- First off, yes there is a Bond parody episode (and a sequel episode to that) called "Tearjerker" where Roger plays a character named Tearjerker, but that's not what we're talking about here, though the movie he produced in the first episode, while deliberately over the top depressing, IS pretty tear jerking in its own right.
- The films that Roger's persona Tearjerker produced. The first film, Oscar Gold, was about a mentally retarded alcoholic Jewish kid whose cancer-ridden puppy dies during the Holocaust. The other? Six hours of a baby chimp trying to revive his dead mother! Considering those films were deliberately designed to get audiences to cry themselves to death...
- This brief moment from "Pulling Double Booty" when Hayley is outlining her three-way with Stan (posing as his body double) and a waitress (though it is more funny than depressing, it does get a little sad when you realize that once upon a time, Stan really did love Hayley and wants her to be the sweet, obedient girl she used to be).
- "Weiner of Our Discontent", when Roger realizes that he was sent to Earth as a crash test dummy and not on some important mission and goes through a month-long depression (though it can be argued that Roger deserved it because of his rude behavior — which spanned from the 1950s to the present — before discovering his true intentions of being put on Earth).
- Francine facing the facts that Steve is growing up and moving on in "Iced, Iced Babies" (until Steve comes home crying over Debbie breaking up with him and Francine's creepy, "You can stay with Mommy. Forever" line).
- "Man in the Moonbounce", where Stan has silly, carefree fun for the first time in his life, then breaks down sobbing. Hell, that whole episode, and the revelation that Stan's father leaving meant that Stan had to forego his own childhood to look after his mother, which probably played a big role in turning him into the emotionally stunted jerk he is in adult life.
- Stan being Driven to Suicide in "Every Which Way But Lose", saying that he's a big fat loser who doesn't deserve to live because he lost one game in life.
- Stan's Best Friend: The story of how young Stan was forced to kill his dog because he thought he had a terminal disease (Turns out it was because his mom was moving into an apartment that didn't allow dogs or cats. Rabbits, however, were only allowed on a case-by-case basis). Even Stan said the story was so sad, that he wasn't going to undercut the flashback with a joke.
- The entire episode is a Tear Jerker with Stan being determined to keep Kisses, the family's new puppy, alive after it gets critically injured by a group of pirate cats that crushed it with their hot air balloon's basket. The vet tells the family that Kisses would not last much longer, but Stan refuses to let Kisses die, so he puts the dog on life support, and then decides to steal Kisses from the hospital, taking him to a non licensed veterinarian to keep Kisses alive. She does so, but winds up making Kisses a complete freak that barely resembles a dog and seems to be in even more pain than ever. Steve spends several scenes crying his eyes out seeing that his new pet is on the verge of death.
- The biggest tearjerker comes from Stan slowly accepting the fact that his puppy will never be the same. Stan tries to ignore his dog's suffering, but he then sees his old dog from his childhood in a dream that tells him to let Kisses go because the poor puppy isn't a puppy anymore and can no longer do anything that a dog loves to do. Stan tearfully agrees and decides to put him out of his misery. But Stan being Stan, he decides to blow up Kisses with TNT.
- Klaus on the brink of tears after Roger rudely tells him that he's not a pet because nobody loves him.
- The subplot from "Delorean Story-an" parodying The Tortoise and the Hare. A bit of careless driving by Stan leaves a sleeping Steve leaning out of the car, causing his head to hit a running hare (named Andy). We then see a tortoise approach the now dead hare and cry, saying that he always respected him. The tortoise then decides that he and the hare should finish the race together, so he drags the hare's corpse down the road.Tortoise: OH, GOD! Oh, no, no, I wanted to win, but not like this! Oh, we had different approaches sure, but I always respected the hell out of you!
Tortoise: We did it, Andy! We did it, old friend!
- The episode ends with the tortoise dragging the hare's mangled body over the finish line before breaking down crying.
- Stan not winning the respect of his neighbors in "I Can't Stan You". While Stan is a Jerkass for most of the time, he just wants to be loved.
- The subplot with Lindsay dying from staph infection after breaking her leg in soccer on "Adventures In Hayley-Sitting".
- National Treasure 4: Baby Franny: She's Doing Well: The Hole Story puts a depressing new light on all the previous Francine-centric episodes where she either tries to find a career or some new form of fulfillment beyond what she has. Because she was saved from a well when she was younger, and a firefighter died though not really so she could live, Francine's previous attempts at jobs and careers were all to prove that her life really was worth saving. She's felt that she's done nothing with her life, meaning that firefighter died for nothing and it's on her head.
