- Episode 1: From the English dub of the Meeting scene, we have gems like Switzerland saying, "MAN UP OR I'LL BEAT YOU WITH MY PEACE PRIZE!", and Germany explaining how to ask a question...
"Now, if you vant to go, make sure you're prepared und raise your hand, but do so in a vay that does not mock any salutes of my country's past
- Made even funnier when you realize that the Nobel Peace Prize is hosted by Norway.
- Let's not forget this little gem:
China: Would you like to sample some Chinese tasty treats? :D
France and Britain: *not ending their fight* WE'D JUST GET HUNGRY AGAIN!!
- Episode 6:
England: Bring on the fire. Bring on the hell. Set everything ablaze so that no trace remains. Bring on the fire-
America: I feel like we're summoning the Devil!
- Episode 7: America states about Germany "I bet he's deeply in love with Italy. He's probably chasing after good artwork or Italy's butt. What's so great about his butt? Really, I'm at a loss."
Romano: Hey there Hasselhoff, I've got a little surprise for you!
Germany: Great. Vhat iz it? Another Jew?
- Also, Romano calling Germany "Herr Hasselhoff"
- "THIS WEATHERMAN IS PREDICTING A 99% CHANCE OF SHITSTORM, AND IT'S COMING RIGHT AT YA!"
- And right after that: "WAAAAH! IT'S FRAAANCE!!!" "Oh no, Germany!!!".
- One word: MOUSTACHE.
- Episode 8: After the UK uses Italy to capture Germany he interrogates Italy and Germany separately, and Italy exposed that Germany is pretty much a Covert Pervert.
Germany: Before I tell you, I've have somezing I vant to say. It goes a little somezing like zis: Lick mein balls!
Italy: Aaah! Why are you pointing a gun at me!? I've already told you I'll tell you everything I know, which is pretty much everything I know! Please don't shoot me, PLEASE!"
Germany: Do your vorst! Compared to my everyday life, your kind of torture vould be like bites from a mosquito!
: Yeah, he's kind of a sadist; actually he's an intense super kind of sadist with a lot of hardcore books and DVDs! You can't guess what I've seen living with him! There was one video I saw that had dogs in it! He really likes tying people up too, and I'm sure you know what that means
! Up until recently his government endorsed bestiality with all of its soldiers!
Germany: *pant* *pant* *pant* *pant* *pant*
Germany (Later to Italy): I hate you und your ass face.
- Episode 9:
- And England's reaction to this strategy and the ensuing "discussion"...
England: No thanks. I'll won't be a part of one of your half-wit schemes.
America: Why do you hate me? Are you still pissed of about that whole "Revolutionary War" thing?
England: Since you're illiterate and not our leader mostly my mind wonders while you're speaking. Like recalling how we burnt your capital to the ground in 1814.
England: Sometimes I picture you as the diabetic fat person you'll likely be in a few more years on your strictly hamburger diet.
America: Uh- Since we're all sharing our feelings... Those pastries you served me when I visited your house the other day? They tasted like petrified couch stuffing.
England: BASTARD! Those scones were a recipe passed down by my mumsy!
America: *Being choked* Those things were supposed to be scones!?
France: When you two are done releasing sexual tensions, we have got a meeting we need to finish!
- Episode 11:
Britain: *Sigh* No surprise, the meeting ended once again without any resolution. Blast all! I really do wish there was someone around here who I didn't always fight with.
Flying Mint Bunny: Hi there!
Britain: Flying Mint Bunny! Did you come here to try and cheer me up!? Huh?
Flying Mint Bunny: I wanted to see you, Britain, so I flew right over!
Britain: This is great! All my magical friends at the same time! But let's have no murders this go around, okay? I'm serious, guys!
America: Hey, Britain! Can I talk to you for a second?
