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Axe Cop (Axey Smartist)
Voiced by: Nick Offerman (Fox show), Dave DeAndrea (motion comics)
- A Load of Bull: As Axe Cop Lava Bull in Bad Guy Earth.
- An Axe to Grind: Amazingly.
- Badass Mustache: He may have even been born with it, though he now claims it was implanted by a time-traveling "waxman" to fulfill his future self's dying wish.
- Badass Normal: While he does have some powers, they're very minor compared to everyone else.
- Bald of Awesome: Averted—his baldness is the only thing about him that isn't awesome. He wears a hat almost all the time to hide it.
- Blood Knight: He dedicates his entire life to fighting bad guys, with only two minutes of sleep each night, he's stated that he'd get bored if he became president and killed all the bad guys, and if he had a magic wand, he would use it to turn every alien in the universe evil just so he could kill them.
- Catchphrase: "I'll chop your head off!"
- Cool Shades
- Cowboy Cop
- Does Not Like Guns: He finds fighting bad guys with handguns like normal police boring. Although he has been forced to use them on occasion, such as when some of his worst weapons backfired on him.
- Eats Babies
- Fatal Fear: Despite how strong he is, Axe Cop still has one major fear: TALKING GORILLAS. Until Junior Cobbb feeds him a Gorilla-Loving Pill, that is.
- He-Man Woman Hater: He doesn't allow girls on his team, except for the Best Fairy Ever. Presumably because Malachai is six.
- That is, until Axe Girl came along.
- Good Is Not Nice
- Guile Hero: That was a secret attack.
- Hammer Space: Axe Cop With Lemon's lemon grenades
- Happily Married: To Water Queen at the end of "Axe Cop Gets Married"
- The Hero
- Heroic B.S.O.D.: Goes into one in the animated series after realizing he's murdered good guys. He only snaps out of it when the others give him "a super-secret birthday gift": the identity of who killed his parents.
- Infinity +1 Sword: Axe Cop With Lemon's axe
- Killer Cop: Hoo boy. His kill-count often reaches into the dozens on a daily basis.
- Lantern Jaw of Justice
- Master Poisoner
- Meaningful Name: He's a cop who wields an axe. Go figure.
- Nobody Poops: As revealed in the first episode of the cartoon, "My body is 100% efficient and uses everything I eat. I don't poop."
- Pals with Jesus: He's had a direct line to God ever since he became President of Presidents.
- Psychopathic Manchild: Type E.
- Punny Name: His real name, "Axey Smartist". It also works as a pun on his previous occupation, driving a taxi.
- Rated M for Manly
- Real Men Love Jesus: He prays for the sharks.
- Secret Legacy: The last issue of The American Choppers reveals that Axey was an infant refugee from the General Planet, making him the General of All Axes and making the Smartists his first set of Muggle Foster Parents.
- Super Cop
- Super Mode: Axe Cop With Lemon, Axe Cop Fire, and Axe Cop Lava Bull.
- Weaksauce Weakness: When surprised, he melts.
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Axe Cop is terrified of talking gorillas. They are his greatest fear.
- Wig, Dress, Accent: Axe Cop uses a variety of disguises at his disposal. He dresses up as a cat while killing bad guys in their sleep at night, he occasionally wears a baby suit, he dresses up as Ethan for comic conventions, and he occasionally disguises himself as a regular cop (he switches his axe with a gun).
Flute Cop (Flutey Smartist) / Dinosaur Soldier / Avocado Soldier / etc.
Voiced by: Ken Marino (Fox show), Eric Bauza (Rug Burn motion comic), Lee Gordon (Promo Scape motion comic), Maurice LaMarche (as Avocado Soldier only in Promo Scape motion comic)
- Butt-Monkey: He never stops transforming. Although many of these forms make him even more powerful, he never gets to use his true form, even when he tries. Even Axe Cop has stated that his best friend is Sockarang and not Flute Cop, who has been his sidekick since the first comic.
- This is averted in the animated series, where he is not only still human, but married. Dinosaur Soldier and Avocado Soldier appear in one episode, but Flute Cop returns in the next episode.
- Cool Shades
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Unlike Axe Cop, who actually has a real name, it seems that his name actually is Flute Cop.
- This seems to have been a mistake in the early comic, as later on in "Ask Flute Cop" we more logically see his name given as Flutey Smartist.
