Funny: Atop The Fourth Wall 2013 Episodes
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Kamandi At Earth's End # 3
Son of AT4W Live! Transformers # 24
- The day of the panel, the fire alarm went off at the Gaylord around 7:00AM. This led to a number of tweets suggesting that it was done to get people to attend it.
- As Optimus Prime is getting the chip out of his brain, which was used for Decepticon espionage, Linkara riffs on how awkward it would get.
- Linkara humming the Final Fantasy victory music when the Protectobots defeat the two Combaticons in the vine area.
- When Optimus Prime gets shot in the back after Megatron uses the "Afterdeath" code respawn himself in the game:
"Damn you, Megatron. You typed in "iddqd
- Linkara rant's pertaining to Optimus Prime forfeiting the game (and subsequently getting killed in real life) just because he allowed some NPC's to die when trying to pull himself up after being shot in the back by Megatron.
- "Ethan Zachary, press the button on my joystick."
- Another one courtesy of the audience:
Linkara: That's right: we're gonna resolve the situation by essentially playing player-versus-player on an MMO. I am now envisioning Optimus Prime yelling "No camping!" while Megatron laughs and proclaims "LOL n00b".
Audience member: And teabagging!
- This one actually got Linkara to corpse for a while.
Raver # 1
Transformers # 31
Happy Days # 2
All Star Batman and Robin # 5
- Wonder Woman monologues that the world of men leaves her with a bad taste.
- Even funnier if you've seen his "Linkara Riffs" on the short film "A Word to the Wives", wherein a dish including grape jelly and mustard is made.
- While Crazy Steve beats up a pair of muggers, their victim watches with a maniacal grin on her face.
Linkara: Oh my God, the madness is spreading!
Narration:The Justice League of America. For now, they are creatures of accident and destiny. Each seeking their way.
Linkara (as Narrator):They could really use a GPS.
Narration:To Truth. To Justice.
Linkara: To sweet, sweet booze!!! (Takes a drink of Klingon Blood Wine)
- Linkara berates Crazy Steve for beating up a guy for asking "What?", noting that this is not Pulp Fiction.
- "Out of my way, sperm bank!" "Out of my way, internet meme!"
- Adding "Bonkers Betty" to the list of names he gives when his favorite superheroes act out of character and In Name Only.
- Linkara now has a backstory for Crazy Steve, involving a discarded Batman outfit and a lotto ticket.
- When Wonder Woman declares that all men lie:
Linkara:"You look pretty today!"
Wonder Woman:"Liar!I look hideous!"
Youngblood # 5
Star Wars 3-D # 1
Night of AT 4 W Live! Skate Man
Marville # 4
- "Because poor literacy is… It's Marville. Poor literacy is the least of your problems."
- "... we actually have dialogue balloons again. Some might say that's a good thing because we can actually read the damn thing now. I say that's a terrible thing because we can actually read the damn thing now."
- Any time he reacts with an angry stare, or uses a Dragon Ball Z Abridged clip.
- The return of the "We should do something." "Should we do something?" gag from his Countdown review.
- Linksano's reaction to Jack talking about God waiting for scientists to do things on purpose:
Linksano: ON PURPOSE!? Hey, how about I test and see how flammable the comic is on purpose!'''
- His closing line: "THIS COMIC....AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST........AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!?!?"
- He then tosses the comic against the wall.
- Pollo spends all his screentime upset because his new body doesn't have working arms.
You had one job! One job! Working arms!!!
- Linkara's sheer incredulity at the existence of the Jewish dinosaurs.
- The way he preempts fanboy complaints about how Holokara reviewed the third issue is just hysterical.
- After many angry rants on inaccurate dinosaurs, reacting to "those water reptiles, what are their names, pterosaurus?" with Stunned Silence. And a picture of an actual pterosaur.
- An unintentional but apt one after the intro. When Linkara drunkenly collapses on the couch, the camera's autofocus freaks out and makes the picture shift between blurry and clear, as if it were drunk too.
- "Could you be more annoying?" "I didn't think so, but then Marville found whole new ways to do it!"
- "That's like Hamlet." "I think it's more like Macbeth. A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Wolverine evolves from the otter. And Linkara's reaction to it.
March of The Titans - Part 1 - Team History
March of the Titans - Part 2 - JLA/Titans: Technis Imperative
- The title card. Danny Phantom's Technus combined with Cyborg. It's as hilarious as it sounds.
- Linkara doing the Pass the Popcorn trope.
- His description of how territorial different books editors and writers can be regarding crossover events.
- To go into more detail, he describes the characters as having their own "fiefdoms" of writers and editors, and how it's a problem during crossovers. In Ye Olde Butchered English with an accent to match.
Batman Writer!Linkara: Yea, I have written a story in which Batman and Wonder Woman team up to fight Lex Luthor.
Superman Editor!Linkara:Nay! I am the editor of the Superman books, and ye shall not use Lex Luthor in your story.
Wonder Woman Editor!Linkara:I doth protest! I am the editor of Wonder Woman, and ye shall not use Wonder Woman unless you mention this event occurring in the book.
- His reaction to Batman's weird cape.
Linkara: Oracle consults with Batman on it, saying he should shut down the Batcomputer...*starts laughing*and what the hell is Batman wearing? With the shoulder spikes? I don't even remember that being a thing in the 90s with Batman.
- Cut to Linkara imitating Batman in an unusually awkward hunched pose.
Batman!Linkara: Now that I look like Stryfe,
everyone will know that I'm cool. I'm Batman.
- His sheer joy at Changeling's subtle, gentle tactic at breaking through to Cyborg:
Changeling: "HEY RUSTBUCKET! LET GO OF THE FRICKING MOON ALREADY, WILL YA!"
- Linkara's reaction to the reveal of Technis' size.
Linkara: SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP IT'S SWALLOWING THE MOON!
*cut to Linkara staring wide-eyed at the comic* I would say "Pants To Be Darkened"
, but I can assure you that it's already done.
March of the Titans - Part 3 - The Titans #1- 25
March of the Titans - Part 4 - The Titans #26- 50
- The episode starts off with a typical Previously On skit... Only to stop dead in its tracks when Linkara finds out that the The Nostalgia Critic has returned.