Britain: Hey! No fair chewing on my sleeve, Uni! I'm too ticklish, so stop the snuggling. You're naughty, Captain Hook, Tinkerbell's not big enough! Take that big, goofy kiss face to your little leprechaun friend, since he's the only one who cares! Kidding~ Seriously, you're all nutbugers! What am I to do with you! AHAHAHAHA!
- Episode 12: Germany training Japan and Italy, while Britain is spying on them.
Germany: Britain vants you to acknowledge his bastard child as your own. Vhat do you do?
Britain: Hahaha. Stupid Germany. I'm SAS. When it comes to spying, no one is better than Britain! Cheers~ Ha! That was all too easy. Now I shall observe their top secret training.
Germany: Vhat do you do? Britain is slowly closing in on you, but he's dressed up for Carnival und swishing his hips!
- Episode 13:
Britain: Why must you insist upon interrupting me all the time!? Do you have some kind of grudge against me!?
Russia: No! Uhhhhhh... Wait a second. Yes I do.
Britain: My grudge is more important than your grudge! I won't let you revengious interruptious! Now! The British curse of food and bad tea! *Japan is grilling something in the background but nothing happens*
Russia: Ha~ *Stares at Japan* Aaaaaa~
Britain: No! Stop! I'm cursing!
Japan: *Clutches stomach* Ugh, my berry.
Russia: Ha~ Alright. Ready to begin.
Britain: Ahaha. That's some really spooky stuff there, chap!
- Episode 15:
Japan: I can't berieve this! Put some crothes on at once! Bare skin in pubric dishonors the ghost of your ancestor!
Italy: Aww~ But I'm hot and I'm Italian and all the chicks dig it! Why don't you get naked?
Japan: I couldn't possibry show a strange man my groin croth! I'm begging you to put some crothes on! I could see to your deviant need to sreep in bed compretery nude aready! I give up. Mr. Germany! You have to say something to him, prease!
Germany: Hm? Hey Japan. Can I vash your back?
Japan: No. It's crean. *Thinking* Nakedness in Western Curture wirr arso take some getting used to.
- Episode 19: Well... see for yourself.
- Episode 21: "Is that your girlfriend, or boyfriend, or gender-neutral chibi thing?"
- Episode 26:
England: Ugh... Am I Catholic... or Protestant...? God, I don't know!
Waiter: 'Scuse me, is he okay?
America: He always gets like this when he starts drinking.
England: You don't know me! I'm United bloody Kingdom and I can held my locker better then you any day!
America: Dude, calm down!
England: Shut up! I felt bad about how the way old frog face was treating you so I saved your ass. Thought maybe we could be friends and bond over our mutual hatred for France but uh-un. YOU DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME YOU JUST WANTED TO TELL ME NOT TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYWAYS I THINK THAT'S TOTAL BOLLOCKS!
England: (Later) *Shivering* Why won't the light just shut up? I swear I'm never going to drink again... Someone please kill me...
America: Dude can party!
France: Quel connardnote
- Episode 27: Germany chasing off England, France, and Bulgaria for hitting Italy with a stick.
Germany: Hey, hold on a sec, Bulgaria! Aren't you part of the Axis?
Bulgaria: Yeah, but take a look at him and tell me you haven't wanted to do the same thing.
- About Italy's "combat prowess":
- Episode 29: This line from Latvia:
Latvia: I'm glad everyone treated you well. We were all placing bets on whether they'd call you a drunkard or bring up Lake Placid and the Miracle on Ice!
Lithuania and Estonia: THAT HASN'T HAPPENED YET!!!
- Episode 31:
- Fat Christmas, I mean America.
America: "Dude, Christmas rocks! We know how to do it right here! First, we x-out the "Christ part to make it extreme! Then, we shop and eat stuff until we're sick! Want to shovel down some X-mas cake to get in the spirit?!
- Christmas in Godless Russia.
