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Out of the chaos, four kings rose to power. In the north, the Tween King and his army of whiny turds. To the east, the Feminist Queen and her army of splay-legged princesses. In the south, a strange-headed man leads an army of futuristic astronauts that are also somehow old-timey. And to the west, the Cowboy King, Black Stan and the Italian Stallions.

The Show

  • The episode title "Rapture's Delight". Not necessarily the episode itself, but the title is epic.

The Smith Family

  • How Stan gets Francine to realize that Roger is a selfish jerkass during the first half of "Frannie 911" when earlier in the episode, Francine did nothing but defended the latter from any sort of well deserved retribution. This soon gives Francine one, as she no longer puts up with Roger's crap (by both smacking him verbally and physically) and forces him to be nicer. Sure, things went back to normal at the end, but the final scene of Francine allowing Stan to beat down on Roger whenever he deserves it is icing on the cake.
  • In "Hurricane!", when Stan decides not to evacuate, his whole family calls him out, citing he always makes bad decisions in bad situations.
    • Well, except for Hayley, whose one moment of supporting her dad led to her getting mauled by a shark. She then promptly changed her opinion.
  • In "Virtual In-Stanity": Stan controlling the super-strong Phyllis avatar versus Francine in a Mini-Mecha!
  • Stan and Roger brawl to a stalemate for ten days in "The Wrestler".
  • In the episode "Familyland" after being trapped in the titular park, Stan, Hayley, Steve and Roger all independently assume complete control over one fourth of the park and the population.
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  • In the episode "The Future is Borax", Stan and Francine are stuck aboard a hot air balloon struggling to survive while giant condors wait for them in a thunderstorm. They agree the best course of action is to have Francine provide food and water while Stan "conserves his strength" (IE, sleeping and eating) to defeat the Giant Flyer. She DOES, using the scant materials to rig survival gear from the remains of their clothes and picnic gear. Is this setting up for a selfish Stan joke? No. Turns out, he was 100% serious and proceeds to DESTROY the Condor in the ensuing battle.


  • A small moment in the episode "Stan Knows Best". Hayley has dyed her hair green, and Stan is appalled. He tells her to get rid of it, and when she refuses, he holds her at gunpoint after putting together a gun that was completely disassembled (doing so in roughly one second).
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  • The episode "The Most Adequate Christmas Ever" features Stan holding God (THE God) at gunpoint, demanding a chance to save his family. And God doesn't even blink, even though Stan has a gun that can kill him, and gives Stan a brutal speech about his controlling attitude:
    Stan: (pointing gun at God) Now send me back so I can save my family!
    God: Not gonna happen.
    Stan: You have to!
    God: Oh, okay, so you know better than me. Is that it? You're All-Knowing?!
    Stan: No! Eh, I, Yes! I... I-I don't know!
    God: Exactly! You. Don't. Know. You can't know! So stop trying to control everything!
    Stan: I don't do that!
    God: Stan, you're holding a gun to God's head. I mean, I-I-I can't even think of a metaphor that's better than this.
  • The first true CMoA in the series comes at the end of the episode "Bullocks to Stan", where Stan engages in a fight with Deputy Director Bullock for calling his daughter a "cheap slut".
    Stan: This is for treating me like a errand boy! This is for delaying my promotion! This is for disrespecting my daughter! And this is for not letting me stop at the creek for a drink!
  • As explained in the Heartwarming tropes, Stan is willing to do whatever it takes to save his family, even if it means to wing Reagan.
    Stan: Francine, I came back here to save Christmas, but the most important part of Christmas is you and the kids.
  • Stan, for all he mistreats his family, has shown his willingness to take the bullet for them on a surprisingly frequent basis. He took a sniper attack on Hayley in "Stannie Get Your Gun" and pushed Francine out of the way of a falling statue in "Finances With Wolves". Of course Status Quo ensures Stan comes out okay, but the implication's still there.
    Stan: For the second time in my life I was saved by hip hop... but that's another story.
  • Also Stan's plan to save Roger from an autopsy in "Office Spaceman".
    Roger: He switched the gas. Son of a bitch "Superman II'd" me!"
