Complete Monster Cleanup

Uh and their not meant to be the norm either? Their just a sugestion.

"That's right mortal. By channeling my divine rage into power, I have forged a new instrument in which to destroy you."

I mean, Fighteer may have been the original person to bring Johnny up, but he didn't go into as much detail as other discussions, it would appear.

So, does anyone have a link to an explaination for why it's not mitigating for Johnny?

The First man

I just noticed the entry on Mr. Hopp's Playhouse YMMV page was edited even though it hasn't been 2 weeks since the last installment's release and I don't remember seeing the person who changed it to discuss it on the thread first.

Edited by CapitanoNox on Mar 27th 2023 at 12:15:35 PM

Huh. I noticed earlier the grammar for the Redwall cartoon's Slagar's entry was altered from my writeup — I wrote "Matthias' sword" but the post reads "Matthias's sword". I thought that was a first-come first-serve matter?

Edited by Arawn999 on Mar 28th 2023 at 1:38:36 AM

Oh, shit, you're right, that's my bad. I forgot that rule.

CM Dates; CM Pending; CM Drafts

Fan Works and Sonic the Hedgehog Fan Works both have the same image

REALITY IS AN ILLUSION, THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM, BUY GOLD BYEEEE! | She/Her

There's an ongoing Image Pickin' thread for the Fan Works page, though I can't link to it right now

—signature not found—

Here.

CM Dates; CM Pending; CM Drafts

Feedback for the Tint suggestion?

Oh, Mr. Kennedy, you entertain me. To show my appreciation, I will help you awaken from your world of clichés.

I like it.

CM Dates; CM Pending; CM Drafts

Found this entry on To Boldly Flee YMMV page.

• Complete Monster: Mechakara, just like in his source series. He passes himself off as Linkara and infiltrates the USS Exit Strategy, intending to kill the crew with the help of the forcibly assimilated Todd and Nostalgia Chick. Only working with others when his goals coincide with theirs and perfectly willing to kill them when they don't, Mechakara is fueled only by his hatred for Linkara and all organic life forms.

I am not sure if the entry has been approved, but it certainly could be improved a bit.

Mechakara’s actions in To Boldly Flee are already included in his approved writeup.

I guess that means it should be restored to the original version? I'd save everyone the trouble and handle it myself, but I can't edit the Monster/Redwall page.

Then I think the first sentence could be altered akin to:

• Mechakara is just as malicious as in his source series and adds new crimes to his list.

Edited by DukeNukem4ever on Mar 28th 2023 at 10:26:57 AM

Abstain on Wulgaru, to Tint rewrite and Mechakara change.

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It's currently still 2v2 won whether or not all the changes I proposed to the five CM entries are necessary with four tropers in total having provided feedback. A fifth troper's feedback could break the tie here.

In the meantime, I'll provide a somewhat watered-down second attempt and see if the thread finds it more satisfactory. Original's here, if anyone wants to compare.

I've focused on fixing grammar and spelling errors and source material inaccuracies with the below redraft, although I still really feel there's some wording and sentence cruft, particularly in the Lord Commander's and Goth's current official CM entry, that is too vague/non-descriptive or too awkward to just leave as is.

