Colin: From the time I was born to the time I was died and then I was reincarnated and come back as this, bowling has been a big part of my life. Sure, it's not really a sport, but it's got great music attached to it!!! Ryan: You're drinking coffee again, aren't you? Colin: YES, I am!
In a "Hollywood Director" where Ryan played a hunky pool boy seducing Kathy Greenwood, one of the styles was that the performers drank too much caffeine. This led to everyone talking at double speed, making spastic gestures, and shouting every line.
Also done in a non-"If You Know What I Mean" game: During "Weird Newscasters", Wayne played an Italian stud and said, "Sometimes when I'm out, and I'm running with the bulls, IF you know what I mean..." As mentioned under Ear Worm above, it's habit-forming.
During a "Greatest Hits" about sci-fi, Colin played with the formula by appearing alongside Wayne during the songs and pretending it was a music video. After the first song (which featured quite a bit of dancing), Ryan lampshaded how they shot the music video weeks ago and yet Colin still looks tired. He further lampshaded by asking if that's the only shirt Colin owns.
When Wayne Brady's infamous "HORWARD" song unexpectedly speeds up, he sings "Howard...can you last? Howard...how'd this song get so damn fast?"
In a playing of Dubbing with audience member Betty, she frequently didn't flap her lips when Brad spoke. At one point, Ryan (who played her jealous jock boyfriend) brought attention to this: "Your lips may be..... no, actually, they're not."
Drew: A thousand points to... anyone who knows who Bushwack Bill is.
In a Newsflash featuring rats in the background, one of the hints Ryan gave was that he and Kathy "need look no more". This was lampshaded by everyone after the game:
Ryan: Yeah, didn't catch onto my "need look no more" clue. Colin: Isn't that weird?? Drew: That would've been a dead give-away! Ryan: (singing; Colin joins in after a couple words) We both found what we were looking for! Drew: OH, Ben, the theme from Ben. Ryan: A little obscure. I didn't want to just go, "Hey, look out for the rats!" Drew: Ben was actually the sequel; Willard was the first movie. Ryan: That's right. You know the character's last name? (no response from Drew) "Wagner".
In a Newsflash where Ryan was in front of alligators, Brad tried to give Ryan a hint: "Reminds me of a Gary U.S. Bonds song." A puzzled Ryan replied, "Does it indeed?", and soon after added, "I wish I followed the music scene right now." (for the record, Brad was referring to "Do the Gator")
A special mention goes to Tony Slattery, who even became the subject of an "in the style of" finale by the three other players (Greg, Colin and Ryan).
Large Ham Announcer: "Sportscasters" or "Sports Commentators" is a game in which two of the performers act out a mundane activity, such as being competing hot dog vendors, while the other two provide commentary as if it were a sporting event.
Lampshaded in one Scenes From A Hat game involving "Phrases that just don't sound right when a cheesy announcer says them".
Larynx Dissonance: During a playing of "Scenes Cut From a Movie", one suggestion was Braveheart, where Brad ordered his men to take a shower. Colin raised his hand and said, "Eh, I don't want mah freedom" in a higher-pitched Scottish voice. After the game, Drew lampshaded this:
Drew: 1,000 points to Colin for sounding like the woman from Chicken Run, instead of from Braveheart. Do that again, it was pretty funny. Colin: (sounding even MORE feminine) I don't want mah freedom!
Last Kiss: In a playing of "Dubbing" that parodied West Side Story, one of the characters asked the participating audience member for a last kiss before dying. Drew buzzed before the audience member had to do so.
In a "Hoedown" about surgery, Drew's first two lines were:
Drew: (singing) I had an operation, to take out my appendix / The name of my doctor was Dr. Bendix!
Leave the Camera Running: While this happened in the old show too, an interview with Colin for the 2013 revival has him mentioning this directly as part of the new approach. Sure enough, in #3:
Colin: (as a ventriloquist) "I find you very attractive! (Beat) And if you don't mind a guy with another guy... up his ass..." (starts Corpsing and basically gives up on the act) (Audience goes howling mad as we cut to a stupefied Wayne and Aisha laughing her head off) Ryan: "Goodnight, everyone!"
Colin again in #7, in the second game of "What's in the Bag" when he sees something he probably shouldn't have.
Colin: "Oh, I'm ready for a date later!" (closes bag, audience starts howling) (later on) Aisha: "...and even though this might get cut out later, Safe Sex Is Important!"
In a "Greatest Hits" about nurses, Ryan asked Colin what the initials "R.N." stand for. While he says this, someone's cell phone jingle briefly plays in the audience. Ryan worked this into the scene by miming that he was turning off his pager.
Leitmotif: Each playing of "Improbable Mission" always used the same background tune (in the U.S. version, it was "Hit and Run", which was more famous for its use on The Ren & Stimpy Show). The same goes for "Narrate" and "Hey, You Down There!"
Like an Old Married Couple: Ryan and Colin, but especially during "Greatest Hits" when they occasionally bicker (all an act, of course). It most often comes out when Ryan makes a joke and Colin doesn't laugh as long as Ryan would like, making Ryan feel like an idiot for laughing alone.
Or if Ryan uses the word blue too much.
Clive and Greg act like this during the British series.
Lip Lock: Unavoidable in "Film Dub". One particularly glaring example is from the U.K. series, a Chinese martial arts action flick with the scene being a barber shop. Not only did Stephen Frost repeatedly fill the character's remaining lip flaps with "Now then now then now then now then!", but Colin (playing a woman) underestimated the amount of dialog his character had and said, "Yes, why is that? Why? Why why why why why why why? Why is that?"
Also occurs in "Dubbing", for obvious reasons.
