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     Evanescent Existence 
  • IT'S AOJI! NOT AOI OR AOKI!
  • Tsubakura demanding to know why Tsurubami was impersonating them.
    Tsubakura: So anyway! Why are you imitating me like this!? Is there something you're trying to accomplish?
    Tsurubami: Why would I imitate someone if I didn't have something to accomplish?
    Tsubakura: ... I'unno, as a hobby?
    Tsurubami: .....
    Tsubakura: .....
    Tsurubami: ... So anyway!
  • Clause tormenting Yabusame with their Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness.
    Yabusame: I get it already! I get it so if we're going to fight, let's start already!
    Clause: Heh heh, now don't be in such a rush. Have you ever heard the saying "haste makes waste"?
    Yabusame: Alright, I get it, I'll shut you up.
    Clause: By focusing too much on "haste", you will, over time, "waste" away your energy.
    Yabusame: This certainly is wasting both my energy and time...
  • Suzumi's trip through Evanescent Existence has them indulging in their Troll hobbies as they gather info. Some highlights include them tormenting Aoji...
    Aoji: Why is it that you, of all people, are in a place like this...?
    Suzumi: In order to chase after Master Tsubakura, silly! Duh. ♪
    Aoji: Tsubakura...? Oh, now that you mention it, I did encounter them earlier.
    Suzumi: Oh my... Aoji, don't tell me you're going to sell out your own friend.
    Aoji: Eh?! What, no, that's not what I...
    Suzumi: Bad kids like you need to be disciplined. ♪
  • Hooaka's Insult Backfire with Suzumi...
    Suzumi: You certainly say some horrible things, don't you.
    Hooaka: Sounds like the sorta thing you're known for.
    Suzumi: Why, I would never! Doing horrible things is more to my liking. ♪
    Hooaka: Ugh, you're the worst.
    Suzumi:And I've come to do horrible things today, too. ♪
  • The fact that even Clause annoys them too...
    Clause: Although, to an "informant" such as yourself, this could rather be classified as "valuable information".
    Suzumi: Mhm.
    Clause: In the first place, this "Disciple of Darkness" denomination...
    Suzumi: ...How are you even able to keep talking this long all by yourself...?
    Clause: Oh? Were you not giving me the silent treatment after all?
    Suzumi: Seriously, you make me sick. I'm going to murder you in cold blood one of these days.
  • And finally in the Extra portion, when Suzumi tries to question Tsurubami and pulls up Mugenri's spell card rules, Tsurubami turns it back on Suzumi saying they technically aren't in Mugenri and thus it doesn't apply, leading to Suzumi getting a dose of their own medicine.
    Suzumi: Hey, why did you go easy on me?
    Tsurubami: I'd be one hell of an idiot priest if I showed my full power to someone whose nature I don't know.
    Suzumi: Hm~, that so? Acting like a clever priest, are you?
    Tsurubami: A genius priest, actually.
    Suzumi: ...Eh, whatever. I hope you don't mind answering my questions from before. ♪
    Tsurubami: I ab-so-lute-ly do mind!
    Suzumi: ...What? Do you have a death wish?
    Tsurubami: Too bad. We're actually outside of Mugenri, so its rules don't apply here.
    Suzumi: ......Then I'll kill you.
    Tsurubami: But you are aware that there's no way you can pull that off with your level of power, yes?
    Suzumi: Gaaahhh, you're so irritating...
    Tsurubami: I get that a lot.

     Earthen Miraculous Sword 
  • This little exchange of Shou trying to avenge Jun's defeat by fighting Tsubakura by themselves.
    Tsubakura: You know what you're asking for, right? I'm not going to slow down for a slug..
    Shou: Well if that's the case, then I guess I'll just stop you by force♪
    Tsubakura: That's a good plan, I hope you fight bravely.
    Shou: So stop already, I'll get revenge for Jun!
    Tsubakura: So they were dead after all, then.
    Shou: They better not be, or you'll pay!
  • Shou losing to Yabusame. They even gets salt sprinkled on them. And they are a slug youkai, for God’s sake!
    Yabusame: It's about time to sprinkle this salt on you now.
    Shou: Eehhhh?! Not the salt~
    Yabusame: Ha ha~ This is fun~
    Shou: No, I'm really gonna die!
    Yabusame: Ehehe~
  • Suzumi also gets in on the fun of bullying Shou, and how Shou refers to them at first.
    ???: HEY, YOU! TURBAN FREAK!!
    Suzumi: Ahh... and here they are.
    Shou: YOU! You're the one who gave Jun a hard time!!
    Suzumi: Yep, that's me.
    Shou: I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOOOOU!!!
    Suzumi: Guess there's no option left but murder, then.
    Shou: Eh?
    Suzumi: If you won't forgive me, then there's no choice left but for me to murder you!
    Shou: Wai... hey, isn't that a bit extreme?!
  • Saragimaru attempting to introduce themselves to Yabusame. Actually, the entire scene between them is gold:
    Saragimaru Hrm... striking down some poor drunken fool certainly doesn't sit well with me, though...
