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Music / Kunt and the Gang

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Kunt and the Gang are a British comedy "band" (really one man and an array of synths) whose work is primarily upbeat, catchy cheesy pop songs... about masturbation, bestiality, sex, pubic hair and virtually every other puerile subject one could care to think of. With song titles such as "I'm Gonna Lick You Out", "The Bloke Up the Garage Fucked a Sheep", and "My Mum Found My Wank Mags", the tone of Kunt's work should be stunningly obvious to virtually anyone with a brain stem.


Kunt released an autobiography, "i, Kunt: How I became, and remained, a minor Internet hit singer" in December 2018 after a successful campaign on Kickstarter.

In 2020, Kunt released (with his new actual band, The Kunts) a Punk Rock album, "Kunts Punk In Your Face".

Kunt and the Gang provide examples of:

  • A Date with Rosie Palms: Kunt seems obsessed with masturbation, to the point of doing so compulsively, including over a pornographic Polaroid of an ex-girlfriend who died (which is actually the subject of a song), while watching the quiz show Countdown, in the woods and while crying over the death of Princess Diana.
  • Abhorrent Admirer: Kunt, to too many people to name. He describes Carol Vorderman as the love of his life though.
  • Album Title Drop: "I Have A Little Wank And I Have A Little Cry" is a line from the song "Wanking Over A Pornographic Polaroid Of An Ex-Girlfriend Who Died", whereas "One Last Wank and One Last Cry" is the closing track from the album of the same name.
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  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: "You're A Pervert", which is about the ways an unnamed person is a pervert, asserts one of them is inviting in Jehovah's Witnesses when they call at your house.
  • Author Appeal: Kunt generally writes simple ditties about things he likes or dislikes. Which, generally speaking, translates as sex, masturbation and Carol Vorderman.
  • Country Matters / Cluster F-Bomb: You don't say.
  • Crossing the Line Twice: Even for a singer whose professed stock in trade is deliberately being offensive and puerile, "Paperboy" (from the "Kunt'll Fix It" album) is simply incredibly offensive and brutal beyond virtually anything else he's released, to the point he claims to have actually been physically attacked more than once when performing it live. It's a song sung in the first person about abducting and repeatedly sexually assaulting the titular paperboy because he looks like a girl he was attracted to at school.
  • Darker and Edgier: Blue ROFL, Kunt's final album, is a fair bit darker than his previous work, to the point of being even outright misanthropic at points. "It's Just A Butterfly" completely and directly dismisses the idea of an afterlife or of anything meaningful after one's death, while "You're Going To Die" is exactly as bleak as it sounds, being a blunt statement that when you do die (which you will) there'll be nothing except "blackness and nothing" and that you'll "fade out of people's memories/quite shortly after you die".
    • In his autobiography he mentions that Blue ROFL was written around a time of enormous tragedy around him (including multiple family deaths and brushes of both friends and family with disease and cancer) and that this informed both the album and his decision to retire.
  • Dude, Not Funny!: Some people were not happy when he released a song shortly after the death of Michael Jackson, which treated the subject concerned with the respect and dignity obviously expected of a band named after the word "cunt".
    • "Paperboy" receives this reaction from some people - Kunt has been physically assaulted at least once while performing it because it's just that sick.
  • Fake Band: It's just one guy and some synths, and occasionally a puppet named Little Kunt who "sings" on some of the songs (really just Kunt pitched up a bit).
  • Getting Crap Past the Radar: "I'm Gonna Think Of You" starts off as a sad song mourning his ex-partner. And then he mispronounces the chorus in a very, very "unfortunate" way. In general, he has to do this because YouTube are none too keen on his videos staying up for more than a bit as people keep reporting them
  • The Four Chords of Pop: If it weren't for the band's general subject matter and the cheap production, Kunt's songs would pretty much just be standard catchy pop tunes.
  • Insistent Terminology: Kunt insists that he be called a "minor Internet hit singer", which is if nothing else an entirely accurate title (he got to number 66 in the charts with "Use My Arse As A Cunt", which is certainly a qualifier as a "minor hit".)
  • Intercourse with You: "I'm Gonna Lick You Out".
  • Last Note Nightmare: "One Last Wank And One Last Cry" ends with this as Kunt discovers his penis has stigmata.
  • Myspeld Rökband: For remarkably obvious reasons.
  • Refuge in Audacity: They're called "Kunt and the Gang". Enough said.
  • Stealth Parody: "I Was Pissed Out Of My Head" sounds like it's Kunt defending his actions (beating someone senseless and murdering a prostitute) on the nebulous basis that he was drunk, but it could be argued that it's actually making fun of people who do depraved things and use drunkenness as an excuse. Although it's entirely possible that, this being Kunt And The Gang, that's reading far too much into it.
  • Take That!: The Hidden Track on some CD pressings of "I Have Another Wank And I Have Another Cry" is a stunningly abusive song apparently directed at someone called Mel who used to do the band's press, who according to the song is very fat and ugly (amongst many, many other things). "Mel, she looks like a barrel" is one of the few printable lines.
    • Several lines in the Amy Winehouse "tribute" "Amy (It's A Terrible Shamey)" make light of the fact that one of the few truly popular things she did was a reworking of "Valerie", a song by The Zutons. Which normally wouldn't be too bad, but Kunt's repetition of the point to the exclusion of virtually anything else seems intended to highlight the idea that one of the only noteworthy things she ever did was a reworking of someone else's song. That and the probably sarcastic assertion that her songs were "not at all samey."
  • Truck Driver's Gear Change: "Boris Johnson Is A Fucking Cunt". Repeatedly.


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