Revenge is a motherfucker.
Colonel Kill Motherfuckers is a 2008 American Black Comedy Slasher Movie. It concerns a military veteran resurrected from the dead to avenge his accidental killing by drunken nerds.
This film contains examples of:
- Abusive Parents: Mrs. Scabtree sexually abuses her son and ruins every opportunity he has to get away from her. She taught him to kill because it was the only worth she saw in him, and emotionally berates him at the slightest opportunity. Even death couldn't keep her from hurting him, as the resurrection spell she used put him in constant agony.
- Antagonist Title
- Big Bad: Mrs. Scabtree, the Colonel's mother, who raised him to be a killer and encourages his madness even after he dies.
- Brain Food: The Colonel rips the top of Nancy's head off and eats her brain.
- But Liquor Is Quicker: Nicholas, despite being ostensible leader of the group of friends, allows Janet to lead the group in drunken debauchery so that he can score with a couple nerdy women, having not gotten laid since Spider-Man came out.
- Coming-Out Story: Subverted; Nicholas tries to come out as gay, but keeps getting interrupted.
- A Date with Rosie Palms: Nicholas masturbates to pictures of pottery in National Geographic. And pictures of gorillas.
- The End... Or Is It?: The Colonel and his mother are both dead, but Nicholas awakens as a zombie.
- Girls with Moustaches: The Colonel's mom has Perma-Stubble.
- Gory Deadly Overkill Title of Fatal Death
- Harmful to Minors: The local liquor store, which is so shady that it openly welcomes fake ID's, doubles as a daycare centre.
- Hidden Weapons: Nicholas hides a ball of concrete in a giant Tootsie Pop toy to protect himself from terrorists.
- Intentionally Awkward Title
- Our Zombies Are Different: These are revenants resurrected by a magic ritual involving virgin blood and a power source for them to replenish life energy. They act the same as in life, but are cursed with constant agony.
- Parental Incest: In addition to the many other screwed-up aspects of their relationship, the Colonel and his mom have a sexual relationship.
- Poor Man's Porn: Nicholas masturbates to pictures of pottery in National Geographic. And pictures of gorillas.
- Roaring Rampage of Revenge: A soldier who was just discharged for homicidal mania is killed in self-defense and comes back as a zombie to finish the job.
- The Sociopath: Mrs. Scabtree, a witch who sexually abuses her son and grooms him into a Serial Killer because she thinks it's the only thing he'll ever be good for. She doesn't even care that her attempt to resurrect him left him in utter agony.
- Sociopathic Soldier: The Colonel was dishonourably discharged from the Army for moonlighting as a Serial Killer. However, the Army was cool with him killing people so long as he didn't do it under their watch, so they're pretty sociopathic too.
- Tear Off Your Face: The Colonel rips a guy's face off and shoves it in his mouth.
- Toilet Humor: Several instances, such as Mrs. Scabtree using her own forces for divination.
- Villain Opening Scene: Colonel Kill coming back from the army and killing some people who hit him in the head with a bottle of urine.
- Virgin Power: Virgin blood can resurrect the dead.