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Funny / Zulu Squad no Tsukaima

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  • The interactions between Saito and Crosby sometimes descends into Snark-to-Snark Combat, but there are some real gems in their interactions.
    • The exchange when Crosby is trying to get Saito to leave Kirche's room before Louise finds out is a riot:
      Saito: “Are you kidding me? This beautiful girl is throwing herself at me and you want me to leave?”
      Crosby: “Yep.”
      [Saito gestured to Kirche, who had taken a seat on her bed and making very provocative poses.]
      Saito: “You want me to leave that behind.”
      Crosby: “Once again, if you value you life, yes.”
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  • And of course when Louise does inevitably find out, the results are predictably hilarious.

  • And then there is the interactions with Crosby and Lugo, who is back to his old wisecracks like he was in the beginning of the video game.
    Lugo: “Hey, sarge! As the farmer said to the horse, why the long face?”
    [Crosby shakes his head.]
    Crosby: “I must be losing my edge.”
    Lugo: “So the princess gave you both barrels with those big, shimmering doe eyes of hers as she pleaded her case, so what?”
    Crosby: “That’s enough, sergeant.”
    Lugo:“…just because you allowed Guiche to come along doesn’t mean you caved. Well, actually you did, but hey, these local gals are real cute when they look at you like that…”
    Crosby:“Are you quite through, sergeant?”
    Lugo:“…it just means you’re starting thaw and become more human, sarge. I mean, the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes last night. Well, maybe more like two sizes. Maybe one. I don’t know, can Grinch’s hearts grow in half-size increments?”
    Crosby:“Done, sergeant?”
    Lugo:Yep, I’m golden.”
    Crosby: “Then zip the lip and take point.”

  • The bit in Crosby's dream sequence when the Weaver of Fate trolling The Radioman by turning him into a pony to remind him of their bargain.
    • Doubles as a Heartwarming Moment when you realize she is doing it to cheer up Sgt. Crosby.

  • Pretty much every one of Crosby's companions get a zinger in at one time or another, but Lt. Bowles channeling another helicopter pilot is comedy gold.

    Bowles: “Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Lt. Timothy Bowles, thank you for flying Tristainia Airlines; I'll be your pilot this afternoon. Federal regulations designate this as a "non-smoking" Little Bird chopper. For those of you who have the ‘Helkeginia Frequent Flyer’ program, you'll be earning double points on this flight, and for the pink-haired walking IED, the air sickness bags are located in the seat-back, in front of you. As for Sgt. Lugo, if you feel the need to toss your cookies, feel free to lean over the side and do so without getting any inside our craft, and try not to fall to your death. Thank you very much, and we’ll be taking off shortly.”

    • Tebby even gets one in as well:

      Tebby: “Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Corporal Jebediah Tebby, your regular pilot Lt. Bowles is currently indisposed at the moment enjoying some female company, so I will be your pilot this morning. Thank you for flying Tristainia Airlines, we have about a forty to fifty minute flight ahead of us, depending on the weather. Unfortunately our flight attendants are on strike so there will be no beverage or snack service on this flight. As for in-flight entertainment, you have the choice of watching our pink-haired walking IED abuse her boyfriend, or Sgt. Crosby getting his face wedged between Big Red’s melons. Please be advised that due to violence and adult themes, the entertainment is rated PG-13, parental guidance strongly suggested. I wish to point out that if you feel the nicotine cravings due to the unwanted harem wanting to fuck your brains out or the like you’ll be SOL, as federal regulations designate this as a "non-smoking" flight. Thank you very much, and we’ll be taking off shortly.”

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  • The Heavy Trooper Lt. Gordon getting razzed by his fellow officers in the 33rd after he gets hitched to the elf Tiffania, specifically on his unwillingness to consummate the marriage.

  • The entire arc within the story starting with the chapter 'Close Combat Carnage', appropriately rated "ES" for "Extremely Silly", natch.

  • The chapter 'Bait and Switch' in which Colonel Konrad has found out that Princess Henrietta has been spiking his coffee with a love potion and decides to teach her a lesson. Namely, by acting love-crazy for her: giving the reader the hilarious visual of the usually stoic Bruce Boxleitner-voice CO of the Damned 33rd howling like a wolf and chasing Henrietta all over the palace, all the while the Radioman is providing commentary and appropriate music.

  • In chapter 186, 'Crossing the Rubicon': Lugo, Forbes and the Radioman are forced to face the results of their wild night out that they caused around the Tristainian Royal Palace.
    • Said debauchery included drinking enough brandy to intoxicate a platoon of Marines, jousting and playing target practice in the palace, and chasing a most of the female palace guards up a tree.
    • And even then, the three are still drunk off their eyeballs, and Konrad knows this as he is giving them their epic dress-down. Oh, and Forbes is missing a boot.

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