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Suspiciously Specific Denial / Comic Books

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  • At the end of Young Justice: Sins of Youth, Klarion (bum bum BUM) the Witch Boy swears that "everyone on Earth has been restored to their normal selves.", prompting Batman to say "'On Earth...' Odd phrasing." As it turns out, Klarion was telling the truth... but alien bounty hunter Lobo, who was off-world throughout the ordeal, soon turned up on Earth looking for the fraggin' bastitch that turned him into a teenager.
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  • DC Comics covers from the Silver Age often include amazing premises (e.g., the hero Killed Off for Real!) accompanied by promises like "Not a hoax! Not a dream! Not an imaginary story!" Invariably, the promise turns out to be literally true, but not specific enough to cover the cheap trick they did use (e.g., an alternate universe.)
  • Marvel Comics tended to do this sort of thing less often during the Silver Age, but when they did...
    • An X-Men cover promised that the heralded Death of Professor X! was "Not a hoax! Not a dream! Not an imaginary tale! This is for real!" It was actually true... for that particular story, anyway. A retcon later made it exactly what they said it wasn't — an In-Universe hoax.note 
    • The same book did it again several years later with "Not a hoax! Not a dream! This issue an X-Man dies!" (Yes, at the time that was still news.) This time, it was true enough, and an X-Man did die... but he'd only been introduced two issues before, so it didn't exactly have the same impact as killing, say, Cyclops.note 
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    • Marvel Team-Up had a story where Aunt May was the herald of Galactus. The cover promised "Not a hoax! Not a What If! Not an Imaginary Story!" That denial was specific enough to exclude dreams, which of course it turned out to be.
  • Joe Quesada claimed that Spider-Man's unmasking would not be undone by a "magic retcon". One More Day then proceeded to use magic to conceal his identity (as well as undo a very-well established relationship between him and Mary Jane, which Joe hated).
  • In Supergirl: Cosmic Adventures in the 8th Grade, Linda Lee does this at least once per issue.
    • In issue #1, Linda accidentally breaks a desk in half:
      Linda: That was... an accident! I just put my hand on it like any normal human would. Because I'm normal and human! I am!
    • Linda tries to explain why she dozed off during Science Class. Unforunately she can't talk about being a hero:
      Linda: I'm sorry, Mr. Kretch. I just had a long night... a very long night doing normal teenage Earth girl things. Yes!
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    • She hears someone stating that Super Speech is one of her superpowers, and she shouts:
      Supergirl: WHAT?! I don't have super powers! I'm totally from Earth, and I like Earth things and...
    • After Belinda begins imitating a duck:
      Linda: Okay. The planet Earth officially scares me.
      Lena: That's a weird thing to say.
      Linda: Uh... It's an expression from... Kansas. My very normal hometown.
    • Belinda suggests there is something super about Linda...
      Belinda: See, I'm like, super popular. And the only thing super about Linda is...
      Linda: Nothing! There is nothing super about me in any way, shape or form! Really!
  • In Transmetropolitan, Spider Jerusalem starts watching porn based around his persona, preceded by this disclaimer: "This Is a Work of Fiction not intended to represent anyone living, dead or writing a weekly column for a newspaper."
  • Was Empowered ever spanked by Sistah Spooky? She doesn't want to comment.
  • In volume 4 of Scott Pilgrim, Scott is leaving his house when he randomly runs into his Stalker with a Crush ex-girlfriend Knives, who greets him with "H-hi! I'm not even stalking you!"
    • Ramona is also guilty of this in Volume 2 when talking to Scott about Lucas.
      Ramona: And I didn't even string him along or cheat on him with any cocky pretty boys.
  • Atomic Robo's Doctor Dinosaur did not reference Doctor Who. That was merely a coincidence! He is not even aware of who Tom Baker is!
    • In a later Free Comic Book Day strip, his Surprise Witness absolutely is not a genetically engineered super monster. Cue laser-shooting thyreophoran.
  • In a Dandy comic, George vs. the Dragon, a Trojan Horse (or dragon, rather) is made. But there's nothing in it that will slay a dragon.
  • Hopefully not the case with Dori Seda. "No, I don't fuck my dog."
  • When Batgirl wakes up in a hospital, being tended to by her own mother.
    Batgirl: Thank you... registered nurse I've never met.
  • In All Fall Down, AIQ Squared give us, "Nothing *on Earth* is unlawful about what's taking place."
  • In The Cowboy Wally Show by Kyle Baker, the titular Cowboy Wally and his friend Lenny is arrested, so Wally has his lawyer tell the judge "The evidence against my clients is circumstantial, and the girls brought their own drugs and Wally and Lenny didn't know it was a laundromat, and the pony was there when they arrived". Unfortunately, as it would turn out, they were only arrested for peeing in an alley, which is a $100 fine, but now the judge is curious...
  • In one issue of Justice League International, the team is on a recruiting drive, during which they ask the various people under consideration some basic questions. In a likely Shout-Out to Stripes, they ask The Creeper if he's ever been convicted of a crime, The Creeper scratches his chin and says, vaguely, "Convicted? I don't think I was ever actually convicted."
  • "You're Green Lantern!" "No, I'm not. Bye!"
  • Baphomet decapitates The Morrigan in Issue #2 of The Wicked + The Divine. Her head then proceeds to sing his praises, make bad puns and declare that "Baphomet is definitely not fucking with you!". He was - the head was fake.
  • In PS238, Fun Personified character the Flea explains to 84 why he hasn't joined a superhero team:
    Flea: I was for about five minutes. It turns out a lot of people are icked out by bugs.
    84: What did you make the bugs do?
    Flea: I'm shocked you'd even think I might give someone a wig made from live crickets because it was funny.
    • Zodon, after being caught red-handed cheating at blackjack.
      Zodon: I'm not doing anything suspicious that can be proven within a hundred decimal places!
    • When Tyler and Alec need to pretend that they're threatening Ms. Imperia:
      Alec: And I'll use this magic wand that looks like a pencil but totally isn't!
  • The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye: Rodimus's way of covering up that there's a sparkeater on board is to say that he wants everyone to pair off and retreat to living quarters, just as a precaution, because nothing is wrong, except for Ratchet, Trailbreaker, and Chromedome, who are needed for something very unremarkable and boring - and to invite anyone who can generate level 9 containment fields, turn into a nullification booth, or has access to industrial-strength energy dampeners to tag along. You know, if they feel like it. Rodimus is not a very good liar.
  • Wonder Woman (1987): After Wonder Woman is able to capture the Sangtee Emperor's personal advisor the man proclaims he'll die before telling the revolutionaries his Emperor's devastating secret, letting Wondy and her high command know there's a secret to be unraveled that could be important to their goals.
  • Averted all the time with Deadpool, mainly due to his insanity, being scatterbrained, and overall simply not giving a fuck.
    Police Officer: Do you have any guns, knives, or explosives in your vehicle?
    Deadpool: I got all them things.


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