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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Axe Cop
The Nicolle family are polygamous Fundamentalist Mormons.
Their seventy-year-old, "old-fashioned" dad has many children of widely diverse ages by multiple wives (and Ethan still refers to himself as Malachai's brother, not half-brother). The Nicolle family is very religious.

Leaf Man is a descendant of Wood Man.
The power to manipulate leaves, his easy defeat by a robot...

Malachai Nicolle is actually GIR.
Compare GIR's take on the events of Mysterious Mysteries with... pretty much everything that goes on in Axe Cop.

Near the end of the story, Axe Cop will have a run-in with the Perfect Fireman.
Ask Axe Cop #5 suggests that he already had an axe before he became a police officer. Between that and Axe Cop #1, it's possible that he either discarded his previous axe for the Perfect Fireman Axe or lost it in a fight. Since his previous axe was possibly imperfect, he wasn't capable of doing any of the stunts we see him do in the main series. It still has yet to be explained who owned the Perfect Fireman Axe before the series started, so I suspect that he will want it back if he's still alive.
  • Half-confirmed in Ask Axe Cop 65. The fireman who owned the axe before looks like an ordinary fireman in need of his axe, but at least Axe Cop makes amends.

Mount Everest is our Earth's embryonic Smart Uni-Horn.
First a little about plate tectonics for those who don't know: the India landmass is slowly squeezing Northward into Asia. This squeezing is what made the Himalayas (incl. Mt. Everest) rise. Yes, that means we are getting smarter, only at a painfully slooooow rate.
  • So why haven't the smartest people started showing any signs of unicorn horn growth? In the comic, the individual horns sprouted before the planet's did.
    • Because nobody on Earth is as smart as any of the people on Uni-Smart World. However, there are a lot more people on Earth than there are on Uni-Smart World, so our combined smartness managed to make a horn.

In Ask Axe Cop #19, Axe Cop's smartness was sabotaged by a unicorn horn.
Before that episode started, a bad guy used a unicorn horn off-screen and dropped Axe Cop's razor-sharp intellect and cause him to attack innocent animals. I refuse to believe he could make such a simple misjudgment before driving Psydrozon into a normal zoo, especially after the tragedy with the mermaids.

Uni-man is actually a Ganmen
Don't tell me you don't see the resemblance. The only question is now whether or not he will combine them all into a single giant horn. And don't tell me you don't want it to happen.

Malachi is the reincarnation of Light Yagami.
They've got the same sense of morality - all the bad guys need to die, and the good guys should be the ones to do it. But unlike his previous incarnation, Malachi doesn't think killing innocent people is okay, as seen in Ask Axe Cop #15.

They're perfect Cross Over material.

Axe Cop is a Blood Knight.
His entire agenda revolves around crimefighting. Knowing he can't fight all crime in the world on his own, he frequently seeks out partners, but quickly discards weak comrades (see Ask Axe Cop #7, particularly the ending) and doesn't mourn those lost in battle. After the battle with King Evilfatsozon, the remaining team members do not so much as mention Baby-Man, the Wrestler, Mr. Stocker, or even Leaf Man, who got them to fight the aliens in the first place. Other Ask Axe Cop strips show that he is very discriminating in his tryouts and will go to any length to have other powerful individuals join his ranks, be it by force (the Best Fairy Ever) or by asking them without even introducing himself (the King of All Time). Wexter is a terrifying enough ally, but Axe Cop saw it fit to augment him with chaingun arms. Even on vacation, he locks himself in a hotel room and reviews his previous fights for a week. When Flute Cop auditioned in Axe Cop's first tryout, he felt a bond with him, a vibe that warrior brothers share, and accepted him without question. Ask Axe Cop #9 even hints that he does it for the glory. He murdered Chuck Norris just because he pointed out that he doesn't have a pet. When all evil in the world is eradicated, Axe Cop has no further plans as seen in his political platform. And that's not even beginning to mention his enthusiasm and anxiousness to chop heads off. With much of his character centered on combat, perhaps Axe Cop is not as entirely righteous as we take him to be.
  • Pretty much confirmed by #21, which informs us that our hero chose to become a cop so he could kill bad guys all day and night.
  • Actually, it's worst than that. Not only do they not mourn them, but they also sent the "good" robots after the evil "robots", meaning they helped slaughter thier freinds, even though Uni-Man could have easily wished them better, or the whole team immune to thier bites. But who cares? It's Cool

Axe Cop is Malachai's Author Avatar.
They were both born in 2004 and share many of the same interests (dinosaurs, ghosts, playing with axes...)