Literal-Minded: During a "Greatest Hits", Colin says, "Get out of town and take a bus!" Ryan stands up and starts to leave, before being coaxed back by Colin.
Subverted in another "Greatest Hits", when Colin said something and Ryan replied, "Tell me about it!...... No, I mean, tell me about it!"
Loads and Loads of Characters: The UK version regularly cycled out performers in early episodes. By contrast, every episode in the US version featured Colin and Ryan, and only a few early episodes had Wayne absent.
Love Confession: Played for laughs in one episode. Out of nowhere, Drew says, "I love you, Ryan Stiles." A disturbed Ryan replies, "Can we just... talk about this later?" Drew ignores him and says, "You know, I hardly say this to anyone, but you know, chaps would really make that outfit", continuing a running gag of mocking Ryan's western-style shirt.
Also during an Improbable Mission, where Colin and Ryan are scaling a building.
Ryan: By the way I love you. Colin: Stop it!
Before a playing of "Infomercial":
Drew: Britney [Spears], if you're out there with your fine ass, I love you. Ryan: Ooh! Smooth tongue! Drew: I will not make fun of Britney Spears, while I think I still have a chance. I have a dream, that I will climb the mountaintops! (Wayne is stunned)
Love Triangle: Seen in many games, notably "Dubbing" with special guest Joanie Laurer and later, Florence Henderson. The games inevitably boiled down to the woman having to decide whether to stay with her spouse or go with her current fling. In Laurer's case, Colin and Ryan decided who would get her with a dance-off, while in Florence's case, it was decided by who was the best kisser.
Luxury Prison Suite: During a game of Secret, two of the suggestions for a hiding place in a prison cell were "toilet" and "curtain", leading to some mockery by Clive. Colin and Ryan, naturally, took it even further.
Lyrical Dissonance: any music-based game, but sometimes invoked in Scenes From a Hat and others.
Colin: (passive aggressively) Well that's nice, isn't it?!
Similarly, in a playing of "Sound Effects" in the style of Star Wars, Ryan accidentally chops off one of his legs with his lightsaber and barely reacts.
Malaproper: Upon getting a question about transvestites in "The Millionaire Show", Ryan remarked that he didn't know anything about vampires. Colin immediately said, "Transvestites! Not "Transylvanians", ya moron!"
Mathematician's Answer: During a "Greatest Hits", Colin demonstrated this by answering one of Ryan's questions with a flat "Yeah" instead of elaborating as well:
Ryan: Styles come and styles go, but they're all on this CD set, including a long-gone style, grunge. 'Member grunge? Colin: Yeah? Ryan: (Beat) ...Well, it's on this CD set. Colin: Well I didn't know you wanted me to act- Ryan: (annoyed) You could help me out on this a bit, I can't sell the CDs all by myself.
During the "Scenes Cut From a Movie" suggestion of Forrest Gump:
Brad: (as Forrest) Life is kinda like a bag with a bunch of bugs in it... ya open it, and it all just spreads out all over the floor.
In the 2013 revival, when Wayne takes a crack at Ryan's advanced years before the actual scene even starts:
Ryan: "I'm not old... I'm like a fine wine... all the sediment is reaching the bottom..."
Milestone Celebration: The US version had a special 100th episode. There was also an episode where Drew celebrated that it's the one-millionth point ever given away on the show (which was inaccurate, as Drew had previously given away billions of points, but hey).
Missing Episode: The entire second half of the eighth season has never seen the light of day on American television. Also, there's still enough unaired footage and material left to make at least another half season.
Mr. Seahorse: One "Irish Drinking Song" was about getting pregnant, which led to Wayne ending one verse with "I'm a dude, what the hell?!"
Mistaken for Gay: Possibly because of kissing, licking, and miming sex acts on each other a few times on the show, some fans apparently got the idea that Ryan and Colin were gay. Drew had to say, "And listen, for the thousands of you who have written in, NO, Colin and Ryan are NOT a couple."
Colin: *aside to Ryan* When did that happen? Ryan:Shut up.
While taking suggestions from the audience, someone shouted out Dirty Dancing, and Drew initially thought they said "Dirty Nancy".
During a "Greatest Hits", Colin remarked that he loved Jewel; Ryan asked: ""Drool"?"
After the "Hollywood Director" where Chip jumped on Ryan's back, Drew thought Ryan was saying "Faster faster, you fool, you fool!" during that moment. Ryan had to correct him: "I was actually saying, "Get the (fuck) off! Get the (fuck) off!"
Money, Dear Boy: Invoked in one game of "Scenes from a Hat", where the scene was "rejected names for Whose Line". Wayne suggested "Drew Carey's House Payment".
Monochrome Casting: Referenced during "Scenes From a Hat": "Difficult questions for mommy to answer": Wayne says in a little kid voice: "Mommy, how come no one looks like me on Friends?"
Mood-Swinger: Colin is frequently one in "Hollywood Director", berating the cast and then instantly becoming calm when he comes up with a new idea:
Colin: CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT it's too unbelievable! It's unbelievable! It's just too unbelievable! Who's gonna believe it?! No one! (calmly) I know what we need.
Or the more common example: [explains idea] YES!!!
In the "Greatest Hits" about songs of the international spy, Ryan pretended to be crying; Colin asked him what was the matter, and Ryan replied in a sad voice, "I'm blue." He immediately perked up and said, "Did I say blues??", segueing into the next music style.
One session of Greatest Hits has Wayne ending one of the "Songs of the Mailman" this way:
Wayne:(cheerful) "Hey, it's from my girl! (opens letter) Dear John...."
At the end of a sketch, Drew awards points like normal. And then suddenly Drew turns to the side of his desk and coughs. A concerned Wayne asks, "Drew, do you...?" Suddenly Drew sits up and spits a mint, and complains on how he nearly choked to death on an Altoid on TV. And we're back to laughing again.