- Everything's Better With Dinosaurs: After becoming Dinosaur Soldier, and later as Dragtrighostacops Rex.
- I Have Many Names: Due to his many transformations. The same character has gone by the names Flute Cop, Dinosaur Soldier, Avocado Soldier, Uni-Avocado Soldier, Ghost Cop, Drag-Tri-Ghostacops Rex, Viking Cop, Bear Cop, Zombie Bear Cop, President Zombie Bear Cop, Rat Cop...
- The Lancer
- Luke, I Am Your Father: He's Axe Cop's brother, but they forgot after backing into each other.
- Minored In Ass Kicking: His minor was in Criminal Justice. His major was in flute class. However, it appears that flute classes in the Axe Cop world involve learning how to fight with flutes.
- Musical Assassin: While we've never seen him use his Flute Cop form in battle, his fighting style evidently involves him distracting people by blowing into his flute.
- The animated series has shown Flute Cop making bad guys' heads explode by playing the recorder.
- Only Sane Man: In the cartoon, he usually points out the bizarre leaps in logic in Axe Cop's plans.
- Our Presidents Are Different: He became President of the United States by eating President Towzerd's brain. (He was a zombie bear at the time.)
- Shapeshifter Default Form: Interestingly, in between storylines he seems to revert by unspecified means to a default form... but that form is Dinosaur Soldier, not his original form of Flute Cop.
- Sleeves Are for Wimps: Dinosaur Soldier.
- Somebody Set Up Us the Bomb: As Ghost Cop, his secret attack is to phase through his enemies and leave grenade bombs inside each one before they know what hit them.
- Truly Single Parent: He has a baby named Wexey that he wished for with his unicorn powers.
- Averted in the animated series, where he and his wife Anita are the adopted parents of Uni-Baby.
- Unicorn: As Uni-Avocado Soldier.
Sockarang (Socky) / Good Bad Santa
- All There in the Manual: His real name is Socky, but you'd only know that from reading the production notes in the Bad Guy Earth collection.
- Badass Beard: After he gets Bad Santa's blood on him.
- The Big Guy
- Brought to You by the Letter "S": Actually, his emblem is a sock in the shape of an S.
- Chainsaw Good
- Chick Magnet: Although he rejects his fangirls' affection since he's in love with the Best Fairy Ever.
- Detachment Combat: Uses his sock boomerang arms to fight.
- Heart Is an Awesome Power: His power is having sock arms. And he's still a badass.
- Legacy Character: His father was a sock fighting superhero before him.
- Bad Guy Earth clarifies that while his whole family were converted into sock fighters, his father only ever taught superheroes without being one himself.
- Mad Scientist: He's driven by love—he seeks to defy the exaggeration of Huge Guy, Tiny Girl.
- Adaptational Villainy: Became the villain of the animated episode "No More Bad Guys" for being deemed more interesting than Telescope Gun Cop in the role of jealous wannabe teammate.
- Badass Family
- Catchphrase: "Shake what your baby gave ya!"
- Fartillery: For a while, his sole power was the ability to fly by farting.
- Something Person: In addition to Baby Man, there's also his family members, Baby Dad, Baby Mom, Baby Kid, and Baby Baby.
- The Voiceless: Except for the aformentioned catchphrase.
- Averted by the cartoon.
- Badass Normal: Even on the official character bios, his powers are listed only as "He's a wrestler."
- Captain Ersatz: Ethan has stated that we was designed after the Ultimate Warrior.
- And his superior, the Wrestler Boss (seen in Bad Guy Earth and Ask Axe Cop) is based on Hulk Hogan.
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin
- Face–Heel Turn
- Orcus on His Throne
- Out of Focus: After the first arc left him a tiny biting robot, he didn't reappear until a later comic demonstrated his battle cry, which also included defunct forms of Flute Cop. An even later comic showed that he got better and is still alive.
- Professional Wrestling
- Spell My Name with a "The"
Ralph Wrinkles / Axe Dog
Voiced by: Eric Bauza (Rug Burn motion comic), Big Lou Johnson (Promo Scape motion comic)
- Breath Weapon: He shoots a laser from his mouth.
- Canine Companion
- Cool Shades
- Eye Beams: Though his are healing rays.
- Gadgeteer Genius: In The American Choppers, he creates a goat translator out of spare car parts on the spot, and apparently he assembled the robot army proposed in Ask Axe Cop #26.
