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Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

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"Yeah. That is a gun in my pants. But that doesn't mean I'm not happy to see you..."

Bob is a private detective. He's sitting in his office and waiting to meet his client, Alice. Bob has never met Alice in person before; he's only spoken to her on the phone. He has seen a picture of her before and, well, he… likes what he sees. The door to his office opens and he stands up. In walks Alice. Alice is extremely beautiful in a Gaussian Girl or Head-Turning Beauty sort of way. Bob tries to keep his excitement down at meeting this gorgeous woman and tries to remain all business. Alice, however, is all too aware of the sort of effect she has on men. Noticing the look on Bob's face — and Bob's pants — she offers a sweet, sultry smile, and says, "Why, detective, is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

A clever Stock Phrase originating from early Hollywood sex symbol Mae West in which one character asks another if they have an erection while suggesting a less risqué reason for the other character to have a bulge in their pants. It has now become a common innuendo usually uttered by flirty women (or, occasionally, men). It's been said so much in media that subversions are more common; something besides an erection is in their pants.

While the specific line just happens to be from Mae West, this one is arguably Older Than Feudalism:

Herald: I am a herald, of course, I swear I am, and I come from Sparta about making peace.
Magistrate: But look, you are hiding a lance under your clothes, surely.
Lysistrata, Aristophanes, 411 BC

See also Something Else Also Rises, Double Entendre, That's What She Said. For when it really is a gun in their pocket, see Trouser Space or Phallic Weapon.


Examples

    open/close all folders 

    Anime & Manga 
  • Inverted in the second volume of The Kindaichi Case Files: Miyuki, wearing a low-cut dress, crouches down in front of Kindaichi, giving him a good look at her cleavage. As she stands up, she notices his reaction and scolds him for keeping stuff in his suit pockets.
  • After Sechs gets a male body in Battle Angel Alita: Last Order, the team's Deckman servant greets him with this line.
  • Done in the infamous Code Geass swimsuit Picture Drama. Cornelia's bodyguards Guilford and Darlton are standing watch as Cornelia and Euphemia try on swimsuits, with a lot of suggestive dialog. Immediately afterwards, we see Guilford looking down as he asks Darlton if that's really the best place to store his handgun (we later see that he's in a Speedo).
  • In the Latin Spanish dub of Komi Can't Communicate, while they're celebrating Komi's birthday at her house, Najimi sits on top of Tadano's lap and then says "Hey, do you have another glass hidden, or are you just happy to see me?"
  • In episode 8 of the Shakugan no Shana parody Shakugan no Shana-tan, Wilhelmina and Margery are recast as prostitutes in a brothel Sabrac visits. Margery gets excited at how "large" he is down there, but he says it is the .44 Magnum in his pants.