  • Stan — who is a fountain of these, despite the fact that he borders on being a Villain Protagonist in some episodes — spends the early parts of an episode digging through the foundations of the house searching for Oliver North's hidden gold cache while everyone is calling him insane. Stan's moment comes when Francine is doing an interview with reporters/neighbors Greg and Terry in the kitchen; while she's saying how insane Stan is and Greg and Terry are calling Stan an idiot, Stan walks in carrying a chest. Stan drops it on the table, opens it up to reveal Ollie North's gold — which instantly shuts everyone up — then puts the cherry on top by flipping off everyone as he walks out of the room.
    • And then he sticks his head back into the room and flips them off again for good measure.
  • Stan beating the hell out of a meter maid, because... well, let's face facts, it's something we've all wanted to do.
  • In Raptures Delight, Stan makes some statues from a Nativity scene nailed to the ceiling fall and crush two mooks.
    It's raining wise men. Hallelujah.
    • Stan saves Francine from the Anti Christ and then pulls a Heroic Sacrifice to save Jesus himself.
  • "Return of the Bling": Stan snatches the gold medal from Roger's hands and yells, "You lying, thieving cheater! You're gonna get what you deserve!" followed by chucking Roger in a pit of ugly, horny British girls.
  • Though "Less Money, Mo Problems" is meant to demonstrate Stan's complete inability to live on minimum wage, there is something admittedly awesome about him managing to single handedly treat his wounds after being ran down by a car driven by Roger.
  • While telling Roger he'd have to kill either him or Jeff if Jeff ever discovered he was an alien, Roger ascertains that Stan couldn't do it, because he loves him. Stan's response? To choke him to death with an utterly bored look on his face, drop him, and revive him with CPR.
  • Stan, with the help of Hulk Hogan, pulling a rather conventional Heel–Face Turn in "Stanny Tendergrass" and teaming up to convince Roger and the other snobby club members to give back the employees' swim time "the hard way". Hogan's original theme "Real American" playing through the whole thing only sweetens the deal.
  • Almost any rare moment Stan is actually right and delivers some helpful wisdom to the family. For example the pilot when he reaches Steve after locking himself in the school, then uses a photo of himself at his age to demonstrate he will turn out fine. For good measure he has the Alpha Bitch who used and rejected him deported.
  • Even though it was a hallucination Stan flying in air and turning back time a la Superman: the Movie was awesome to behold.
  • In "(You Gotta) Strike for Your Right" Stan finds out Haley has been taken hostage by a warlord and due to the terms of the strike all the CIA's agents are on vacation, without hesitation he goes down there and rescues her single-handedly.
  • In “My Purity Ball And Chain”, during the climax, Stan gives Steve a sex talk while fending off a group of fathers that practice abstinence with a sword while Steve scores with Shannon, one of the daughters of the group. While he did ended up getting wounded, it was more than enough for Steve and Shannon to lose their virginities. Bonus points for Steve FINALLY losing his virginity.
  • In the Episode The Future is Borax, after the ordeal mentioned above and surviving in the Outback, Stan and Francine flee into a mine and Stan gets a massive gut wound right before they are attacked by 8-10 humanoid cave monsters. They flee, but come across a dead end. Stan proceeds to reveal that he's STILL been conserving his energy from earlier in the episode and proceeds to completely evsiscerate the cave monsters while laughing uproariously


  • Francine's musical number in "Stan of Arabia", in which she manages to rhyme "labia" with "Arabia" and break many Muslim laws by singing and appearing in skimpy clothes.
    • Until the tables had turned on her, Francine in the same episode was dishing out quite the ass-whooping on Thundercat.
  • In The Scarlett Getter, Stan realizes his former fantasy girl is actually an alien hunter who's been using Stan to get to Roger. As she's tying Stan up and calling him a loser, Stan tells her that she's trash and not worth the trouble he went through to get her, reminding himself that Francine is more of a woman then Scarlett will ever be.
    Stan: Lady, my wife blows you away!
    Francine: Damn right I do.
  • In "Son of Stan", Stan clones Steve to prove his strict parenting methods are better than Francine's lenient methodology; Francine's Steve (the real Steve) becomes a disrespectful, lazy brat (while Stan's Steve aka Stevarino becomes a sadistic and cruel lunatic). When Steve mouths off to his parents even after they save him(though in his defense, it was his parents' fault he was in this mess due to them making the bet and Stevarino attempting a Kill and Replace), Francine decides she's had enough; she slaps Steve twice, then tells him...
    Steven Smith, I am your mother! If you don't get out of that cage, I will shove you back up my clownhole, birth you again, and name you my bitch! NOW GET OUT OF THAT CAGE!
