Tamiko begins dating Keanu Reeves, but Reagan's efforts to be supportive are hindered when she learns Keanu's secret. Meanwhile, Rand tries to make a movie about himself to win Tamiko back.
Tropes:
- Accidental Truth: Rand suggests that people in Hollywood are monstrous people with dark secrets and that Keanu might not even be human. Turns out he's right.
- The Ace: Keanu Reeves. He's a Nice Guy who uses his wealth to make everyone happy with fabulous gifts, he knows kung-fu, and lotus flowers miraculously appears in his pockets. Despite secretly being a vampire, he even gives up his immortality out of love.
- Affably Evil: Keanu may be a vampire who's been maintaining his good looks for centuries by draining the blood from younger women, but there's no indication his Nice Guy behavior earlier was faked. He even grows to genuinely love Tamiko and is willing to renounce his vampirism.
- Affectionate Nickname: Tamiko and Keanu call each other "Koko" and "Nunu".
- Audience-Alienating Premise: In-Universe, Rand, Andre, Glenn, and Myc quickly realize that the concept of a movie with a badass protagonist turning into a baby with a grown woman having had sex with said baby is not a sellable concept that would make money or win over Tamiko.
- Astonishingly Appropriate Interruption: As Rand is about to describe how Tamiko will phrase them getting back together, Tamiko herself pops in declaring, "Who wants to meet my new boyfriend?".
- Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: As Mothman reprimands Reagan and Ron for not actually taking part in Anon-Anon while also attending, Reagan proceeds to turn on the light in the room, prompting him to stop and repeatedly fly into the light.
- Beethoven Was an Alien Spy: Turns out the reason why it seems like A-List actors like Keanu Reeves, Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, Bradley Cooper, Nicolas Cage, Larry David and Johnny Depp don't age isn't because of good lifestyle habits, expensive cosmetic surgery or Reptoids. They're actually vampires who use Illuminati Magitek that transfuses the blood of young women into them, making them immortal. It also explains why they are in the habit of dating women a fraction of their age, only for them to never be seen again shortly thereafter.
- But Not Too Foreign: Gigi refers to Keanu Reeves (who is 1/4 Chinese Hawaiian in real life) as looking Asian, but not so much that it threatens Middle America.
- Chekhov's Gun: After Rand insists his blood is plenty young, Reagan responds that the doctor stated a week ago that his blood is 4% cigarette ash and 9% STDs. This blood ends up killing the vampires at the end.
- Comically Missing the Point: As the vampires strap Tamiko to the machine to drink the blood of another young girlfriend, she let's out a little "aaw" for being the aforementioned girlfriend.
- Curse Cut Short: Subverted, as Rand proceeds to swear "mother-", the intro starts playing, only to be completed once it's over.
- Did You Just Have Sex?: Reagan's new upbeat, supportive attitude despite her father being in control of Cognito, as well as stating that she has a form of emotional release makes it pretty clear to the rest of the department that Reagan's been getting laid, to their mutual relief.
- Face Death with Dignity: As Keanu Reeves lies defeated and Reagan is about to stake him to death, his only reaction is serenely praising for doing her research and picking the right kind of wood. Averted by all the other vampires.
- Fan Disservice: At one point, Rand is doing action scenes while topless, which proves a problem because of his saggy man-boobs and potbelly. And when Reagan-as-Keanu tries to break up with Tamiko, she's showing off her sagging cleavage and then strips herself topless.
- Fountain of Youth: Rand wants to look younger and more attractive for his movie, so he has Andre make him a youth serum. While it succeeds in aging Rand down to his 20s, it backfires when he ages down even further to a toddler and later a baby.
- Freudian Slip: Ron accidentally says "groping mechanisms" instead of "coping mechanisms", something Reagan finds Endearingly Dorky.
- Hollywood Beauty Standards: Parodied. Reagan and Gigi can easily sneak into a Hollywood movie premiere by showing up to the red carpet with frumpy hair, no makeup, and ugly outfits, because they're essentially invisible to the photographers and security.
- Holy Burns Evil: Reagan tries to use a cross on Keanu, expecting the usual instance of this trope, but it doesn't work, as Keanu is "a pan-denominational Buddhist".
- Kinky Role-Playing: Reagan disguises herself as Keanu to reveal to Tamiko that Keanu is actually an immortal vampire looking to suck her blood for eternal youth. Unfortunately, Tamiko assumes he's just doing sexy roleplay, and Reagan blows her cover due to how disgusted she is.
- Love Redeems: Though Keanu is indeed a vampire as Reagan suspected, he reveals that he genuinely fell in love with Tamiko and decided to forsake drinking blood to live the rest of his life as a mortal with her. Unfortunately for him, Tamiko decides to break things off with him.
- The Makeover:
- First lampshaded: Reagan complains that fashionable and trendy Gigi is always trying to give her a makeover.Gigi: Why does Banksy make art on boring walls? The challenge.
- Then inverted: to look invisible on a red carpet, Reagan gives Gigi a makeunder (gives her frumpy hair and clothes).
- First lampshaded: Reagan complains that fashionable and trendy Gigi is always trying to give her a makeover.
- Making Love in All the Wrong Places: The other Anon-Anon meeters quickly lose their patience that Reagan and Ron spend all their time doing it in the janitor closet.
- Missing Reflection: When Reagan confronts Keanu in the bathroom, his reflection is missing.
- Parental Sexuality Squick: Reagan nearly breaks her Keanu disguise upon hearing that her mom and Keanu made love in the pool. When Tamiko actually does get naked and prepares to have sex with "Keanu," Reagan understandably blows her cover for real.
- Parent with New Paramour: Reagan's mother Tamiko complains that Reagan always judges and ruins her relationships. But this time, Reagan adores her mom's new boyfriend Keanu Reeves...until she finds out Keanu is a vampire, at which point she tries to destroy the relationship.
- Sheep in Sheep's Clothing: Reagan starts to warm up to the idea of Keanu Reeves dating her mother, only to accidentally discover that Keanu is secretly a vampire. However, it turns out that despite being a vampire, Keanu genuinely loves Tamiko and is willing to give up his immortality for her.
- Shout-Out: Quite a few references are made to movies Keanu Reeves previously starred in:
- His entrance into Cognito Inc. is in slow-motion and he blows kisses, just like his introduction in Always Be My Maybe.
- Comments about Tamiko's new relationship include Reagan joking that her mother has found the one ("just like in The Matrix") and Myc commenting that Tamiko is having a sexcellent adventure with Bill and Ted.
- Keanu has a tabby named Keanu after the cat in the movie Keanu, which he acknowledges was named after him.
- He has his own private Idaho-shaped pool.
- Single Woman Seeks Good Man: Brett manages to teach the Pussy Posse that women today respond better to actually listening to them instead of treating them like wild game.
- Take That!: To Hollywood celebrities only dating extremely younger women, something that here is depicted as literally monstrous. DiCaprio in particular (famous on the internet for not having girlfriends older than twenty-five) is described as the most bloodthirsty of them all.
- Too Spicy for Yog-Sothoth: Rand's blood, due to his lifetime of bad health decisions, ends up aging all the A-lister vampires to dust instantly on contact.
- Vampires Hate Garlic: Reagan uses garlic she snagged from Olive Garden to detain the vampire Keanu.