Drew even lampshades the mood whiplash by saying, "Ha ha, he almost died." Chip loved that joke.
Arguably, there is very brief Mood Whiplash in the playing of "Party Quirks" when Ryan's head slams into the neon light on Drew's desk and breaks it. For a moment, the audience reacts with concern that he was badly hurt, but they go back to laughing when Ryan announces he's OK and continues with the scene.
Despite the collective gasp from pretty much everybody else in the studio, Colin seems immune to this trope and begins laughing his ass off immediately.
Lampshaded twice by Ryan in that episode: once during the same scene where without breaking character (Carol Channing) he asks if he's bleeding, then again during a hoedown at the end.
In one Infomercial (the "product" being a program to stop drinking), Colin finds a fishing pole-like device, sticks the tube in Ryan's mouth, and starts cranking. Drew hurriedly stops them, telling them that it's a utility lighter. Afterwards, Ryan jokes about it. (Drew: "Well, he was putting it right in your mouth and he was about to crank it, and I was like 'Woah!'" Ryan: "If I had a nickel for every time that's happened!")
Another was during the cockroach Newsflashgame. Which starts out as anything with cockroaches would but then they start dancing. The audience switches from groans and 'yuck's to confused laughter rather quickly.
In one of the outtakes on the DVD sets, Drew announces "Let's Make a Date" as normal, and said the contestants were hoping to be picked by Greg, but didn't know why that would ever happen in real life. It was meant to be funny, but when he threw to Greg to start the game, Greg said, "But... what's the point, Drew, since nobody would ever pick me?" Then the rest of the cast made Drew feel guilty for hurting Greg's feelings, and Greg had to be held back by Wayne. The producer forced everyone to start the game over, and though Drew claimed he was just kidding around, Greg said, "Yeah, well, words can hurt." Drew apologized, and while the two hugged, Greg and Drew both slid their hands onto each others' butts, sending the quasi-serious moment right back to comedy.
Motor Mouth: Clive Anderson, especially in his closing address ("Andthisisme, Clive Anderson, sayingoodnightgoodnight!") Parodied by Rory Bremner when his Party Quirk was to act like Clive.
Also seen in "Quiz Show"/"Game Show" when Greg acted as host; he would speak gibberish when describing the rules of the "lightning round", presumably to parody real game show hosts who speed through the rules of a round because most people watching have seen the show before.
One scene of "Hollywood Director" featured the style of "randomly speeding up and slowing down".
Similarly, another playing of "Hollywood Director" featured the style of the actors being hopped up on caffeine, which of course made them speak much faster than usual.
One "Scenes From a Hat" suggestion was "Versions of Hell other than eternal flames"; Ryan thought it would be endless Hoedowns, Colin's contribution was "Let's hear that Yentl soundtrack one more time!", and Greg and Wayne both said, "Mississippi... I'm still in Mississippi!"
My Eyes Are Up Here: In a deleted playing of "Song Styles", Brad sang to a woman and began the song with the line, "Oh I can't stop staring at your breasts..." Later, he tried again with a much older woman, and sang the same line.
During a game of African chant, Drew referred to the non-Wayne Brady cast members as honkies and crackers.
During a Halloween hoedown, Wayne sang about dressing up as a KKK member. Doubtful that this would have been ok coming from anyone else.
Naked People Are Funny: not for real, of course, but invoked quite often in Scenes from a Hat and others. Ryan of course is usually responsible.
National Stereotypes: Often used for comedic effect, and most prevalent in "Foreign Film Dub". Examples include people in France only taking baths every few months, and people in Australia ending pretty much every sentence with "mate".
Speaking of France, in a playing of "Helping Hands" where Ryan played a French teacher, Ryan made an out of nowhere remark: "That Jerry Lewis, he cracks me up."
In a playing of "Weird Newscasters" where Wayne played an Italian stud (and hit on Drew Carey), Greg remarked: "Grazie bene, Wayne. Like all Italian guys, you have strange tastes in women."
A "Scenes From a Hat" suggestion was "Opening lines to foreign national anthems". Ryan sang: "Russia, our women look like men! Russia!"
Never Say "Die": the game "Dead Bodies" actually got renamed into "Fainting Bodies" for a brief while during the UK run. Fortunately it didn't stick.
Never Say That Again: During a playing of "Narrate", Ryan says to the camera that he knew Colin from years back when the sheriff caught him giving his wife a lube job. He said he wouldn't bring it up because he knew it was a touchy subject, but immediately after, says to Colin, "Haven't seen you since the lube job." Colin erupts and ends his tirade with, "Never mention that again!"
Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: Multiple Personalities would sometimes end with everyone dumping all three items in the hands of one player, usually Ryan, who is forced to act as three different characters at the same time. Hilarity Ensues.
Played straight with the premise of Make-A-Monster.
No Ending: Due to the nature of the show, scenes often end abruptly if Clive or Drew buzzes the performers out, even if the conflict hadn't been resolved yet. Occasionally, they'll ignore it and continue the scene to more buzzing.
No Fourth Wall: Ranging from mild ones, like talking into the camera, to just running into the audience and around the studio, as part of the games sometimes, but usually for laughs.
The premise of Film Noir involves the players doing their own Private Eye Monologue, which winds up like this.
No Name Given: Before the "Number of Words" about "Rocky", Drew says that Wayne plays Rocky's (Colin's) tough-talking opponent. Wayne remarks, "I don't even get a name?" Drew replies, "Apollo. Call yourself "Apollo" if you want to."
In a playing of "Action Replay", Wayne started the scene by calling Greg "guide".
