Multiple Choice Form Letter

A form of letter or other writing where the least amount of personalization has been made via circling multiple choices or fill-in-the-blanks. The blanks are often names or dates, as these are elements that are impossible to make uniform. For example a letter might start "Dear [ ], we were happy to receive your opinions on [ ]" so that the blanks can be filled in and customized with the correct name and information later.

In Real Life this trope is simply a practical way to save effort, but in fiction it is often played for laughs as a fill-in-the-blanks letter contains faux-sincere language or is hilariously inapplicable to the given situation. This is actually the concept behind the children's game, Mad Libs where a short story is told with blanks left so that a group can yell out random words fill it in creating a humorous nonsense story.

A common gag with such letters is for the whole thing to be read in full, including Reading the Stage Directions Out Loud; "Dear square bracket name of recipient square bracket we are pleased slash sorry to inform you..."

When the trope is verbalized it becomes Mad Libs Dialogue.

Not to be confused with Multiple-Choice Past which is something entirely different.

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Examples:

Fan Works

• The very brief Sleepless Domain fic "Condolences" takes the form of a stock letter from the City Defense Department to the parents of a Magical Girl (in this case, Sylvia) to inform them that their daughter has been killed in the line of duty. The concept alone puts a disturbingly impersonal and "business-as-usual" spin on the Death of a Child, which is very much in line with the source material.
• In How The Tantabus Parses Sleep, Princess Celestia uses these to reject suitors and advises Moondog to come up with one of her own:
  Dear [Pony Name Here],
  
  I am [▢ entranced / ▢ flattered / ▢ unswayed / ▢ vexed / ▢ horrified and disgusted] by your ([▢ offer of]) [▢ odes and poems / ▢ gifts / ▢ land / ▢ vassalage / ▢ wealth / ▢ countless equine sacrifices in my name]. [▢ Unfortunately / ▢ Therefore / ▢ As such], in light of [▢ our respective positions in Equestria / ▢ the current political climate / ▢ my own personal feelings / ▢ your previous such attempts / ▢ this depraved, heinous act against the dignity of living beings of all kinds], I must inform you that [▢ as a busy mare, I cannot in good faith accept them / ▢ your persistence in your fruitless attempts to woo me has become grating / ▢ I have already made my decision concerning the treaty / ▢ I’m coming for you, you deplorable aberration].
  
  [▢ I would welcome more correspondence in the future as friends, if you would accept it. / ▢ Cease your “courtship” immediately. You are not entitled to me. / ▢ Your attempts to get on my good side for politicking are even more transparent than glass. / ▢ Pray].
  
  Princess Celestia of [▢ Equestria / ▢ the Cleansing Flame of the Infinite]

Literature

• The Big Book of Top Gear includes a parody form letter for Daily Mail readers to use every time they want to complain about the show, with checkboxes for things like "I was [disgusted/enraged/sickened/aroused] to see [Jeremy/James/That girl]..." and so on.
• In Discworld, Corporal Carrot doesn't seem to grasp the concept of form letters as he leads the new Night Watch recruits in taking the oath:
  "I comma square bracket recruit's name square bracket comma do solemnly swear by square bracket recruit's deity of choice square bracket to uphold the Laws and Ordinances of the city of Ankh-Morpork, serve the public trust comma and defend the subjects of His stroke Her bracket delete whichever is inappropriate bracket Majesty bracket name of reigning monarch bracket..." and so on.
• In Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Greg uses a form with blanks to write thank-you notes to his relatives for their Christmas presents. It's not very personal.
  "Dear [Aunt Loretta], Thank you so much for the awesome [pants]! How did you know I wanted that for Christmas? I love the way the [pants] looks on my [legs]! All my friends will be so jealous that I have my very own [pants]."
• In Catch-22 to show how little the commanding officers cared about their men, Colonel Cathcart and Lieutenant Colonel Korn use a form letter to tell the relatives of soldiers that their [Husband / Father / Brother / Son] has been [Wounded / Killed / Captured].

Live-Action TV

• How I Met Your Mother:
  • Barney has a form letter he leaves to girls who he sleeps with and then walks out on. At one point, he cannot remember the girls name and simply fills in "Resident".
    Letter: Dear [Resident], The time we spent together, however long it was, meant the world to me. I would love to see you again but unfortunately I cannot. You see, I am a ghost. I can only materialize once every decade, on the anniversary of my death. I chose to spend my one day among the living with you, sweet [resident]. Perhaps we will meet again, in another decade—provided you keep your figure. Until then, all my love from the beyond, Barney.
    Resident: Barney... Who the hell is Barney?
  • In one episode, Marshall rereads an old Mad Libs book where every word he's filled in is some form of "fart". He still finds it pretty funny.
• Doctor Who: To overcome his current incarnations Lack of Empathy, the Twelfth Doctor and Clara devised a set of cue cards with stock phrases to reassure or apologise to scared people they are trying to save. The only problem is that the Doctor will read what is written out on the card in full, without inflection. While we only see one example of this trope in action, there are multiple cue cards with the multiple choice options.
  "I'm very sorry for your loss. I'll do all I can to solve the death of your friend/family member/pet."
  "No one is going to be eaten/vapourised/exterminated/upgraded/possessed/wounded/turned to jelly. We'll all get out of this unharmed."
• Two of the physical task letters in Series 15 of Taskmaster took this form.
  • In "Schrödinger's egg", each contestant was supposed to write down a number between 1 and 100, a length of time between 1 minute and 20 minutes, five ingredients, a country, a noun and an adjective. Their next task was to make a [adjective] [country adjectival] [noun] using all of the ingredients they specified, and to clap their chosen number of times before their chosen amount of time runs out. Kiell won the task, even when he only had 1 minute and 21 seconds to make a cowering Kenyan bench out of sausages, buns, ketchup, mustard, and grilled onions, and clap 7 times.
  • In the team task of "A yardstick for failure", each team had to write the name of a profession in the hole in the task before opening it... revealing that their main task is to write and perform an original lullaby for that profession. Jenny, Kiell and Mae won the task with their lullaby about an artist.