- I Know Karate: Since Uni-Man wished he would.
- Talking Animal
- Team Pet
- Arm Cannon: Two of them.
- Canon Immigrant: First appeared in Ask Axe Cop #8.
- Cool Pet
- Cool Shades
- Dinosaurs Are Dragons
- Everything's Better with Dinosaurs: Ethan recounts that while Axe Cop was a lucky accident of assigning heroes to toy weapons, Wexter is the complete boyhood power fantasy.
- Team Pet
- Tyrannosaurus rex
Voiced by: Peter Serafinowicz (Fox show), Brock Gallagher (Rug Burn motion comic), Sam A. Mowry (Bad Guy Earth preview)
- Badass Bookworm
- Butt-Monkey: At first.
- Fastball Special: Before he Took a Level in Badass, his combat role was limited to making wishes and being thrown horn-first at bad guys.
- Reality Warper
- The Smart Guy
- Something Person
- Super Intelligence
- Took a Level in Badass: Out of frustration with Dr. Stinkyhead at the end of "The Moon Warriors".
Voiced by: Justin Ching
- Ambiguously Gay
- Subverted it was revealed he once had a wife.
- Circus Brat: His current occupation.
- Everybody's Dead, Dave: His whole family. Nobody knows how they died.
- Green Thumb: He apparently can control leaves, but seems to be limited to juggling them.
- Heroic Build: Averted. As opposed to a stereotypical buff superhero, Leaf Man is a scrawny 90-pound weakling.
- Something Person
The Best Fairy Ever
Voiced by: Deborah Ann Woll
- Fairy Companion
- Fairy Sexy
- Interspecies Romance: With Sockarang.
- Knife Nut
- Master Poisoner: She has two types of poison powder—one that shrinks bad guys and one that kills giants.
- Pintsized Powerhouse: Her signature attack is to fly into bad guys' nostrils and punch her way out through the backs of their heads.
- Refugee from TV Land: Axe Cop pulled her out of his TV while he was watching a movie about fairies.
- Token Minority: She is literally the only female being in creation (besides Uni-Baby) allowed on Axe Cop's team.
The Moon Warriors (Vampire Wolfer and Fire Slicer)
- Elemental Powers: Fire Slicer can control...well, guess.
- Friendly Neighborhood Vampire
- Martial Arts Headband
- Morph Weapon: Fire Slicer's sword, which can turn into a flaming stick as he's slicing a bad guy.
- Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: Lampshaded by the narrative text. They were "wizard ninja brothers from the moon" even before they started getting vampire bites and transformations.
- Omniglot: They speak every human and alien language due to doing ESL at moon school.
- Our Vampires Are Different: This only gets explained in the book, but Vampire Wolfer was born a vampire. He only got double vampire power when he was bitten by Vampire Man Baby Kid.
- Our Werewolves Are Different: Vampire Wolfer was born a werewolf and can change at any time because he lives on the moon.
- Sleeves Are for Wimps
- Uncertain Doom: They were presumed dead for over four years after "The Moon Warriors Go Camping", until Ask Axe Cop #101 explained how they survived their encounter with the God of All Bears and mountain-man Telescope Gun Cop didn't.
Lobster Man (Koko Mia)
Voiced by: Andre Braugher
- Evil Detecting Dog/Lobster/Man: His antennae can detect bad guys, a power later picked up by Axe Cop after being infected with lobster blood.
- Half-Human Hybrid: Sort of.
- Mix-and-Match Critters: He has a human head, lobster claws and antennae, and the back legs and tail of a German shepherd.
- Scary Black Man
- Shapeshifter Mode Lock: Unlike his sister, who can turn into a dog at will, he permanently is stuck with a human head and a dog body.
- Something Person
Bat Warthog Man
Voiced by: Vincent Kartheiser
- Animal-Themed Superbeing
- Ascended Extra: He was originally just a one-off character from the Ask Axe Cop series before getting his own arc.
- Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: A slightly more complex sort: bat, warthog, man—bat warthog, man—BAT WARTHOG MAN!
- Captain Ersatz: He's Batman, but part warthog.
- Cool Car: "The Power".
- Empowered Badass Normal: Unlike his namesake, Bat Warthog Man is at least capable of flight.
