The Ribald Tales of Robin Hood (a.k.a. The Erotic Adventures of Robin a.k.a. Who Made Marian? a.k.a. The Affairs of Robin Hood) is 1969 soft-core movie directed by Richard Kanter and Erwin C. Dietrich.
While King Richard is imprisoned by the Normans, his evil brother John usurps the throne and wreaks pillage, rape, and oppressive taxation on the populace. John and his men forcibly enter the castle of young Robin's father and kill the Earl when he refuses to pledge allegiance. Young Robin watches the brutes rape and kill his mother, and he vows revenge against John and his band. Five years later young Robin is known as Robin Hood, champion of the common people, and he has cleverly resisted John's attempts to capture him. Lady Sallyforth, the sister of John and Richard who has allied herself with John, sends Maid Marion, Robin Hood's childhood sweetheart, into Sherwood Forest to lure Robin Hood out of the forest. Robin Hood's men take Maid Marion to their leader, and the lovers are reunited. Marion relates to Robin Hood the evil king's efforts to capture him; and Robin allows himself to be captured. He confronts John and leads his men in a spirited battle in which John is killed and his allies subdued, thus restoring Richard to the throne.
Tropes used include:
- Army of Thieves and Whores: Robin's band is comprised of thieves and camp followers, which is even commented on by Prince John.
- Artistic Licence History: Unsurprisingly, the film is riddled with historic inaccuracies. The most egregious is the inclusion of Prince John's sister Lady Sallyforth as one of the main villains. Prince John (and King Richard) had no sister named this of course (two of their three real sisters were in fact dead by the time John had become King in any case) and their title was Princess, not Lady (two became queens, the other a duchess).
- Dirty Old Monk: Friar Tuck not only indulges in his usual vices of gluttony, drunkenness and thievery, but receives blowjobs from wenches.
- Disguised in Drag: Robin escapes from his cell by disguising himself as Marian.
- Do with Him as You Will: After rescuing Marian from the dungeon, Robin turns the villainess Lady Sallyforth over to his Merry Men, telling them to use her as they see fit.
- Excessive Evil Eyeshadow: Prince John's equally evil sister Lady Sallyforth wears excessive quantities of anachronistic eye shadow in a garish shade of pale green.
- Flirtatious Smack on the Ass: When Robin leaves his cell disguised as Marian, the jailer gives him a cheeky pinch on the butt. Robin cannot react in any way without blowing his cover.
- Food Slap: Robin empties a wine skin into the Sheriff of Nottingham's face while he is a captive in Robin's camp.
- A Glass in the Hand: When Little John is informed of Tina's rape and murder at the hands of the Sheriff, he snaps his quarterstaff in half.
- I Have Your Wife: Prince John coerces Marian into cooperating with his scheme to trap Robin by holding her father hostage.
- I Lied: After promising Lady Sallyforth that she will live if she lets Marian go, Robin then turns her over to his men to do with as they will. When she protests that he said she would be allowed to go, he responds:"What is the word of an outlaw worth?"
- In the Hood: Robin escapes from his cell by slipping out posing as Marian; disguising himself with her hooded cloak.
- Kinky Spanking: When Robin catches one of the wenches stealing money intended for Richard's ransom, he rips her skirt off—exposing her bare ass—and puts her over his knees and spanks her.
- A Minor Kidroduction: Robin is introduced as a boy who is watch to as Prince John murders his father, and orders his mother and sister raped. The film then jumps to when Robin is an adult and a permanent thorn in John's side.
- Outdoor Bath Peeping: Friar Tuck spies on three maidens Skinny Dipping in a pond before he loses his balance and topples into the water.
- Please, I Will Do Anything!: Marian begs to Lady Sallyforth that she will do anything if only the torture stops. Lady Sallyforth is only too eager to take her up on the offer.
- Psycho Lesbian: Lady Sallyforth, Prince John's sister, takes a perverse sexual interest in Marian and imprisons her in her Torture Cellar.
- Punch! Punch! Punch! Uh Oh...: One of the Sheriff's men punches Little John multiple times in the head and then headbutts in the stomach to no effect. John then decks him with a single punch.
- Railing Kill: When Robin shoots Prince John with an arrow, John topples over a low parapet and crashes to the ground.
- Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves: Polly betrays Robin to Prince John; telling him that Marian has informed Robin of the trap to catch him. Lady Sallyforth takes Polly away to receive her 'reward', but then kills her when she will not reveal the location of Richard's gold (which was something she did not know).
- Sexy Soaked Shirt: Two wenches are practicing quarterstaff fighting on a log over a stream in Robin's camp. They both end up in the water and emerge in clinging clothing (and one of them is wearing white, so her outfit is almost see-through). Later, Marian gets out of a bath and puts on a wrap that immediately plasters itself to her wet body.
- Shameful Strip: Robin has the Sheriff and Lady Sallyforth stripped, tied back to back and sent back to Nottingham on the back of a horse. Lady Sallyforth later returns the favour by cutting Marian's clothes off while Marian is a prisoner in her dungeon.
- Tickle Torture: Lady Sallyforth tortures Marian by tickling her with a feather while she is chained in such a position that she will press her naked body against a bed of spikes if she writhes.
- Torture Cellar: Lady Sallyforth maintains a torture chamber full of some very kinky torture equipment that she uses on Marian.
- To the Pain: Robin threatens Lady Sallyforth with the affliction of agony from every device in her Torture Cellar unless she releases Marian.
- Victoria's Secret Compartment: When Friar Tuck wins a bet on a dice game, Will Scarlett drops his winnings down the cleavage of one of the camp wenches.
- Water Wake-up: Robin wakes up the unconscious Sheriff by emptying a wineskin over his head.