Characters / Father Ted

Father Ted Crilly

Played by Dermot Morgan

Father Dougal Maguire

Played by Ardal O'Hanlon

Father Jack Hackett

Played by Frank Kelly

  • The Alcoholic: Only appears to be sober once every twelve years or so. Whenever he does run out of booze, he'll drink whatever else he can find, including Toilet Duck and floor polish.
  • Ambiguously Bi: A skirt-chasing horndog who in one episode climbs naked into bed with Bishop Brennan (albeit while sleepwalking), later wakes up, smiles at Brennan and then goes back to sleep still in the bed with him.
  • Badass Grandpa: Played for laughs. He's capable of punching Ted so hard that he's blown out a window.
  • Badass Preacher: A really really bad example of one sure, but Jack is still a priest. And he's certainly a tough man.
  • Berserk Button: Do not even try to take his precious drink away from him.
    Ted: Don't drink that, father! That's-
    Jack: [Spits it out] FECKING WATER!
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: He is not a smart man in general, but he is incredibly knowledgeable when it comes to alcohol. He can recognize brand and VINTAGE just by the sound of the clinking bottles.
  • Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys: Inverted. Do NOT disparage the French around Father Jack. Incidentally, Father Jack always stands for "La Marseillaise" and insists, in his usual way, that those around him do the same.
  • Child Hater /Friend to All Children: Has been said to be both of these depending on the episode.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Being both senile and perpetually drunk (and implied to be somewhat Ax-Crazy at the best of times) this is to be expected. "The Plague" gives us this gem while in "Hell" Jack gives us this.
  • Dirty Old Man: Has dreams about wet tshirt contests and teenage girls playing volleyball.
  • Einstein Hair: His hair is as wild as he is. Except when Ted cleans him up for some visiting bishops.
  • Ephebophile: If his dreams about taking the girls in the convent school for topless volleyball practice are any indication.
  • Extreme Omnivore: Will literally drink almost anything, including Toilet Duck and floor polish. The only liquids he won't drink are tea and water.
  • Evil Mentor: Its referenced in one episode that one of his former students, who claimed to be inspired entirely by him, grew up to cause a massacre of some sort.
  • Fighting Irish: The most violent member of the cast, generally getting him angry (or annoyed) results him in attacking everything in his path.
  • For the Evulz: As Ted put it, when ever he would hurt or assault anyone it wasn't out of anger (except on occasions it was) it was cause "he found it funny."
  • Friend to All Living Things: But only for a short period during leap years.
  • Go Mad from the Revelation: "DON'T TELL ME I'M STILL ON THAT FECKIN' ISLAND!"
  • Gonk
  • Grumpy Bear: Is almost never in a good mood, the closest you can get is when presenting him with unnatural quantities of alcohol.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Going within punching distance of him is ill advised.
  • Hidden Depths: After much coaching, Ted manages to get him to learn the phrase "That would be an ecumenical matter" to use in conversation.
  • Hulk Speak: Almost never speaks in sentences consisting of more than one word.
  • Jerk Ass: He won't be helpful at best and at worst, will physically attack people for slight infractions.
  • Large Ham: Even when he isn't fully shouting, he's bombastic.
  • No Indoor Voice: Comes with the fact that most of his dialogue is shouting single words.
  • Not Quite Dead: After drinking floor polish, he only appears to be dead temporarily.
  • The Pig Pen: Not only is his personal hygiene suspect, but it spreads to the chair he sits on and the wall behind him. In fact, he gets hairy hands because Dougal fails to disinfect his chair.
  • Secretly Wealthy: Turns out he has £500,000 in his bank account, which he leaves to Ted and Dougal in his will. Of course, given the fact that drinking floor polish only leaves him Not Quite Dead, it's unlikely that they'll ever see it.
  • Sinister Minister: As shown in flashbacks, even before his alcoholism he was pure fire and brimstone preacher who terrified his students with threats of damnation and personally dished out regular beatings. Played for Laughs obviously.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: Given that about a quarter of his speech is the word "feck", this definitely applies.
  • Super Senses: Zig Zagged. Sometimes he's deaf, other times, he can identify alcohol by the sound of clinking bottles alone.
  • Super Window Jump: Tends to do this a lot. Gets lampshaded in the Christmas special, where Ted has had plexiglass installed to stop him doing this.

