Good day to you, lady and/or gentleman! I am Noaqiyeum and I am pleased to make your acquaintance. Please feel free to leave traces of your passage below the
Coda. Err... very sorry. I seem to be experiencing some
technical difficulties. It may become necessary to send a bleen alert. In the event of a BLIT inceptionnote or Fiction Metastability Event, please make sure you are securely fastened to your nearest reality before continuing. If no such reality is available, a brane of sufficient dimension may be found behind your quixotic cortex to stabilize your descent. Have a safe landing, and thank you for joining us on today's flight of fanc-anc-anc-ancancancancyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy*
Reports suggest that the script to your left is difficult to read. I thought it was a funny idea at the time, but I suppose it's come out somewhat poorly.
As I tend to have a lot of ideas that I thought were funny at the time but come out somewhat poorly, it shall remain in place, and use this space for clarifying notes.
This, of course, merely begs the question of how I ought to describe myself such that I won't get demands for
explanation. Let's see.
I am philosophical, whimsical, artistic, geeky, methodical, pedantic, secretive, confusing, honest, analytical, bibliophibian, slightly creepy, overly anxious and self-aware, and rather passive-aggressive. I consider complexity the measure of good art, intention and action the measure of good deeds, and a well-placed pun or reference the pinnacle of good humor. The general consensus seems to be that I am male and possibly British. I write and draw stuff that I might be too embarrassed to show you, I like forthright arguments and corn muffins (and
), and dislike thoughtlessness and Walt Whitman. In short, I am rather similar to this page: nonsensically elaborate and incomprehensibly confusing.
, if you would like to desecrate the ending bits of this page with tropes or salutatory remarks!
THIS IS WHERE TROPES DESCRIBING NOAQIYEUM GO:
- Affably Blue - someone Orange
- A Form You Are Comfortable With - We only assume they're human. :P - Stolen By Faeries
- Ambiguous Gender: Because no-one has put it here - Stolen By Faeries
- Badass Bookworm: You read more than pretty much everyone I know and are immeasurably more awesome. - Stolen By Faeries
- Badass Mustache - what I imagine Noa has. cutewihoutthe
- Blue and Orange Morality-invoked (fringeman)
- Brilliant, but Lazy: You have admitted that sloth is your greatest vice :P - Stolen By Faeries
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: This we shall always believe in. ^_^ ~ betterthanstrawberry
- Cassandra Truth: They are a good it-thingy! - Stolen By Faeries
- The Complainer Is Always Wrong: yes you earn it, also protip make it more obvious next time? Took me like 74 hours to find this list
- Combat Tentacles: Generally avoided in the context of Cosmic Horror. ~ betterthanstrawberry
- Complexity Addiction - the faeries say so
- Crazy Awesome -Milos Stefanovic
- Creepy Awesome - Balmung
- Creepypasta: Seems to be the theme of your gallery - Balmung
- Dark Is Not Evil: He's more than just Nightmare Fuel. That I agree upon! —Earl of Sandvich
- Eldritch Abomination — a vandal
- Empathic Environment / Friend to All Living Things: You quite visibly often affect the nature of the discussion when you enter a thread. Environmental alteration is clearly an ability of the greater gods. Based on the rate of rainfall occasionally associated with eldritch beings, it is somewhat likely that you are from Seattle. ~ betterthanstrawberry
- Evil Duo - With Stolen By Faeries. — Liberated Liberater
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin (You'll figure it out in due time...) - Midnight Velvet
- Fan Nickname (Noa, Qiqi) - Midnight Velvet
- Genius Bonus (damned good at them, too) —Sabre's Edge
- Gentleman Snarker: If they are a boy. - Stolen By Faeries
- Loveable Nerd ~ betterthanstrawberry
- Gentleman and a Scholar: you definitely give off that impression. Well, if the gender's right. -Sabre's Edge
- The Glomp - Probably sinister... -Earl of Sandvich
- Good Is Not Nice - Fitting with your definition of nice. - someone who is not hiding in a safe faerie ring.