- The flashback of Roger's most memorable moments on "Naked to the Limit: One More Time" when Roger is about to go back to his home planet (in the end he doesn't but it still hits home) set to Suicide is Painless (best known as the theme song to M*A*S*H, both the movie and the TV show).
- Stan giving Roger the American Flag pin he always wears on his lapel, right before the latter is about to leave.
- A large amount of the episode "Lost in Space", but especially the Majestic musical number. Jeff is being shown supposed proof that he never loved Hayley at all, and he cries and falls to his hands and knees at the footage of him not appreciating his wife enough, now with the knowledge that he may never see her again. Scrappy or not, you'll just want to give Jeff a hug after that.
Majestic: (Crying) Oh, what you must think of me.
- When Jeff confronts the Majestic, he finds out Emperor Zing is forcing it to show only bad memories, or else he'll get killed.
- Also take into account of the Fridge Horror, all the alien slaves are being kept from their true love, and probably took the test and failed. One alien is seen crying at the beginning and another was so depressed he hit the bottle (although the latter was also a funny moment), and it's understandable. Also during the start of the revolution, Roger's people and the slaves were all angry at Emperor Zing for his lies to them about love, that they were separated from their loved ones for nothing.
- The family believing that Steve and Roger died when their treehouse was struck by lightning in "Irregarding Steve," from Hayley leaving flowers by what's left the tree and crying to Francine screaming at Stan for not letting Steve and Roger come back inside during the storm until both of them are in tears hugging on the floor. It's one of the few times the show isn't trying to be funny in the slightest.
- Steve's prom clone Glitter's "death" in "Steve and Snot's Test-Tubular Adventure".
- That episodes end credits are played over the image of Snot crying next to Honey's body, holding the macaroni necklace she made him.
- "Daddy's Gone". The song Steve and Roger sing in "Hot Water" when Stan kicks his family out and chooses his new hot tub over them. The episode itself, really, as it ends with Stan and most likely Francine being murdered by said sentient hot tub. Even worse, this was written as a possible series finale.
- In "Office Spaceman", when Steve and Hayley find out about Francine's hatred of left-handed people stemming from her upbringing at a Christian orphanage, they try to talk her into acceptance of lefties. When that fails, they show her a fish just like the one she was repeatedly smacked with to comply with the nuns' teachings. At that moment, Francine breaks down crying in total shame.Francine: (sobbing) It's true! IT'S ALL TRUE! Oh what you must think of me!
- In the "Ricky Spanish... (Ricky Spanish)" episode, Steve's pet butterfly who, in a jar, had been dropped off the port and into the sea... while still in its cocoon. How it then exits the cocoon, only to find itself trapped until death, is an extremely depressing scene.
- Altough a parody of independent movie cliches, the story in Independent Movie is actually fairly tearjerking on its own.
- The whole of "Independent Movie". The jokes are few and far between, the main story being a genuine attempt by Steve to help Snot come to terms with his estranged dad's death and when the ending hits.
- Roger's sad song about his bond with Steve changing and breaking in "A.T. The Abusive Terrestrial". For all the shitty things Roger's done it's hard not to feel bad for the guy.
- Stan still going through with donating his kidney to Hayley in "The Kidney Stays in the Picture," despite the chance that Hayley may not be biologically his.
- The scene where Francine accidentally kills a bird that had been 3 days sober. Sadist Show or not, that's just cruel.
- "The Full Cognitive Redaction of Avery Bullock by the Coward Stan Smith" becomes very melancholic towards the end, when Stan realises that Bullock is suffering from dementia except not really and decides to kill him rather than let the CIA turn him into a vegetable. It winds up becoming deeply depressing watching Bullock having a clear mental breakdown, and watching Stan trying to give the deputy director the best day of his life before going to Mercy Kill him.
- Rapture's Delight. Sure, Stan acts like a selfish dick just after the Rapture happens which causes Francine to finally leave him for Jesus, but seven years later, he's a broken man who is blind in one eye and lost his left hand and is forced to fight a battle he doesn't care about for the man who stole his wife. At the end of the episode, he sets an explosion to blow up the building and takes a bullet for Jesus which causes him to slowly bleed out internally and with his last words, he apologizes to Francine for his words before she left him, and tells her that she deserves happiness with Jesus. He begs Jesus to escape without him unraptured (and to drag a tearful Francine with him) before dying in the exploding building.
- Then, we see Stan's personal heaven: His life before The Rapture. It's not one were he has all the money and power in the world, it's just his normal life (with the exception that Klaus is still dead, so the poor guy still gets the short end). Think about that for a second.......