- Expy: When he first appeared on Ask Axe Cop, he showed traits very similar to Axe Cop. He even had an airborne tyrannosaur as a steed—specifically, his Bat Warthog T-Rex. These were dropped when he got his own arc.
- Mix-and-Match Critters: Bat Warthog, which is "the best two-animal combo" according to Malachai.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: When in Man form, Bat Warthog Man looks a bit like Rod Serling.
- Our Werewolves Are Different: Sort of. He only turns into his bat warthog form at night, because bats go out at night, and he was bitten by a bat warthog.
- Shaped Like Itself: A literal case: Bat Warthog Man wears a bat warthog mask to cover his bat warthog face. It's justified, too: his mask is more stylized, whereas his head is slightly more grotesque.
- Something Something Person
- Captain Ersatz: Of both Wolverine and Superman.
- Composite Character
- Wetware CPU: His pet Iron Spider Cannon is a cyborg directed by a mouse brain wired into its circuits.
Gray Diamond (Mark Frankenstein)
Voiced by: Rob Huebel
- Ascended Extra: Originally Gray Diamond was just one of several superheroes featured in the story "Bat Warthog Man Can't Find His Friend" only, but the producers of the animated adaptation loved Rob Huebel's performance so much that they made him a series regular.
- Blade Below the Shoulder: Can turn his hands into diamond swords that shoot diamonds.
- Captain Ersatz: Of Grey Matter from Ben 10.
- Mad Scientist: Combined the surviving brain of his dead comrade Sergeant G with a lion's and a cheetah's.
- Meaningful Name: Was probably named for the fact that he revived his best friend as a Frankenstein's Monster.
- My Brain Is Big: Inside the giant diamond on his head.
- The Smart Guy
- Author Avatar: Half his dialogue is clearly Ethan's Fridge Logic on being confronted with Malachai's ideas.
- Captain Ersatz: Again, of Grey Matter from Ben 10, but in a very different way to Grey Diamond.
- Chekhov's Skill: His ability to repair robots comes up later on.
- Gadgeteer Genius: He builds a rocket ship from scratch, without instructions!
- Hulking Out
- My Brain Is Big
- Only Sane Man: Not that it gets him far in the Axe Cop universe.
- Opaque Nerd Glasses: When repairing robots.
- The Smart Guy
- Spell My Name with an "S": The narrative sometimes refers to him as 'Graystone' without a space. The book collection made this spelling standard.
Voiced by: Giancarlo Esposito
- Badass Adorable: Depends on your opinions on chihuahuas, but it is in his name.
- Badass Normal: In his backstory when he was an ordinary soldier.
- Blood Knight: He only turns into his human form when he's not ready to fight, which is "almost never."
- Dark and Troubled Past
- Poisonous Person: In the guest arc "Revenge on Rainbow Girl", Army Chihuahua has a venomous bite that makes bad guys lose their tails... and die.
- Real Men Wear Pink: Before becoming a chihuahua himself, he was a tough, muscular, mustachioed army man...who owned a pet chihuahua. There's something inexplicably funny about seeing such a manly man say "Oh no! I forgot to feed my chihuahua!"
- Superhero Packing Heat: Has "army powers", which essentially seems to mean the ability to use a machine gun while in chihuahua form.
- Shapeshifter Mode Lock
- Troubled Backstory Flashback
- Was Once a Man
- What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: In any circumstance where he has to fight, he's forced to remain in the form of a chihuahua.
Voiced by: Peter Serafinowicz
- Author Avatar: The M stands for Malachai.
- Happiness in Slavery: Axe Cop bought him and he seems fine with it.
- Multiple-Choice Past: In the comic, he is an Author Avatar of Malachai, as stated above, who directly assists Axe Cop. He is an entirely different character in the animated series, where he is an aged English scientist (the smartest man in the world, no less) whose daughter, Isabella M, was held ransom by Adolf Hitler to force him to construct a zombie army for the Nazis long before the series' present day. (It isn't made clear whether this happened during World War II or some other time other than "a long time ago".) He has since become a zombie himself, but he was turned good by her daughter, who completed his secret work on a potion to turn zombies good.
- Nerd Glasses
- Science Hero
- See the Invisible: The main reason Axe Cop needed him in the webcomic was to create a chemical that would let him do this.
Voiced by: Tyler, The Creator
- '90s Anti-Hero: His design is based on the art of Rob Liefeld.