  • Francine free-running like a boss in "Stanny Boy and Frantastic", and it was her first time doing it (meanwhile, Stan — who actually was able to free-run on the pilot episode — ends up getting bruised and beaten).
  • From the "Hurricane!", blink and you'll miss it, but when the family finds Hayley after she was wounded by the shark, Francine makes a truly impressive display of physical strength by hefting her teenage daughter, whom it should be noted is about the same size as she is, into her arms and carrying her back to where the rest of them are.
  • The fight between Francine and Toshi's mother in "Spelling Bee My Baby". Specifically when Toshi's mother boasted that she would easily win, being asian, only for Francine's chinese parents to walk in, turning her confidence to fear when she realises Francine was raised every bit as Asian she was.
  • In "White Rice" Stan tries to sabotage Francine's return to her former career as a stand-up comic who specialized in telling Asian jokes by making her nervous before performing in front of some TV executives. Sure enough, Francine barely says a complete sentence before she vomits on stage. Stan waits for her to come home with a banner saying the dishes are in the sink. Francine says that the Fox network ordered six episodes for her own sitcom and she's leaving for Hollywood. If Stan had stayed he would've known that Francine turned the incident around to make a bunch of jokes about Mongolian barbecue.
  • In "My Morning Straitjacket", when Roger fails to get Stan backstage with a groupie disguise, Francine shows up fully dressed as a groupie, effortlessly gets Stan backstage to meet the lead singer of My Morning Jacket. Then for good measure, she and Stan have a threeway with a woman backstage.
  • In "Bully for Steve", after discovering that Stan has been bullying Steve in another misguided attempt to make him man up, she chases him throughout the school and it escalates into a car chase that ends with her crashing Stan into a tree. It just goes to show you, even if you're her husband, do NOT mess with her Steven.
  • In "Killer Vacation", Francine is unhappy that Bullock has ordered Stan to kill the seemingly nice recreation director at their vacation resort because the guy is a bloodthirsty war criminal. However, Francine later decides that if this is wrecking their vacation, she actually tries to help Stan take the guy out.
  • In "Stan's Food Restaurant," after learning Roger took over ownership of Stan's dream restaurant and completely disregarded Stan's ideas as garbage, Francine gets so pissed off on Stan's behalf she gets a loan from her parents and helps Stan build his own restaurant located next door to Roger's. Not only do they get Roger's chef to quit to work for them, the place is a rousing success while Roger's flops.
  • Stan and Francine are left behind in "Rapture's Delight," and when they seemingly meet Jesus himself, Stan tries to throw Francine under the bus claiming the sex they had in the church earlier in the day was all her fault and he doesn't deserve to get dragged down with her. Granted, Stan is right about how Francine was the one who suggested they do it, yet Francine is beyond disgusted that Stan has the nerve to act like he's got the moral high ground when they've both done some pretty terrible things in their lives. So Francine gets some pretty epic payback when it turns out the Jesus Stan met was a fake, and not only has she found the real Jesus, she's dating him.
    Francine: Can you believe it, Stan? Jesus thinks I'm good enough for Him. Goodbye, Stan. Have a nice Armageddon.
  • In "Toy Whorey", Roger (as "Uncle Roger") gets it into his head to threaten her with disturbingly realist violence at a mild upset and "keep adding punches" when she obviously protests before he follows her out of the kitchen. Two blows land outside and Roger runs crying back through the room.


  • Steve beating the living shit out of Beauregard, a greyhound-riding half-man, after the latter unleashed a barrage of insults about Stan.
    Steve: Don't talk about my Dad that way! Just because he doesn't know everything doesn't [punch] mean [punch] he's [punch] stupid! [punch]
    • And then he proceeds to steal Beauregard's cash.
  • During the Paintball Vietnam War Re-enactment in In Country Club, Steve manages to rescue Stan who was captured by the Viet Kong team, and tortured by Roger over a Pay-Per-View code. Steve assaults the Golf Cart storage area used as a prison with his Army Uniform's sleeves ripped off, slitting (or drawing scar lines on) throats with a red Sharpie marker, and spraying the enemy team with a paint sprayer like a flamethrower, with the phrase "Die Bitches!" written on the sprayers tank.
  • Steve gets two in Toy Whorey. The first when he successfully sets up an ambush in his room to stop Stan from taking away his toys, a la Home Alone, complete with a firecracker assault. Stan actually crawls out of Steve's room on his knees in fear. The second when he tricks the two guards holding them prisoner into playing make believe with them, at which point Steve locks them in the cell so he and Stan can escape.
