Funny: Atop The Fourth Wall 2009 Episodes
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10: Godzilla VS Barkley
11: Uncanny X-Men # 423
12: Uncanny X-Men # 424
13: Mr. T and the T Force # 1
14: Star Trek # 1
- All of Linkara's William Shatner impressions:
- "What do you mean...Starfleet's not going to...reimburse me for my ripped shirts any more?"
- "While I've got them, let me tell them about the...incredible...offers from Priceline.com."
- There's a moment in the comic where a fight breaks out and one of the participants falls into Captain Kirk as he's walking by.
Captain Kirk: Is it your intention to sit out this tour on my lap, Ensign?
Linkara: Is that an invitation, Captain?
15: Newmen # 1
16: NFL Superpro # 1
18-21: Amazons Attack
- Linkara reviews Amazons Attack: "Hello, Doom's IV? I'm sorry. I want you back!"
- In part two, when he does his trademark "I am a MAN!" and punches off screen. His hand inexplicably returns holding a teddy bear, causing him to announce "Bear!" in an ecstatic voice.
- Linkara completely snapping under the realization that the whole thing was just a tie-in to Countdown.
Linkara: [waving around bunny statue] Look at the pretty bunny, look at the pretty bunny! [breaks down crying]
- Just the entirety of his spaz-out during the review.
Linkara: [trying to cut his wrists with a gun] Why doesn't it work?!
- After he decides burying his face in a pillow is preferable to going on: "And yet somehow this is still more entertaining than the comic itself."
- Also, this exchange:
Aide in comic: D.C.
is in ruins.
Well, after this comic it
President: Yes! I killed a teenage girl! Why do other politicians seem to have so much trouble with it?
- Bees. My God.
- "Can someone please tell me what emotion Batman is expressing with that line? Confusion? Irony? Sadness? Anger? Acceptance? Disgust? Surprise? Anticipation? Contempt? Awe? Disappointment? Shame? Sympathy? Rage?! Oh, wait, that's me. Agony? Frustration? Apathy? It's apathy, isn't it? (Sighs) OK, you don't care, Batman, so we don't either."
- The plot breaking Pollo.
- "Yee-haw! Early retahment!"
- In his last Amazons Attack video, his musical Shout-Out to a certain drum-loving nutcase while mocking one of Circe's hammy Info Dumps.
- Linkara's response when Circe says that she used a piece of her soul in the resurrection of Hyppolita to turn her evil
Linkara: Free will? Load of crap, you're just born evil. *Beat* This is my CLUE STICK!!! (proceeds to hit the screen)
- "CRAP IN HEAVEN, HOW MUCH LONGER IS THIS?!" from Part 2.
- "Corporate accounts payable, Batman speaking. Just a moment. Corporate accounts payable, Batman speaking. Just a moment."
Sultry Teenage Super Foxes # 1
- "As for the cover itself, we have our four protagonists, who are apparently sultry, teenage, super, and foxes. I suspect that one woman's hair on the left is a fox, but I'm not seeing it with the others."
- "Um, Cindy, the comic's the other way, could you turn around?"
Narrator: July. It means summer heat and clear blue skies here at Rutgers Air Force Base.
Linkara!Narrator: August, on the other hand, means a filthy obscenity. And don't even get me started on what September means.
Linkara: Okay, don't say "cream" or "manhood" ever again, okay?
- His names for the characters which include "Girl with Hair from ThunderCats" and "Murphy Brown".
(NBC "The More You Know" logo appears
: Wait, wait, that was supposed to be the G.I. Joe
Offscreen voice: Eh, we'll fix it in post.
Linkara: You better! So now, back to our—
Music: ♪G. I. Joe!♪
Linkara: A little late for it!
- Upon seeing a sign labeled "French-style entertainment", he cues footage of Benzaie dancing.
- "And for some reason that just baffles the mind, the narrator then asks, 'Mommy, it followed me home. Can I keep it?' Oh no! The writer's having flashbacks back to their childhood! Take cover!"
Scientist: I mean, consider the transmutation of living tissue! Men into supermen! The power of creation could be in our grasp!
Narrator: Jasmine is now the bride of fire.