- In "Minstrel Krampus", Krampus doesn't punish naughty children because he enjoys it, but because he wants to set them straight, and "We've Been Bad" is about how bad he feels about his job.Krampus: When I'm breakin' the finger, lord, it breakin' my heart / and every Christmas Eve my soul is always torn apart!
- Longest Distant Relationship: Hayley finds out Jeff is going back to Earth and is going through a wormhole to make it there, and she agrees to wait. After going through the wormhole, he does arrive 60 years later. She has been waiting for 60 years and everyone in her family is worse off. Later on, she suffers a heart attack and is at the hospital, and Jeff decides to go back and tell Hayley to move on, ending their relationship.
- Sidney Hoffman's sub plot in "The One That Got Away". Convinced he stole from his credit card, Roger conspires to ruin his entire life, spreading lies to get him fired, dumped by his girlfriend and sabotaged his beautiful garden. It turns out Sidney is in fact a persona of Roger's that took a life of his own to deal with the trauma of his first unselfish thought, Roger ultimately "kills" him after he hires an assassin to stop his conspiracy.
- In "Seizures Suit Stanny", Stan's smartphone lists Jeff as "idiot son-in-law" while Jeff's phone lists Stan as simply "Dad", surrounded by hearts. A major tearjerker considering Jeff's relationship with his own father, and how much Jeff must want to be acknowledged and appreciated by Stan.
- In "Holy Shit Jeff's Back!", Hayley learning that Jeff is dead (after being dissected by the Collectors AKA the Dissectors); thankfully he gets better at the end.
- Even though Sergei Kruglov didn't care much about Steve, and he should have, it's hard not to feel bad for him. He believed in the Communist Party and was raising his son to be a Communist like him. Then, when Communism fell, his wife, who he loved, left him for a Capitalist, and then his son became the very thing he hated, a CEO, a capitalist. Since Capitalism stole his son, he wanted to steal Stan's son.
- In "Top of the Steve," Stan breaks down crying on two occasions due to missing Steve, who ran away to boarding school. Also his excitement when he thinks Steve is home when the door bell rings, only to have his hopes dashed when it turns out not to be him.
- "The Long March" starts out with a hell of an Adult Fear with Hayley being promoted to Assistant Manager at a sandwich shop. She fears that she will spend the rest of her life stuck at that stressful, monotonous job — a fear that a misguided Stan cheerfully confirms when he happily tells her that her life will revolve entirely around her employment until the day she dies. He even bluntly tells Hayley that he never really respected or cared about her as a person before she got that job. The fact that Stan never loses his cheery demeanor despite how depressing his words clearly are is just icing on the cake.Stan: Oh, Hayley, I've been so disappointed in you for so long; completely given up on you as a father!
Hayley: You what?
Stan: Yeah! But now that you've turned things around, [he pulls out a day planner and hands it to her] I got you a gift!
Hayley: A day planner?
Stan: Yeah, and the best part: I've already filled it out for you!
[Hayley opens the day planner; every page has "9:00 Go to Work —> 5:00 Go Home" written on it]
Hayley: [reading aloud] Go to work. Go home. [turns page] Go to work. Go home.
Stan and Hayley: Go to work. Go home. Go to work. Go home.
Stan: Welcome to the long march! Oh, I envy you: just starting out on a job you'll do for the next 40 years! The turbulent wave of life's joy and despair will become... a flatline! [he mimics a flatline sound effect]
Stan: Soon, you'll be marching to work, clocking in and out, marching home... over and over and over! You'll be 30! 40! 50! 60! [does flatline sound again] The march ends at the grave!
Hayley: [clearly horrified] It's... just a promotion...
Stan: There's that vacant stare of a fellow marcher!
- Disturbingly for real when she tries to get out of the job by becoming a instagram star, she so obsessed by avoiding work, that she just working without ANY breaks whatsoever (Not to mention outright slave-labor later in the episode).
- "Flirting With Disaster" brutally shows the consequences of Roger's shoddy made birdhouses. We get a supposedly cartoony scene of an anthropomorphic family of birds, before the house suddenly begins to fall apart around them, with the husband screaming in horror as support beams crush both his wife and children and he gets engulfed in fire and debris. This alone, in spite of the intentional Narm is morbid, but then we get a perspective shot from Steve afterwards who finds the broken birdhouse with the corpses of two realistic birds and their crushed eggs. Steve is understandably heartbroken and furious at Roger.
Tear Jerker / American Dad!