Arthur is one of those rare cartoons that manages to be kid friendly, yet bubbling underneath, it has a wicked sense of humor. It's not surprising that there are so many examples in the children's series section.
In general, when D.W. isn't being a Bratty Half-Pint or causing people to bang their head against the wall, she is a walking CMoF most of the time. Case in point, every one of her lines from "Arthur the Wrecker", where she repeatedly worries about Mom getting mad at her and Arthur for accidentally breaking her computer.
This rather infamous scene from "D.W. the Picky Eater":
D.W.: (picking up undesirables from her salad) Cucumbers, yucky. Mushrooms, yucky. Onions, yucky AND smelly. Hey....this isn't lettuce! What kind of a saladISthis?!?! Arthur: (looking at the audience) .....uh-oh, she's gonnapop! D.W.: This is SPINACH! Waiter: IIIIIIiiis something the matter? D.W.: This is spinach.....and I!HATE!!!SPINACH!!!!!!(she repeatedly bangs her fists on the table and then her fork pushes down on her plate and sends the bowl on it in the air, landing on the waiter's head) Crowd: (gasps) (Beat) D.W.: Uh-ooooooooh......! Waiter: THAT'S IT, I QUIT! Jane: (bracingly) Dora! Winifred! Read!
The fricking dang whole "Crazy Bus" song!
CRAZY BUS. CRAZY BUS. RIDING ON THE CRAZY BUS. RIDING UP. RIDING DOWN. AND DRIVEN BY A FUNNY CLOWN.
This show's treatment of The Odyssey uses it for the Sirens' song.
Arthur getting knocked on the head with a basketball in "Play It Again, D.W."
"Double Dare": The whole opening with Arthur explaining to the audience how big catastrophes can occur from the smallest incidents.
Arthur: Like how a guy no-one ever heard of records a song in his bathroom, and it becomes... (cut to Imagine Spot of D.W. singing "Crazy Bus" in the living-room, as a deranged-looking Arthur sits on the sofa with two cushions over his ears.)
Arthur: Stop it. Stop it before I go crazy and EAT THESE CUSHIONS!
"Pick a Car, any Car": Jane Read fantasizes about having a two-seater convertible to herself, and leaves her family in her dust.
In "Arthur Makes a Movie", where the gang tries to make a James Bond-ish type movie, they shoot a scene in the library where The Brain ("IQ") is pretending to put in a code to stop a missile. He's typing at a library computer with Arthur ("James Hound").
Arthur: You've got to hurry up, IQ! The missile will hit in ten seconds! Camera pans to librarian at desk Librarian: I don't know what's wrong, Ms. Turner. The computer won't let me check out these books! Ms. Turner: I guess we'll just have to do it by hand. Back to the kids The Brain: According to my calculations, the last digit should be a 1 or a 2. But which is it? 1 or a 2? He presses a button, and then all the lights go out. Arthur: ...I guess it was a 2.
And later in the episode, it shows Brain trying to fix the lights, with Buster being very unhelpful.
The Brain(from inside a closet): There! Did that make the lights go on? Buster: I don't know, it's too dark to tell! Get it? (bursts out laughing) Too DARK to tell? (notices Brain giving him a Death Glare) No, still off, keep trying!
From S1's "Arthur and the Real Mr. Ratburn:"
Buster: Arthur, we have to choose: face horrifying scary danger...or do our homework. Arthur and Francine: HORRIFYING SCARY DANGER!
The increasingly crazy rewrites in "Arthur Writes A Story."
The Aardvark Rap. What makes it funnier is Arthur's dance, culminating in the "Arthur Roll", where his dad joins in. (His dad also joins in the rap.)
In "Arthur's Chicken Pox", D.W. is sitting on the couch playing with a toy telephone when an advertisement comes on the TV saying "pick up the phone. That one right there on the couch. Order this Genuine Imitation Leather Cowbell."