- Portmanteau: His name is one of 'lion' and 'cyborg'.
- Was Once a Man: The result of Grey Diamond combining the remains of his deceased friend Sergeant G (actually Sergeant T, but Grey Diamond didn't know that) with parts from a lion, a cheetah, and a robot suit.
- Animal Superheroes
- Blow You Away: He can create a Fwinky-tornado.
- Eye Beams
- Funny Animal
- Super Serum: The super-Fwinkies (Twinkies for dogs) that gave him his powers.
Hypno-Monkey Boy and Super Bat Boy (Sam and Max)
- Doomed Hometown: Two of them: Their birth parents' lab, which explodes, sending them into space; and the Unknown Planet they land on, which gets bombed by the enemies of the aliens they came to live with.
- Happily Adopted: First by some aliens, then by Axe Cop and later the Water Queen.
- Kid Hero: Both of them once Axe Cop says it's okay.
- And Now for Someone Completely Different: Similar to The Moon Warriors, "Axe Cop Gets Married" starts out with their backstory, and Axe Cop meets them shortly afterwards.
- Petting Zoo People
The Water Queen
Voiced by: Jemima Kirke
- Brainwashed and Crazy: In President of the World, Tu and Bu turn the Water Queen evil with a potion that not even the Good Guy Machine can cure.
- First Girl Wins: The first girl Axe Cop ever had feelings for, so secret even he didn't know about it.
- Good Parents
- Happily Married: To Axe Cop.
- I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Was willing to hide her feelings for Axe Cop so he could marry Axe Girl. Thankfully though, things between Axe Cop and Axe Girl didn't work out, and things ended happily.
- Ink-Suit Actor: Based on Ethan's wife.
- Making a Splash: Can produce any amount of water and make it behave like solid objects without freezing it.
- Nice Girl
- Royals Who Actually Do Something: Springs to the aid of children in need, even if it means battling an army the night before her wedding.
- Silk Hiding Steel: Every bit the badass you'd expect of someone marrying Axe Cop, but you wouldn't know it by looking at her.
- Water Is Blue: Her control of blue water is reflected in her aqua hair, bright blue eyes, and always wearing blue dresses and shoes.
Voiced by: Lake Bell
- Action Girl
- Amicable Exes: While the two break off the engagement, she and Axe Cop still remain friends and vow to team up again some day.
- Birds of a Feather: Deconstructed. It turns out she and Axe Cop's similar "All the time" shifts and personalities meant no one would be home to parent Sam and Max.
- Distaff Counterpart
Voiced by: Jordan Peele
- An Axe to Grind: Was once thought to be the only ax-wielding superhero.
- Black Best Friend: As Axe Cop's friend from college, his appearances in the comics are mainly just to kick off Axe Cop's adventures, but he may have been intended to be a more relatable black character than Lobster Man.
- Costume Copycat: At least in the animated series, where his costume is just Superman's with an "A" wedged into the Chest Insignia and an ax-emblazoned belt buckle. Not so much in the comic books, though he may have taken inspiration from Icon or Captain Marvel.
- Happily Married: To a woman named Tracy in the animated series.
- Master of Disguise: When he wears animal costumes, bad guys think he really is those animals.
Telescope Gun Cop
Voiced by: Sam Brown (Rug Burn motion comic), Marcus Irvine (Promo Scape motion comic)
- Adapted Out: Doesn't show up in the TV Series aside from a cameo as an action figure, with a lot of his traits adopted or reworked into other characters.
- BFG: It is in his name.
- Cool Gun: It even has a flashlight!
- Cool Shades
- '80s Hair: Has a mullet.
- Evil Brit: In the old motion comic only. (He's actually Australian.)
- Face–Heel Turn
- Villain Teleportation: Courtesy of Uni-Baby, he teleported back in time to Make Wrong What Once Went Right, and now we know he also once survived Axe Cop's grenade barrage by teleporting to a forest.
- Who's Laughing Now?: He only became a bad guy after Axe Cop refused to let him on his team, at first because he had to go fight Psydrozon and then because he was already powerful enough to go without him.
Voiced by: Mike Nassar (motion comic)
- Adipose Rex
- Fat Bastard
- Kryptonite Factor: He can only be killed by a unicorn horn, as he explains to the guy who's standing right next to someone with a unicorn horn.