- "Titans, together! We will defeat subprime mortgaging!"
- Linkara's several minute-long rant about the plot holes opened up by one issue's revelations. It gets to the point where the inevitable Batman Forever clip feels like a gross understatement.
April Fool's Day 2013 - Target $ 20 Lamp
- The review's concept itself, Linkara actually doing a lamp review... except he isn't. It's a Cinema Snob parody.
- The Stinger: Linkara reveals that the fake mustache and beard that he paid sixteen dollars for is just not working, and declares that he's drawing one in pen.
Power Pachyderms # 1
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
Dragnet # 4
- Linkara's voiceovers at the beginning and after the commercial break.
- The drawn-out montage of Friday's "speechifying".
- Pollo dressed as a Dragnet officer.
- Playing the Teen Titans Drug PSA, overdubbed with his riffs (Because it lacks audio).
Linkara!Raven: I'm the spawn of Satan, and so can you!
- Explaining that the "divisions" that Joe Friday was in for each story could be perceived as reboots, and then saying that his favorite reboot was the "Post-Zero Hour" Joe Friday, where he was a cyborg.
- His awkward squirming at admitting that some Dragnet episodes display rather...old-fashioned values.
Wild Thing # 1
- The cover narration reads "Inside: The Virtual Destruction of the Entire Marvel Universe!"
Linkara: Why do we need a virtual one? The actual publisher does a fine job of it already. *rimshot*
- Linkara referring to 90's Kid as a technological savant, which leads to this line:
90's Kid: Duuuuuuuuuuude! I put a clock on a screwdriver!
Linkara: He has his off days.
- Linkara uses the "There is logic in what he says" clip when a character literally uses the word "logic." Even if everything else he said had absolutely no logic to it.
- Making a reference to the obscure Albert Pyun DTV film Arcade, and lamenting how much of a nerd he really is.
- "Aaaaaand ASS SHOT!"
Spider-Man 2099 # 1
- As soon as he comments on the future teens' Totally Radical slang of using "shock" instead of the F-wordnote , Linkara gets interrupted by 90's Kid... 2090's Kid, that is.
- Who then gives us such great slang as "rodalicious", "kleenex" and "sewing machine"
- And his backing theme? Daft Punk's Derezzed.
- Linkara's parody of the 60's Spider-Man theme:
Linkara: Spider-Man, Spider-Man, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man; Can he swing from a thread? No he can't, he's too busy performing corporate espionage. Does it rhyme? I don't care. This is the end of the joke now."
- Stinger version.
Spider-Man, Spider-Man, alters his genetic structure to be like Spider-Man. Addicted to drugs, he's our guy. Got inspiration from The Fly
. Look out! Here comes the Spider-Man!"
- This bit where Miguel shows his research on the original Spider-Man:
Miguel: His name was Spider-Man. One of the premier boys from the old heroic age, 'round the turn of the century. Proportionate strength of a spider.
- Linkara being confused by 2099 Spider-Man not showing any webs to swing around on, even though Wikipedia says that's how he gets around. "How does he shot web?"
- The comic ends with the revelation that Miguel now has fangs, claws, and worst of all, Youngblood's Disease!
Punisher 2099 # 1
- The tagline and the title card, which depicts Linkara looking bored as NERF bullets from the futuristic Punisher bounce off his chest.
Just in case you thought the Punisher needed more shoulderpads.
- Linkara reacting to the Street Surgeons.
- Punisher 2099 narrates the final entry of the original Punisher's journal. "You who find this—I charge you to carry on my work."
- Linkara assumes that the Punisher is so angry because the weird-looking skull design on his chest must be digging into his crotch.
- And later, he notices something odd about the shape.
: You know, upon closer inspection of his crotch—shut up
—it actually looks like what he's got glued there are really big McDonald's drink cups. Punisher 2099 is made of good decisions, it would seem.
- When Jake, the Punisher 2099, learns about the original Punisher.
Jake: Frank Castle, the guy in this old journal Matt and I found in police files. HE knew what he was doing.
: (In the Jake voice)
Except for that one time where he became a Frankenstein monster... (In his normal voice) I'm not kidding either
, Google it: FrankenCastle.
Jake: A crime deserves a real punishment, not a credit transfer. I know what Castle would have done...
Linkara: (In the Jake voice) Become a black guy! (In his normal voice) Not kidding about that one either, add that one to the list of comics I'm gonna review someday!
- One of the Jake's weapons is called a grenazer. Linkara's reaction? Pull up a Nerf gun and declare it a "microwave shotgun rocket launcher"
- Still on the subject of guns, Linkara's lampshading of how ridiculous nineties guns were gets better and better with each mention... to the point he wonders aloud if artists in the nineties knew what a gun looked like. There aren't words for that kind of Critical Research Failure.
- In the credits, Linkara makes a point that his Nerf gun is more realistic than the guns in the comic. His conclusion to this fact: STOP DRAWING GUNS!
- The 2090s Kid bit dealing with the "Cryo-Bags"
: I can buy this kind of stuff in Schlock Mercenary
, since it takes place HUNDREDS of years in the future, but I have a hard time believing that in a hundred years, we'll have cryogenic technology so good that we can just stuff organs in a ziploc bag for maximum freshness.
2090s Kid: Duuuuuuude! That's not true at all. In the future, Cryo-Bags are really common. Here, check out this human hand I have perfectly preserved. (pulls out a plastic bag containing a rubber hand.)
Linkara: Who's hand is that?
2090s Kid: Mine. Radiation mutation in the future caused me to grow a third arm in a very uncomfortable place. Fortunately, surgery removed it, and I keep it around as a souvenir. And to prank people. (Gives thumbs up.)
: The future sounds icky.
- The other 2090s Kid bit after he asks if artists in the 90s even knew what a gun looks like.
2090s Kid: Duuuude! You're just not used to the futuristic technology of 2099!! Those are called the "Radical Sensors." They make sure the bullet always hits the centre of mass.
Linkara: What if you want to hit something that's not the centre of mass, like their head?
2090s Kid (confused): Why would you want to do that? That just means you'd have to STOP firing the gun.
Doom 2099 # 1
- "How long have I been away?" "I just went out for coffee! What the hell?"
- "Don't you know who I am?" "I'm the goddamn Batman! Eh— oh, wait."
