This is a work in progress. If you have any parts of the game that make you laugh, post 'em here.
- This interesting gem from Nutaku, if you flirt with her when your relationship status is at Awkward Besties:"I don't know why calling someone a pussy means they're weak and sensitive. Those things can take a pounding!"
- Nutaku is quite skilled at artfully turning just about anything she says into a Double Entendre, but sometimes, she completely ignores her own setup and just goes for broke."Nice shoes. Want to do anal?"
"If I said you had a nice body, would you tie me up and have your way with me?" - Nutaku openly acknowledges that she's a character in a dating sim. In fact, you meet her by playing a dating sim when she abruptly and literally comes crashing through the Fourth Wall. She's named for one of the sites the game is hosted on, and mentions that she's supposed to plug the other games they offer.
- One line of dialogue when you give Nutaku a gift at Lover level:Nutaku: OOH my goodness! Umm. I mean... thaaaank you!
- Nutaku is quite skilled at artfully turning just about anything she says into a Double Entendre, but sometimes, she completely ignores her own setup and just goes for broke.
- Cassie spends most of her first relationship level fuming at you, but occasionally switches to complaining about her wearing only bandages, which can yield:"Oh good, I always wanted my breasts to be seen by total strangers. Check mark that fucking box!"
- This gets funnier when you reach the Lover rank, as she will sometimes hint that she has an exhibitionism fetish, and specifically wants to show her breasts to total strangers.
"I just want to cruise around with my top down... hee hee, you KNOW what I mean!" - The sheer difference between where your relationship with Cassie starts and ends is underscored when she ponders writing a relationship advice book. The title? "Attracting People Through Hostility".
- The glimpses of the future society we get from Fumi can rapidly fluctuate between hilarious, horrifying, and hilariously horrifying. Of note, trees have been declared legally sentient, Stephen Hawking became the first God-Emperor of Earth, there exists a league of time traveling librarian assassins, and having three breasts is the norm for women.
- Anything out of Bearverly's mouth, considering she's literally a full-size brown bear in a bonnet. Making it even more hilarious is her Miss Piggy-esque voice."BEARVERLY EXHAUSTED FROM UGLY CRYING."
"BEARVERLY'S FEELINGS DELICATE, LIKE BEAUTIFUL FLOWER."- A truly spectacular one comes from her Lovers scene, where the game bluntly acknowledges they aren't touching a sex scene with a completely realistic bear with a hundred-foot pole.
"SORRY IF YOU WERE HOPING FOR SEXY TIME WITH OTHER FORM. THIS GAME NOT GO THERE."- Bearverly's opinion of Winnie the Pooh:"WHY IS WINNIE CALLED POOH? POO COMES FROM BUTTS! HE IS CRAP BEAR!"
- The voice acting update gives most of the girls a voice you'd expect, given their personalities. Bearverly, however, sounds like Ms. Piggy.
- One of Elle's 'thanks for the gift' emotes is "Thank you, it's a very thoughtful gift. I especially like that it won't cut me if I fall on it." She says this line, even when you buy her a drink, represented by the image of a cocktail glass!
- Practically all of the things that Iro says when she's in the nude are hilarious!"Boobs! (laughs) Seriously though, who doesn't love boobs? Nazis, probably."
"You were probably wondering if the carpet matched the drapes. Well, joke's on you! There's no carpet, only hardwood fl— wait, no! Ack! No! Analogy gone bad!"
"Caution - boobs on the loose!"
"Haha! Let's hit a nude beach and give the tourists something to look at!"
"If you'll forgive a girl a little humble brag, but one upside to being an athlete is, I look goooood naked!"
"Hey, watch this - my boobs look ridiculous when I run!"
"Alright, I'm warmed up, well hydrated, and ready for action. Let's do this!" - When Iro is given the Diamond Ring, the first thing she talks about is the open bar.
- Sometimes when flipping through the girls' portraits, you'll catch Nutaku singing to herself. Dually funny because it suggests her nympho tendencies may just be an act. And, it's a reference to Moxxi from the Borderlands series.Nutaku: Bubbles and birds... BUBBLES and birds... Ooh! You caught me out of character.
- Ayano's portrait will occasionally change briefly to a Nightmare Face while you're on another girl's page. It's even funnier when it occurs in sync of advancing a relationship level with one of the other girls.
- When nude, Ayano can make a comment about a lack of places to hide screwdrivers. Which is hilarious, because in Yandere Simulator, she can supposedly hide her weapons in her unmentionables.