- Gratuitous Latin - his sig sometimes(apparently) - fringeman
- Gratuitous German - Really, am I the only one who noticed it? - Juan Carlos 11
- Noaqiyeum Is Cthulhu -Earl of Sandvich
- Hurricane of Puns - you know exactly what I'm talking about, you insane little geography punster.) —Sabre's Edge
- Mad Artist: Well, obviously. :P - Stolen By Faeries
- Mad Mathematician (Yes, I know Euler did it first. Yes, I know you were just building off e^(pi)i = -1. Nevertheless, the devious problem you posted is enough for you to qualify as this. —Sabre's Edge)
- Moe ~ betterthanstrawberry
- Nice Hat (But not nearly as many as I would like.) - Noaqiyeum
- Nice Guy
- Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant - Possible... -Earl of Sandvich
- Nightmare Fetishist - Mr W
- Nightmare Retardant - You yourself aren't all that scary. —heeheeheehee
- Nightmare Fuel - A big fan. Not a big provider. Juan Carlos 11
- Omniglot - You seem like you would be/ will be, in the future. Junfez
- Ostentatious Secret: Nationality, age, gender... — your stalker-equivalent
- The Philosopher - Stolen By Faeries
- Pretty Cool Guy - eh likes skary shizz and doesnt afraid of anything. — Tre
- Quintessential British Gentleman - What I imagine you as. —MilosStefanovic
- Retool: At least was trying to break the "All Nightmare Fuel, all the time" associational - Balmung
- The Rival: To Juan Carlos 11, after all, you are an Eldritch Abomination (see above), and he was voted "Most Likely To Punch Out Cthulhu" - Balmung
- Starving Artist: Sorry! Just came across this trope and remembered that you are the "archetypal starving college student", which when combined with Mad Artist means this. :P - Stolen By Faeries
- Shrouded in Myth: Do we know anything apart from the fact that they're Creepy Awesome? - Stolen By Faeries
- Sincerity Mode: Third page pic from the left. ~ betterthanstrawberry
SOMEONE BELIEVES ME! :D
- Troperiffic: Just look at your page! ~raigakuren
- True Art: One of the few cases where it works. - juancarlos11
- The Unpronounceable - His name. Altoid
- Wall of Text - This page at first sight! - InverurieJones
Preposterous! Such a lovely contributor page, and hardly any vandalism that I can detect! I am fixing this issue post haste. Your take on Still Alive
is most profoundly touching, and your Brother Of Mine avatar is dazzling. Mesmerizing, even. I seem to have a certain fondness for pale dark-haired Englishmen who stare intensely. I do wish you stepped outside the forum games a bit more often. Well, enough of this foolish Purple Prose
, I must be off now. Ta-ta! —Irony Adams
Danke schoen! (And yes, I should manifest outside Forum Games more often. I'm... working on that.)
Why thank you, kind si—HOLY CRAP WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS PAGE. Not very often one sees a Mind Screw
contributor page, but I have now learned it should happen more often. I applaud your...whatever this is. That is a compliment. I think.
...I-i'm not good at this. —Epitome
If it should happen more often, it must be the good kind of Mind Screw
, I guess? So I'll take it as a compliment. Danke!note
Like Irony Adams, I like your take on Still Alive
. Don't worry, you can stay in Forum Games. By the way, why the fnords? —Dragon Khorse
I... am afraid I don't know what you're talking about.
-stops to stare at page
...Woah. Anyway, you dropped by my page earlier, I think you were looking for yourself. Just dropping by to tell you that you definitely
showed up at some point. -checks watch- Well, I have to go, see you later! 再见!
-looks around, obviously confused-
Uh, I think I'm lost... —Midnight Velvet
You have created a profile page that is a mystery, inside a riddle, wrapped in an enigma
. Mad props are yours, my homeboy. —Sean Murray I
...gift-wrapped in an enigma. :)
ONE DIMENSIONAL MAZE MY ASS! I AM NOT LOST! I. AM. SPAAAAAAAARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. No wait. That made no sense whatsoever. Well, I'm vandalizing your page anyway. —WUE
Well, if you're not lost, you're certainly neither here nor there... and that only leaves one possibility! You must be on my page!
This is truely the best page in the history of pages! I fear I may be stuck. —Latia
...Stuck? There are outbound links all over the page!
Thank you so much for the Vandalism on my page! :) -occono
My pleasure! You need more of it.
- Suberu proceeds to eat the page* Thanks for adding to my 'Happy Place' trope. oooh, Doctor Who? Me likes!
Oh, good, that was an accurate guess. (Getting into peoples' heads is fun but disorienting and a little embarrassing... you seem to pop up in relation to food and eating, so...)
