History Funny / RedVsBlue

25th May '17 2:21:22 PM Gregzilla
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** Sarge has gone without sleep for about five days, a reference to another Rooster Teeth production. Jax calls the premise [[SelfDeprecation lame]].

to:

** Sarge has gone without sleep for about five days, a reference to [[Series/Day5 another Rooster Teeth production. production]]. Jax calls the premise of "sleep is death" [[SelfDeprecation lame]].
25th May '17 11:45:42 AM Viira
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Every episode of ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'' has a Crowning Moment of Funny. These are the best ones. '''Watch for unmarked spoilers in the folders below.'''

to:

Every episode of ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'' has a Crowning Moment of Funny. These are the best ones. '''Watch for '''Warning: Each folder will contain unmarked spoilers in for the folders below.previous seasons.'''



-->'''Grif:''' That's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? Why ''are'' we here? Are we the product of some cosmic coincidence? Or is there a Creator... with a plan. I dunno, but the thought keeps me up at night, man.
-->'''Simmons:''' ...What? I meant, why are we out ''here'', in this canyon?

to:

-->'''Grif:''' That's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it? Why ''are'' we here? Are we the product of some cosmic coincidence? Or is there a Creator... with a plan. I dunno, but the thought keeps me up at night, man.
-->'''Simmons:''' ...
man.\\
'''Simmons:''' ...
What? I meant, why are we out ''here'', in this canyon?



-->'''Tucker:''' …What are they talking about?
-->'''Church:''' ...Y'know what? I fucking hate you.

to:

-->'''Tucker:''' …What -->'''Tucker:''' ...What are they talking about?
-->'''Church:''' ...
about?\\
'''Church:''' ...
Y'know what? I fucking hate you.



---> '''Sarge''': See these tow hooks? They look like tusks. Now what kind of animal has tusks?
---> '''Grif''': A walrus.
---> '''Sarge''': Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?

to:

---> '''Sarge''': See these tow hooks? They look like tusks. Now what kind of animal has tusks?
--->
tusks?\\
'''Grif''': A walrus.
--->
walrus.\\
'''Sarge''': Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?



---> '''Tucker:''' You can't pick up chicks in a tank.
---> '''Church:''' Oh, you know what? You could bitch about anything, couldn't you? We're gonna get a tank, and you're worried about chicks- what chicks are we gonna pick up, man?! And secondly, how are you gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?

to:

---> '''Tucker:''' --->'''Tucker:''' You can't pick up chicks in a tank.
--->
tank.\\
'''Church:''' Oh, you know what? You could bitch about anything, couldn't you? We're gonna get a tank, and you're worried about chicks- what chicks are we gonna pick up, man?! And secondly, how are you gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?



-->'''Doc''': I'm a pacifist.
-->'''Caboose''': You're a thing that babies suck on?
-->'''Tucker''': [[CrossesTheLineTwice No, dude, that's a pedophile.]]

to:

-->'''Doc''': I'm a pacifist.
-->'''Caboose''':
pacifist.\\
'''Caboose''':
You're a thing that babies suck on?
-->'''Tucker''':
on?\\
'''Tucker''':
[[CrossesTheLineTwice No, dude, that's a pedophile.]]



--> '''Grif:''' But how'd you get out of there?! I tied you up and poured ''concrete'' over the grave! Just in case you turned into a zombie!
--> '''Sarge:''' Yes, but you made one crucial mistake: you left me my spoon.
--> '''Grif:''' NO!
--> '''Sarge:''' That's right! I '''ate''' my way out! The soft earth was like a delicious butterscotch brownie to me!

to:

--> '''Grif:''' But how'd you get out of there?! I tied you up and poured ''concrete'' over the grave! Just in case you turned into a zombie!
-->
zombie!\\
'''Sarge:''' Yes, but you made one crucial mistake: you left me my spoon.
-->
spoon.\\
'''Grif:''' NO!
-->
NO!\\
'''Sarge:''' That's right! I '''ate''' my way out! The soft earth was like a delicious butterscotch brownie to me!



--> '''Church:''' All right, get ready to launch Operation Circle of Confusion.
--> '''Tucker:''' Uh, Church? It kinda looks more like a triangle from down here.
--> '''Church:''' What?
--> '''Tucker:''' I'm just saying, it doesn't look much like a circle. It looks more like we're forming a triangle. Just a side note.
--> '''Church:''' OK, fine. Triangle of Confusion! Rhombus of Terror! [[RuleOfThree Parabola of Mystery!]] Who cares? ''Get the goddamn show on the road!''

to:

--> '''Church:''' All right, get ready to launch Operation Circle of Confusion.
-->
Confusion.\\
'''Tucker:''' Uh, Church? It kinda looks more like a triangle from down here.
-->
here.\\
'''Church:''' What?
-->
What?\\
'''Tucker:''' I'm just saying, it doesn't look much like a circle. It looks more like we're forming a triangle. Just a side note.
-->
note.\\
'''Church:''' OK, fine. Triangle of Confusion! Rhombus of Terror! [[RuleOfThree Parabola of Mystery!]] Who cares? ''Get the goddamn show on the road!''



-->'''Church''': I, uh, I need help on a very top secret project, uh, that's very secret. [{{Beat}}] And very top.

to:

-->'''Church''': I, uh, I need help on a very top secret project, uh, that's very secret. [{{Beat}}] ''[{{Beat}}]'' And very top.



* Sister being convinced that Washington is a cop, including the urban legend that cops have to admit that they are cops if directly asked. When Wash points out that isn't true, she decides that since he knows that, [[YouFailLogicForever that means]]:

to:

* Sister being is convinced that Washington is a cop, including the urban legend that cops have to admit that they are cops if directly asked. When Wash points out that isn't true, she decides that since he knows that, [[YouFailLogicForever that means]]:



-->'''Washington:''' And I just realized how ridiculous that sounded once I said it out loud.

to:

-->'''Washington:''' --->'''Washington:''' And I just realized how ridiculous that sounded once I said it out loud.



'''Church:''' Oh, don't be a baby. How bad could it be''(gets launched)''EEEEEE!\\

to:

'''Church:''' Oh, don't be a baby. How bad could it be''(gets launched)''EEEEEE!\\be--''(gets launched)''--EEEEEE!\\



* Later in that episode, we get this gem: (ItMakesSenseInContext, but still.)

to:

* Later in that episode, In the beginning of episode 7, we get this gem: (ItMakesSenseInContext, but still.)



* Wash outlines his plan to destroy the Meta's AI using Command's Electro Magnetic Pulse, but gets sidetracked by the proper pronunciation of the acronym; While Wash prefers to say the letters, the Reds and Blues insist on saying the word those letters spell, Emp. "Being wrong is not a democracy!"
* Caboose's game of "Who Could Hold Still The Longest" story.



* Caboose tries to hide the fact that Church has left his robot body by claiming they're playing a game of "Who Can Hold Still The Longest". Then the body falls over.



* In episode 18, Wash outlines his plan to destroy the Meta's AI using Command's Electro Magnetic Pulse, but gets sidetracked by the proper pronunciation of the acronym; While Wash prefers to say the letters, the Reds and Blues insist on saying the word those letters spell, Emp. "Being wrong is not a democracy!"



-->'''Caboose:''' Yes! Yes! I did it! I am the biggest hero ever! I beat up the girl!\\
'''Caboose:''' I did it! I...not my fault! Not my fault! I did not do this! The computer made me touch it!

to:

-->'''Caboose:''' ** Caboose's immediate backpedaling when things suddenly go wrong.
--->'''Caboose:'''
Yes! Yes! I did it! I am the biggest hero ever! I beat up the girl!\\
'''Caboose:'''
girl![...] I did it! I...I... not my fault! Not my fault! I did not do this! The computer made me touch it!suggestions! And the default option was yes!



