"Hello, my name's Mariah Carey. I thought I could win a wrestling match against Jim Carrey. I must be a total ass!"
— Jim Carrey
The first official episode of the first season of Celebrity Deathmatch, while simultaneously being the second episode created.
This episode, known as Seinfeld's Last Stand, features three fights. The first undercard fight has Hillary Clinton pitted against Monica Lewinsky. The second undercard fight sees Mariah Carey and Jim Carrey battling it out. The third fight and main event sees Tim Allen seeking revenge against Jerry Seinfeld.
This episode provides examples of:
- Ass Shove: Mariah's foot gets stuck after she kicks Jim in the butt while he is taunting her.
- Berserk Button: Hillary gets frustrated when her husband is shouting support from the sidelines, which Monica assumes is meant for her. Later, after he is cited out of context for soliciting sexual favors from another woman (see That Came Out Wrong below), both Hillary AND Monica turn on him and chase him out of the arena.
- Beware the Silly Ones: While Mariah does ultimately end up winning their fight, Jim proves to be a very formidable foe despite his wacky persona. Not only does he manage to dodge/tank most of her hits, but he very nearly comes close to winning the fight himself.
- Bicep Kiss: Jim does this while thanking the audience for their applause.
- By the Hair: Seinfeld manages to rip out a handful of Tim's hair.
- The Cameo: This episode also has appearances from Bill Clinton, Paula Jones, Gennifer Flowers, Drew Carey, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards, and Don King.
- Choke Holds: Jim almost manages to subdue Mariah by placing her in a chokehold that momentarily renders her unconscious. She manages to regain consciousness at the last second before Mills can disqualify her.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Mariah drops a lot of these whenever she speaks.
- Cluster Bleep-Bomb: Pretty much any profanity that comes out of Mariah's mouth is censored.
- Deadly Disc: Lewinsky's beret is adorned with hidden blades that she uses as a throwing weapon.
- Et Tu, Brute?: Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Michael Richards initially show their support for Seinfeld leading up to his fight, however they turn on him midway through and team up with his opponent instead.
- Eye Poke: Jim temporarily subdues Mariah by poking her in the eyes during their fight.
- Glass-Shattering Sound: Mariah belts out an extremely high note, which causes several lighting rigs and cameras to shatter.
- Graceful Ladies Like Purple: Monica Lewinsky is wearing a purple spandex suit, and appears to have a polite and well-mannered demeanor prior to her fight starting.
- Groin Attack: In what is quite a notable part of the fight, Mariah lands the first hit against Jim with one of these.
- Heroic Second Wind: After being rendered unconscious for a brief moment, Mariah manages to wake up just as she is about to be disqualified, and manages to loosen Jim's grip around her neck long enough to prepare her finishing move.
- Joke of the Butt: While this is a contributing factor towards their beef (see Noodle Incident below), Jim does this again to taunt Mariah after he knocks her down with an Eye Poke.
- Leotard of Power: Hillary is shown to be wearing a blue leotard during her fight.
- Literal Ass-Kicking: Mariah kicks Jim in the butt when he starts taunting her. However, it quickly backfires for her.
- Little Dead Riding Hood: Gennifer Flowers, who is sitting in the audience in a red blouse and skirt, is quickly and accidentally dispatched by Monica's weaponized beret.
- Musical Assassin: Mariah uses the power of her singing voice to win her fight.
- No, You: Tim and Seinfeld have an argument that essentially boils down to this shortly after the fight starts.
- Noodle Incident: The reason why Jim and Mariah are fighting (other than having similar last names) is because Jim reportedly embarrassed Mariah during a Comic Relief event, in which he utilized his Joke of the Butt gag from Ace Ventura.
- Parking Garage: Jim and Mariah are shown having a heated argument over a parking space during the opening segments of the episode, made worse when Drew Carey arrives and tells them that the parking space belongs to him.
- Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves: While they were initially there to support Seinfeld, it's actually revealed that Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Michael Richards were planning to ambush him during the fight instead. After receiving their cue from Tim, the three of them start attacking Seinfeld for revenge after he cancelled his sitcom and put them out of a job.
- Ripped from the Headlines: Bill Clinton was revealed to be having an extra-marital affair with his then-secretary Lewinsky, prior to Celebrity Deathmatch being green-lit as a series.
- Slipping a Mickey: It's revealed during a pre-fight interview that Jerry Seinfeld had previously drugged Tim Allen's drinking water prior to a stand-up gig, causing him to pass out during his act, and is the reason why the two are fighting.
- Spectator Casualty:
- When Mills scolds Tim for bringing an arsenal of tools with him to the fight, he grabs a wrench from Tim's belt and throws it into the audience...hitting Don King in the head.
- The same also applies for Gennifer Flowers, who is hit in the face with Lewinsky's weaponized beret.
- Super-Scream: How Mariah ultimately ends up winning her fight.
- That Came Out Wrong: While being asked for his opinion of Hillary's performance during her fight against Lewinsky, Bill Clinton pauses the interview to ask a female audience member to "grab his nuts", accidentally shouting it into the microphone for everyone to hear. He obviously meant the peanuts that he wanted from the snack vendor.
- To add further insult to injury, the woman he was addressing turns out to be Paula Jones.
- Weaponized Headgear: Lewinsky is asked to remove her beret before her fight. She promptly throws it at her opponent, revealing the beret to actually be a bladed weapon.
- Wedgie: Tim gives one to Seinfeld during their fight.
- Wimp Fight: Arguably the best way to describe the fight between Tim and Seinfeld.
- Your Head Asplode: Mariah is able to hit a note high enough to cause Jim's head to explode under the pressure.
