Characters: Axe Cop

The cast of the webcomic Axe Cop and its animated adaptation.
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    Good Guys 

Axe Cop (Axey Smartist)

Voiced by: Nick Offerman (Fox show), Dave DeAndrea (motion comics)

Flute Cop (Flutey Smartist) / Dinosaur Soldier / Avocado Soldier / etc.

Voiced by: Ken Marino (Fox show), Eric Bauza (Rug Burn motion comic), Lee Gordon (Promo Scape motion comic), Maurice LaMarche (as Avocado Soldier only in Promo Scape motion comic)
  • Butt Monkey: He never stops transforming. Although many of these forms make him even more powerful, he never gets to use his true form, even when he tries. Even Axe Cop has stated that his best friend is Sockarang and not Flute Cop, who has been his sidekick since the first comic.
    • This is averted in the animated series, where he is not only still human, but married. Dinosaur Soldier and Avocado Soldier appear in one episode, but Flute Cop returns in the next episode.
  • Cool Shades
  • Everyone Calls Him Barkeep: Unlike Axe Cop, who actually has a real name, it seems that his name actually is Flute Cop.
    • This seems to have been a mistake in the early comic, as later on in "Ask Flute Cop" we more logically see his name given as Flutey Smartist.
  • Everything's Better With Dinosaurs: After becoming Dinosaur Soldier, and later as Dragtrighostacops Rex.
  • I Have Many Names: Due to his many transformations. The same character has gone by the names Flute Cop, Dinosaur Soldier, Avocado Soldier, Uni-Avocado Soldier, Ghost Cop, Drag-Tri-Ghostacops Rex, Viking Cop, Bear Cop, Zombie Bear Cop, President Zombie Bear Cop, Rat Cop...
  • The Lancer
  • Luke, I Am Your Father: He's Axe Cop's brother, but they forgot after backing into each other.
  • Minored In Ass Kicking: His minor was in Criminal Justice. His major was in flute class. However, it appears that flute classes in the Axe Cop world involve learning how to fight with flutes.
  • Musical Assassin: While we've never seen him use his Flute Cop form in battle, his fighting style evidently involves him distracting people by blowing into his flute.
    • The animated series has shown Flute Cop making bad guys' heads explode by playing the recorder.
  • Only Sane Man: In the cartoon, he usually points out the bizarre leaps in logic in Axe Cop's plans.
  • Our Presidents Are Different: He became President of the United States by eating President Towzerd's brain. (He was a zombie bear at the time.)
  • Shapeshifter Default Form: Interestingly, in between storylines he seems to revert by unspecified means to a default form... but that form is Dinosaur Soldier, not his original form of Flute Cop.
  • Sleeves Are for Wimps: Dinosaur Soldier.
  • Somebody Set Up Us the Bomb: As Ghost Cop, his secret attack is to phase through his enemies and leave grenade bombs inside each one before they know what hit them.
  • Truly Single Parent: He has a baby named Wexey that he wished for with his unicorn powers.
    • Averted in the animated series, where he and his wife Anita are the adopted parents of Uni-Baby.
  • Unicorn: As Uni-Avocado Soldier.

Sockarang (Socky) / Good Bad Santa

Voiced by: Patton Oswalt (Fox show), Sam Brown (motion comic)

Baby Man

Voiced by: Michael Madsen (Fox show), Ethan Nicolle (motion comic)

The Wrestler

Ralph Wrinkles / Axe Dog

Voiced by: Eric Bauza (Rug Burn motion comic), Big Lou Johnson (Promo Scape motion comic)

Wexter

Uni-Man

Voiced by: Peter Serafinowicz (Fox show), Brock Gallagher (Rug Burn motion comic), Sam A. Mowry (Bad Guy Earth preview)

Leaf Man

Voiced by: Justin Ching

The Best Fairy Ever

Voiced by: Deborah Ann Woll

The Moon Warriors (Vampire Wolfer and Fire Slicer)

Voiced by: Ed Skudder (Vampire Wolfer) and Shane Dawson (Fire Slicer)