- One of the characters starts using real words in a Totally Radical manner. This makes 2090's Kid's use of "Sewing Machine" increasingly apropos.
Wire: Chill, Xandra. Enjoy the glide. This aces shortconning foodpacks in the Antikva market-place any day.
- A fortune teller working for the new ruler of Latveria predicts that there will be a shift in power...right as Doctor Doom comes busting in.
: Useless ass psychic powers!
- When Latveria is described as a "Fairytale kingdom", he imagines Victor Von Doom being rescued by a handsome prince... named Reed Richards.
- His reaction to Doom being in the Rocky Pose on the cover
Linkara: You can bet if it was Doom in place of Rocky in the films, he would have won the first time. Probably would have taken out Ivan Drago and Clubber Lang no problem as well. Ooh! Just had a wonderful thought. Doctor Doom vs. Mr. T. I would pay so much money for that.
- That last bit probably becomes a bit funnier when you see that one of his episodes in the next schedule block is for Mr. T and the T-Force #2.
- When discussing the fact that Tiger Wylde is spelled with a y and an e, the poor literacy joke come up again, only for 2090's Kid to make a rebuttal:
2090s Kid: Duuuude! That's not poor literacy! In the future, the usage of language, particularly thanks to the Internet, have made the letters "i" and "y" completely interchangeable, while "e" is a marker of pronunciation at the end of a word.
Linkara (confused): That was ... surprisingly well spoken.
2090s Kid: In 2099, spelling bees have become a national sport!
: Huh. (Confused) Hey, wait. If "y" and "i" are interchangeable now, does that mean that the "90's Kid" logo in the upper-left hand corner
has been spelled wrong the last few weeks?
2090s Kid (looks at the upper left hand corner, confused): What "90's Kid" logo?
Ravage 2099 # 1
- Linkara describes Ravage's costume as "Steampunk: you're doing it wrong."
- The return of our 90s Kid.
Linkara: Did you get any lotto numbers?
90s Kid: Yeah, but I saved them to a USB drive that you can only use if you have a floppy drive as well.
- Reacting to the protagonist's name actually BEING Ravage.
Linkara: His name is LITERALLY Ravage!? (Headache pose) Uuuugh! Look, I may have been wrong last week about Tyger Wylde's last name, but C'MON! Really, Stan? Really? You're not even going to try, just name him Hero Von Good Guy and don't waste our time.
- Linkara makes fun of the protagonist's line "I tread where I please."
Linkara: Sir, don't walk on that lava!
Linkara as Paul: I tread where I please! (Is set aflame) Oh, God, it burns!
Comic Book Quickies
Kamandi At Earth's End # 4
Sci-Spy # 3
- Singing "All By Myself" as Sebastian Starchild.
- "Isn't it just like a mom to care too much about your dates? Or in this case, the woman who said you looked like a pimp in the previous issue, and then you called her a bitch? (beat) This comic is stupid."
- "I know it seems a little sudden, but it must've been how [Sebastian] wooed her with his charm and charisma and… (laughs) oh man, I couldn't even finish that sentence!"
- Feeding off The Andromeda Strain miniseries by rubbing the DVD on his chest. "YES! FEED ME!"
- Also, The Stinger. "I am rubbing a DVD on my chest. What has become of my life?"
Star Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men
- The title Card, Linkara giving a big smile while pointing to Patrick Stewart as Jean Luc-Picard and Professor Charles Xavier
- Linkara's total deadpan when he says that he promoted himself to Admiral
- Linkara's idea of blending in with people from the late 90's: "I'll need Pokémon plushies and Beanie Babies!" "Way ahead of you, sir!"
- When the crew mentions to the X-Men they're from the Enterprise.
Enterprise? Starship Enterprise, are you some of Kirk's people?
- Lampshading how Wolverine always gets The Worf Effect when Data casually throws him across the room.
- Pulling out the Nitpicker's Guide to Star Trek: The Next Generation when Kang says there are continuity errors.
- Saying that the Avengers and Fantastic Four were suffering a fate worse than death because they were being drawn by Rob Liefeld. Then counting down how long it would take for his joke to be ruined because the commenters would point out that Liefeld only drew Avengers and Captain America.
- Apologizing for being such a nerd. "Really, is this your first time watching this?"
- Saying Epic Rap Battles of History should have a rap battle with Captain Picard and Professor Xavier. "I'm giving you an easy one here."
Mr. T and the T-Force # 2
- The ending bit with "Snowflame!"
Linkara: And if you'll excuse me I have to go deal with a problem before I am arrested.
- Linkara's joy at finding... another Mr T. trading card!
- "Because poor literacy is... another superpower of Mr. T."
- His utter glee at seeing Mr. T fighting demonic dinosaurs in a drug-induced hallucination.
Linkara: This could be the greatest comic ever made!
- Justice (Mr. T's drug dealer friend from the first issue) sees Mr. T in his drug-addled state and recognizes that he's been drugged.
Justice: I seen guys go through this before, dey end up like dem zombies in dat Jackson video.
Linkara: They get wasted and start dancing like this? *Pulls up video of himself doing the Thriller dance...poorly.*
- His mentoning how the last time he review some Mr. T comics was "dissapointing... and a little Shia LaBeouf-y". (cue the rapid fire "No!" clip from "Mr. T #2")
- After Justice declares himself "sideways," Linkara's skit in response has him lying sideways on the futon.
Justice!Linkara: That's right, I'm sideways! 'Cept for the times when I'm vertical, anyway.
Day of AT4W LIVE!: Yu-Gi-Oh! Chapter 3
All Star Batman And Robin # 6
Dawn of AT4W LIVE! Mangaverse Fantastic Four
- During the theme song, Linkara can be heard demanding that Doug (who is operating the camera) sings. He responds by singing derisive gibberish.
Theme Song: Linkara, he is a man, punch, wears a Purdy hat.
Doug (at same time): Linkara, The Nostalgia Critic is so much better, Linkara...
- Doug's "Linkara, that's his logo" lyric eventually causes Linkara to crack up during the theme song sing-along.
- Doug sings the entire first verse as "Linkara, Linkara, Linkara, Linkara," etc.