    Comics 
  • A variation from Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?
    Hooker: I could break your heart for $50.
    Metallo: (Rips open shirt to reveal a grappling hook where his heart should be) I doubt it.
  • Cable & Deadpool:
    • Lampshaded:
      Cable: Did you go to a bar with a grenade in your pocket?
      Deadpool: Or am I just happy to see you?
    • Played with again in an issue of a later volume after taking a Groin Attack which hurt Black Widow (the blonde one, Yelena Belova, actually Natasha Romanoff working undercover in Norman Osborn's Thunderbolts) as well. See the Page Quote. Cue Black Widow trying to hold the laughter in.
  • An issue of DC Comics' series Young Justice featured Superboy, Robin, and Impulse at a Halloween party. A cheerleader flirts with Robin asking if he has a Batarang in his pocket, or if he's just happy to see her. He responses "Um, I'm happy to see everyone here..."
  • In Top 10, after getting knocked into Dust Devil, Jackie Phantom says "That had better be a derringer in your pocket," to which Dust Devil replies, looking insulted, "Derringer?"
  • In Universe X, Venom (Mayday Parker) and dad Spidey are out of the fight with a gigantic Absorbing Man due to being hopelessly outclassed (he's taken on the attributes of Manhattan itself and is taller than the city skyline), so Spidey coaches her on one-liners "to make everyone think we have a plan". She finishes up with "Is that the Chrysler Building in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Everyone glares at them for making light of the catastrophe, and Peter responds with "Damn. We're in that much trouble?"
  • Inverted variation in Soeur Marie-Therese:
    Camille: (Not wearing any pants) I'm so happy to see you!
    Marie-Therese: Yes, I've noticed.
  • When Black Canary and Zatanna see Justice League action figures in a toy store, Zatanna teases her friend by making the Black Canary and Green Arrow action figures talk to each other in cheesy porn movie dialogue. In particular, "Black Canary" uses "Is that an arrow in your quiver or are you just happy to see me."
  • Once, Robin (Dick Grayson) and Batgirl (Barbara Gordon), were trapped in a safe by Crazy Quilt. Due to how close they were together, and Dick's attraction to her, Barbara asks, or hopes, if it's his belt that's touching her leg. Him standing awkwardly as Batman saves them suggests it wasn't.
  • In the Canardo story: The Girl who Dreamt of the Horizon, a seductive lady thinks Canardo is getting "excited", but he says he just has a revolver in his pocket. After they're interrupted by a motorcycle gang's attack, she is surprised to find out he wasn't kidding.

    Fan Works 

    Films — Live-Action 
  • "Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?", supposedly said by Mae West at the railway station in Los Angeles upon her return from Chicago, when a Los Angeles police officer was assigned to escort her home in 1936. She delivered the line on film to George Hamilton in her last movie, Sextette (1978).
  • It's Pat!: When asked if Pat has a banana in a pocket, or are you just happy to see me, Pat simply whips out a banana and says "I, uh, have a banana in my pocket."
  • Who Framed Roger Rabbit: When Eddie is rather obviously hiding Roger underneath his trenchcoat, Dolores sarcastically asks "Is that a rabbit in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" Eddie immediately asks her to "cut the comedy".
  • Ace Ventura: Pet Detective uses a variation on this as a plot point. When Lois Einhorn pushes herself onto Ace to seduce him, he mutters "Your gun is digging into my hip." As he's later heard crying in the shower, it wasn't a gun: Einhorn is actually Ray Finkle, a psychotic (male) football player who had heaps of plastic surgery to disguise himself as part of an elaborate revenge scheme against Dan Marino. Ace is none too thrilled when he reaches this conclusion.
  • From The Pirate Movie: "Is that a knife in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?" It turned out to be a knife that the pirate threw into the wall before demonstrating that he was indeed glad to see her.
  • Used in Blazing Saddles by Lily von Shtup, unsurprisingly. "Is that a ten-gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show?"note 
  • America's Sweethearts: During a dream sequence, we get this conversation between the ex-sweethearts: "Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" "Actually, it's a gun." [shoots her repeatedly]
  • Done in the Eddie Murphy remake of The Nutty Professor, by the main character's Jerkass alter ego.
    [hugging older woman from behind] "Is that a test tube in my pocket, or am I just happy to see you?"
  • Used for Homoerotic Subtext in The Big Red One. Two soldiers are sleeping close to each other.
    "Zeff, quit pockin' me with your rifle."
    "That's not my rifle, Johnson."
  • In The Chaperone, Triple H's character hugs a man, then says in disgust, "That had better be your fanny pack."
  • In Machete, the naked woman in the opening feels Machete's pants and asks, "What is this long, hard thing?" He answers, "My machete." It is.
  • Red 2. A Korean hitman is shooting at Frank Moss and Marvin Boggs with a mini-Gatling gun. Frank hugs the pavement as vehicles are chewed to pieces around him, only to find Marvin clutching him tightly for equally ineffectual cover.
    Frank: Marvin, is that a stick of dynamite in your pocket?
    Marvin: Yeah, but I'm saving it for an emergency.
    Frank: Well, this is kinda an emergency, isn't it?
  • Done without the line in Hotel! Paul McGann's character is seen with a gigantic bulge in his itty bitty bicycle shorts; it turns out to be a chain lock for his bicycle.
  • An awkward moment for Nick in Youth in Revolt. He sits on Sheeni while rubbing some suncream on her back.
    Sheeni: Hm, you get turned on easily. [Nick freezes] Don't stop, Nick. It's only natural. Girls are fortunate in that it doesn't show. [As he continues] For all the world knows, my vagina could be moist with desire as we speak.
  • In Ted, when John and Lori are getting intimate at one point, she coyly asks if he has a Flash Gordon laser gun in his pocket. Turns out he does. She laughs and they continue.
  • Get Smart: In an alternate take of the rooftop fight with Dalip, there's a bit more dialogue when Max lands facedown on Agent 99:
    Agent 99: Max, I thought you lost your gun.
    Max: ...I have to go.
    • Later, when Max lands on top of Agent 23:
    23: Is that your gun, Max?
    Max: No, it's my penis!
  • In the scifi B-Movie Legion (1998), the protagonist overpowers his guards and bursts into a darkened room waving a pistol. The room is empty as we hear a woman sniggering, "Is that a gun or is he just happy to see me?" The lights then come on to reveal a row of male and female prisoners lined up waiting for him to join their ranks for The Dirty Dozen IN SPACE!
  • Pistolera: When Angel is being released from prison, one of the guards grabs her and pins her up against the wall. She responds by wrapping her legs around his waist, and then remarks that it had better a knife in his pocket.
  • In Free Guy, when Millie lands on Guy's lap:
    Millie: Is that a Glock in your pocket?
    Guy: No.
    Millie: What?
    Guy: It’s two Glocks.
    [Millie smiles and takes the Glocks.]
    Guy: Oh!