Well - I should HOPE you like the Doctor!
Noaqiyeum has awesome Doctor Who
avatars and one of the best userpages on the site. Seriously, you're pretty cool. — The Jackal
New and erotic. Awwwwwright. *porn music plays* Mwah!!
I'm very pleased to say that I'm eclectic
...[backs away slowly and pulls out a syringe
- I Read That As I'm very pleased to say that I'm ELECTRIC
. Also, good on you for being an Eversion
fan. ~ Pirka
I'm electric! Boogy woogy woogy woogy.
I don't know anyone who knows of Eversion and isn't a fan...
Most interesting page! Your style is excellent, you seem to be crazy, but in a good way
. Please don't kill me - Beholderess
Don't worry, I'll be the last person to kill you!
This is my conclusion about lunacy and genius: Geniuses think outside the box. Lunatics think inside the box because that's the side that's bigger. :)
OH DEAR OCTOGOD IN GREAT SEA BEYOND HEAVENS!!! I got blinded by awesome format, or whatever you call it, of this page xD ~ Now-Blind-Yet-Still-Typing, Spooky Mask
I HAVE BLINDED YOU WITH COMPUTER SCIENCE!
WUG LOVE FOREVER. -Tre
By the power invested in me by no one in particular, I declare the plural of "wug" to be "wugsies"! Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
Noa has the best userpage of all time! -Shichibukai
Vielen Dank! (Today, all time; tomorrow, thew heosle wor!)
You've been hit by, you've been hit by, a smooth troper! - Gentlemanorcus
How are you, Gentleman?
Never One for Apprehension or Qualms, I Yearn to Explore Uncharted Mindscapes.
>_< I love it.
Also, I saw what you did there
Hello person I don't know very well yet! Funnyguts
Hey, you'll never guess where I'm vandalizing your page from! Give up? I'm on a plane! FUCK YEAH! I bet you don't get vandalism from a plane very often. —Sean Murray I
No, not really! Most paint sprays don't quite have that kind of range and precision. o_O Crazy Awesome
As in awe
Of my page as you are... I
in awe of yours first
I am You Must Die, leader of the Lanhamites. My words are backed with nuclear weapons.
I'm sorry... I had to undo your clever formatting because it was making the entire rest of this page into a hottip. :(
We affirm this treaty between our two nations! So let it be written; so let it be done.
You are the weirdest guy on the fora. Congratulations. - Kraken
Fangs (geddit I'm goff LOL) 4 fixin muh floder, bich!!
...yay! I must be the pride of [subject source code here].
O Hai - Schitzo
So I had this dream last night that my friend's mother was one of the pod people from Invasion of the Body Snatchers
, and yeah, other people started becoming pod people, and it was scary. And then I was swallowed and eaten by the Michelin Man. What do you think it means
? —Sean Murray I
MENE MENE TEKELI-LI UPHARSIN
You defaced my page. It made me laugh. TWICE. Awesome! ~BlackWolfe
Vandalism? ON MY PAGE?!? Why thank you! - Balrog1911
You're very welcome!
What's a fnord? - Land Of Gold
That gum you like is going to come back in style.
—Sean Murray I
Technically, while the batshit movie it spun off, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
, is a Prequel
, it contains some elements that can be interpreted as tying up some of those more important plot threads. Otherwise, you can just stop watching after the ninth episode of the second season and pretend it all just stopped right there; it's actually a lot
easier to do than it sounds. Also, I've started reading about Jorge Luis Borges
, but I haven't tried to find any of his actual works yet. I'm a little preoccupied at the moment with focusing on tracking down and watching certain music documentaries to get me in the zone for one that I'm gonna be working on myself immediately after the holidays. —Sean Murray I
All right. Thanks for the advice! I'll be sure to do that.
I think you username wins the award for Most Unpronounceable Username.
I have successfully infiltrated your userpage. —a spy
SPY'S SAPPIN MY USERPAGE Getting in is easy. The hard part is getting back out. Watch your step! :D
The faeries are watching
Hello there, good sir. —Compassionate Sadist
Hello madame! An excellent day to you!
Haldo! Prepare ye te be boarded! —The Vandalism Pirate
the unpronounceabliation of your username has been grately exaggerated
HA! You'll never take me alive! On deck, all hands! Roll out the cannons! Heave to starboard and catch her alongsides! Today, we will write a bloody end to your legend!