Linkara!Jasmine: This relationship is suffocating me! Literally!
23: Top 15 Worst Heroes Becoming Villains
- So, when your home city gets blown up by an alien despot, it can really ruin your weekend. To Hal Jordan it was, needless to say, the most traumatic thing that could conceivably happen to him. SO HE GOES ON A KILLING SPREE AND MURDERS EVERYONE IN THE GREEN LANTERN CORPS, COLLECTING THEIR POWER RINGS WHILE LAUGHING MANIACALLY, TO GAIN EVERY BIT OF THEIR POWER! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAA!!!
- Linkara's opening rant about the state of the world, growing in intensity and pitch and culminating with, "It just... it just makes you wanna... [Distorted Voice] DESTROY THE WORLD!!!" [*massive Scare Chord*]
- "Yeah, that wave of anti-matter that destroyed the universe was a pain in the ass to clean up the next day, let me tell you."
- 'Villains are a superstitious cowardly lot, so let me take in my cave to put them in tiny shorts to fight crime' * The Ambigulously Gay Duo*
- About Magneto's second kinda-Face-Heel Turn: “However, as is the case with comic continuity, Magneto supposedly died, but then it turns out that he just faked his death by impersonating a new character, and it was all some plan to Take Over the World and engage in hypocritical acts before he's killed again, but then it turns out it's not really him, and-the-character-he-made-up-was-actually-a-real-person-who's-still-alive-so-Magneto-was-actually-some-guy-impersonating-another-guy-impersonating-Magneto." (*Stunned Silence*) "And comic companies wonder why it's so hard for new readers to get into comics!"
- "The only thing to fear... is a giant yellow space bug that might turn you into a mass-murdering psychopath."
- Speaking about the retcon DC did on Monarch's identity: "Correcting our own mistakes! EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME ISN'T IT!?"
25: Daredevil # 305
Daredevil: Life turns cheap, then it turns up in the emergency room.
- After losing patience with Daredevil's noir-esque narration:
Linkara: Honestly, just imagine if I had some stupid narrator like that. It wouldn't be dramatic, it'd be annoying.
: He sits on his futon, green like the blood of a Star Trek
Vulcan. He thinks he and he alone knows the pain and suffering that results from- (Linkara shoots upwards with the Magic Gun, shutting him up
- He comes back to narrate the credits, at which point Linkara yells at him to get him a drink. He narrates that as well.
25: Daredevil # 306
Wolverine: Adamantium Rage
- Later, Linkara tries his hands of videogame in Wolverine: Adamantium Rage. Mid-way, he starts going batshit, using a variation his "I AM A MAN!" * punch* gag, with replacing the quote with "ADAMANTIUM RAGE!". He knocks Spoony out, and pretty much everything else... until he met The Angry Video Game Nerd.
Linkara: ADAMANTIUM RAGE!!!
AVGN: ''* punches Linkara in the face*
- And later, Linkara encounters Doctor Insano, and believes he's figured out his true identity.
Linkara: Wait a second!....You're That Chick With The Goggles!
Insano: ....I'm not fricking black!
Linkara: But you are a woman?
- At one point Linkara gets so frustrated that he decides to resort to cheat codes, upon which Spoony, who had up until then been sitting in the background playing a DS, calls him a wimp, so Linkara gives him a go. Spoony is gradually driven insane and tries to strangle himself with the laptop's power cord, finally resulting in this:
Spoony: Fine, you can use the fuckin' cheats!
- CHEAT CODES ARE STILL ENABLED
- "I heard that, Linkara."
- At the end of the review he says "This game sucks!" as he holds up one hand as though it's holding a real object. It's funny because it's not a comic, and it's funny because he doesn't actually own a physical copy of the game; he was using an emulator. But force of habit made him do the hand gesture anyway.
- "Brother, not mother. Idiot."
Warrior # 1
31: New Guardians # 2
33: Secret Defender # 9
- "The cover here is — AAGH, MY EYES!"
Doctor Strange: Why have you come to the house of DOCTOR STRANGE?
Linkara: And his name is in red and made huge, as if he routinely walks around talking about himself in the most dramatic manner possible. I wonder if he does this in real life, too.