Mrs. Joan Doyle

Played by Pauline McLynn

  • All There in the Script: Her first name.
  • All Women Are Prudes: She's very critical of Polly's romantic novels.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Has an obsession with tea and housework. She even burns the furniture when Ted is going to leave for America.
  • No Name Given / Last Name Basis: Her first name is only revealed in the original scripts.
  • Sarcasm-Blind: Has trouble understanding Father Jessop's sarcasm.
  • Spot of Tea: Absolutely obsessed with making tea (amongst other things). When being demonstrated a Tea Master, she is told that it takes the misery out of making tea. She states that maybe she likes the misery.

Bishop Len Brennan

Played by Jim Norton

  • Badass Cape: Not even Vader's cape can billow like Brennan's.
  • Badass Grandpa: Is easily able to rip doors off their hinges or shatter them with his bare hands, and is capable of kicking Ted 20 feet in the air. Jack can still kick his ass though.
  • Badass Preacher: A corrupt Bishop, but a Bishop never the less. Also don't get him angry.
  • Bad Boss: Doesn't exactly hold Ted, Dougal or Jack in high regard.
    Brennan: And Crilly? If you ever try to bullshit me like that again, I will rip off your arms.
    • Though on occasions when Ted seems to injure himself, he often shows sincere concern (unless its him whose hurting Ted).
  • The Dreaded: Especially against Ted (simply cause Ted is the only one smart enough to understand how intimidating he is). Ted even takes advantage of this, and is almost successful when he "kicks his arse", because he is supposedly too afraid of Brennan to actually do it, so the Bishop assumes that he can only have imagined it.
  • Dirty Old Bishop: Has a secret son in America and has been carrying on affairs in secret
  • Do Not Call Me Len: "You will address me by my proper title, you little bollocks!"
  • Jerk Ass: He's thouroughly unpleasant. Even the Craggy Island cinema owner refers to him as "that gobshite".
  • Jerkass Has a Point: He doesn't hold the main characters to high standards, but he has legitimate reasons of disliking them with Ted stealing money from the church, Dougal being Lethally Stupid and Jack being a perpetual drunk and a skirt chaser.
  • Kavorka Man: Despite being an old bishop, he's seen sharing a bath with an attractive young woman and has a secret son in America.
  • Large Ham: Overpronounces the R in Rome amongst other things.
  • The Rival: Word of God says he's this to Jack, rising to the position of Bishop where Jack failed.
  • Sinister Minister: Greedy, lecherous, corrupt, violent and an aggressive. Basically he's a terrible Bishop.

Father Dick Byrne

Played by Maurice O'Donoghue

  • Evil Counterpart: To Ted
  • Hidden Depths: His Song For Ireland entry is surprisingly good. So good, in fact, that it causes Ted to panic and go for a smoke.
  • Jerk Ass: He's even more of an asshole than Ted.
  • The Psycho Rangers: He even lives in an identical house to Ted.
  • The Rival: To Ted
  • Similar Squad: Not only is he an evil version of Ted, his companions are exactly like Dougal and Jack as well.

Father Noel Furlong

Played by Graham Norton

Father Larry Duff

Played by Tony Guilfoyle

  • Bald of Awesome
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Believes that his fantasy of owning rabbit was unrealistic, so he gets a pack of rottweilers instead.
  • Iron Butt Monkey: Almost every time Ted phones him, he suffers some form of injury or misfortune. Yet he's still going by his next appearance.

Father Paul Stone

Played by Michael Redmond

Father Fintan Stack

Played by Brendan Grace

  • Beard of Evil: Brendan Grace provides a huge beard for the role.
  • Jerk Ass: Ted reckons he's worse than Adolf Hitler. You wouldn't catch Hitler playing jungle music at three o'clock in the morning.

Father Todd Unctious

Played by Gerard Mc Sorley

  • Bald of Evil: He's the villain of the Christmas special with a shiny bald head.
  • Dressing as the Enemy: Parodied. He actually is a priest, but steals another priest's clothing for no real reason.
    Father Todd Unctious: It just seemed to be the way things were going.
  • Sinister Minister: Is a thoroughly greedy and corrupt thief, but he is still also a priest.

Tom

Played by Pat Shortt

Pat Mustard

Played by Pat Laffan

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Characters/FatherTed