  • In one episode, Stan and Steve are trying to get a door for Stan's project of building a DeLorean, and are competing with a Back to the Future fanboy, who steals the knob from Stan's gearshift. Steve climbs out onto the hood, leaps into the other guy's DeLorean, steals the knob back, and then jumps back to Stan's car, even flipping back down into the passenger's seat. All while a Suspiciously Similar version of the Back to the Future theme song plays. Stan himself calls the stunt awesome, and the smug look on Steve's face afterwards shows that he knows it.
  • A minor one but in the episode where Steve tries out for football to impress Stan, after getting kicked/punched in the nuts every time Steve and Stan have a father-son moment by Stan, Steve finally gets to punch Stan in the nuts when Stan notices they're having a moment.
    Stan: Hey look at that, we're having a father-and-son moment.
    Steve: Quit ruining it! (*cue nut punch*)
  • After all the jokes about how weak and wimpy Steve is, when the Smiths find out Roger is seeing another family behind their backs, he's so angry he flips over a table, tears a pillow in half, and jumps up to the ceiling and pulls down a chandelier!
  • When he thinks his girlfriend's campaign for student body president was sabotaged by Alpha Bitch Lisa Silver and her two friends, he goes off on a glorious Disproportionate Retribution spree to avenge Debbie by destroying Lisa and her friends. But it turns out it wasn't them.
  • When Steve first dated Debbie in "The American Dad After-School Special," Stan was horrified when he learned Debbie was chubby and tried to make Steve break up with her. Steve immediately shut Stan down and ran after Debbie.
    Stan (trying to keep Steven from leaving the room): I forbid you to see that girl!
    Steve (throwing Stan's arm off him): You can't keep us apart!
    • And then later, Steve briefly breaks up with Debbie when he feels her presence is what instigated Stan's eating disorder. In the days following their break-up, Steve is totally miserable but hopes that at least Stan is getting better. When he learns Stan wasn't even making an effort to overcome his anorexia, Steve has had it.
      Steve: I broke up with Debbie because I thought that would help you, and you weren't even trying?!
      Stan: Guys, I can explain! I was lying to you!
      Steve: Debbie was the best thing that ever happened to me, and you drove her away with your stupid obsession with how people look. I had a real connection with someone for the first time in my life, and all you cared about was her appearance! I didn't care if she was fat, or thin. She was sweet and beautiful, and kind of freaky in a good way. And I'm gonna check every buffet in town until I find her!


  • In "Cops & Roger", the way that Roger kills the dirty cop. He climbs up a metal chain to escape said cop, and tries to elbow drop him, but WINDS UP MAKING HIS HEAD EXPLODE BY ACCIDENT!
    Roger: That was unexpected.
  • In one episode, Roger falls face-first and accidentally inhales a lethal (to a human) amount of cocaine. He then proceeds to have a shootout with an ENTIRE DRUG GANG and would have won had the cocaine not worn off.
    • Also an awesome moment for Steve: Lavate los manos!
  • Responding to Francine throwing him off a cliff in the most awesome way possible.
  • When a group of drunken asshole fratboys screws Roger out of his pay for a limo ride, Roger hunts down and murders every single one of them, including one who was on a plane. This may seem like a case of Disproportionate Retribution, but for anyone who has EVER worked in a service job and had to deal with smug assholes like this, it's easily a moment of Awesome.
  • Roger screwing Hayley and Jeff out of the 50 grand they conned out of Francine and Stan by invoking Hell Is That Noise in Son Of Stan.
  • Just the sheer lengths Roger is willing to go when there is something he wants. Sometimes it lands him on the side of Villain Protagonist, but you still have to admire his sheer tenacity, such as his relentless pursuit of the Smiths in The Great Space Roaster, which includes busting out of an insanely high security prison in Asia where his jail cell was at the bottom of the ocean, or the ridiculous lengths he went to for a good red wig in Old Stan In the Mountain.
  • Roger taking down a CIA helicopter in "Blagnarst: A Love Story."
  • In "The Two Hundred," we find out the Two Hundred are ''every single persona Roger ever created turned into separate entities after Roger was caught in a hadron collider. What follows is a siege made up entirely of different versions of Roger, featuring the return of Jeannie Gold, Martin Sugar, Ruby Zeldastein, Roland Chang, Sidney Houffman, and Ricky Spanish to name a few. It's much more amazing than it sounds.
