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Funny: Axis Powers Hetalia
Let's just take something straight outta the way and say that Hetalia is one of the most hilarious products to ever come out from Japan.


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     Manga 
  • Russia managing to scare the hell out of England by sitting in a silly hat and smiling pleasantly.
  • Japan lends America a bunch of Japanese horror video games. The next morning, Japan goes to check on him, certain he's been completely terrified, when he sees America as a shibito. (Of course, just to scare Japan.)
  • The fact that America fears Dora the Explorer makes This Troper laugh very hard.
  • China complains about his fellow nations to what seems to be a panda toy and ends with, "But the worst is Russia! He's planning to stab me in the back, no doubt about it!" Then said panda takes off its mask, revealing itself to be Russia in a costume, who exclaims, "How did you find out?"
  • Russia making the famous 'Sit and you Die' chair explode by sitting on it and being more evil than it.
  • Hungary being revealed as one infamous Covert Pervert. "Mine is a pure love", my foot!
    • "Please leave, you second rate perverts" LOL. Japan cracks me up.
  • Russia's greatest fear revealed..
  • "Hey Austria, what kind of relationship do you call it when you see them every day and they hug and kiss you, and go to bath with you, and sleep in the same bed as you (while they're naked)...?" That said, the Buon San Valentino strip is mostly like that, combining this with Heartwarming Moment.
    • Germany "proposing" to Italy. While a shocked waiter looks on. And Italy looking like completely like a fish out of water. It had to be Hungary Lampshading the fact that it would be so damn hilarious that really turned the funny up to 11. That is all.
  • Japan imagining ''Italy'' pulling off a Slasher Smile. "I'll touch the back of your head to my heart's content", indeed.
  • Japan: "It's a dream! A dream! A dream!"
  • A child Prussia thinks he's found an equally young Hungary's weakest spot. And what he DOES discover is... well, VERY unexpected.
  • The Brick Joke in "Black Ships" about America making friends with whales and England's subsequent emotional kick in the groin when America rejects his offer of friendship.
  • France, after getting a picture of Switzerland sleeping, gets caught. His Reaction.
    • Not to mention France trying to undress Russia. Of course, he wisely stops.
  • Himaruya's emergency punchlines.
    "It's the Greek army! The Greek army has come!!!
  • Q: A Spaniard compliments your hideous clothing. The correct answer is...?
    1. "Not really."
    2. "I was just thinking about throwing this out."
    3. "Your clothes are cooler."
    • A. Distract with your sweet yo-yo skills.
  • All of the mochi comics are as hilarious as the are bizarre. "I just thought, 'it's a lettuce.' I was wrong. It's my daddy." The aliens sum it up pretty well: "Oh god... wtf"
    "Gracias! Me gusta mucho el tomate."
  • Belarus' lovely When She Smiles moment...before she mercilessly attacks Finland.
  • The 2010 Bloodbath. That is all.
  • The strip that describes how the Nordics band together to create a product. Finland designs, Sweden builds, Denmark sells, Norway criticizes. Iceland? He sits around with munchies. "What? Were you expecting me to do something?"
  • England appears with a T-Shirt that contains the infamous Harry Potter Spoiler. In horror Japan ask for him to take it off, which England promptly does... just to reveal that the very same thing is written in his chest.
  • When England reluctantly appears at America's birthday party. The two share a somewhat dramatic, somewhat angsty discussion of how the day makes England sick. England hands over a gift bag and leaves. America opens it, commenting that it's probably an "old man" present. A boxing glove on a spring pops out and punches him smack in the face.
    • This troper never had so much respect for England before that strip.
  • April Fools 2011. France in nothing but cat ears? Normal. America running around practically naked and Iggy-iggy in a nurse dress? Fanservice. China dressed as a girl? Dude Looks Like a Lady. Russia in a MINI DRESS, and what look like mouse ears? CMOF.
  • The Asians strip from the fourth manga volume, specially when China finds out what Taiwan, Macau and Hong Kong were doing behind his back.
    China: I'M LECTURING ALL OF YOU!
  • Also from the fourth manga volume: Hungary, Ukraine and Liechtenstein discuss national dresses. The last one is the famous Crete dress code that had the women exposing their breasts. Poor, poor Liechtenstein.
    • Even funnier if you notice the reference to FEMEN of Ukraine.
  • France (to Italy who has asked what intercourse means) "You don't know? It's something you do with someone you like. DO YOU LIKE ME, ITALY?" *cue creepy ass grin*
  • America attempting to treat England's cold with a hamburger to the face.
  • Italy ends up in a crate again after America and England get tired keeping him prisoner and send him back to Germany. With a card that says "FUCK" on it.
  • From Hetaween 2011, Romano giving a whole new meaning to the trope Badass Grandma.
  • There's a strip where Lithuania falls asleep on Russia's couch and wakes up to Russia who for once is in a mostly-sane mood and it shows that Russia is capable of kindness toward Lithuania. They talk about dreams, and Lithuania falls asleep again, only to wake up resting on the shoulder of a panda instead of Russia.
  • Japan's reaction in this strip to Italy trying to get him to smile. "What are you trying to make me do?!!"
  • Molassia from the Micronations mini-event. Normal and calm one minute, badass and cursing the next.
  • All of the April Fool's events. Spain's news reporting, Prussia's blog, Fool's Bath 2011...
  • The book strip where England recalls how cute America was as a kid. Specifically, a memory in which England brings him a math textbook and young America tells him with a smile, "Dwop dead, Engwand!"
    • This is followed by a memory of England telling a young America that he's raising paint and newspaper taxes, while America cheerfully replies "Drop dead, England!" The strip then cuts back to present time, where America is poking England's face and saying "Drop dead, England!"
      • Made even funnier in the American travel book, where "Drop dead, England!" is instead translated to "Fuck you, UK!"
  • The "Red Devil" strip, when Germany has noticed that N. Italy has thrown the pin instead of the grenade.
  • "I found Prague!"
  • America's reaction when Japan tells him why the "gay gun" won't work.