The Ask Axe Cop segments are not entirely truth.
With so many contradictions of Axe Cop's origin present throughout the Ask Axe Cop chapters, it's easy to assume that his Easy Amnesia has some kind of lasting effect. That or he's just making stuff up to impress the readers. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but still.
  • I am pretty sure that he also lies in case bad guys would read "Ask Axe Cop"

For reasons that should be obvious.

Axe Cop's shotgun sword is actually Telescope Gun Cop's weapon.
After he blew up his lab, he took the telescoping gun and held onto it for whenever the need for one arose. He later had Uni-Man modify it a la episode 37 and when the time came, he augmented its original abilities by adding a barrel to the gun and a blade to the flashlight component. It's also possible that Uni-Man built his go-kart to match the technology of the aliens.

Malachi must have played some RPG game recently
Because here they start refering to their enemy as "The Boss" and whenever they hit him, they talk about how much "life" thier attacks take away and how much "damage" thier secret attack does.

Axe Cop insists there can be only one to protect those around the fools who think otherwise.
Axe Cop faces many dangers and villains that even many of us have trouble comprehending. When he finds a wannabe or a pretender, he kills them on the spot out of mercy. He reasons that anyone who would try to be an axe cop thinks that they know what they're in for and are willing to risk their lives in the name of justice, but bearing a fireman axe is far too much responsibility for those without the powers and allies he possesses. Such people cannot be reasoned with or convinced to return to a normal life, so he offs them before any damage is done.
  • Compare to the previous short answer mashup, where Axe Cop clearly does not look happy to have to kill an evil Uni-Baby, and here where he does not show any remorse to chopping off the head of a wannabe axe cop who wanted to be on his team. In the first case, he was about to chop off the evil Uni-Baby head in tears because it was not by choice she ended up that way. In the second, he does so out of frame with no such remorse implied. He is killing someone who had consciously made a bad decision and he feels a responsibility to nip it in the bud.
  • Axe Cop may have rescinded this policy since discovering Axe World, or he does indeed make exceptions for axe cops with comparable powers and allies.

It all runs on video game logic.
Items, blood, fruits and fire act as power-ups. New members frequently join the party. There are wandering bad guys everywhere. Temporary jobs unrelated to the main quest are available (such as working in a fruit stand). Villain hideouts are clearly mapped. After unlocking all weapons, you may still have to purchase them at a weapon store, found anywhere. Valuables are obtained out of enemy remains. All characters have secret or special moves, sometime involving trucks or planets. Golden weapons are more powerful. You may have had the solution with you all along and not know it. You can take your time between key events. Innocent citizens are complete idiots. As pointed out before, there are bosses and damage points. Going to a certain place may require visiting a very specific character (like a dragony dragon witch). The overall design is not really that unusual. The unicorn horns are probably a cheat code, though.

After participating in the crossover, Malachai has been reading Dr. McNinja himself.
In (at the time of this writing) the latest Ask Axe Cop, Axe Cop mentions training to be a crime fighter by studying Batman movies. That's pretty much how Dr. McNinja described how he trained his skills.
  • And now we have dinosaurs leaving Earth and ending up on another planet, much like Dr. McNinja's "Space Savers" chapter.

Malachai is just getting into his Toilet Humor phase.
Let's face it, we all went through a phase as kids when we thought that poop jokes were the funniest things ever. Now look at the new comics. Dr. Doo Doo, Doody Soldiers, Planet Poop, Poop Get Rid Of World, Poopnevermaker food... it all adds up.

Axe Cop is actually a follower of Khorne.
He was lying about throwing away the chopped heads in Ask Axe Cop. He actually has a massive Skull Throne in his basement.
  • Or maybe he is Khorne.
  • The guys whose job it is to take out the Head Trash are Khorne's followers. It's a recycling program.