Linkara!Doctor Strange: DOCTOR STRANGE demands his mocha double latte!
34: Secret Defender # 10
- The entire opening:
Linkara Well, let's dig into Secret Defenders #9 and and I'll show you.
(Cut to Linkara holding a Dogbert plush in one hand, a sword in the other
Linkara: Of course! The bombs were secretly hidden in the coconuts the entire… the entire…
Linkara: I'm sorry, I just can't do this.
Phelous: (cocks a gun) Wait, what? What's the matter?
Linkara: Phelous, this is an important episode. Everyone loves these "previously on" segments and this is gonna premiere the theme song! But what I'm being told is that we could only spring for one guest star.
Phelous: Yep, well… everyone's been pretty busy since the Brawl. Hell, I can really only give you five minutes.
Linkara: But how is this gonna look to the fans? "Oh, he can only bring in one other guy! Clearly Channel Awesome is trying to shun the stupid comic book guy."
Phelous (looking at watch) Uh huh, yeah… whoops! Sorry, Linkara, time's up.
: Yeah, well, you know how it is, especially when I have to film Street Fighter
comedy. (grumbles and stomps off, spouting Angrish
Linkara Phelous! Dude, dude, I'm sorry! It was a joke, man… (sighs) Pollo, you wanna come here and save my bacon?
Pollo: You just leave me out of this.
(Linkara slumps back on the futon)
Narrator: And now, the con—
Linkara: Aw, shut up!
36-39: Countdown to Final Crisis
- At the beginning:
Linkara: (face in hands) I don't wanna' do it! I don't wanna' talk about it! And I don't wanna' review it! (takes face out of hands) But noooooooo, you people insisted! You just had to keep asking and requesting and demanding that I review this series! Weeeell, fiiiiiiine, you want a review, I'll give you your friggin' review!
- Forager taking off with Jimmy Olsen, sans pants, and Linkara's awkward response thereto.
- "COUNTDOWN, STOP KILLING EVERYONE!"
- "Do I even want to know what she's gonna do with that staff?"
- Every single time he does Superboy-Prime's whiny fanboy voice: "I don't want this Earth, bring back my Earth! Everything was better on my Earth! THEY'RE RUINING EVERYTHING!! I'll Kill You!! I'll kill you to DEATH!"
- His nicknames for Superboy-Prime, which include "Stupidboy-Prime", "Spasticboy-Prime", and "Stupidbitch-Pansy".
- The entire "Previously On" segment to the second part of the Countdown review. Whoever decided to have the BUM, of all people, control all the world's nukes was having a very good brain day.
- What made that whole segment, though, was the fact that it was a string of unconnected plots that had nothing to do with each other. It was extremely convoluted as well. And after all of that, the "Previously On" segment is capped with "And that whole thing STILL made more sense than Countdown!"
- "Damn it, [Donna,] stop pointing out the Plot Holes; that's my job!"
- His fear that many fans will knowingly say "This comic is Re-Todded."
- The whole "We should ''do'' something!" "Should we ''do'' something?" joke.
Linkara: YES, YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHING, YOU BORING IDIOTS!
- Thank You Monitor! But Ray Palmer Is In Another Castle!
- Linkara's reaction to the Source Wall writing a message on Jimmy Olsen's steamed bathroom mirror.
Linkara: Ewwww. The Source Wall is pervy.
40: Xena # 1
- When comparing the bland Xena cover to a flawed, but still more dynamic Amazing Spider-Man issue from the same month:
: On the Xena
cover, you have this: "Oh, a bodybuilder pose. How fascinating.
" On the Spider-Man
one, you have this: "Holy crap! Impossible Spine Lady— yeah, I know her name is Stunner, no need to comment on it—is holding Spidey by the neck while Dr. Octopus's mechanical tentacles are looming in on them and…" Wow, it really sounds like I'm describing a hentai comic, doesn't it?
Man in comic: Incredible. A single human that has all ten of the known endowments…
Linkara: Wow. Three panels in and they're already making a boob joke.
: (facing away from the people he's talking to
) She'll kill us all before long!
Linkara: (with his back to the camera) I don't like fools who face people when they talk to 'em.
Xena: I'm no murderer… I simply punish… the guilty!
