It seems the only explanation for how someone so utterly unqualified could have become a priest: his mother threatened to go to the papers, and to avoid a scandal young Dougal was fast tracked through the seminary.
I'm about 50/50 on the chances that Bishop Brennan is Dougal's real father.
- Do the words "You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks!" ring any bells?
- No such luck - the proper title for a bishop in Ireland is "Your Grace".
- I dunno, he did state in Grant Unto Him Eternal Rest that both his parents were dead. Of course, this is Dougal we're talking about.
- Or maybe his mother kept the truth from him and claimed that his father was dead.
- Maybe they both just told him they were dead. He'd have fallen for it, he really would.
- Or maybe Ted is his real father, he does act like a father to him, lampshaded in The Old Grey Whistle Theft. And Ted's real father is Jack!
- And Mrs Doyle could be Dougal's mother. She certainly treats him like a child (she even bathes him), and Ted seems very jealous when Pat Mustard steals Mrs Doyle's heart... One big happy family.
That diabolical laugh with the trophy in the Christmas Special? Completely genuine. He's an evil mastermind who plays Ted expertly through Obfuscating Stupidity. Being sent to the island is all part of his Evil Plan to take over the world.
- Something that reinforces this is that whenever Dougal is in actual physical danger, he tends to be a lot smarter, such as in "The Mainland", when they are trapped in the caves and Ted winds up the thread his jumper had been spinning (thus stopping them from fining their way out) as he looks on in horror.
Following on from above. The whole "Why not knock loudly?" thing in "Cigarettes & Alcohol & Rollerblading" seems to suggest this.
His behaviour throughout the series is that of someone completely detached from the real world—with Ted even having to draw him a chart describing the differences between fantasy and reality—and moreover Dougal's thoughts and words do occasionally conform to reality and to varying degrees. In addition, many of his behaviors throughout the show are not outright stupid but just plain weird and nonsensical. He only became mentally ill sometime in his adult life, after becoming a priest.
...and the series is set in the In Nomine universe, probably a Bright Low Contrast game. He lost an Ethereal Force in celestial combat and became the madman we know today, but retained a massive amount of Corporeal Forces. His stranger shifts may be the product of willing Kyriotate possession.
- Wait, so if you fiddle your expenses in heaven (i.e. the Dublin parish) you get sent back to purgatory? Our (English) MPs are fucked!
- What if Ted , Dougal and Jack were never priests while they were alive and having to live like priests is their punishment in Hell.
Could it be that the two characters are one and the same? By the end of The Snapper, George Burgess has left his wife and is presumably homeless. Perhaps he fled Dublin and changed his name in order to escape the scandal that he had knocked up a girl, and so that he could continue his womanising lifestyle, and eventually ended up on Craggy Island? After all, 'Pat Mustard' does sound a bit like a pseudonym. The two characters have similarly selfish, obnoxious, horny personalities, although Pat Mustard is slightly more cartoonish and exaggerated, in keeping with the style of Father Ted. Considering the similarities, it's hard to believe it's all coincidence; the writers probably cast Pat Laffan because they had already seen him play this sort of role, and knew he could play it again. The actor aged between The Snapper and Father Ted, which fits with the idea that several years have passed between the two. And, as an additional link, Irish actress Rynagh O'Grady plays a minor character named Mrs O'Leary in The Snapper – she is best known, of course, for playing the recurring character of Mary O'Leary in none other than Father Ted.
Incidentally, this theory would mean that the other films in Roddy Doyle's Barrytown Trilogy – The Commitments and The Van – also take place within the Father Ted universe.
- Mrs Doyle's name may well come from Roddy Doyle as well, plus Ted asks Dougal "Have you been reading those Roddy Doyle books again?". Also, Mrs Doyle mentions Mr Doyle very briefly before deciding not to elaborate further.
- Wouldn't the existence of Roddy Doyle books in a verse written by him either be a Celebrity Paradox or this WMG being Jossed?
- Well Garth Marenghis Darkplace did it.
- Considering what happened the one time Dougal did a funeral, which leads to a hearse on fire inside a grave, this is highly plausible.
- This may also have to do with the fact that we barely see any parishioners at all throughout 3 series apart from pensioners, which, as any Irish person knows, is Truth in Television for small Irish town on the Wesht Coast. In the first episode, Ted tries to work out Mass schedules, and he gives Mass to the nuns in "And God Created Woman", but by series three his parochial duties seem to have fallen by the wayside. Why? Because the Craggy Island population is quite old, meaning most of the inhabitants are too old and infirm or too far away from the church (depending on Craggy Island's nonsensical geography) to attend Mass, with the exception of John and Mary, who tend to be fairly busy and make fewer appearances later on, suggesting they either died or left, and Tom, who doesn't exactly seem the Religious type.