    Literature 
  • Discworld has the old Troll pickup line, mentioned in Moving Pictures, "Is that the legendary Sceptre of Magma who was King of the Mountain, Smiter of Thousands, Yea, Even Tens of Thousands, Ruler of the Golden River, Master of the Bridges, Delver in Dark Places, Crusher of Many Enemies *takes a breath* in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?" The line is thankfully a lot more snappy in the original trollish.
  • Dragaera: Cawti, visiting Vlad Taltos in his bedroom, noticed a bulge in the blanket and asked, "Is that a knife in your hand, or are you happy to see me?" Vlad answered truthfully, "Both."
  • In a moment that's a beautiful microcosm of the Dresden Files series of as a whole, Elaine, Harry's former girlfriend that he spent most of his life thinking he'd killed, returns suddenly with a "Hello Harry, is that a wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" Magic, noir mystery, Harry being a nerd, and Jim Butcher's fantastic sense of humor, all in one line.
  • An innocent variation in Animorphs: Morphing is a painless process, so Rachel is surprised when she starts feeling pain during the process of going from seagull to human.
    There was a pain in my back and I had this jolt of fear. Was I feeling the morphing itself? The Andalite morphing technology keeps that from happening, but was it failing somehow? The pain was pretty severe, like the pressure of a... well, of a knee being driven into my back.
    "Jake, do you have your knee in—"
  • The Bronze Horsemen by Paullina Simons. When Captain Belov decides to consummate his marriage to Tatiana, the following dialogue occurs.
    "Do you feel me, pressing against your hip?"
    "Mmmm; I thought that was your rifle."
    "Whatever you want to call it is fine by me."
  • The Detachment. Dox releases a teenaged girl they're holding hostage and is uncomfortable with how much he enjoys being hugged by her in gratitude. There's a gun tucked into his front waistband, so he thinks that it will do as an appropriate metaphor.