- The second time Linkara's name appears in the song prompts this:
- The review opens with Doug's hand operating as a gloveless glove puppet at the camera.
Linkara: Doug, the only people who will see that are the people watching after I put the video up.
Doug (as Chester A. Bum): Hello, internet!
- Prior to the start of the review Linkara gives a humorous warning about audience members chiming in with their own jokes during the review.
"You are, of course, well within your right to do that, but remember everything said here will be posted online, so if you are not funny, you will be seen being not funny in front of potentially thousands of people. Just sayin."
- Linkara mentioning how the Fantastic Four already deal with "the bizzare kind of crap that could be in anime or manga": robots, monsters, interdimensional creatures, aliens, mutant mole people, magic, self-serving bunny-cats trying to avert the heat death of the universe... Generic reference, generic reference, generic reference, Incredibly Specific Reference.
- Linkara's enthusiasm over the concept of putting cheat codes into the universe, hoping for infinite lives and DK Mode for April Fools.
- Continual jokes about having cheat codes enabled (and video games in general) throughout the review.
- Taking bets on what's headed for Earth around the moon: Princess Kaguya, the aliens from Independence Day, or Transformers.
- One audience member suggests it might be the Black Arms.
- All the Neon Genesis Evangelion references
- Reed Richard's odd use of terminology, like an old man who thinks he knows what's cool.
- Pronouncing the censor bars in the comic AS "censor bar."
- Summing up the Reed Richards of this comic as an a-hole who pulls stuff out of his butt whenever it's convenient. And then saying that they got that part right.
- After the review, Linkara asks Doug to reposition the camera for the Q&A. Doug responds with several lines about how sexy Linkara's face is.
- "Oh that face is soo sexy! I MUST zoom in on iiiitt..."
Doug: Check out this awesome sauce-ness! I must zoom in on it!
Linkara: I know, right?
- And then Linkara makes a face that makes Doug shout in the same voice that the camera just exploded.
- During interviews, when Linkara ranted about DC's obsession with dead children, one of the patrons said, "How many children died in YOUR backstory". His response? "Technically, she was already dead when the series started."
Tandy Computer Whiz Kids: A Deadly Choice
- The very beginning:
Cut to title card reading "Merry Christmas from Atop the Fourth Wall." In July.
- He then demands that the title card artist put even a slight bit of effort into it. Cut to the exact same title card, but with Merry Christmas From scored out, and "250th episode celebration" written under it in Comic Sans.
- When the kids are discussing what they did during their vacations we get this interesting answer:
Ms. Wilson: Alec, will you start?
Alec: (happily) Shanna and I worked at a camp for emotionally disturbed youngsters!
Linkara: YOU'RE TWELVE YEARS OLD!
- Linkara theorizes that Alec and Shanna only thought they were working there when they were really there as patients.
- Linkara's skit after Ms. Wilson declares that all drugs are bad for your health.
Linkara!Student: Ms. Wilson, what about my asthma inhaler?
Linkara!Ms Wilson: All drugs are dangerous and addictive!
- A similar gag appears when Shanna is accused of telling a caller where to find drugs.
Linkara!Shanna: But I was just telling him to go to the grocery store and get some Ibuprofen!
Linkara!Principal: All drugs are evil, Shanna!! Haven't we instilled that in you yet?!
- After realizing that they are still in the same classroom, discussing their summer vacation, and the subsequent rant.
- Then static, and the episode restarts.
- The ad immediately after this summer camp-related breakdown when the episode was first posted was an ad for the USA reality show "Summer Camp" in one of those cases of perfect ad-related timing.
- And after the ad break, it cuts back to the end of the long rant quoted above.
- His second rant is even worse; the hotline triggers it, but he starts thinking about all of the nonsense and plot holes in the comic, and he begins to steadily get more frantic and hysterical, until he starts talking about Black Canary from the last review, and finally, notices that he has a Weedle doll of all things in his hand... and theeeeeen, he finally has something long overdue; another epic Freak Out set to The Wurzels' "Combine Harvester". It culminates with Linkara being completely out of it with a ball on his hat (and another in his shirt pocket) after taking some 'happy pills', before he finally gets back to the comic. And the whole thing is glorious.
- Reacting to Ms. Wilson's comment that neither Tommy or Bobby are interested in school activities.
"The writers of this comic have never encountered children before, have they? They know they exist, but only in a vague mythical kind of sense."
- The comic features cameos from <BOOM!> BIG JIM SLADE! Hevenu Shalom aleichem...
- Linkara's bewilderment at the possible revelation that Alec and Shanna might actually be siblings.
- The tally of grammatical errors throughout the comic, made even sweeter by the revelation that the editor was Editor-in-Chief of Archie Comics for a time.
- When Bobby and Tommy go to talk to the drug dealer about their "company's customer relations":
Linkara/Tommy: "We think that your method of responding to customer's complains, namely stabbing them and stealing their wallets, is creating a bad image for the corporation!"
- In the comments section one person pointed out how the Christmas Logo was being Shown in July and asked if Lord Slug froze Earth again. Linkara's response: I am Champion of Christmas!!!
Battlestar Galactica # 1
- He decides to celebrate because it's the first non-sequel in some time. Cue the Merry Christmas sign again.
- Once again he doesn't have a comic, and still does the poses anyway.
Marville # 5
- Even before the review, this Tweet from Linkara was pretty funny:
"I threw my copy of Marville #5 so hard against the wall the cover ripped off. And nothing of value was lost." Link
- Linkara opens without saying anything, just passing out with a bottle in his hand.
Pollo: *looks in from the left side of the screen, then looks at the camera* "Um... give us a second here, people. It's Marville time again."
- It's the pause after the 'um' that sells this line. Even Pollo is exasperated by what Marville does to Linkara.
- Linkara's passing-out routine is also hilarious, since he just stares fixedly at the camera before gradually tipping over.
- "Oh, but now it thinks it's still being a parody, because under 'Marville', it says 'Originville'! Get it?! Just like that comic, Wolverine: Origins? And this comic features Wolverine prominently? And that it's 'Originville' instead of 'Origins'? Do you get it?! DO YOU GET IT?!? IT'S FUNNY!! LAUGH!!! LAUGH, DAMN YOU!!!! And then stop laughing, because it isn't funny."
Mickey: Let me get this straight.