  • Kicking his bullying friend Henry in the balls at the end of "A.T The Abusive Terrestrial".
  • In "Permanent Record Wrecker", Roger bets a coffee shop guitarist named Jimal, whom he insults, that if he can beat him in a guitar play-off the loser will never show up to the shop again. Roger struggles for the better part of the Episode until he makes a Faustian Bargain, selling his soul to the Devil (and seeming almost oblivious) in order to become an expert and beat Jimal. When Jimal asks if he can keep his job and keep playing in the shop, Roger offers to allow it if Jimal cover the cost of his lessons...cue a flame from Hell spouting up from beneath Jimal and dragging him off to Hell while Roger claps his hands. Not so much awesome for Jimal.
  • In "Frannie 911", Roger reveals that forcing himself to be nice is slowly poisoning him due to his weird alien biology. The whole family wants him to live, and urges him to be a jerk again. He asks for Steve to perform one of his dance moves for him (he'd spent the entire episode bragging about being a great backup dancer) and just tore into him:
    "If your goal was to inspire a feeling of despair the likes of which hasn't been felt since Whoopi hosted the Oscars, then BRAVO. I can see millions rising up, demanding legislation that would force your legs amputated, incinerated and buried next to Hitler. In short, YOU SUCK."


  • Bullock and Stan drive Jeff out to the woods to kill him under the pretense of going hunting. Stan, feeling pity, gets Bullock to agree to giving Jeff a ten-second headstart. Jeff instantly takes off to steal their car and leaves them stranded in the woods.
  • Jeff Fischer finally stands up to father-in-law Stan, who's been putting him down for years, as the Smith family fights off Santa and his elves. It was in a Christmas episode, so it might not be part of regular continuity, but it was still awesome.
  • After being repeatedly robbed and beaten (and supposedly almost raped) outside his own bedroom door by Roger in disguise over yet another Disproportionate Retribution scheme (which Jeff never finds out), Jeff confronts the "mugger," first with a speech about how scum like him are responsible for making the streets (read: bedroom hallway) unsafe, then shooting him.
    Jeff: You know I remember a time when this was a safe hallway. I left my door unlocked, kids played after dark.I could walk home without being scared AND I DON'T WANNA BE SCARED ANYMORE!
    • Also doubles as a CMOA because as Roger lays on the ground bleeding he pulls a gun at Jeff (who is unaware that the thief (Roger) is even alive.) and takes aim but instead of getting a shot at Jeff loses grip of the gun and it shots him in the knee and what Roger say's only adds to this.
    Roger (Grunts in pain): That's a whoopsies.
  • In "100 A.D." Jeff manages to scam Stan out of $50,000 by promising to not marry Hayley, only to then run off with her anyway. At the end of the episode he pulls a knob to transform his van into Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and flies off into the sunset with the film's title track playing in the background.
  • In "Lost In Space" Jeff proves to Roger's people that true love does exist and Emperor Zing has been lying to his people. The result starts a rebellion.
    • Not to mention Jeff's reaction when finds out that there are 47000 planets known as earth in the escape pod's database
      Jeff: Well let's start with Earth 1.
  • Jeff calling out Stan on ruining Hayley's self-esteem for most of her life in "The Devil Wears a Lapel Pin".
  • Jeff successfully building and playing an instrument he saw when he was high on hallucinogenic tea on "Standard Deviation".


  • Hayley does get a couple of moments even though her role on the show is downplayed.
    • During "Surro-Gate," she makes a valid point against Stan's ranting about Francine being the surrogate for Greg and Terry's baby. Hayley points out that Stan stressing Francine could damage the baby, and that unless he wants to be responsible for damaging an unborn life, he needs to back off. It's one of the few times Hayley makes a logical observation when challenging Stan's viewpoint.
    • In Roy Rogers McFreely, Hayley points that, as she is part of the counterculture and now Stan is opposed to Roger's ruling of his beloved system, Stan is now part of the counterculture himself and on the same side as Hayley. Stan actually agrees with her and the two team-up to form a substantial counterattack to Roger's changes in the neighborhood. She later saves Stan from Roger and makes Stan realize that Roger making Stan feel powerless is just how Stan makes Roger feel when they're at home.
    • When she realizes Snot has stolen a pair of her panties from Steve, Hayley bursts into his house and delivers a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown to get said panties back, just because they were lucky, and when you think about it, God only knows what Snot was doing with them.