    Live-Action TV 
  • In 'Allo 'Allo!, René gets alarmed while smooching an Action Girl from the Communist resistance group.
    Rene: What is that I feel between us?
    Louise: (removes a Luger from her trousers) Oh, it's only my pistol and a couple of hand grenades.
  • A subversion from Scrubs
    Gift Shop Girl: Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket, or are you just having a really good time?
    J.D.: Actually it is a roll of quarters. (takes it out and shrugs awkwardly) Laundry day…
  • The X-Files:
    • A deleted scene from the episode "Home" has the subversion when it's really an object in his pocket. Taken from the scene where the duo is doing an autopsy on a dead infant in an impossibly tiny bathroom (the "dead infant" part probably explains why the exchange was cut), Scully stops suddenly and looks at Mulder incredulously, who is behind her.
      Mulder: That's my penlight.
      Scully: Really? I thought a longstanding curiosity had just been satisfied.
    • In the episode "Hollywood A.D.", the on-screen adaptations of Mulder and Scully have a moment. They roll into a coffin together, and Scully asks whether it's his flashlight or if he's just happy with their position. The joke is further extended when the movie Scully tells Mulder she's in love with A.D. Skinner. When asked by Mulder what Skinner has that he doesn't, Scully answers "bigger flashlight".
      Movie Scully: Is that your flashlight, Mulder, or are you just happy to be laying on top of me?
      Movie Mulder: My flashlight.
    • In the episode "Roadrunners", Agent Doggett phones in a lead on the local cult that kidnapped Scully, explaining "I just talked to a guy with a gun in his pocket — and I don't mean he was happy to see me!"
  • Pee-wee's Playhouse substituted "wrench", and had Miss Yvonne say it to Carlos. He had a wrench, obviously.
  • Lord Flasheart does this to himself in series two of Blackadder. "Nursie! I like it firm and fruity. Am I pleased to see you, or did I just put a CANOE in my pocket?!".
  • Used in Pushing Daisies, though without the exact line. After Olive kissed Ned in a previous episode, Olive tries to make light of the awkwardness between them. When they bump against each other, she says "This is...what it is, isn't it? Unless that's not a rolling pin under your apron." Ned, of course, reaches under his apron and produces a rolling pin. Olive is quite the optimist, it seems.
  • There is an episode of Stargate SG-1 where Carter and O'Neill are laying together for warmth. It's purely a joke on O'Neill's part since he's half-dead at this point and Carter wasn't feeling anything but drawing his attention to something else she'd noticed.
    Carter: Uh, sir?
    O'Neill: It's my sidearm, I swear.
  • Spin City:
    Caitlin: You're enjoying this, aren't you?
    Mike: What? No.
    Caitlin: Then what's that pressing against me?
    Mike: It's a cross wrench.
    Caitlin: I don't care what you call it, just pull it back.
    Mike: (produces cross wrench) It's a cross wrench.
    Caitlin: Well, what's that?
    Mike: OK, maybe I'm enjoying this a little.
  • Happens beautifully in the The Office (US), when Pam hugs Michael after he stands up for her.
    Pam:' Do you have something in your pocket?
    (long, awkward pause)
    Michael: A Chunky. (takes Chunky candy bar out of his pocket)
  • The Thin Blue Line: PC Maggie Habib is getting into character for an entrapment operation, and uses the line on PC Kevin Goody—a naive manchild-type character with a crush on her. Melting in embarrassment, he replies "Actually, it's a Mars Bar"
  • In the 3rd Rock from the Sun episode "Why Dickie Can't Teach", Harry enters an executive meeting with a salami in one of his pockets (long story) and someone asks him if that's a salami in his pocket. He, of course, replies, "Nah, I'm just happy to see ya."
  • In Robin Hood TV series:
    Marion: Why Robin, is that Sir Guy's sword in your scabbard?
    Robin: No, I'm just happy to see you!
  • Referenced in the finale of The Detectives:
    "Um, no, actually, it's my inhaler."
  • NCIS. Ziva accidentally falls on top of McGee while inspecting a robot car.
    Ziva: That had better be your handcuffs.
    • Abby enthusiastically hugs Gibbs after a long absence, then asks if that's his badge she's feeling. Gibbs naturally produces his badge.
    • Tony also preemptively denied it whilst rolling naked in a bed with Ziva. "For your information, that's my knee!"
    • And then again with Tony and Ziva, when she jumps on top of him to protect him from an explosion, and knocks him to the ground, staying on top of him.
      Tony: This is nice. I miss the old Ziva.
      Ziva: I can tell.
      Tony: Don't flatter yourself. That's just my knee. (both smile at each other.)
  • White Collar, after a female suspect searches Neal very thoroughly for bugs:
    Agent Lauren Cruz: What is that? She making sure that's not a gun in his pocket?
  • Subversion in Comedy Inc.
    Woman: Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
    Man: Both. *Shoots her*
  • Lampshaded slightly in the series Alien Nation; a neighbor of Detective Matt Sikes gives him a plate of poached trout for dinner, in gratitude for an act of kindness that Matt didn't remember performing. He then visits Newcomer neighbor (and inevitable romantic interest) Cathy, who greets him teasingly at the door; "Well, Matt, is that a fish in your hand or am I happy to see you...no, that didn't come out right."
  • Subverted in an episode of the short-lived series The Commish. In a dream episode set in an old crime-noir setting, the main character pulls a gun out of his pocket to which, the Femme Fatale responds, "That was a gun? I thought you were just happy to see me!".