Nonindicative Name: In one Greatest Hits, the music style was Barenaked Ladies. Ryan barked and panted like a dog, but Colin just stared at him. Ryan sheepishly asked: "...They're not really bare-naked ladies, are they?" Colin affirmed: "No, they're actually fully-dressed men."
Noodle Incident: Parodied whenever the subject of how the players got parts on the show comes up, and sometimes at random moments.
Drew: ...and by the way, Colin's wife looooves that accent... Wayne: I know...
During a session of "Greatest Hits", Colin mentions he can't go back to Jamaica because of an unfortunate "dreadlocking" accident, which is never elaborated on because he has a hard time talking about it.
The Newsflash game involves (usually) Colin reporting on one of these. Then it goes into Noodle Implements when he is asked about how it all started.
"It all started when a Cola taste test went horribly wrong!"
In one game of "Helping Hands", Ryan is a pastry chef. At one point, he mentions The Great Sprinkle Accident of 1982.
Nostril Shot: Done easily and often. One game of World's Worst involves examples of the world's worst TV show, and Greg Proops and Drew Carey take turns to move too close to the camera, "announcing" the TV shows "You're Sitting Too Close" and "What's Up My Nose?"
Not Even Bothering with the Accent: Somewhat subverted. Colin is horrible with impressions, so when skits such as Questionable Impressions come up, he often picks celebrities without a particularly unusual voice, such as Peter Graves and Craig T. Nelson.
Colin: Hi! Do you have anything for Craig T. Nelson?
Happens during a game of Helping Hands in the new season, where Ryan plays a Mexican chef teaching his son (Keegan Michael-Key) how to prepare food:
Keegan: [in a Hispanic accent] Okay, Papa! I'm ready Papa! Ryan: [in his normal voice] I don't know how you ended up Hispanic. We're from Jersey.
Now How Much Would You Pay: Often said in both "Greatest Hits" and "Infomercial" about the CD album or product Ryan and Colin are selling. Always taken in weird directions, such as:
Colin: How much would you pay for a CD set like this? Ryan: Well I work for the company, so I just grab all the free ones!
Ryan: How much would you pay for a 4-CD set like this, Colin? Colin: Gosh, I'd pay upwards of my life savings. Ryan: (to audience) And that's all we expect of you.
Obfuscating Stupidity: Seen in a "Scenes From a Hat" suggestion: "What President Bush does in the Oval Office when he's all by himself." Wayne comes on stage as George W. Bush and, speaking in a scholarly tone, says that now that he's alone, he can do all the smart things he enjoys, such as reading Charles Dickens novels and the encyclopedia.
Off the Rails: Played straight due to the nature of the show, for any number of reasons ranging from forgetting rules, everyone cracking up or even equipment failure.
Drew: "I never even knew the Village People did polkas..." Greg: "Watch out for those tempo changes man... when we reach the second bridge this sh* t takes off!"
There's another one (Irish Drinking Song about pregnancy) where Colin recites his running gag, but at the end. Wayne breaks down laughing, but everyone else does so only after ten seconds or so.
Invoked literally at the end of this episode, when Colin and Ryan read the credits as "cocky rollercoaster riders who have underestimated the size of this one", and after attempting to swing and lurch in sync, give up entirely and go off in different directions.
Off-the-Shelf FX: the early playings of Props in the UK series would involve some pretty recognisable items, like kitchen utensils or snowshoes.
Stephen Fry: (with a sheet of bubble wrap) "Look, either the BBC believes in sci-fi or it doesn't, but how am I going to make 50 Daleks out of this?"
Oh Crap: Happens a few times during the guessing games, and literally when Wayne realises he read his card wrong.
Wayne:(after being "on Jerry Springer" for Party Quirks) "...Well, now that the game's over... mine said (reads card) "I've got A Secret" Episode of the- awwww crap..."note Considering that Jerry Springer is primarily populated by white rednecks and Wayne was piling on the black stereotypes, he might have misread "South America" as "South Central".
Ryan gets this just once during the skateboarding Newsflash.
Anytime someone's rhyme gets stolen in Hoedown. It also applies to the thief, who often gets insulted as a result.
Older Than They Look: Not in the traditional sense, since the performers are merely playing characters. But it does make for funny parallels, as Ryan and Colin are frequently joked to be older than they look.
In "Hollywood Director" when Ryan and Kathy Greenwood had to play a '50s teen couple making out:
Ryan: (to Colin) It's hard for me to get the reality of the scene; unlike you, I wasn't alive during the fifties! (audience laughs and "ooohs") Colin: ...Good one.
In "Greatest Hits", a Running Gag is how one of the two (either Ryan or Colin) wasn't alive during an older era when a style of music or concept was popular, but the other one told them all about it.
Ryan: Years ago- of course, I'm much too young to remember the days of the traveling salesman, but it must hold a lot of fond memories for you. (looks at Colin)
In the "Greatest Hits" about pizza, Ryan said that he grew up in the '40s.
Interestingly, no one makes fun of Wayne, who also appeared in the movie, although Wayne did mention being in it once.
A more direct example to the show itself, Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie have said they will not watch their early appearances on the British version because of how nervous and unfunny they were then.
On Second Thought: Before a playing of "Greatest Hits", Drew asked for suggestions of a city. He took the suggestions of Paris and Amsterdam, pondered for a second, and tentatively chose Amsterdam. Ryan made a funny face and said "OK..." Drew promptly switched it back to Paris based on Ryan's comment and the crowd reaction.
Drew: (singing) Oh, the whores of Amsterdam...