'''Wash:''' That's right. We have a job to do, and we're expected to stick wi- Wait. Why, do you?\\

to:

'''Wash:''' That's right. We have a job to do, and we're expected to stick wi- wi-- Wait. Why, do you?\\



-->'''Grif:''' ''(Runs by)'' [=HeyCaboose=]!\\

to:

-->'''Grif:''' --->'''Grif:''' ''(Runs by)'' [=HeyCaboose=]!\\



'''479er:''' It… it's rigged for fast running, York. You know, stealth? Going undetected, that kind of thing? ''[mutters]'' Wait, on second thought, maybe you guys don't know what that means.\\

to:

'''479er:''' It… It... it's rigged for fast running, York. You know, stealth? Going undetected, that kind of thing? ''[mutters]'' Wait, on second thought, maybe you guys don't know what that means.\\



* The AwesomeMusic starts up during the introduction to Season 10 as the Director is having F.I.L.I.S. drill a hole through an Insurrectionist ship with her WaveMotionGun... [[KickTheDog with York still in there]]. York has this to say to [[ArtificialIntelligence Delta]]:
-->'''York''': Why, you green little cockbite...
** The context is funny too, thanks to Delta's VA's knack for somehow sounding snarky/smartass and emotionless at the same time.

to:

* The AwesomeMusic starts up during the introduction to Season 10 as the Director is having F.I.L.I.S. drill a hole through an Insurrectionist ship with her WaveMotionGun... [[KickTheDog with York still in there]]. York has this to say to [[ArtificialIntelligence Delta]]:
-->'''York''': Why, you green little cockbite...
** The context is funny too, thanks
Delta]], who manages to Delta's VA's knack for somehow sounding sound snarky/smartass and emotionless at the same time.



'''Delta''': ''({{beat}})'' ...Possibly...

to:

'''Delta''': ''({{beat}})'' ...Possibly...\\
'''York''': ''(notices a glowing, smoking spot on the wall)'' Why, you green little cockbite...



-->'''[[MasterOfUnlocking York:]]''' ''(having accidentally set off the [[spoiler:''Mother Of Invention'']] alarm)'' [[ThatCameOutWrong I swear, this never happens to me.]]\\

to:

-->'''[[MasterOfUnlocking York:]]''' ''(having accidentally set off the [[spoiler:''Mother [[spoiler:Mother Of Invention'']] Invention]] alarm)'' [[ThatCameOutWrong I swear, this never happens to me.]]\\



'''{{Beat}}'''\\

to:

'''{{Beat}}'''\\''({{Beat}})''\\



** [[spoiler: Donut's]] idea of ''helping?'' To bring [[spoiler: Doc and Lopez version 1.0]] along... [[spoiler: and then tell the ship to leave, which means that everyone's STILL fucked]]. Wash's reaction is so beautifully exasperated that it deserves deliberation.

to:

** [[spoiler: Donut's]] idea of ''helping?'' To bring [[spoiler: Doc and Lopez version 1.0]] along... [[spoiler: and then tell the ship to leave, which means that everyone's STILL fucked]]. Wash's reaction is so beautifully exasperated that it deserves deliberation.elaboration.



-->'''Tucker''': Simmons, what the fuck is this?!\\

to:

-->'''Tucker''': --->'''Tucker''': Simmons, what the fuck is this?!\\



'''Caboose:''' I'm an emotional time bomb!\\

to:

'''Caboose:''' I'm I am an emotional time bomb!\\



'''Grif:''' [offscreen fighting] Ow!\\

to:

'''Grif:''' [offscreen fighting] ''[offscreen fighting]'' Ow!\\



** Caboose finally returns! To go on a field trip.

to:

** Caboose finally returns! To returning to go on a field trip. And consequently running amok of the base, including at one point crashing a Mongoose.



** And consequently running amok of the base, including and at one point crashing a Mongoose.



---> '''Caboose:''' It's a misunderstood language

to:

---> '''Caboose:''' It's a misunderstood languagelanguage.



* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmMj-JTYSGI teaser trailer]] which sees a Freelancer Pelican slam through a supposedly metaphorical window in space and [[LampshadeHanging everyone questions what the hell a window was doing in space]].
-->'''Carolina''': What the ''hell'' was ''that''?!
-->'''North''': I think it was a window?
-->'''Wyoming''': [[RunningGag Knock Knock!]]
-->'''South''': He said 'window', not 'door'.
-->'''York''': A window? Just, on its own? I mean, not attached to anything?
-->'''Niner''': ''[[LampshadeHanging What the hell's a window doing in the middle of space?!]]''
-->'''Wash''': '''''I DON'T KNOW!!! JUST KEEP FLYING!!!'''''
--> (Two Longswords blast past the screen while [[MoreDakka firing]])

to:

* The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmMj-JTYSGI com/watch?v=m0_N1qpr4ms teaser trailer]] which sees a Freelancer Pelican slam through a supposedly metaphorical window in space and [[LampshadeHanging everyone questions what the hell a window was doing in space]].
space.
-->'''Carolina''': What the ''hell'' was ''that''?!
-->'''North''':
''that''?!\\
'''North''':
I think it was a window?
-->'''Wyoming''':
window?\\
'''Wyoming''':
[[RunningGag Knock Knock!]]
-->'''South''':
Knock!]]\\
'''South''':
He said 'window', not 'door'.
-->'''York''':
'door'.\\
'''York''':
A window? Just, on its own? I mean, not attached to anything?
-->'''Niner''':
anything?\\
'''Niner''':
''[[LampshadeHanging What the hell's a window doing in the middle of space?!]]''
-->'''Wash''':
space?!]]''\\
'''Wash''':
'''''I DON'T KNOW!!! KNOW! JUST KEEP FLYING!!!'''''
--> (Two
FLYING!'''''\\
''(Two
Longswords blast past the screen while [[MoreDakka firing]]) firing]])''



--->'''Sarge''': What the heck was ''that''?!
--->'''Caboose''': I think it was a [[BreakingTheFourthWall logo]].

to:

--->'''Sarge''': What the heck was ''that''?!
--->'''Caboose''':
''that''?!\\
'''Caboose''':
I think it was a [[BreakingTheFourthWall logo]].



-->'''Grif:''' Every time you go against democracy, an eagle dies!

to:

-->'''Grif:''' --->'''Grif:''' Every time you go against democracy, an eagle dies!



** Unbeknownst to, and unfortunately for Grif and Simmons, the mission was actually a success. What they think was a failure and a lie has escalated into the two of them graduating from training and being sent out to the [[spoiler:simulation]] war.
-->'''Grif:''' Is it too late to tell you that we didn't actually do anything and Hammer died a foolish death?
* Episode 3 showed the process in which Sarge was chosen for Blood Gulch. There were an entire squad of them, all with the same kind of mindset as Sarge, [[spoiler:much to Florida's glee.]]

to:

** Unbeknownst to, and unfortunately for Grif and Simmons, the mission was actually a success. What they think was a failure and a lie has escalated into the two of them graduating from training and being sent out to the [[spoiler:simulation]] simulation war.
-->'''Grif:''' --->'''Grif:''' Is it too late to tell you that we didn't actually do anything and Hammer died a foolish death?
* Episode 3 showed shows the process in which Sarge was chosen for Blood Gulch. There were are an entire squad of them, all with the same kind of mindset as Sarge, [[spoiler:much much to Florida's glee.]]