  • Happens in Bones when Booth and the title character go to a strip club, and the woman that they're questioning gives Booth a lap dance. He insists, "That's my gun." He does, however, send Bones away at the end of the scene.
  • Played with in Supernatural.
    Dean: Oh God, please let that be a rifle.
    Jo: (holding a gun to his back) No, I'm just really happy to see you.
  • Sherlock:
    • In the climactic scene of the first season finale:
      Moriarty: Is that a British Army Browning L9A1 in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?
      Sherlock: [aims the gun at him] Both.
    • In the series three finale, Charles Magnussen's men frisk both Sherlock and John before their first meeting. Sherlock assumes they needn't bother with John, only to see he's carrying both a switchblade and a tire iron (having visited a drug den on a case earlier — he took the knife off someone who threatened him).
      John: [to the guard] Doesn't mean I'm not pleased to see you.
    • Used once again in the 2015/2016 New Year's Special, with two different euphemisms.
      Moriarty: It's a dangerous habit, to finger a loaded firearm in the pocket of one's dressing gown. Or are you just pleased to see me?
      Sherlock: You'll forgive me for taking precautions.
  • On one episode of the mock talk show Night Stand With Dick Dietrich, two guests were competing for a free plastic surgery; a woman with a huge nose and a man with a tiny penis. Over the course of the show, they fell in love and decided they didn't need the surgery. As they embraced for the first time...
    Woman: Hey, is that a roll of pennies in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
    Man: Well, I am happy to see you, but… (takes coins out of his pocket) yeah, it's just a roll of pennies.
  • Married... with Children played with this trope at least twice.
    • Peg once asked Al if that was money in your pocket or if he was happy to see her. She then realized it had to be money.
    • Kelly once had to play the role of Madame Curie and assumed she was some hooker but Bud quickly explained who Madame Curie was. The mistake wasn't mentioned during the rest of the episode but was referenced to when Kelly's version of Madame Curie asked somebody if that was radium in his pocket or if he was happy to see her.
  • Lois & Clark: At the two-part finale of Season 1, Lex Luthor bought Kryptonite from a dealer who tried to kill him to get the money and keep the Kryptonite. After the dealer and Lex's hired double killed each other, Luthor reclaimed the Kryptonite and searched the dealer's pockets for the Kryptonite, asking if there was Kryptonite inside them or if he was happy to see Luthor.
  • Subverted in The Golden Girls: Blanche Devereaux asks one of the men at the local bar this. Turns out he really is carrying a gun in his pocket.
  • Parodied in Time Gentlemen Please:
    Janet: Is that a spanner in your pocket, or do you just have a six-inch metallic penis?
  • On Game of Thrones, Jon and Ygritte have to snuggle for warmth when they sleep. The next morning they are both surprised by Jon's reaction.
    Ygritte: Did you pull a knife on me during the night?
  • On Glee Sam and Blaine hug it out after Sam tells Blaine that he's fine with his crush on him. Then Sam asks if what he's feeling is a roll of breath mints in Blaine's pants. It was.
  • On the British sketch show Al Murray's Multiple Personality Disorder, there was a skit involving gay Nazi Ueberbombfuehrur Horst Schwul arresting an American soldier (played by John Barrowman) who had just parachuted into the German's camp. They quickly take a liking to each other, which leads to this exchange:
    American Soldier: Is that a Luger in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?
    Horst Schwul: …both!
  • Referenced on Arrow. Because he's obsessed with tracking down the Arrow, Roy Harper steals a radio from the police station, which starts squawking in the middle of his date with Thea Queen.
    Thea: (alarmed) Do you have a police radio in your pocket?
    Roy: No, I'm just happy to see you.
  • In The New Statesman Alan poses as a terrorist hijacking a plane after one of his schemes backfires, and takes the Sexy Stewardess hostage. As he gives orders she says "do what he says, he's got a gun pressing into my back!" One of his hands is around her neck, the other is holding a grenade.
  • In Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Rebecca tries to have a one-night stand and sings "Sex with a Stranger," which includes the line, "Is that a gun?! Oh thank God, it’s just your penis."
  • Upstart Crow: In "If You Prick Me, Do I Not Bleed?", Kit says that a woman accused him of hiding a baguette in his tights, but it was a misunderstanding and he was just glad to see her.
  • In Living Color!: During one of The Head Detective skits when Head was Disguised in Drag, he asks the mobster he's trying to seduce "Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you Pee-Wee Herman?"
  • My Left Nut: Rachael mistakes the bulge in Mick's pants with him having a Raging Stiffie, and because it's so big she also thinks he has Gag Penis. The real reason is because his testicle is swollen.
  • CSI: NY: Flack and Stella interview a suspect whom they know from surveillance video has a green handkerchief, which they think was used to suffocate a victim. Flack asks the man, "What's that bulge in your pocket? And don't get cute!" The guy pulls out the hankie and gives it to them.