:I but you're cool so it's ok
- TOMO TAKINO~
Ahahah, thank you! Finally, someone who agrees with me!
INSANE IN THE P-BRANE.
— so sayeth Zudak
Vandalism is over nine thousaaaaand~ Muramasan13
Ooh, excellent compilation! If you were hoping to overwhelm me, though - I believe you'll find I'm a memetic carrier
How did you get your page so damn nice looking? Love your forum posts.
And you vandalized my page! Sweet! - StolenByFaeries
Thank you and you're welcome! (If you want to see a truly astoundingly well-formatted page, go check out Solstace
. O_O )
I just came to acquire some of Glenn Beck
's family Christmas cards from one of his relatives. There's something about this picture that's giving me some creepy vibes.◊
—Sean Murray I
Questionably cloudcuckoolandish Nightmare Fetishist Eldritch Abomination
Really? Hmm. Doesn't seem so odd to me...
- Those are definitely disembodied ghost eyes in the middle of the dark doorway; I can tell. And what are the two spirits standing behind Glenn talking about? Hell, if that picture doesn't give you nightmares then you should see the Beck's family's card from the year before.◊ Those dogs are known to have eaten people. It's true; look it up! —Sean Murray I
Those aren't spirits, those are just people! But you're right about the disembodied ghost eyes, which I didn't see at all on the first round. >_<
The dogs look like they're hungry for fresh cameraperson. o_O
of our beautiful forums, and
a Tom Lehrer
fan to boot—what's not to like about Noaqiyeum? ~Sabre's Edge
I know this one! "...methodical, pedantic, secretive, confusing, honest... overly anxious and self-aware, and rather passive-aggressive."
Danke schoen, though!
Hey, can you make a sketch of me? It would be totally amazing if you did. —Sean Murray I
I'll consider it. :)
Your page is really big. It scares me....
I really wish there were an easier way to pare it back. Honest.
The faeries are stalking you. And they dragged me here against my will.
Do you have a mental image of me? -OOZE
...Sort of. I'll keep you posted if I draw you. :)
How have I not set your page on fire yet?
I don't know! Yay! FIRE! :D
Hello to the 2011 Troper Most Likely to Give Nightmares! :D -Earl of Sandvich
Something needs told %$$ you have a naiace rep %/$$ well, it is a r %[//]&& Well, you have been notifierd— Noaqiyem
...Thanks? I think? I... can't read that. >_<
The faeries were here. Eventually they'll realize they forgot me while they were stealing your stuff. - a faerie hostage
So... you've been left for me as a changeling, then? >:D
Sometimes, I wish I was more well known for my snark and wit, instead of my ham. —Sean Murray I
- And, man, I just had this wicked, twisted dream last night about some tour of some alien galaxy. I think it was also a ride at a Disney theme park, but, man, this tour had it all: Weird aliens doing stuff, extra-terrestrial foods and delicacies (Most of which was human meat because, as we all know, carbon-based life forms are the most delicious and rarest of all delicacies on alien planets), various mutilated alien animals getting turned into some nice leather hides and other materials (again, mostly humans), and it was all in, like, such a tight enclosed hallway that mostly felt like being on the Nostromo from Alien as our high-speed tram car◊ just rolled on through. Although, at the end, I got to see one of the most amazing ocean sunsets on an alien planet that I have ever seen in my life. At the tour's conclusion, I killed the tour guide. —Me again
Well, I see you mostly in forum games, where I think your ham is most evident. :/
That's a cool and messed-up dream!
I am terrible...we've known each other for so long and I've never hit your page. Well, remedied now. ;) - Keybreak
Heeeeey, Noa!! Ya seem awsum, yoe- cutewithoutthe
Thanks. A pleasure lurking on your pet projects. ;)
You look exactly as I imagined you would. —Sean Murray I
Wait... you mean that this avatar in your gallery that you used once for, like, three hours◊
isn't actually a picture of you? Well, then who the hell is it????? —me again
Your page is an inspiration to Hussaloes everywhere. Happy 4/13! ~Hungry Joe
ALL of them? :D (Danke schoen!)
