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Literature / Smirvlak's Stone

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Nick: "I-I read this in stories many times, Gnek. Some ordinary person finds this extraordinary item. Then his or her life is turned upside-down. Then lots of people die. I don't want that to happen to us."
Gnek: "Nick, those are just stories. Do you really believe that's gonna happen to us?"
Nick and Gnek Corveel, foreshadowing the overall story.

Smirvlak's Stone is a High Fantasy web novel written by Tyk 5919, and the first entry for the Smirvlak Trilogy.

In the mythical kingdom of Glordale, two goblin brothers stumble upon a magical and powerful relic that can be used for good or evil. But when the brothers find out that the relic was stolen from a vicious tribe of murderous gnolls, they soon find themselves in a race against time to deliver the stone to safety before the gnolls can reacquire it and use it for nefarious purposes.


Smirvlak's Stone provides examples of:

  • Aerith and Bob: The Corveel brothers. The younger one is named Nickolas, while his older brother is named Gnekvizz.
  • Ambiguous Disorder: No one knows what's wrong with Nick mentally, as he's socially awkward, is oblivious to reality, and is constantly dependent of his brother. He's considered a "retard," despite showing that he's much smarter than many would assume, right down to identifying himself as The Anti-Nihilist. At worst, Nick comes off as a Cloudcuckoolander or a Manchild.
  • Ambiguously Gay: It's implied Wervin and Loxx may have been lovers, judging how Loxx broke down sobbing hysterically after he died and how Lorko called Wervin Loxx's "friend."
  • Annoying Arrows: Downplayed. Stilyk gets shot with an arrow in chapter 11 and shrugs it off. The next chapter reveals that he's been suffering from abdominal pain, and he admits he needs to find a doctor soon because he knows how easily his wound can get infected.
  • Beware the Silly Ones:
    • After Stilyk teaches Nick how to be an Action Survivor, he ends up being forced to kill a few Mooks in chapter 11, which doesn't even faze him. And out of everyone in the story, Nick is the one who ultimately subdued and slew Lorko Maeliss.
    • On a lesser note, Mulvernt. Despite invoking lots of crude scatological humor and being a generally nice beast, Mulvernt isn't afraid to defend himself if need be. As demonstrated when he wipes out a third of the Yellow Fang when they try to kill him.
  • Big Bad: Gnekvizz Corveel is the true villain of the story.
  • Breather Episode: Inverted. Most of the story consists of world building, character introductions and development, some Scenery Porn, and occasional Toilet Humour. Anytime Lorko Maeliss and his minions show up, though, everything is taken seriously and the tone immediately darkens.
  • Bring My Brown Pants: Nick shits himself while he's suffering from a mental breakdown shortly after finding Stilyk's body.
  • Can't Kill You, Still Need You: Subverted: After Nick tells Gnek to go ahead and kill him, Gnek actually stops Brynnard from killing him, because he still thinks he has use for him. But when Nick thoroughly explains that he sees no purpose in life, Gnek realizes he can't do anything to change his brother's mind, and he slits his throat.
  • Cerebus Syndrome: Chapter 14 onwards makes it very clear that the previous lighthearted tone of the story has been eradicated.
  • Chekhov's Skill: In chapter 10, Stilyk tells Nick (after he punched him in the crotch) that groin attacks are purely pragmatic and okay to perform if you're out of options. When Nick is naked, defenseless, and getting orally raped by Lorko Maeliss, Nick resorts to biting off the gnoll's penis.
  • Combat Pragmatist: Stilyk admits in chapter 10 that he can't fight at all. He's spent his entire life defending himself by attacking his foes using any means necessary, as he explains to Nick.
    Stilyk: "Don't you dare let someone tell you that you fight without honor or you fought 'dirty' just because you won a fight using unorthodox methods. That just makes you smart."
  • Cyclops: Mulvernt is one, although he's actually friendly deep down.
  • Deconstructed Character Archetype:
    • Lorko Maeliss serves as one for a Bad Boss. When first introduced, he's seen killing one of his gnolls over a miniscule mistake, and expects his horde to continue following him. As the story progresses, he keeps berating and killing his own gnolls for even attempting to speak out against him, or for not doing what he asks, and not once does he ever own up to his mistakes. It gets so bad that Nessla, Lorko's primary advisor, gathers up what's left of Lorko's horde, and all but twenty members desert him.
    • Nickolas Corveel is one for a Wide-Eyed Idealist. Despite knowing that tragedy occurs within the world, Nick constantly chooses to see the brighter side of life. Even when other characters repeatedly tell him that the world isn't all sunshine and rainbows, he either ignores them or can't comprehend what they're talking about. So when Nick is raped by Lorko, discovers that Stilyk was murdered, finds out that Gnek killed his parents, and realizes that a secret cult is trying to summon a demonic entity, Nick ceases to find any purpose in life, and demands to be killed. His brother murders him minutes later.