At the end of "Arthur's Birthday", no one can break the pinata. Mr. Read decides to give it a try, but also fails. Determined, he hits it with a hammer, but still nothing. Finally, when everybody else is enjoying the party inside, Mr. Read has taken the pinata outside, while revving up a chainsaw.
Arthur trying to wheedle his way out of a family vacation.
Arthur: If I'm old enough to take out the trash, aren't I old enough to choose my own vacation? Jane: You didn't really think that was gonna work, did you? Arthur: It was worth a try, wasn't it? Jane: That's an idea, though... (Arthur gasps and looks up hopefully) Jane: You could take out the trash! Arthur: Aw!
In "Brother, Can You Spare a Clarinet?", Binky is sent to the principal's office for not bringing his clarinet to school. He tells the principal he's a doofus. The principal then, looking through the student files, says, "There's no A Doofus here."
Fern's title card, which simply shows her silently scribbling out a story on her desk, compared to the more "exciting" title cards of the other characters. Fits perfectly with her introverted personality.
In "Sue Ellen's Little Sister", Sue Ellen gets SO bored by Arthur looking at his trading cards that she lets out the funniest snore ever.
In "Sick as a Dog", Pal steals D.W.'s hot dog. She was holding it below her waist, and her voice actor is a boy.
D.W.: The dog's got my weiner! The dog's got my weiner!
A bit of dialog between Francine's dad, the kids' team coach, and Binky:
Mr. Frensky: Remember, if you win the game, I take you all out for ice cream! And if you lose- Binky: You drive us to the outskirts of town and leave us there? Mr. Frensky: Nope! I still take you out for ice cream. Binky: Aw, man. I'm never gonna see the outskirts of town.
Funnier when you consider he could've just asked Arthur what they looked like. The episode "Lost" has Arthur riding to the city limits by accident.
From "Germophobia", after Buster is declared a slob:
Arthur: Haven't you ever been sick? Bitzi: (in thought bubble) No school for you today, Buster. Buster: (dreamily) Yeah... Arthur: Okay, wrong question.
The Love Ducks from "That's A Baby Show". Every time they are on TV. So weird, yet appealing in a way.
"My Music Rules", is worth watching just for D.W.'s lines:
D.W.: Do I have any choice in this? Jane: None whatsoever. D.W.: (feigned enthusiasm) Oh boy, a concert.
D.W. tells Yo-Yo Ma (to his face) that she thought that the concert would stink, and was pleasantly surprised.
She also misconstrues "Yo-Yo Ma" as "yo mama". It was practically gift wrapped.
"Arthur is a dodo brain!"
In "Dad's Dessert Dilemma" there's Ratburn's increasingly flimsy excuse of "I thought you might like the spring reading list- oh are you having cake?" culminating in him randomly showing up at Arthur's house for it.
In the episode's intro, David greets the audience and tries to call for Arthur.
David: Oh hello, are you looking for Arthur? Arthur! He must be doing his homework. *scene cuts to Arthur in the kitchen stuffing his face full of cookies*
David proceeds to tell the audience about his "misunderstood experiments" all of which result in Arthur and D.W. going "bleah"!
In "Draw!", Ms. Sweetwater follows Ms. Tingley throughout the school, playing her guitar and singing to cheer her up.
The "The Giant Slime Who Came to School" comic, especially when Buster eats said giant slime mistaking it for lime.
"Mom and Dad Have a Great Big Fight", Arthur and D.W. fear their parents may be getting a divorce and worry that they will be abandoned. Cue Oliver Twist-inspired Imagine Spot.
Arthur: We have to avoid going to an orphanage at all costs, especially one set in the 1800's.
From the same episode, D.W. gives us what is quite possibly the greatest comeback ever.
D.W.: You...You wear glasses!
To which Arthur retorts with,
Arthur: Mom and Dad are not fighting because I wear glasses.
Binky: Once me palms were so sweaty, I dropped me clarinet on me big toe. And I've got the scar t' prove it!
Ratburn: (firmly) Binky, International Talk Like a Pirate Day is over.