    Yabusame: Haeh?! No waaay! Ah ain't drunk!
    Saragimaru: Yes, of course not, clearly. That aside, my name is Adagumo no Saragimaru...
    Yabusame: Hoho... yeh, an' my name's Yabusame no Salami-maru.
    Saragimaru: Oh, this is hopeless. I had intended to eliminate all those who would sully Master Yaorochi's happiness, but...
    Yabusame: Aah?! Ahh... I coulda' sworn it was on th' tip of m'tongue jus' now, but I lost it...
    Saragimaru:...Yeah, they're completely hammered.
    Yabusame: I'm telling you, I ain't DRUNK!
    • And in RMI, Yabusame continues to call them “Salami”
  • Saragimaru threatens Tsubakura as a way of greeting. What's the first thing out of Tsubakura's mouth?
    Tsubakura: Mmmm... mmkay? Are you trying to flirt with me or something?
    • Come BPoHC, and Suzumi's introduction, and suddenly it's not so surprising why Tsubakura sometimes mistakes death threats for flirting.
  • Same game, Yabusame vs. Lumen:
    Yabusame: Ah, it's another idiot.
    Lumen: Don't call me an idiot before I even appear! Only idiots like roasted eel, after all!
    Yabusame: Mmm, Roasted eel~ Makes my mouth water~
  • Yabusame's encounter with Sukune:
    Sukune: M'name's Sukune, I work with clay n' stuff, chuu.
    Yabusame: So you make clay pots and figures? Those things from the Joumon and Yayoi periods?
    Sukune: Oh, for an idiot y'sure know a lot, nyah!
    Yabusame: Hehe~ You don't have to praise me for it.
  • Yaorochi vs. Yabusame. Poor Yabusame fells on the same lie that Sukune.
    Yaorochi: I am Adagumo no Yaorochi, a miracle worker.
    Yabusame: A miracle worker?...So you're a holy servant or something?
    Yaorochi: It's all a lie, however.
    Yabusame: Huh?
    Yaorochi: To naively accept whatever information your enemy gives you...Both you and Sukune are the same, simple fools.
    Yabusame: How mean, I really believed you. Everyone's always saying "Yabusame, you're so naive".''
  • After introducing themselves, Yaorochi wants to test the restored Sword of Kusanagi on Yabusame. Yabusame, instead of their usuually Almighty Janitor personality, wants to run for their life.
  • Sukune revealing that they transformed the legendary Tasouken into a bottle opener. The look on Yaorochi's face says it all.
  • When Suzumi enters Sukune's place, they're using Sukune's -yah at the end of their sentences. Sukune is not amused.
    Suzumi: Oh my, it's the cinnamon roll haniwa! ...Y'seem pretty chipper today, yah.
    Sukune: Bleh! That 'yah' stuff is my schtick, yah! It'sh patented!
    Suzumi: Oh, 's that right? Yah, sorry 'bout that, dinn't know.
    Sukune: N'you're still sayin' it! Yer gonna hafta pay me royalties for every time y'say it, yah!
    Suzumi: Wow, didn't expect you to be that shrewd.
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     Reactivate Majestical Imperial 
  • The official team names. Yabusame and Tsubakura are officially the Shrine Team, simply enough. However, Kuroji and Saragimaru are the Slaver Team, and Yaorochi and Sukune are the Bottle Opener Team.
  • Yaorochi's Blood Knight attitude is occasionally chuckle-worthy.
    Sese: Then, if Sese wins, can I have that sword as a prize?
    Yaorochi: Go die. (fight starts)
    • Also, Sukune trying to steal Sese's hat
  • Kuroji and Saragimaru's route is generally hilarious as they constantly bicker and take potshots at each other, but this line (from before their fight with Fumikado) just takes the cake:
    Saragimaru: Behold! The most evil, unreasonable, and treacherous person you'll ever meet, who deceives even crying children: the Brute Emperor, Lord Kuroji Shitodo!!
    Kuroji: Wow, someone's excited. Did you lose a screw or two back there?
  • Also, Kuroji will do anything to gain easy money. Everything. From stealing souls, beating Sese (because they have a bounty on their head), trying to steal Tsugumi's eggplant, trying to steal the Harujion, trying to stop Tenkai from repairing the barrier, offering to reveal Saragimaru's existance to Yaorochi in exchange for money...
  • Haniwa Team's Bad Ending. After being defeated by Shion, the chimera soul follows them, feels the smell of souls in the house and makes a ruckus while trying to find it. Cue broken clay pots everywhere and Sukune crying and attempting to save their claywork.
  • This moment when the Shrine Team meets with the Haniwa Team.
    Yabusame: That's right! It'll be fun and easier if the four of us go together!
    Yaorochi: ...
    Sukune: ...
    Tsubakura: ...
    Yabusame: ... So?
    Yaorochi: You fools.
    Sukune: Fools, nya.
  • Suzumi's route fights the Haniwa team as well, and includes this bit:
    Sukune: Yeah, my friend here's kind of a loose cannon...Y'oughta git back on home, phoo.
    Suzumi (Hamee): If it's the looseness of our cannons we're talking, I couldn't lose if I wanted to.