** When asked to guide Buckshot through defusing a live bomb, Sarge asks for a flamethrower, which he then uses to burn the instructions for how to defuse it. [[InsaneTrollLogic Because using the instructions would have been cheating.]] Needless to say, Buckshot does not survive the exercise.
*** Through some insane coincidence, the flamethrower was decorated Sharkface style.
** One of [[spoiler: Flowers's]] potential recruits answers every question by talking about how great a listener he is. [[EpicFail He completely forgets what they were talking about.]] [[spoiler: Really says alot about Tucker...]]
** When [[spoiler: Flowers]] returns from interviewing the Blues to check on the Reds, he is stunned to see all but two (Sarge and Daggerknife) dead. Apparently Sarge assumed that the rubber bullets that Lemons had given them were an error, so they all swapped them for live rounds.

to:

** When asked to guide Buckshot through defusing a live bomb, Sarge asks for a flamethrower, flamethrower (decorated Sharkface style, through some insane coincidence), which he then uses to burn the instructions for how to defuse it. [[InsaneTrollLogic Because using the instructions would have been cheating.]] Needless to say, Buckshot does not survive the exercise.
*** Through some insane coincidence, the flamethrower was decorated Sharkface style.
** One of [[spoiler: Flowers's]] Flowers's potential recruits answers every question by talking about how great a listener he is. [[EpicFail He completely forgets what they were talking about.]] [[spoiler: Really says alot a lot about Tucker...]]
Tucker...
** When [[spoiler: Flowers]] Flowers returns from interviewing the Blues to check on the Reds, he is stunned to see all but two (Sarge and Daggerknife) dead. Apparently Sarge assumed that the rubber bullets that Lemons had given them were an error, so they all swapped them for live rounds.



--> '''[[spoiler: Flowers]]:''' [[spoiler: [[DissonantSerenity Prepare him for A.I. implantation]].]]
--> '''Jimmy:''' Wait, wha--AAAH! WHAT'RE YOU DOING TO MY SKULL?! AAAHH!! THIS DOESN'T SEEM PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!!!

to:

--> '''[[spoiler: Flowers]]:''' ---> [[spoiler: '''Flowers:''' [[DissonantSerenity Prepare him for A.I. implantation]].]]
-->
]]\\
'''Jimmy:''' Wait, wha--AAAH! WHAT'RE YOU DOING TO MY SKULL?! AAAHH!! THIS DOESN'T SEEM PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!!!



*** Flowers forgot to account for one other variable--''himself.'' Tripping over a power cable caused [[spoiler: Vic to short-circuit, turning him into the erratic and rambling idiot of the Blood Gulch Chronicles.]]

to:

*** ** Flowers forgot to account for one other variable--''himself.'' Tripping over a power cable caused [[spoiler: Vic to short-circuit, turning him into the erratic and rambling idiot of the Blood Gulch Chronicles.]]



*** Not to mention that [[spoiler: said short-circuit replaced the roster of replacements--instead of Freelancer agents, the list included future characters such as Caboose, Donut, and Sister!]]

to:

*** ** Not to mention that [[spoiler: said short-circuit replaced the roster of replacements--instead of Freelancer agents, the list included future characters such as Caboose, Donut, and Sister!]]



-->'''Flowers''': I prefer to think of the passage of time in terms of the four seasons as opposed to the standard Gregorian calendar.

to:

-->'''Flowers''': --->'''Flowers''': I prefer to think of the passage of time in terms of the four seasons as opposed to the standard Gregorian calendar.



-->'''Grif''': [[ArcWords You ever wonder why we're here?]]
-->'''Simmons''': I actually have a theory about that! You see, it's all about connections. I'm connected to the ground, the ground is connected to you, you're connected to Blue Base. It's like we're all one thing.
--> {{Beat}}
-->'''Grif''': [[LampshadeHanging I can't decide if that's deep or just literal.]]
-->'''Simmons''': Both?
** Simmons asks Caboose to bring them something valuable and important. Caboose brings them Church. The sight of Caboose holding his "best friend" in his arms is both funny and heartwarming.
*** Even funnier is how the two actually consider bringing Church to Sarge as a prisoner.
** The kid in this one? [[spoiler:It's a young Malcom Hargrove!]] Guess his evil ways had some very early roots.
*** And his mother is played by Jen Brown. Even in an alternate universe, Carolina saves the BGC in some way.
** The [[RunningGag running gag]] of Simmons thinking that all potential threats have [[LivingMotionDetector sight based on movement.]]
--> '''Grif''': You say that about everything and it's NEVER been true!

to:

-->'''Grif''': --->'''Grif''': [[ArcWords You ever wonder why we're here?]]
-->'''Simmons''':
here?]]\\
'''Simmons''':
I actually have a theory about that! You see, it's all about connections. I'm connected to the ground, the ground is connected to you, you're connected to Blue Base. It's like we're all one thing.
--> {{Beat}}
-->'''Grif''':
thing.\\
''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Grif''':
[[LampshadeHanging I can't decide if that's deep or just literal.]]
-->'''Simmons''':
]]\\
'''Simmons''':
Both?
** Simmons asks Caboose to bring them something valuable and important. Caboose brings them Church. The sight of Caboose holding his "best friend" in his arms is both funny and heartwarming.
***
heartwarming. Even funnier is how the two actually consider bringing Church to Sarge as a prisoner.
** The kid in this one? [[spoiler:It's a young Malcom Hargrove!]] Guess his evil ways had some very early roots.
***
roots. And his mother is played by Jen Brown. Even in an alternate universe, Carolina saves the BGC in some way.
** The [[RunningGag running gag]] RunningGag of Simmons thinking that all potential threats have [[LivingMotionDetector sight based on movement.]]
--> ---> '''Grif''': You say that about everything and it's NEVER been true!



*** When they return to their sets:
---->'''Grif''': [[DrivenToSuicide Kill me...]]

to:

*** ** When they return to their sets:
---->'''Grif''': --->'''Grif''': [[DrivenToSuicide Kill me...]]



-->"Was it our plan to have a giant spaceship crash down on the blue base? No. But did we capitalize on that moment like some badass Red soldiers entrenched in a seemingly never-ending battle with our cerulean enemy? HELL YEAH!"

to:

-->"Was --->"Was it our plan to have a giant spaceship crash down on the blue base? No. But did we capitalize on that moment like some badass Red soldiers entrenched in a seemingly never-ending battle with our cerulean enemy? HELL YEAH!"



-->'''Morgan:''' Er, Colonel, don't you think you're being a bit rash?
-->'''Turf:''' Do you think they called UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington rash?!
-->'''Drag:''' [[AnalogyBackfire George Washington didn't try to crash a spaceship into a base hidden in a box canyon full of blue-armored space-marines]]!
-->'''Turf:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Heh, sounds like I got one up on Washington himself]]! Sink your wooden teeth into that, George!

to:

-->'''Morgan:''' --->'''Morgan:''' Er, Colonel, don't you think you're being a bit rash?
-->'''Turf:'''
rash?\\
'''Turf:'''
Do you think they called UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington rash?!
-->'''Drag:'''
rash?!\\
'''Drag:'''
[[AnalogyBackfire George Washington didn't try to crash a spaceship into a base hidden in a box canyon full of blue-armored space-marines]]!
-->'''Turf:'''
space-marines]]!\\
'''Turf:'''
[[ComicallyMissingThePoint Heh, sounds like I got one up on Washington himself]]! Sink your wooden teeth into that, George!