     Hetalia Axis Powers 
  • Episode 1: England's "Take this! BRITANNIA FORK!" has to be funniest line in this episode. Also, America stating that no one is allowed to disagree with his plan to stop global warming.
  • Episode 2: Germany hitting Italy with the butt of his rifle and saying "I won't be tricked! Go to hell, you damn pasta-loving bastard!" Also, him opening the door for Italy seeing if he wants to escape and Italy just flirts with girls and comes back.
    • "I'm a tomato box fairy! I'm here to be your friend!"
  • Episode 3: Italy's song for Germany in and not to mention how Germany sends Italy back in a package after hearing the song. Or how Germany is making clocks to pay back France and keeps saying how happy he is that he was able to get rid of "that guy" (Italy) and Italy floating past him in a weird manner.
  • Episode 4: Italy checking on his friend Japan when they're in a hot spring. After praising Japan's ability to turn everything into miniature models, he looks down and says "Oh, that too?" while in the hot spring. Japan is embarrassed at such remarks and beats the crap out of him.
  • Episode 5: Italy making preparations for being Germany's ally but he only brings pasta, pasta sauce and wine. The next time he makes preparations he brings the same things and Germany yells "It's the same!", and Italy responds with "No, this time it's better! This time I added pizza!" And then he asks Italy if he has anything else they can use and Italy says "I only have Machiavelli." Germany says "I'm sorry but we can't use him."
    • Italy making "preparations for war" by making white flags for him and Germany to wave meaning they surrender.
    • Italy trying to become Germany's ally, Germany throwing Italy out, and Italy getting thrown back. Also, his completely happy response "Germany, I was thrown back!"
  • Episode 6: Austria saying "I will now express my anger and disgust with you through the piano." there's then a long sequence of Austrian Piano Playing.
    Austria: (After finishing his piece): Do you understand now?
    Germany: So your anger is Chopin?
    • It feels like we're calling out the devil!
    • Germany, Italy and Japan are roasting marshmallows on the beach. In the background, soft piano music is playing. Germany talks about how he never wants to go home anymore now that Austria lives with him, and wonders how Austria is doing right now. Italy points out that Austria "has been right over there the whole time, you know." Pan to Austria... who is playing the piano music. "How did I not notice him!?!?!"
  • Episode 7: Romano's mustache. 'Nuff said.
  • Episode 8: Italy tells Germany over the phone "There was a pretty girl so I hit on her. But then, it was France in disguise!"
  • Episode 12: France trying to convince England to marry him.
    France: (to England about the marriage certificate) "No, it's not a marriage certificate, IT'S A CALENDER!"
  • Episode 13: Germany telling Italy that, to keep your allies, you must sometimes be gentle, and sometimes be strict. This is reenacted with Italy doing both attitudes to a cat he's holding.
    Germany: Sometimes, with discipline!
    Italy: Decipline! Got it! Naughty Puki, naughty Puki, naughty Puki, Puki Sweetie~ *Cat licks him* AAH! That really hurts! Help me, Germany, he's attacking me! Make it stop! Boy, it hurts so bad!
    Germany: WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, ITALY!?
    • England accidentally summoning Russia when trying to curse Germany.
  • Episode 14: "Oh no! Now the Spanish and Greek have started to chat to each other!"
  • Episode 16: On the unintentional side of things, the "English" preview for America Cleans Out His Closet. Once this troper realized it wasn't in Japanese (hence the sudden lack of subtitles), she nearly popped a blood vessel in her eye. The line that took the cake, however, was undoubtedly. "I CAN HANDER IT."
  • Episode 19: From Italy's training regimen to Canada's introduction to Italy failing at spying at the Allies' table (while Canada is in the background acting nonchalant and silly).
  • Episode 21: Sealand talking with Lithuania on how to be acknowledged as a nation, random cut to Russia eavesdropping with one of the creepiest "=D" faces ever.
    • Poor Sealand probably could've picked somebody less terrifying to learn about being a nation from.
    Lithuania: A big country like Russia could come in and make you forget EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU ARE.
  • Episode 23: The Italy brothers getting in a fight, with N. Italy calling Germany for help, and Germany thinking that he's hearing something inappropriate on the other end of the line...
    Germany: (Sounding frustrated and disappointed) So it was just hair?
    • Italy's line just before that and Romano's reaction to it too.
    Italy: What's wrong? Germany and Japan never complained about sleeping with me?
  • Episode 26: England's drunken flailing and crying right in front of America. The next day, he's so ashamed, he wants to die and promises to give up drinking. That, and he has a huge hangover.
  • Episode 29: Russia jumping out of a plane without a parachute while screaming "VODKAAA!!!!" and saying that he'll be okay because there's snow on the ground and snow is soft. He ends up getting hurt.
    • America: "ICE CREEEEEEEEEEAM~" *trips on banana peel* *splat*
      • Made more funny by the fact that he somehow breaks his foot by falling on his face.
  • Episode 32: Italy woke up to Germany sleeping and was so ecstatic about waking up before him for once, he immediately calls Japan and there's this exchange.
    Italy: Listen to this! I woke up earlier than Germany for once!
    Japan: Are you serious?! We must celebrate this occasion with a dish of red bean rice!
  • Episode 37: Italy is worried that Germany might forget him and France tells him not to worry he just needs to drop his pants and show him his ass.
    • Even better? Italy actually goes and does it... Off screen, of course.
    • Russia's first use of kolkolkolkolkol.
  • Episode 43: The following when Belarus states her reasoning for why she returned:
    Belarus: Although I left with Big Sis it seems just natural for me to be with you after all.
    Russia: Bela-
    Belarus: *interrupting* I'll stay with you, Big Brother. I'll stay by your side forever.
    Russia: What? Thanks. Will you really stay by my side?
    Belarus: *sparkling with hands clasped and smiling* I'd be even better if you married me and let me be even closer to you.
    Russia: *disgusted*
    • Russia writes to France's radio show for advice on love. France, being helpful, offers him a pick up line: "Say 'I want to get to your bed. How should I do it?' and that's it!"
      • And in the dub:
    France: "Finding your next friend could be as easy as saying "Hey! Do you want to bare my children?""
  • Episode 48: When Hungary and Austria realize that Chibitalia is entering puberty.

     Hetalia World Series 
  • World Series episode 11: Japan goes on vacation with Italy to learn more about Italian culture. The results must be seen to be believed. See it here.
  • World Series episode 14: "FUCK-ING LI-MEY."
  • World Series episode 16: France sent out PIERRE!
  • World Series episode 17: "Running Away With Su-san" was amusing enough, but then it got animated. From the sparkly, dating sim-esque title, to Finland's amazing scream at Sweden's face (with Scare Chord!), to the climax, in which Sweden drapes his arm over Finland as the first movement of Beethoven's 5th Symphony plays.
    "Warm now?"
    "Terrfied now."
  • World Series episode 30: The G8 meeting. England glares at Russia. Russia simply grabs Englands glare-arrows and eats them like popcorn.
    • Belarus' allergic reaction to Kumajiro, who interrupts Canada to ask for a snack.
  • World Series episode 32: England sleeping during the meeting.
  • World Series episode 34: In the World series, where England is trying to escape from Italy. He seems quite confident, since he just got some unintentional advice from Germany, and then he orders something from a cafe. The moment he orders ale, Germany jumps at him and wraps the guy's head with the newspaper he was hidden behind.
  • World Series episode 35: Germany wrestling with a naked Italy. "DIE!"
  • World Series episode 36: Japan's horrendously Yodel Land-esque Imagine Spot of Switzerland was funny enough in the manga, but the animated version must be seen to be believed.
    • TRA-LA-LA-LA-LA~
  • World Series episode 39: After Italy modifies a car it shoots him into the sky and he screams "Ve!" the whole way. And then there's how Germany thinks Italy is gone forever when he just gets stuck in a tree.
  • World Series episode 42: Spain and France are about to engage in an epic battle over Romano. Just before France and Spain start fighting, Spain's pet bull headbutts France, which makes Spain the winner of the battle.
  • World Series episode 43: This gem from Poland during his and Lithuania's first meeting:
    Poland: "Like, show me your penis and junk."
  • World Series episode 45: America is a candy fountain.
  • World Series episode 49: The "Brother Dear" strip was already funny, but the anime dials it Up to Eleven.
  • World Series episode 51: The polar bear gnawing on Russia's head.

     Hetalia The Beautiful World 
  • The Beautiful World episode 3: specifically, Prussia playing broom-guitar and dancing and singing/cheering in the background while Austria talks to Germany. It's a brief scene, but it must be seen to be believed.