    Magazines 
  • In a Game Informer review of the PlayStation Portable version of Madden NFL 06 (November 2005, Issue #151), the subtitle under the review header says, "Is that a football in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
  • GamePro's review of the Sega Dreamcast version of Nightmare Creatures II says, "Is that a bloody axe in your hand or are you just happy to see me?"
  • Playboy: A variation in a one-page cartoon in a Wild West setting: the naughty granny is spooning with an old-timer in a sleeping bag.
    Old-timer: It's long and hard, y'say? Gal, you got your hand on my six-gun!

    Music 
  • Pet Shop Boys use a variant of this in "Pandemonium" to imply the subject… err… likes wild parties:
    Is this a riot, or are you just pleased to see me?
    Why aren't we holding hands and talking sweet?
  • This line appears in a Britney Spears song called "Kill The Lights": "Is that money in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"
  • "Bullet" by Jessie James.
    Be careful what you wish for, you get what you see
    Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
  • A well-loved 1970s Swedish revue number, "Vad har du i fickan, Jan?"note  has the performers dancing the tango. The male sings the verses about how he loves to dance close embrace style tango, but always gets this strange question—then the female takes over the refrain, which is her speculating about what he might have in his pocket, namely a giant banana, a rolled-up poster, a baguette, one of Tarzan's liana vines, a hefty tulip, or maybe a live swan?
  • Eminem's "Key (Skit)" is a really stupid freestyled song in which Slim bellows some stuff in an accent starting with "Is that a key in your pocket or are you just happy to see the hot chicks that are here for me and only me!"