  • Decoy Protagonist: Nickolas Corveel has nothing to do with the trilogy as a whole, despite the large amount of screentime and Character Development he undergoes in this story. He's killed off in the final chapter, and the epilogue reveals two new characters implied to be the protagonists in the sequel.
  • Depraved Homosexual: Lorko Maeliss is one of the main villains who tends to Rape, Pillage, and Burn as he pleases. While it's not outright confirmed, he shows no sexual interest in females, and only tends to rape male characters.
  • Despair Event Horizon: Nick in the final chapter. After getting raped by Lorko, finding out Stilyk was killed, discovering that his brother Gnek is trying to resurrect a demon, followed by Gnek accidentally revealing that he was the one who killed their parents, Nick gives up on life entirely, and tells his brother to just go ahead and kill him.
  • Disc-One Final Boss: Despite being The Heavy, Lorko Maeliss' role in the story has nothing to do with the plot of the trilogy as a whole. He's killed off in chapter 14, conveniently before it's revealed that Gnekvizz is the real villain.
  • Downer Ending: Stilyk is murdered by Gnek off-screen. Nick finds out that his brother murdered their parents and is secretly part of a cult that wants to resurrect the demon Smirvlak so they can destroy all life in the world. Upon finding all this out, Nick is so broken that he tells his brother to kill him, and he does. Even worse, Gnek and his team confirm that they only need to find one more stone before they're able to summon Smirvlak.
  • Dropped a Bridge on Him:
    • It's off-handedly mentioned that Aldar Monílyk was killed by an orc in chapter 11.
    • Stilyk Cruun is unceremoniously killed off-screen by Gnek.
  • The Dung Ages: The narration does not shy away from detailing the poor hygiene in Glordale. Several characters and races are noted for smelling awful and living in filthy and/or malodorous environments, and dumping the contents of a chamber pot out into the middle of the street, or urinating right on the floor of a tavern, is commonplace.
  • Epic Fail: Lorko orders the Yellow Fang tribe to attack Mulvernt, who is a colossal cyclops several meters taller than your average gnoll. It goes as well as you'd think it would.
  • Establishing Character Moment:
    • Nickolas Corveel is introduced by complaining about how demons have entered his stomach and are trying to kill him, moments before he vomits and soils his trousers.
    • When Lorko Maeliss first shows up, he's tortured one of his minions for a minor failure and then kills him, shortly before he uses dark magic to brainwash a child into killing her parents off-screen.
  • Evil All Along: Gnekvizz was behind everything. He secretly baited Nick and Stilyk into heading to Erelorn under the false pretense of giving the stone to the proper authorities. In reality, he was luring both of them towards his cult of villians who want to resurrect the demon Smirvlak and cause Armaggedon. By the time Nick figures this out, it's already too late.
  • Excrement Statement: In chapter 8, an ogre defecates into his own hand before throwing his feces at an elven statue, shouting that elves are "fackin' shit-eaters."
  • Farts on Fire: A recurring Noodle Incident reveals that one of the goblins in Nick and Gnek's village set himself on fire after lighting his farts and died.
  • Fish People: The fiscians are bipedal, fish-like beasts who tend to travel in packs.
  • Food Porn: Some of the dishes Nick, Gnek, and Stilyk eat throughout the story are thoroughly descriptive and detailed.
  • Gasshole: Nick is incredibly gassy, and enjoys shamelessly farting after eating a huge meal or just to annoy Gnek and Stilyk.
  • Get It Over With: Nick doesn't even try to fight Gnek after he reveals that he killed their parents. He just tells him to hurry up and kill him, because he has nothing left to live for anymore.
  • Groin Attack: Nick bites off Lorko's penis while he's orally raping him.
  • Heinous Hyena: The Yellow Fang tribe is a large horde of gnolls, which are violent, anthropomorphic, hyena-like beasts.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: The fiscians waste no time devouring Swolotch Bollon's body after Lorko kills him, even though Bollon is a fiscian himself.
  • Kill the Cutie: Nick, the kind, obliviously optimistic, silly goblin, is killed off in the final chapter.
  • Killed Offscreen: Stilyk is murdered off-screen at some point in chapter 14. It's later revealed that Gnek attacked him from behind and slit his throat.
  • Knight of Cerebus: Lorko Maeliss. Nothing about his character is comical, and everytime he shows up, the story's tone darkens and lots of people start dying.
  • Lizard Folk: Stilyk Cruun is a stilio, an anthropomorphic lizard-like beast.
  • MacGuffin Escort Mission: The Corveel brothers get their hands on the eponymous stone in chapter 2. The rest of the story is about the two of them and Stilyk heading to the kingdom of Erelorn before the gnolls can get it again.
  • Our Dragons Are Different: Dragons seem intelligent in the story and possess the ability to speak. Some of them, according to Stilyk, despise stilios for not being "pure dragons" and will only defend the drako race (which are anthropomorphic dragon beasts).
  • Our Goblins Are Different: For starters, goblins are considered to be part of the lower class of society. Not too many races like goblins, most of them are considered to be annoying cretins and thieves, and the ones who do manage to get some form of a job are either mundane or disgusting, such as scooping dung off the streets. They're also very filthy and smell horrible.