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• Avatar: The Last Airbender: Fire Lord Ozai is the power-hungry tyrant of the Fire Nation seeking to wipe out all resistance to his rule, even children. Ozai obtains the throne through manipulating his wife Ursa to help murder his father Azulon, and then banishing her, on the pain of death, without letting her see her children again. Ozai controls all aspects of his family's life, limiting their freedoms and encouraging their worst traits just to please him: he punishes his son Prince Zuko whenever the latter shows kindness or mercy, going as far as burning his face and banishing him for speaking out of turn; he encourages his daughter, Princess Azula, to be a perfect, merciless weapon for the Fire Nation, only to cast her aside when he no longer needs her. When faced with open rebellion in the Earth Kingdom, Ozai plans to use Sozin's Comet to incinerate the entire continent and rule from the ashes as Phoenix King. A horrible father and a brutal dictator, Ozai represents the very worst of Fire Nation imperialism and Avatar Aang's ultimate test to stay true to his pacifist ideals.
• Final Space: The Lord Commander is a tyrannical overlord bent on becoming a godlike being and ruling all dimensions. Throughout the series, the Lord Commander continually demonstrates his madness, whether by ordering Avocato to annex Ventrexia by force; ordering his lieutenants to kill their firstborn children as a display of loyalty; or corrupting almost the entire Infinity Guard to his cause. He lures his enemies into a prison planet, then tries to force a possessed Little Cato to murder his adoptive father Avocato, culminating in the latter performing a Heroic Sacrifice when the Lord Commander plants a sticky bomb on his son's back. The Lord Commander then traps Mooncake in a laser machine which painfully forces him to create a portal to Final Space, causing the Earth to be sucked into the other dimension. Resurrected by Invictus, the Lord Commander is revealed as the one who had Avocato murder Little Cato's birth family, before he betrays his master in favor of merging with a Titan incubating in Earth's core to gain immortality; destroying what's left of the planet from the inside, before killing numerous Titans, including the heroic Bolo.
• Silverwing: Goth is a giant cannibal bat from South America. Captured by humans, he's been sent to lab in a North American city for study. After escaping the lab, he begins to kill owls and birds, which General Brutus blames on the Silverwing bats, causing him to persecute them. Goth kills an owl that was trying to kill Shade and then pretends to be Shade's friend; saying he will protect Shade's colony, when he really plans on eating them all once Shade leads him to them. Shade discovers Goth's true nature after Goth devours a Brightwing bat. Later, Goth and his brother-in-law Throbb eat a coven of bats and take the metal bands they were wearing as trophies. When Shade and Goth are trapped in a mine, Shade suggests they work together to escape, but makes Goth promise to allow him and his friends to live, a promise Goth instantly reneges on when he is out of danger. Near the end of the series, Goth teams up with the Wolves to take over the forest and goes on a killing spree against the owls to fulfill his part of this deal.
• Terminator: Disappointed that its machines are unable to destroy the resistance, Skynet captures humans and infects them with machine-phase matter in an attempt to turn them into its newest Terminators, leading to many of them dying in insanity. Tricking humans into believing they destroyed it, Skynet takes the form of a human disguise named Alex and infiltrates the resistance, killing everyone except John Connor, whom it transforms into its new Terminator and brainwashes to serve Skynet. Sending Connor to the past to create an operating system known as Genisys, which makes people too reliant on technology, Skynet plans to use the new system to completely destroy humanity.
• Tolkien's Legendarium: Azog the Defiler, leader of the Orcs, is pledged to wipe out the line of Durin. To this end, he beheaded King Thrór, and then severed Thráin's finger. After Thorin Oakenshield cut off his arm, Azog vowed to gain revenge on the Dwarf by any means necessary, putting a bounty on his head. It's revealed that Azog slaughtered the Skinchangers by raiding their lands, then caging and torturing them for his own amusement; leaving Beorn as the Last of His Kind. Upon taking command of Sauron's armies, Azog decides to target innocent civilians in order to distract his enemies and gain an advantage, intending to exterminate the peoples of Lake-town, Mirkwood, Erebor and the Iron Hills all at once. When Thorin rides to Azog's command center to kill him, Azog has Thorin's nephew Fíli brought to him and then kills him in front of Thorin, taking sadistic glee at the moment.

Edited by Derv0sB2 on Mar 28th 2023 at 1:57:36 AM

Again, I fail to see the issue with the originals. Like with the LC's entry, I don't see any vagueness there. Granted it's because I watched the show, but it still looks like fluffing an entry up.

Edited by AustinDR on Mar 28th 2023 at 2:09:23 AM

Just noticed that Lack of Empathy and Inuyasha have the same page quote

REALITY IS AN ILLUSION, THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM, BUY GOLD BYEEEE! | She/Her

I don't recall a rule being cited that didn't allow for overlap but if there is, there has to be a quote that fits the former without including near genocide of Japan.

Azog at least I wouldn’t mind a slight rewording. The current entry reads a tad awkward (“ pledged to wipe out the line of Durin even though they had done nothing to him” in particular feels like an unnecessary detail).

Barring the various counts of grammar, tense, and misinformation about what objectively happened in the work...

