line of thinking, while the latter has an arm on the former to stop him from falling into lava]]. Of course, the latter decides to [[ShaggyDogStory do a salute]].
14th Aug '17 11:27:25 AM Samothrace42
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* Sarge getting Lopez, Simmons, and Donut to [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext howl and bark like dogs]] because of the coming [[Theatre/JuliusCaesar "dogs of war."]] Jax, who was sent to check up on them, is [[LockedOutOfTheLoop appropriately]] [[ReactionShot baffled]].



** Because Donut is "reddish-white", he's selected to infiltrate the "Whites". He does so by dressing as a hilariously stereotypical white hipster, complete with a tie, hipster glasses he somehow got on over his helmet, and ''skis'', and offers the reporters "poison mocha frappuccinos."

to:

** Because Donut is "reddish-white", he's selected to infiltrate the "Whites". He does so by dressing as a hilariously stereotypical white hipster, complete with a tie, hipster glasses he somehow got on over his helmet, and ''skis'', and offers the reporters "poison mocha frappuccinos."
pumpkin frappuccinos!"
** Sarge is ''very'' skeptical of [[OnlySaneMan Wash]] telling him that they're working together with Dylan and Jax to find Church.
-->'''Sarge''': Red, white, and blue all working together? [[ComicallyMissingThePoint How very un-American!]]
* Despite the scene being largely a [[TearJerker Tear Jerker]], [[spoiler: Grif's]] conversation with Dylan leads to him complaining that "[[spoiler:Church's]] [[TheyKilledKennyAgain died more times]] than [[ComicBook/XMen Jean Grey]]!"



* Caboose at one point had a Bop-It. He bopped it against a rock and now it's 'sleeping'. In pieces.

to:

* Caboose at one point had a Bop-It. He bopped it against a rock and now it's 'sleeping'. [[BlackComedy "sleeping"]]. [[CrossesTheLineTwice In pieces.teeny tiny pieces]].



* Jax attempting to scare Tucker with "[[Franchise/EvilDead Deadite cam."]] Tucker [[CurbStompBattle casually trips him and knocks him unconscious]] - which Jax describes as ''"Groovy."''

to:

* Jax attempting to scare Tucker with by running around the abandoned city - which is [[PaintingTheMedium depicted as]] "[[Franchise/EvilDead Deadite cam."]] cam]]." Tucker [[CurbStompBattle casually trips him and knocks him unconscious]] - which Jax describes as ''"Groovy."''



--> '''[[CloudCuckoolander Caboose:]]''' Here's your science, Simmons - [[TrueCompanions Dead friend]] plus [[ThePowerOfLove love]] equals [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold Church]].

to:

--> '''[[CloudCuckoolander Caboose:]]''' Here's your science, Simmons - [[TrueCompanions Dead friend]] plus [[ThePowerOfLove love]] equals [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold [[TrueCompanions Church]].



* Y'know that ultra-scary soldier the reporters met in Episode 3? The guy who's looking for Tucker? [[spoiler: [[AntiClimax He's actually just a]] [[BadassBureaucrat Chorusan civil servant]] named Spencer [[FailOSuckyName Porkinsenson]]. What he was really trying to do is serve Tucker a class action suit for child-support payments. [[RealityEnsues Turns out activating the Temple of Procreation on Chorus resulted in]] a ''lot'' of illegitimate babies that Tucker's the father of.]] After the fact, Tucker seems very upset, giving off a BigNo. After that, he's just lying around the ship, no longer enthused about finding Church.

to:

* Y'know that ultra-scary soldier the reporters met in Episode 3? The guy who's looking for Tucker? [[spoiler: [[AntiClimax He's actually just a]] [[BadassBureaucrat Chorusan civil servant]] named Spencer [[FailOSuckyName Porkinsenson]]. What he was really trying to do is serve Tucker a class action suit for child-support payments. [[RealityEnsues Turns out activating the Temple of Procreation on Chorus [[RealityEnsues resulted in]] a ''lot'' of illegitimate babies kids that Tucker's the father of.]] After the fact, Tucker appropriately seems very upset, giving off a BigNo. After that, BigNo afterwards. At the episode's end, he's just lying around the ship, no longer enthused about finding Church.



'''Dylan:''' How did you get [the FOTUS Soldier] to sign a release form?\\

to:

'''Dylan:''' How did you get him [the FOTUS Soldier] to sign a release form?\\



--> '''[[spoiler:Locus]]''': [[DeadpanSnarker I, for one, thought that was]] ''very'' moving, so [[SuddenlyShouting CAN WE GET GOING NOW PLEASE?!]]

to:

--> '''[[spoiler:Locus]]''': [[DeadpanSnarker I, for one, thought believed]] ''every'' word of that was]] and found it all ''very'' moving, so [[SuddenlyShouting CAN WE GET GOING GO NOW PLEASE?!]]