     Hetalia Axis Powers Dub 
  • Episode 1: From the English dub of the Meeting scene, we have gems like Switzerland saying, "MAN UP OR I'LL BEAT YOU WITH MY PEACE PRIZE!", and Germany explaining how to ask a question...
    "Now, if you vant to go, make sure you're prepared und raise your hand, but do so in a vay that does not mock any salutes of my country's past."
    • Made even funnier when you realize that the Nobel Peace Prize is hosted by Norway.
    • Let's not forget this little gem:
    China: Would you like to sample some Chinese tasty treats? :D
    France and Britain: *not ending their fight* WE'D JUST GET HUNGRY AGAIN!!
    • "PASTAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • Episode 6:
    England: Bring on the fire. Bring on the hell. Set everything ablaze so that no trace remains. Bring on the fire-
    America: I feel like we're summoning the Devil!
  • Episode 7: America states about Germany "I bet he's deeply in love with Italy. He's probably chasing after good artwork or Italy's butt. What's so great about his butt? Really, I'm at a loss."
    • This gem:
    Romano: Hey there Hasselhoff, I've got a little surprise for you!
    Germany: Great. Vhat iz it? Another Jew?
    • Also, Romano calling Germany "Herr Hasselhoff"
    • "THIS WEATHERMAN IS PREDICTING A 99% CHANCE OF SHITSTORM, AND IT'S COMING RIGHT AT YA!"
      • And right after that: "WAAAAH! IT'S FRAAANCE!!!" "Oh no, Germany!!!".
    • One word: MOUSTACHE.
  • Episode 8: After the UK uses Italy to capture Germany he interrogates Italy and Germany separately, and Italy exposed that Germany is pretty much a Covert Pervert.
    Germany: Before I tell you, I've have somezing I vant to say. It goes a little somezing like zis: Lick mein balls!
    Italy: Aaah! Why are you pointing a gun at me!? I've already told you I'll tell you everything I know, which is pretty much everything I know! Please don't shoot me, PLEASE!"
    Germany: Do your vorst! Compared to my everyday life, your kind of torture vould be like bites from a mosquito!
    Italy: Yeah, he's kind of a sadist; actually he's an intense super kind of sadist with a lot of hardcore books and DVDs! You can't guess what I've seen living with him! There was one video I saw that had dogs in it! He really likes tying people up too, and I'm sure you know what that means! Up until recently his government endorsed bestiality with all of its soldiers!
    Germany: *pant* *pant* *pant* *pant* *pant*
    Germany (Later to Italy): I hate you und your ass face.
  • Episode 9:
    America: I think it makes use of our strengths in the best way possible! Britain goes in suicidal — it's your Charge of the Light Brigade routine! France gives up without a struggle! And for Russia, just keep sending us your cannon fodder! You'll draw the guns away... from me!
    • And England's reaction to this strategy and the ensuing "discussion"...
    England: No thanks. I'll won't be a part of one of your half-wit schemes.
    America: Why do you hate me? Are you still pissed of about that whole "Revolutionary War" thing?
    England: Since you're illiterate and not our leader mostly my mind wonders while you're speaking. Like recalling how we burnt your capital to the ground in 1814.
    America: Uh-
    England: Sometimes I picture you as the diabetic fat person you'll likely be in a few more years on your strictly hamburger diet.
    America: Uh- Since we're all sharing our feelings... Those pastries you served me when I visited your house the other day? They tasted like petrified couch stuffing.
    England: BASTARD! Those scones were a recipe passed down by my mumsy!
    America: *Being choked* Those things were supposed to be scones!?
    France: When you two are done releasing sexual tensions, we have got a meeting we need to finish!
  • Episode 11:
    Britain: *Sigh* No surprise, the meeting ended once again without any resolution. Blast all! I really do wish there was someone around here who I didn't always fight with.
    Flying Mint Bunny: Hi there!
    Britain: Flying Mint Bunny! Did you come here to try and cheer me up!? Huh?
    Flying Mint Bunny: I wanted to see you, Britain, so I flew right over!
    Britain: This is great! All my magical friends at the same time! But let's have no murders this go around, okay? I'm serious, guys!
    America: Hey, Britain! Can I talk to you for a second?
    Britain: Hey! No fair chewing on my sleeve, Uni! I'm too ticklish, so stop the snuggling. You're naughty, Captain Hook, Tinkerbell's not big enough! Take that big, goofy kiss face to your little leprechaun friend, since he's the only one who cares! Kidding~ Seriously, you're all nutbugers! What am I to do with you! AHAHAHAHA!
  • Episode 12: Germany training Japan and Italy, while Britain is spying on them.
    Germany: Britain vants you to acknowledge his bastard child as your own. Vhat do you do?
    Britain: Hahaha. Stupid Germany. I'm SAS. When it comes to spying, no one is better than Britain! Cheers~ Ha! That was all too easy. Now I shall observe their top secret training.
    Germany: Vhat do you do? Britain is slowly closing in on you, but he's dressed up for Carnival und swishing his hips!
  • Episode 13:
    Britain: Why must you insist upon interrupting me all the time!? Do you have some kind of grudge against me!?
    Russia: No! Uhhhhhh... Wait a second. Yes I do.
    Britain: My grudge is more important than your grudge! I won't let you revengious interruptious! Now! The British curse of food and bad tea! *Japan is grilling something in the background but nothing happens*
    Russia: Ha~ *Stares at Japan* Aaaaaa~
    Britain: No! Stop! I'm cursing!
    Russia: Aaa~
    Japan: *Clutches stomach* Ugh, my berry.
    Russia: Ha~ Alright. Ready to begin.
    Britain: Ahaha. That's some really spooky stuff there, chap!
  • Episode 15:
    Japan: I can't berieve this! Put some crothes on at once! Bare skin in pubric dishonors the ghost of your ancestor!
    Italy: Aww~ But I'm hot and I'm Italian and all the chicks dig it! Why don't you get naked?
    Japan: I couldn't possibry show a strange man my groin croth! I'm begging you to put some crothes on! I could see to your deviant need to sreep in bed compretery nude aready! I give up. Mr. Germany! You have to say something to him, prease!
    Germany: Hm? Hey Japan. Can I vash your back?
    Japan: No. It's crean. *Thinking* Nakedness in Western Curture wirr arso take some getting used to.
  • Episode 19: Well... see for yourself.
  • Episode 21: "Is that your girlfriend, or boyfriend, or gender-neutral chibi thing?"
  • Episode 26:
    England: (while drunk off of his ass)
    England: Ugh... Am I Catholic... or Protestant...? God, I don't know!
    Waiter: 'Scuse me, is he okay?
    America: He always gets like this when he starts drinking.
    England: You don't know me! I'm United bloody Kingdom and I can held my locker better then you any day!
    America: Dude, calm down!
    England: Shut up! I felt bad about how the way old frog face was treating you so I saved your ass. Thought maybe we could be friends and bond over our mutual hatred for France but uh-un. YOU DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME YOU JUST WANTED TO TELL ME NOT TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYWAYS I THINK THAT'S TOTAL BOLLOCKS!
    England: (Later) *Shivering* Why won't the light just shut up? I swear I'm never going to drink again... Someone please kill me...
    America: Dude can party!
    France: Quel connardnote 
  • Episode 27: Germany chasing off England, France, and Bulgaria for hitting Italy with a stick.
    Germany: Hey, hold on a sec, Bulgaria! Aren't you part of the Axis?
    Bulgaria: Yeah, but take a look at him and tell me you haven't wanted to do the same thing.
    • About Italy's "combat prowess":
    Germany: [N. Italy] lost to a Middle Eastern nation fighting vith arrows und they didn't even blow themselves up!
  • Episode 29: This line from Latvia:
    Latvia: I'm glad everyone treated you well. We were all placing bets on whether they'd call you a drunkard or bring up Lake Placid and the Miracle on Ice!
    Lithuania and Estonia: THAT HASN'T HAPPENED YET!!!
  • Episode 31:
    • Fat Christmas, I mean America.
    America: "Dude, Christmas rocks! We know how to do it right here! First, we x-out the "Christ part to make it extreme! Then, we shop and eat stuff until we're sick! Want to shovel down some X-mas cake to get in the spirit?!
    • Christmas in Godless Russia.