'''Turf:''' …''(Sighs, cocks gun)'' Imma shoot 'em both!
* Episode 8 is a faux-trailer for a live-action movie staring Sarge called ''Sarge V Tucker: Origin of Sin''[[spoiler: …Which turns out to be a preview for a movie the Blood Gulch Crew is about to watch.]]
-->'''Sarge:''' They…''butchered'' my movie! […] It was supposed to be a tone piece about the nature of war! And that [=McConaughey=] guy is a total miscast for me! The guy has no shoulders!\\

to:

'''Turf:''' …''(Sighs, ''(Sighs, cocks gun)'' Imma shoot 'em both!
* Episode 8 is a faux-trailer for a live-action movie staring Sarge called ''Sarge V Tucker: Origin of Sin''[[spoiler: …Which Sin''[[spoiler: ...Which turns out to be a preview for a movie the Blood Gulch Crew is about to watch.]]
-->'''Sarge:''' They…''butchered'' They... ''butchered'' my movie! […] [...] It was supposed to be a tone piece about the nature of war! And that [=McConaughey=] guy is a total miscast for me! The guy has no shoulders!\\



*** Then they argue over the aforementioned gas incident
--->'''Felix:''' You said coms were useless! \\
'''Locus:''' I meant down stairs! \\
'''Felix:''' ''[[ExactWords Useless!]]'' \\
'''Locus:''' (''Throws an unconscious Gabriel down'') [[WhatAnIdiot THAT doesn't mean remove your earpiece!]] \\
'''Felix:''' Well, i'm sorry I couldn't read that broken fucking brain of yours, and suddenly know that you actually meant the opposite OF WHAT YOU FUCKING SAID!

to:

*** Then they argue over the aforementioned gas incident
--->'''Felix:'''
incident.
---->'''Felix:'''
You said coms comms were useless! \\
'''Locus:''' I meant down stairs! \\
downstairs!\\
'''Felix:''' ''[[ExactWords Useless!]]'' \\
Useless!]]''\\
'''Locus:''' (''Throws an unconscious Gabriel down'') [[WhatAnIdiot THAT doesn't mean remove "remove your earpiece!]] earpiece"!]] \\
'''Felix:''' Well, i'm I'm sorry I couldn't read that broken fucking brain of yours, and suddenly know that you actually meant the opposite OF WHAT YOU FUCKING SAID!



*** Siris lecturing Locus and Felix for not using their comms leads him to admit that he expects this recklessness from Felix, but not from Locus. You KNOW that comment annoyed Felix.

to:

*** Siris lecturing Locus and Felix for not using their comms leads him to admit that he expects this recklessness from Felix, but not from Locus. You KNOW ''know'' that comment annoyed Felix.



*** As the trio are driving along, Gabriel wakes up and starts yelling and banging on the inside of the car trunk. Felix's reaction? Casually turn on the radio loud enough to drown out Gabriel.

to:

*** As the trio are driving along, Gabriel wakes up and starts yelling and banging on the inside of the car trunk. Felix's reaction? Casually turn turning on the radio loud enough to drown out Gabriel.



--->'''Felix:''' ''MOTHERFUCKER!!''\\

to:

--->'''Felix:''' ---->'''Felix:''' ''MOTHERFUCKER!!''\\



--->'''Felix:''' Under your... Oh. [[SarcasmMode Oh oh that is perfect! Classy too!]]\\

to:

--->'''Felix:''' Under your... Oh. [[SarcasmMode Oh oh Oh, oh, that is perfect! Classy too!]]\\



*** After giving Felix a gun, Locus preemptively chews him out for [[HowDareYouDieOnMe using it to]] [[DrivenToSuicide kill himself]]:

to:

*** After giving Felix a gun, Locus preemptively chews him out for about [[HowDareYouDieOnMe using it to]] [[DrivenToSuicide kill himself]]:



*** Felix, wounded in one leg and literally leaning on Locus for support, sees one of the mob soldiers and throws his knife at him. The butt end of the knife hits, instead of the blade. But, it was enough to get a RailingKill. "That works." Locus giving him a "Are you serious?" look and Felix smiling gleefully back was the icing on the cake.

to:

*** Felix, wounded in one leg and literally leaning on Locus for support, sees one of the mob soldiers and throws his knife at him. The butt end of the knife hits, instead of the blade. But, it was it's enough to get a RailingKill. "That works." Locus giving him a "Are you serious?" look and Felix smiling gleefully back was is the icing on the cake.



** The entire opening to the episode. The document about Doc's recruitment is a standout, if you can read behind the black markup.

to:

** The entire opening to the episode. The document about Doc's recruitment document is a standout, if you can read behind the black markup.



** Grif and Simmons being caught looking at porn.
*** It's worth pointing out that of the two photos visibly seen of said porn, one of them ''is '''Santa'''''.

to:

** Grif and Simmons being caught looking at porn.
***
porn. It's worth pointing out that of the two photos visibly seen of said porn, one of them ''is '''Santa'''''.'''Santa Claus'''''.



** Sarge still refuses to believe that Grif is a Sargeant, going so far as to blast Simmons [[WhosOnFirst when he keeps mockingly talking about Grif's rank]].
** Grif questions if they are back to hating the Blues, since both sides have been cool "since the whole alien thing [[SayingTooMuch with the Freelancer-]]"

to:

** Sarge still refuses to believe that Grif is a Sargeant, Sergeant, going so far as to blast Simmons [[WhosOnFirst when he keeps mockingly talking about Grif's rank]].
** Grif questions if they are back to hating the Blues, since both sides have been cool "since the whole alien thing [[SayingTooMuch with the Freelancer-]]"Freelancer--]]"



--->'''Narrator''': Uh, gentlemen-
--->'''Tucker''': (to Church) But I told [Sister] I had a sniper rifle! She's expecting me to bring it!
--->'''Narrator''': Ge-gentlemen-
--->'''Church''': (to Tucker) I don't care ''what'' you told Grif's sister! I am ''not'' letting you take ''my'' sniper rifle on ''your'' imaginary date!
--->'''Tucker''': It's not imaginary! She's totally into me!
--->'''Narrator''': ''Will you please just focus?!''
--->'''Tucker''': (to the Narrator) ...who are you again?
*** We then cut back to Red Base, where things have... deteriorated:
---->'''Grif''': (aiming his rocket launcher at Sarge) [[PunctuatedForEmphasis For the last. Time. We. Are. The. Same. Rank!]]
*** The DutchAngle of the shot implies that the cameraman was next to get shot.

to:

--->'''Narrator''': Uh, gentlemen-
--->'''Tucker''': (to Church)
gentlemen--\\
'''Tucker''': ''(to Church)''
But I told [Sister] I had a sniper rifle! She's expecting me to bring it!
--->'''Narrator''': Ge-gentlemen-
--->'''Church''': (to Tucker)
it!\\
'''Narrator''': Ge-gentlemen-\\
'''Church''': ''(to Tucker)''
I don't care ''what'' you told Grif's sister! I am ''not'' letting you take ''my'' sniper rifle on ''your'' imaginary date!
--->'''Tucker''':
date!\\
'''Tucker''':
It's not imaginary! She's totally into me!
--->'''Narrator''':
me!\\
'''Narrator''':
''Will you please just focus?!''
--->'''Tucker''': (to
focus?!''\\
'''Tucker''': ''(to
the Narrator) ...Narrator)'' ...who are you again?
*** ** We then cut back to Red Base, where things have... deteriorated:
---->'''Grif''': --->'''Grif''': (aiming his rocket launcher at Sarge) [[PunctuatedForEmphasis For the last. Time. We. Are. The. Same. Rank!]]
*** ** The DutchAngle of the shot implies that the cameraman was next to get shot.



*** Which ties into the ending: [[spoiler:Sarge realizes that Boomstick might be his son that he upped and abandoned and runs away. And Boomstick doesn't realize it.]]
*** Even better as [[spoiler:Boomstick is the ''only one'' who doesn't catch it, after Sarge awkwardly gets off everyone turns to Boomstick to see his reaction, yes even Caboose.]]
** Simmons and Grif finding out that [[spoiler:Tex is Carolina's mother]]. Caboose claims it was "super obvious."
--->'''Simmons''': Huh. ...suddenly everything makes a lot more sense.
--->'''Grif''': Fuck, dude... remember when all we used to do was stand around and talk?
--->'''Simmons''': Yeah, good times.
--->'''Grif''': Good times...

to:

*** ** Which ties into the ending: [[spoiler:Sarge realizes that Boomstick might be his son that he upped and abandoned and runs away. And Boomstick doesn't realize it.]]
***
]] Even better as [[spoiler:Boomstick Boomstick is the ''only one'' who doesn't catch it, after Sarge awkwardly gets off leaves everyone turns to Boomstick to see his reaction, yes reaction. Yes, even Caboose.]]
Caboose.
** Simmons and Grif finding out that [[spoiler:Tex Tex is Carolina's mother]].mother. Caboose claims it was "super obvious."
--->'''Simmons''': Huh. ...suddenly everything makes a lot more sense.
--->'''Grif''':
sense.\\
'''Grif''':
Fuck, dude... remember when all we used to do was stand around and talk?
--->'''Simmons''':
talk?\\
'''Simmons''':
Yeah, good times.
--->'''Grif''':
times.\\
'''Grif''':
Good times...