Once an Episode: Drew would switch out with the "winner" for a game, which would often be Hoedown because he was consistently good at it. Evidently by later episodes, Ryan got tired of Hoedown really quickly. However, later episodes which were composed of unused footage often had Drew at his desk for the whole game, not participating in any games.
Bald jokes. Lampshaded by Ryan in the "Salute to Television" episode:
Drew: ...You're gonna do the sound effects for Colin. Colin's the bald one. Ryan: (looking at watch) Aaaaaand, mark.
One Shot Performer: Debbie Durst, Kathie Kinney, and Robin Williams all had only one episode each.
One Steve Limit: Unintentional of course, but makes it remarkably easy to identify everyone on the show by firstname basis. Unless you count Kathy Greenwood and guests Kathy Griffin and Kathy Kinney.
Also, Steve Frost and Steve Steen from the UK version. They were even on the same episode once. (Clive introduced Steve F. as Stephen Frost to avoid confusion.) But it's still pretty ironic that a show that almost always (unintentionally) adheres to the One Steve Limit still manages to have four Steves.
Jonathan Pryce and John Sessions appeared in a couple of the same episodes on the UK version as well, meaning Clive had to be careful to refer to them as "John" and "Jonathan", depending on who he was speaking to.
That same Hollywood Director had Kathy declaring she also had Canadian and Swedish ancestry, Ryan remarking that the three of them (Wayne was the third) all came from different parts of Spain, and then Kathy mentioning that they might actually be in Mexico.
Another time, in "Film, TV & Theater Styles", a scene changed to "Australian soap opera". Wayne, Colin, and Ryan began speaking in Australian accents (bad ones, too), but Colin quickly reverted to his regular accent and even lampshaded this by saying his accent was gone and had to find it.
A subversion is seen in a playing of "The Millionaire Show" that features Jerry Springer as the theme. Ryan starts the skit talking like he normally does, but when he goes to call Kathy, he suddenly has a Southern accent. Ryan, upon realizing this, quickly lampshades it:
Ryan: Hey, ssshh, when I talk to her, I talk with an accent. I don't want her to know where I'm from.
Another time, during a German Millionaire game, Greg actually mentions this trope:
Greg: "Now you know you have two lifelines, you can go to them at any time when asked a question. Or if my accent slips to another country you may call me on that."
In a "Helping Hands" where Ryan was a French man, Ryan's accent was muddled throughout the scene, and finally he lampshaded it:
Ryan: We love-a the wine, and we love-a the bready... (Beat) Am I Italian or Frenchy??
In "The Millionaire Show" with the theme of Germans, Colin was Ryan's phone-a-friend and Ryan asked him if it was A, B, C, or D in a muddled German accent. Colin asked: "What are you? Swedish??"
Or So I Heard: Ryan often pretends to act innocent after a scene that involves something sexual. After the sole playing of "Meet the Family" where he played a dominatrix, he said, "I don't really know what dominatrixes do... IF they hook electricity up to people's nipples, I wouldn't know anything about that."
After a game that involved miming a strip club, Ryan pretended that he didn't know what a strip club was. Drew had to explain that it's a place where women take off their clothes for money.
After a Newsflash where the clips were of Jerry Springer episodes, Drew asked what was up with the fish guy in one of the clips. Ryan described what occurred on that episode... and quickly followed by saying he didn't watch it but saw a clip for it.
After a Party Quirks where Ryan was a series of delivery men in porno films, Ryan said he had to imagine what those kind of characters must act like. Colin then laughed sarcastically.
Orphaned Punchline: Played with in "Backwards Scene"; one player would start with the punchline and have to create the joke leading up to it next.
Some playings of "Newsflash" start like this.
Overcrank: Utilized in a playing of "Hollywood Director" (combined with randomly speeding up).
In any scene parodying Baywatch, expect to see an imitation of slow motion.
Overly-Long Gag: Colin's long-winded monologue at the beginning of the Greatest Hits about "Songs of the Wrestler":
Colin: As long as there's been men in tight... tights... sorry, I was just picturing it. As long as there's been sweaty men in tights fighting each other and bumping into ropes and... doing stuff like that, there's been hundreds and hundreds of songs written about 'em. From the early days of Greece to the later days of Pompeii, and even now, where people wrestle not only for profit, but for fun, and to teach the young people that there's better ways of working out your problems than just talking... Ryan: You mind if I just sell the CD? (audience laughs) Apparently, our movie is over now.
After "Weird Newscasters" where Ryan was descending the evolutionary scale (where the punchline was that Drew was lower than a prehistoric ape), Drew called Ryan a "freak" a total of six times. Just when you think he's done, he starts up again.
Drew: I can take it; doesn't bother me. Tall, big-nosed freak, ya. Now let's go on to a game called "Narrate". This is for Colin and the freak. Colin and the tall freak. (after he gets suggestions from the audience) Bike shop. Bike shop. So you're at a bike shop. Not the best suggestion, but for the freak? He can make anything funny, right, freak? Ryan: You just have to forget now. Drew: Got to forget, OK. (Beat) So, Colin and the freak, you're gonna act out a film noir scene set at a bike shop.
In one "Let's Make a Date", Ryan played a man secretly setting up a 24 hour erotic webcam on stage. When it came time to guess, Greg seemed to get it pretty quickly but kept dragging out the guessing with phony confusion:
Drew: Where do you go to see 24-hour entertainment?
Greg: ...Do I go?? There's a little bar down in Tijuana-
Greg: It's called the Hot Pepper...
Greg: Ask for Rico. (Drew mimes typing on a keyboard to give him a hint) Oh, a piano bar?! (Drew's mildly annoyed) Oh, I know where he is.