Linkara: Oh, why start now.
Mickey: Are you an X-man or an…
Lucy: He's an ex-otter — he's the first animal to mutate into a human.
Linkara: Okay. One, no. Two, GOD no. Three, that was a terrible pun. Four, NO, NO, NO!!
- The horrific realization that Bill Jemas is no longer attempting a parody, even though it looks and sounds like one. Marville accurately depicts how he believes the world works.
- Linkara theorizes that Bill Jemas has suffered some kind of Sanity Slippage that makes it impossible for him to tell the difference between reality and fantasy. So Mr. Jemas may, in fact, literally believe Wolverine is the first human, and that he evolved from a sea otter.
- Once there's a rant on how two different species can't breed, Linkara points to a lion, a tiger, a liger, and then the comic with the caption "DUMBASS".
- Dr. Linksano flips the bird to the comic when it's starting to actually insult the scientists and their theories toward evolution.
- And later Linkara advises people with any interest in anthropology to do the same at the screen when the comic says that anthropologists are just people who don't have a job.
- While Linkara rants, a caption says that the text-only panel is hard to zoom in, thus the comic is actively trying to stop him from reviewing it.
- "And quoting Ted Turner again, 'The power is yours.'"
- "The worst is yet to come. And in the meantime. I will drink myself into a religious experience. But thankfully, when that happens I WON'T CHARGE $3 FOR YOU TO HEAR IT!"
- "I hope you step on a lego brick in the middle of the night."
- The Stinger, where Bill & Ted quote to St. Peter "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Linkara then says that scene was more profound than anything in Marville.
- "Why are they white?"
- When "genetic fail-safes" are mentioned that prevent two separate species from having fertile children, Linkara's mini-rant and subsequent puzzled facial expression are priceless:
Linkara: Genetic fail-safes? You mean the fact that their biology is incompatible? That's not a fail-safe it's just common friggin' sense! Oh man! My screwdriver is incompatible with my headache pills! Clearly God programmed them so they would not be able to breed together and have Phillips head gel caps! (headache pills shake)
Tales to Offend # 1
The Culling, Part 1: Teen Titans Annual # 1
- The listing of the New 52 comics he does like. Most have captions reading Cancelled or other problems. He ends with a non-DC comic, Deadpool.
- "Also, just take a moment to enjoy the surroundings, everyone. I hope you like the color red, because that's what you're gonna be seeing throughout this crossover. Although, personally, I can't really tell the difference. When I have to read stuff like Marville, or anything by Frank Miller or Rob Liefeld, I see red for weeks at a time."
- The jabs at the Tron-esque costumes, because, well, they are stupid.
- "We open with Robin laying on the ground, with someone's foot on his chest, threatening to murder him if he even tries to blink. A rare glimpse into the writers meeting when the higher-ups said that they were doing this reboot."
- "Goodwill and joy are the enemies of superheroes! Haven't you seen Man of Steel?!"
- His imitation of Harvest doing... something.
Narrator: No one knows the name he used before he came to call himself Harvest.
Linkara: For the record, though, it was Farmer Steve.
Narrator: He alone knows where he came from… and when.
Linkara: Harvest-eye Joe. Where did you come from, where did you go?
- Early on, Linkara plays the Batman Forever clip ("It just raises too many questions.") after listing off a string of plot holes. After the comic gets even worse, he notes that he used it way too soon.
Land of AT 4 W Live: Captain Planet and the Planeteers # 1
- At the end of the comic, Captain Planet pulls a And Knowing Is Half the Battle and asks the reader to help him save the planet. Many audience members then respond "No!"
The Culling, Part 2: Superboy # 9
Linkara: Last time, the Teen Titans and a lost group of the legion of superheroes were kidnapped by a guy named Harvest, to fight in his gladiatorial arena against other teenagers in a battle to the death. And the prize for winning?
Linkara: No, because that would actually be a worthwhile prize.
- "Oh, and Dawnstar of the Legion is on the cover too. I'm presuming she's there because they felt that if they didn't have boobs — uh, I mean, a Legion member on the cover, there'd be no other way of knowing this was a crossover."
- Linkara's joke regarding Ridge's British accent.
Linkara impersonating Ridge
: "I say, old boy, how very rude of you to not murder other innocent teenagers! That's just not done!" *chomps pipe
- Linkara pointing out the Insane Troll Logic.
Rose Wilson: "Focus, Red Robin! I want your full attention as I exploit this distraction!"
- "NOOOOOOOO!!!! Not the mass murdering character who was only seen now for anyone who hasn't previously read the other series involved in this crossover! NOOOOOO!!!!"
- Pointing out the absurdity of how Warblade was taken down.
: Warblade runs at Superboy, ready to gut him... And then gets hit by a rock thrown by Dawnstar... that knocks him out. So lava, heavy collisions, repeated punches to the face, none of those phase Warblade, but you throw a single rock at him- [waves arms around in prissy fashion]
-and he just, can't handle it. [facepalm]
- Harvest's power? To make the artwork crappy again!
The Culling, Part 3: Legion Lost # 9
- This little exchange:
Bunker: I like this group thinking-thing. 'Cause I know you're all checking me out with you minds!
Linkara impersonating a Legion/Titans member: Damn this telepathy, he knows!
- Linkara questioning why anyone would work for Harvest:
Linkara: Is it in their contract that they can't be fired for five years? Is the starting salary in the six digit range? Is he allowed to be as rude to customers as he wants?! HOW DO YOU GET PEOPLE TO WORK FOR YOU?!
- Prometheus from Justice League: Cry for Justice thinks Harvest is overpowered.
- Harvest's voice becoming Paradox's from the Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series.
- Showing clips of Paradox in response to Harvest's actions. They are so uncannily similar it's hilarious.
- Linkara's exasperated praise for the comic having a scene that technically manages to pass The Bechdel Test.
- Linkara's super-long list of better team names than "The Ravagers", including even the Scooby Gang and, of all things, the Quik Qlub.
- After Ridge reveals he hates being a Ravager:
Linkara: Then WHY did you JOIN THEM?!?!
The Culling, Part 4: Teen Titans # 9
- Starting out by blowing a party favor with a deadpan expression.