*** An example in the fight itself: A running gag in the show is that characters would commonly mutter out, or shout [[PrecisionFStrike "Son of a bitch!"]] before something really bad happens to them. [[spoiler: Since Meta is mute, Church says it for him]]
---->'''[[spoiler: Epsilon:]]''' [[spoiler: Hey! Hey hey! Hold up... Uh, hey so I know that you're about to pummel her ginger face in and all, but you also only talk in grunts. So, I'm just going to say this one line for you, kay? Just this one time. *Meta realizes that Carolina has his gun and is pointing it at him*]] OH! Son of a bitch!

to:

*** An example in the fight itself: A running gag in the show is that characters would commonly mutter out, or shout [[PrecisionFStrike "Son of a bitch!"]] before something really bad happens to them. [[spoiler: Since Meta is mute, Church says it for him]]
---->'''[[spoiler: Epsilon:]]'''
him.]]
---->'''Epsilon:'''
[[spoiler: Hey! Hey hey! Hold up... Uh, hey so I know that you're about to pummel her ginger face in and all, but you also only talk in grunts. So, I'm just going to say this one line for you, kay? Just this one time. *Meta ''(Meta realizes that Carolina has his gun and is pointing it at him*]] him)'']] OH! Son of a bitch!



---->'''Grif''': Holy shit!
---->'''Caboose''': I know! [[spoiler: He did not even have a head under his helmet! He was a ghost the whole time! Like Bruce Willis.]]

to:

---->'''Grif''': Holy shit!
---->'''Caboose''':
shit!\\
'''Caboose''':
I know! [[spoiler: He did not even have a head under his helmet! He was a ghost the whole time! Like Bruce Willis.]]



*** Simmon's head!Sarge saying that Simmons is really his biological son.

to:

*** Simmon's ** Simmons' head!Sarge saying that Simmons is really his biological son.



*** Omega is completely relieved when an opening to escape presents itself.

to:

*** ** Omega is completely relieved when an opening to escape presents itself.



--->'''Omega:''' Assuming of course that nobody knocks me out of this (Appears in the next mindscape) I can't help but fear I set myself for that one.

to:

--->'''Omega:''' Assuming of course that nobody knocks me out of this (Appears this. ''(Appears in the next mindscape) mindscape)'' I can't help but fear I set myself for that one.



---> '''Epsilon:''' And ''what'' chicks are we going to pick up exactly?
---> '''Tucker:''' What are you, the rookie? [[WhamLine We've got a whole base full of them right here in the canyon!]]
---> '''Epsilon:''' Yeah but tha- [[DoubleTake I'm sorry, what?]]
--->'''Caboose:''' Hey! I just wanted to let you know, the general stopped by and took the flag! Also, I think she likes me!

to:

---> --> '''Epsilon:''' And ''what'' chicks are we going to pick up exactly?
--->
exactly?\\
'''Tucker:''' What are you, the rookie? [[WhamLine We've got a whole base full of them right here in the canyon!]]
--->
canyon!]]\
'''Epsilon:''' Yeah but tha- [[DoubleTake I'm sorry, what?]]
--->'''Caboose:'''
what?]]\\
'''Caboose:'''
Hey! I just wanted to let you know, the general stopped by and took the flag! Also, I think she likes me!



---> '''Tucker:''' You named the tank ''Sheila''.
---> '''Epsilon:''' I - uh, I - you know... Y-yeah. I mean... She just kinda looks like a Sheila to me, y'know. So, what were you saying?

to:

---> '''Tucker:''' You named the tank ''Sheila''.
--->
''Sheila''.\\
'''Epsilon:''' I - uh, I - you know... Y-yeah. I mean... She just kinda looks like a Sheila to me, y'know. So, what were you saying?



--->'''Epsilon:''' The only thing I could have possibly gotten wrong is...
--->'''Female!Sarge:''' Freeze, dirtbag!
--->'''Epsilon:''' Well, shit. (Turns to look at Female!Sarge) Oh dear God in Heaven, ''no.''

to:

--->'''Epsilon:''' The only thing I could have possibly gotten wrong is...
--->'''Female!Sarge:'''
is...\\
'''Female!Sarge:'''
Freeze, dirtbag!
--->'''Epsilon:'''
dirtbag!\\
'''Epsilon:'''
Well, shit. ''shit''. (Turns to look at Female!Sarge) Oh Oh, dear God in Heaven, ''no.''



** Like in canon, Female!Donut managed to get the Blue's flag. In this memory, she put the flag in the Red's dining room, causing Female!Simmons to berate her for the clash in colors.

to:

** Like in canon, Female!Donut managed to get the Blue's Blues' flag. In this memory, she put the flag in the Red's dining room, causing Female!Simmons to berate her for the clash in colors.



--->'''Female!Donut:''' If it were up to me, I'd get down on my hands and knees and I'd tear up all the carpet in this base. ({{Beat}}) What's with the blue guy?
--->'''Epsilon:''' I'm just...I...I know what I should have expected from you, I was just not ready for it.

to:

--->'''Female!Donut:''' If it were up to me, I'd get down on my hands and knees and I'd tear up all the carpet in this base. ({{Beat}}) ''({{Beat}})'' What's with the blue guy?
--->'''Epsilon:'''
guy?\\
'''Epsilon:'''
I'm just...I...just... I... I know what I should have expected from you, I was just not ready for it.



--->'''Tucker:''' Hey baby, I've never been with a plus-size girl before, and I bet you've never hooked up in an armored military tank. How about we scratch a few things off our buck- (Female!Grif shoots Tucker) [[OwMyBodyPart OW! My lap!]]
--->'''Female!Grif:''' "Plus-size" my fat ass! ({{Beat}}) Oh, right...
--->'''Tucker:''' Bow chicka ow owww...

to:

--->'''Tucker:''' Hey baby, I've never been with a plus-size girl before, and I bet you've never hooked up in an armored military tank. How about we scratch a few things off our buck- (Female!Grif ''(Female!Grif shoots Tucker) Tucker)'' [[OwMyBodyPart OW! My lap!]]
--->'''Female!Grif:''' "Plus-size"
lap!]]\\
'''Female!Grif:''' "Plus-size",
my fat ass! ({{Beat}}) ''({{Beat}})'' Oh, right...
--->'''Tucker:'''
right...\\
'''Tucker:'''
Bow chicka ow owww...



--->'''Epsilon:''' Uh... Let me think about this for a second... ({{Beat}}) [[IfItsYouItsOkay Yeah]], [[BiTheWay I'm cool with it,]] but I'm out.

to:

--->'''Epsilon:''' Uh... Let me think about this for a second... ({{Beat}}) ''({{Beat}})'' [[IfItsYouItsOkay Yeah]], [[BiTheWay I'm cool with it,]] but I'm out.



---> '''Tucker:''' I was saying, how about you and me go for a ride in this tank? I can show you the cannon.
---> '''[[spoiler:Epsilon/Female!Epsilon]]:''' Tucker, what the fuck is wrong with... What the fuck is wrong with...
---> ''[[spoiler:Camera pans back, revealing that Epsilon accidentally misremembered [[EpicFail himself]] as female.]]''
---> '''[[spoiler:Female!Epsilon]]:''' Oh, COME ON!

to:

---> '''Tucker:''' I was saying, how about you and me go for a ride in this tank? I can show you the cannon.
--->
cannon.\\
'''[[spoiler:Epsilon/Female!Epsilon]]:''' Tucker, what the fuck is wrong with... What the fuck is wrong with...
--->
with...\\
''[[spoiler:Camera pans back, revealing that Epsilon accidentally misremembered [[EpicFail himself]] as female.]]''
--->
]]''\\
'''[[spoiler:Female!Epsilon]]:''' Oh, COME ON!