"Featuring tonight: England's answer to the Jolly Green Giant, Steve Frost; then, the jolliest man to come out of Canada since Leonard Cohen, Colin Mochrie; next, the jolliest man to come out of Canada since Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles; and finally, the jolliest man in the world called Tony Slattery, Tony Slattery!"
This was a common gag for Clive; he would say things like "That was the best playing of "Secret" I've ever seen, from the last five minutes."
In a "World's Worst" with the theme of award speeches:
Greg: I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the... general area.
If Colin's the first ("normal") person in "Weird Newscasters", expect the top story of the day to be one of these.
In the "Greatest Hits" about "Songs of Horror", Colin mocked Ryan's earlier pun ("Jittery bug? JITTERBUG!") by telling a story about how he went to a circus and saw a man bend a car. "Bend a car? PAT BENATAR!" and another story about how he used to be a horse jockey and that they used to put sanitary paper on cots for the fillies to sleep on. "Wait a minute: Bed cot filly paper? RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS!"
A Ryan example, also from "Greatest Hits":
Ryan: One of my favorite artists is Liberace. He didn't sing much; he played. But a song style I like even better was done by his sister, Mary. And mariachi music... (audience laughs) Long way to go for that one, huh?
Overshadowed by Awesome: In the Robin Williams episode you can tell the rest of the group was struggling to keep up with his high energy, but the tables were turned when Robin was set to improv a song with Wayne. You can visibly see Robin dumbfounded at how good Wayne was and resorted to just sort of miming out the lyrics.
Pantomime: As can be expected, this often comes up in U.K. games of Film/Theatre Styles, complete with encouraged audience participation. It might confuse non-Brit viewers who wonder why the players don't commence actual mime performances.
Panty Shot: Audience member Melissa's underwear during "Party Quirks".
Most of the films Colin says they'll "get right back to" have Parallel Porn Titles ("Men In Back", "Touched By A Hell's Angel", etc.). The infamous "Animal Porn" incident happened because Colin couldn't think of a title in time and just blurted out the connotation he was trying for.
Pie in the Face: Seen during an early U.S. playing of "Helping Hands", when Drew hit Ryan with a pie. A later playing had Drew geared up to throw a sundae in Ryan's face; Ryan quickly threatened, "Oh, you better think twice about that, my friend." Drew relented and set the sundae down.
Colin and Ryan, in particular, for "Scene to Rap". Drew even sarcastically references this before one of the playings:
Drew: Because when I think of rappers, I think of these guys standing right here.
In an episode of the UK version, Clive made a similar joke about them during the same game:
Clive: They're going to be helped out by Laura Hall, but hindered later on by Colin and Ryan.
Arguably the entire premise of the old Rap game from the UK version.
Greg has one of the most memorable screw-ups of the entire show in a deleted scene where he completely fails at rapping and ends up just interrupting the game by declaring that he's [bleeping] things up too badly for them to keep going.
Pistol-Whipping: During a playing of "Two-Line Vocabulary", Colin, Ryan and Wayne are three soldiers in a foxhole and Colin is already losing his cool with the other two:
Colin: I have an idea. Wayne: I don't think so. Colin: I do. Wayne: I don't think so! Colin: Butt! (hits Wayne with his "gun") Wayne: Aaah! (collapses)
The Points Mean Nothing: Of course. Clive would never tell the audience outright and would pantomime tallying the totals, while Drew makes it very clear at the start of every episode and turned it into his Catch Phrase.
Subverted in one US episode where the points did matter and the players acted more competitive than normal. Double Subverted when in the end, they still didn't matter after all.
Drew Carey liked to award 'a thousand points' for everything, while Clive Anderson occasionally had 'millions of points for that...just to make you stop!'
After three-player games, Clive would often only award points to the one contestant who didn't take part. He took this to its logical extreme once, when he awarded 50 million points to Tony Slattery after a game of Film Dub. Not only was Tony not part of that game, he wasn't even in the studio. (Greg, Mike, Josie, and Ryan were that episode's contestants.)
One of the US members of the British show related a story how, after it was shown in the States (before the US one was made), he was harangued by a guy in the street how Clive's points made no sense. The explanation "they are a joke" was met with the rant "You're telling me! They make no sense."
In the 2013 series, one of Aisha's between-game jokes referenced this:
Aisha: Because the points don't matter, I'm giving you no points.
Post Script Season: Barring the lack of an actual script per se, the last 3 seasons of the old US show, being made from leftover footage from the first five, can count.
Potty Emergency: In a few outtakes on the DVDs, Ryan complains to the producers about the length of time between breaks.
Ryan: Speaking of "two stools", is this gonna take much longer?
Colin: (miming looking through a dictionary) "Practical joke: See 'Fooling someone'." (flips pages) "Fooling someone: See 'Practical joke'." (flips back)
For an actual practical joke, see Brick Joke above.
A couple times, Drew announced a special prize to people who actually kept track of the points:
Drew: Hey, if you're keeping score at home, have we got a surprise for you. Tomorrow, we're giving away a free fill-up at every gas station in America. Drive to your local gas station, get your free tank of gas, and tell them "Whose Line" sent you. Glad to do it for you.
And another example:
Drew: Hey, if you're keeping score at home, let me tell you about a special "Whose Line" offer we have. We're gonna give away free tickets at Wal-Mart tomorrow for the big "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" Beatles reunion. Make sure you're up bright and early when Wal-Mart opens tomorrow. Ask for your free Beatles tickets; you won't be sorry.
And yet another:
Drew: Hey listen, we have a special supplement in the TV Guide this week. It's the special Whose Line is it Anyway? scorebook. If you don't have one in your TV Guide, call TV Guide and complain.
In the U.K. version, after a game of "Party Quirks", Tony told Clive to fuck off. He was awarded no points as a result.
