Blott On the Landscape is a novel written by Tom Sharpe and published in 1975.
Sir Giles Lynchwood, an English politician who has enriched himself through serial monogamy, finds himself stuck. Handyman Hall, the ancestral home of his latest wife, Lady Maud, is not for sale. His attempts to provoke her into a no-fault divorce, reverting the home to him, are taking too long. His solution: secretly arrange for a motorway to be built through the Hall's location in Cleene Gorge.
Lady Maud determines to fight the project tooth and nail. She finds a willing ally in Blott, the home's gardener. A German former POW, he is fiercely loyal to his adopted homeland, and sees Cleene Gorge as a microcosm of England. He also falls in love with Maud.
Enter Dundridge, a buttoned-down official sent from London to smooth things over. When he suggests a viable compromise, Sir Giles sets out to bend him to his will, Lady Maud seeks to get to know him better, and Blott gets very jealous. It's hard to tell who does the most damage.
Like many of Sharpe's novels, Blott is a Farce. It has compromising bondage photos, rioting, sustained misunderstandings, full frontal nudity, out-of-control demolition vehicles...did we mention the rhinoceros?
A TV mini-series based on the book was produced by The BBC in 1985. It stars George Cole, Geraldine James, David Suchet, Simon Cadell, Julia McKenzie and Paul Brooke.
Unmarked spoilers ahead. Proceed with caution.
Blott on the Landscape provides examples of the following tropes:
- Accent Slip-Up: When playing the aggrieved country gent for Dundridge, Sir Giles bungs on a rural accent that doesn't so much slip as spin through every point on the compass.
- The Ace: Blott can wiretap phones, take professional-quality photographs, impersonate Sir Giles's voice well enough to fool his stockbrokers, and turn his lodgings into an impregnable fortress from which he single-handedly sees off a nighttime SAS raid. Wasn't much of an aerial navigator though.
- Adaptational Nationality: The TV series changes Blott from German to East European. The more recent setting makes him too young to have served in the Luftwaffe.
- Anti-Hero: The author in no way plays down the ruthless, reckless and even downright lawless actions of either Lady Maud or Blott.
- Big Beautiful Woman: Blott's attraction to Lady Maud is in part due to her matronly figure. Even Dundridge is (very temporarily) taken with her. Sir Giles, and the author, not so much.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Sir Giles unleashes one on his brokers after they are tricked into selling a swathe of his shares at rock bottom. One of them lampshades it after Giles leaves.
- Community-Threatening Construction: The motorway.
- Construction Vehicle Rampage: Blott instigates one with a drunken wrecking-ball crane driver, in an attempt to sabotage the motorway project.
- Create Your Own Villain: Had Lady Maud's night-time meeting with Dundridge at Handyman Hall been strictly business, they probably could have resolved the whole motorway nonsense together in a swift, just and painless way. Instead, she overestimates his feelings towards her and makes a pass at him that sends him fleeing in horror. To make matters worse a jealous Blott slashes Dundridges's car tyres and, when Maud spurns his white-knighting, fires a shotgun into the air in rage while Dundridge is still on Maud's property. Thereafter Dundridge's Face–Heel Turn is sealed; he decides It's Personal and resolves to ram the motorway through Cleene Gorge come what may.
- Dragon Ascendant: Dundridge is initially the hapless puppet of Sir Giles and Hoskins. By the third act, with their blackmail threat neutralised, he is beyond their control and becomes the story's primary antagonist.
- Epic Fail: Hoping to whip up public opposition to the motorway, Blott spends a day getting the road crew drunk and persuades one of them to take him on a Construction Vehicle Rampage through town. Result? Two innocent people are killed, Lady Maud chews Blott out and starts shunning him, the scandal quickly fizzles out and work on the motorway proceeds regardless.
- Epunymous Title: A "blot on the landscape" is an eyesore in an otherwise attractive environment. Ironically, this is precisely what Blott is working against.
- "Eureka!" Moment: Practically a Running Gag:
- Sir Giles' figure-eight doodle of a cat gives him the idea of the motorway.
- Dundridge's train journey to Worfordshire inspires the idea of building a tunnel under the Gorge.
- Sir Giles pushes for the alternative Ottertown route in earnest when he realises it could give the local member a heart attack. His party, fearing this, would reverse the decision, re-routing the motorway through Cleene Gorge themselves and leaving Sir Giles smelling of roses.
- A lion's-head carving inspires Lady Maud to set up a wildlife park to obstruct the motorway.
- When Hoskins covertly tells Sir Giles that blackmailing Dundridge is no longer an option, his cryptic talk of fire inspires Sir Giles to burn Handyman Hall down.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Hoskins is a corrupt, two-faced, blackmailing creep, yet he is appalled at the damage done by the Construction Vehicle Rampage which he incorrectly blames on Dundridge. He is also alarmed at Dundridge's eagerness to continue the motorway work and callous attitude towards Lady Maud when she has just been widowed.