    Radio 
  • Parodied in the I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue take-off of Alice in Wonderland, Humph in Wonderland: "Is that a piano, or are you just unbelievably pleased to see me?"
  • Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me: In 2006 Adam Felber's knack for guessing the setups in the panel questions he got was a running gag (collected in a Clip Show segment under "Is Adam Felber Psychic?"), in this case leading inevitably to the trope punchline.
    Peter Sagal: Adam, a Florida man was arrested for shoplifting after he tried unsuccessfully to hide what in his shorts?
    Adam Felber: This is one of those questions where you want me to embarrass myself by saying something like "sausage", and the answer is in fact "sausage."
    Peter: Yes, it was a 12-inch-long pepperoni.
    Adam: Yeah. (laughter)
    Peter: Rodney A. Covington's partially concealed sausage attracted the attention (Adam laughs loudly) of the manager of the Cash and Carry Convenience Store. Covington explained that he had put the meat into his shorts because he had hurt his hand, you see, and couldn't carry a shopping basket. The manager then noticed the pound of pepper-jack cheese in Covington's hip pocket and called the cops.
    Adam: You know, if you're a criminal out there, just imagine the headline before you commit the crime. If you can't do the headline, don't commit the crime.
    Peter: What the did the manager say? "Are you going to pay for that, or are you just happy to see me?"

    Theatre 
  • The stage play Lost in Yonkers reveals that Uncle Louie does keep a gun in his pocket. He says that the ladies think it's something else when they dance real close.
  • From the second Bottom Live stage show, as Richie and Eddie, in prison, rehearse for Richie's forthcoming encounter with the jail's Mister Big:
    Richie: Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you pleased to see me?
    Eddie: Why, it's... [pulls out gun] A gun!
    Richie: My, it is a whopper, isn't i—FUCKING HELL EDDIE THAT'S A GUN!
  • The Pee-wee Herman Show on Broadway: When all the lights go out, Pee-Wee begins searching for his flashlight with his friends, and we can only the characters By the Lights of Their Eyes. The flashlight in question is unquestionably Conkey's... thing.
    Pee-Wee: Oh, here's my flashlight! Ha-ha! Hm, I can't find the button.
    Conkey: That's not a fl-fl-fl-fl-flashlight, Pee-Wee!
    Pee-Wee: Oh! Sorry, Conkey.

    Magic Screen: Ooh… wow… here's the flashlight.
    Conkey: M-m-magic Screen, th-thats not the flashlight! Th-th-that's not the flashlight!
    Magic Screen:' Well, that's not my belly button either.
  • Older Than Feudalism: In Lysistrata, the magistrate has the following line:
    But look, you are hiding a lance under your clothes, surely.