    Russia: "December 25th is just like any other day at my house, da? Our big winter celebration is called Epiphany. On January 7th when the wise men visited the baby Jesus. But instead of that story we teach kids a version of pagan beliefs using a guy called Dyed Moroz, or Father Frost, who preforms witch-craft if you make dolls of him.
    Italy: "Wow, that's amazing!
    Russia: "Tradition says that those dolls will start moving after 25 days.
    Germany: "Vhat the hell!? Christmas is freaking crazy in Russia!
    Italy: "Please hold me...
    • Even Godless-er China.
    China: Christmas trees are illegal in my country. It kinda sucks.
    Italy: Heh, just like girls...
    China: It's because they catch fire too easily. The trees, not the girls.
    • Switzerland
    Switzerland: "Christmas is about family and loving people!"
    "...Now get bent." *slams door*
    • Finnish Christmas. Where's that?
    • Gay Christmas. I mean French.
      France: So, you want to celebrate Christmas with me?
      Germany: Hell no!
    • Also, Germany referring to him as "Herr Francey pants".
      • Japan: You get Santa Claus drunk before he fries his sreigh to deriver presents to chirdren?
        Italy: Hey, Big Brother France, if you ever see Drunk Santa, can you get some pictures for the rest of us?
        France: Yes, exactly like my Papa used to!
  • Episode 35: About the Olympics:
    Narrator: Narrator poll! Who here thinks France is going to get naked?
  • Episode 37: This gem of an exchange after Italy has a nightmare about his friends hating him:
    Italy: HOW DO I GET MY FRIENDS TO NOT ABANDON ME!?
    France: Well... Sometimes showing your butt will do the trick.
    Later
    Italy: Hey Japan! Wanna see my butt? :D
    Japan: Not if you paid me one mirrion dorrar.
    • Earlier, France claims that he was having a dream about chocolate and Jerry Lewis.
    • After Italy has his nightmare about his friends hating him, Italy jumps onto Germany while he's in bed and goes on a rant asking him to never leave him. Germany yells at Italy to get off him and says, "Mein Deutsch balls!"
  • Episode 38: When Italy writes Germany a very heartfelt letter about how he fears that Germany will forget about him because of a dream he had, Germany is visibly upset and tells Japan (who found the letter but couldn't make out the handwriting) that it was written by Italy and that something is troubling him. Japan looks shocked and gasps "Italy is literate?!?"
    • Italy to Germany: "Oh, how cool! I didn't know you were 'telepathetic'!"
    • "Germany, where did the pinky swear come from?" "Japan. Never ask him to elephant swear."
  • Episode 48:
    Italy: Hey, Germany! What are you doing? Can we go play football? Can we?
    Germany: Nein, I'm reading.
    Italy: But it's so pretty outside! Let's play football! Hey~ Germany, play football, Germany~ Hey~ Football, Germany~ Germany, Football~
    Germany: ARE YOU VANTING ME TO GAS YOU!?
    • After England's apparently died:
    America: Dude, Britain is totally dead!! Let's go get a drink to celebrate! *Britain sits up* See? I told you he would wake up if we did that!
  • The accents. That is all.
  • Chibi-England calling France a cheese eating surrender monkey.
  • America's epic freak out after watching a horror movie with Japan:
    • What really seals it is Japan's totally deadpan reaction to said freak out, even as America is clinging to him and practically screaming in his ear.
    • Also, this: "And so another victory of cross-culture with America in the driver's seat. USA!"
  • "....they had all become assholes. ^_^"
  • "China, I choose you!"
  • France: "Sex is a valid workout!"
  • Everything the narrator says.
    "Ooh, pretty music!"
    "Polish horses never charged German tanks at the battle-... Right. Anime fans, Germany invaded Poland in '39. Right. American fans, Poland is a country! In Europe! :D"
  • "I'm Canadia! T__T"
  • "Ve don't have to kiss, do ve?" "Nope! ...Unless you want to."
  • Germany meets The Roman Empire
    "First Carthage fell and others died, good times. Ah, memories. I just ate, had sex, fought, had sex and slept every day"
  • Cafe Germany
    Germany: VELCOME TO ZE CAFE DU PAY! YOU'RE LATE UND VILL BE TREATED VIZ CONTEMPT!
    Guy: ...what? I-I'm so sorry.
    Narrator: Germans should really stick with engineering.
    Guy: Wow, you're mean...
    Germany: Dis menu includes canned lamb, dry crackers, Bulvarian [Bavarian] beer, cheese soup, und Jello. No repeating! You vill remember vat I said!
    Guy: Yes, sir.
    Narrator: Why read it when you can taste it on his breath?
    Germany: You've only got 15 minutes to eat. If you can't finish eating vith in ze time limit, I vill kill you.
    Guy: That's fair.
    Narrator: Reminds one of grammar school.
    Guy: Thanks for the food. (Stands up to leave)
    Germany: *Puts his hand on guy's shoulder* Our time togezzer has been very special. Make sure to lock your doors at night.
    Guy: N-No problem
  • Cafe Spain
    • The guy he's serving just got dumped by his girlfriend and, since Spain can't sense the mood, he acts cheerful through the whole thing, even though the guy looks like he's about to cry.
    Spain: Oh, wow! Are you really a customer, mister? Yes! You are one! Sorry, it's been a long time! I'm so glad! *Pants back* let me touch your back!
    Guy: ...
    Spain: You know, because of the bad economy nothing's really been happening,
    Guy: Ngt...
    Spain: ...but things are looking up now!
    Guy: Ngt...
    Spain: Oh yeah! I made this shirt after our king told Venezualan to shut up! Isn't that just awesome!? I'm telling you man! It's like the real people! *Guy puts on the shirt* Wow! It looks so good on you!
    Guy: Unn...
    Spain: I want to send on of these shirts to Venezualan, too. You look so cool that I definitely want to go on a date with you, I mean, if I were a girl!
    Guy: Ngt..
    Spain: Now, coffee! I'll go get you some for you! Just sit tight, okay?
    Guy: *Sniffle*
    Spain: Oh! Well, this is embarrassing! Since I haven't had many customers, I've only got instant coffee!
    Guy: Life...is meaningless...
  • "My boss and Italy's boss, both fabulous dancers and narcissists..."
    • Romano's reaction to Russia touching Italy: "Touch of death!"
  • "Before we go on to the history lesson, instead of saying one joke, I'll tell you two punchlines!"
  • "I want a brother, or at least a pet sugar glider!" Courtesy of none other than Latvia.
  • Germany, upon finding Italy in his bed: "How in ze holy fuhrer did he get into my bed?!?"
    • That entire scene is hilarious, from Germany refusing to believe that the "weirdo" in his bedroom is Rome ("It's zat kind of attitude, my only option is to shoot you in ze head!") to Germany trying to convince himself that the entire encounter is All Just a Dream, to Rome asking why Germany isn't sleeping with many beautiful women and getting a response of "I VILL PUNCH YOU IN ZE THROAT!"
    • Though he does only say that when Rome questions his heterosexuality. Not that that's an unfair assumption, considering where Italy was.
    Rome: So tell me. what kind of a man doesn't have a women in bed with him every night? When I was your age, I had a plethora of a lovely ladies around me. Oh? Are you not into girls?
    Germany: I VILL PUNCH YOU IN ZE SROAT!
    Rome: Oh, come one now. Don't be so sensitive! No one here's a judging! There's nothing wrong with playing for another team. And everone likes to experiment a little, except me, of course.
    Germany: You sound just like France...
    Rome: Well, there's always a little bit of the self-love, is there not?
    Germany: NO VAY!
    Rome: OH!? You masturbate! Everyone a takes care of the business not and again! Masturbation is a natural!
    Germany: THAT"S DISGUSTING!
    Rome: You must be a saint~
  • Italy oversleeps again, so Germany calmly sits down next to the bed and says the following:
    Germany: "I once killed a man in his sleep vith only his mustache und a grape"
  • Italy: (to Germany) "You can order me around and I'll disappoint you!"
  • When Germany, Japan, and Italy are stranded on an island, Japan mentions that they should have a team name.
    Japan: What do you think about "Axis"?
    Germany: "Axis"?
    Japan: It mean we are arr connected together by an axis, and when we prevair, the worrd wirr turn on that new axis.
    Germany: Abstract. I vas thinking "Fire Death Team."
    Japan: No. It better to confuse with obtuse metaphor.
  • "MAKE PASTA, NOT WAR" — No truer words have ever been spoken.
  • When Finland tries to tell about how there's a mysterious child wandering around the colonies in the New World, and France is more interested in the fact that he caught a fish with only his hands. France then goes on to suggest that the child is a new nation, but not before lamenting how the fish got away and fell back in the river.
    France: Oh crap, my fish!
    • From that same episode, a little before:
      Finland: [crying] Seriously, you guys, this isn't funny anymore. It's so mean and cruel and stupid!
      France: *sigh* Tell us what happened, Finland.
      England: Did you get your head stuck in the butter churn again?