: By killing them without due process! (Beat
: So Xena frags them all, and again, going off about justice and the law and stuff. You know, I don't need some crappy indie comic to do this. I can just watch that awful Sylvester Stallone
movie version of Judge Dredd
and get the same thing.
(montage of Stallone as Dredd shouting "I am the law!")
- And right after it:
: Oh yeah, that was the end of the comic. And wow, what a comic, eh?I can just see the advertisements they must've made. "Never before will you learn so little about a character
!" "The blandness just sizzles
off the page!" "She likes to watch… and that's not nearly as exciting a concept as you'd think it is!"
- Next, when reading a preview comic from another work by the same publisher:
Luxura: I am the vampiress Luxura. Some of you may have missed my first appearance in '"Vamperotica'' #1.
: Hi, I'm Troy McLuxura
. You may remember me from such comics as Boobula
and Interview with the Vampire Pornstar
- His final word on the comic: "But hey, at least it isn't Countdown!"
41: Cable # 1
- After the latest indication of the evil to come from ancient Egypt, he cuts to a picture of the pyramids with the Imperial March playing.
- At the end of that review, he's interrupted in his final diatribe of "this comic sucks!" when Linkara-as-Cable bursts in demanding an explanation. Linkara throws a magnet at him to defeat him, then picks up Cable's gun and says "Sweet! New gun!"
- After a particularly convoluted series of flashbacks: LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!
- "Cable — Time's up!!" "You lose 200 points, and control of the board goes to the next player!"
43: Batman: Fortunate Son
- During Linkara's Batman: Fortunate Son review, he flips out and rants about how people who overuse the term 'selling out' are a bunch of naive idiots. This doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome as well.
- "Punk is nothing but death...and crime...and the rage of a beast."
- Linkara's laughter right after that is also incredibly infectious.
- While critiquing the art, he proclaims "I mean, it's about as convincing as this!" while dressed in the absolute worst Batman outfit ever.
- It Makes Sense in Context:
) What the Funk 'n Wagnal does that
- Linkara reading Crowe's lines with his Superboy Prime voice.
- "Lots of people see things when they're on drugs! When I'm on drugs, I see Bea Arthur!" *beat* "You should probably forget I said that."
- Review Cigarettes! A review in every puff! This comic sucks.
- *picture of Robin looking like an old man* "Gah! What's wrong with Robin?! Batman, do something!" *picture of Batman looking very Off Model* "Bwahahahaha, oh thanks Bruce, I needed that."
44: Air Raiders # 1
- While reading Air Raiders, Linkara comes across the phrase "great disaster" and freaks out over Countdown to Final Crisis again. He runs off, only to walk back onscreen and say "I knew I should have put a window there."
- "Um, look, guys, I think Spaceballs was joking about that "canned air" thing..."
45: Nightcat # 1
46: Blood Pack
- "Cut to women in their underwear. Ladies and gentlemen, the reason this comic was made!"
- "Superheroes are part actors, part boxers." "Part actors, part boxers. Hmm. Always knew Mr. T was a superhero."
- "@$#!! cameras everywhere!" "Paris Hilton finally fights back!"
- "Teenage girls love rebels." "Really, they love rebels, huh? Well, if this guy [picture of Edward from Twilight] constitutes a rebel, then Marlon Brando is spinning in his grave!"
- At one point, he refers to the character Ballistic as "Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever".
- "Huh, five idiots with superpowers, talking about recycling. This is just Captain Planet with an even more boring story."
- "This computer — no binary code I've ever seen — almost alien!" "My God, it's Linux based!"
48: Mickey Mantle # 2
- "Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Woo woo woo!"
- "Minnesota once again here to save the day... MINNESOTA!"
- After the final hit by Mickey Mantle, as the triumphant music plays: "WOW! He did it! He hit the ball! He did it! They held the tension for all of one splash page! They did it! And I still don't care!
49: Adventures of the Kool-Aid Man # 1
- Linkara starts his review of a comic about The Kool-Aid Man with a horrified "WHY???"
- "The Kool-Aid Man sees you when you're sleeping. (leans in closer) The Kool-Aid Man sees you in your nightmares."