** In his beginning narration, Vic mentions that Agent Florida downloaded his entire music archive into Vic's hard drive. All ''5000 songs.'' Apparently, Florida [[ActorAllusion was]] into Music/BarenakedLadies. Who'da thunkit?



*** Sarge is easily one of the most enthusiastic to be in this episode.

to:

*** ** Sarge is easily one of the most enthusiastic to be in this episode.



*** Donut tries to give his suggestion
---> '''Grif:''' What? You got any better ideas?
---> '''Donut:''' I do!
---> '''Everybody:''' No one cares!

to:

*** ** Donut tries to give his suggestion
suggestion.
---> '''Grif:''' What? You got any better ideas?
--->
ideas?\\
'''Donut:''' I do!
--->
do!\\
'''Everybody:''' No one cares!



*** The picture of Tex that Church has is a DartboardOfHate that reads "Stop Calling Me -XOXO Tex"
*** None of the others are impressed with Church's complaints.
--->'''Tucker:''' Oh please. You're overly dramatic.
--->'''Doc:''' You're clearly asymptomatic.
--->'''Sheila:''' Your life is hardly that traumatic.
--->'''Caboose:''' But [[CallBack your girlfriend is half-aquatic]].
*** Church listing of the things wrong in his life.

to:

*** ** The picture of Tex that Church has is a DartboardOfHate that reads "Stop Calling Me -XOXO Tex"
*** ** None of the others are impressed with Church's complaints.
--->'''Tucker:''' Oh please. You're overly dramatic.
--->'''Doc:'''
dramatic.\\
'''Doc:'''
You're clearly asymptomatic.
--->'''Sheila:'''
asymptomatic.\\
'''Sheila:'''
Your life is hardly that traumatic.
--->'''Caboose:'''
traumatic.\\
'''Caboose:'''
But [[CallBack your girlfriend is half-aquatic]].
*** ** Church listing of the things wrong in his life.



*** Even better, at the end of the episode, [[spoiler: Epsilon comments on how accurate this is!]]

to:

*** Even better, at the end of the episode, [[spoiler: Epsilon comments on how accurate this is!]]is!



---> '''Grif:''' Uh, what is happening right now?
---> '''Church:''' I don't know. I just know that I hate it.

to:

---> '''Grif:''' Uh, what is happening right now?
--->
now?\\
'''Church:''' I don't know. I just know that I hate it.



---> '''Doyle:''' Did you actually have song and dance numbers or..?
---> '''Donut:''' Ugh. Let's take it from the top.
---> '''Everybody:''' No!
** In his beginning narration, Vic mentions that Agent Florida downloaded his entire music archives into Vic's hard drive. All ''5000 songs.'' Apparently, Agent Florida [[ActorAllusion was]] into Music/BarenakedLadies. Who'da thunkit?

to:

---> '''Doyle:''' Did you actually have song and dance numbers or..?
--->
?\\
'''Donut:''' Ugh. Let's take it from the top.
--->
top.\\
'''Everybody:''' No!
** In his beginning narration, Vic mentions that Agent Florida downloaded his entire music archives into Vic's hard drive. All ''5000 songs.'' Apparently, Agent Florida [[ActorAllusion was]] into Music/BarenakedLadies. Who'da thunkit?
No!



** And how did Caboose destroy the movie? He tried to play a VHS in a film reel projector, which Church allowed because by that point he and everyone else was sick of the movie.

to:

** And how did does Caboose destroy the movie? He tried tries to play a VHS in a film reel projector, which Church allowed allows because by that point he and everyone else was is sick of the movie.



--->'''Sister:''' Why the fuck am I not Mr. Blonde?!
--->'''Grif:''' Because you're a girl, and also you're not blonde.
--->'''Sister:''' Not on my head.
--->'''Grif:''' That doesn't eve-- WaitWhat?
--->'''Church:''' Sister, there's no girls in ''Reservoir Dogs'', go back to base.
--->'''Sister:''' Uh, what about the [[Fiml/Ghostbusters2016 all female remake]] they made? You know, [[TakeThat the terrible one]]?
--->'''Church:''' ''Reservoir Bitches''? It was terrible!
--->'''Sister:''' FINE! ENJOY BEING SEXIST! I'll go make my own movie, and it will only have girls! THEN, we'll see who's sexist!
--->'''Simmons:''' And where're you gonna get girls to make an impromptu movie?
--->'''Sister:''' I've done it before, and they didn't even care about the nudity, because WOMEN! ARE! PROFESSIONALS!
--->'''Grif:''' Please do not tell anyone else the things you just said!
--->'''Sister:''' I HAAAATE YOOOOUUU! [[ParentalSubstitute YOU'RE JUST LIKE MOM AND DAD!]]

to:

--->'''Sister:''' Why the fuck am I not Mr. Blonde?!
--->'''Grif:'''
Blonde?!\\
'''Grif:'''
Because you're a girl, and also you're not blonde.
--->'''Sister:'''
blonde.\\
'''Sister:'''
Not on my head.
--->'''Grif:'''
head.\\
'''Grif:'''
That doesn't eve-- WaitWhat?
--->'''Church:'''
Wait, what?\\
'''Church:'''
Sister, there's no girls in ''Reservoir Dogs'', go back to base.
--->'''Sister:'''
base.\\
'''Sister:'''
Uh, what about the [[Fiml/Ghostbusters2016 all female remake]] they made? You know, [[TakeThat the terrible one]]?
--->'''Church:'''
one]]?\\
'''Church:'''
''Reservoir Bitches''? It was terrible!
--->'''Sister:'''
terrible!\\
'''Sister:'''
FINE! ENJOY BEING SEXIST! I'll go make my own movie, and it will only have girls! THEN, we'll see who's sexist!
--->'''Simmons:'''
sexist!\\
'''Simmons:'''
And where're you gonna get girls to make an impromptu movie?
--->'''Sister:'''
movie?\\
'''Sister:'''
I've done it before, and they didn't even care about the nudity, because WOMEN! ARE! PROFESSIONALS!
--->'''Grif:'''
PROFESSIONALS!\\
'''Grif:'''
Please do not tell anyone else the things you just said!
--->'''Sister:'''
said!\\
'''Sister:'''
I HAAAATE YOOOOUUU! [[ParentalSubstitute YOU'RE JUST LIKE MOM AND DAD!]]



--->'''Simmons:''' Who the fuck gave [[LethallyStupid him]] actual gasoline?
--->'''Caboose:''' I am a method actor.
--->'''Sister:''' VAGINA POWER! DOWN WITH MEN! SUCK MY LADYDICK! [[ThatCameOutWrong END WOMEN'S SUFFRAGE!]] WE'VE SUFFERED LONG ENOUGH!

to:

--->'''Simmons:''' Who the fuck gave [[LethallyStupid him]] actual gasoline?
--->'''Caboose:'''
gasoline?\\
'''Caboose:'''
I am a method actor.
--->'''Sister:'''
actor.\\
'''Sister:'''
VAGINA POWER! DOWN WITH MEN! SUCK MY LADYDICK! [[ThatCameOutWrong END WOMEN'S SUFFRAGE!]] WE'VE SUFFERED LONG ENOUGH!



-->'''Ohio''': I do not ''love'' that game. ''(mumbles)'' I just play it when I'm bored.
-->'''Idaho''': Which is all the time.
-->'''Ohio''': Because we never get mission assignments!

to:

-->'''Ohio''': --->'''Ohio''': I do not ''love'' that game. ''(mumbles)'' I just play it when I'm bored.
-->'''Idaho''':
bored.\\
'''Idaho''':
Which is all the time.
-->'''Ohio''':
time.\\
'''Ohio''':
Because we never get mission assignments!



