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Quotes / Atrocious Alias

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"Yes, with these heathens at my command, the kingdoms of the world shall bow to the might of... THE LORD OF GOATS! (Beat) ...I may have to work on the title a bit more."

"[For some reason] Everyone thinks I'm a joke! 'Uh hello Pixie Lad, Where's Captain Steel?'"
Does This Cape Make Me Look Fat? by Chelsea Cain and Marc Mohan

Tali: Shepard, this is Admiral Zaal'Koris vas Qwib-Qwib. (Do NOT ask about the name.)
Shepard: You have a ship called 'Qwib-qwib'?
Tali: Oh, here we go...

"Hey partner, is your real name 'Suck One', or did your parents just fuckin' hate you?"
Fred Neuman on Suk Kwan, Dead Head Fred

Homer: See, I got this friend named...Joey Jo-Jo...Junior...Shabadoo.
Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
[a man leaves, weeping]
Barney: Hey, Joey Jo-Jo!
The Simpsons "The Last Temptation of Homer"

"Hey, you'd know what would be a better name than the Gay Ghost? Anything. I mean c'mon now, seriously..."

"Is this supposed to make me afraid of Crystal Boy? Because his name is still Crystal Boy."
slowbeef, Space Adventures!note 

Drift: Dent? He called himself Dent? As in—as in Dent?
Ratchet: Yeah, well, all the best names are taken.

Spider-Man: "Paste-Pot Pete"?
Paste-Pot Pete: Yes! And I—
Spider-Man: Wuh-wuh-wu-hahahahahaha! Paste-Pot Pee-hee-hee! (continues laughing)
Paste-Pot Pete: Hey...
Spider-Man: Henh heh heh (*hack*) Oh! Think I just shot some webs outta my nose.
Paste-Pot Pete: Shut up! Before I—
Spider-Man: Wait! One second. Hoo boy. Ah. Okay. Alright, I'm ready now, really...
Spider-Man: No I'm not! BWAH HAHAHA! Paste-Pot Pee-hee hee hee dee-hee hee heenh! (laugh hysterically)
Paste-Pot Pete: (walking away angrily) That's it. I'm changin' my name.
Spider-Man: Man, I needed that.
Spider-Man/Human Torch #1

Travis Touchdown: Let all your shitty fish friends know! You don't fuck with Cool Hand Teasy Greasy!
Fen: You're seriously going with that?

Otto Osworth: 'Stinky Pile of Poo'?! Sir, that's a TERRIBLE name!
The Earl of Sandwich: It was my mother's maiden name!

"Granted, it is a mundane name, but 'Kilgrave?' Talk about obvious. Was 'Murdercorpse' already taken?"
Jessica Jones, Jessica Jones (2015)

Taserface: It is time for the Ravagers to once again rise to glory with a new Captain: TASERFACE!
Ravagers: [cheer enthusiastically]
Rocket: [laughing] I-I-I'm sorry, I'm-... Your name, i-it's Taserface?
Taserface: That's right.
Rocket: Do you... shoot tasers outta your face?
Taserface: [extravagantly] IT'S METAPHORICAAAAAAAL!
Ravagers: [cheer enthusiastically]
Rocket: [genuinely curious] For what?
Taserface: For... it is a name what strikes fear into the hearts of anyone what hears it!
Ravagers: [half-hearted sounds of agreement]
Rocket: I just keep imagining you waking up in the morning, sir, looking in the mirror, and in all seriousness saying to yourself, [super-gruff voice] "Y'know what would be a REALLY kickass name? TASERFACE!!!" [normal voice] What was your second choice? "Scrotumhat"?!
Ravagers: [break out laughing]

Wizard Say my name so my powers will flow through you.
Billy Batson: But I don't know your name, sir.
Wizard: [whispering] SHAZAM.
Billy Batson: [giggling] Are you for real?

Mysterio: You are no match for the power of Mysterio!
Spider-Man: Mysterio? I think I had a bowl of Mysterios for breakfast.

Jim: Wait, I know you. You're Unkar the Unfortunate.
Unkar: That's the name that stuck!? I was hoping for "Unkar the Ultimate!"

She should've just called herself Daphne of Sunshine, like Neville of Chaos. Or Sunny Daphne like Sunny Ron. Or anything except Greengrass of Sunshine.
Greengrass of Sunshine.
It had gone from there to Greengrass of Sunshine and Blue Skies.
Then someone had added Snow-Topped Mountains and Frolicking Woodland Creatures.
Currently she was being referred to as the Sparkly Unicorn Princess of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Sparklypoo.


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