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Quotes / Supernatural

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From the show itself:

Sam: Black Sabbath? Motörhead? Metallica? It's the greatest hits of mullet rock.
Dean: House rules, Sammy—driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.

I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!
Dean Winchester, "Scarecrow" (S01, E11)

WWBD: What Would Buffy Do?

John Winchester: All right, if I'm not back Sunday night?
Young Dean: Call Pastor Jim.
John Winchester: Lock the doors and windows, close the shades, and most important...
Young Dean: Watch out for Sammy.
Michael: My brother's sick.
Dean: The little guy?
Michael: [nodding] Pneumonia. He's in the hospital. It's my fault.
Dean: Ah, c'mon, how?
Michael: I should've made sure the window was latched. He wouldn't have gotten pneumonia if the window was latched.
Dean: Listen to me. I can promise you that this is not your fault. Okay?
Michael: It's my job to look after him.
Michael: You said you're a big brother.
Dean: Yeah.
Michael: You take care of your little brother? You'd do...anything for him?
Dean: [heartfelt] Yeah, I would.

"I lost my shoe."

Your dad? He's in here with me—trapped inside his own meat suit. He says "hi"¯, by the way. He's gonna tear you apart. He's gonna taste the iron in your blood.
Azazel (in John), "Devil's Trap" (S01, E22)

I full-on Swayze'd that mother!

Andy: You get visions...of people about to die? [Sam nods] ...that's impossible.
Sam: A lot of people would say the same thing about what you do.
Andy: [pause] But death visions? Dude, that sucks.

[Jo puts on "Can't Fight This Feeling" on the Roadhouse's jukebox]
Dean: REO Speedwagon?
Jo: Damn right, REO. Kevin Cronin sings it from the heart.
Dean: [smirking] He sings it from the hair. There's a difference.

Sam: Look, we've gotta find some way to help her, some legend we missed or something.
Dean: If there was, don't you think someone we know would've known it?
Sam: Well, then we have to look harder! Until we find something.
Dean: Sammy, I don't think we’ve got a choice here anymore.

Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? Why do I have to be some kind of hero?

Is there...garlic on this pizza?

Dean: What are we doing?
Sam: We're hunting a ghost.
Dean: A ghost, exactly. Who does that?
Sam: ...Us.
Dean: Us! Right! And that, Sam, that is exactly why our lives suck! I mean, c'mon! We hunt monsters! What the hell?! I mean, normal people? They see a monster and they run! But not us! No, no, no! We-... We search out things that want to kill us. Or EAT US! Y'know who does that? Crazy people!! We... are insane! And then there's the bad diner food... and then the skeevy motel rooms... a-and then the truckstop waitress with the bizarre rash! I mean, who wants this life, Sam? Seriously! I mean, do you actually like being stuck in a car with me eight hours a day, every single day? I don't think so! I mean, I drive too fast and I listen to the same five albums over and over and over again! A-An... And I sing along, I'm annoying; I know that! And you... you're gassy! You eat half a burrito and you get toxic! Y'know what? You can forget it! Stay away from me, Sam! Okay? 'Cause I am done with it! I'm done with the monsters and the-... and the hellhounds and the ghost sickness and the damn Apocalypse! I'm out! I'm done! I quit!
Dean Winchester having a complete breakdown, "Yellow Fever" (S04, E06)

You sound like a whiny brat. No, you sound like your dad.

Castiel: I'm going to find God.
Dean: God?
Castiel: Yes.
Dean: God?
Castiel: Yes. He's not in Heaven; He has to be somewhere.
Dean: Try New Mexico, I hear He's on a tortilla.
Castiel: [deadpan, confused] No, He's not on any flatbread.

This isn't funny, Dean! The voice says I'm almost out of minutes!
Castiel learning how to use a cell phone, "The End" (S05, E04)

Sam: Why? Why tell us anything?
Crowley: [pointing the Colt at Dean] I, want you, to take this thing to Lucifer, and empty it into his face.
Dean: Uh-huh. Okay. And why, exactly, would you want the Devil dead?
Crowley: [putting the Colt down] It's called survival. But I forgot, you two at best are functional morons.
Dean: Yeah, you're—functioning morons...

[Castiel falls prey to Famine's powers and his host body's desire for red meat]
What are you, the Hamburglar?

Lucifer: They are broken! Flawed! Abortions!
Gabriel: Damn right they’re flawed. But a lot of them try. To do better. To forgive. [beat] And you should see the spearmint rhino.

Castiel: [staring at the TV] It's very complex. If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter [Sam and Dean look up from their work] why does he keep slapping her rear? Perhaps she's done something wrong?
Dean: You're watching porn? Why?
Castiel: [still staring] It was there.
Dean: You don't watch porn in a room full of dudes, and you don' about it! Just turn it off. [Castiel looks down at his body, surprised] Oh, now he's got a boner.
Samuel: This what you boys do, sit around watching pornos with angels?
Castiel: [deadpan, eyes still glued to the screen] We're not supposed to talk about it.

Crowley: Ah, Castiel. Angel of Thursday. Just not your day, is it?
Castiel: What are you doing here?
Crowley: I want to help you help me help ourselves.
Castiel: Speak plain.
Crowley: I want to discuss a simple business transaction, that's all.
Castiel: You want to make a deal? With me? I'm an angel, you ass. Don't have a soul to sell.

Dean: Sam, I'm sorry for psychologically scarring you.
Sam: Which time?

Detective: Gotta you boys chase the crazy, or does the crazy chase you?
Sam: Depends on the day.

Sam: Okay, say you gank hernote . Then what?
Lucifer: <shrugs> Move to LA? Solve crimes?

Describing the show:

the demon-killing brothers
that reality show about the two underwear-model brothers who hallucinate and shoot at ghosts
the reality show about the two brothers who drive around testing out seedy motels
the underwear-model-ghost hunters-brothers show

Question: What is Hollywood likely to do to Supernatural if some "creative genius" doesn't reign it in?
Misha Collins: Honestly? I'm just going to answer this quickly to get it over with, porn incest story with two brothers fucking the shit out of each other.

Lucifer: "Dean, do what I say!"
Dean: "Screw you!"
Lilith: "Dean, come to the dark side, it has nymphomaniacs!"
Dean: "Nice try but hell no!"
God: "Sup?"
Dean: "Bite me, you sociopathic asshat!"
Death: "Sit."
Dean: "Yessir."
Youtube Comment describing Appointment in Samara

"It’s like, you beat the Devil himself? Well, now you’ve gotta fight the Devil’s cousin Phil, who has conveniently gone entirely unmentioned up until now, but he’s totally twice as evil.
That last paragraph was literally supposed to be the most ridiculous hypothetical example I could think of, and people are messaging me to say “his name was Metatron, not Phil”. I can’t even make fun of this show.
tumblr user prokopetz