Russia: "December 25th is just like any other day at my house, da? Our big winter celebration is called Epiphany. On January 7th when the wise men visited the baby Jesus. But instead of that story we teach kids a version of pagan beliefs using a guy called Dyed Moroz, or Father Frost, who preforms witch-craft if you make dolls of him.
Italy: "Wow, that's amazing!
Russia: "Tradition says that those dolls will start moving after 25 days.
Germany: "Vhat the hell!? Christmas is freaking crazy in Russia!
Italy: "Please hold me...
China: Christmas trees are illegal in my country. It kinda sucks.
China: It's because they catch fire too easily. The trees, not the girls.
Switzerland: "Christmas is about family and loving people!"
"...Now get bent." *slams door*
- Episode 35: About the Olympics:
Narrator: Narrator poll! Who here thinks France is going to get naked?
- Episode 37: This gem of an exchange after Italy has a nightmare about his friends hating him:
Italy: HOW DO I GET MY FRIENDS TO NOT ABANDON ME!?
France: Well... Sometimes showing your butt will do the trick.
Italy: Hey Japan! Wanna see my butt? :D
Japan: Not if you paid me one mirrion dorrar.
- Earlier, France claims that he was having a dream about chocolate and Jerry Lewis.
- After Italy has his nightmare about his friends hating him, Italy jumps onto Germany while he's in bed and goes on a rant asking him to never leave him. Germany yells at Italy to get off him and says, "Mein Deutsch balls!"
- Episode 38: When Italy writes Germany a very heartfelt letter about how he fears that Germany will forget about him because of a dream he had, Germany is visibly upset and tells Japan (who found the letter but couldn't make out the handwriting) that it was written by Italy and that something is troubling him. Japan looks shocked and gasps "Italy is literate?!?"
- Italy to Germany: "Oh, how cool! I didn't know you were 'telepathetic'!"
- "Germany, where did the pinky swear come from?" "Japan. Never ask him to elephant swear."
- Episode 48:
Italy: Hey, Germany! What are you doing? Can we go play football? Can we?
Germany: Nein, I'm reading.
Italy: But it's so pretty outside! Let's play football! Hey~ Germany, play football, Germany~ Hey~ Football, Germany~ Germany, Football~
Germany: ARE YOU VANTING ME TO GAS YOU!?
- After England's apparently died:
America: Dude, Britain is totally dead!! Let's go get a drink to celebrate! *Britain sits up* See? I told you he would wake up if we did that!
- The accents. That is all.
- Chibi-England calling France a cheese eating surrender monkey.
- America's epic freak out after watching a horror movie with Japan:
- What really seals it is Japan's totally deadpan reaction to said freak out, even as America is clinging to him and practically screaming in his ear.
- Also, this: "And so another victory of cross-culture with America in the driver's seat. USA!"
- "....they had all become assholes. ^_^"
- "China, I choose you!"
- France: "Sex is a valid workout!"
- Everything the narrator says.
"Ooh, pretty music!"
"Polish horses never charged German tanks at the battle-... Right. Anime fans, Germany invaded Poland in '39. Right. American fans, Poland is a country! In Europe! :D"
- "I'm Canadia! T__T"
- "Ve don't have to kiss, do ve?" "Nope! ...Unless you want to."
- Germany meets The Roman Empire
"First Carthage fell and others died, good times. Ah, memories. I just ate, had sex, fought, had sex
and slept every day"
- Cafe Germany
Germany: VELCOME TO ZE CAFE DU PAY! YOU'RE LATE UND VILL BE TREATED VIZ CONTEMPT!
Guy: ...what? I-I'm so sorry.
Narrator: Germans should really stick with engineering.
Guy: Wow, you're mean...
Guy: Yes, sir.
Narrator: Why read it when you can taste it on his breath?
Germany: You've only got 15 minutes to eat. If you can't finish eating vith in ze time limit, I vill kill you.
Guy: That's fair.
Narrator: Reminds one of grammar school.