Binky: (disappointed) Okay.
One episode featured this gem from D.W., who was talking to Arthur at the time:
D.W.: Some people see the glass as half full. Other people just have glasses.
The episode "Desk Wars" starts out with Arthur in class attempting to introduce the show, but an argument breaks out amongst his friends (who should be the host of the show?):
At one point, Binky can be heard yelling, "It's called the Binky Barnes Variety hour! And anyone who doesn't like it can walk!".
Mr. Ratburn takes over the introduction, and offers to take the viewer to the teacher's lounge to show how adults (unlike kids) don't fight over trivial matters. In the teacher's lounge, we see:
Ms. Sweetwater: I didn't move your cheese! Principal Haney: Yes you did! Mr. Marco said so! (both of them look angrily at Mr. Marco, who tries to look innocent) Ms. Krasny: Alright, who hasn't been washing their coffee mugs?! (Mr. Ratburn closes the lounge door and looks at the camera, laughing nervously)
The 'Parents Night' episode, when Mr. Frensky is shown falling asleep during a presentation at the last parents' night, and wakes up yelling "Forty-four! Is that correct?". Francine has an Imagine Spot where he does the same in Mr. Ratburn's class, and Mr. Ratburn makes him write lines on a chalkboard.
Also, Sue-Ellen's Imagine Spot where her mother shows up in an elaborate dress and everyone laughs at her.
The Tough Customers trying to figure out what Binky's big secret is in "I Wanna Hold Your Hand". They eventually conclude, incorrectly, that it must have something to do with his upcoming clarinet solo. "Maybe he's playing something really romantic, like Debussy."
The revelation in "The Great MacGrady" that Muffy is so sheltered and pampered that she actually doesn't know how to do dishes by hand, believing that she can get the job done simply by squirting some dishwashing liquid on a sink full of dirty dishes.
Everybody dropping glass after someone utters a curse word in "Bleep".
Ratburn: "Muffy, nice work, although your reference to embroidery as 'Pilgrim bling' felt inappropriate." *smiling*
Carl's well-intended assessment of George's drawing in "When Carl Met George":
George: What do you think of my drawing? Do you like it? Carl: That's brown. I hate brown.
Towards the opening of "D.W.'s Library Card", D.W. is with Binky at a table in the library and he's reading to her from a biography about Frederic Chopin, the famous romantic composer. Arthur approaches, telling her to quit bothering Binky, and D.W. objects, saying that Binky was reading to her about Chopin. Binky quickly covers the biography with a book featuring a cover with a picture of a guy doing a karate kick and says that he was reading about "Choppin'", a karate master. Arthur leads D.W. away and Binky goes back to reading his Chopin biography.
In 'Bitzi's Break-Up', Buster has an Imagine Spot where his mom gets a new boyfriend, a boring telemarketer. He comes out of the dream yelling "I hate Martin Spivak!", and Arthur, very confused, asks "Who?".
Grandma Thora: I was just starting on (cleaning the attic) when your dad begged me to - um, when I decided to invite you over!
Another gem from Thora, in "Arthur Loses His Marbles", she has him polish the floor as part of his marble training to extend his reach, but mutters under her breath that the floor hasn't been waxed in years.
In Arthur's Perfect Christmas, Binky keeps trying to make cookies or other desserts, but keeps making stupid mistakes like making banana bread but forgetting to peel the bananas. (writing) "Peel... bananas." This culminates with Binky appearing in a fantasy sequence in which Arthur being teased for being a doofus and he shows up and starts shouting "Doofus! Doofus!"
Arthur: Binky? What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be in this fantasy!
In the episode where Buster sells chocolates for a school fundraiser, he tries to resist eating them. Then one morning, he wakes up realizing he ate the chocolate in his sleep. What really made it priceless was his scream that followed.