- In fairness, he didn't actually finish saying "a unicorn horn" before he was killed by Uni-Man being thrown at him, so he was already doomed before starting to say it.
Dr. Stinky Head
Voiced by: Sam Brown
- Arch-Enemy: Seeing as he has connections with Axe Cop and appears in the Dr. McNinja crossover, he's about the closest Axe Cop has.
- Ascended Extra: He initially started out as a gag in "Ask Axe Cop", but ended up the main antagonist of "The Moon Warriors" arc.
- High-Class Glass
- Mad Scientist
- Morally Ambiguous Doctorate
- One-Winged Angel: He can turn himself into an alien.
- The Pigpen: Hence the name Dr. Stinky Head, and his childhood identity, Stinko.
Vampire Man Baby Kid
Voiced by: Dee Bradley Baker (FXX show), Ethan Nicolle (motion comic)
- Fashionable Asymmetry: Because he's half vampire baby, half vampire man, and vampire kid in the middle, his appendages are longer on one side.
- Looks Like Orlock
- Nigh Invulnerable: His head can't be chopped off by anything short of a golden chainsaw.
- Our Vampires Are Different: He's a "sun vampire" and can apparently survive in the sun.
- Spared by the Adaptation: The animated episode "Night Mission: The Moon" has Flute Cop convince Axe Cop not to kill Vampire Man Baby Kid when he learns that one of the baby's parents was the true bad guy.
Dr. Doo Doo
Voiced by: Peter Serafinowicz
- Ascended Extra: In the comic, he appeared for only a few pages at the very end of the Ultimate Battle arc. In the cartoon, he has a much more prominent role, trading up to Villain of the Week status.
- Brown Note: He can make people poop their pants and give birth to doody soldiers by saying "Poooooop!", similar to the Trope Namer.
- High-Class Glass
- Mad Scientist: Created when a zombie ate the brain of the world's smartest man and then took the world's smartest poop.
- Morally Ambiguous Doctorate
- Talking Poo
The King of All Bad Guys
- Breath Weapon: Can shoot lasers out of his mouth.
- Hero Killer
- Mooks: Chicks that shoot drills.
- Nonindicative Name: He's a huge chicken with a human head.
- Posthumous Character
Iggy and Willy
- Animal Jingoism: They spend their time plotting against dogs.
- Cats Are Mean
- Cool Mask
- Fat Bastard/Husky Russkie: Willy.
- Lean and Mean: Iggy.
- Magitek: They use combinations of both technology and magic, such as setting up ordinary technological booby traps but then hiding them with an invisibility spell.
- Later they build a transformation machine and install the last button using a magic spell.
- My Death Is Just the Beginning
- Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: They're Siberian witch doctor cats.
- Our Presidents Are Different: They were apparently democratically elected to witch doctordom, as Iggy is president and Willy is vice president.
- Polyamory: They have one wife between them.
- Witch Doctor
Axe Cop Presents
Jack and John
- Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: They have an army of zombie vampires with jetpacks, all called Laser Scott.
- Pals with Jesus: They exchange advice and favours with God.
The Secret Agent Brothers
Characters that have only appeared in Bad Guy Earth and other print-only comics. Because these are self-contained stories, spoilers will not be marked.
The Psychic Brothers (Psychic Boss and Psychic Helper)
- Anime Hair: Psychic Boss' mohawk.
- Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: They can merge together to form a giant monster...which is named the Best Psychic Pal.
- Author Avatar: Psychic Boss is Malachai, Psychic Helper is Ethan.
- Big Bad
- Fat and Skinny
- Lean and Mean: Psychic Boss.
- Psychic Powers: Though despite their name, they actually don't use them that much.
- Those Two Bad Guys
The Evil Magician Woman Riding A Gorilla Riding A Lion
Voiced by: Jane Adams
- Hellish Pupils: In the comics, she and all her followers have yellow eyes with rectangular red pupils, though hers are tinted by her green shades.
- Killed Mid-Sentence: Yet her spells succeed anyway.
- Large Ham: In her animated appearance, though it may stem from grief from losing her children by the time we meet her.
- No Name Given: But supplementary material indicates it's "Psychic Wazasha". Her TV episode doesn't give her the chance to perform any magic, so there she's known as merely "The Evil Redheaded Woman."