    • When Roger and Stan try to hasten Hayley through the stages of acceptance because Jeff was abducted by Roger's race so she could referee their badminton game, Hayley points out at the end she had to accept it because they were the ones who got Jeff abducted in the first place, so she steals their shuttlecock and ruins their game. Understated, but still satisfying.
    • From the ending of Da Flippity Flop when Hayley and Francine corner Klaus in Stan's body:
      Hayley: Punch in the face!
  • In "Jack's Back", Hayley manages to get Roger to sign her internship attestation by outwitting him in a contest of "dueling characters". They go back and forth with different characters, including a bull fighter, his half-bull son from the future, an idiot savant amish man who disproves time travel, and so on until Hayley becomes Roger, claiming she won't sign the paper. Roger, in turn, becomes Hayley and "forges" his own signature on the paper. A proud Hayley takes the attestation and leaves a confused Roger wondering what the hell happened.
    • Hayley actually manages to pull one over on Roger in the costume-game again in "Pride Before The Fail", not once but twice! First, she definitively derails 'Lacey Crinklehole's attempt to get her to pass her class by getting 'her' blackout drunk at a party, forcing an F. This forces Roger to kill off Lacey to get Hayley the A... but when Hayley notices that Roger's got waaaay too much pride in Lacey, she bashes the persona in public, causing Roger to storm onto the stage in-character in a fit of pique!
  • When Hayley goes back to working in Roger's bar, she starts learning from Bullock a lot of confidential information about what the C.I.A. does including a nuclear war in Chicago. Bullock's not concerned because he views Hayley as a drinking buddy, and by that point she's become too much of an alcoholic to be a problem. After finding out Hayley's in A.A., Bullock sends a squad to kill her to make sure she doesn't leak any secrets. Stan tries to save Hayley, but Hayley does a good job of saving herself when she reveals she wrote down everything Bullock told her and left strict instructions to have it all publicized if anything happens to her.
  • In "News Glance With Genevieve Vavance," Hayley finally steps up and, along with Steve, reveals Roger knew Steve's kidnapping was faked but went along with it to get ratings and then framed Stan and Francine for Steve's death followed by pinning the blame on Hayley for the whole thing. They manage to completely destroy Roger's credibility as "Genevieve Vavance" and get him chased by an angry mob.
  • In "The Devil Wears A Lapel Pin," Hayley was set to completely ruin Stan's work on the C.I.A. calendar as revenge for his constant criticisms. Even though she decided not to go through with it the calendar gets destroyed by accident. Hayley, along with Jeff, managed to completely restore the calendar from scratch.
  • After Stan repeatedly drugs her to stop Hayley from asking then-president George W. Bush questions about the Iraq War, he has her put in "The Pit of No Return." A couple of scenes later, a bloody and bruised Hayley bursts out of the basement with a chain around her ankle and a pickax in her hands.
    Stan: How did you get past the-?!
    Hayley: They're all dead, dad.
    Stan: Even the younglings?!
    Hayley: I made you a wallet out of their hides.
    • Keep in mind this all most likely happened within the space of an hour.
  • Hayley organized an angry mob of their neighbors to help her rescue Bob and Linda Memari after Stan converted their backyard into a prison yard and detained them. When Stan locked everyone else up, Hayley figured out a way to break them out and salvage Francine's friendship by convincing everyone they were throwing a theme party.
  • In "Tears of a Clooney," the B-plot focuses on Steve and Roger exploiting a bunch of orphans for slave labor in Roger's backyard vineyard. Hayley's unable to do anything because it's implied she's been diagnosed with cancer and spends most of the year slowly dying. Come summer, it's revealed she beat her illness and fulfills a promise to God that has her calling child services and freeing the kids from Roger's torture.
  • In "Meter Maid", Hayley gets back at Roger for painting a nude picture of her, letting Steve borrow it and not telling him it was his sister, and auctioning it.
    Hayley: You know what Roger? This is all your fault. I'm going kick your ass!
    Roger: Think you got a shot porn star? Bring it! (Hayley punches him in the gut) I wasn't ready. (Falls to the floor in a fetal position, wrapping his arms around his stomach) That how Houdini died.