One episode of season 8 of the US version (which was actually from a taping during season 1) had Greg delivering two of these. The first was early on in Scene to Rap when he wound up messing up one of his rhymes: "This is school, as you can see, I'm a principal for thee. I'm the principal, that's true - and I'm (bleep)ing this thing up, man." The game actually stopped completely and they redid the game from the beginning. Later in Hats, he was wearing a mask that looked like a Klingon from Star Trek and he said, "I'm a Klingon by trade..." which only caused a small amount of laughter from the audience, so he added "and when I'm not funny, I sit here with this (bleep)ing thing on my head."
Occurs from time to time in uncensored scenes or outtakes.
Ryan (singing): If we do another Hoedown, I'll slit my fucking wrists. Brad (later): I didn't know we could say "fucking"!
After a playing of "Award Show", Drew mentioned the Cable Ace Awards:
Drew: They quit giving them out... cause nobody gave a (shit).
In one of the outtakes on the DVD set, after Drew insulted Greg, Greg said "Hey, fuck you, Drew!"
In-between games, an assistant refilled his coffee cup while he was still on camera, but he didn't notice it until she walked away. He called attention to this oddity, of course:
Drew: What the (fuck) was that?? More ale, wench!
Another outtake on the DVD sets:
Ryan: We interrupt your movie, Men In Back, while we tell you about a special offer. Col? Colin: I'm kinda tired; why don't you take it? Ryan: (Beat) Well fuck you then, I will! Drew: I don't know if anyone told you, but we have a campus minister and a 17-year-old in the audience...
Done non-verbally by Wayne when he was told he had to sing to Lee the lunch lady as a "singing strip-o-gram"; he hugged her for the double entendres and sensual movements he was about to perform. Luckily, Lee seemed to enjoy herself anyway.
Occasionally, when a suggestion in "Scenes From a Hat" is a personal joke at the expense of one of the cast members, someone (usually Wayne) will express reservation about doing one before being egged on by the rest of the cast.
Professional Butt-Kisser: After a playing of "Let's Make a Date" where Ryan portrayed "Drew Carey: The Musical", Chip asked who Ryan was, since Drew abruptly ended the game before Chip could guess. Drew said it was "Drew Carey: The Musical", and Chip and Wayne just smiled, trying hard not to laugh.
Chip: I didn't hear... I didn't get that at all. Wayne: That wasn't funny at all.
Frequently seen on Greatest Hits, when Ryan presents a riddle to Colin, where the answer is the next music style. In one instance, Ryan asked Colin what it's called when you rock a goat to sleep. Colin replied, "A grilled cheese." A confused Ryan then says, "No, rockabilly!" The audience groans at the lame pun, and Ryan adds, "...Or maybe it IS "grilled cheese"."
In another playing of Greatest Hits ("Songs of Horror"), Ryan talked about how he was feeling a little jittery and that he also thought he had a bug. He used this as a segue for the musical genre ("Jittery bug? Jitterbug!"), cue Collective Groan from the audience. Colin spent the rest of the game making fun of Ryan by telling anecdotes to introduce the next song with an intentionally contrived pun ("Bend a car? PAT BENATAR!!!" / "Wait a minute, "bed cot filly paper"?! "RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS!!!").
In the "Greatest Hits" about Las Vegas:
Ryan: What do you call it when a Smurf relieves himself on your lawn? Colin: Crab... grass? Ryan: No, bluegrass! And that's our next music style! (audience groans)
Brad, during "Questions Only": "Do you have a thong [song] in your heart?" (audience groans)
This one from "Greatest Hits"'s "Songs of the Safari":
Ryan: What comes before "so good"? Colin: ...Pretty... good? Ryan: No, "safari"! Safari so good. See what I'm saying? (audience groans) Colin: Why Ryan! That's almost like humor!
The other day I stole something, it really was a sin. It was a little revolver made of gelatin. It really was a bad idea, something I should've slept on, Cause I was arrested for carrying a congealed weapon.
He is king of this trope, as evidenced in another hoedown, coincidentally also about being arrested:
I am quite unbalanced, my mind is not that steady, I once pummeled a guy with an Ever Ready, They took me down to jail, and they arrested me, And they charged me with assault with a battery!
In "Greatest Hits", Colin mentioned liking The Supremes (as in, Diana Ross and The Supremes). Ryan added: "I liked the Ethyls, too."
Similarly, in a playing of "Hollywood Director", Ryan made this joke: "Fill 'er up with ethyl? You don't look like Lucy!"
During the "Remote Control" about chickens, Jeff (as a televangelist) said: "Thou hast befowled the Earth."
In "Greatest Hits", Ryan said: "Christmas in Hawaii: Don Ho ho ho."
In a playing of "Film Dub", a character in the film gets his arm ripped off, and Greg voiced: "Sorry, darling, just trying to be disarming!"
In a "Greatest Hits":
Colin: Ah, there's nothing like a good polka. Ryan: You brought her, you poke her!
After the "Secret" about sperm bank ATMs, Clive remarked: "I should explain what ATMs are to our British viewers: In England, we call them "hole in the wall machines".
Yet another "Greatest Hits" example: Ryan asked Colin what you can call an Italian nomad. Answer? He's a Roman.
In the "Greatest Hits" about songs of the flight attendant, the first style was Tom Petty. Ryan asked: "If he has a little spare change in his pocket, is that Petty cash?"
Ryan: Sometimes I make myself laugh. Colin: It's nice to have someone doing it.
Many of the Weird Newscasters anchor names were this, such as "Yassir Yassir Three Bags Full".
Also when Colin is the main anchor in "Weird Newscasters", he frequently puns a familiar saying, often with a complicated set-up to the pun. Examples: "You can lead a whore to water, but you can't make her think", "This may be the first recorded incidence of a knick-knack paddy whack", etc.