- "Harvest, a dumbass from the future, created a dumbass organisation called N.O.W.H.E.R.E. to kidnap dumbass teenagers and make them fight to the death so that the winners would join his dumbass team called the Ravagers, who are apparently such dumbasses that, despite hating being a part of the Ravagers, like one member has expressed, they never thought of just not joining them!
- Harvest's flip-flopping on what his goals are:
Harvest:This is why I started N.O.W.H.E.R.E.!
Linkara: To kill teenagers from the future!
Linkara: When I say that out loud it does sound kind of dumb, actually..."
- All the while Harvest continues to whine that he has great vision and seeks a better world and- oh my god, shut up, you stupid waste of a good character design!
- Linkara's reaction to Kid Flash's attempt at wit:
Kid Flash: Right?! If we got a vote, it would've been a unanimous "nah!"
Linkara: Ooh, sick burn there, Kid Flash. *Blows party horn*
- Linkara realising that Harvest had to cut out Dawnstar's boob-hole.
- Harvest doing more "just as I planned!":
Linkara: Wonder Girl wraps her lasso around his arm.
Harvest: Just as you were supposed to, Wonder Girl!
Linkara as Harvest: And now you have ripped my arm from my body... Everything is going according to plan. My plan is great.
- Linkara saying that he could be reading US-1 instead of this.
- This exchange:
Linkara: Wonder Girl says he doesn't know everything about her... For no reason...
Harvest: Of course I do! I come from a time and place where you have long been consumed by your own power! A power that means nothing to me!
Linkara: Then why did you kidnap her to try to make her join the Ravagers?!
- The bait-and-switch:
Linkara: Super boy comes up with a plan: focusing his telekinetic powers through the Lariat and into Harvest. And here's something that I know is gonna surprise you guys...
*Leans towards camera to whisper*
Linkara: It doesn't work.
- The only reason anyone works for Harvest is because he has a chocolate machine.
- Jabs at the failure in the editing:
Linkara: While Harvest flies off, Gates meets up with the Legion and reveals the time bubble to them.
Gates: —And then we can use this time machine to return home!
Linkara: Aaand an editor's box tells us "find out how badly that goes in Legion Lost #10." Well thanks for spoiling to us that things don't go well because building suspense and intrigue, would just be stupid. Then again, what would I expect from the editors who can't remember things said on the same damn page.
- Harvest still insisting that his plan is great:
Harvest: I won this battle long before you uncovered the first hint of my existence.
Linkara as Harvest: My huge facility is destroyed, my Ravagers are in shambles, the Culling has stopped, and everyone now knows I'm around. Yep, pretty much a 100% victory for me.
Narration: Meanwhile later, the N.O.W.H.E.R.E. complex is consumed by flames and fury.
Plan 9 from Outer Space: 30 Years Later # 1
- Calling the future in Plan 9 a better future than Sci-Spy.
- Suggesting that the Men in Black were formed because of Plan 9.
- Linkara's shock at Diana casually changing clothes in front of her parents.
- Linkara as Diana claiming that she discovered the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles before April O Neil.
- Calling Tor's death "The weirdest weight loss program he'd ever seen."
- Thinking the UFO in the comic should have a string just like in the movie.
- Wondering if ipods would be used for the UFO's if the movie were made today.
- Calling the aliens' new plan "Plan Occupy Outer Space".
- Saying "Thanks Robot-ma when the aliens reveal they created robot politicians.
- His surprise that he would be making Dan Quayle jokes.
Diary of Atop the Fourth Wall Live
Survival of Atop the Fourth Wall Live
Alpha 5: That didn't go very well, did it?
Linkara (as Zordon): Don't worry Alpha, just wait until they find out I slashed their tires. They aren't going anywhere.
Brute Force # 4
- The title card, showing Linkara and the bear and dolphin from the comic in Prof. Oak's laboratory where Prof. Oak has Mewtwo and Genesect behind him, sticking his thumb back to point at them while saying, "Are you a boy, or a MAN?"
- Nimue once incessantly repeated "Hot Pockets" for three hours before Linkara could fix her.
- Lion-Bot used Sand Attack! Cyber-Gorilla's accuracy fell!
- When the news media is wondering who's responsible for the attack on the power plant: "We think it could be Decepticons, a rogue faction of Cobra, though we are not willing to rule out Hoggish Greedly or Team Galactic. This seems like something stupid they would do."
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
- In a Call Back to the Star Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men review, Linkara opens by revealing that he's a captain again - he had to give himself a stern reprimand and a demotion.
- Linkara's skit after Kirk's line "I don't care if I'm senile, when I sit in this chair and give the word, you jump!"
Linkara!Lieutenant: Aye sir.
Linkara!Kirk: Now set a course for... the future, at ludicrous speed.
Linkara!Lieutenant: Aye sir...
Linkara!Kirk: Now, put on this clown costume.
Linkara!Lieutenant: But sir!
Linkara!Kirk: Dammit lieutenant, I am in the chair!
- Linkara's misquoting of Shakespeare in the later half of the review.
"Thou are as fat as butter!"
"So, the games afoot!" Linkara: "Tune thy instrument!"
- Linkara's guess at why the Enterprise fires at the Klingon ship - two of the crew were extremely drunk and had a bet to see who could press the torpedo button first.
- Linkara's commentary on McCoy after he makes the observation that "he's lost a lot of whatever this stuff is".
"McCoy's a great doctor. "What the hell is this stuff, Jell-O? Well, I'll just inject this stuff into him, that'll probably help..."
Sci-Spy # 4
- The entire 'recap' at the beginning, with a cryogenic-ly freezed Timothy Dalton, Captain Kirk, and the last Pokemon Trainer teaming up to save the Earth from the Daleks. Also doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome. :D
- "Thanks, Mother O-Bank-Ma!"
- Linkara questioning why someone would want to be genetically modified so that they would have a beak.
Linkara as Beak-Lady: You know what I've always wanted all my life? A bird beak, that would not allow me to chew my food. That would be awesome!
- Linkara gushing about the cuteness of the aliens that can reduce a person to bones. His expression helps.
Linkara: I mean they look like little cybermats but with legs, they're adorable! I don't care that they wanna kill me, they look so cuuute!
- The return of idio-stuperific.
