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Recap / South Park S 15 E 1 "HumancentiPad"

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At recess, most of the kids are glued to their iPads, and Cartman lords his tablet over the students who don't have one - until Craig points out that it's just an iPad back glued to a piece of glass. It emerges that Liane has promised him an iPad as a birthday present, but he wants one now, and rants at her for "fucking" him. She relents and drives him to Best Buy, but balks at the $900 price tag and tries to interest her son in a Toshiba HandiBook instead, sparking another tantrum in which Cartman accuses his mother of "fucking" him... whereupon a furious Liane drives him straight home. But he's not giving in so easily, and goes on Dr. Phil, where they believe he is speaking literally when he talks about his mother "fucking" him, despite Liane crashing the taping session to explain. They decide to contact Apple to coordinate a PR gesture for the "victim".

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Meanwhile, Kyle shows off his iPad to a customer at Sizzler's, who is hesitant to embrace Apple products owing to claims that they track their users' every movement. Kyle dismisses this as a myth - just as Apple employees show up and verify that he has the weight and bloodwork they need for their newest experiment... to which he unwittingly agreed after accepting the latest iTunes user agreement. He tries to hide in Gerald's law office, but the Apple employees taser his father and throw Kyle in a cell with a woman and a Japanese man, Junichi, to be part of Steve Jobs' scheme to create an iPad powered by three humans sharing one gastric tract, the HumancentiPad. Kyle has his mouth sewn to Junichi's anus and the woman's mouth sewn to his own anus, and Junichi is fed food notorious for causing diarrhea that makes its way through Kyle to the woman's anus to power an iPad. Kyle repeatedly botches possible ways out by signing documents without reading them, only to learn that they make the agreement more binding.

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At the same time, Stan, Kenny, and Butters tell Gerald (a lifelong PC user) that the user agreement states quite clearly that users are giving Apple permission to sew their mouths to other iTunes users' anuses, and other users' mouths to their own anuses. They take Gerald to the Apple Store to meet with the Geniuses, who initially offer them a new friend to replace Kyle. Gerald is not satisfied, so the Geniuses take part in a series of bizarre rituals (including the Quickening and the Toran Rah) before telling Gerald that if he becomes an Apple customer, he can make Kyle's account part of a family account for which he has final approval. Gerald reluctantly agrees.

The three subplots convene as Cartman is presented with the HumancentiPad after his appearance on Dr. Phil. He's delighted: a tablet that browses the Internet and defecates in Kyle's mouth is everything he ever dreamed of. But Gerald shows up and announces that he has invalidated Kyle's agreement, and suggests that while the HumancentiPad may be the future, perhaps we should enjoy the present. Steve Jobs agrees and sends the CentiPad to be dismantled. An enraged Cartman now begins screaming at God for "fucking" him... and one Bolt of Divine Retribution from an unamused God later, Cartman ends the episode sobbing in a hospital bed, covered in burn marks, with an impassive Liane at his side.

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Was the subject of the documentary TV special 6 Days To Air: The Making of South Park.


This episode provides examples of:

  • An Aesop: Always read before you sign, because you might be signing up for things you didn't want.
  • And I Must Scream: Kyle having to get his mouth sewn to an Asian person's ass while turned into a device while still alive. It could have been worse if the HumancentiPad wasn’t discontinued.
  • Big Bad: Steve Jobs.
  • Big "NO!":
    • Steve Jobs angrily screams "No!" each time Kyle stupidly signs an agreement without reading it first.
    • When Cartman asks his mother to go back to Best Buy to get the Toshiba HandiBook instead of the iPad Cartman wanted and made a scene, his mother yells out "No!".
  • Bolt of Divine Retribution: Cartman yells at God after his HumancentiPad is taken away. Cartman is then struck by lightning and ends up in a hospital room.
  • Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: Cartman is overjoyed at the capabilities of the HumancentiPad: e-mail, web browsing, and shitting in Kyle's mouth.
  • Comically Missing the Point: When Cartman's mom is mad at him for his tantrum at Best Buy, Cartman thinks he's just getting punished for not getting the iPad he wanted due to "fuck" being a "no-no word."
  • "Could Have Avoided This!" Plot: As acknowledged by the characters multiple times, Kyle wouldn't have become the middle of the HumancentiPad if he had simply read the agreement and declined the conditions.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: "Go ahead, Mom! Fuck me! Fuck me right here in the Best Buy! You wanna fuck your son so bad?! Go on Mom! Fuck me! FUCK ME!!!".
  • Hope Spot: Just when it looks like Kyle might be surgically taken apart by doctors, it turns out to be a simulation by Steve Jobs to see if Kyle could read, and, unfortunately, he didn't read it (not like Kyle could read, since his mouth is attached to a Japanese man's anus).
  • Jerkass Has a Point: Steve Jobs might be holding people against their will and doing horrible things to them that spits in the face of man and God, but he's not doing any of it without their legal, written permission to do so. He even gets angry at Kyle for just signing a contract placed in front of him without even looking at it, which allows them to keep doing the experiment.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: Cartman rightfully gets his well-deserved punishment for being his usual Spoiled Brat of a Fat Bastard self.
  • Mistaken for Pedophile: Liane because of Cartman's horrible lying.
  • Read the Fine Print: Kyle and the others clicked yes without knowing what they signed up for:
    Butters: "By clicking 'Agree,' you are also acknowledging that Apple may sew your mouth to the butthole of another iTunes user. Apple and its subsidiaries may, if necessary, sew another person's mouth to your butthole, making you a being that shares one gastric tract." I'm going to click on... 'Decline.'
  • Replacement Goldfish: Since Apple took Kyle away, the Geniuses offer the boys a replacement friend.
  • Shout-Out: The episode's plot and title are based on The Human Centipede.
  • Space Whale Aesop: Read the fine print, or else you'll accidentally agree to be surgically conjoined with two other people in a human centipede and agree to further waivers of your rights.
  • Tempting Fate:
    • Kyle tells a man that Apple doesn't really track where users are at all times and it's just a rumor. Seconds later, Apple employees show up to abduct him to become part of the HumancentiPad.
    • Cartman accuses God of "fucking him" and subsequently gets struck by a Bolt of Divine Retribution.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Liane doesn't stand for any of Cartman's nonsense in this episode.
  • Villain with Good Publicity:
    • Angry that his mother Liane won't buy him the $899.99 iPad, Cartman lies to everyone that she's out to sexually abuse him on a daily basis, when it really means that she's "fucking him over" whatever he wants to get. And his horrible, twisted lies actually work - everyone believes him and works to help him gain an iPad afterwards.
    • Steve Jobs as well, as he is the inventor of Apple and all Apple products. The fact that he inserts very abusive terms and conditions into Apple software agreements before netting the people who clicked Agree and forces them to become his next experiments gains him no notoriety at all.

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