    Video Games 
  • Used in Monkey Island: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see us?" The hero had just stolen a banana from these guys. They weren't pleased.
    • Also in the PS3 version of Tales of Monkey Island, one of the bronze trophies obtained in Chapter 1 (when Guybrush sees the effects of the Pox of LeChuck on the inhabitants) is labeled, "Is That a Pox on Your Face, or Are You Just Angry to See Me?"
  • In Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis when a completely dark room is entered, the "Look" command is replaced with "Touch". Indy can "touch" Sophia to which she'll respond with "Is that a ship rib in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". (Indiana does have a ship rib in his inventory)
  • Both Civilization 3 and 4 give us this line from Catherine the Great, parodying the usual depictions of her as a sex-hungry slut:
    "Is that a treaty in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
  • Walking up to female villagers you saved in Overlord may cause them to say: "Is that a pumpkin in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
  • Used in one of the Gex games: "Is that a lightsaber, or are you just happy to see me?"
  • Final Fantasy XII has a sidequest NPC use this line:
    "Pardon me, Bhadra. Is that a bottle of Bhujerban Madhu in your pocket, or are you... it is?"
  • The description for the Pocket Pal Portable Terminal in Space Quest IV: Roger Wilco and the Time Rippers says "Say. Is that a complete workstation in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?".
  • Played with in Uncharted 2: Among Thieves with the following exchange, said while he's carrying her with her legs wrapped around him:
    Chloe: Is that an ancient Tibetan ritual dagger in your pocket?
    Drake: Maybe I'm just happy to see you.
  • In the Ultimate Spider-Man (2005) video game, upon seeing R.H.I.N.O., Spidey will attempt this.
    Spider-Man: Hey, is that a horn on your head or are you just… happy… to see… I'm so scared I can't even finish my lame joke.
  • Used in the 2009 game Bionic Commando along with another trope at the beginning of a boss fight.
    Spencer: Whoa, is that a long health bar, or are you just happy to see me?
  • Reading a shirt in NetHack may yield the following message:
    "Is that Mjollnir in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
  • One of the female Blood Elf /flirt emotes from World of Warcraft
    "Is that a mana wyrm in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
  • Used in Team Fortress 2, in the description for the "Itsy Bitsy Spyer".
    "Is that a miniature Spy in your pocket, or are you just happy to OH GOD STOP HITTING ME!"
  • A variant of this appears in Blade Runner, courtesy of Bullet Bob:
    Bullet Bob: Is that a .45 blaster under your coat, or are you just happy to be here?
  • Styx: Shards of Darkness: One of the belittling lines that Styx uses when you die goes like this:
"Dead again? Is that your controller in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?"
  • In True Crime: Streets of LA during a scene at a strip club:
    Stripper: Is that a gun in your pants?
    '''Nick: No, I'm just happy to see you!"
  • In Baldur's Gate, one of the lines that can come up when speaking with a courtesan:
    Courtesan: I don't much care if you're happy to see me, as long as that's a pouch of coins.
  • When talking to Willy in the streets of Thimbleweed Park, either of the FBI agents will ask him what that thing is in his pocket (wallet) upon which Willy replies that he may just be happy to see them.
  • In the manual for Whacked!, Ms. Fanservice Lucy is introduced with "Is that a controller in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
  • A Running Gag throughout the The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky and The Legend of Heroes: Trails from Zero and Trails to Azure is that in the English translations if you examine a chest you've already opened, you'll receive a message, often humorous in nature. One of these in Zero, for a chest that contained 200 of every type of sepith, reads "Is that All element sepith x200 in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

    Webcomics 

     Web Original 
  • In the hird episode of The Brian & Jill Show, Brian uses the trope word-for-word in a game of "No Apparent Reason" as a clue to try and get the players to guess 'Banana.' Answers given included "whale sperm", "a pickle", "a roll of quarters", and "gum" before someone finally guessed it.
  • In an IGN review of WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2010 for PlayStation Portable, the subtitle under the review header says, "Is that John Cena in your pocket or are you just happy to see us?"
  • In the Game Revolution review of Armored Core 2: Another Age, the subtitle under the review header says, "Is that an EWM-NAP-02 Napalm Missile in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
  • One of The Nostalgia Critic's "Top 15 David Bowie Dick Jokes" in his review of Labyrinth:
    Is that Gonzo's nose in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
  • The Agony Booth: Hilariously inverted in their review of Mitchell, there's a scene at one point where he's going to meet a girl and his hiding a gun, which falls out of his pants and onto the ground. The caption for the screencap says "Okay, so I guess you’re not happy to see me."

    Western Animation 
  • Futurama: Amy to Kif: "Is that your camouflage reflex or are you just happy to see me?"
  • Played with (and then immediately lampshaded) in Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil (while Lucy is stealing supplies from a dildo factory).
    Security Guard: Is that a dildo in your pocket?
    Lucy: No! I'm just happy to see you!
    Security Guard: I've heard that one. Every shoplifter uses that joke.
  • Played with once in Family Guy: Cleveland once begins with "Is that a banana in your pocket," but ends it with "or an erection in your pocket?", essentially explaining the joke before it's finished.
  • In The Simpsons, Lovejoy's wife hugs her husband and asks "Is that a train in your pocket or are you happy to see me?" He replies, "Both".
  • From The Venture Bros.:
    Shore Leave: This isn't my gun; it's an indication of how excited I am to be doing this. This is my gun.


 
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Sheeni asks Nick to apply sunscreen on her, and he ends up getting aroused. When she notices it, she teases him relentlessly for it.

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