- After Sebastian reveals that his plan of entering the wormhole might end with them not making it through:
Linkara: (exasperated) Starchild... (shakes head) ... (happily; gives a thumbs up) This is the best plan ever!
The Thing from Another World: Climate of Fear #1- 2
- Linkara commenting on this page while looking for a translation for the Spanish dialogue, with The Thing as The Error, MacReady as Junkee, and Childs as Raptor Dude.
- At the time, he says that we can't comprehend how tempted he is to use just those names from now on, which becomes a Brick Joke when Childs shows up.
- Begging the writers to let Macready die already.
- His rage that Childs is somehow still alive again.
The Thing from Another World: Climate of Fear #3- 4
- The title card for the episode. It's a parody of the Attack on Titan poster with Linkara as Eren and The Thing as the Colossal Titan, with Guren no Yumiya playing as the title card music.
- Linkara's shock at the oddly-antique chair in Agapido's office.
- The scene of Macready and the squirrel. Especially Linkara's additions.
- During the Childs-thing scene, wondering if the Thing absorbed Rambo at some point as it's running around firing off two flamethrowers at once.
- Asking the doctor if she failed medical school before deciding that yes, she did.
- The best line in the comic: Agapido tells Childs that he'd feel better if Childs would stop burning down the camp.
- The revelation that Childs is the Thing prompts Linkara to stare shocked with his mouth open at the camera, complete with 'dun-dun-dun' music, only for him to immediately say he saw this coming all along.
- Right off the bat, Jaeris having to be badgered out of his rocking-out-in-pajamas to hear the message and then grumping that he swore he wouldn't put on pants today.
- The title card, Linkara and Spidey playing a game of Crossfire.
- Linkara reciting that a reason that many didn't like Ben Reilly was that he made a deal with Venom, a villain, something Spidey would never do. Cue Linkara's sarcastic and bitter laughter.
- Looking on the bright side
Detective Raven: This case has consumed me since that night, maybe too much.
Linkara as Detective Raven
: On the plus side, I've got a perfect Two-Face
cosplay for conventions.
- Spidey's narration fail.
Spidey: You have my word before God that I'm going to find the man responsible for those murders.
Linkara as Spidey: I swear thorough the use of my telepathic powers, which I must have, since otherwise it's kind of difficult for me to swear anything to God to you, Detective.
- Linkara's 'Google-fu' failed him.
- Linkara's response to Judas Traveller's pretentious ramblings, idiotic logic, stupid motivation, and overall idiocy.
Judas Traveller: ... Caught in the crossfire of human existence,
Judas Traveller: And my eyes have beheld such struggle, such suffering, such unmitigated EVIL...
Linkara: Such BOREDOM! We get it, asshole, you're mysterious and crap! Get on with it!
Linkara: Traveler probably took tips from Harvest on idiot plans.
Judas Traveller: You're right, of course. I'm not God.
Linkara: And everyone breathe a sigh of relief there, because if he was God, then things would be more messed up than they already are.
Judas Traveller: No, I'm not God— But I'm close.
Spidey: How could you do this? Why?
Judas Traveller: I am doing nothing. It is my host.
Linkara: The host... That you sent to do that... You are a dumb character.
Scrier: Be careful.
Judas Traveller: Do not presume to warn ME, Scrier!
: You and your stupid thoughtfulness can go to Hell.
- Hell, the guy seems to be confused on how to wear his pants.
- Linkara would like to remind us, that this man is a doctor.
- Linkara pointing out that Judas himself is quite high on the evil scale.
- Judas himself barely knows how his powers work.
- Linkara's impression of Judas Traveller. All of it.
Judas Traveller: I want to know you Spider-Man... down to the cellular level. I want to understand you in a way even you can't.
Linkara as Judas Traveller: Here is a list of questions in a non-specific order. Are you allergic to peanuts? If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be? Do you prefer the normal chocolate tootsie rolls, or the different flavoured ones?
Linkara!Judas: Does this bug you? I'm not touching you...
Judas Traveller: The suffering I've known in my years on this earth, dwarfs anything in your pitiful existence.
Linkara!Judas: But I will not actually disclose what any of that pain was, because it hasn't been written yet.
Judas Traveller: Just the smallest taste of it... *Judas attacks Spidey with 'his pain'*
Linkara!Spidey: My god! It's so non-specific it hurts and explains absolutely nothing and it doesn't actually answer my questions- AAAAHHH!
- The Spidey writers have broke Spidey beyond repair a few times now.
- The fact that the title of the comic has nothing to do with anything in the story, and pointing out that it's just embarrassing that the comic keeps trying to make a connection between the two.
- "And now... Armageddon! But first, news and weather."
- The bad exposition:
Bad Exposition Guy: It appears to be a transpatial time vortex. It was not in the calculations.
Linkara as Bad Exposition Guy: I know what it is because... Well, I had to say it, or else the audience wouldn't know what the hell is going on.
- Linkara reminding us that all of this is stupider than it already is, as Judas isn't as all powerful and eternal as he says. "Hindsight's a bitch, ain't it?"
- "Well, at least someone understands Judas Traveller, even if it isn't the people writing him..."
- Linkara's assessment of Spidey's character:
Spidey: You can let him know that I'm really not all that hard to understand...
Linkara: Yeah, just be a boiling pot of barely contained angst... coupled with quips, and the inability to learn from your mistakes.
- The last part of the comic.
: And so, our comic ends with a reminder to me of One More Day
's idiocy, as Mary Jane reunites with Peter on the rooftop
2001: A Space Odyssey # 1
- When Jaeris sees that auxiliary command is an almost perfect replica of the 60's Enterprise bridge he gives this remark:
- This exchange as Jaeris takes the helm.
Jaeris: This looks simple enough.
Linkara: It's designed to be idiot-proof, please don't disappoint me.
- Jaeris's increasingly incredulous cries of WHAT?! He even interrupts the theme song!
- "My plans are never stupid! Now man the helm and set a course for the sun!"
- After Vyce takes control.
- While Jaeris mans the bridge, Linkara states that he is about to do a lot of boring circuitry work. "So, to entertain myself...i am going to review a comic book!"
- Cue Jaeris giving the camera a look that's both horrified and asking "Wait, what?"
- Linkara's imitation of Zardoz
Linkara: The monolith is good, the penis is evil!