-->'''Iowa''': Yeah Ohio, we're totally coo[[SuddenlyShouting SPIDER]]!
-->'''Shooting at the ground'''
-->'''Iowa''': ''({{Beat}})'' I got em.

to:

-->'''Iowa''': --->'''Iowa''': Yeah Ohio, we're totally coo[[SuddenlyShouting SPIDER]]!
-->'''Shooting
coo--[[SuddenlyShouting SPIDER]]!\\
''(Shooting
at the ground'''
-->'''Iowa''':
ground)''\\
'''Iowa''':
''({{Beat}})'' I got em.



-->'''Iowa''': I-I'm not a very strong driver.

to:

-->'''Iowa''': --->'''Iowa''': I-I'm not a very strong driver.



-->'''Iowa''': Five Things You'd Rather Be Doing. Go.
-->'''Ohio''': Anything.
-->'''Iowa and Idaho''': One.
-->'''Ohio''': Something else.
-->'''Both''': Two.
-->'''Ohio''': Not this?
-->'''Both''': Three...
-->'''Ohio''': Contemplating the futility of existence in a coffee shop.
-->'''Both''': Four?
-->'''Idaho''': Seems like your hearts not really in this, Oh.
-->'''Ohio''': YourMom!!
-->'''Iowa''': Oooh snap, that's our girl!

to:

-->'''Iowa''': --->'''Iowa''': Five Things You'd Rather Be Doing. Go.
-->'''Ohio''': Anything.
-->'''Iowa
Go.\\
'''Ohio''': Anything.\\
'''Iowa
and Idaho''': One.
-->'''Ohio''':
One.\\
'''Ohio''':
Something else.
-->'''Both''': Two.
-->'''Ohio''':
else.\\
'''Both''': Two.\\
'''Ohio''':
Not this?
-->'''Both''': Three...
-->'''Ohio''':
this?\\
'''Both''': Three...\\
'''Ohio''':
Contemplating the futility of existence in a coffee shop.
-->'''Both''': Four?
-->'''Idaho''':
shop.\\
'''Both''': Four?\\
'''Idaho''':
Seems like your hearts heart's not really in this, Oh.
-->'''Ohio''': YourMom!!
-->'''Iowa''':
Oh.\\
'''Ohio''': YourMom!\\
'''Iowa''':
Oooh snap, that's our girl!



*** Sherry's snark in general:
---->'''Darryl:''' We're from Charon Industries, and we're waiting to find out what we're here for.\\

to:

*** ** Sherry's snark in general:
---->'''Darryl:''' --->'''Darryl:''' We're from Charon Industries, and we're waiting to find out what we're here for.\\



*** After everything is said and done, Grif bemoans that [[spoiler:their ice cream by that point is now ice cream soup]]... [[NotSoDire which he realizes isn't that bad after saying it out loud]].

to:

*** ** After everything is said and done, Grif bemoans that [[spoiler:their ice cream by that point is now ice cream soup]]... [[NotSoDire which he realizes isn't that bad after saying it out loud]].



*** Where's Donut? Off getting parts to fix the Warthog's power steering.
---->'''Lopez''': ¿Quieres decir el Warthog que estamos conduciendo ahora? ([[FailedASpotCheck You mean the Warthog we're driving now?]])

to:

*** ** Where's Donut? Off getting parts to fix the Warthog's power steering.
---->'''Lopez''': --->'''Lopez''': ¿Quieres decir el Warthog que estamos conduciendo ahora? ([[FailedASpotCheck You mean the Warthog we're driving now?]])



*** When Simmons is wondering how to shoehorn an explosion in, Sarge suggests using the bomb in the Warthog. Just as Lopez (sitting in the Warthog's seat) is angrily asserting that there is no bomb, cue the mushroom cloud.
-->'''Simmons:''' ...huh. Guess there really was a bomb.\\

to:

*** ** When Simmons is wondering how to shoehorn an explosion in, Sarge suggests using the bomb in the Warthog. Just as Lopez (sitting in the Warthog's seat) is angrily asserting that there is no bomb, cue the mushroom cloud.
-->'''Simmons:''' ...--->'''Simmons:''' ...huh. Guess there really was a bomb.\\



*** Burnie has Miles try and flip over the Warthog himself using his own personal strength. [[ForegoneConclusion It doesn't go over perfectly.]]
---->'''Miles''': (straight up charges into the Warthog; recoils in pain) GOD ''DAMMIT''!

to:

*** ** Burnie has Miles try and flip over the Warthog himself using his own personal strength. [[ForegoneConclusion It doesn't go over perfectly.]]
---->'''Miles''': (straight --->'''Miles''': ''(straight up charges into the Warthog; recoils in pain) pain)'' GOD ''DAMMIT''!



---> '''Burnie:''' Well, I guess you think you're pretty hot shit, huh? Well guess what?! WE are the hottest shit that there is! In fact, WE'RE so hot, we're like... a giant bag of shit that's lit on fire, and then, you put it on your neighbor's doorstep, ring the doorbell, and run away in the middle of the night! And then your neighbor comes out in his robe and his slippers, and he's like: "What's this?! Oh, it's a huge burning bag on my doorstep! I better put that out!" So he starts stomping on it! He's stomping on the fire! But guess what?! He's not stomping on fire! He's [[PunctuatedForEmphasis stomping! On! SHIT!]] And that hot shit that's on the bottom of his slipper?! '''''THAT'S US'''''!
--->''(beat)''
--->'''Josh''': ...That's a really fucking weird metaphor.
--->'''Burnie''': [[NoYou You're a fucking weird metaphor]]!

to:

---> '''Burnie:''' Well, I guess you think you're pretty hot shit, huh? Well guess what?! WE are the hottest shit that there is! In fact, WE'RE so hot, we're like... a giant bag of shit that's lit on fire, and then, you put it on your neighbor's doorstep, ring the doorbell, and run away in the middle of the night! And then your neighbor comes out in his robe and his slippers, and he's like: "What's this?! Oh, it's a huge burning bag on my doorstep! I better put that out!" So he starts stomping on it! He's stomping on the fire! But guess what?! He's not stomping on fire! He's [[PunctuatedForEmphasis stomping! On! SHIT!]] And that hot shit that's on the bottom of his slipper?! '''''THAT'S US'''''!
--->''(beat)''
--->'''Josh''': ...
US'''''!\\
''(beat)''\\
'''Josh''': ...
That's a really fucking weird metaphor.
--->'''Burnie''':
metaphor.\\
'''Burnie''':
[[NoYou You're a fucking weird metaphor]]!



---> '''Burnie:''' What we need... is... ''(Pan over to the Death Switch)'' ...A simple solution!
---> ''Burnie starts [[EvilLaugh laughing]], Geoff awkwardly joins in. Laughter dies down.''
---> '''Geoff:''' Like the Nazis!
---> '''Burnie:''' Wha-?! No, that's - Geoff, that's the FinalSolution, [[MundaneSolution I-I'm gonna cut the power.]]
---> '''Geoff:''' Ohh!
---> '''Burnie:''' Yeah, why Nazis? [[DudeNotFunny That was kinda weird]].

to:

---> '''Burnie:''' --->'''Burnie:''' What we need... is... ''(Pan over to the Death Switch)'' ...A simple solution!
--->
solution!\\
''Burnie starts [[EvilLaugh laughing]], Geoff awkwardly joins in. Laughter dies down.''
--->
''\\
'''Geoff:''' Like the Nazis!
--->
Nazis!\\
'''Burnie:''' Wha-?! No, that's - Geoff, that's the FinalSolution, [[MundaneSolution I-I'm gonna cut the power.]]
--->
]]\\
'''Geoff:''' Ohh!
--->
Ohh!\\
'''Burnie:''' Yeah, why Nazis? [[DudeNotFunny That was kinda weird]].