- Other gems of nude Ayano include:
"I'm so happy you get to see me like this. I practiced being naked in front of the mirror."
"You can put a baby inside of me if you want. I mean—we can make love!"
"I've dreamed of this day for so long. Even in my nightmares.""Yes! Put your hands on me! Choke me a little, if you want!" - In Eva's universe, their version of an A.T. field is called FEELS. Having too many FEELS may send one on a FEEL-trip.
- Quill likes beaches, because she loves sand. For reasons she can and cannot tell you about.
- Pretty much whenever one of the girls mentions one of the other girls. More than a few of them seem unsure of what to make of Quill or Bearverly.
- Especially when it involves Ayano, since the girls often don't seem to understand and/or care that someone is attempting to murder them. The main exception being Bearverly of all people.
"BEARVERLY IS TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE!" - Darya on Ayano. Her accent and demeanour make it even funnier:“There is a human girl spreading rumors about my proclivities. I shall attempt to respond in kind. Ayano has a penis.”
- Vellatrix on Ayano."I'm going to curse your serial killer to a fate worse than death... An infinite development cycle for her game. Mwa ha ha!"
- From the Phone Flings:
- Some of the responses you can choose involve you mentioning game mechanics. Unlike the 'main' girls, the Phone Flings don't quite understand what you mean when you refer to them.
- After you get to a certain level in your relationship with Bearverly, you get a text from a childhood friend. Late in the conversation, she dares you to kiss a bear, and you can send her a picture or three which apparently prove you completed your dare.
- The messages from Sawyer are bound to bring laughs, as they make her come across as an Adorkable Moe filled with nothing but awkwardness, especially when it comes to the second pic from her.
- Brie is cute but ditzy, especially when she thinks about cheese. Notably, during the Phone Fling portion of you encountering her, you constantly warn her about the fallacy of the Cheesy Moon myth, but she keeps missing the point, with her only finally figuring it out when she breaks a tooth on the very rock-like moon rock.
- Most of Nina's dialogue is hilarious."Bonnibel dropped off some cookies for ye. I ate 'em. I have no regrets."
"The police dropped by lookin' for a masked vigilante. I cleared your internet history and pretended not to speak English."
"Oh! You caught me doing some actual cleaning. The upstairs bathroom has been declared a national disaster zone. I'm going in!"
"Some creeper said my hair reminded him of an autumn sunrise. I punched him in the nose and said he reminded me of failure."
"Bloody hell! I found a butcher's knife in me shower today. What sort of party did you have last night?"
"Ye have the scariest tax return I've ever seen. Why do you have so many jobs? HOW do ye have so many jobs. Are ye daft? Well, I can't argue with billions of dollars. No really, I've tried. It's time consumin'!"
"Ye've made quite a bit of progress. I dare say ye might even be quite the catch. Are ye feelin' fishy? Great! Channel yer inner sturgeon! Embrace the tuna in yer heart. Or whatever. I might be drunk."
"Ye've got a brave heart to tickle me, Boss! I've got the reflexes of a Japanese Ninja, and the temper of a Drunken Scot."
"I must say Boss, the holiday dress code has my approval. Want to get trashed on eggnog?"
"That movie was so testosterone packed, I was expecting to leave with a mustache. Let's go see it in 3D!"
"I cook. I clean. I do basic auto repair. Stock consultations. CPR. Wine makin'. Bitcoin minin'. And yo yo, make a good cup of cocoa."
"I washed and pressed all your knickers. And I sewed that one pair with the holes. Did you get into a fight with a bear or somethin'?"
"I was goin' over yer bank statements, and it looks like ye've spent 1.4 billion dollars at the beach. 1) How did you do this? 2) Why didn't you buy the beach?"
"I updated your social media. I liked a whole bunch of old photos of your ex-girlfriends. Turns out I'm evil incarnate."
"Your Jazzers account was hacked again. I took the liberty of changin' your password from '123' to 'imabloodyeejit'."
"Aye, I be attracted to ye. I've got a doctor's appointment scheduled for later. Don't fuss."
"I've scheduled a rave so you can work on your Funny stat. That pun you told me yesterday was worse than fascism." - Fumi's Phone Fling has her pass a spring that she analyzes using a futuristic device. She finds it is extremely hot and filled with microbes harmful to people. She then says that explains why the spring is surrounded by a fence and a large sign reading, "Keep out!"