Magazines

• There are lots of these in Private Eye, in the form of apologies from papers. For example, in a year when news about youth anorexia and obesity had been circulating, the apology would end with the note: "For God's sake, [stop / keep] eating."

Tabletop Games

• Shadowrun sometimes used this with electronic form letters. The computer sending the letter decides which phrase to use depending on the recipient's status.

Video Games

• In Control, this is how the Board, the Enigmatic Empowering Entity, speaks, occasionally giving you several options for its lines. Usually, the options are functionally identical, which makes the ones that don't seem to mean the same... ever so slightly unsettling.
  <Only the Director can wield the Gun/Sword/Intentionally left blank>
  <Now you/we control the gun/you>
• Used by Saxton Hale of Team Fortress 2 fame. Most famously◊ he uses the same form letter for prospective business partners and lawsuit targets, just with the friendly or hostile options ticked respectively.
• In Stellaris, the Contingency that may spawn as an endgame Crisis faction communicates like this, as it announces its intention to redact/offline/dismantle the sapient races of the galaxy. It's another indication that it's not functioning quite right.

Web Animation

• In If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device, Belisarius Cawl speaks like this. In canon, it's mentioned that Cawl is a Mind Hive of AI copies of his brain working together, but in TTS they're a bit discordant, leaving Cawl a Mood-Swinger who abruptly switches between feminine/calm/AGGRESSIVE words mid-sentence, such as when given a kill order by his boss.
  Cawl: Any particular reason/rationale?
  The Fabricator-General: None of your concerrrnnn.
  Cawl: That's fair/fine/FUCK YOU.

Webcomics

• In Penny Arcade, Tycho writes a comic using blanks so that he has a comic ready about a convention he has yet to attend. It's played for laughs because it results in Mad Libs Dialogue.

Web Original

• The "Standardized Bonehead Reply Form" to clueless people on the Net uses this format.
• A form letter detailing common objections to suggested methods of fighting spam has widely circulated on Slashdot's comments section and other forums.

Western Animation

• Futurama: At the start of "Insane in the Mainframe," Hermes does the bare minimum to celebrate Zoidberg's anniversary with the company, not even bothering to alter the template for the celebration speech.
  Hermes: Dear employee. Has it really been five, 10 or 15 years? If not, please disregard this and get back to work. Distribute token of appreciation and applaud.

Real Life

• Steve Martin's stock fan letter reply.
  • Robert A. Heinlein also had a checkbox letter that he used for responses to fan mail.
• Saxton Hale from Team Fortress 2 responds to events in the real world with letters of this form, with one for fans ordering items and one for inventors and invention thieves.
  I look forward to [X] WORKING WITH YOU IN THE FUTURE [ ] PUMMELING YOU TO DEATH WITH MY DAMN BARE HANDS.
• Field Postcards sent by soldiers to their loved ones during World War I contained nothing but a series of basic statements that were scratched out to leave a coherent message. To censor sensitive information, anything that was added to the card other than the multiple-choice answers was destroyed.
• Back in The '70s when the generic "brand" first became popular, there was a parody "Generic Greeting Card". It looked like the standard generic style on the outside, reading GREETING CARD, and on the inside there was a list of checkoffs with boxes [Happy Birthday / Happy Anniversary / Congratulations / Hello / etc.]
• Anything done with a mail merge system, like stock emails, letters, etc.
• A common military saying: "Don't worry about the bullet with your name on it. Worry about the one addressed 'To Whom It May Concern'".
• The Bureau of Communication is a humorous site with fill-in-the-blank letters for things like apologies, bad news, thank-you notes, and marriage proposals. For example, someone filled out the apology form in the style of Kylo Ren writing to General Hux:
  It has come to my attention that my action of [destroying shit with my saber] could be seen as [ ] offensive [x] annoying [ ] selfish [ ] hurtful. I never intended to [make you bitch + whine], I want you to understand that I was merely trying to [vent my frustrations], though I can see now that it may appear that I was [being "violent"]. Please accept my [frankly unnecessary] apology. Moving forward, I will attempt to [not give a shit about your feelings]. That, said, I would very much appreciate it if you [stopped fucking telling me what to do, asshole]. Sincerely, your [cause of death if you're not careful], [Kylo Ren].
  
  Additional notes: [I can do whatever the fuck I want, you fucking ginger space nazi.]

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