• Lord Commander:
  • "or overseeing the construction of a laser designed to expand a breach in space-time"^note This sounds more Mad Scientist than necessarily heinous to anyone unfamiliar with the source material. Without any mention of the planetary threat the act poses to Earth, it's like listing "Bob fired his Breath Weapon" as a CM act and those five words being its entire beginning and end. And the LC's actions with the Final Space breach are already detailed in a further-away sentence, so there's no need to give a bland and non-explanatory reference to it here.
  • "forces him to create a portal to Final Space, which caused the Earth to be sucked into it."^note Wording doesn't make it clear to a reader what the "it" that Earth is being sucked into is.
  • "the Lord Commander is revealed as the one who had Avocato murder Little Cato's birth family, before betraying his master in favor of merging with a Titan incubating inside the Earth's core to gain immortality."^note Sentence structure makes it sound like LC betrayed "his master" (it isn't clear without context that it's the same Invictus who's presently resurrected him) at the same time that he had Little Cato's biological parents assassinated in the past; unnecessary and confusing linkage. The last three words in this extract also create misconstruction as to the LC's motives: he merged with the Earth Titan to achieve his lifelong ambition mentioned in the CM entry's first sentence, yet this wording makes it out to have had a separate motivation entirely. Also, cutting down a word or two to make this sentence less of a mouthful that shifts its primary emphasis from one topic to another without a break can't hurt.
  • "After succeeding, the Lord Commander destroys the planet from the inside, before killing numerous Titans, including the heroic Bolo."^note Incorrectly makes it sound like the LC deliberately shattered Earth after becoming a Titan, rather than it being a byproduct of his becoming a Titan in the first place which he simply didn't care about, again creating issues of mis-reporting the character's heinousness. I'm also honestly sceptical that his killing of Titans besides Bolo deserves to be mentioned in CM, since all their deaths except Bolo's was solid Evil Versus Evil.
• Goth:
  • "Goth kills an Owl trying to kill Shade, a Silverwing bat."^note A single sentence which fails to explain how or why that act is in any way worthy of mention, given what the owl in question was currently trying to do to Shade. Doesn't link the act up to Goth's subsequent effort to manipulate Shade at all.
  • "Goth pretends to be Shade's friend, saying he will protect Shade's colony, but he really plans on eating them all instead."^note Leaves out the detail that Goth was befriending Shade solely with the aim of manipulating the boy into unintentionally delivering his own family to their grizzly deaths, which seems like an important and noteworthy detail of heinousness. With the current sentence's wording, anyone unfamiliar with the source material could misconstrue this as "Goth wants to eat the colony because he's mentally lethargic and hasn't think ahead to consider his new friend's feelings" rather than "Goth is a manipulative psychopath who only befriended Shade for this purpose".
  • "Shade discovers Goth's true nature, when Shade discovers..."^note Sounds like it's referring to two characters with the same name instead of one.

Edited by Derv0sB2 on Mar 28th 2023 at 3:14:14 AM

This currently up on YMMV.Marco Polo:

• Complete Monster: Jia Sidao, season 1's Big Bad, is the Evil Chancellor of the Song Dynasty. He is first introduced brutally beating the army's general in front of his soldiers before killing him upon hearing rumors that he was insulting his style of kung fu. He also shows utter distain for the Mongols, and when he hears Empress Dowager Xie Daoquing was trying to negotiate a peace treaty with the Mongols, he has her and those who agreed to it murdered, along with her already dying husband, so that their son could become emperor, someone easier for him to control, thus leading to him becoming the true ruler of the empire. With his influence, Sidao has every Mongolian village near the Song Dynasty capital, Xianggang, destroyed, with their people all killed. He also holds his sister's daughter hostage so that he can blackmail her to go assassinate the Mongolian emperor and empress. When he finds out she failed to kill them, he tortures her daughter by binding her feet and threatens to kill her if she fails again. When the Mongols attempt to invade Xianggang he uses gunpowder to attack them, with the entire army massacred, causing the Khan to retreat. When the Mongol army succeeds in breaching the walls in their second attempt, Sidao finds Marco Polo, the man who orchestrated this siege, and he makes him suffer, before trying to kill him.

And here is the EP.

What the EP fails to mention is that the guy in question visibly cries when the concubine who betrays him kills herself out of shame. I don't think you can just brush that off as sorrow of being lied to. He clearly cared about her on some level. That's what that scene is trying to convey. I feel like he should be cut posthaste.

Edited by jjjj2 on Mar 28th 2023 at 7:02:37 AM

You can only write so much in your forum signature. It's not fair that I want to write a piece of writing yet it will cut me off in the mid

Snip snip, great catch j!

Cut Jia.

Cut Jia