- The entirety of the review is pretty hilarious, especially his attempts to grasp the logic behind the Kool-Aid Man's world and his enemies.
50-52: Silent Hill: Dying Inside
- Defeating Pyramid Head by putting him in a Pokéball. Wonder if that will come in handy later...
- This gem from Part One when Troy Abernathy is being overly emo:
Troy: Another raging success story. And the only thing I want, she can't give me.
- Asking for the title card music to be replaced with something as far away from Silent Hill as possible, since the comics have nothing to do with the series. Cue "Footloose".
- Part Two of his review of Silent Hill: Dying Inside opens with an extraordinarily well-done pastiche of Silent Hill 2, with Linkara as James, 90s Kid as Maria, and Harvey Finevoice as Eddie. And more Ninja-Style Dancing!
- His reaction to an unknown assailant interrupting the painfully annoying villain with a baseball bat: "It's Mickey Mantle! He's come to save us!"
- Linkara doing his own parody of Phantasmagoria: A Puzzle Of The Flesh. That is all.
- "Damn it, Insano! Stop goofing around for two seconds and put Spoony on the phone!"
- In the "Worst Ending" from the Silent Hill Alt Endings video, Linkara gets stuck in Phantasmagoria 2 and tries calling several numbers for help. 90s kid has an... interesting answering machine, Batman rants at him about rock music, and his call to Spoony gets Dr. Insano instead.
- The "UFO Ending," which features "Fly Me to the Moon"... sung by Harvey Finevoice. (The inevitable Evangelion flashbacks just make it even more hysterical) And then the credits get to the stinger text at the end, which is usually just a sentence or two, but this time is several paragraphs of ranting about the Fridge Logic inherent in the premise of Silent Hill 4.
- His parody of the Silent Hill 2 opening in the Dying Inside review. Especially 90's Kid as Maria and Pollo as Laura.
- His reaction to this line:
Christabella: Hey, Doc. I'm feeling all tingly in BAD PLACES. You know what that's all about?
Linkara: What in the hell is up with this comic?!
53: Maximum Clonage
- His one year anniversary review of The Clone Saga is one of these:
- His musical renditions of padding.
- When seeing Spidercyde's outfit he just starts laughing: "Perhaps the Jackal left his cloning tube in the sun too long."
- After revealing that it was originally planned for Mephisto to be behind the clone saga: "But the writers decided that Mephisto had absolutely no place in the Spider-Man universe. Yeah, hindsight's a bitch."
- "Do a little dance... make a little clone... get down tonight!"
- "The man responsible for our genetic future, ladies and gentlemen, with all the charm and personality of a 9-year old."
- "By Diehard's Crotch, what is up with that lady's face!?", "You guys look like Bratz dolls if they grew up!"
- His voice for the Jackal that sounds like The Monarch
- This little gem:
Peter Parker: Should I really trust a jackal?
Linkara: I don't know, Peter, maybe I should- (Pulls out a cane) HIT YOU WITH MY CLUE-STICK! (proceeds to hit the screen)
- His psychotic breakdown during to the final issue.
- Especially him trying to slit his throat with Pyramid Head's knife.
- "Go, web, go! :D" *throws slinky*
- I AM THE WALRUS GOO GOO G'JOOB! *punch*
- "I see the way you're acting like somebody else gets me frustrated."
- "Fully baked!? What are clones made out of cookie dough!? You just slap a cookie cutter on a big mass of flesh, pop 'em in an Easy Bake Oven and wait two hours!?
- After Jackal "decides to do a little dance":
Linkara: (singing) Do a little dance... make a little clone... get down tonight!
- After Punisher claims to be able to shoot Jackal through Spider-Man and ends this claim with "I can, you know!"
: (as Punisher)
I totally can! What, you don't believe me when I say I can? You don't think I can? (Beat
, sad) Nobody thinks I'm cool anymore...!
- Also, The Stinger:
The Jackal: WHEEEEEE!
54: 22 Brides # 1
55: All-Star Batman and Robin #1- 2
- Reading Frank Miller's descriptions of Vicki Vale in a deep voice. Complete with a caption assuring us that this is the actual script.
- Crazy Steve, that is all.