Lobster Man (Koko Mia)

Voiced by: Andre Braugher

Bat Warthog Man

Wolver Man

Gray Diamond (Mark Frankenstein)

Voiced by: Rob Huebel

Gray Stone

Army Chihuahua

Chemist M

Voiced by: Peter Serafinowicz
  • Author Avatar: The M stands for Malachai.
  • Happiness in Slavery: Axe Cop bought him and he seems fine with it.
  • Multiple-Choice Past: In the comic, he is an Author Avatar of Malachai, as stated above, who directly assists Axe Cop. He is an entirely different character in the animated series, where he is an aged English scientist (the smartest man in the world, no less) whose daughter, Isabella M, was held ransom by Adolf Hitler to force him to construct a zombie army for the Nazis long before the series' present day. (It isn't made clear whether this happened during World War II or some other time other than "a long time ago".) He has since become a zombie himself, but he was turned good by her daughter, who completed his secret work on a potion to turn zombies good.
  • Nerd Glasses
  • Science Hero
  • See the Invisible: The main reason Axe Cop needed him in the webcomic was to create a chemical that would let him do this.

Liborg

  • Cyborg
  • Nineties Anti-Hero: His design is based on the art of Rob Liefeld.
  • Portmanteau: His name is one of 'lion' and 'cyborg'.
  • Was Once a Man: The result of Grey Diamond combining the remains of his deceased friend Sergeant G (actually Sergeant T, but Grey Diamond didn't know that) with parts from a lion, a cheetah, and a robot suit.

Fwinky Dog

Hypno-Monkey Boy and Super Bat Boy (Sam and Max)

  • Doomed Hometown: Two of them: Their birth parents' lab, which explodes, sending them into space; and the Unknown Planet they land on, which gets bombed by the enemies of the aliens they came to live with.
  • Happily Adopted: First by some aliens, then by Axe Cop and later the Water Queen.
  • Kid Hero: Both of them once Axe Cop says it's okay.
  • And Now for Someone Completely Different: Similar to The Moon Warriors, "Axe Cop Gets Married" starts out with their backstory, and Axe Cop meets them shortly afterwards.
  • Petting Zoo People

The Water Queen

Voiced by: Jemima Kirke

Axe Girl

Voiced by: Lake Bell
  • Action Girl
  • Amicable Exes: While the two break off the engagement, she and Axe Cop still remain friends and vow to team up again some day.
  • Birds of a Feather: Deconstructed. It turns out she and Axe Cop's similar "All the time" shifts and personalities meant no one would be home to parent Sam and Max.
  • Distaff Counterpart

Super Axe

Voiced by: Jordan Peele
  • An Axe to Grind: Was once thought to be the only ax-wielding superhero.
  • Black Best Friend: As Axe Cop's friend from college, his appearances in the comics are mainly just to kick off Axe Cop's adventures, but he may have been intended to be a more relatable black character than Lobster Man.
  • Costume Copycat: At least in the animated series, where his costume is just Superman's with an "A" wedged into the Chest Insignia and an ax-emblazoned belt buckle. Not so much in the comic books, though he may have taken inspiration from Icon or Captain Marvel.
  • Happily Married: To a woman named Tracy in the animated series.
  • Master of Disguise: When he wears animal costumes, bad guys think he really is those animals.

    Bad Guys 

Telescope Gun Cop

Voiced by: Sam Brown (Rug Burn motion comic), Marcus Irvine (Promo Scape motion comic)

King Evilfatsozon

Voiced by: Mike Nassar (motion comic)

Dr. Stinky Head

Voiced by: Sam Brown

Vampire Man Baby Kid

Voiced by: Dee Bradley Baker (FXX show), Ethan Nicolle (motion comic)
  • Fashionable Asymmetry: Because he's half vampire baby, half vampire man, and vampire kid in the middle, his appendages are longer on one side.
  • Gonk
  • Looks Like Orlock
  • Nigh Invulnerable: His head can't be chopped off by anything short of a golden chainsaw.
  • Our Vampires Are Different: He's a "sun vampire" and can apparently survive in the sun.
  • Spared by the Adaptation: The animated episode "Night Mission: The Moon" has Flute Cop convince Axe Cop not to kill Vampire Man Baby Kid when he learns that one of the baby's parents was the true bad guy.