- Linkara's Overly-Long Gag of picking out his new outfit.
- His reveal of said outfit getting interrupted by Alan.
- Then in the credits tell people they may now start complaining about how the show was better before he changed his outfit.
Showcase # 4
- The title card, which depicts an exhausted Linkara trying to keep up with Sonic the Hedgehog, The Flash, and Kamen Rider Kabuto.
- The commentary on the narration:
: What happens to the Fastest Man Alive
when he battles the slowest man on earth?
Linkara: He wins? Except even faster than normal?
Narrator: Is his incredible speed a help—or a hindrance?
: This gonna be like a tortoise and the hare kind of thing? Because my money's still on the fast guy.
Narrator: Now let's turn time back a short while when... Over Central City-
Linkara: Central to what exactly?
Narrator: -An unexpected storm rages—electrical bolts striking jaggedly in all directions...
Linkara: As opposed to those lightning bolts that are completely in a straight line or go at right angles to form a square.
- Lampshading the ridiculousness of not just one, but two characters gaining super speed via chemicals pouring into them while being struck by lightning indoors.
- "That lightning bolt tossed me around like a salad in a dressing of chemicals."
Police Officer: Glad you folks weren't hurt! That stray was fired by the Turtle Man — making a getaway!
: Damn those Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
! Ever since they discovered they could use guns, they've become villains, firing bullets wildly into the air!
Barry Allen: The Turtle Man? That's the criminal called "The Slowest Man on Earth"!
Linkara: Then why are you having such problems catching him? Are you guys just humouring him because you feel sorry for him?
: This is worse than that time we were jumped by that garden slug!
- The constant correcting of the bad science.
- "The turtle is terrible at being a criminal! It's so simple!"
- The fail logic:
: The reason why the slowest man on Earth didn't complete the crime — was that he was doing it two
stages! The second — after
everyone was off guard!l
Linkara: Weren't they already off guard by the hold-up? Wouldn't completing the crime later mean that they were on guard?
- Linkara realising that the Turtle Man's stupid plan — painting a silhouette on a wall and hoping that his enemy was stupid enough to run right at it — worked, and thus he can't make fun of it.
- Linkara citing the obvious problem with Barry calling himself the Flash:
Reporter: You certainly captured that character in a flash, mister! What did you say your name was?
Linkara!Barry: Oh yeah... Uh, how about the, ugh, the Human Race Car? Huh? Huh?
- The references to the New 52:
- Wally West is the man DC hates most at the moment.
- This little exchange:
Iris West: How exciting it would to meet a man like that! But I guess it's just an idle dream!
Barry Allen: Sometimes dreams come true, Iris!
Tales to Astonish # 27
- Linkara making remarks on how the ants on the cover are green and goes on to make an Alien Ant Farm joke while also touching on their crappy cover of Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal.
- Linkara mocking the tagline "The Man in the Ant Hill" about how one man is put through a sitcom situation where he has to date 200,000 female ants.
- After Hank shrinks down a chair, we get this from Linkara:
Linkara!Hank: Now I don't have to buy a doll house for my daughter's birthday! I can just shrink normal furniture!
- After Hank regrows the chair:
Linkara!Hank: And the upholstery is ruined!
- We also get this little gem:
Linkara: "Honey! I Shrunk the Chair" really wasn't as impressive a movie as they were hoping for.
- In the comic's science convention, Linkara jokes about how one scientist makes cybernetic armor for animals.
- As Hank continues to perfect his serum, Linkara jokes about how his experiments would put the shipping industry out of business.
- It even goes so far as to allowing one plane to ship a whole army:
- After Linkara tests out the shrinking potion on himself, he gets turned into a hand puppet.
- After Hank is saved by a lone ant, Linkara makes a joke about Hank being the The Beast Master.
- Hank gets caught by another ant after his escape from the ant tunnel and gets himself caught in the ant's mandibles, and proclaims he has a brain, in which we get this from Linkara:
- Hank tries to get a lone ant up to a ledge where his serum is hanging about and we get this:
- As Hank begins to regrow, Linkara tells the audience to "tell their own penis joke there", he knows they want to.....
- The "I AM A MAN" joke returns!
Linkara: I AM A MAN!!!! (punch)
Linksano: Oww! Who punched me in the face?!
Linkara: It was 90's Kid!
- The Stinger:
: I love how in older comics like this, they actually bothered to give a diagram of how Hank Pym's helmet was designed, as if you really needed one after the dude BENCH PRESSES AN ANT!
- The title card features Linkara being menaced by Flik and Z.
Showcase # 22
- The title card, Hal just punching Linkara as hard as possible with a slightly crazed look in his eye.
- His getting all the required stock jokes about Hal Jordan out of the way as soon as possible.
Journey Into Mystery # 83
- Linkara talks about how he loves the trend of titles with adjectives in them.
Linkara: I've really grown to love adjective titles in comic books. Uncanny X-Men! Mighty Thor! Amazing Spider-Man! I need one of those! ("The Brown Linkara" text fades in over his head; he looks up at it) Could we try a little harder on that? (text fades out; "The Behatted Linkara" text takes its place) ...We'll work on it.
- One of the rock aliens tests out the invulnerability of their bodies on Earth by jumping off a cliff.
Alien: Without the slightest hesitation, I jump, for I know that nothing on this puny Earth... (lands hard) ...can harm me!
Linkara: Oh, God, my legs have shattered into pebbles! This was a mistake!
- The newly transformed Thor wonders if he now has to just walk around all day as a god. "Eh, works pretty well for Tom Hiddleston."
- The Stinger, which features Linkara reading other messages that are on Mjolnir, including one written in crayon on the handle stating "Property of Loki and not Thor".
- Thor: The staff is changing shape! Linkara: It's becoming... a toothbrush? The hell?
- Linkara's line after Thor breaks free of his cage.
"Only invisible force-fields make a prison, haven't you guys seen my latest movie at all?''
- Thor: There's something written on the hammer! Linkara: Stop. *holds up Thor's hammer* Hammertime.
- The review opens with Linkara noting it's the most timely review, as "Thor: The Dark World, AKA Thor: The Somewhat-Poorly-Lit World" had just been released.
The Punisher: Silent Night