- Whenever he narrates the characters repeating the same sentence over and over again. Something about the way he says it leaves me dying.
"I'm on a date with Bruce Wayne!"
- "You've been drafted into a war. And you had better not be a fan of rock and roll!"
- The cover for Superhero Innuendo Monthly, featuring the headlines "Diehard and the reason we want him fighting crime for us!", "Hal Jordan's new look: Yay or nay?" and "This and every other issue: Penises!"
- This obvious, yet funny reference:
Vicki Vale: I hate the country. I hate bats.
: We can't stop here. This is bat country.
- Another obvious but funny one:
Bruce Wayne: There's no way out.
: There is no way out of here. It will be dark soon. There is no way out of here.
: It'll be dark soon.
- His constant riffing of the comic's repeating dialogue.
Vicki Vale: It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense.
Linkara: Vicki, I know it doesn't. Vicki, I know it doesn't.
Narrator: Vicki Vale. Columnist. Bearing witness.
Linkara: Lewis Lovhaug. Comic book reviewer. Bearing the pain of this comic.
- Linkara wondering if anyone would narrate their life like Batman does in the comic. As a melodramatic, brooding narration voice suddenly interrupts him, Linkara promptly picks up a stick.
Linkara: (pokes the off-screen narrator with the stick) Shut up, ya hippie!
Brooding Narrator: Aw! Hey! Stop poking me!
- "So sleep tight, punk." "Punk is nothing but death... and crime... and the rage of a beast."
- "I'm the goddamn Batman!" "Ladies and gentlemen, we have an internet meme!" (cue The Price Is Right theme)
- This exchange:
Batman: Who the hell do I think I am?
Linkara: You're the goddamn — screw it, you knew where that was going.
- Linkara's giggling in response to Dick's "lameass Clint Eastwood impersonation" line, before playing a quick Batman Begins montage.
56: Doom # 1
58: Bimbos in Time # 1
- The intro to the review. Him pinching his sinuses, flatly stating the comic's title, and rolling to the credits.
- When showing footage of the movies made by the same director as the Bimbos in Time movie. A mulleted man gets attacked by a Zombie and Linkara yells "No! Not Jeff Foxworthy!"
- "Tim Curry?" Cue obligatory Sweet Transvestite joke.
- "Why is everybody in this comic a f*cking bimbo?!?!?!?!"
- "Of course! Don't you know anything about sci-"
- Linkara severely overthinks one character.
Linkara: "And she's the niece of Sherlock Holmes! ...Wait, does that mean Mycroft Holmes had a daughter? ...Why am I thinking about this?!?"
- "And I am the walrus, koo koo ka-choo!"
- Linkara repeatedly listening to music on his headphones to avoid having to read the comic.
- Linkara's response to one of the comic's "attempts" at "humor"
- Linkara's reaction to the "it's in my contract" joke - staring at the camera (apparently comatose) while the sad trombone plays.
Linkara: *shakes head* Sorry, must've slipped into a brief coma, was there a lame joke? Okay.
- Just the way he says "I had a dog named Ashley onec", before the Typo Counter immediately goes up.
- "By the way, this comic was a donation—AND I STILL FEEL LIKE I WAS RIPPED OFF!"
- "What looks like a nuclear explosion occurs. And for a second, there's that fleeting hope that maybe they're all dead and the comic's over. Especially when I see that one of the sound effects is 'poop'."
- His confused reaction to "I know so you Bimbo!!", resulting in the Typo Counter adding "???" to the end.
59: The Dark Knight Strikes Again Part 1
60: Extreme Super Christmas Special # 1
61: James Bond Jr. # 3
- Saying all of James Bond Jr.'s lines in a Sean Connery impression just to make them sound even more ridiculous.
- And then there's Linkara wondering why James Bond's nephew is called James Bond Jr.
- "Getting shipped to Peru in a tank does seem a bit far-fetched." "Geez, you know it's bad when the characters admit that the premise is weak."
- "Wow! Grass! We don't have anything like that outside the woods."
- "The James Bond Jr. Show will be right back after this ad for expensive crap you don't need."
- "Russian? French? German? Tommy Wiseau?"
62: Top 15 Missed Opportunities of AT 4 W