Guy: Thanks for the food. (Stands up to leave)
Germany: *Puts his hand on guy's shoulder* Our time togezzer has been very special. Make sure to lock your doors at night.
Guy: N-No problem
- Cafe Spain
- The guy he's serving just got dumped by his girlfriend and, since Spain can't sense the mood, he acts cheerful through the whole thing, even though the guy looks like he's about to cry.
Spain: Oh, wow! Are you really a customer, mister? Yes! You are one! Sorry, it's been a long time! I'm so glad! *Pants back* let me touch your back!
Spain: You know, because of the bad economy nothing's really been happening,
Spain: ...but things are looking up now!
Spain: Oh yeah! I made this shirt after our king told Venezualan to shut up! Isn't that just awesome!? I'm telling you man! It's like the real people! *Guy puts on the shirt* Wow! It looks so good on you!
Spain: I want to send on of these shirts to Venezualan, too. You look so cool that I definitely want to go on a date with you, I mean, if I were a girl!
Spain: Now, coffee! I'll go get you some for you! Just sit tight, okay?
Spain: Oh! Well, this is embarrassing! Since I haven't had many customers, I've only got instant coffee!
Guy: Life...is meaningless...
- "My boss and Italy's boss, both fabulous dancers and narcissists..."
- Romano's reaction to Russia touching Italy: "Touch of death!"
- "Before we go on to the history lesson, instead of saying one joke, I'll tell you two punchlines!"
- "I want a brother, or at least a pet sugar glider!" Courtesy of none other than Latvia.
- Germany, upon finding Italy in his bed: "How in ze holy fuhrer did he get into my bed?!?"
- That entire scene is hilarious, from Germany refusing to believe that the "weirdo" in his bedroom is Rome ("It's zat kind of attitude, my only option is to shoot you in ze head!") to Germany trying to convince himself that the entire encounter is All Just a Dream, to Rome asking why Germany isn't sleeping with many beautiful women and getting a response of "I VILL PUNCH YOU IN ZE THROAT!"
- Though he does only say that when Rome questions his heterosexuality. Not that that's an unfair assumption, considering where Italy was.
Rome: So tell me. what kind of a man doesn't have a women in bed with him every night? When I was your age, I had a plethora of a lovely ladies around me. Oh? Are you not into girls?
Germany: I VILL PUNCH YOU IN ZE SROAT!
Rome: Oh, come one now. Don't be so sensitive! No one here's a judging! There's nothing wrong with playing for another team. And everone likes to experiment a little, except me, of course.
Germany: You sound just like France...
Rome: Well, there's always a little bit of the self-love, is there not?
Germany: NO VAY!
Rome: OH!? You masturbate! Everyone a takes care of the business not and again! Masturbation is a natural!
Germany: THAT"S DISGUSTING!
Rome: You must be a saint~
- Italy oversleeps again, so Germany calmly sits down next to the bed and says the following:
- Italy: (to Germany) "You can order me around and I'll disappoint you!"
- When Germany, Japan, and Italy are stranded on an island, Japan mentions that they should have a team name.
Japan: What do you think about "Axis"?
Japan: It mean we are arr connected together by an axis, and when we prevair, the worrd wirr turn on that new axis.
Germany: Abstract. I vas thinking "Fire Death Team."
Japan: No. It better to confuse with obtuse metaphor.
- "MAKE PASTA, NOT WAR" — No truer words have ever been spoken.
- When Finland tries to tell about how there's a mysterious child wandering around the colonies in the New World, and France is more interested in the fact that he caught a fish with only his hands. France then goes on to suggest that the child is a new nation, but not before lamenting how the fish got away and fell back in the river.
France: Oh crap, my fish!
- From that same episode, a little before:
Finland: [crying] Seriously, you guys, this isn't funny anymore. It's so mean and cruel and stupid!
France: *sigh* Tell us what happened, Finland.
England: Did you get your head stuck in the butter churn again?