When D.W. is investigating who took her snowball in "D.W.'s Snow Mystery", she is told to recall what happened just before it got stolen. She remembers Grandma Thora came over, and proceeds to tell the story as if Grandma Thora favored her over Arthur. Arthur obviously contests this, and it sounds almost convincing...and then he adds in a bit where Grandma Thora says about D.W. "Give me some aspirin, she's giving me a splitting headache!" Grandma Thora recalls both of them as angelic children, but the best account has to be Mrs. Read's — she imagines them making crazy noises and horseplaying up to the front door. It has to be seen.
The Beatles references in "The Last Tough Customer", especially the song they sing.
"D.W.'s Baby": When D.W. is trying to get Kate in trouble, because of jealousy.
Dad: GAH! How did my new shoes get in the dishwasher!? DW: Kate did it! I SAW HER. Dad: (beat) D.W., go to your room and think about what you just told me.
Brain is sitting under a tree, trying to create some sort of plan that will get Muffy into trouble, after he and Francine accuse her of bribing the judges so she could win a science contest. Arthur goes over to confront him about his changing behavior.
Brain: Have you ever realized how frighteningly easy it is to manipulate someone into doing whatever you want? Arthur: Brain, you're acting kinda weird today... Brain: (with a crazy look on his face)AM I? MUAHAHAHA! Arthur: :| Brain: (still laughing)
In "Binky Rules", anytime Buster used that detective lingo:
"Hey gopher ball, what do yo know about this shenanigag on Binky?"
"Brain, you know your goulash, slobber a bid-full or Binky's gonna clutch the gummy!"
"Hardly, foo-foo. I do my best noodle-work at high altitudes."
The parody of the Mystery! opening at the beginning is hilarious, especially because it uses the real theme.
Arthur imagining that D.W.'s vacation choice would be to "Ponyland" in "D.W.'s Deer Friend". He is sitting in a chair surrounded by kids and ponies dancing in a circle singing the Ponyland theme over and over.
Arthur: MY BRAAAIN IS MEEELTING!!
In S1's "D.W. Gets Lost", the public address system is a fountain of hilarity:
"Welcome to All-in-One Mart! The store big enough to swallow your town!" "All-in-One Mart values all our customers. But if you break something, you bought it. Tough luck!" "Today's special in our sportswear department: pre-worn sneakers for lazy people." "If you've lost your child, come to our lost child department. Located behind the toy department. And on the way, why not buy a new toy for that poor, frightened child that you lost?!" "Attention all shoppers: free samples all day at our water fountain." "Big sale in our book department: books without vowels now half price!" "Who needs expensive air conditioning when army surplus jet turbines are on sale in our wind department?" "Who doesn't like the satisfying flavour of fresh, warm carbonated milk? The late night drink that lulls you to sleep and burps you, too!" "Don't forget today's sale on chocolate-covered cabbage. It's the dessert that makes you go 'Blecch!'" "Right now in our free sample department, everything is half price."
From S15's "Buster the Lounge Lizard", when Mr. Ratburn confronts Buster over the Dark Buggy toy he brought into the classroom, he accidentally causes it to fire a suction dart at the ceiling, hoist itself up, and... deploy a spinning coloured light ball accompanied by disco music.
S1's "Arthur's Substitute Teacher Trouble" has two similar funny moments:
Near the beginning of the episode, Mr. Haney delivers the news to Arthur's class that Mr. Ratburn has laryngitis and will be out for the rest of the week. As soon as he leaves the room, the entire class begins cheering; Mr. Haney opens the door again and glares at them, and they immediately fall silent and try (unsuccessfully) to look innocent and absorbed in work.
At the end of the episode, when Mr. Ratburn returns early, the students, having been driven almost insane by the mind-numbingly easy work given to them by Mr. Ratburn's sister, begin cheering, complete with flag-waving and hat-tossing (said hats including a top hat, a straw hat, and a graduation cap).
The moment at the start of "D.W.'s Imaginary Friend" when Dad accidentally throws a bowl of salad at Arthur and it's about to land on him when all of a sudden it freezes in mid-air.