Dr. Doo Doo

Voiced by: Peter Serafinowicz

The King of All Bad Guys

Chicken Head

Iggy and Willy

    Axe Cop Presents 

Jack and John

The Secret Agent Brothers

    Print-only Characters 

Characters that have only appeared in Bad Guy Earth and other print-only comics. Because these are self-contained stories, spoilers will not be marked.

The Psychic Brothers (Psychic Boss and Psychic Helper)

The Evil Magician Woman Riding A Gorilla Riding A Lion

Voiced by: Jane Adams

President Towzerd

Voiced by: Al LeVine (FXX show), Rowell Gormon (Bad Guy Earth preview)

Goo Cop (Frank Wrinkleburd)

Junior Cobbb

Voiced by: Clancy Brown

The Evil Scientist from Mars (Dr. Tuwo)

Voiced by: Alfred Molina

Tu and Bu

  • Card-Carrying Villains: To a greater extent than most: While meditating, they vow to become "the devilest bad guys."
  • Combining Mecha: Along with vehicles like motorcycles and monster trucks, Tu and Bu can form a giant robot Axe Cop (not that it fools anyone).
  • Fat and Skinny: In the sense that Bu is the rounder, bulkier one.
  • Kill the God: They try to hurl the Space Needle into the heart of God, but Axe Cop deflects it. They do succeed in mutilating Satan enough to take over his minions, though.
  • Omnicidal Maniacs: Destroyed whole planets starting with their own and even blew up an entire "good guy universe".
  • Rebellious Spirit: Hated everything about their planet and broke all the rules to try to get their own way all the time.
  • Robo Family: They're giant robot brothers who rebelled against their parents so they could keep making bombs.

The Aliens

  • Alien Abduction: First they kidnap Frank Wrinkleburd and transform him into Goo Man, then they kidnap Goo Man's family in retaliation when he escapes, then they kidnap Junior Cobbb's father, eventually turning them all into goo.
  • Hypno Ray: They use mind-control lasers to turn some bakers into murderers just to divert attention from a simple theft.
  • Little Green Men
  • My Brain Is Big: And exposed through seams in the middle of their heads, though they're not considered very smart.
  • No Name Given: The story never gives their names, species, or associations otherwise; they're just two aliens.
  • Who's Laughing Now?: Their endgame plans are motivated by the other bad guys kicking them out of the gang for incompetence.

Captain Axe

     Animation-Only Characters 

Anita

Voiced by: Megan Mullally

The Chief of the Normal Police

Todd

Voiced by: Todd Barry
  • Ink-Suit Actor: One of the most notable instances. He always resembles his voice actor Todd Barry, and one episode names him Todd.
  • New Job as the Plot Demands: Has sold Axe Cop everything from a stay at a resort to a dating profile to Tricked-Out Gloves to a giant dinosaur horn, that last one on another planet no less. Has also been both Grey Diamond's favorite mail guy and the one he tried pawning his diamond to!
  • Obstructive Bureaucrat: Whether or not he's in the right, Todd seems to exist to try Axe Cop's patience.

Ray

Voiced by: Mike O'Malley
  • Catch Phrase: "...with my gun."
  • Dirty Cop: He plots to kill Axe Cop and Flute Cop because they're killing more bad guys than him.
  • Expy: Of Telescope Gun Cop from the comics, playing the role of a rival cop who is Axe Cop's first enemy. We see him playing with a Telescope Gun Cop action figure as a child.
  • Jerkass: Even as a child, he picks on Axey and Flutey for no real reason.
  • Rival Turned Evil
  • Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: He constantly insists that the only way to kill bad guys is to simply shoot them with a gun. Axe Cop protests because he thinks it's too boring.

Turkey Turkey

Voiced by: Jack McGee

The Warden

Voiced by: Udo Kier

The Extincter

Voiced by: David Strathairn