Voiced by: Al LeVine (FXX show), Rowell Gormon (Bad Guy Earth preview)
Goo Cop (Frank Wrinkleburd)
- Arm Cannon: Typically changes his hands into triple-barreled goo guns.
- Came Back Strong: When Axe Cop recreates him in gold form.
- Puppeteer Parasite: His method of Mind Manipulation is to fire some of his goo into a person's brain through the face.
- Sour Supporter: Though he fights valiantly on Axe Cop's side, he's not above calling Axe Cop out on delaying the search for his family, or finding it ridiculous that the Martian scientist suddenly has a brother they have to fight.
- Touched by Vorlons: Was the subject of an alien experiment to turn humans into more such aliens, but something went wrong and left him as a Goo Man.
- Voluntary Shapeshifting: Can change shape into useful items like gliders and rocket ships, but can never change back from being goo.
Voiced by: Clancy Brown
- Disposable Superhero Maker: Parodied: Junior got his powers from a discarded machine because he was the only gorilla smart enough to plug it in.
- Everything's Better with Monkeys: And on Junior Cobbb's planet, their gorillas are different: They have tails, stand on tiptoe, and suffer early-onset dementia, and we find them at war with robotic penguins.
- Finger Firearms: His robotic gloves contain machine guns in the knuckles.
- My Nayme Is: When asked whether "Cobbb" was spelled with one B or two, Malachai Took a Third Option.
- The Power of Creation: His tail has the power to produce jet planes or any other object he imagines.
- Sizeshifter: Can grow as big as he wants, allowing him to shoot larger objects and better reference King Kong.
- Talking Animal
The Evil Scientist from Mars (Dr. Tuwo)
Voiced by: Alfred Molina
- Big Bad: Masterminded the Million-Year War and the creation of Every Man and possesses the power to terminate anyone who defects with the press of a button.
- Do Not Adjust Your Set: A broadcast that covers "all over Earth and space" announces his intentions to gather an army to kill Axe Cop.
- Enraged by Idiocy: The animated version claims he's driven to genocide by all the stupid people in the world causing his brain pain.
- Last Words: Only after Axe Cop deals the killing blow does Dr. Tuwo reveal his name as well as the name of his brother Dr. Playo.
- Mad Scientist
- My Brain Is Big: Visible through a clear dome over his unusual goggles.
- Powered Armor: Contains a number of telescoping weapons, along with rocket boots.
- We'll See About That: Apparently his motive for invading Earth is Axe Cop bragging that Earth is invasion-proof.
Tu and Bu
- Card-Carrying Villains: To a greater extent than most: While meditating, they vow to become "the devilest bad guys."
- Combining Mecha: Along with vehicles like motorcycles and monster trucks, Tu and Bu can form a giant robot Axe Cop (not that it fools anyone).
- Fat and Skinny: In the sense that Bu is the rounder, bulkier one.
- Kill the God: They try to hurl the Space Needle into the heart of God, but Axe Cop deflects it. They do succeed in mutilating Satan enough to take over his minions, though.
- Omnicidal Maniacs: Destroyed whole planets starting with their own and even blew up an entire "good guy universe".
- Rebellious Spirit: Hated everything about their planet and broke all the rules to try to get their own way all the time.
- Robo Family: They're giant robot brothers who rebelled against their parents so they could keep making bombs.
- Alien Abduction: First they kidnap Frank Wrinkleburd and transform him into Goo Man, then they kidnap Goo Man's family in retaliation when he escapes, then they kidnap Junior Cobbb's father, eventually turning them all into goo.
- Hypno Ray: They use mind-control lasers to turn some bakers into murderers just to divert attention from a simple theft.
- Little Green Men
- My Brain Is Big: And exposed through seams in the middle of their heads, though they're not considered very smart.
- No Name Given: The story never gives their names, species, or associations otherwise; they're just two aliens.
- Who's Laughing Now?: Their endgame plans are motivated by the other bad guys kicking them out of the gang for incompetence.
- An Axe to Grind
- Badass Beard: His is brown, and like the animated Sockarang, has rough edges.
- Brought to You by the Letter "S": His Chest Insignia is a giant "A", more likely for "Axe" than for "America".
- Captain Superhero
- Fainting: Despite his Big Damn Heroes introduction, he passes out the first time he sees the giant aliens, Robozorkabocks.