IT THINGY! I named by Victini
after you! — A Crack In Time
Graham Specter and American McGee's Alice
I am honoured! [goes to look up what a Victini is]
? You. Are. Awesome. I'm sorry I have not much to say. ~theindefiniteone
You are awesome, because you're a regular on both of their wikis! :D
Man, I'm bored. It's been quite a few days without anyone posting in that Lyrics Association game again. Nudge nudge. Know what I mean? Say no more. —Sean Murray I I've always wanted to say that.
Thank you! Mind Screw
[remark goes over my head with an interesting whoosh sound] ;)
you! A changeling
has arrived! - Stolen By Faeries I blame you :P
Man, I hope you come to New York City one day... And are of drinking age. It's 2:37 AM on this wonderful Saturday Night and Sunday Morning, and what a night I've been having! In the past few hours, I've had 4 pints Sam Adams, 2 pints PBR, a shot of Jameson Whiskey, a small hot sake at some sushi bar, 2 glasses of something called "Ass Juice" (don't ask; I don't know any more than you do) and now I'm listening to "Lido Shuffle", Boz Scaggs. BEST NIGHT EVAR!!!!! —Sean Murray I
Aheheh... I'm of drinking age, but I'm afraid the only way I enjoy alcohol is by setting it on fire! ...and I've no idea what you're thinking, taking a drink with a name like that. o_O
Thank you for the invitation, though! It would be awesome to meet you in person!
to your page* Thanks again for the sig-quote! ^_^
Also, since Sean is promoting NYC, Australia
is a nice place for a visit. ;) Of course if I was going to recommend the most interesting place in the Land Down Under
it would be Sydney... which would run contrary to my purposes, actually. -_- ~Stolen By Faeries
It can't be that far from Perth, can it? :P I'm sure we could arrange something. I wouldn't dream of missing a chance like that! :D
I had such a terrible dream last night. I had kidnapped this lady off the street and had her hanging upside-down in my attic where I would flay the skin off her back with a broken pair of scissors and cut off her fingers and leave them in a pile beneath her head. Then when I woke up, I ran up to my attic and THANK GOD! I had put all the fingers I cut off in her mouth
so she wouldn't be yelling and screaming all the time. I was having so much trouble sleeping. —Sean Murray I
I refuse to let those two monopolise your page! —a vandal
Why, thank you, kind sir! A pleasure to see you again!
I do believe that this is my first time that I have vandalised you under my new handle. THIS MUST BE CORRECTED ASAP! -adjusts monocle-
- Tools Of Destruction
[gasps] This cannot be! Thank you for amending such a direly unnoticed calamity!
Happy Halloweeeeeee-eeeeee-eeeeeen, Halloweeeeeee-eeeeee-eeeeeen, Halloweeeeeee-eeeeee-eeeeeen, Halloween.note
—Sean Murray I
Happy All Hallow's Eve 2011! I'm carolling!
:P - Stolen By Faeries
I'm not myself today. Maybe I'm you.
;) - Noaqiyeum
Yo man, how've ya been? It's been far too long since my last visit... one month ago. —Sean Murray I
Which I didn't even notice until now anyway. :P Sorry!
I've been doing quite well! Classes going up smoothly, overcoming writer's block... And, you may be pleased to know, I've been archive binging Grant Morrison's Doom Patrol
- Never read Doom Patrol. Never read much of Grant Morrison's work at all, for that matter. However, I do hope that Zenith gets reprinted for paperback trade someday because I love that 2000 AD stuff (practically the only stuff I read in comic form; the majority of Alan Moore's old work for that publication is more entertaining than Watchmen).
- Also, I wanted you to have this. Happy Holidays.
, It-Thingy! ~ betterthanstrawberry
0_0 Thank you! (The Numbers Station is particularly fascinating!)
I still miss you so much. Why don't you ever come to my page and visit my anymore? This is to let you know how much I'm missing you.
—Sean Murray I
I must admit I didn't understand the script. - Amused Troper Guy
I'm talking to you.
Only one of these sentences is true but I'll vandalize your page regardless. :P - Stolen By Faeries
Hope I'm not interrupting mister, but I have just had the impulse to tell you that I have made you a new alias. It's Pook
On February 19th, 2011, troper Noaqiyeum was awarded the following
THE FLAMING POODLE AWARD
for their artistic genius and awesomeness
in general. As seen here. ~TMA
Where can I request a mental image of myself? Because they look awesome, even if it appears the waiting list is already long! ~Dhana Ragnarok