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Tropers / SkyCat32

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Hi. I'm Sky.

I draw things and obsess about pop culture.

I also write.

I'm actually a dude.

  • Bandit Joke: A bandit is trying to escape from the jammed window of a house he has looted. He hears a raspy, shrill, creepy voice. "Big Brother is watching." The bandit ignores the voice, and continues struggling with the window. The voice repeats itself: "Big Brother is watching." The bandit turns around, turning on his torch. A little green Macaw repeats his annoying ominous warning: "Big brother is watching" The bandit responds with an irritated whisper: "Oh yeah? Who are you, smart beak?!" The parrot responds: "I am Orwell, the bird of the house." The bandit laughs, then jeers: "What kind of dork names his parrot 'Orwell'?!" Not missing a beat, the bird responds: "The same dork that named his Pit Bull 'Big Brother', comrade."
  • Brussels Sprout Joke: A girl sat down in a High School cafeteria to her favourite lunch of Brussels Sprouts, when suddenly, a big mean boy walked up to her, looked at her right in the eye, grabbed a handful of sprouts and shoved them in his face, maintaining eye contact while he chowed down. As her eyes begin to well up with tears, he sneers, then mockingly says "you can never have too much vegetables." He grabs another handful, shoves them in his piehole, chokes, and has to be rushed to the hospital. When the girl later learns that her tormentor lapsed into a coma, she comments, "I guess he was right. You really can never have too much vegetables."
  • Dixon No. 2 Joke: Sheila Dixon embezzled from a charity to buy PlayStations for her cronies. When I heard this story, I was of two minds: On the one hand it's rather unfortunate that a respectable office stationery company has to share a name with a corrupt politician. On the other hand, it's actually kind of fitting that she is named Sheila Dixon, because she's a real NO. 2.
  • Sky-Diving Joke: An elderly Jewish woman wants to go sky-diving for her 101st birthday. Her daughter tries to convince her to have a more age appropriate affair, but to no avail. She complains to her husband. "Why can't my mother choose something more sensible to do on her birthday than potentially breaking every bone in her body? I would hardly think that it is age appropriate for a hundred and one year old woman." Her husband sighed before he replied; "Zeeskeit, no offense, but there is no such thing as age appropriate for your mother; it would literally kill her to act her age."

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