Army Chihuahua is a member of the Chihuahua family that adopted Axey.
There's no reason he wouldn't be, really. Yes, his first name is Army. It's more normal than any of the names of the previously seen family members.
  • Alternatively, he was a normal chihuahua until he got army blood spilled on him. This was Jossed in part 4.
    • Not quite. We just know that he was a soldier - we don't know if he might be related in some way to Axey's foster parents, even if he's a distant cousin or something. We never did hear his name before he turned into a chihuahua - for all we know, it's appropriately absurd.
  • Note that in the Thanksgiving special, Axe Cop has a Chihuahua family picture on the wall behind the table. Perhaps Ethan knows and is foreshadowing us?

The world of Axe Cop contains both Good-Guy music and Bad-Guy music.
These musics will only hurt you if youíre bad or good, respectfully. Canonically, Axe-Copís band plays this, but so has Ralph Wrinkles (singing), Sockarang (when he got Bad Santa's powers), and Flute Cop. The Annoying Singing Tree and Bad Santa used Bad Guy music. The reason they werenít killing people with it is that they were only solo acts.

Jack and John are brothers.
They have to be.

Axe Cop's origins don't conflict.
Reread the second panel of Episode 1. It's only implied that he became Axe Cop because of finding that axe. We learn later on that he was already Axe Cop; he found the sweet axe on his first day.
  • To give a timeline of Axe Cop's origin: he was born to Bobber and Gobber Smartist and grew up on their farm. Originally, he wanted to be a fireman, but after a rabbit was breaking the rabbit rules by walking and eating coconuts instead of hopping and eating carrots, he intervened by chopping its head off. Although he got in trouble with his mother, that made him decide to become a cop. However, later on, Axey's parents were poisoned by a time-travelling Telescope Gun Cop. Axey and Flute Cop decided to start their career as cops to avenge their parents' deaths, but backed into each other and were knocked out. They were raised by the Chihuahua family and eventually graduated from fighting school, but Axey lived his life at home eating all night and sleeping all day until bad guys tried to steal his food, upon which Axey discovered that he could generate food as poisonous to bad guys. It was then that he remembered his dreams of becoming a cop, so he went to the police station, bringing with him an axe. Since there was no one there, Axey signed up, becoming Axe Cop, and took a uniform, then immediately ran out to the scene of a fire, where he found the Perfect Fireman Axe. Already skilled in using axes, Axe Cop took it, since it was the better weapon. Then he held tryouts and reunited with his brother, who went with him to kill a gang of dinosaurs. See? It works.

Axe Cop's universe is a dystopia.
After spacefaring humans developed or discovered the "wish items", a general breakdown in the previously accepted laws of physics resulted, causing paranormal crime to skyrocket immensely. Eventually, an equilibrium formed so that wishes could not contradict previous ones, forcing crime fighters to get creative in how they wished, creating many seemingly arbitrary wishes. Now, facing the complete breakdown of normal society, only vigilante violence remains as a method of protecting humanity from bad guys.

Psydrozon was created by the Invisible Bad Guy King.
The Invisible Bad Guy King is a gigantic cyclops. Psydrozon is a gigantic mechanical cyclops. Clearly Psydrozon was built in the Bad Guy King's image, and probably sent to conquer Earth by him.
  • Jossed, Psydrozon was built by King Evilfatsozon, which is why he's immune to Psydrozon's weapons.

Axe Cop has Werner syndrome.
How else can he be born in 2004 yet looks like a grown man.
  • Axe Cop and Flute Cop were also said to be 10 years old before their parents died. Unless that was meant to describe their apparent ages, we can take it to mean the series takes place in the future.

Malachai read the FAQ.
It mentions that there will probably not be any female or black characters, and implies that Baby Man will probably not return. All of these were addressed in the same incredibly amazing story arc.

Dr. Stinky Head will return.

Axe Cop is (inspired from) John 'Sleepy' Estes of the Mad Bull 34 anime.
Think about it: they have the similar mustache, body build, and the desire to kill bad guys!

They only fire what they're supposed to because the user expects them to. The scam artists who sold the guns didn't know how to remove the backfiring function, so they just hoped to get away with the sale before anyone noticed the problem.
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