- Foreshadowing: At the motorway enquiry, Lady Maud makes a loud remark about humans being the only species that isn't protected. Later, she holds up construction by installing a wildlife park on her property.
- Forgetful Jones: Miss Forthby is frightfully absent-minded, on one occasion going to the opera while Sir Giles was still trussed up in her bed. Sir Giles plans to use her forgetfulness, along with sleeping pills, to gaslight her into giving him an alibi for burning down Handyman Hall.
- George Jetson Job Security: Dundridge summarily dismisses Hoskins for dropping him in it over the wrecking ball disaster. Seconds later, when he hears about Lady Maud's new wildlife park, he changes his mind, clearly deciding he needs all the help he can get.
- Heroic BSoD: Lady Maud starts going through the motions of her various duties when she realises her fight against the motorway has cost people their lives. Even the death of Sir Giles leaves her shaken.
- Idyllic English Village: Cleene Gorge and its surroundings, in the fictitious rural county of Worfordshire.
- I'm Standing Right Here: At a camera shop, Lady Maud asks for a model simple enough for "a complete idiot" to operate. Blott, who is to be taking the pictures and actually knows a thing or two about photography, manages to keep his offence to himself while requesting something more advanced.
- Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain: Dundridge is in over his head almost from the word go. Manipulated, obstructed, threatened, sexually harrassed, wrongfully accused, openly disrespected by his superiors, and the closest thing to an ally he has is the bloke who arranged his blackmail. No wonder the author throws him a bone at the end, with Dundridge preferring imprisonment to the outside world.
- Karma Houdini: Hoskins takes bribes from Sir Giles to help with the motorway project and organise Dundridge's blackmail. He gets away scot free. Even the eventual cancellation of the motorway is no skin off his nose.
- Keep the Reward: Miss Forthby helps Lady Maud set up Sir Giles but can't bring herself to accept the cheque Maud offers her.
- Lady of War: Lady Maud is an old-money aristocrat who stares down fully grown lions, and whose readiness to settle matters with her bare hands sends Sir Giles and Dundridge fleeing on separate occasions.
- Mistaken Nationality: In the book, Blott is from Germany but everyone assumes he is Italian. Since his past includes stints in the Hitler Youth and the Luftwaffe, he is in no hurry to correct anyone.
- Non-Action Big Bad: Sir Giles is a schemer, not one to get his own hands dirty and not in the best physical shape. This becomes all too brutally clear when he tries to burn down Handyman Hall.
- Only in It for the Money: Hoskins doesn't care whether Handyman Hall stands or falls, as long as he gets paid. Preferably in cash.
- Pointless Civic Project: Sir Giles initiates the motorway purely to get rid of Handyman Hall and receive compensation.
- Powerful People Are Subs: Rich, influential Sir Giles has a bondage submission fetish indulged by his meek, obliging dominatrix mistress, Miss Forthby.
- Red Herring: In-universe, Sir Giles and Hoskins conspire to put forth Ottertown as an alternative motorway route, knowing full well it is completely unsuitable. Lady Maud sees right through it, and names the trope twice.
- Sexless Marriage: Sir Giles refuses to consummate his nuptials, hoping to provoke Lady Maud to divorce him and thereby grant him full ownership of Handyman Hall. Furthermore, Maud's overeager application of Kinky Spanking on their wedding night put paid to any trace of physical desire he might have had toward her.
- Slipping a Mickey:
- How Dundridge is posed for the photographs used to blackmail him.
- Sir Giles gives Miss Forthby a drink laced with soporifics, so she'll sleep through an entire day and thus provide him with an alibi.
- Sympathetic Adulterer: Sir Giles is far from sympathetic but his mistress, Miss Forthby, is the sweetest and most lovable of the main characters. Lady Maud herself bears her no ill will, even complimenting her willingness to indulge her husband's kinks.
- Tacky Tuxedo: At a menswear shop Blott tries on a salmon-coloured tweed suit. Lady Maud vetoes it on sight.
- Take a Third Option: Dundridge proposes routing the motorway through a tunnel under Cleene Gorge, to the delight of Lady Maud and the fury of Sir Giles.
- A Taste of Their Own Medicine: Sir Giles nips Dundridge's tunnel idea in the bud with the help of some obscene photographs. Later, Lady Maud and Blott take some pictures of Sir Giles in his BDSM state, to use as leverage over him.
- Unishment: Dundridge ends up liking the monotony and greyness of prison life.
- Unwanted Rescue: On the night of Lady Maud's attempted seduction of Dundridge, Blott mistakes her laughter for cries of distress, and rushes over with his shotgun and bedroom slippers to defend her. He finds her alone, unmolested, free as a bird and in danger of nothing except getting cold. She gives him a rather haughty dressing-down and sends him off.
- Uptown Girl: Blott, the Lynchwood's gardener, falls in love with Lady Maud. They marry at the end.
- Would Hit a Girl: Sir Giles blacks both of Miss Forthby's eyes for leaving him tied to the bed alone for Lady Maud and Blott to find.