- When asked what Dougal's duties are around the parish in "Speed 3", Ted can't actually answer.
Where did he learn his fighting skills? Why does he feel compelled to stand whenever the Marseillaise plays (and make everyone else stand)? Where did he learn to identify wines by sound? ("Jacob's Creek Chardonnay 1991!") (Okay, stretch there.note ) Maybe it's all from his service in the Légion étrangère. His age is approximately appropriate (assuming Jack's meant to be at least a decade older than Frank Kelly) for World War II, in which Ireland was neutral.
- Or, another explanation which would fit with his darker nature, he was one of the fanatical rightists who joined the 33rd Waffen Grenadier Division of the SS Charlemagne (1st French).
- One priest alluded to Jack being Polish.
- Have to scrap that one. He was complaining about how Jack should have been pope instead of a polish man. Pope John Paul II was Polish.
- Maybe he fought in the Pacific, which could explain his description of the rabbits in "The Plague" as "hairy Japanese bastards!"
- He could easily have been a chaplain for some army unit or another: smiled-upon by the main body of the church in terms of religious support, but with the opportunity for senseless violence.
- If it's in the In Nomine universe (See Father Jack is a Soldier of God, above), Dougal could well be a demon of Dark Humour. It would explain a lot.
- Following this, Ted gets promoted to Bishop to fill the vacancy (the allegations of financial misconduct are cancelled out by his being awarded a Golden Cleric, preventing the plane from crashing and talking Father Kevin off the ledge). Following his demotion, Brennan gets sent to Craggy Island. Ted, being Ted, will use his new authority over Brennan and Dick Byrne to dish out some long-awaited revenge...
- Ted's promotion might be canon, given that a musical sequel entitled Pope Ted is in the works with Ted becoming the Pope — or at least, it was in the works until producers pulled the plug after Graham Linehan began expressing controversial views regarding transgender people.
- And his grandmother Nana is the devil - her terrifying statement that she knows "what they're up to" indicates she could be a supernatural being.
- Alternatively, Father Stone might be a physical manifestation of the guilt they feel that won't go away due to the actions that brought them to Craggy Island. The legend of "This Man" also features a character with thick eyebrows and a solemn expression, who has appeared in some peoples' dreams when something was troubling them. Whether they knew about this (it has been mainly spread by the internet) or not is unknown.
- And his grandmother Nana is the devil - her terrifying statement that she knows "what they're up to" indicates she could be a supernatural being.
- Mrs. Doyle is no more obsessed with offering nourishment to or trying to take care of friends, relatives and acquaintances than the average Irish Mammy/Auntie, as any Irish person could tell you. The reason the series is so popular is because it's very accurate. This troper has had money literally shoved into their hands (and then snatched away by parents who try and give it back) by relatives for birthday money as a child, and witnessed two female relatives struggling to pay for the cups of tea and cake first many, many times. Think of it as a form of taarof.
So, could this movie be some sort of behind the scenes look at what the two did before becoming priests? One can definitely see how Sean's involvement with the protests might have caused him troubles with someone powerful, and sent him down the dark path we all know.
Or maybe (and even better) a more realistic reconstruction of what exactly brought the two to be exiled on Craggy Island? It would explain how Ted turns out to be surprisingly knowledgeable about bras in the Christmas special, and would give his daydream fantasies that appear in a couple of episodes in season one a whole new meaning - sure, not Las Vegas, but one can imagine him making up details to make his small escapade sound more glamorous, and possibly pocket the money he didn't spend for the flight.
As for why their names are completely different in the movie and the series, while it's not too usual for priests to change name when they take the vows (it's usually much more common for nuns), it's also not unheard of.
- Father Ted - His greedy acts (including the incident involving the kid who wanted to go to Lourdes) as stated in the show.
- Father Jack - Lust is the pretty obvious one, given that he apparently once had a dalliance with a nun and definitely had at least an interest in leering at teenage girls.
- That said, he does manage to get Bishop O'Neill to renounce his faith.
- Building on that, Ted and Jack are infiltrators sent from other, similar organizations... only for the Catholic Church to catch on and send them to Craggy Island for it.
Mary is a lesbian and is in a relationship with a Greek woman, which Mrs Carberry disapproves of.