* Crossing over with [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Crowning Moment of Awesome]], [[TagalongKid Jax]] helping [[WeNeedADistraction distract]] a machine gun turret-equipped [[KillerRobot Lorenzo]] for Tucker...by [[SeriousBusiness insulting famous Italian filmmakers]] and claiming [[TakeThat "Soccer is boring as fuck!"]]. Which Lorenzo [[FelonyMisdemeanor cries out as blasphemy]] before trying to [[DisproportionateRetribution kill Jax with a tank]].

to:

* Crossing over with [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Crowning Moment of Awesome]], [[TagalongKid Jax]] helping [[WeNeedADistraction distract]] a machine gun turret-equipped [[KillerRobot Lorenzo]] for Tucker...by [[SeriousBusiness insulting famous Italian filmmakers]] and claiming shouting [[TakeThat "Soccer is boring as fuck!"]]. Which Lorenzo [[FelonyMisdemeanor cries out as blasphemy]] before trying to [[DisproportionateRetribution kill Jax with a the aforementioned tank]].
13th Aug '17 8:24:26 PM cybertoy0
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[[AC: Episode 20: Blue vs Blue]]
* Grif's BigDamnHeroes moment [[spoiler: [[EpicFail fails epically]]- instead of dramatically swinging to the rescue, he slips and falls with comical sound effects.]]
13th Aug '17 4:25:42 PM Samothrace42
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* Donut is naked half of the episode. Thankfully, he's off-screen until he puts his armor back on.

to:

* Donut is naked [[NakedPeopleAreFunny naked]] half of the episode. Thankfully, he's off-screen until he puts his armor back on.



** As the fandom has noticed, [[spoiler:Locus has gone from having a guy in orange who talks too much as his partner to having to partner up with... another guy in orange who talks too much.]] He just can't catch a break.

to:

** As the fandom has noticed, [[spoiler:Locus has gone from having a guy in orange who talks too much as his partner to having to partner up with... [[MeetTheNewBoss another guy in orange who talks too much.much]].]] He just can't catch a break.



* Crossing over with [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Crowning Moment of Awesome]], but [[TagalongKid Jax]] helping [[WeNeedADistraction distract]] a machine gun turret-equipped [[KillerRobot Lorenzo]] for Tucker...by [[SeriousBusiness insulting famous Italian filmmakers]] and claiming [[TakeThat "Soccer is boring as fuck!"]]. Which Lorenzo [[FelonyMisdemeanor cries out as blasphemy]] before trying to [[DisproportionateRetribution kill Jax with a tank]].

to:

* Crossing over with [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Crowning Moment of Awesome]], but [[TagalongKid Jax]] helping [[WeNeedADistraction distract]] a machine gun turret-equipped [[KillerRobot Lorenzo]] for Tucker...by [[SeriousBusiness insulting famous Italian filmmakers]] and claiming [[TakeThat "Soccer is boring as fuck!"]]. Which Lorenzo [[FelonyMisdemeanor cries out as blasphemy]] before trying to [[DisproportionateRetribution kill Jax with a tank]].
13th Aug '17 2:35:28 PM Samothrace42
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** Tucker, Caboose and Grif tried to form a band, but couldn't agree on a band name. Carolina tried to join in. Apparently, she's a [[DreadfulMusician terrible singer]], though no one dares tell her out of fear.
** Sarge tried to build his own enemy and made a robot army, but it malfunctioned and [[CoolVersusAwesome attacked]] the dinosaurs. Wash says [[TakeOurWordForIt it's the greatest thing he ever saw.]]

to:

** Tucker, Caboose and Grif tried to form a band, but couldn't agree on a band name.name (all of which were [[IncrediblyLamePun punny versions]] of real-world bands with "blue" or "red" thrown in). Carolina tried to join in. Apparently, she's a [[DreadfulMusician terrible terrible]] [[HollywoodToneDeaf singer]], though no one dares tell her out of fear.
** Sarge tried to build his own enemy and made a robot army, but it malfunctioned and [[CoolVersusAwesome attacked]] the dinosaurs. Wash says [[TakeOurWordForIt it's it was the greatest thing he ever saw.]]



--> '''Simmons''': That's...''awesome!'' Man, I'm gonna go visit!