     Hetalia World Series Dub 
  • World Series episode 1: As Prussia finishes reading his diary:
    Prussia: Man, I vas super cute vhen I vas little! Aw heck, I still am!
    Children: No, you weren't~
  • World Series episode 6: This exchange. Please do note that all the characters are in chibi-form:
    Narrator: Suddenly, China turned around and saw Russia settling in, like the slow and steady terror that he is. It must have been really scary. *In a bad Chinese accent* Hang in there, China!
    Japan (while waving stick wildly): Reave my freind arone!
    Russia: (extremely cutely) Aaah!
    • Also, when France and England are sword fighting...
    China: I hope they both die.
  • World Series episode 7: France explaining sexual acts to Italy.
    France: It's something you do with someone you love... or, you could just pretend to love them.
  • World Series episode 10: "It's bad enough I have jerk Britain laughing at me all the time without suffering these little animated insert thingies!"
    • France is sad about his economy and tells Switzerland he's lucky that all he has to do is "hide the corrupt gains of the financial elite".
    Switzerland: You have farmlands, so you don't have to sell your soul to Satan!
    • Germany and Chibi Italy in the original:
    Germany: "Who are you?"
    Chibitalia: "~I'm me!~"
    • Germany and Chibi Italy in the dub:
    Germany: "Who are you?"
    Chibitalia: "~I'm your worst nightmare!~"
  • World Series episode 11: Japan in Italy
    Italy: GERMANY!
    Germany: Hm?
    Italy: Japan said that he wants to stay with me for a few days to do some sightseeing!
    Germany: Oh? I didn't realize you had an interest in being a tourist.
    Italy: He's right! But we better get out of here, 'cause Godzilla's coming! Come on! Run!
    Japan: Godzirra!? Mister Germany, sank you (Bows) Where did you see him? Was he big?
  • World Series episode 12: "Hey, you got chick for queen so I'm gon' force you give me some of you land and mebbe stick you head up you own butt. I'm auwesome!"
    • In the same episode, Prussia's letter to Maria Theresa.
      • Especially when he demands the Silesia region and the letter asks "it's pronounced Silesia, right?". In the letter.
      • And, despite it being an invasion notice, it ends with "From Prussia with Love".
      • ...P.S. I AM AWESOME!!!
  • World Series episode 17: At first, the "Japan gets angry" moment is just like the sub. Then Greece calls Turkey to borrow his camera to capture the event:
    Turkey: Why are you wanting to borrow my camera, feta-breath? It's not like I suddenly started liking your ass!
    Greece: But... Japan just got... mad.
    Turkey: Say what? Okay, if I lend you my camera you have to tag me in the pictures on Facebook! Friend me first!
  • World Series episode 20: Switzerland gives us this little gem as he chases Italy with a rifle:
    Switzerland: I swear, I will kill you! I will kill you UNTIL YOU'RE DEAD!
  • World Series episode 23: Germany has to live with Austria:
    Germany (breaking through Austria's door): Now, ve can do zis ze easy vay or ze hard vay! Your only choice, Austria, is to submit to my manliness!
    Germany, Italy and Hungary: ...?
  • World Series episode 24: All of the height jokes alluding to how much taller than Spain Turkey is.
    Spain: Why don't you pick on someone three quarters your size?
  • World Series episode 30: Cat!Japan after the tuna shortage.
    Cat!Japan: Oh, sank Buddha I was abre to stop that ridicurous ban on dearing canned tuna.
    Japan: Tama! Time a to eat-O!
    Cat!Japan: Oh? Is it ah dinner time arready?
    Japan: Today, I have a bit of a treat for you. Sarty tuna sashimi.
    Cat!Japan: Yes. Tuna is a good for the soar. Tuna tuna, dericious tuna. I don't normarry rike to meow, but at a time rike this, I can't herp myserf. (Outloud) I ruv tuna, meow!
    Japan: Wait, did he talk!?
  • World Series episode 31:
    China: I finally return~
    Boss: Ah. It took you long enough. I was starting to get worried. You have my thanks for such a hard journey. Okay! Let's get to all the stuff you brought back for me.
    China: *Bows* Alright. Gifts from the ends of the Earth! And some are from even farther because we got lost whenever captain was drinking heavily. First gift: It's a leopard!
    Leopard: Leapor~
    Boss: How mysterious!
    China: This one is called an Ostrich! Ostrich~
    Ostrich: O-strich~
    Boss: How queer and strange!
    China: This is supposed to look like a camel.
    Camel: Camelllll~
    Boss: OH! This beast compound my senses! Surely there are none left that top the queerness of camel!
    China: But I have one more! A giraffe! A hideous freak of nature!
    Giraffe: Giraffe...
    Boss: WOOOOOAH!!!
  • World Series episode 32: This exchange after the Italian brothers catch Britain:
    Romano: You're the one who caught him, dumbass, so you're the one who gets to take care of him.
    Italy: What?! There's no way I can do it alone! You have to help me!
    Romano: You are so stupid! Next time you want to catch someone, make sure you actually want to, buttcrotch!
    Italy: What was I supposed to do?! He was trapped in a hole someone dug in front of my house! It's the only way I could ever win a fair fight!
    England: I'll make documentaries for your stupid radios! You hear me? DOCUMENTARIES!
    • Earlier in that spiel:
    England: YOU CAN'T KEEP ME LOCKED IN HERE! I'M AN ENGLISHMAN!
  • World Series episode 33: After Germany catches England escaping the first time, he begins to lecture Italy and Romano about how he has to train them some more. While he tells them this, in a completely serious voice, Italy is sobbing loudly and Romano is screaming while punching him. Germany breaks off mid-sentence to shout at them "AND WILL YOU SHUT UP WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU?"
  • World Series episode 34: "You're a big dream-killing liar face-hole!"
    • "WHY IS MY HEAD COVERED IN NEWSPAPER?"