--->'''Caboose''': (after Joel leaves) And that is the smartest person I have ever met.

to:

--->'''Caboose''': (after ''(after Joel leaves) leaves)'' And that is the smartest person I have ever met.
23rd May '17 9:49:59 PM Rotide
Is there an issue? Send a Message


*** A particular highlight is when [[spoiler: Surge and Sarge debate who's in charge (Turns out Surge is ''also'' a Colonel, somehow.) and settle it with ''Rock Paper Scissors'' (Or as they call it, [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike "Military Protocol"]]. ]]

to:

*** A particular highlight is when [[spoiler: Surge and Sarge debate who's in charge (Turns out Surge is ''also'' a Colonel, somehow.) and settle it with ''Rock Paper Scissors'' (Or as they call it, [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike "Military Protocol"]]."Procedure"]]. ]]
23rd May '17 6:18:17 PM cybertoy0
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

** After the FOTUS Soldier leaves, Jax reveals that he edited some clips to make an title sequence for him;
-->'''Jax:''' So, constructive feedback. I'm thinking of pitching this to the network!\\
'''Dylan:''' How did you get [the FOTUS Soldier] to sign a release form?\\
'''Jax:''' ...A what-now?
23rd May '17 1:15:17 PM ml0085
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

** Burnie's "hot shit" rant and the reactions to it. It must be heard for the full effect:
---> '''Burnie:''' Well, I guess you think you're pretty hot shit, huh? Well guess what?! WE are the hottest shit that there is! In fact, WE'RE so hot, we're like... a giant bag of shit that's lit on fire, and then, you put it on your neighbor's doorstep, ring the doorbell, and run away in the middle of the night! And then your neighbor comes out in his robe and his slippers, and he's like: "What's this?! Oh, it's a huge burning bag on my doorstep! I better put that out!" So he starts stomping on it! He's stomping on the fire! But guess what?! He's not stomping on fire! He's [[PunctuatedForEmphasis stomping! On! SHIT!]] And that hot shit that's on the bottom of his slipper?! '''''THAT'S US'''''!
--->''(beat)''
--->'''Josh''': ...That's a really fucking weird metaphor.
--->'''Burnie''': [[NoYou You're a fucking weird metaphor]]!
21st May '17 1:53:54 PM Wiseoung-5
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** Turns out the Impostors are [[spoiler: More sim Troopers, who are a SimilarSquad to the Reds and Blues, and at least as quirky as they are, if not more.]]

to:

** Turns out the Impostors are [[spoiler: More more sim Troopers, who are a SimilarSquad to the Reds and Blues, and at least as quirky as they are, if not more.]]



*** Moreso, [[spoiler:Caboose's equivalent is named Loco[[note]]likely short for locomotive[[/note]], Tucker's is named Bucky[[note]]with a sexual catchphrase of his own[[/note]], Donut's is Cronut[[note]]insisting his armor is reddish-white[[/note]], and Lopez's is called Lorenzo[[note]]who speaks ITALIAN![[/note]]]]
both gene and simmons agree that err is a word with Tucker and Bucky counter
[[spoiler:Gene and Bucky]] prove themselves to be Simmons' and Tucker's [[spoiler:equivalents]] when the

to:

*** Moreso, [[spoiler:Caboose's equivalent is named Loco[[note]]likely short for locomotive[[/note]], Tucker's is named Bucky[[note]]with a sexual catchphrase of his own[[/note]], Donut's is Cronut[[note]]insisting that his armor is reddish-white[[/note]], and Lopez's is called Lorenzo[[note]]who speaks ITALIAN![[/note]]]]
ITALIAN![[/note]]]].
*** Caboose interacting with [[spoiler:Loco]] is HILARIOUS in that [[spoiler:they practically share the same mind]].
*** Additionally,
both gene Simmons and simmons [[spoiler:Gene]] agree that err "err" is a word real word, with Tucker and Bucky counter
[[spoiler:Gene and Bucky]] prove themselves to be Simmons' and Tucker's [[spoiler:equivalents]] when
[[spoiler:Bucky]] both insisting that it's not at the exact same time.
21st May '17 1:48:30 PM Wiseoung-5
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Added DiffLines:

*** Moreso, [[spoiler:Caboose's equivalent is named Loco[[note]]likely short for locomotive[[/note]], Tucker's is named Bucky[[note]]with a sexual catchphrase of his own[[/note]], Donut's is Cronut[[note]]insisting his armor is reddish-white[[/note]], and Lopez's is called Lorenzo[[note]]who speaks ITALIAN![[/note]]]]
both gene and simmons agree that err is a word with Tucker and Bucky counter
[[spoiler:Gene and Bucky]] prove themselves to be Simmons' and Tucker's [[spoiler:equivalents]] when the
** After the BGC and [[spoiler:the Blues and Reds]] have taken down the [[spoiler:fighter crafts sent by the UNSC]], [[spoiler:Surge]] reports that Lopez and [[spoiler:Lorenzo]] were dismembered during the fight, with the [[spoiler:two]] robots ONCE AGAIN reduced to [[spoiler:heads]].
21st May '17 9:13:11 AM DinoCam1795
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* Turns out the Impostors are [[spoiler: More sim Troopers, who are a SimilarSquad to the Reds and Blues, and at least as quirky as they are, if not more.]]
** A particular highlight is when [[spoiler: Surge and Sarge debate who's in charge (Turns out Surge is ''also'' a Colonel, somehow.) and settle it with ''Rock Paper Scissors'' (Or as they call it, [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike "Military Protocol"]]. ]]
** Also funny is that [[spoiler: Simmons's equivalent is named ''[[{{Music/Kiss}} Gene]]'']]

to:

* Episode 8:
**
Turns out the Impostors are [[spoiler: More sim Troopers, who are a SimilarSquad to the Reds and Blues, and at least as quirky as they are, if not more.]]
** *** A particular highlight is when [[spoiler: Surge and Sarge debate who's in charge (Turns out Surge is ''also'' a Colonel, somehow.) and settle it with ''Rock Paper Scissors'' (Or as they call it, [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike "Military Protocol"]]. ]]
** *** Also funny is that [[spoiler: Simmons's equivalent is named ''[[{{Music/Kiss}} Gene]]'']]
21st May '17 8:58:33 AM Rotide
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Added DiffLines:

* Turns out the Impostors are [[spoiler: More sim Troopers, who are a SimilarSquad to the Reds and Blues, and at least as quirky as they are, if not more.]]
** A particular highlight is when [[spoiler: Surge and Sarge debate who's in charge (Turns out Surge is ''also'' a Colonel, somehow.) and settle it with ''Rock Paper Scissors'' (Or as they call it, [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike "Military Protocol"]]. ]]
** Also funny is that [[spoiler: Simmons's equivalent is named ''[[{{Music/Kiss}} Gene]]'']]
21st May '17 8:52:08 AM hubakon1368
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** Caboose at one point had a Bop-It. He popped it against a rock and now it's 'sleeping'. In pieces.
** Sarge has gone without sleep for about five days, a reference to another Rooster Teeth production. Jax calls the premise [[SelfDeprecation lame]].
** We cut to the FOTUS soldier standing over what appears to be the dead bodies of Sarge, Simmons, and Caboose after getting a distressing call from Caboose, and you assume the worst. [[spoiler: Turns out Sarge was just asleep, Simmons saw a snake (a small one at that) and fainted, and Caboose got scared and decided to play dead. Our heroes, everybody.]]



** We cut to the FOTUS soldier standing over what appears to be the dead bodies of Sarge, Simmons, and Caboose after getting a distressing call from Caboose, and you assume the worst. [[spoiler: Turns out Sarge was just asleep, Simmons saw a snake (a small one at that) and fainted, and Caboose got scared and decided to play dead. Our heroes, everybody.]]
** Sarge has gone without sleep for about five days, a reference to another Rooster Teeth production. Jax calls the premise [[SelfDeprecation lame]].
** Caboose at one point had a Bop-It. He popped it against a rock and now it's 'sleeping'. In pieces.
This list shows the last 10 events of 1284. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.RedVsBlue