** They tried to put in place a new form of government. Proposals included: Anarchy[[note]]Grif[[/note]], monarchy-through-sword[[note]]Tucker[[/note]], military dictatorship[[note]]Sarge[[/note]], matriarchy[[note]]Carolina[[/note]] and malarkey[[note]]Caboose[[/note]]. When Simmons tried to explain that Malarkey wasn't a form of government, but a term for nonsense and gibberish, he trailed off as [[DumbassHasAPoint everyone realized that summed up the Blood Gulch Crew just fine]].

to:

** They tried to put in place a new form of government. Proposals included: Anarchy[[note]]Grif[[/note]], monarchy-through-sword[[note]]Tucker[[/note]], military dictatorship[[note]]Sarge[[/note]], matriarchy[[note]]Carolina[[/note]] and malarkey[[note]]Caboose[[/note]]. When Simmons tried to explain that Malarkey wasn't a form of government, but a term for nonsense meaningless talk and gibberish, nonsense, he trailed off as [[DumbassHasAPoint everyone realized that summed up the Blood Gulch Crew just fine]].



--->'''Washington''': [[CathPhrase "Neat."]] He just keeps saying "Neat."
** After finding Donut apparently dead, Grif, Simmons and Tucker buried him in an unmarked shallow grave. Except he wasn't dead, and was just skinny dipping not far away. Everyone reacted to seeing Donut naked the same way they reacted to killer dinosaurs.

to:

--->'''Washington''': [[CathPhrase [[CatchPhrase "Neat."]] He just keeps saying "Neat."
** After finding Donut apparently dead, Grif, Simmons and Tucker buried him in an unmarked shallow grave. Except he wasn't dead, and was just skinny dipping not far away. Everyone reacted to seeing Donut naked [[FelonyMisdemeanor the same way way]] they reacted to killer dinosaurs.



-->'''Jax''': [[LampshadeHanging Ah cool,]] [[AsideGlance (glances at the camera)]] [[{{Foreshadowing}} foreshadowing!]]

to:

-->'''Jax''': [[LampshadeHanging Ah cool,]] [[AsideGlance (glances at the camera)]] [[{{Foreshadowing}} foreshadowing!]]''[[{{Foreshadowing}} foreshadowing!]]''



* [[FromBadToWorse And then Sarge straight up calls it a race war.]]
* Because Donut is "reddish-white", he's selected to infiltrate the "Whites". He does so by dressing as a hilariously stereotypical white hipster, complete with a tie, hipster glasses he somehow got on over his helmet, and ''skis'', and offers the reporters "poison mocha frappuccinos."

to:

* ** [[FromBadToWorse And then Sarge straight up calls it a race war.]]
* ** Because Donut is "reddish-white", he's selected to infiltrate the "Whites". He does so by dressing as a hilariously stereotypical white hipster, complete with a tie, hipster glasses he somehow got on over his helmet, and ''skis'', and offers the reporters "poison mocha frappuccinos."



* We cut to the FOTUS soldier standing over what appears to be the dead bodies of Sarge, Simmons, and Caboose after getting a distressing call from Caboose, and you assume the worst. [[spoiler: Turns out Sarge was just asleep, Simmons saw a snake (a small one at that) and fainted, and Caboose got scared and decided to play dead. Our heroes, everybody.]]
* Y'know that ultra-scary soldier the reporters met in Episode 3? The guy who's looking for Tucker? [[spoiler:He's actually just a civil servant named Spencer Porkinsenson. What he was really trying to do is serve Tucker a class action suit for child-support payments. Turns out activating the Temple of Procreation on Chorus resulted in a ''lot'' of illegitimate babies that Tucker's the father of.]] After the fact, Tucker seems very upset, giving off a BigNo. After that, he's just lying around the ship, no longer enthused about finding Church.
* After the FOTUS Soldier leaves, Jax reveals that he edited some clips to make an title sequence for him;
-->'''Jax:''' So, constructive feedback. I'm thinking of pitching this to the network!\\

to:

* Jax attempting to scare Tucker with "[[Franchise/EvilDead Deadite cam."]] Tucker [[CurbStompBattle casually trips him and knocks him unconscious]] - which Jax describes as ''"Groovy."''
* While Caboose and Simmons' talk about death is [[TearJerker initially sad]], it does give us this ''golden'' line from Caboose after Simmons claims that [[OurGhostsAreDifferent ghosts]] and [[BackFromTheDead resurrection]] are scientifically impossible:
--> '''[[CloudCuckoolander Caboose:]]''' Here's your science, Simmons - [[TrueCompanions Dead friend]] plus [[ThePowerOfLove love]] equals [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold Church]].
--> '''Simmons:''' (confused) I...''guess'' [[MetaphoricallyTrue that's...math?]]
* We cut to the FOTUS soldier Soldier standing over what appears to be the dead bodies of Sarge, Simmons, and Caboose after getting a distressing call from Caboose, and you assume the worst. [[spoiler: Turns out Sarge was just asleep, Simmons saw a snake (a small one at that) and fainted, and Caboose got scared and decided to play dead. Our heroes, everybody.]]
everybody!]]
* Y'know that ultra-scary soldier the reporters met in Episode 3? The guy who's looking for Tucker? [[spoiler:He's [[spoiler: [[AntiClimax He's actually just a a]] [[BadassBureaucrat Chorusan civil servant servant]] named Spencer Porkinsenson.[[FailOSuckyName Porkinsenson]]. What he was really trying to do is serve Tucker a class action suit for child-support payments. [[RealityEnsues Turns out activating the Temple of Procreation on Chorus resulted in in]] a ''lot'' of illegitimate babies that Tucker's the father of.]] After the fact, Tucker seems very upset, giving off a BigNo. After that, he's just lying around the ship, no longer enthused about finding Church.
* After the FOTUS Soldier leaves, Jax reveals that he edited some clips to make an title sequence for him;
him[[note]]Titled ''"The Process Server!"''[[/note]];
-->'''Jax:''' So, constructive feedback. feedback! I'm thinking of pitching this to the network!\\network when he get back!\\



'''Jax:''' ...A what-now?

to:

'''Jax:''' ...'''Jax:''' [[OhCrap ...A what-now?
what-now?]]



* Tucker getting annoyed by the SimilarSquad routine. When he tries to angrily storm off, he ends up mistaking Gene for Simmons, and when corrected, grumbles, "Just help me with my dramatic exit."

to:

* Tucker getting annoyed by the SimilarSquad routine. When he tries to angrily storm off, he ends up mistaking Gene for Simmons, and when corrected, grumbles, "Just help me with my dramatic exit."" He also [[DeadpanSnarker complains]] that having Gene and Simmons close by means that "I have to hear this shit in stereo now!"



* Caboose completely blowing Simmons' attempt to be a ReverseMole.

to:

* Caboose [[EpicFail completely blowing blowing]] Simmons' attempt to be a ReverseMole.



-->'''Lopez''': Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Lopez. It's continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out life and new civilizations, to boldly go... where no robot has gone before.\\

to:

-->'''Lopez''': Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Lopez. It's Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out life and new civilizations, to boldly go... where no robot has gone before.\\



** [[HilariousInHindsight It becomes even funnier when one remembers that]] in Episode 8, Lopez previously [[DeadpanSnarker told Sarge he couldn't provide any intelligence on Desert Gulch]] because he's not the [[Franchise/StarTrek Starship Enterprise]]. Well, ''now...''



* Part of realizing [[spoiler:Locus]] is real involves Grif grabbing him by the helmet. The fact that it's [[spoiler:Locus]] on the receiving end makes it even more hilarious.

to:

* Part of realizing [[spoiler:Locus]] is real involves Grif grabbing him by the helmet. The fact that it's [[spoiler:Locus]] ''[[spoiler:Locus]]'' on the receiving end makes it even more hilarious.



-->'''Grif''': Well, that's Doc for you.
* Grif's incessant chatter once he finally has someone to talk to. You can tell [[spoiler:Locus]] is finding the situation rather trying.

to:

-->'''Grif''': Well, that's Doc [[PutOnABus Doc]] for you.
* Grif's [[TalkativeLoon Grif's]] [[MotorMouth incessant chatter chatter]] once he finally has someone to talk to. You can tell [[spoiler:Locus]] is finding the situation rather trying.
13th Aug '17 1:53:00 PM Samothrace42
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** After selling their movie rights, they built a water park. [[NotSoAboveItAll Wash joined in with the others as they jumped in happiness]] while Carolina simply gave a deadpan "Yay.". And Donut later burned it down, to Grif's great dismay [[HowIsThatEvenPossible and confusion]].

to:

** After selling their movie rights, they built a water park. [[NotSoAboveItAll Wash joined in with the others as they jumped in happiness]] while Carolina [[TheComicallySerious Carolina]] simply gave a deadpan "Yay.". " And Donut later [[ShaggyDogStory burned it down, down]], to Grif's great dismay [[HowIsThatEvenPossible and confusion]].confusion]].
*** What makes it even better is Donut's following explanation:
-->'''Donut''': One, [[NoodleIncident lube isn't normally flamable!]] And B, I didn't burn down the ''whole'' water park, [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative just the]] ''[[InsistentTerminology park]]'' [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative part]]!