  • In Haylias, Stan turns to Klaus for advice about what to with Hayley now that he's activated her sleeper cell training. Though it's entirely one-sided as he's just interrupting Klaus as he's trying to read. Klaus finally gets fed up and calmly tells Stan this:
    Klaus: I think you only turn to me when you have no one else to turn to. I think you really don't care what I have to say and you just like listening to yourself talk. I think you are a selfish bastard and I think you can go to Hell!
    Stan (shocked): Wow. Okay. Uh, well I guess I'll ask someone else what-
    Klaus: Yes, why don't you go do that.
  • In one episode, Roger attempts the Smoke Out and fails both times (falling asleep in the smoke cloud). Later on, Klaus (who Roger's been belittling throughout the episode) manages to do the Smoke Out right. A few seconds later an octopus-like monster appears and Klaus, sitting in a golden chalice, wearing a crown and wielding a sword, cuts his way out of its belly. He then tells Roger "I was gone sixty years! [...] I don't know [where I went] but wherever it was... I am their king now."
  • In Dr. Klaustus, Klaus airs all of the Smith Family's lies to help them work through them, as they've all been turning to Roger's psychiatrist persona "Dr. Penguin" who's been telling them to lie. Their problems include:
    • Stan has been have pre-dinner meals every day for ten years because Francine's cooking is awful, and has been feeding her meals to a pit of wolves built under the kitchen. And some of the wolves are in fact fourth generation.
    • Francine has been stealing fifty dollars from Stan's wallet every week to go to her "emergency fund", for drugs.
    • Steve has a girlfriend and has been telling her that Greg and Terry are his gay fathers because he's embarrassed of Stan and Francine.
    • Jeff has thinks about Francine when he's getting intimate with Hayley because it's the only way he can get aroused.
    • Hayley has been playing ultimate Frisbee without Jeff because he's horrible at sports.
    • None of the family will listen to Klaus because they can't see past his fish exterior. After Roger realizes that the way to get the family to listen is by providing a mouthpiece, Roger gets into his Drill Sergeant Nasty persona "Sgt. Pepper", and barks them into submission and then orders them to work out their problems. Stan should just shut up and eat Francine's cooking, Francine should use her emergency fund for a cooking class, Steve should be lucky he has parents who love him, Hayley should dress up for Jeff because "hippies aren't sexy, they're dirty", and Jeff should exercise. Roger then orders them to thank Klaus because these are his ideas and he deserves the credit. The family then apologizes and honestly thanks Klaus for helping them. This is one of the nicest things Roger has ever done for Klaus, and it's a genuine Pet the Dog moment for Klaus (until he gets rewarded a hooker and the episode ends with him crying and eating chocolate while the hooker just files her nails in bed).
      • This was an amazing moment for Klaus, who's been neglected and ignored for years.
  • In Sense and Sensei-bility, Klaus is relegated to being an "outdoor fish" which eventually exposes him to a large number of aggressive cats and birds. Klaus eventually lures Stan, Francine and Hayley outside and locks them out. They get back at Klaus by delivering all of the cats and birds to Klaus in a box, which Klaus opens in the house. However, Klaus kills all of the animals in 10 seconds. The family overhear his Badass Boast.

Other Characters

  • Toshi single-handedly takes out half a dozen serial killers to save Stan, Francine, and Roger in "The Best Little Horror House in Langley Falls".
  • In "Bully for Steve", Steve finds Stan's childhood bully on Facebook and has him beat Stan to a bloody pulp. The whole episode revolved around Stan trying to get Steve to learn to stand up for himself and not have others fight his battles for him by bullying his own son; while Steve did resort to having someone fight his battle for him (which means he completely missed the point of Stan's lesson), Stan did have it coming, and boy, was that beatdown fun to watch.
    • Actually, Steve DID learn Stan's lesson, just not in the way he intended. Stan wanted Steve to not simply try to avoid obstacles, but what is Steve supposed to do against a bully who's easily three times his size and age, especially when that bully is his own dad? Instead, Steve does the logical thing by hiring someone who actually had a chance of taking Stan down.
      • This ultimately leads to a Broken Aesop, since for all of Stan's talk for wanting Steve to stand up for himself and fight his own battles, Stan himself never learned to stand up to Stelio and fight back against him—according to what Stan told Steve earlier in the episode, Stan lucked out on having to deal with him because Stelio ended up moving away. And even as an adult, Stan (who's a top CIA-agent) is still unable to stand up to his old bully, and in the end, Stelio (who works in a copy store called "Klinko's") utterly wipes the floor with Stan.
