Fiction
When Sigmund Freud's invited to a party
That's a party that will last and last
When Sigmund Freud's invited to a party
You should see the mess the morning aft
That's a party that will last and last
When Sigmund Freud's invited to a party
You should see the mess the morning aft
—Telex, "Sigmund Freud's Party"
Hank Hill: How come you didn't know you had another son? How many women have you slept with? Five? Six?
Cotton Hill: 273. But this isn't about sex, no sir. It's about Love... And sex.
Cotton Hill: 273. But this isn't about sex, no sir. It's about Love... And sex.
—King of the Hill, "Returning Japanese"
Gene: Serves you right for staying up rodding all night with that new fella of yours. Did you let his guide dog watch?
Phyllis: His guide dog's giving your mam one. From behind.
Gene: (rhetorically) Whatever happened to the classy birds?
Phyllis: His guide dog's giving your mam one. From behind.
Gene: (rhetorically) Whatever happened to the classy birds?
Bender: [on Henry Kissinger] Is he any good?
President Nixon's Head: Looking like that, he talked his way into Jill St. John's bed. Enough said.
President Nixon's Head: Looking like that, he talked his way into Jill St. John's bed. Enough said.
—Futurama, "War Is The H-Word"
He wasn't exactly in the best shape, and he had a combover that was rather... elaborate, but he had this air about him. This confidence that drew me toward him. He was who he was; he didn’t care.
—Sydney Prosser on Irving Rosenfeld, American Hustle
Spell my name! The ladies wanna B on D!
Any sex appeal you might have is beyond me!
Any sex appeal you might have is beyond me!
Look at me: looks are not important. Really look at me. I am ugly as fuck by traditional standards, but, I get with women. Aren't you curious as to how that's possible?
—Cal, The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Pretty lady, goofy man-a,
Opera man no understand-a,
Silly face but still he score-a,
Where have I seen this before-a?
Opera man no understand-a,
Silly face but still he score-a,
Where have I seen this before-a?
Gunnar: Maris ist unwiderstehlich.
Marta: (translating) "No me puede controlar. Maris es irresistible."
Frasier: (translating) "He couldn't help himself. Maris is irresistible." Irresistible?!
Marta: Unwiderstehlich?
Gunnar: Ja.
Marta: (translating) "Sí."
Frasier: Okay.
Marta: (translating) "No me puede controlar. Maris es irresistible."
Frasier: (translating) "He couldn't help himself. Maris is irresistible." Irresistible?!
Marta: Unwiderstehlich?
Gunnar: Ja.
Marta: (translating) "Sí."
Frasier: Okay.
Moxxie: You dated a pop star?
Blitzo: Okay, why are you all acting like that's such a shock?
Loona: Uh, hello? It's Verosika Mayday.
Millie: It's you.
Moxxie: I just...is she blind? Suffering some form of brain damage?
Blitzo: Okay, why are you all acting like that's such a shock?
Loona: Uh, hello? It's Verosika Mayday.
Millie: It's you.
Moxxie: I just...is she blind? Suffering some form of brain damage?
—Helluva Boss, "Spring Broken"
Real Life
Bill and I would like to do a song for you that, at one time, was our largest-selling hit record... It's called 'Muskrat Love', and every time I sing this song I think of Henry Kissenger.
I have always derived great comfort from William Shakespeare. After a depressing visit to the mirror or an unkind word from a girlfriend or an incredulous stare in the street, I say to myself: 'Well. Shakespeare looked like shit.' It works wonders.
—Martin Amis, Money
I refute and rebuff this whole ridiculous notion.
—Hugh Laurie on life as a sex symbol
Tony's sexy because he likes to fuck.
—James Gandolfini on Tony Soprano, Inside the Actor's Studio
I'm living proof that anybody can get laid.
Between the marriages, I shagged my way 'round television studios like a mechanical digger.
About two weeks after I moved to NYC, I went out with some dude I met on the Internet. We went to a bar and sometime during the date, we were talking about movies and he asked me what my favorite was. I told him the usual, Showgirls and Angel
. I asked him what his was and he spit out some movie called Monkey Shines. I had never heard of that shit before and he went on to tell me that it’s his favorite, because there’s a scene where Stanley Tucci is wearing nothing but a towel. I think his tip got extra moist when he said that. That opened up a can of Tucci. He went on to tell me that Stanley Tucci is his dream dude and he once dated a German guy who looked like a taller Stanley Tucci. The Tucci-a-like barely spoke English and my date barely spoke German. They had a hard time talking to each other, but they dated for over a year, because but my date just couldn’t break up with him since he looked like Stanley Tucci so much. He probably talked about Stanley Tucci for a good 20 minutes. I get it, Stanly Tucci is hot. But maybe you should want until date 2 to let me know you’re a Tuccihead.
. I asked him what his was and he spit out some movie called Monkey Shines. I had never heard of that shit before and he went on to tell me that it’s his favorite, because there’s a scene where Stanley Tucci is wearing nothing but a towel. I think his tip got extra moist when he said that. That opened up a can of Tucci. He went on to tell me that Stanley Tucci is his dream dude and he once dated a German guy who looked like a taller Stanley Tucci. The Tucci-a-like barely spoke English and my date barely spoke German. They had a hard time talking to each other, but they dated for over a year, because but my date just couldn’t break up with him since he looked like Stanley Tucci so much. He probably talked about Stanley Tucci for a good 20 minutes. I get it, Stanly Tucci is hot. But maybe you should want until date 2 to let me know you’re a Tuccihead.All you really need to know is that she’s Wonder Woman’s hot younger sister. And so of course, as you might expect from a description like that, she ends up dating and even marrying divorcee, complete failure and utter shameless creep Terry Long.
—Chris Sims on Donna Troy "The Worst Couples in Comics"
There's an attempt at a comedic subplot here where Uhura and Scotty have some kinda chemistry or sexual tension or somethin'. Later in the film, when Sybok frees her mind, Uhura begins to make awkward sexual advances toward Scotty.. Her mind is uninhibited, so she wants to fuck an old, fat white guy.
—Mr. Plinkett, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier rifftrack
THIS UGLY
SON OF A BITCH
Is Fucking
Super Hot Chicks
and basically,
you are fucking stupid
How? ...Just Watch The Free Video >
SON OF A BITCH
Is Fucking
Super Hot Chicks
and basically,
you are fucking stupid
How? ...Just Watch The Free Video >
— A porn ad that pretty much instantly became a meme
You see the thing is Jack is utterly grotesque, physically repulsive, and yet, still somewhat successful with women, even though he treats them like a herd of cattle. The line appears to be taken from Sid James Carry On Camp, where his own lewd humour was part of the game, but in the case of James there's something about him, a twinkle in the eye, a sense of danger, that might just explain why women are attracted to him. This is not remotely true for On the Buses' Jack though and I have had to come to the conclusion that his creation is some sort of absurd fuck you to notions of the masculine ideal.
Kat Ellinger, "Holiday on the Buses: A Very British Nightmare"
"Hannah: I don't think he's gonna have fans. Honestly, he... can I call you Patti? He is so funny-looking.
Patti LuPone: There's a lot of weirdos out there, honey. You know, the Elephant Man got laid... a lot.
Patti LuPone: There's a lot of weirdos out there, honey. You know, the Elephant Man got laid... a lot.
"Mr. Franklin, what would you say if this [Franklin's beer belly] was on a woman?"
"Madam, half an hour ago this was on a woman!"
"Madam, half an hour ago this was on a woman!"
—Reported conversation between a society woman and Benjamin Franklin