  • World Series episode 39: Hungry, Prussia, and his crotch cloth.
    Hungry: Hey.
    Prussia: How lame. It's only Hungary the crackpot; looking like crap. HA HA HA!
    Hungry: Shut up! Someone who is afraid of the ghost of a doughnut has no right to judge!
    Prussia: Oh no! You heard! Like really badly too!
    Hungry: Shut up, again, I'm just fine!
    Prussia: Yeah, yeah, I'm awesome but you know that. So don't vorry, blah, blah, blah, I vill help you.
    Hungry: Don't bother! I don't need help from a crap-sicle!
    Prussia: Right, speaking of turds, vhat happened to you anyway? You're looking like total shit!
    Hungry: Yeah, well blame Turkey and his crew. And, seriously, don't help me. Go away. *ripping noise*
    Prussia: Show me to your vound! I'll wrap it!
    Hungry: Of all the parts you could have torn, why did you tear the cloth from that area!?
    Prussia: Come on, I'm going to help! Like it or not!
    Hungry: NO! Get away from me!
    Prussia: You don't mean that! Eheheh, No, you're dying to be vrapped in my crotch cloth, who vouldn't be!? AHAHAHAHA!
    Hungry: No means no! I don't want what's been down there close to me!
    Prussia: Oh~ It's time to vrap the vound!
    Hungry: Get that nasty tainted fabric away from me!
    Prussia: Vhy? It's just an innocent crotch cloth! AHAHAHA- Oh?
    Hungry: Huh?
    Prussia: Aah.... boobies...
  • World Series episode 45: China, about the food America had on him when they shipwrecked: "This is great. We'll die of type II diabetes before we ever starve to death."
    • SPOM, AND SNACKERS?!
    • This is followed up by China described the food as "piglets and sugar bars".
  • World Series episode 51: America can't find a European nation on his (America-only) map. He decides to check Google Maps.
    England: We can't Google stuff in 1942! You asshat!
    America: Watch how it's done, loser! ...Check it! I do what I want, beeyotch!
  • This exchange:
    Poland: They filled me in. So, you're Sweden, huh? Do you have a pair on you or what? You can't just show up and try to take what's rightfully mine! Estonia and Latvia are staay-iiinng!"
    Sweden: How come.
    Poland: What? How come? Well...it's like this....I mean...I...they both belong to me...and I don't like you! So...I will never, like, ever, give them to you, so sit on that!
    Sweden: I see...
    • This is followed by a three-second stare-down from Sweden before Poland cowers behind Lithuania.
  • "You know there's an arrow in my butt, right?"
  • Does anyone love the special commentator tracks J. Michael Tatum (France) and Scott Freeman (England) did together as much as me? These two need to be in a room together more often!
    Tatum: Now it's marriage where you like it or not. *Laughs* This is... wow. That's terrible.
    Tatum: Please uh, ladies and gentlemen, don't ever actually do that to anyone, uh, in loo of marriage.
    Freeman: Unless they refuse, because how else are you going to get what you want unless you, you know, force it upon them?
    Tatum: But you have to be smooth about it! You can't be like "hey!" and just grab them like France did. You have to be all like, you know "hey, does this rag smell funny to you?"
    Freeman: Does this smell like chlorine? Come on baby, let's not turn this rape into a murder!
    • "Okay, whatever! Don't touch the Alps! Leave us our art!"
  • Let's just say that this troper cannot WAIT for the English dub of World Series.
    France: Just look at that face... so handsome.
    *beat*
    France: I WANT TO LICK IT.
    • Agreed, especially with this exchange:
    Random Soldier: Everyone start freaking out! Prussia's here!
    Prussia: SUCK IT LOSERS!
  • The bloopers for Season 3.
    • Especially the little kids at the end! "My name is __ and this is the worst word I know:" The words are: stupid, cupcake, cookies, suck (sucker!), butt, and shit. ("Say wha?" "I coulda said a worse word. Ass.")
    • "You fell. I laugh. Ho ho."
    • "My voice! I'm going through PUBERTY, BABY!"
    • "But even if he is a Michael Tatum, he's still a person!" Immediately afterward, we hear Tatum's reaction edited in.
    • Christopher Bevins (Japan) screaming "FUCK!" while still in character.
    • Japan and America mess up one right after the other, in the same scene. The bloopers are edited together.
    • "He actually did Spain in the ass no less than four times."
    • "... Britain *pause* FUDGE A DUCK." (Courtesy of Hetalia's lovely Narrator)
    • "...by vomiting all over Russia."
    • "America taught me how to print, slash, steal le fuck you!"
    • When France sees Switzerland chasing Italy with a rifle. "Someone got ze farmer's daughter pregnant again..."
    • "Ahahaha! I got a shield mothafucker!"
  • "I had sex, which is the important thing..."
  • (Vic as) Greece is not even trying to be subtle about wanting in Japan's kimono.
    • Japan's reactions whenever Greece does this. In comparison to the manga, where they're practically dating, and the sub, where his feelings are more ambiguous, dub Japan hits the perfect combination of mild disgust and acceptance that Greece is just "that" kind of friend.
    • He Screams Like a Little Girl in response to Japan's 'pulling my thumb out' trick, no doubt the loudest we will ever hear him.
  • Spain after being punched in the balls by Romano.
    Spain: You're missing the jewels comPLETELY!...[Thinking] No. He got 'em with that last one. The pain is going to start flooding in any second now.......there it is. Why the delay, I wonder? And why is Romano so upset with me? He must have found out I wanted to trade him. As soon as I can move again, I'll apologize.
  • When Spain goes to "support" Romano after the latter finds out that there's no pasta or tomatoes to eat, and we see one of the few times where Romano is genuinely happy to see Spain instead of the verbal abuse he usually throws at him. And Spain's support? A cheering up magic spell in which he outsretches his arms and says three times: "Spell! Spell! Spell!" And the usually mouthy Romano? He's stunned into silence.