** Sarge tried to build his own enemy and made a robot army, but it malfunctioned and attacked the dinosaurs. Wash says [[TakeOurWordForIt it's the greatest thing he ever saw.]]

to:

** Sarge tried to build his own enemy and made a robot army, but it malfunctioned and attacked [[CoolVersusAwesome attacked]] the dinosaurs. Wash says [[TakeOurWordForIt it's the greatest thing he ever saw.]]



--->'''Washington''': "Neat." He just keeps saying "Neat."

to:

--->'''Washington''': [[CathPhrase "Neat." "]] He just keeps saying "Neat."



** After [[spoiler: Sarge's]] touching apology to his friends for his [[spoiler: [[FaceHeelTurn Face-Heel Turn]]]], [[spoiler: Locus]] gets this gem while growing [[NotSoStoic increasingly impatient with the Reds and Blues' not following him out of the cellblock]].
--> '''[[spoiler:Locus]]''': [[DeadpanSnarker I, for one, thought that was]] ''very'' moving, so [[SuddenlyShouting CAN WE GET GOING NOW PLEASE?!]]



* [[spoiler:Vic]]'s description of the [[spoiler:[=UNSC=] headquarters]] defences.

to:

* [[spoiler:Vic]]'s description of the [[spoiler:[=UNSC=] headquarters]] defences.[[spoiler:new [=UNSC=] headquarters']] defenses.



* To keep viewers from feeling sorry for the rest of the Blues and Reds' Grunts, the ones stationed outside are such immoral jerks that it CrossesTheLineTwice.
** One grunt makes an offensive comment about global warming, resulting in being shot by Tucker, run over by Sarge, then kicked by Grif.
* As everyone else helps in the big battle, Caboose contributes by... tying enemy soldiers' shoelaces together. The extra-funny part is that it actually ''works''!
** Afterwards, Caboose proceeds to duck-walk circles around Tucker and boast about his stealth skills.
* Tucker's method of dealing with an enemy tank is [[CherryTapping punching it over and over again]]. And ''it works''. Eventually.

to:

* To keep viewers from feeling sorry for the rest of the Blues and Reds' Grunts, the ones stationed outside are such [[AssholeVictim immoral jerks jerks]] that it CrossesTheLineTwice.
** One grunt Grunt makes an offensive comment about global warming, resulting in being [[HumiliationConga him getting shot by Tucker, run over by Sarge, then and finally kicked by Grif.
Grif]].
* Grif using [[ChekhovsGag the Meth-Meth Shrooms]] to gain [[ComicBook/TheFlash Flash-level]] [[SuperSpeed Super Speed]] powers and effortlessly take out most of the Grunts.
* As everyone else helps in the big battle, Caboose contributes by... [[BrickJoke tying enemy soldiers' shoelaces together.together]]. The extra-funny part is that it actually ''works''!
** Afterwards, Caboose proceeds to duck-walk circles around Tucker and [[HighlyVisibleNinja boast about his stealth skills.
skills]].
* Tucker's method of dealing with an enemy tank is [[CherryTapping punching it over and over again]]. And ''it works''. Eventually.
[[OverlyLongGag Eventually]].
* Crossing over with [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Crowning Moment of Awesome]], but [[TagalongKid Jax]] helping [[WeNeedADistraction distract]] a machine gun turret-equipped [[KillerRobot Lorenzo]] for Tucker...by [[SeriousBusiness insulting famous Italian filmmakers]] and claiming [[TakeThat "Soccer is boring as fuck!"]]. Which Lorenzo [[FelonyMisdemeanor cries out as blasphemy]] before trying to [[DisproportionateRetribution kill Jax with a tank]].
13th Aug '17 10:32:19 AM RorschmarkXII
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to:

** Afterwards, Caboose proceeds to duck-walk circles around Tucker and boast about his stealth skills.
* Tucker's method of dealing with an enemy tank is [[CherryTapping punching it over and over again]]. And ''it works''. Eventually.
13th Aug '17 8:50:11 AM DKN117
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to:

* As everyone else helps in the big battle, Caboose contributes by... tying enemy soldiers' shoelaces together. The extra-funny part is that it actually ''works''!
11th Aug '17 2:50:50 PM Wiseoung-5
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to:

** One grunt makes an offensive comment about global warming, resulting in being shot by Tucker, run over by Sarge, then kicked by Grif.
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