Colin: Bars across America were saddened today by the death of Dr. Joseph Lowenstein. The famous doctor who, as a sideline, would make exotic drinks from wood sap, died suddenly today. This is one patron who is really gonna miss that hickory daiquiri doc.
An even longer one is the flower-selling monks:
Colin: Famous Playboy Hugh Hefner successfully managed to stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the Playboy mansion, where they had been selling flowers. Said one friar, "Well, if it was anyone else we could've gotten away from it, but unfortunately, only Hugh can prevent florist friars."
Or this one:
Colin: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer dead at 53. (audience reacts) I know, it is sad. Over Barcelona today the famed reindeer was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eyewitnesses report that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
Pun-Based Title: The "Greatest Hits" songs often fall into this: "Doorbell Wizard", "Pizza Heck Out of Me", "Hey You, Get Off McCloud", "You Brought Her, You Caesar", among others.
One "Scenes Cut From a Movie" featured Wayne and Chip acting out an alternate ending to Free Willy, giving a double meaning to its title.note Wayne and Chip captured Willy, chopped him up, and served him for free.
Really Gets Around: In one "Multiple Personalities" sketch, Ryan is initially looking forward to his marriage the next day while Colin is bitter because Ryan's fiancée is his ex and he thinks he should be marrying her. Then enter Steve Frost...
A "Scenes From a Hat" with the suggestion "Things you can say about your motorcycle, but not your girlfriend" returned this gem:
Greg: Sure, you can ride her; everyone else has!
Pretty much every "Things you can say about X, but not your girlfriend" suggestion implied this at least once.
Real Men Wear Pink: In the 2013 revival, one game of "What's in the Bag" has Colin forgetting he's supposed to be a doctor and instead goes Drill Sergeant Nasty. "You gotta be enough of a man... to carry a purse!"
Real Song Theme Tune: The radio series was introduced by a version of George Gershwin's "I Got Rhythm".
Rearrange the Song: The first few episodes of the U.S. version's first season. This theme music was remixed to the more well-known version that was used for the vast majority of the series.
Redshirt Reporter: Many Newsflashes fall into this, especially if they involve animals or explosions. An example is when footage of a lizard running towards the camera played, and Ryan and Kathy warned Colin to start running from it:
Colin: (stops running in place) Did you see that? Ryan: I STILL SEE THAT!!! (Colin begins running again)
Riddle for the Ages: Why was Kathy Greenwood never featured in any singing games? Did she request not to be featured in them because she thought she'd do badly or was embarrassed? (She's had to sing several times in Scenes from a Hat, Hollywood Director and other games, and didn't sound bad at all.)
Constant jokes aimed at Colin, mostly from Ryan, about the Canadian dollar supposedly being this. Started even in the British series, where the audience only got the joke from context.
Ryan: How much would you pay for this 30-CD set? Colin: I'd pay anything up to $50,000! (audience laughs) But...I'm an idiot! Ryan: And you're from Canada! So with the exchange... Colin: I'm still an idiot!
In the Jerry Springer edition of The Millionaire Show, Ryan (playing something of a redneck type) was excited that the top prize for the show was a mere $100.
Another Canadian/U.S. example occurred in the "Greatest Hits" of marriage:
Ryan: Sometimes, it's a hassle, but I'm so glad I'm married. Colin: I guess that's why you've done it eight times! Ryan: Well, you're Canadian, that's only five to you. Colin That's true.
Colin, during "Number of Words" as C-3PO: "My pants... metal." Though to elaborate: Colin was only allowed to say three words, so he had to cut his sentence short. As a happy coincidence, though, it worked for the purposes of his robot character.
In a playing of "Film, TV & Theater Styles", Ryan played a Terminator-style character who asked Colin, "May I have one of your tasty pork tubage?" (referring to hot dogs)
Robot Buddy: In the episode guest starring David Hasselhoff, Three-Headed Broadway Star concluded and Ryan joked that David's going to play the game with his car on the way home: "I, Drive, You, And, You..."
Rockers Smash Guitars: Frequently done by Wayne, Brad, and/or Chip during "Greatest Hits" if hard rock or heavy metal is the music style. Also performed a few times in "Props" if the prop resembles a guitar.
Averted in one "Greatest Hits", when the guitar is calmly placed back in its case.
Redundant Parody: Occasionally occurs; a playing of "Scenes Cut From a Movie" with the suggestion of Star Wars didn't return dialog or moments all that much different from what was seen in the actual films.
Rouge Angles of Satin: In a game of Party Quirks, the subtitle at the bottom of the screen informs the home audience that Mike McShane is playing a Columbian Drugs Baron. Shouldn't that be Colombian, producers?
Rule 34: "People you don't want to see naked on the internet."
Ryan, during a "Scenes From a Hat" suggestion of "Latin American Soccer Announcers on Their Day Off":
Ryan: I'll have a cheeseburger, some fries, and a COOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!!! (leaves stage; comes back to give another suggestion) You forgot my COOOOOOOOOOOKE!!! (leaves; comes back again)WHERE THE HELL'S MY COOOOOOOOOOKE?!?!"
This is also present in some of the games themselves. For example, Greatest Hits usually features three songs, Hollywood Director usually shows three takes of the scene, and in guessing games like Party Quirks and Let's Make A Date, there are three performers with unusual personalities.
After a playing of "Questions With Wigs", Wayne thanked Drew three times in rapid succession:
Drew: 1,000 points to Wayne. Wayne: Thanks, man. Drew: That was really good. Wayne: Thanks, brother. Drew: I love it when you get your voice all deep for me. Wayne: Thanks, baby.