Warning: All spoilers are unmarked in moment pages.
- Several with Stephen King's Jordy Verrill:
- Jordy: Meteor shit! [wipes hand on his overalls]
- During his fantasy sequence about seeking medical attention for his fingers, the doctor flips open a steam-sterilizer and pulls out a cleaver:Doctor: This is going to be extremely painful, Mr. Verrill!
- During his "bummer" fantasy sequence about the broken meteor, the scene is framed with an overlay of a raincloud and set in the "Department of Meteors" at the university. At the end of the sequence, Jordy, utterly shamed, uses his hat to cover the worthless meteor.
- The fact that his idea of getting rich off the meteor is being paid 200 dollars.
- When he's about to bathe and strips down to see how much of the plant is on him, he screams in terror when it's implied that the plant is growing over his crotch.Jordy: Oh no, not there!
- Richard Grantham accidentally (on purpose) saying "hick" and not "husband" to describe Hank.
- Henry's Indulgent Fantasy Segue where he fantasizes about shooting his bitchy wife right between the eyes, and everyone else applauds his aim.
- Henry, as Billie is devoured by the yeti thing from the crate, simply tells her, "Tell him to call you 'Billie'!"
- The garbage men who find the discarded comic at the end are rather amusing, particularly the note of disappointment in their voices that they can't send away for the "authentic voodoo doll".
- Upson Pratt's conversation with Mrs. "Cat-sun-jammer", while showing that he's unbelievably heartless, is Black Comedy at its finest.Pratt: Would you mind telling me who gave you my private number? I'd like to fire him.
Mrs. Castonmayer: [in tears] It was in my husband's address book, you son of a bitch!
Pratt: ...Well, I can't fire him, now, can I?
- How chuffed Nathan is to finally get his "cake". There is a very obvious smug tone when he says "I got my cake!"
- "Gray Matter":
- Richie's insistence to his son that he will quit drinking in is sad the first time, but the second time he does this, he pops open a can of beer almost immediately after. The third time, he is actually in the middle of drinking a beer, and his son just walks off in annoyance.
- Apparently, Richie's mutation into a Blob Monster, aside from giving him an insatiable hunger for human flesh, a sensitivity to light, and other such horrifying details, also made him addicted to daytime soaps.
- "The Finger" is nonstop hilarity, even if it's some very dark hilarity.
- After going apeshit after getting another phone call from a debt collector, even going so far as to beat the shit out of his answering machine with his phone, Clark proceeds to tell the audience that he's not usually this aggressive... before essentially claiming that the caller deserved it.Clark: (to the caller) Why don't you fucking die?! (assaults his answering machine) Die! Die! Die! You fucking vampires! (hangs up; breathes heavily) ... (to the camera) Sorry. I'm not normally this, um... aggro... It's just... I mean, come on. You hate them too, right? Those anonymous people who- who aren't even really people. Don't you just wish you could make them suffer?
- When the police show up at his front door in order to ask him questions about his ex-wife, seeing as she was recently killed, Clark decides to truncate the interrogation by abruptly slamming the door shut in their faces in order to summarize things for the audience.
- Bob the severed finger's love of watching daytime soaps and eating popcorn.
- Clark shoving an unfortunate biker's intestines into the garbage disposal, having no real reaction outside of annoyance because of all the brutal things he's seen Bob do.
- After going apeshit after getting another phone call from a debt collector, even going so far as to beat the shit out of his answering machine with his phone, Clark proceeds to tell the audience that he's not usually this aggressive... before essentially claiming that the caller deserved it.
- "The Man From the Suitcase":
- Justin discovering the titular character.Justin: Oh man, you've gotta go to the hospital.
Man in the Suitcase: [ominously] No. Western medicine cannot help me.
Justin: Are you sure? I mean, they can do all sorts of stuff. Like, this one kid, he lost his legs in a car accident, and they replaced them with pogo sticks. And now he's really good at basketball, which is really weird because he was really bad at basketball before. But I think it's going to his head, because now he's roughing around with everyone, but not in a funny way.
Man in the Suitcase: [interrupting] Excuse me, but I am in a lot of pain right now. So could you please help me out of this suitcase, and then I will give your school drama the attention I'm sure it deserves.
- Despite being in an intense amount of pain, the man in the suitcase still takes the time to correct Alex when he refers to Istanbul as Constantinople.
- Justin discovering the titular character.
- "Skincrawlers" has Henry, who smugly looks at the viewer while munching on a candy bar after seeing everyone who underwent weight loss via having fat-sucking slugs pumped into them explode spectacularly while he showed hesitation and survived.