    • Though Stelio himself never got the beating he deserved, and while Stan was just trying to toughen up his son in response (albeit in the worst and most misguided way possible), Stan was ultimately proven right in that Steve needs to learn to stand up for himself and can't always have others fight his battles for him—in a later episode, Steve ends up facing another bully, but this time, this bully is a student at his school and closer to his age. He tries the same trick that he did with his dad by hiring Stelio, but Stelio ends up beating him up, and then when he tries getting his new bully to beat up Stelio in revenge, Stelio and the bully end up teaming up to beat Steve up even worse—granted, this was (at least partly) because Roger was involved (which led to the gambit failing in the first place.)
  • Jesus gets one when he flips onto the Anti Christ's shoulders and snaps his neck with his thighs in "Rapture's Delight".
  • Principal Lewis often flip-flops from Fat Bastard, Fat Idiot, and Apathetic Teacher, or can usually be a mix of the three (especially in the final episodes on FOX going into the TBS episodes), but he earned some points in "Licensed to Till" when he broke a pot of coffee across Steve's face after Steve tries to bully a 12-year-old genius exchange student from India.
    Principal Lewis: *wild laughter*...Yeeeeahhh...
  • In the episode when Stan kidnaps Greg and Terry's infant daughter because he thinks same-sex couples don't make good parents. After kidnapping the children of a lesbian couple who tried to change and make him see the error of his ways, the kids make him realize he's wrong about same-sex couples being unable to raise kids. When he stops and hands the kids back over to their rightful parents and apologizes, Terry punches him in the face and puts out a restraining order against him.
    • The way the kids make him realize he's wrong is absolutely awesome.
    Stan: You seemed like a great family, but you can't be. There's two mothers and no father. Jason, who's gonna teach you to play football?
    Jason: My football coach?
    Stan: Well, okay, that could work. Mary, who's gonna carry you on their shoulders so you can see the parade?
    Mary: My mom. She's 6 feet in heels.
    Stan: (after the two kids start bickering) Steve, Hayley, knock it off! I mean- Wait, you fight just like my kids. Just like normal kids...
  • On the episode 200, Greg after losing both legs managed to get on the train and later on fought off Lewis.
  • The Chocodile scene when Stan is inside Roger's mind on "Brains, Brains, and Automobiles." Especially saying his Pre Ass Kicking One Liner "Oh HELL no" while smirking at Stan. Then the short yet cool beatdown begins.
  • From the very end of the episode "Son of Stan": "I'll see you in hell." *BANG*
  • In the fight in "Lost In Space", Sinbad holds his ground against the alien guards (at first) with nothing but a butcher knife. Sort of becomes a Heroic Sacrifice.
    • The initial test itself in "Lost In Space" is kickass in that it's set to the orgasmic music of Wax Fang's "Majestic" and sequenced fantastically with the song. However, the same test doubles as a heart-wrenching experience for Jeff.
      • Speaking of which, they actually got Wax Fang to perform the song for the sequence, as opposed to just paying to use the album version.
  • Director Bullock calling Stan out for his actions when Stan is ordered to have Bullock mindwiped because he is showing signs of dementia and he is now a risk to national security, with Stan refusing and going on the run with Bullock due to their mentor/student relationship. It was actually a brain scrambling chip Bullock's rival put on his neck as part of an extended rivalry between the two. Bullock points out that Stan refusing to terminate him, heartwarming though it was, was incredibly stupid and borderline treasonous, especially since Bullock's erratic behavior caused multiple serious security breaches (among others he stole a nuclear submarine).
    Bullock: You don't work for ME, you idiot! You work for your country!
  • In "The Worst Stan" Tracey (Principal Lewis's prison husband) manages to survive Stan's attempts to murder him. This includes getting shot multiple times, being thrown off a cliff, being eaten by an alligator, having that said alligator shot and made into clothing. Made of Iron indeed.
  • The fact that the latest season appears to have rapid continuity this season (it even references past episodes) is impressive.
    • How better the continuity, they brought back Evil Barry in season 16.
  • The other strippers banding together and fighting Stan and Jeff to stop them from dragging Hayley home against her will way back in the first season, followed by the strippers essentially guilt tripping Stan into realizing his controlling behavior is doing more harm than good. All of them had fathers who never supported their choices and it's why they started stripping (as well as one woman whose uncle molested her).
  • The sheer fact that finally brought back AND finished the Golden Turd saga on the episode "300".


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