Release: May 17, 2011
Film: The Legend of the Titanic (1999)
This review contains examples of:
- Angrish: The Critic is reduced to this when he discovers the real reason why the Titanic sank.
- Artistic License History: The Critic's major criticism of the movie, as the iceberg was caused by an octopus, and the Titanic doesn't sink at the end. The Critic goes so far as to say Titanic: The Legend Goes On, despite having a rapping dog, is more faithful to the actual events by comparison.
- Big "NO!": When the Critic's brother Rob tells him he must review this movie, the Critic wails, "NOOOOOO!!", a la Darth Vader.
- Blunt "Yes": Rob replies to the aforementioned Big "NO!" with a simple "...Yes."
- Boredom Montage: The Critic gets bored of the mice's protocol (which includes a roll call, boarding procedures, and sailor talk), to the point of interrupting it to declare, "Hey, remember when we used to just sneak aboard and eat shit? Can we go back to those days?"
- Call-Back: To the "Exposition, exposition" song, first used in the Casper review.
- Conflict Ball: The Critic points out that when Elizabeth tells her father that she refuses to marry Maltravers after talking to the dolphins and mice, the father tells her he only wanted her to be happy and would never force her to do anything against her will, while earlier in the movie, when she complains that she'd rather die than go through the marriage, the father argues that she has a position to keep up and that he and the stepmother only want what's best for her.Critic: Seriously, what did she do different? She made the same argument she did before. In fact, it's actually less angry. Are you honestly telling me that this ("I have absolutely no intention of marrying Everard.") is much more stronger than this? ("I'd rather die than marry that horrifying, disgusting old serpent!")
- Dramatic Drop: Invoked by the Critic when, after it was revealed that Maltravers has a gang of sharks ready to sink the Titanic, he says, "I'm sorry. I need to drop something." He then pours a glass of water and drops it onto the floor.
- Fauxdian Slip: "This is Rose, I mean Rose! I mean Rose! I mean Elizabeth."
- Four Lines, All Waiting: The Critic compains that there are too many plot threads in the movie.
- Fridge Logic: The Critic wonders how Maltravers and his goons were able to communicate with the sharks, since Elizabeth's communication with the dolphins at least got an explanation and he assumes the same method applied to her communication with the mice.
- Heroic BSoD: After it's revealed that the antagonists of the film are a gang of sharks who were allied with the evil whaler and were the real reason the Titanic sank, the Critic had to stare blankly in the mirror the tune of the One-Woman Wail from The Lord of the Rings before he was ready to continue the review. He does it again after summarizing the film's major points.
- Jaw Drop: The Critic does this when it's revealed that Maltravers is going sink the Titanic with his shark minions. It's still agape when he goes to drop a glass of water on the floor.
- Money, Dear Boy:Maltravers: There's nothing in the world that counts besides money and power. Everything else is simply there to be used to achieve those objectives.
Critic: I think we just saw the meeting for how this movie got greenlighted.
- "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: When the Critic describes the town the Titanic sails off of as "the town of genetic clones", he points out two indentical women and says he's not kidding.
- Obviously Evil: The Critic compares Everard Maltravers to Billy Zane's character from Titanic (1997).
- Overly Long Gag: He quickly grows tired of the endless Punny Names of the mice, and their lectures about protocol.
- Rebus Bubble: The Critic does this when Ronnie, a mouse, declares he's not racist for admiring a human woman for her beauty.
- Sequel Hook: Subverted — the episode concludes with the Critic discovering that they made a sequel to the movie, but a disclaimer shows up saying he's not actually going to review it. Five years later, he ended up doing so anyway.
- Serial Escalation: The Critic brings back his giant Jagermeister bottle from his Titanic: The Legend Goes On review as he begins his review of The Legend of the Titanic. However, as soon as Connors reveals that nobody died in the Titanic tragedy, the Critic knocks it aside and summons one that's the size of a house.
- When one of the dolphins heralds the arrival of the whales, a clip is played of Scotty from Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home saying, "There be whales here!"
- During a scene where the mouse captain gives a protocol on safety, the Critic tells them to sing "There Are No Cats in America".
- When Tentacles the octopus (who sank with the Titanic in an attempt to salvage it) and Camembert the mouse (who apparently died when he tied his moustache to the telegraph wires) are revealed to be alive after all, a sound clip from "Simpsons Bible Stories" plays.
- Some Call Me "Tim": The Critic decides to call the Prince of Andalucia "Joe" after considering his real name (Don Juan Tenorio Geriate Gonzalez Leon) too unwieldy.
- Strangled by the Red String: The Critic points out that the romance between Elizabeth and Don Juan is more forced than the romance between Angelica and William.Critic: But, unlike the other animated Titanic movie where they shared only three lines of dialogue and decided they love each other, here they only share one line of dialogue. Yeah, one fucking line of dialogue and they know it's meant to be! I guess he considers sniffing the glove first base.
- Tempting Fate:
- When Connors and Ronnie leave the mice crew:Critic: Oh, good, our mousey friends got away from the rest of the team. I guess that means there's not going to be any more ship proto— (the captain of the mouse team goes over safety) Ah, Hell!
- When the dolphins reveal to Elizabeth that Maltravers is hunting the whales to near extinction:Critic: I'm sorry, which story are we watching?! The love story? The ship? The mice? The whales? What is the focus?! You can't just throw this incredibly bizarre bullshit at us and just expect us to go along with it! I mean, it's like saying, "Hey! The Titanic wasn't destroyed by an iceberg, it was an evil gang of underwater sharks who are in cahoots with the evil whaler." (cue the reveal of said sharks)
- At the end of the review, after the Critic gives his final thoughts on the movie:Critic: My only hope is that people will finally learn their lesson and stop making animated spinoffs of this shit! (the cover for In Search of the Titanic is shown) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
- When Connors and Ronnie leave the mice crew:
- Understatement:Grandpa's Wife: Enough is enough. Your grandfather loves to tell stories, but like all sailors, you shouldn't take it too seriously.
Critic: UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE FUCKING MILLENNIUM!
"Well, there's one thing I'm not, and that's a racist!"