- General Ripper: Ironically for this trope name, it is the generals of General Planet that he would not be convinced are no longer his enemies, leading to Captain Axe poisoning Axe Cop on suspicion of being an evil general.
- Leader Wannabe: More than once insists he should lead Axe Cop's team as The Captain.
- Nephewism: An uncle is his only known family. It's possible his parents perished in an interplanetary war.
- Throwing Your Shield Always Works: His "metal Frisbee shield" is another way in which he is an homage to Captain America.
- Transforming Vehicle: His RV can turn into a helicopter, a monster truck jet with gun turrets, and a hot air balloon, and it can turn invisible.
- Wearing a Flag on Your Head: His costume and weapons are covered in blue, white and red stripes, and white stars, which fits his becoming a founding member of the American Choppers.
Voiced by: Megan Mullally
- Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: With Flute Cop.
The Chief of the Normal Police
Voiced by: Tyler, The Creator
Voiced by: Todd Barry
- Ink-Suit Actor: One of the most notable instances. He always resembles his voice actor Todd Barry, and one episode names him Todd.
- New Job as the Plot Demands: Has sold Axe Cop everything from a stay at a resort to a dating profile to Tricked-Out Gloves to a giant dinosaur horn, that last one on another planet no less. Has also been both Grey Diamond's favorite mail guy and the one he tried pawning his diamond to!
- Obstructive Bureaucrat: Whether or not he's in the right, Todd seems to exist to try Axe Cop's patience.
Voiced by: Mike O'Malley
- Catch Phrase: "...with my gun."
- Dirty Cop: He plots to kill Axe Cop and Flute Cop because they're killing more bad guys than him.
- Expy: Of Telescope Gun Cop from the comics, playing the role of a rival cop who is Axe Cop's first enemy. We see him playing with a Telescope Gun Cop action figure as a child.
- Jerkass: Even as a child, he picks on Axey and Flutey for no real reason.
- Rival Turned Evil
- Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: He constantly insists that the only way to kill bad guys is to simply shoot them with a gun. Axe Cop protests because he thinks it's too boring.
Voiced by: Jack McGee
- A Dog Named "Dog"
- Always Second Best: What Thanksgiving is considered among autumn holidays, and the reason Turkey Turkey targets Halloween for its candy.
- Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: He was a normal turkey who grew giant because his wings were never clipped.
- Battle Chant: "Gobble gobble."
- Big Eater: Claims to have eaten all the candy in the universe—whole, as Axe Cop later recovers a thousand candies still in their wrappers.
- Bond Villain Stupidity: When he has Axe Cop and Ghost Cop trapped and knocked out in his oven, Turkey Turkey leaves them there for four weeks so they can wake up on Thanksgiving day, because "I like my Thanksgiving dinner well-rested."
- Civilized Animal
- Feathered Fiend
- Feather Flechettes: Hides razor feathers all over his body to throw in combat.
- Large and in Charge: Of Thanksgiving World.
- Repetitive Name
- To Serve Man: Plans to bake Axe Cop and Flute Cop into mirepoix to serve to his army of evil pilgrims.
Voiced by: Udo Kier
- Forehead of Doom: The tall forehead serves as a reminder of similar villains played by Udo Kier.
- Herr Doktor: Suggested by his outfit, his vocal performance, and his experimentation on deceased prisoners, of course.
- Manipulative Bastard: With a few cool words, he tricks Axe Cop into helping his scheme and nearly gets away with capturing Flute Cop for use in the same.
- Only in It for the Money: He grows souped-up Plant Person Mooks not for himself, but to auction off to any other bad guy bosses.
- Wardens Are Evil: But indirectly: He allows Axe Cop to decapitate as many inmates as he likes while the warden hopes to remain "a man of the law."
- Wicked Cultured: Implied by sipping wine and listening to opera on his time off.
Voiced by: David Strathairn
- Evil Poacher: He leads a whole army of them, out to poach everything all the way down to the cryptids.
- Exotic Entree: Because You Are Who You Eat in this world, the Extincter and his henchmen eat the brains of the animals they wipe out so they can sprout animal parts at will.
- Nemean Skinning: Wears the hide of Panthera Awesome; the rest of his kills quickly become mounted heads in his Trophy Room cabin.
- They Called Me Mad!: Was kicked out of the zoo he worked at for proposing to kill off "boring" animals and put their parts into other animals in an attempt to improve attendance.