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Blog / Gaijin Smash

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I'm assigned to three different Japanese middle schools. The grade levels are ichinensei,
ninensei, and sannensei. These translate to "1st years," "2nd years," and "3rd years," and are
equivalent to American 7-9th grades. So the kids are about 12-15 years old. The ichinensei are
just beginning to learn English. So this means they know nothing. Well, they know "Good
Morning" and "I go to school by bike" but that's about it. Some of them don't even know that.

You know what's kind of funny though? Some kids can't yet say "Good morning" but damn near all
of them can ask if I have a big dick. Or "bigu dikku" in Engrish.
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Gaijin Smash (now Gaijin Chronicles) is the story of Jeffrey "Azrael" Windham, an African-American who moved to Japan as part of the JET teacher exchange program. It originally started as a blog called I Am a Japanese Schoolteacher, about his experiences teaching English at two middle schools in a Japanese town, but has since moved to its own domain and going further into his experiences as a foreigner in the Land of the Rising Sun, even after he moved on from that job.

The term Gaijin Smash is about the "ability" foreigners — especially large foreigners — in Japan seem to have that allows them to often ignore certain customs (and at one point, jump a train turnstile without paying) through sheer force of will and/or Refuge in Audacity (doubly so for Az, given that he's seen as a Scary Black Man by default).

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In June 2010, the blog switched names to the "Gaijin Chronicles". It has been going through Schedule Slip, as there was a hiatus of four years from January 2012 to February 2016. In 2018, the domain name for gaijinchronicles.com expired, but the blog is still available under its Word Press URL.


Gaijin Smash provides examples of the following tropes:

  • Marshmallow Hell: Az gets one of these from behind from one of his 15-year-old students. Unfortunately, he makes the mistake of turning his head to see what's pressed up against it.
  • Meganekko: Ms. Americanized is a subversion. She looks like a Meganekko, but she's pretty much the opposite of a Shrinking Violet, having gained her nickname in part from being outspoken and vulgar even by American standards.
  • Metaphorgotten: Happens occasionally.
    "Y’see, the Japanese LOVE lines. Like, if you could make the concept of lining up into a human being, otaku guys would marry the DS game which simulates lining up for things."
  • Mighty Whitey and Mellow Yellow: Azrael discusses this trope once. He believes that part of the perception of this is that Japanese in general approach foreigners with fewer of the cultural constraints that come between them, and aggressively compared to how foreigners approach each other.
  • Never Mess with Granny: Many, many examples. According to Az, they are the most powerful force in Japan. Especially if that Mount Fuji story is anything to go by.

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