    Suzumi (Ardey): What kinda competition is this meant to be?
  • Suzumi's route also gives this absolute gem of an exchange from their encounter with Fumikado:
    Suzumi (Hamee): Hey, I've seen your face somewhere...
    Fumikado: Who... were you again?
    Suzumi (Hamee): Mm~, can't recall it myself~.
    Fumikado: I feel like we've met, and not too long ago...
    Suzumi (Hamee): I can't quite piece it together...I feel like a goldfish right now.
    Fumikado: What was it again....
    Suzumi (Ardey): Imbeciles, both of you.

     Brilliant Pagoda or Haze Castle 
  • Shion eating (or trying to) the souls and lifespans of enemies they run across in BPOHC reaches Comedic Sociopathy levels.
    Shion: Uhhh, Tsubakura? Can I eat their soul?
    Tsubakura: Huh? Hmmm...Go right ahead, I guess.
    Souko: What?!
  • SALT TO THE SLUGS!
  • Tsubakura's solution to the war between the Imperials and the Dragonflies: "Everyone straight-up dies."
  • Medias trying to act like a serious and competent soldier...until their animal instincts show up.
    Tsubakura: What kind of treat do you like the most?
    Medias: FISH!!
  • Fumikado's team meeting Souko. Souko tells them to put an end to the war, but Fumikado rudely refuses because they appear so lowly compared to them... then Tsugumi informs them that Souko is a celestial, and higher in rank than Fumi.
  • Kuroji blatantly admitting to having bribed the mayor of the human village to let them build their schoolhouse. Souko is horrified.
  • When the Shrine Team confronts Chouki. The majority of the conversation consists of the trio confusing and making fun of Chouki For the Lulz.
  • "W a r  o v e r  p l e a s e"
  • Tenkai being referred to as "melon" by various characters, and their reactions to it.
    • Terrifying Flying Death Melon
  • Kuroji's Height Angst.
  • Kuroji and Tsubakura bickering:
    Tsubakura: Of course, that could always just be another way that I'm manipulating your impression of me.
    Kuroji: I can realize that much. I'm not that stupid.
  • Chouki's sudden shouting of Fumikado's name any time they're mentioned gets pretty silly.
  • Mitori’s speech describing their coup d’etat takes a darkly hilarious turn:
    Mitori: “"Evil"? How rude! I only laid hands upon the old dynasty's royal household... and also the dignitaries who sided with the old emperor!...Also, some of the officers in the old Imperial Military, politicians who took part in corrupt deals and stuff, the heads of the old dynasty's conservative sects….Mass media representatives who were guilty of forgery and collusion with big businesses, the leaders of a so-called animal rights organization that was a big sham... The founders of some recent racially-discriminatory religious organizations, some disgraceful members of our military who had assaulted our own civilians... Oh and also the manager of an ice-cream store that charged way too much!!
  • Fumikado learning that their ally and subordinate, Iyozane, is actually the first heir to the throne in the Brilliant Pagoda Route, and their general flustered demeanor afterwards.
    Iyozane: Huh? Didn't I tell you? Originally I was the first ranking successor to the throne, the crown prince.
    Fumikado: ....Are you kidding meee?!
  • Suzumi's scenarios against enemies can be summed up as Hamee wanting to kill them and Ardey holding them back from doing so. Most of their dialogue in doing so is amusing in general.
    • Brilliant Route stage 3 gives this gem:
    Kunimitsu: So then, do I have no choice but to force you away?
    • In the Brilliant Route stage 5, Hamee suggests stopping home so they can “slip into something more Western”. Ardey proceeds to lose it:
    Ardey: ....We're going on like this.
    Hamee: Wuuh? Whyyyy?
    Ardey: Look, no! Never again!! No more of your disgusting cutesy-wutesy dress-up act!!
    Hamee: Eeehh~ But they're cuuute.
    Ardey: I'm embarrassed enough in this getup as is!
    • Suzumi (Hamee) vs Saragimaru. That is all:
    Suzumi: In exchange, tell me all about you.♪
    Saragimaru: ? About me? I don't mind, but I don't have anything interesting to tell you.
    Suzumi: Not tell. There are things you can't convey by words, aren't there?
    Saragimaru: Hm? What do you mean?
    Suzumi: I want our bodies to do the talking.♪
    Suzumi: Well, I don't necessarily need a living body, though. ♪
  • Yabusame's Accidental Innuendo after Xeno a suggests another round of fighting:
    Yabusame: I bet you could go for hours!
  • The New Emperor Team's encounter with Hooaka gives us this exchange:
    Fumikado: ...Seems like we've run into an idiot.
    Tsugumi: Our resident idiot's sayin' so, so it's gotta be true.
    Hooaka: Yes! I can read the mood, after all! I sensed a moronic atmosphere, and I'm acting moronic to match!
    Iyozane: Amazing! They could tell that there's an idiot on our side, too!
    Fumikado: I'd prefer it if you didn't refer to my subordinates as morons...
    Tsugumi: Ya don't need t' butt in. We already know you're clueless.
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