Anytime Mr. Ratburn interacts with computers.
In Best of the Nest, two of the game's goose characters (Silly and Plain Goose) resemble Buster and Arthur who play as them respectively.
On the drive to the campsite, Buster said his mom made him stop playing since it would ruin his eyes and then mistakes Mr. Ratburn for Prunella.
At the end, Francine states that neither she or Muffy won the game since the only way to scare off a bear is to "Do the Hokey Pokey". Binky finds that solution ridiculous. A bear can be heard roaring in the distance. Binky immediately starts doing the Hokey Pokey and everyone else joins in.
From "The Ballad of Buster Baxter" where Art Garfunkel has a guest appearance. He follows Buster and his friends around, singing songs and strumming his guitar, acting somewhat like a Greek chorus. No one seems to notice him, until one scene in particular, which shows Buster watching TV in his chair, feeling depressed because he believes his friends have changed while he was away. Then Art Garfunkel pops in...
Art: (singing cheerfully) "He's a sad, sad bunny! A sad, sad bunny! TV isn't funny when you're a sad, sad, bunny! Yee-haw!
Buster: "Hey! That's not very sad music!"
Art: ''(singing slowly and sadly) "He's a sad, sad, bunny... a sad, sad, sad, sad, bunny..."
And the ending:
Arthur: "Moooommmm! There's a singing moose in front of the house!"
Buster mistakenly reading "Director" as "Dr. Ector" in "Elwood City Turns 100!"
This bit from "Buster's Breathless":
Binky: (pretending to suffocate) Can't breathe! Tell the nurse! I think I have plasma!
Buster: Don't you mean asthma, Binky?
Binky: Stupid words, too many consonants all smushed together.
Also from "Buster's Breathless":
Binky: (watching Buster use his inhaler) See? He's not sick at all! He's just playing the kazoo!
And then later on...
Binky: So does that mean you don't have to use that kazoo anymore?
The best part is, Binky says this even after finding out Buster is using an inhaler and not playing the kazoo.
Binky's obsession with bananas in "How the Cookie Crumbles".
In "D.W'S Very Bad Mood," Arthur tells his friends at school that the previous night, D.W. slammed so many doors he thought the family would get arrested. Cut to an Imagine Spot of a show titled Tantrum 911, where a SWAT team is called in to deal with D.W.; she begins throwing a tantrum as they try to read her rights. When the spot is over, Binky says in awe, "Cool! When is that gonna be on?"
The entire movie is hilarious, but some lines stand out, most of them spoken by Arthur when he's particularly drunk.
"I think I'll have another scotch; would you like another fish?"
"Oh, you're a hedge."
"Steal something casual."
(Notices someone with a Nice Hat) "Nice (continues walking, gets about five rows further) hat."
All of Arthur's speech when announcing that the wedding has been called off.
Susan: "A real woman could stop you from drinking." Arthur: "It'd have to be a real big woman."
And all the comments about the stuffed-and-mounted moose head on the wall at his fiance's father's mansion.
Arthur: You must have hated this moose.
Apparently there were a ton of different takes of this scene, with Dudley Moore playing off the moose a different way each time.
This exchange between Linda and her father.
Ralph: I take it this bum will be calling you?
Linda: Dad! He's a millionaire.
Ralph: You have my permission to marry him.
The scene of when Susan's dad grabs a knife from the cheese in an attempt to kill Arthur and Linda.
Ralph: (deliriously) He's taking the knife out of the cheese...do you think he wants some cheese?
After a conversation with Hobson about being more responsible and looking after himself: "Would you just remove the half naked business woman from the underside of my bed?"
The table saw scene.
The police officers knowing Arthur by name.
Arthur's habit of people spotting from the bathtub and giving people hilarious descriptions.
Susan punching Arthur in the face in the chapel after he decides not to marry her.
After using candy as a euphemism for his alcohol addiction around a group of kids, a child asks Arthur if he means drugs. Or meth. Or crack.