  • Potty Failure:
    • Nick violently shits himself in the first chapter while vomiting simultaneously.
    • Chapter 13 features a drunken troll wetting himself before passing out in his own urine.
  • Reality Ensues:
    • Lorko Maeliss and the Yellow Fang try to kill Mulvernt, who is a colossal cyclops much taller than all of them. Mulvernt slaughters a third of the tribe and only gets a few scratches.
    • Towards the end of chapter 11, Lorko is wounded in battle, but still musters enough energy to scream at his minions for how weak and dim-witted they are. They he violently throws up on the ground after his adrenaline has run its course, and passes out.
    • After Lorko kills several of his minions, berates them for how stupid they are, and foists all of his failures on them, most of his tribe decides he's not worth following anymore and leave the Yellow Fang horde.
    • The fiscian tribe Lorko recruits are all physically weak and barely know how to fight and defend themselves due to malnourishment. When they assist Lorko in raiding a village, they succeed with hardly any casualties. When they're attacked by aggressive, highly-trained, brutish orcs, the entire tribe is slain with little difficulty.
    • Stilyk realizes very early on that something is wrong with Gnek, and he's hiding a dark secret. Later on, Stilyk catches Gnek raping someone in an alley—and Gnek finds out that Stilyk clearly saw him. Gnek doesn't wait for Stilyk to tell his brother what happened; he murders him the second an opportunity presents itself.
    • Nick is a socially-inept Wide-Eyed Idealist who is constantly dependent of his brother, and still traumatized over their parents getting killed. When Nick finds out that his brother, whom he loved so dearly, killed their parents, and is trying to summon a demon, he gives up on life altogether and doesn't even try to stop Gnek. He outright tells him to go ahead and kill him, because he has no one and nothing left to live for.
    • On a similar note, after Gnek hears what Nick told him, he's baffled at first and is hesitant to kill him, because he still wants to use him in his evil schemes. But when Gnek realizes that there's nothing he can say or do to change Nick's mind, he goes through with killing him without the slightest bit of reluctance.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: After Nessla realizes how crazy Lorko has become, and how prone he is to killing his own minions over the slightest of reasons, she gathers up most of what's left of his dwindling tribe and leaves the Yellow Fang.
  • Smelly Feet: In chapter 4, Nick comes across a pair of giant orange rocks and comments about how one of them stinks, and the other smells like moldy cheese. He finds out seconds later that the "rocks" in question were actually Mulvernt's giant feet.
  • Those Two Bad Guys: Wervin and Loxx, the two gnolls who are never seen apart. It's implied shortly after Wervin dies and Loxx breaks down sobbing that they're either family relatives or lovers.
  • Toilet Humour: Most of the gross, scatological humor comes from Nick, who's very flatulent, or Mulvernt the titan-sized cyclops, who at one point squats down and take a colossal dump in the middle of the forest.
  • Undignified Death: Lorko Maeliss is killed by Nick, of all characters, after he bites off his penis, and then stabs him to death while he's screaming hysterically and bleeding out on the floor of a ship's cabin.
  • Wham Episode: The final three chapters contrast the overall tone of the story, with good reason.
    • Chapter 14. Lorko Maeliss and what's left of the Yellow Fang sneak onto the Sucre and start massacring everybody. During said massacre, Lorko finds and rapes Nick, shortly before Nick himself overpowers Lorko and kills him. He also finds out that Stilyk was murdered by the hyenas off-screen and proceeds to have a mental breakdown. Although he and Gnek eventually escape the ship before it sinks, it's clear that Nick is traumatized and may not recover.
    • Chapter 15. Gnek finally explains to Nick how their parents died, and how he inadvertently got them killed and was raped in the process. Nick forgives his brother regardless, but shortly after, both of them are kidnapped by an unknown group of hostiles...which Gnek is secretly allied with.
    • Chapter 16 sets up events for the next two novels to come and makes it very clear that Nothing Is the Same Anymore. Gnek reveals that he and his cohorts want to summon the demon Smirvlak because they've all lost faith in the world and want to eradicate all life on the planet. He also accidentally reveals to Nick that he lied in the previous chapter, and that he was the one who killed their parents—along with Stilyk. Nick is so broken by all of this that he tells his brother to go ahead and kill him, which he does.
  • Wham Line:
    • In Chapter 14, one single line suddenly throws Gnek's entire character into question:
    Stilyk: "Did he rape you?"
    • This line towards the end of the last chapter, which truly cements how hopeless the situation has become.
    Nick: "Just shut up and fuckin' kill me."
  • You Need a Breath Mint: Both Nick and Gnek, along with Lorko, are told multiple times throughout the story by different characters that their breath stinks.
  • Zerg Rush: Lorko tries to kill a giant cyclops by throwing all of his soldiers at the beast. It doesn't work.


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