  • Season three seems to have made Austria a lot more Camp Ambiguously Gay:
    Austria (offering Britain a sandwich): Vould you like to have my (*porn voice*) sausage?
  • Rome to Germania after Germania gets him out of depression: "You're so very smart! I love your brain!"
  • Any time Japan swears in World Series.
    Japan (to Italy): YOU FUCKING GREASE BARR! I'RR RIP YOUR FUCKING GUTS OUT AND SERVE THEM FOR DINNER!
    • And this one
      Japan: FUCK YOU AMERICA!
  • Russia plots something evil whilst Funimation plays inappropriate music.
  • Britain after escaping from the Italian prison the first time: *Sexy face* "I'm so hot, I could kiss myself."
  • "Oh, my. It looks like someone needs a spanking." That line was said by Austria.
  • "WOT DID YOU DO TO PAN-DA!?"
  • The way in which the translator explains baseball to Japan is: "It's some kind of game. You need a stick, a ball, and steroids."
  • From the season 4 bloopers:
    • "Ahhhhh, the tomato vagina!"
    • "I am Japan I am not Flance" sounds all the more funny in an Indian sounding voice.
    • Jamie Marchi taking an incredibly long time to get certain lines down as the Narrator.
    • Likewise, Colleen Clinkenbeard's monologue as cat!Monaco.
      • "God BLESS IT!"
    • Christopher Bevins going off-key during the Japan/Switzerland Imagine Spot (speaking of which...), and failing when he tries to recover.
    • "He united all our warring tribes in 1236 and...there's a walnut. *cut to Lithuania holding a shield against a storm of acorns and walnuts* I GOT A SHIELD MOTHERFUCKAAAAAA~"
    • Germany: Zat vas my mother'z cup YOU FOOL!
    • "A thrashing for free? That's...that sound JOLLY! (hehe) I am currently studying espionage here in Rome with a minor 14th eachhedhidoththatheh! LOOK AT ME, I'M STILL SCOTTISH!!!"
  • "No, I am not Flance."
  • In one episode, all the Germans start to act like the world is ending when Germany won't drink beer (one of them even screams "THE VORLD IS COMING TO AN END!") only for Prussia to show up and try to prove them wrong. Needless to say, Hilarity Ensues.
    Soldier: Germany! You look awful man! Have a beer, that vill help!
    Germany: Hey, you know vhat? That does sound good! I think I vill have one! *Hears Japan eating and stops reaching for beer* No... Thank you, but, give it to my big brother instead.
    Soldier: VHA!? *Runs over to a group of people* Guys! Ve're in trouble!
    Other Soldiers: Huh?
    Soldier: Germany just told me he didn't vant beer!
    Other Soldiers: Ah! *Yelling and Unintelligible words* The vorld is coming to an end!
    Prussia: Calm down, freaks! Him und I share the same awesome blood, vhich is made of beer! No vay Germany turned it down! I'll check on him und show you! Vatch and see losers! *Goes up to Germany* Hey, brohas! Rumor has it your not drinking beer! Vhat's that about? A-HA-HA-HA-HA! Did someone threaten you? How fun.
    Germany: Don't take it personally, but could you please stay away from me vith that?
    Prussia: HUH!? But today's beer is better than it normally is! Come on! You at least have to have a taste!
    Germany: No, please! I can't even look at it! Just go away!
    Prussia: Uh!? Vait! How can you turn down a perfectly good beer! BEER! BEER! Don't try to deny it! Nope! It's beer! Your favorite thing in the whole vorld! O-okay, stop it. Now you're really starting to freak me out! I can't take it! If you don't drink any I'll make a new rule! One that vill have you running through the streets naked! ... I can't believe that didn't vork on you... You hate all things that are nude und fun... *Drinks his beer*
    Germany: Go away... Just leave me alone!
    Prussia: *Spits beer on Germany's face* Germany refusing to drink beer! A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! *Reappears with a bandaid on his head* You know, part of vhy I'm so awesome is because I drink beer. The awesome taste of this stuff almost brings awesome tears to my awesome eyes! ...yep...it's so true...I love it... This one's salty, though.
    • This Troper always cracks up when he hears Prussia shouting "CALM DOWN, FREAKS!" (due to how randomly he called them "freaks").
  • The scene with France crossdressing. That is all.
  • The dub of the "Besame!" scene. Chibi Romano may have been adorable in the original, but he's hilarious in the dub.
    Chibi Romano: Besame, baby! Kiss me, kiss me! Smoochy smoochy! Kissy kissy... Besame me! Kiss my face! Besame! Kiss my face right now! KIIIIISSSSS MMMMEEEEEEEE! KIIIIISSSSY FAAAAACE!
    • Young!England watching France spin around:
    Young!England: Pretty dresses aren't really my thing, but you go girl!
    • The Narrator's response:
    Narrator: In the 11th Century—I know, "snore"—but this involves fashion and crossdressing so it's like history but fun! In the 11th Century, dudes started dressing like girls, in long fluttering tunics that the intellectuals hated because they set the nethers free, if you catch my drift. Due to the Norman Conquest anything cool in France would end up in Britain where it got twisted into something somehow less fashionable but more gay. ^_^
  • The dub DVD Commentary.
    • For an episode of World Series, Todd Haberkorn was announced absent at the last minute so they got Eric Vale to come in to do an "impression" of Todd (though he sounds more like Vic Mignogna) and Jamie Marchi and Christopher Bevins simply riffed on him with amusing questions!
    Eric!Todd: Well, I think of how Vic Mignogna would do it, and then do the complete opposite!
    • World Series 46 involves J. Michael Tatum and the ADR director going into a rapid discussion about cod pieces.
    • In one of the commentaries, Eric Vale admits that Hetalia has made him start eating hamburgers again after years of being a vegatarian.
      • Eric said that he got the voice of America as such
    Eric Vale: I think because of my personality I usually end up playing douchebags, and then everyone calls it 'typecasting'.

