"What are friends for if not to eat goop off of each other?"
I Write Trials, Not Trebuchets
is the story of 17 year old Raven Willow Blood Charm in the story of a generation. Based on the D&D podcast Trials & Trebuchets, the story is set several years after the potential series finale, where the group SWIM has disbanded, and a new girl finds the fate of the universe in her hands.
Originally a parody of the Harry Potter fic My Immortal, it has since become much more than that, becoming a story of love and loss and multiple universes and the deterioration of both sanity and the fourth wall.
Tropes:
- Academy of Evil: Wildsith is a school meant to train evil force users and seek out Chancellor Underbough's future apprentice.
- Adaptational Villainy: On a meta level, Serinepth is far darker in Trials & Tragedies than she is in the original podcast. In-universe, every character has an evil counterpart at Wild Sith, such as Murderdeen, Severepth, and Iniquity.
- Addictive Magic: Teb's quest for magical power seems to have made him something other than human.
- An Aesop: It’s okay to be gay. If Raven hadn’t denied her gayness for Integrity, and if Mason hadn’t denied his feelings for Alyssa, none of this would’ve happened and nobody would’ve gotten hurt.
- Alpha Bitch: Even though she’s only been there a month, Raven's the most popular girl in school.
- Armies Are Evil: The forces of Patter seem to have a particularly dark and violent purpose.
- Artifact of Doom: Many of the God Objects, such as the Chaos Emeralds, can be used to destroy the universe.
- Author Avatar: Luke, the Dungeon Master on the podcast upon which this is based, appears and is promptly killed to fix a hole in reality.
- Big Bad Friend: Raven used to be friends with most of the main cast, and is now devoted to their destruction.
- Blue-and-Orange Morality: Do you know murder is ethical, actually?
- Born as an Adult: Veronica was originally born as the clone of Raven, and was technically only a few weeks old by the end of the first book.
- But Not Too Gay: Anytime a character may have feelings for a character of the same gender identity early on, it’s clarified that it’s not in a gay way. This is lessened over time as the author Mason comes to terms with his own gender and own sexuality.
- Corrupt Bureaucrat: Conductor Underbough.
- Capture and Replicate Delnys was taken off screen and replaced with a transfigured Clone Raven!!
- Create Your Own Villain: Veronica was only able to destroy the Prime Universe because Raven created her as a clone of herself.
- Crossover: Athene Willow from the fic "Athene Willow and the Kingsworthy Ring" appears in the trial sequence.
- Deal with the Devil: Multiple characters have sold their souls to Seltie to accomplish their personal goals.
- Decoy Protagonist: Book 3 begins by introducing a new lovable character for the reader to follow and grow attached to, Saphhire Moonlight God Spell, and then killing her off immediately.
- Doorstep Baby: Raven was abandoned as a baby, and is actually Elrich’s kid.
- Eat the Rich: Integrity's Class Warfare in Book 2 has this effect.
- Expelled from Every Other School: Applies to Raven, though Underbough still trusts her with the school's greatest secret regarding the chaos emeralds.
- Face–Heel Turn: Raven becomes so devoted to revenge that she trains as a Sith, prepared to kill her friends and Veronica, even though Veronica has obviously reformed.
- Former Teen Rebel: Artis.
- Fun with Acronyms: The team of Raven, Integrity, Mira, and Elrich is nicknamed RIME (a reference to SWIM from the original work). After Elrich dies, the acronym is shortened to RIM, and it’s up to them to complete their RIM job.
- Hot Teacher: Professor Underboo is kind of cute but not in that way cause he’s super old.
- Heel–Face Turn: After spending time with the rest of SWIM and experiencing friendship and the positive things in life, Veronica grows as a person and goes from villain to protagonist.
- Humanshifting: Raven disguises herself as Murundeen through the use of magical potion. The only problem is, she must regularly drink the potion or she will switch back to her regular form.
- I Regret Nothing: While she believes she is dying alone, Raven reflects how she doesn’t have any regrets before naming 3 of them.
- Incest Subtext: Raven and Delnys go out with each other and kiss, making it awkward when they realize they are actually sisters.
- Indifferent Beauty: Veronica fits this mold at the beginning of book 2.
- Innocently Insensitive: Dylan initially appears as an unpleasant Jerkass, but later seems to be a pretty decent guy.
- Karma Houdini: Arguably, and from Raven's perspective, Veronica.
- Laser Guided Tyke Bomb: Pirate Fidan is devoted to one purpose: Killing SWIM for their crime of stealing and killing her husband.
- Last Request: Elrich’s last words are asking Raven and Delnys to take care of each other.
- Lesbian Vampire: After the split with Veronica, Raven fits this trope.
- Love Dodecahedron: Raven likes Delnys and Murundeen, while Integrity likes Raven and Mira likes Murundeen, and Clone Raven likes Murundeen, and Artis loves the sea.
- Love Triangle: Mason doesn’t realize he loves both Alyssa and Dylan. Alyssa is jealous that Mason likes Dylan and that Dylan likes Mason. Dylan is just a dick who wants to sleep with them and he deserves what he got.
- Luke, I Am Your Father: omfg Elrich was Raven’s dad the whole time????
- A Nazi by Any Other Name: Corka and the rock fascists.
- Nested Story: The story of Mason is just as compelling as the story of The Ravens.
- No Fourth Wall: Murundeen squeezes your ass cheeks.
- At one point, Raven goes on a rant against Alyssa.
- Redemption Equals Death: Parodied with a class at Wild Sith and averted with Veronica.
- The Mole: Severepth.
- Oh, Crap!!: Winsler’s gun is missing, and Professor Underbut was shot, and Clone Raven is still missing...
- Self-Insert Fic: Raven begins as a self-insert for Mason, the author of the fic.
- Single-Minded Twins: The Lindmans.
- Shaped Like Itself: Happens on multiple occasions, such as how Raven’s heart is in her chest.
- Talk Like a Pirate: Artis speaks exclusively as a pirate, a deviation from the original work. This is because he is from a pirate universe. The real Artis died two years ago.
- Time Zones Do Not Exist: Averted. Time zones are quite the problem in book three.
- Torture Technician: Har... very very briefly.
- The Caligula: Corka.
- The Family That Slays Together: Two of the Big Bads, Raven and Pirate Fidan, are mother and daughter.
- The Nothing After Death: Murundeen says this is our fate when Clone Raven asks him what he believes in.
- Two-Person Love Triangle: After Prime Mira takes the body of her alternate-universe self, she struggles with whether to tell Train Delnys that she is no longer the original Mira.
- Unintentionally Notorious Crime: Integrity steals the chaos emerald thinking it was a topaz, though the colour seems to change depending on the chapter.
- Villain Decay: Parodied in-universe with Macavity.
- Wife-Basher Basher: Alyssa beats the shit out of the manipulative Dylan.
- Wizarding School: Wild Cliffe is not a lame school.
- Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: Sure, Veronica destroyed a universe that one time, but it was a tough time for her and she's grown a lot since then.