     Hetalia The Beautiful World Dub 
  • The bloopers
    '"Germany"': It goes around your dong to keep you hard

     High School AU Gakuen Hetalia 
  • Drunk Germany.
    Germany: I'm perfectly sober! Haven't had a beer in minutes!
  • England trying to get better at cooking and summoning candy instead.
  • This exchange:
    England: Say...that looks like sexual harassment from over here.
    France: Nonsense, this is how the French convey love. You yourself should try to give more love to others Englan-
    Seychelles: JUST DISSOLVE, YOU BASTARD! (punch)

     Hetalia: Paint It White 

  • Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia performing Swan Lake...In Ballerina tutus.
  • The shooting star's reaction to Germany's long list of improvements for Italy, said in a very high-pitched, tinny voice:
    Star: Oh, come on, Germany! I'm a frickin' star, not a frickin' miracle worker! Please give me a break!
  • The dub bloopers. Although they're pretty much all by Germany and America's voice actors.
    "You got period chopsticks."
    "Oh fuck it. Buttholes."
    "What am I, a hooker?"
    "FIVE CATS FOR FIVE DEUTCHMARKS AT ARBY'S!"
    "*ten seconds straight of complete, nonsensical blabbering*". "It's a long fuckin' line, I didn't know, I was just gonna be a smartass! And it kept going."
    "Double-vu-tee-eff".
    "*falling out of the sky* HOLY SHIT, WHAT HAVE WE DONE?! OH MY FUCKING GOD, THEY'RE SHOOTING LASERS AT US! OHMAHGO- *blargsplash*"
    "Win what, stupid?"
    "Make these blobs sign this shit!"
  • Many of the characters with minor appearances manage to make them hilarious. Belarus, for example gets this line regarding her sister:
    "Why do you leave me here with double d meets double dumb?"
    • And speaking of Ukraine:
    Ukraine: I am sorry. My big boobies make my back hurt so I didn't think I could perform well.
    • Romano had his memetic "WHAT THE CRAPOLA HAPPENED HERE?! And where is my stupid brother, anyway?" before getting turned into a Pictonian.
      • His shout of "ASSHOLES!" that immediately follows him being turned into a Pictonian. Looks like there are some people that they can't completely take over.
    • Greece's sole line before getting turned is "I love cats. Is that so wrong?" Made better by the fact that this line is completely random and he is surrounded by about a dozen cats as it is delivered.
    • Poland happily greeting his pony only to be taken aback by its lack of eyes (due to it being pictified).
    • Finland's adorable little "Ho ho ho!" moments after he gets turned.
    • The fact that the Pictonians cannot attack Switzerland and Liechtenstein because of Switzerland's neutrality (which manifests itself as a giant force-field over his country) is both funny and awesome at the same time.
    • There's something adorably funny about the opening scene with Iceland sitting there with his puffin perched on his head for no apparent reason.
      • The scene is followed by a triple Iceland eyecatch.
    • Prussia gets a whopping 29 seconds in the whole movie, and he milks those 29 seconds for all they've got. Including managing to say "I'm awesome" twice in the first ten seconds.
    Prussia: Hey, hey, heey! It's dance time, I'm AWESUM! Ze popular singing show made for me und also by me because I am awesum Prussia! Now, let's get us stared, shall ve? Today we've got Ukraine and Belarus! zay're singing...CARROT UND A STICK!!! ......... CARROT UND... A STICK!
    Guy: Sorry sir. They cancelled last minute.
    Prussia: ZEY DID VAT!? WHO DO ZEY TSINK ZEY ARE, SE VHITE STRIPES?!"
  • When France and England are caught on the Pictonian's mothership, and England correctly predicts that there is a way to escape. Cure a rope falling from the top of the screen for no reason at all, which England doesn't find the least bit odd. And then, when he pulls it, they fall down a trap door.
    • When they enter the room and see a holograph of the Earth.
    France: What a gorgeous, swollen blue ball!
    England: It's the Earth, you idiot.
    • The lovely narrator then overlaps it Ship Tease:
    Narrator: Deep down in their heart of hearts, they love each other. *dramatic pause* Sexually.
  • After America dramatically announces how everyone is going to back him up while they invade the mothership, we see Germany ignoring him and holding a handful of straws out to everyone.
    Germany: Draw lots, find your groups, und get searching.
    America: Hey, don't ignore me!
  • As the countries are changing back from Noppura, America gets this gem.
    America: I'm so happy to see you, hands! We're gonna have so much fun!
  • "Pasta!" "Meow!"
  • The commentary has some good parts. One in particular is when the group is answering questions, and one is asked of Jerry Jewell, on his character of Russia:
    Eric Vale: Where does your accent [as Russia] come from? I mean, where do you draw upon...?
    Jerry Jewell: Well, mostly out of my mouth.
    Eric Vale: It's a good starting point.
    Jerry Jewell: I mean, it's a strange mechanism...
  • The rants for and against Harry Potter must be heard to be believed.
    • Especially how J. Michael Tatum (who really doesn't like the series) keeps interrupting himself, mid-rant, to laugh about how he'll never be able to leave the recording studio again, lest the people outside kick his ass for what he's been saying.
    Jamie Marchi: You know if JK Rowling ever heard this and then you two met, she's probably fight you.
    J. Michael Tatum: If JK Rowling and I get into a fight, guess who's gonna fucking win!
  • Speaking of the commentaries, there's also the discussion Eric Vale, Jerry Jewell, and Jamie Marchi have about childhood experiences jumping off of roofs. Jamie tells about how she jumped off of the roof of her house to prove that she was One Of The Guys. Eric jumped in an attempt to fly like Superman, even tying a bedsheet to himself, like a cape (to which he was told "at least you had something to mop up the blood with"). Jerry leaped off of some playground equipment and landed in such a way that his foot broke in half, leading to the others joking that he was down to six inches and only had a "fo" left.

     Drama CDs 

  • Hetalia Fantasia 2:
    Norway: Brother...
    Denmark: ?
    Norway: I'm painfully shy around strangers, so I want to go..
    Denmark: Is that sooo? In other words, you just wanna have a two man party with m-
    Norway: *grabs his necktie*
    Denmark: *choking* Don't grab my necktie-!
    Germany: What kind of scenario is this..?
    • Then a few minutes later..
    Japan: If I may ask...were you two gentleman in the middle of completing a quest?
    Denmark: We were just gonna kick some boss tail!
    Norway: *deadpan* We're lost.
    Denmark: *vehemently* We're not lost! We're not really lost or anything you know!
    Norway: I go and follow this guy's lead and we both end up lost.
    Denmark: W-w-w-w-w-we are not LOST! No matter which way I look at it, we're the ones looking for the others here!
    Japan: They certainly seem to be quite the merry duo, Germany...
    Germany: If the five of them were to get together, things would be even more dreadful.
    Japan: It certainly seems that way...
    Norway: We're looooost and it's all stupid brother's faaaauuuult...
    Denmark: I told you already, we're not LOST!!!
    Japan: Now, now—
    Denmark: Sverige, Fin, Ice, are OBVIOUSLY the ones who are lost!!!
    Norway: No way.
    Denmark: (makes some strange noise in frustration)
    Japan: Ah, but...
    Norway: You don't want to search with me?
    Japan: That is not what I mean.
    Norway: Ahh. You don't want to search with my brother?
    Japan: That is not what I meant!
    Norway: You don't want to search at all?
    Japan: That isn't it!
    Germany: Japan...
    Germany: I think I heard a few disturbing words in that last sentence...but I'll pretend I didn't hear it.
    America: *screaming in the distance*
    Denmark: You hear a bird just now?
    Norway: That's a bird, all right.
    Germany: How did you get a bird from that?
    • When they find America..
    Germany: What happened to you America?
    America: England you IDIOOOOTTTT!!!!
    Germany: I think I can imagine what happened now...
    Japan: Indeed.
    America: *still screaming/sobbing in distress* Why did this happen!? This is WRONG! This is just plain WRONG!!
    Japan: *in a soothing tone* Now, now...Look! Here's some candy that old ladies always carry with them, but you don't know where they buy them from!
    America: *takes candy* Eh, oh... Yeah, where do they buy this stuff..?
    Japan: Have you calmed down now, America?
    America: Y-yeah... A little...
    Germany: What kind of comforting method was that...?
    Japan: Tis a technique native only to Japan!

  • Hetalia Fantasia 3:
    • China briefly being distracted from telling the other Allies that Canada has been kidnapped to ponder if he is 4000 or 5000 years old.
    • This exchange:
    America: What happened was blah-blah-blah yadda-yadda-yadda!
    France: Wh-what was that?!
    England: No way! That actually happened?!
    Russia: What does "blah-blah-blah yadda-yadda-yadda" mean?
    England: Get a clue, Russia! When America and Japan got in touch with this weirdo player online, not only was he incredibly strong, delusional and emo, but he kicked the ever living crap out of the already strong America and Japan! That's what he said!
    America: If you say all of that, then what the hell was the point of me saying "blah-blah-blah yadda-yadda-yadda" to save time?!
    • America saying "Shit!" ["Sheet!"].
  • The Not-So-Efficient Newspaper Club:
    • This line from Japan:
    • The ending. France is upset he can't submit his love poems to the newspaper, so he spends the next two hours reciting them, presumebly forcing Canada to listen to them.

     Other 

Attack on TitanFunny/AnimeAzumanga Daioh
Attack on TitanFunny/MangaHetalia Bloodbath 2010

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